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1
00:00:09,563 --> 00:00:11,698
Oh, my God. What happened?
2
00:00:11,723 --> 00:00:13,698
A little warning from The Dean.
3
00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:17,338
How's it coming with the money?
We've only got two weeks left.
4
00:00:17,362 --> 00:00:18,939
Yep, we're on target,
5
00:00:18,963 --> 00:00:22,419
it's the final push but, um...
6
00:00:22,443 --> 00:00:24,178
..we're low on stock.
7
00:00:24,202 --> 00:00:25,579
Of what?
8
00:00:25,603 --> 00:00:28,018
Everything. Even crack?
9
00:00:28,042 --> 00:00:29,419
It's our bestseller.
10
00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:32,579
Professionals, clubbers,
students, they love it.
11
00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:34,539
Yeah. It can get you like that.
12
00:00:34,563 --> 00:00:37,139
OK, so how do we replenish stock?
13
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,459
You need some fresh ingredients
and a cook.
14
00:00:40,482 --> 00:00:43,298
I'll arrange it. Well done.
15
00:00:43,323 --> 00:00:44,762
I'm impressed.
16
00:00:45,843 --> 00:00:48,179
The Brook Hill crew is
nominally run
17
00:00:48,203 --> 00:00:49,499
by this man,
18
00:00:49,523 --> 00:00:52,098
Christian Taylor.
Taylor's currently inside
19
00:00:52,122 --> 00:00:54,098
for violating the terms
of his probation.
20
00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:56,418
So who's in charge now?
His lieutenants?
21
00:00:56,442 --> 00:00:58,018
Unclear. Souljah's gone to ground,
22
00:00:58,042 --> 00:01:00,219
and Spider was shot and injured by
persons unknown.
23
00:01:00,243 --> 00:01:02,978
Have you spoken to him? We have.
He's still so weak he could barely
24
00:01:03,003 --> 00:01:05,218
answer our questions let alone run
any kind of crew.
25
00:01:05,242 --> 00:01:06,899
Do we know how Brook Hill is
structured?
26
00:01:06,923 --> 00:01:08,778
Like most local crews,
we think they've got
27
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,802
a network of foot soldiers who are
young and highly mobile.
28
00:01:19,362 --> 00:01:21,899
I thought I might go
and see Mum later.
29
00:01:21,923 --> 00:01:24,259
Oh. Well, say hi from me.
30
00:01:24,283 --> 00:01:25,938
You could come, she'd like that.
31
00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:28,859
Normally I'd be in like Flynn,
but sadly, I got a thing.
32
00:01:28,882 --> 00:01:31,418
Do you not feel like
you owe Mum a visit?
33
00:01:31,442 --> 00:01:34,563
Absolutely. It's on my list.
Right at the top.
34
00:01:39,402 --> 00:01:41,859
Brook Hill is plugged into
the local community.
35
00:01:41,883 --> 00:01:44,859
Though we believe they have ties to
this major London player, The Dean.
36
00:01:44,883 --> 00:01:46,938
Well, that means Brook Hill has
to get profits back
37
00:01:46,962 --> 00:01:48,739
to London, which means a bagman.
Any leads?
38
00:01:48,763 --> 00:01:51,218
Not yet, but The Dean's been at the
top level for years,
39
00:01:51,242 --> 00:01:53,883
so anyone moving money
for him will be one slick operator.
40
00:01:54,923 --> 00:01:56,859
I don't like broccoli.
41
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,938
You can't live entirely off
Tangy Cheese Doritos.
42
00:01:58,962 --> 00:02:01,379
You need fruit and veg in your diet
if you want to love again.
43
00:02:01,403 --> 00:02:04,299
Why? All right, supposing you go
round to Anne-Marie's house
44
00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:05,858
and she's made you a nice salad.
45
00:02:05,882 --> 00:02:08,019
I'll just pretend to have a stroke.
46
00:02:08,043 --> 00:02:09,978
How about... an olive?
47
00:02:10,002 --> 00:02:11,618
Oh, fuck off!
48
00:02:11,643 --> 00:02:14,338
We've identified a kid -
Carter, 17 -
49
00:02:14,362 --> 00:02:16,179
we know he's running
for Brook Hill.
50
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:19,019
We need four plainclothes in one
week to run surveillance on him.
51
00:02:19,043 --> 00:02:21,378
No. I don't have the manpower.
Sir, if we sit on this kid
52
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:24,259
for long enough, whoever's running
Brook Hill will show their face.
53
00:02:24,283 --> 00:02:26,218
Two people, 48 hours.
Three people, 72 hours.
54
00:02:26,242 --> 00:02:28,802
Fine. But I want pictures
on my desk in three days.
55
00:02:31,002 --> 00:02:32,739
You better watch yourself.
56
00:02:32,763 --> 00:02:35,259
The Feds was here asking about
The Dean.
57
00:02:35,283 --> 00:02:38,002
They know someone's running my end,
so look sharp.
58
00:02:42,682 --> 00:02:44,658
You got to leave right now?
59
00:02:44,682 --> 00:02:46,819
Yeah. What?
60
00:02:46,843 --> 00:02:48,378
If you go,
61
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,739
I got to go back to my cell
and talk to Hank,
62
00:02:50,763 --> 00:02:53,483
and he ain't exactly
Graham Norton, you know?
63
00:02:56,082 --> 00:02:57,802
Can... can we just talk?
64
00:02:58,843 --> 00:03:01,658
What do you want to... talk about?
65
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,938
Anything.
66
00:03:03,962 --> 00:03:05,699
Why did you become a drug dealer?
67
00:03:05,723 --> 00:03:07,299
The pension plan.
68
00:03:07,323 --> 00:03:09,498
Aren't you scared of getting hurt?
69
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,618
My dad never broke the law once.
70
00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:14,938
He was a welder all his life.
71
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,859
What did he get
for all his honest hard work?
72
00:03:17,883 --> 00:03:20,378
Chronic lung disease from
the fumes.
73
00:03:20,402 --> 00:03:23,579
Why didn't you stay in school,
get an education?
74
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,259
If your family couldn't afford
to put food on the table
75
00:03:26,283 --> 00:03:28,538
and someone offered you
a chance to make money,
76
00:03:28,562 --> 00:03:31,962
what would you choose?
Dealing, or double maths?
77
00:04:09,122 --> 00:04:12,498
Following an extensive
community needs assessment,
78
00:04:12,522 --> 00:04:14,419
we have a strategy that's in
line with
79
00:04:14,443 --> 00:04:16,499
the city's economic action
plan. Slide.
80
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,499
When I say, "Slide," Susie,
jump to the next slide.
81
00:04:19,523 --> 00:04:21,098
What are you doing?
82
00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:22,658
Prepping for the Town Hall tonight.
83
00:04:22,682 --> 00:04:25,059
You can stand down, love,
I'll be doing the talking.
84
00:04:25,082 --> 00:04:26,738
You don't know how
to work PowerPoint.
85
00:04:26,762 --> 00:04:29,059
We don't need slides,
we need passion.
86
00:04:29,082 --> 00:04:30,538
This isn't rabble-rousing.
87
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,778
We need to convince
the council that we have
88
00:04:32,802 --> 00:04:35,098
the financial nous to take over
the community centre.
89
00:04:35,122 --> 00:04:37,098
You have never
done a Town Hall, love.
90
00:04:37,122 --> 00:04:39,499
You've got to win the crowd.
It is war.
91
00:04:39,523 --> 00:04:41,379
Maybe we should put it to
the group.
92
00:04:41,403 --> 00:04:42,579
Claire,
93
00:04:42,603 --> 00:04:45,019
although I fully support
the democratic process,
94
00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:46,978
in this instance, kindly do one.
95
00:04:47,002 --> 00:04:49,043
I will be speaking at the meeting.
96
00:04:51,762 --> 00:04:53,778
Oh, my God. Lara's back on Her.
97
00:04:53,802 --> 00:04:56,098
Am I supposed
to know what that means?
98
00:04:56,122 --> 00:04:58,178
Er, OK. Um, Lara,
99
00:04:58,202 --> 00:04:59,778
Lara is my ex,
100
00:04:59,802 --> 00:05:01,579
and Her is-is-is
a lesbian dating site,
101
00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:04,259
which means that she's single again.
I don't know what to do. I mean,
102
00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:06,899
should I DM her? I should probably
DM her, right? I mean, is it weird
103
00:05:06,923 --> 00:05:09,338
if I DM her? I don't know, I mean,
I think it would be weirder if
104
00:05:09,362 --> 00:05:11,858
I didn't DM her, is that right? What
do I do, Greg? Have you thought
105
00:05:11,882 --> 00:05:14,778
about DM'ing her? You really think I
should? I mean, last time I saw her,
106
00:05:14,802 --> 00:05:18,139
I royally shat the nest. Well,
you're in a better place now. Yeah.
107
00:05:18,163 --> 00:05:20,858
Emotionally, not physically.
I mean, your place was way nicer.
108
00:05:20,882 --> 00:05:22,579
Yeah. Are you on the apps?
109
00:05:22,603 --> 00:05:25,418
Oof! No. Need a full body or brain
transplant before
110
00:05:25,442 --> 00:05:27,579
an internet lady found
me attractive.
111
00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:30,579
That's nonsense. You should, you
should definitely be on the apps.
112
00:05:30,603 --> 00:05:32,139
Really? You think so?
113
00:05:32,163 --> 00:05:35,019
Yeah... Yeah, you should.
I mean, look, we...
114
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,259
..we need to work on
a few things first, but...
115
00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:38,619
Like what?
116
00:05:38,643 --> 00:05:41,218
Well, your diet,
posture, conversation,
117
00:05:41,242 --> 00:05:43,939
wardrobe, general aura and height.
118
00:05:43,963 --> 00:05:46,058
My height? Yeah. You're just...
119
00:05:46,082 --> 00:05:48,778
You're too tall.
You loom over people and it's...
120
00:05:48,802 --> 00:05:50,459
How can I change that?
121
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,139
You could be in the distance more.
122
00:05:53,163 --> 00:05:54,442
Sure, I'll try that. OK.
123
00:05:56,762 --> 00:05:59,019
Hmm. I'm going to make you my
new project.
124
00:05:59,043 --> 00:06:00,819
Greg 2.0.
125
00:06:00,843 --> 00:06:03,819
I'm going to sign you up to all of
the dating apps, so...
126
00:06:03,843 --> 00:06:05,298
..commit to change,
127
00:06:05,322 --> 00:06:08,002
choose happiness,
and eat the broccolini.
128
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,762
Careful, it's hot. OK.
129
00:06:14,322 --> 00:06:16,459
Mmm. That's amazing.
130
00:06:16,483 --> 00:06:22,338
Yeah? Mmm, thank you. Um,
I spoke to my parents.
131
00:06:22,362 --> 00:06:25,098
OK. You ask about the loan?
132
00:06:25,122 --> 00:06:26,778
No.
133
00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:28,259
No?
134
00:06:28,283 --> 00:06:30,738
It's just a bit difficult
cos, you know,
135
00:06:30,762 --> 00:06:33,403
all the money they saved was
for me to go to Oxford.
136
00:06:34,682 --> 00:06:38,978
OK. You're not getting cold feet
about Weston, are you?
137
00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:40,579
No.
138
00:06:40,603 --> 00:06:42,459
No, I... I...
139
00:06:42,483 --> 00:06:45,259
..I just want to approach it
really carefully,
140
00:06:45,283 --> 00:06:47,778
you know? Um,
so I told them we'd come over,
141
00:06:47,802 --> 00:06:50,658
bring dinner, then once they've
sampled your yummy food, then we'd
142
00:06:50,682 --> 00:06:54,579
bring up the loan.
OK. Is that OK? Yeah. You sure?
143
00:06:54,603 --> 00:06:56,322
Yes. OK.
144
00:06:59,562 --> 00:07:02,579
Can you just add a bit more chilli?
Cos Dad likes it hot.
145
00:07:02,603 --> 00:07:04,283
Yeah? Yeah. So do I.
146
00:07:10,362 --> 00:07:12,298
Eww! Go to your room!
147
00:07:12,322 --> 00:07:13,843
Go to YOUR room!
148
00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:21,139
Es, how would you like to move
to Weston with us,
149
00:07:21,163 --> 00:07:24,298
to open a food shack,
start selling my food?
150
00:07:24,322 --> 00:07:26,379
Why would people pay for your food?
151
00:07:26,403 --> 00:07:28,163
Cos it's different.
152
00:07:29,603 --> 00:07:31,218
Come on, Es.
153
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,939
Don't you want to live by the beach?
You know, sun, sea, donkeys.
154
00:07:33,963 --> 00:07:35,579
More people are killed by donkeys
155
00:07:35,603 --> 00:07:37,699
every year than die in
plane crashes.
156
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:40,202
So... is that a yes?
157
00:07:42,643 --> 00:07:46,379
Fine. But if a donkey
even looks at me funny,
158
00:07:46,403 --> 00:07:48,483
I'm moving back to Bristol.
159
00:07:58,163 --> 00:07:59,579
Excuse me.
160
00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:01,819
Excuse me, madam, this is private property.
161
00:08:01,843 --> 00:08:03,819
For your own safety, I'm going to
have to ask you
162
00:08:03,843 --> 00:08:06,139
to step on to the pavement, please.
163
00:08:06,163 --> 00:08:09,459
OK. Legally, we are now safe.
How can I help?
164
00:08:09,483 --> 00:08:13,338
Right, well, I live at number 14,
just across the road.
165
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,178
You look like you're in charge.
166
00:08:15,202 --> 00:08:17,098
Your eyes do not deceive you.
167
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,658
I thought I should let
you know that of
168
00:08:19,682 --> 00:08:24,322
an evening there's often comings
and goings in the centre.
169
00:08:26,523 --> 00:08:28,178
What, post-6pm?
170
00:08:28,202 --> 00:08:30,163
Yes. Sometimes late into the night.
171
00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,818
Can I take your name, please?
172
00:08:33,842 --> 00:08:36,019
Barbara Latham.
173
00:08:36,043 --> 00:08:38,578
I'm not being nosey or nothing,
I just thought it was
174
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:41,778
a bit odd, you know? It's been empty
for so long and then...
175
00:08:41,802 --> 00:08:44,578
Can you describe these comings
and goings, please, Barbara?
176
00:08:44,602 --> 00:08:47,538
Not really, I'd need to move my sofa
to get a proper look.
177
00:08:47,562 --> 00:08:49,139
That would be great, if you could.
178
00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:51,619
Sofa's quite heavy, though,
and I'm on my own.
179
00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:53,899
Right, well, you've got to bend at
the knees, you see?
180
00:08:53,923 --> 00:08:57,099
Really engage the core.
Use the breath.
181
00:08:57,123 --> 00:08:59,338
Breathe in. Lift. OK?
182
00:08:59,363 --> 00:09:00,818
Oi.
183
00:09:00,842 --> 00:09:03,619
Yeah? Get a good vantage point.
184
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:06,458
Take photos. Have you got a
telephoto lens? No.
185
00:09:06,482 --> 00:09:09,259
No? Well you can
pick 'em up cheap on eBay,
186
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:10,859
OK? Look,
187
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,379
if you see
anything suspicious, call me.
188
00:09:13,403 --> 00:09:15,163
Right.
189
00:09:17,202 --> 00:09:19,178
Shouldn't I call the police?
190
00:09:19,202 --> 00:09:20,619
Read the card, Barbara.
191
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,338
I'm a Trainee Police Community
Support Officer.
192
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:27,899
Round here, I am the law,
OK? Unless you get mugged
193
00:09:27,923 --> 00:09:31,802
or raped,
in which case, call the real police.
194
00:09:34,403 --> 00:09:36,538
I need you three
to pick up supplies for me.
195
00:09:36,562 --> 00:09:38,178
Supplies? Of what?
196
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:40,578
Raw product.
Then bring it here tonight,
197
00:09:40,602 --> 00:09:43,219
where a cook will cook it.
Ready for sale.
198
00:09:43,243 --> 00:09:44,658
Why do we have to do that?
199
00:09:44,682 --> 00:09:47,578
Because look at you -
no-one will suspect you.
200
00:09:47,602 --> 00:09:50,578
Well, why can't you do it? Because I
have to drive around intimidating
201
00:09:50,602 --> 00:09:52,979
little children that work for us.
Would you rather do that?
202
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:55,619
I don't want to do that, I don't
know anything about buying drugs.
203
00:09:55,643 --> 00:09:57,082
Could you just figure it out?!
204
00:09:58,202 --> 00:10:01,523
No-one taught me how to run
a drug empire in school, either.
205
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,139
I'd love to help,
206
00:10:08,163 --> 00:10:11,219
but I promised my daughter
I'd visit my ex-wife.
207
00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:14,458
If we're cooking crack cocaine,
YOU'RE cooking crack cocaine.
208
00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:16,219
Nah, leave him, leave him.
209
00:10:16,243 --> 00:10:20,499
He's fixing things with his family.
That's important. Yeah.
210
00:10:20,523 --> 00:10:23,259
OK, so I'm signing you up
for Tinder.
211
00:10:23,283 --> 00:10:24,778
No, I don't want to be one
212
00:10:24,802 --> 00:10:27,458
of those sad, desperate losers
on a dating app.
213
00:10:27,482 --> 00:10:30,458
All right, fine. I'll delete it.
I guess it is just a load of people
214
00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:33,379
looking for meaningless sex. Well,
I suppose I could give it one go.
215
00:10:33,403 --> 00:10:34,698
No Greg, I think you're right.
216
00:10:34,722 --> 00:10:37,099
I think we should ease you in more
gently. Maybe Eharmony?
217
00:10:37,123 --> 00:10:39,698
Isn't that mainly over-50s?
Yeah.
218
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:40,859
How old do you think I am?
219
00:10:40,883 --> 00:10:43,019
We'll need a sexy profile pic.
Have you got any photos
220
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,578
of you on holiday,
or maybe with a cute animal?
221
00:10:45,602 --> 00:10:49,219
Ooh, yeah. I've got a nice one of me
on Clacton Beach with a dead squid.
222
00:10:49,243 --> 00:10:52,379
Three, two, one, go!
223
00:10:52,403 --> 00:10:55,938
Oh, yeah, I mean...
maybe take your glasses off?
224
00:10:55,962 --> 00:10:57,338
Glasses off? Yeah, rock and roll.
225
00:10:57,363 --> 00:11:00,403
Yeah. Absolutely. OK. Aww. Smile.
226
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:04,698
You look like a Victorian
child-catcher.
227
00:11:04,722 --> 00:11:06,818
Let's try a pout, OK?
228
00:11:06,842 --> 00:11:08,938
So, say, "Prunes."
229
00:11:08,962 --> 00:11:12,298
Ooh, you look like someone's
doing something
230
00:11:12,322 --> 00:11:15,619
to you without your consent.
Greg, just...
231
00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:18,499
I'm out of my depth here.
If I can't even pose for a photo,
232
00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:20,938
what am I going to be like on a
real date?
233
00:11:20,962 --> 00:11:22,778
Maybe I can change the filter.
234
00:11:22,802 --> 00:11:25,058
Yeah? Can you filter out
middle-aged and desperation?
235
00:11:25,082 --> 00:11:28,139
No. But that's a great idea for
an app.
236
00:11:28,163 --> 00:11:30,818
I'm getting Greg back on
the dating horse
237
00:11:30,842 --> 00:11:32,698
and he needs a bit of practice.
238
00:11:32,722 --> 00:11:35,019
And this affects me how?
239
00:11:35,043 --> 00:11:38,619
Would you go on a
trial date with him? What?
240
00:11:38,643 --> 00:11:40,979
You know, just to report back,
let me know how he does,
241
00:11:41,003 --> 00:11:43,698
so that we can iron out any wrinkles
before he goes on any real dates.
242
00:11:43,722 --> 00:11:45,259
Definitely not.
243
00:11:45,283 --> 00:11:48,899
I find Greg not only unattractive
but sexually repugnant.
244
00:11:48,923 --> 00:11:50,938
No offence taken.
245
00:11:50,962 --> 00:11:53,298
Mmm. You see, the thing is, Diane,
246
00:11:53,322 --> 00:11:56,058
I need a woman I can trust to give
me an independent
247
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:59,219
heterosexual female
assessment of Greg's behaviour.
248
00:11:59,243 --> 00:12:01,778
I can't be seen socialising with
criminals. I mean,
249
00:12:01,802 --> 00:12:04,259
not only am I his community
support supervisor,
250
00:12:04,283 --> 00:12:05,979
I'm also a trainee PCSO now.
251
00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:09,243
But I need, you know,
a dating detective.
252
00:12:10,602 --> 00:12:12,099
Do you need fingerprints?
253
00:12:12,123 --> 00:12:13,763
DNA? Swab of the foreskin?
254
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,778
Whatever you think is useful,
255
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:19,499
but you would be doing me
a massive solid.
256
00:12:19,523 --> 00:12:21,259
Go on, then.
257
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,219
But only for the purposes
of research.
258
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,219
Fabulous, thank you.
I owe you one, darling.
259
00:12:25,243 --> 00:12:28,178
I'll pick you up at 19:00 hours. Oh,
would you mind if he picks you up,
260
00:12:28,202 --> 00:12:29,658
just to keep it more traditional?
261
00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,139
I'll allow it. Don't be late.
262
00:12:32,163 --> 00:12:33,923
No, ma'am.
263
00:12:45,962 --> 00:12:47,962
It must be so boring being
a drug runner.
264
00:12:50,883 --> 00:12:54,123
Sitting around and doing... nothing.
265
00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:59,763
Just... waiting and keeping lookout.
266
00:13:01,562 --> 00:13:03,802
I'd be so bored.
267
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,298
Nope, grey.
What are we looking for?
268
00:13:18,322 --> 00:13:21,139
We are looking for
a green Volkswagen Golf,
269
00:13:21,163 --> 00:13:23,778
and the driver has
a scar underneath his left eye.
270
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:26,538
Jesus. Of course he does.
Jesus. This is not happening.
271
00:13:26,562 --> 00:13:29,259
I'm a middle-aged bloke with a wife
and two kids, you know.
272
00:13:29,283 --> 00:13:32,979
I should be bleeding radiators or
creosoting a shed,
273
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:34,938
not sat here waiting to pick up
274
00:13:34,962 --> 00:13:39,003
a kilo of uncut shitting cocaine!
Forget it. Not doing it. Too late.
275
00:13:41,523 --> 00:13:44,619
Shit. Oh, shit. Shit!
What do we do now? What do we do?
276
00:13:44,643 --> 00:13:45,979
I don't know!
277
00:13:46,003 --> 00:13:48,178
I'll just consult my black-person
manual, shall I?
278
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,139
"Car Park Drug Deals -
chapter five."
279
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,123
Oh, window. Oh, shit,
we're doing this. Oh, fuck my life.
280
00:13:58,722 --> 00:14:02,178
Hello, all right? Yo.
Is it G... Are you G?
281
00:14:02,202 --> 00:14:04,019
Good afternoon, officer.
282
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,139
No, I'm not... I'm not a policeman.
283
00:14:06,163 --> 00:14:07,578
No? What do you do, then?
284
00:14:07,602 --> 00:14:11,458
Me? Well, I'm...
I'm between jobs at the moment
285
00:14:11,482 --> 00:14:14,339
because no-one's hiring a white,
middle-aged bloke these days,
286
00:14:14,363 --> 00:14:15,578
are they?
287
00:14:15,602 --> 00:14:18,058
Unless you're disabled or a
transgender vegan that's...
288
00:14:18,082 --> 00:14:19,578
Not... not... not now. Not now?
289
00:14:19,602 --> 00:14:21,178
You got the four bags?
290
00:14:21,202 --> 00:14:24,379
No, cos I think we're
buying them from you.
291
00:14:24,403 --> 00:14:27,899
Bag o' sand, grand.
Four grand. You got the four grand?
292
00:14:27,923 --> 00:14:30,418
We're from Bristol.
We don't do rhyming slang.
293
00:14:30,442 --> 00:14:33,139
Wait, if you call a grand
a bag of sand,
294
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:36,899
just interested, what do you
call a bag of sand?
295
00:14:36,923 --> 00:14:39,562
You got the money? Yeah.
296
00:14:43,123 --> 00:14:44,418
Shit, man!
297
00:14:44,442 --> 00:14:46,899
Don't wave it around like
a game show host!
298
00:14:46,923 --> 00:14:48,178
Put it in something!
299
00:14:48,202 --> 00:14:50,003
Er, have a look in the
glove compartment.
300
00:14:52,363 --> 00:14:54,099
Anything?
301
00:14:54,123 --> 00:14:56,979
No. Just some middle-of-the-road
white man music
302
00:14:57,003 --> 00:15:00,019
and an underwear catalogue that
seems to be catering
303
00:15:00,043 --> 00:15:01,698
for women with a fuller bust.
304
00:15:01,722 --> 00:15:03,538
What is this? Porn for cowards?
305
00:15:03,562 --> 00:15:06,458
Just my wife's.
It's OK. I've got an envelope.
306
00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:08,578
An envelope. I've got an envelope.
307
00:15:08,602 --> 00:15:10,418
There we go.
308
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:11,763
No!
309
00:15:13,442 --> 00:15:16,219
Right. You've put the money in?
I've done... Yeah.
310
00:15:16,243 --> 00:15:19,658
Get out... Yeah... and pretend to
drop your keys. Drop your keys.
311
00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:21,899
Leave the money on
the front-right tyre.
312
00:15:21,923 --> 00:15:24,178
He said, leave the money on
the front-right tyre.
313
00:15:24,202 --> 00:15:26,538
Then walk inside, get a coffee.
314
00:15:26,562 --> 00:15:29,298
He said, go get a coff...
I don't drink coffee.
315
00:15:29,322 --> 00:15:30,899
It makes me all kinds of wired.
316
00:15:30,923 --> 00:15:32,578
Is peppermint tea OK?
317
00:15:32,602 --> 00:15:35,139
Listen
It don't matter what you drink.
318
00:15:35,163 --> 00:15:37,658
Just go away, come back in ten,
319
00:15:37,682 --> 00:15:41,219
and the product will be where
the money is. You get me, right?
320
00:15:41,243 --> 00:15:42,962
Yeah.
321
00:15:44,602 --> 00:15:46,442
Go, then.
322
00:15:51,523 --> 00:15:54,003
Oh... Butterfingers!
323
00:16:02,043 --> 00:16:03,482
I've got 'em.
324
00:16:16,682 --> 00:16:20,178
Come on... We're coming. We're
coming. Oh, my God, it's there. OK.
325
00:16:20,202 --> 00:16:21,578
So, I have to...
326
00:16:21,602 --> 00:16:23,019
Oh. Do you know,
327
00:16:23,043 --> 00:16:25,722
I do not know what's wrong
with me today.
328
00:16:33,643 --> 00:16:36,322
Just wait, wait, wait. Jesus Christ!
329
00:16:48,643 --> 00:16:49,962
Hey, Mum.
330
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:57,099
Look who's come to see you.
331
00:16:57,123 --> 00:16:59,538
Hey, Lou.
332
00:16:59,562 --> 00:17:01,698
Does she even know we're here?
333
00:17:01,722 --> 00:17:03,099
She doesn't talk any more,
334
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,163
so we don't know how much
she knows.
335
00:17:07,643 --> 00:17:10,083
Frank is going to
take you for a walk today.
336
00:17:17,163 --> 00:17:19,459
Nice wheels you got there.
337
00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:22,098
Little different
from that Alfa Romeo we used
338
00:17:22,123 --> 00:17:23,883
to skip around in.
339
00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:29,259
Remember that time we drove all
the way to London just
340
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:33,002
to see the sun rise over
Tower Bridge?
341
00:17:35,363 --> 00:17:39,338
We broke down on
the freeway coming back.
342
00:17:39,363 --> 00:17:42,259
I flagged down that guy,
343
00:17:42,282 --> 00:17:45,722
persuaded him to swap his
Hillman for the Alfa Romeo.
344
00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:50,363
I wo... I wonder if he ever made
it home.
345
00:17:55,323 --> 00:17:59,202
I'm sorry... I didn't visit earlier.
346
00:18:01,883 --> 00:18:03,643
I've been busy.
347
00:18:07,643 --> 00:18:10,298
Remind me of the brief again?
Just choose an outfit you think
348
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:13,403
will make a good first impression
on a first date. Oh, I got it.
349
00:18:18,522 --> 00:18:19,818
Leather trousers?
350
00:18:19,843 --> 00:18:22,219
Yeah. I read in
GQ Magazine that every man should
351
00:18:22,242 --> 00:18:25,019
have at least one peacocking item
that really makes him stand out.
352
00:18:25,042 --> 00:18:26,898
Right, right.
353
00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:29,058
But you've... you've paired
the leather trousers
354
00:18:29,083 --> 00:18:30,818
with loafers and a shirt and tie?
355
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:33,019
I have, yeah,
yeah. Adding a bit of class.
356
00:18:33,042 --> 00:18:35,219
You look like the
Hell's Angels' accountant.
357
00:18:35,242 --> 00:18:38,778
Thank you. Greg, that's not a
compliment. It doesn't work.
358
00:18:38,802 --> 00:18:40,818
Why not?
359
00:18:40,843 --> 00:18:44,563
Jim Morrison - regional manager
of a Morrisons.
360
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,363
Come on!
361
00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:07,058
Does he want me to pull over?
362
00:19:07,083 --> 00:19:11,298
You can't. What? Don't pull over!
363
00:19:11,323 --> 00:19:13,219
No, he's... Shit!
364
00:19:13,242 --> 00:19:15,778
Shit! You've got
a kilo of coke in your bag!
365
00:19:15,803 --> 00:19:18,219
Oh, this is not happening!
What do we do? Stay calm!
366
00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:21,298
What happens, though? You just have
to act like you have not got a care
367
00:19:21,323 --> 00:19:23,442
in the world. Oh...!
368
00:19:47,802 --> 00:19:50,563
Can you turn the music down
please, sir?
369
00:19:56,323 --> 00:19:57,979
Is there a problem, officer?
370
00:19:58,002 --> 00:20:01,019
You were doing 40 in
a 30mph zone.
371
00:20:01,042 --> 00:20:04,499
Do you know, I literally didn't know
that that was a 30.
372
00:20:04,522 --> 00:20:06,818
I assume you understand
the dangers of driving over
373
00:20:06,843 --> 00:20:08,699
the speed limit in a built-up area?
374
00:20:08,722 --> 00:20:10,298
Listen,
375
00:20:10,323 --> 00:20:13,939
I know that Highway Code like
the back of my hand. Licence.
376
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,323
Sorry.
377
00:20:16,323 --> 00:20:18,898
Are you all right? Yeah.
378
00:20:18,923 --> 00:20:21,058
He just prides himself on being
a really good driver.
379
00:20:21,083 --> 00:20:23,618
He's a bit embarrassed.
Hopefully, three points
380
00:20:23,643 --> 00:20:26,378
and a 100-quid fine will make him be
a bit more careful in the future.
381
00:20:26,403 --> 00:20:28,739
Three points?! One minute.
382
00:20:28,762 --> 00:20:30,699
Three points?! Are you...?
383
00:20:30,722 --> 00:20:33,898
You should be out there catching
criminals, mate. Three points!
384
00:20:33,923 --> 00:20:37,778
Thank you, Officer,
and once again, we are really sorry!
385
00:20:37,802 --> 00:20:40,818
Three points.
That is... that is madness!
386
00:20:40,843 --> 00:20:43,618
Would you rather have 20 years in
jail for drug-dealing?
387
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,618
You all right?
388
00:20:45,643 --> 00:20:48,538
No, I feel... Oh...
I feel like I can't breathe.
389
00:20:48,563 --> 00:20:52,098
Oh, God. You're hyperventilating.
Hold on.
390
00:20:52,123 --> 00:20:53,762
Oh, God.
391
00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:56,818
Myrna, seriously, I'm...
392
00:20:56,843 --> 00:20:59,442
Take that. Breathe into that.
393
00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:02,538
Better?
394
00:21:02,563 --> 00:21:04,338
It's bloody plastic!
395
00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:07,499
Just take small breaths and try
and stay calm.
396
00:21:07,522 --> 00:21:09,338
I don't like it, Myrna.
397
00:21:09,363 --> 00:21:12,219
Right. Here we go. Try some of that.
398
00:21:12,242 --> 00:21:14,419
It is herbal, it will calm
you down.
399
00:21:14,442 --> 00:21:17,618
What the f...?! No! What is that?!
You're supposed to dab some behind
400
00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:19,219
your ears! Oh, for Christ's sake!
401
00:21:19,242 --> 00:21:21,363
Oh, Christ's sake, Myrna!
Oh, God!
402
00:21:27,442 --> 00:21:29,419
Bad luck, Reg.
403
00:21:29,442 --> 00:21:31,898
Come on, Stanley.
404
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:34,618
Bad luck, fellas.
405
00:21:34,643 --> 00:21:35,898
Want to go again?
406
00:21:35,923 --> 00:21:39,219
Oh, seriously? You're unbelievable.
407
00:21:39,242 --> 00:21:42,499
Dennis here
is the unbelievable one.
408
00:21:42,522 --> 00:21:44,858
Three winning shots on
the bounce.
409
00:21:44,883 --> 00:21:46,578
I think he's hustling me.
410
00:21:46,603 --> 00:21:49,138
So, you can't even spend
half an hour with her?
411
00:21:49,163 --> 00:21:51,818
Margie,
she has no idea what's happening.
412
00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:54,019
Do you even understand why
that's wrong?
413
00:21:54,042 --> 00:21:55,618
I have to level with you.
414
00:21:55,643 --> 00:21:58,058
Seeing her like this
makes me feel bad.
415
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,979
It isn't about you. When she got
sick, you never visited her,
416
00:22:01,002 --> 00:22:03,538
you just pretended she didn't exist.
Well, she does exist,
417
00:22:03,563 --> 00:22:06,338
and if seeing her makes you feel
bad, then that's tough!
418
00:22:06,363 --> 00:22:07,659
Whoa.
419
00:22:07,682 --> 00:22:10,659
Mum?!
420
00:22:10,682 --> 00:22:12,242
Get a... get a nurse!
421
00:22:33,282 --> 00:22:36,538
Hello, Rani. Hello, Mum.
422
00:22:36,563 --> 00:22:39,123
Come in, come in.
423
00:22:42,442 --> 00:22:45,778
Shoes off at the door, please.
Yeah, sure.
424
00:22:45,802 --> 00:22:48,138
I don't want any scratches on
my floor.
425
00:22:48,163 --> 00:22:51,298
There are no scratches on the floor.
Because it's shoes off at
426
00:22:51,323 --> 00:22:54,778
the door!
Please, put on some slippers.
427
00:22:54,802 --> 00:22:56,403
You can wear an old pair of mine.
428
00:22:57,522 --> 00:22:59,563
Yeah, you don't have to wear those.
429
00:23:00,762 --> 00:23:05,242
No, I've... I've never had a pair of
slippers before. Oh.
430
00:23:08,042 --> 00:23:10,138
They're... they're lush.
431
00:23:10,163 --> 00:23:11,979
Oh, good.
432
00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:13,298
I hope you're hungry.
433
00:23:13,323 --> 00:23:16,979
Oh, yes! Please,
it's through there.
434
00:23:17,002 --> 00:23:19,202
Thank you.
435
00:23:31,323 --> 00:23:34,219
Evening, Diane. You look nice.
436
00:23:34,242 --> 00:23:36,979
Subject is three minutes late
and did not,
437
00:23:37,002 --> 00:23:40,403
I repeat, not bring
flowers. Breathe.
438
00:23:42,442 --> 00:23:44,002
Breath, adequate.
439
00:23:45,643 --> 00:23:47,338
Aftershave, vinegary.
440
00:23:47,363 --> 00:23:49,259
You going to do this all night?
As I see fit.
441
00:23:49,282 --> 00:23:51,858
I just think it might ruin
the mood.
442
00:23:51,883 --> 00:23:54,603
Subject questions methodology of
the adjudicator.
443
00:23:56,202 --> 00:23:58,123
Bye, Mum!
444
00:24:00,202 --> 00:24:01,858
Subject picks up hot date in
445
00:24:01,883 --> 00:24:06,739
a beige 2012 Skoda Octavia.
446
00:24:06,762 --> 00:24:09,843
Makes him look like
a Bulgarian minicab driver.
447
00:24:16,603 --> 00:24:19,778
Vehicle interior smells
like balls and Glade.
448
00:24:19,803 --> 00:24:21,098
Happy to go?
449
00:24:21,123 --> 00:24:22,699
Yeah, let's get this over with.
450
00:24:22,722 --> 00:24:24,682
Oh, I'm going to
have to crack a window.
451
00:24:38,722 --> 00:24:41,042
Sorry, sorry.
452
00:24:43,442 --> 00:24:45,659
You're not what I expected.
You're late.
453
00:24:45,682 --> 00:24:47,058
Sorry, yeah.
454
00:24:47,083 --> 00:24:49,459
We just... we just had a bit of a
run-in with the...
455
00:24:49,482 --> 00:24:51,618
Traffic. With the traffic on the M4.
456
00:24:51,643 --> 00:24:54,098
You know what the traffic can be
like on the M4.
457
00:24:54,123 --> 00:24:56,858
My mum's the best cook in
the South West.
458
00:24:56,883 --> 00:24:59,578
She's Michelin-starred.
It's rude to keep her waiting.
459
00:24:59,603 --> 00:25:04,202
Sorry, let's... let's crack on,
shall we? No pun intended.
460
00:25:07,282 --> 00:25:09,843
It's just through
those double doors up there.
461
00:25:15,643 --> 00:25:20,019
John, there is a meeting tonight
which I cannot miss. Cop hold.
462
00:25:20,042 --> 00:25:22,419
What do you mean,
there is a meeting?
463
00:25:22,442 --> 00:25:25,298
You can't leave me
with these people.
464
00:25:25,323 --> 00:25:27,898
They seem nice.
They seem...? Myrna,
465
00:25:27,923 --> 00:25:29,939
these people cook crack for
a living!
466
00:25:29,962 --> 00:25:32,979
I'll only be an hour!
I don't want to do this on my own!
467
00:25:33,002 --> 00:25:36,778
Look, I know that today has been
rather stressful.
468
00:25:36,802 --> 00:25:38,019
Stressful?!
469
00:25:38,042 --> 00:25:40,939
I will be back in an hour.
I promise. Got to go.
470
00:25:40,962 --> 00:25:42,643
Listen. Listen...
471
00:25:45,242 --> 00:25:47,002
Myrns!
472
00:26:10,163 --> 00:26:12,138
You've not done this before,
have you?
473
00:26:12,163 --> 00:26:13,499
Can you tell?
474
00:26:13,522 --> 00:26:16,219
You don't look like someone who
usually deals crack.
475
00:26:16,242 --> 00:26:17,979
What do you need the money for?
476
00:26:18,002 --> 00:26:19,858
Gambling debts?
477
00:26:19,883 --> 00:26:21,419
Big divorce settlement?
478
00:26:21,442 --> 00:26:23,083
A London gangster wants to kill me.
479
00:26:25,163 --> 00:26:26,923
Classic.
480
00:26:39,163 --> 00:26:40,682
Calm your nerves.
481
00:26:43,242 --> 00:26:44,522
Cheers.
482
00:26:45,923 --> 00:26:47,242
Cheers.
483
00:26:49,603 --> 00:26:51,179
What's your name?
484
00:26:51,202 --> 00:26:53,138
John. Yours?
485
00:26:53,163 --> 00:26:54,578
Anastasia.
486
00:26:54,603 --> 00:26:55,898
Really?
487
00:26:55,923 --> 00:26:57,522
No.
488
00:26:59,163 --> 00:27:00,762
Never use your real name, John.
489
00:27:02,442 --> 00:27:04,123
First rule of crack-dealing.
490
00:27:13,163 --> 00:27:17,098
That's nice, innit?
Would you like another drink?
491
00:27:17,123 --> 00:27:18,739
Yeah, definitely.
492
00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:21,298
Excuse me.
Can I have another Grolsch
493
00:27:21,323 --> 00:27:23,603
for me, and a white wine spritzer
for him?
494
00:27:28,163 --> 00:27:30,138
Why don't you ask me
some questions?
495
00:27:30,163 --> 00:27:32,123
Questions, yeah. Good idea, yeah.
496
00:27:34,083 --> 00:27:36,459
What is your favourite colour,
please?
497
00:27:36,482 --> 00:27:37,699
This is a date,
498
00:27:37,722 --> 00:27:40,298
not a Smash Hits interview.
Just ask me an adult question.
499
00:27:40,323 --> 00:27:41,939
Have you ever had a threesome?
500
00:27:41,962 --> 00:27:44,179
No, not like an
adult movie question.
501
00:27:44,202 --> 00:27:46,979
And, yeah, I have.
Didn't enjoy it. Too much talking.
502
00:27:47,002 --> 00:27:50,818
Just ask me a normal question from
one person to another.
503
00:27:50,843 --> 00:27:53,058
Do you have any hobbies?
No. I don't have time
504
00:27:53,083 --> 00:27:55,338
for hobbies.
Too busy training as a PCSO.
505
00:27:55,363 --> 00:27:57,699
Oh, yeah. How's that going?
Yeah, it's awesome.
506
00:27:57,722 --> 00:28:00,338
Incapacitant spray training last
week. That was a highlight.
507
00:28:00,363 --> 00:28:01,898
What does that involve?
508
00:28:01,923 --> 00:28:05,419
This. Pepper spray.
509
00:28:05,442 --> 00:28:08,298
They spray it on our faces
so we know what it feels like.
510
00:28:08,323 --> 00:28:10,019
They issue you with this, do they?
511
00:28:10,042 --> 00:28:12,699
Oh, God. No, no.
Pepper spray is illegal.
512
00:28:12,722 --> 00:28:14,538
So, where did you get that?
513
00:28:14,563 --> 00:28:15,962
Next question.
514
00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:21,778
It's good to see you.
515
00:28:21,803 --> 00:28:23,578
Yeah, yeah, you too, you too.
516
00:28:23,603 --> 00:28:25,378
And you're drinking water?
517
00:28:25,403 --> 00:28:26,739
I'm... I'm completely off
518
00:28:26,762 --> 00:28:29,818
the booze now. Like, for real this
time. That's great.
519
00:28:29,843 --> 00:28:32,338
Yeah, yeah. Oh,
and the drugs and, yeah,
520
00:28:32,363 --> 00:28:34,778
I got rid of all the hangers-on,
you know?
521
00:28:34,802 --> 00:28:38,522
Just realised that they were
actually just taking the piss.
522
00:28:41,202 --> 00:28:44,898
Look, Lara, I... I...
523
00:28:44,923 --> 00:28:48,618
..I want you to know that I have
completely sorted myself out
524
00:28:48,643 --> 00:28:53,338
and, well, I... I saw that
you're... you're on Her,
525
00:28:53,363 --> 00:28:56,578
and I thought maybe
you might want to try again.
526
00:28:56,603 --> 00:28:59,058
Gabby...
I'm completely clean, I promise.
527
00:28:59,083 --> 00:29:00,499
I mean, I don't touch a thing now,
528
00:29:00,522 --> 00:29:02,818
not even on weekends or on
special occasions.
529
00:29:02,843 --> 00:29:05,419
That's great. Yeah.
I'm pleased for you, really,
530
00:29:05,442 --> 00:29:06,762
I am.
531
00:29:07,923 --> 00:29:11,098
But I forgot
to remove my profile from Her.
532
00:29:11,123 --> 00:29:13,762
I'm not single.
I'm actually engaged.
533
00:29:21,482 --> 00:29:23,083
Er... Congratulations.
534
00:29:25,682 --> 00:29:28,019
Wow. Um, do I...?
535
00:29:28,042 --> 00:29:29,603
No.
536
00:29:32,442 --> 00:29:35,138
Look, I probably need to go.
537
00:29:35,163 --> 00:29:36,538
Of course, no, of course.
538
00:29:36,563 --> 00:29:38,083
It really was nice to see you.
539
00:29:43,962 --> 00:29:46,802
The Hardest Button To Button
by The White Stripes
540
00:29:59,883 --> 00:30:03,123
Where did you hide it,
you overgrown stick insect?!
541
00:30:13,603 --> 00:30:16,163
Who still buys DVDs, Greg?!
542
00:30:38,323 --> 00:30:39,962
Yes!
543
00:31:08,363 --> 00:31:11,499
You look... tired.
544
00:31:11,522 --> 00:31:14,699
Your eyes are dark. Are you
getting enough sleep? Mum.
545
00:31:14,722 --> 00:31:16,578
Well, then you're not drinking
enough water.
546
00:31:16,603 --> 00:31:19,618
Jerzy, pour Rani a glass of water.
No, I don't want any water.
547
00:31:19,643 --> 00:31:21,578
Yeah, you need about seven or
eight glasses.
548
00:31:21,603 --> 00:31:23,163
I don't want any water!
549
00:31:28,363 --> 00:31:30,578
You may think you are old enough
550
00:31:30,603 --> 00:31:33,179
to look after yourself,
make your own decisions, but
551
00:31:33,202 --> 00:31:35,699
look at you. You're a mess.
Abandoning your future.
552
00:31:35,722 --> 00:31:37,019
I'm not talking about this.
553
00:31:37,042 --> 00:31:38,739
Living with a boy
with no prospects.
554
00:31:38,762 --> 00:31:41,298
What sort of a boy has never owned
a pair of slippers?
555
00:31:41,323 --> 00:31:42,499
Why are you fixating on that?
556
00:31:42,522 --> 00:31:45,298
Because it tells us all we need
to know about the kind of boy he is.
557
00:31:45,323 --> 00:31:47,419
That you are throwing your life
after some sort
558
00:31:47,442 --> 00:31:50,058
of low-life that we've always tried
to protect you from.
559
00:31:50,083 --> 00:31:53,818
Ahhhh. Wow,
smells delicious. Thank you.
560
00:31:53,843 --> 00:31:56,578
Ah. There's extra chilli in this
one for you,
561
00:31:56,603 --> 00:31:58,979
Mr Rekowski. Rani told me you like
your food hot.
562
00:31:59,002 --> 00:32:00,939
The hotter, the better!
563
00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:02,259
You make all this yourself?
564
00:32:02,282 --> 00:32:03,499
Yeah.
565
00:32:03,522 --> 00:32:05,042
I'll just be...
566
00:32:09,883 --> 00:32:14,058
My wife felt that we were stuck in a
rut, so Mr Romantic here surprised
her with a camping trip to Cornwall,
567
00:32:14,083 --> 00:32:18,098
and while I was emptying out the
chemical toilet, this chap came by
and he's like, "Oh, would you like"
568
00:32:18,123 --> 00:32:20,818
"to do some white-water rafting
with me?" Apparently some other
569
00:32:20,843 --> 00:32:24,578
people had dropped out and he needed
to make up the numbers cos otherwise
he would have lost his deposit.
570
00:32:24,603 --> 00:32:28,459
It doesn't matter, move on. Yeah,
well, anyway I couldn't do it,
myself, because I've only got my
571
00:32:28,482 --> 00:32:31,459
ten-metre swimming badge. But my
wife did go with him and, um...
572
00:32:31,482 --> 00:32:34,019
Don't tell me. You caught that other
bloke shagging
573
00:32:34,042 --> 00:32:37,259
your wife's brains out. No, no.
But she fell in love with...
574
00:32:37,282 --> 00:32:38,699
The other bloke.
575
00:32:38,722 --> 00:32:40,259
Cos he's a demon in the sack
576
00:32:40,282 --> 00:32:42,843
and having sex with you is like
shagging a giant Pepperami.
577
00:32:44,363 --> 00:32:47,019
No, she fell in love with danger
and adrenaline.
578
00:32:47,042 --> 00:32:49,459
Oh, right. There was no
stopping her after that.
579
00:32:49,482 --> 00:32:52,219
She got into base jumping,
and abseiling,
580
00:32:52,242 --> 00:32:54,699
and doing parkour around Bristol
city centre. I mean,
581
00:32:54,722 --> 00:32:56,979
we'd be down in town doing
a bit of Christmas shopping,
582
00:32:57,002 --> 00:32:58,858
she'd suddenly be off over
the roof of Argos.
583
00:32:58,883 --> 00:33:01,578
She wanted us to do
a bungee jump together, to try
584
00:33:01,603 --> 00:33:04,058
and sort of save the marriage.
So I agreed.
585
00:33:04,083 --> 00:33:05,378
We got harnessed up,
586
00:33:05,403 --> 00:33:07,499
stood on the edge
of Clifton Suspension Bridge
587
00:33:07,522 --> 00:33:09,898
but I couldn't go through with it.
She jumped, looked back,
588
00:33:09,923 --> 00:33:11,939
saw me standing there
and just shouted,
589
00:33:11,962 --> 00:33:14,818
"I want a divorce!" as she
plummeted into Avon Gorge.
590
00:33:14,843 --> 00:33:17,338
She bounced back up and shouted,
"You're dragging me down!"
591
00:33:17,363 --> 00:33:20,259
even though it was gravity
dragging her down at that point,
592
00:33:20,282 --> 00:33:23,778
to be honest, but I understood what
she was saying,
593
00:33:23,803 --> 00:33:26,762
which is that I'm boring.
594
00:33:28,123 --> 00:33:30,699
No. You're not boring.
595
00:33:30,722 --> 00:33:32,338
Want to do the quiz?
596
00:33:32,363 --> 00:33:34,482
Yeah, for the love of God,
yeah. Thank you.
597
00:33:37,563 --> 00:33:39,179
Team name.
598
00:33:39,202 --> 00:33:40,643
Diane and Greg.
599
00:33:43,282 --> 00:33:45,883
Margie... Don't talk to me.
600
00:34:01,002 --> 00:34:06,459
I have never tasted anything
like this. It's so... fresh.
601
00:34:06,482 --> 00:34:08,298
Would you give me the recipe?
602
00:34:08,322 --> 00:34:10,818
The recipe belongs to my grandma,
so I'm going to have
603
00:34:10,842 --> 00:34:13,059
to take that one to my grave!
604
00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:15,818
I'm really glad that you like
Ben's cooking,
605
00:34:15,842 --> 00:34:18,018
cos we actually have something
that we want to talk
606
00:34:18,043 --> 00:34:19,443
to you about.
607
00:34:20,963 --> 00:34:22,858
We're going to...
608
00:34:22,882 --> 00:34:25,322
We want to open a
food place in Weston.
609
00:34:26,882 --> 00:34:30,818
With my cooking and Rani's brain,
who knows?
610
00:34:30,842 --> 00:34:33,498
We might be able
to start our own franchise.
611
00:34:33,523 --> 00:34:35,898
And we were wondering if you could
give us a loan.
612
00:34:35,922 --> 00:34:39,179
Which we will pay back... Of course.
..once we get back on our feet.
613
00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:41,579
Oh! What about Oxford?
614
00:34:41,603 --> 00:34:43,219
That was your dream, not mine.
615
00:34:43,242 --> 00:34:46,059
So, a food shack in Weston.
That's your dream?
616
00:34:46,083 --> 00:34:47,963
Yeah.
617
00:34:53,762 --> 00:34:56,579
Your mother and I started
a business from scratch.
618
00:34:56,603 --> 00:34:58,378
It takes all of your energies.
619
00:34:58,402 --> 00:35:01,059
So much hard work,
you will have no free time.
620
00:35:01,083 --> 00:35:02,563
Yeah, I know.
621
00:35:03,643 --> 00:35:05,179
But I imagine
622
00:35:05,202 --> 00:35:07,498
the sense of achievement
must be intense.
623
00:35:07,523 --> 00:35:09,219
Starting a business from nothing,
624
00:35:09,242 --> 00:35:11,523
and raising such an amazing daughter
at the same time?
625
00:35:13,682 --> 00:35:16,083
What I want most is what you have.
626
00:35:18,322 --> 00:35:20,699
I never had a stable
upbringing. Well,
627
00:35:20,722 --> 00:35:23,699
you know, the thought
of starting my own business,
628
00:35:23,722 --> 00:35:27,523
buying my own house, wife, kids...
629
00:35:33,123 --> 00:35:35,018
So...
630
00:35:35,043 --> 00:35:38,298
..what do you think about the loan?
631
00:35:38,322 --> 00:35:39,882
We'll...
632
00:35:41,523 --> 00:35:43,043
We'll think about it.
633
00:35:45,483 --> 00:35:47,338
Look at the slide.
634
00:35:47,362 --> 00:35:50,139
14% of over-25s we surveyed
635
00:35:50,163 --> 00:35:52,579
said a phone mast brings no jobs to
the community.
636
00:35:52,603 --> 00:35:55,443
Or anything productive.
And on the next slide...
637
00:36:00,083 --> 00:36:03,219
What it will bring is faster
data download
638
00:36:03,242 --> 00:36:04,978
and upload speed,
639
00:36:05,003 --> 00:36:07,643
so no more waiting for Netflix
to buffer.
640
00:36:08,682 --> 00:36:10,898
And we're planning
to build in front of the mast site,
641
00:36:10,922 --> 00:36:12,458
as a voluntary contribution to
642
00:36:12,483 --> 00:36:15,259
the community, at our own expense,
643
00:36:15,282 --> 00:36:18,898
a park bench and three trees.
644
00:36:18,922 --> 00:36:21,739
Y-y-yes, but returning
to slide four...
645
00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:24,802
Oh. Just what we need. More slides.
646
00:36:26,322 --> 00:36:28,579
We don't need another park bench
around here, either!
647
00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:30,219
Where kids can go
648
00:36:30,242 --> 00:36:32,739
to drink or get high,
because they're so bloody bored.
649
00:36:32,762 --> 00:36:35,338
This guy will promise you
the moon on
650
00:36:35,362 --> 00:36:37,579
a string if it gets him his
planning application.
651
00:36:37,603 --> 00:36:39,938
But he'll be gone in a week.
652
00:36:39,963 --> 00:36:41,059
Me, and you,
653
00:36:41,083 --> 00:36:43,498
and Claire, we live here.
654
00:36:43,523 --> 00:36:47,338
There are kids out there as young as
nine or ten selling drugs
655
00:36:47,362 --> 00:36:48,898
to make ends meet.
656
00:36:48,922 --> 00:36:52,179
I know. I see them every day.
657
00:36:52,202 --> 00:36:56,818
They don't need faster mobile phone
speeds if they're dead or locked up
658
00:36:56,842 --> 00:36:58,539
or hooked on crack.
659
00:36:58,563 --> 00:37:00,099
Well...
660
00:37:00,123 --> 00:37:03,338
What they do need is somewhere
to go at nights,
661
00:37:03,362 --> 00:37:06,259
to study, to get what they need,
662
00:37:06,282 --> 00:37:09,579
where their parents can get therapy
or go to rehab.
663
00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:12,739
Or learn to dance. Mate,
664
00:37:12,762 --> 00:37:15,978
we don't need your phone tower
around here,
665
00:37:16,003 --> 00:37:20,762
what we do need is community!
666
00:37:24,163 --> 00:37:25,818
Plus...
667
00:37:25,842 --> 00:37:28,802
..5G gives you Covid-19!
668
00:37:55,123 --> 00:37:58,483
You like... you like cooking other
things, food, or...
669
00:38:00,682 --> 00:38:02,563
..just the crack?
670
00:38:20,802 --> 00:38:25,498
How does someone like you wind up in
trouble with a London gangster?
671
00:38:25,523 --> 00:38:27,978
That's a very long
and a very depressing story.
672
00:38:28,003 --> 00:38:30,179
We've got a while.
673
00:38:30,202 --> 00:38:31,722
Nah.
674
00:38:34,643 --> 00:38:37,083
You don't want my tale of woe.
675
00:38:39,802 --> 00:38:42,739
Want some? No.
676
00:38:42,762 --> 00:38:43,858
You ever tried it?
677
00:38:43,882 --> 00:38:46,338
Have I ever smoked crack?
Er, no. No,
678
00:38:46,362 --> 00:38:47,858
I've never smoked crack.
679
00:38:47,882 --> 00:38:49,219
I'm a middle-aged married man
680
00:38:49,242 --> 00:38:51,099
with two kids and
a recurrent hernia.
681
00:38:51,123 --> 00:38:52,498
All the more reason to smoke some.
682
00:38:52,523 --> 00:38:54,699
No, I read the papers,
I know what that stuff's like.
683
00:38:54,722 --> 00:38:55,938
Instantly addictive.
684
00:38:55,963 --> 00:38:58,179
I'd have one puff
and in a month, I'd have no teeth
685
00:38:58,202 --> 00:38:59,802
and a pimp named Alphonso.
686
00:39:01,163 --> 00:39:04,659
No. It's nothing like
The Daily Mail says.
687
00:39:04,682 --> 00:39:07,202
It's just amazingly good fun.
688
00:39:28,963 --> 00:39:30,739
How much amazingly good fun?
689
00:39:30,762 --> 00:39:33,242
It will make you
forget your tale of woe.
690
00:39:45,762 --> 00:39:47,322
Oh, shit.
691
00:39:49,083 --> 00:39:51,603
No Surprises
692
00:40:04,882 --> 00:40:07,083
She's stable...
693
00:40:15,003 --> 00:40:17,579
Which famous actor is said
694
00:40:17,603 --> 00:40:21,739
to have invented
the Magnum ice cream?
695
00:40:21,762 --> 00:40:24,179
Oh, what?! Who is going to get that?
696
00:40:24,202 --> 00:40:27,059
Roger Moore. He loved a choc ice
697
00:40:27,083 --> 00:40:29,978
but he didn't like getting chocolate
ice cream on his safari suit.
698
00:40:30,003 --> 00:40:32,938
So he thought, hang on, I'll pop a
stick in the end. Ergo, the Magnum.
699
00:40:32,963 --> 00:40:35,699
What about the picture round?
I don't know any of them.
700
00:40:35,722 --> 00:40:38,059
Rod Hull, Samantha Fox,
Keith Flint from The Prodigy,
701
00:40:38,083 --> 00:40:40,099
Kendall Jenner,
Jeffrey from Rainbow,
702
00:40:40,123 --> 00:40:43,338
Charles Manson, Emma Stone,
and DJ Bruno Brookes.
703
00:40:43,362 --> 00:40:46,818
What is the capital of Ecuador?
704
00:40:46,842 --> 00:40:49,139
Oh, you are havin' a laugh!
Quito.
705
00:40:49,163 --> 00:40:50,882
Yup, we got it. We know it.
706
00:42:07,362 --> 00:42:09,699
Hey...
707
00:42:09,722 --> 00:42:11,443
What?
708
00:42:24,722 --> 00:42:26,179
Anyone watching you?
709
00:42:26,202 --> 00:42:27,603
No.
710
00:42:28,722 --> 00:42:30,139
I can't see who's inside.
711
00:42:30,163 --> 00:42:31,418
Anyone complaining?
712
00:42:31,443 --> 00:42:33,043
Nah, I got compliments.
713
00:42:34,643 --> 00:42:36,418
Did you lose any regulars?
714
00:42:36,443 --> 00:42:37,858
Don't think so.
715
00:42:37,882 --> 00:42:39,458
Is that a yes or a no?
716
00:42:39,483 --> 00:42:40,858
It's a no.
717
00:42:40,882 --> 00:42:43,059
Don't lie to me. I ain't.
718
00:42:43,083 --> 00:42:44,898
Do you know what happens when
you lie?
719
00:42:44,922 --> 00:42:48,083
Yeah, and I ain't lying.
You better not be.
720
00:42:51,882 --> 00:42:53,842
Go.
721
00:43:07,882 --> 00:43:11,682
Which means the runners-up,
in second place...
722
00:43:12,682 --> 00:43:15,579
..with 36 points, are...
723
00:43:15,603 --> 00:43:16,938
You're crushing my fingers.
724
00:43:16,963 --> 00:43:18,978
I'm sorry, it's my natural
vice-like grip.
725
00:43:19,003 --> 00:43:21,139
..J Lo's Arse!
726
00:43:21,163 --> 00:43:23,498
Which means the winners are
727
00:43:23,523 --> 00:43:25,298
Cagney and Lacey!
728
00:43:25,322 --> 00:43:27,458
Yee-haw. Woo!
729
00:43:27,483 --> 00:43:30,818
Losers! Losers! Losers!
730
00:43:30,842 --> 00:43:33,259
Oh, hello, sir, you all right?
731
00:43:33,282 --> 00:43:36,099
Sorry, you just dropped something on
the floor. That! And one for you!
732
00:43:36,123 --> 00:43:39,099
Yeah! Wow! Oh, my God!
I've never won anything before!
733
00:43:39,123 --> 00:43:41,539
You are insane at quizzes!
734
00:43:41,563 --> 00:43:43,739
Well, thanks, yeah.
Product of a misspent youth.
735
00:43:43,762 --> 00:43:45,818
I played a lot of Trivial Pursuit in
my teens.
736
00:43:45,842 --> 00:43:47,298
Wow! Wild. Idea.
737
00:43:47,322 --> 00:43:49,458
You and I go back to my house,
have coffee
738
00:43:49,483 --> 00:43:51,699
and sexual intercourse.
I don't do tea-bagging,
739
00:43:51,722 --> 00:43:54,418
golden showers or reverse anal.
Everything else is up for grabs.
740
00:43:54,443 --> 00:43:57,298
What's reverse anal? Wouldn't that
just be regular, in the front door?
741
00:43:57,322 --> 00:43:59,179
No, that's what they want you to think.
742
00:43:59,202 --> 00:44:01,259
Hold that thought.
743
00:44:01,282 --> 00:44:02,739
Go for Diane Pemberley.
744
00:44:02,762 --> 00:44:04,659
Hello, it's Barbara. Who?
745
00:44:04,682 --> 00:44:07,699
There's people in the centre, I can
see their shadows moving about.
746
00:44:07,722 --> 00:44:09,298
Did you get a camera?
747
00:44:09,322 --> 00:44:12,179
Yes, I found one in the back of
the sideboard.
748
00:44:12,202 --> 00:44:14,659
Er, I'm not sure how well
it'll come out,
749
00:44:14,682 --> 00:44:18,139
mind, it's been in
the drawer since my Kenny died.
750
00:44:18,163 --> 00:44:19,298
God, I miss him!
751
00:44:19,322 --> 00:44:22,059
Right. Stay focused,
woman. Take pictures of everything,
752
00:44:22,083 --> 00:44:23,539
OK? I'm coming over.
753
00:44:23,563 --> 00:44:25,699
I need you to drop me off at
the community centre.
754
00:44:25,722 --> 00:44:28,179
There ARE people inside
looking suspicious.
755
00:44:28,202 --> 00:44:31,018
What about the coffee
and the sexual intercourse?
756
00:44:31,043 --> 00:44:33,179
That's off. Look,
if this turns into a stakeout,
757
00:44:33,202 --> 00:44:35,139
I might give you
a quick handjob, all right?
758
00:44:35,163 --> 00:44:37,563
No promises, though.
Come on. Let's go.
759
00:44:48,282 --> 00:44:50,963
Oh, shit.
I think we're being followed.
760
00:44:52,202 --> 00:44:54,818
By who?
You see that black Vauxhall?
761
00:44:54,842 --> 00:44:57,378
It was there when we left
Windmill Hill.
762
00:44:57,402 --> 00:44:58,898
What do we do?
763
00:44:58,922 --> 00:45:01,259
Um... Er...
764
00:45:01,282 --> 00:45:03,083
Just, um, take a left.
765
00:45:05,083 --> 00:45:07,163
And-and go right, go right.
766
00:45:18,762 --> 00:45:20,443
Fuck! Fuck!
767
00:45:21,922 --> 00:45:23,818
Can you see who it is?
768
00:45:23,842 --> 00:45:25,418
It's the police.
769
00:45:25,443 --> 00:45:26,882
Go.
770
00:45:30,123 --> 00:45:31,539
I just got a text from
Greg, saying,
771
00:45:31,563 --> 00:45:34,139
"Stop cooking crack,
Diane's on her way."
772
00:45:34,163 --> 00:45:35,882
Oh, shit!
773
00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:41,563
Sweet Little Mystery
by Wet Wet Wet
774
00:45:46,242 --> 00:45:48,563
Yeah, my own father. Sacked you?
775
00:45:51,282 --> 00:45:54,778
I had a mortgage,
kids' school fees, skiing,
776
00:45:54,802 --> 00:45:56,699
bollocks.
777
00:45:56,722 --> 00:46:01,659
You know, it's £800 a year
for horse riding insurance? £800.
778
00:46:01,682 --> 00:46:05,219
I mean, just don't crash
your horse, right? Mm.
779
00:46:05,242 --> 00:46:07,123
Doesn't your wife work?
780
00:46:08,443 --> 00:46:13,322
She makes and sells
vegan dog treats, so, no.
781
00:46:15,882 --> 00:46:19,099
What's funny?
782
00:46:19,123 --> 00:46:20,778
Vegan dog treats!
783
00:46:20,802 --> 00:46:23,139
You can have vegan dogs.
784
00:46:23,163 --> 00:46:27,123
I think I'm beginning
to understand your tale of woe.
785
00:46:45,882 --> 00:46:47,938
Hello?
Are you at the community centre?
786
00:46:47,963 --> 00:46:49,938
No. I had to pop out for a bit.
787
00:46:49,963 --> 00:46:52,418
Pop out? Why are you popping out?
788
00:46:52,443 --> 00:46:53,978
I've left John in charge.
789
00:46:54,003 --> 00:46:56,018
Well, he isn't answering his phone,
790
00:46:56,043 --> 00:46:59,498
and Diane is on her way there,
so you have to get everyone out!
791
00:46:59,523 --> 00:47:01,498
I'm busy. Why can't you?!
792
00:47:01,523 --> 00:47:03,338
I'm in a police car chase!
793
00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:06,298
What did you say?!
I don't think I heard you right!
794
00:47:06,322 --> 00:47:08,938
I bet you wish you had 5G.
795
00:47:08,963 --> 00:47:11,179
Hello? Hello?!
796
00:47:11,202 --> 00:47:13,858
Why are you driving so slowly?!
Have you heard of second gear?!
797
00:47:13,882 --> 00:47:16,259
A little kiddie might jump out.
Kiddie? It's night-time!
798
00:47:16,282 --> 00:47:18,523
You're doing about 8mph.
Speed kills.
799
00:47:20,563 --> 00:47:22,018
What are you doing?!
800
00:47:22,043 --> 00:47:24,498
Don't wave him on.
Don't let him overtake you!
801
00:47:24,523 --> 00:47:26,539
Well, you know,
I'm just feeling generous.
802
00:47:26,563 --> 00:47:28,378
Oh, my God!
803
00:47:28,402 --> 00:47:31,259
Subject drives like my nan. Well,
you know, there's a lot of idiots on
804
00:47:31,282 --> 00:47:33,579
the road at this time of night.
You've got to be careful.
805
00:47:33,603 --> 00:47:35,699
Yeah, idiots like you.
Number one over here.
806
00:47:35,722 --> 00:47:38,338
She's going faster than we are.
With her stupid little scooter.
807
00:47:38,362 --> 00:47:40,858
Yeah, well, but that's reckless,
isn't it? Absolutely reckless.
808
00:47:40,882 --> 00:47:43,659
It's not reckless. Go through,
we're coming up to the lights.
That's good.
809
00:47:43,682 --> 00:47:46,059
Right, amber, go through on
the amber, go through on the amber!
810
00:47:46,083 --> 00:47:49,778
Well, you shouldn't go through on
the amber. No, cos it might change
to red. You see, there you go.
811
00:47:49,802 --> 00:47:52,099
You've got to be careful.
Oh, my God.
812
00:47:52,123 --> 00:47:54,778
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
813
00:47:54,802 --> 00:47:56,659
What are you up to? What's going on?
814
00:47:56,682 --> 00:48:00,059
I'm commandeering this vehicle for
volunteer police purposes.
815
00:48:00,083 --> 00:48:02,938
It's Haines.
We're following a black Range Rover.
816
00:48:02,963 --> 00:48:06,018
Yeah, I need you to run a plate
for me, please.
817
00:48:06,043 --> 00:48:08,699
They still there?
818
00:48:08,722 --> 00:48:12,898
Yeah. OK. What am I doing?
Where am I going?
819
00:48:12,922 --> 00:48:15,298
Rani, what now? They're behind us!
820
00:48:15,322 --> 00:48:18,722
Calm down! I'm trying to think!
Go right, go right!
821
00:48:24,242 --> 00:48:25,978
We need to lose them. Fuck!
822
00:48:26,003 --> 00:48:29,259
The vehicle is leased to
a Christian Taylor.
823
00:48:29,282 --> 00:48:32,099
We need to overtake that lorry
there. Taylor's in prison.
824
00:48:32,123 --> 00:48:33,842
It's his car.
825
00:48:35,202 --> 00:48:37,163
Go, go, go!
826
00:48:42,003 --> 00:48:43,322
Wait for it.
827
00:48:46,083 --> 00:48:48,003
Now, pull off. Pull off!
828
00:48:58,443 --> 00:49:00,123
Where... where are they?
829
00:49:01,802 --> 00:49:04,523
Where are they? I can't see 'em.
830
00:49:06,682 --> 00:49:08,362
Shit!
831
00:49:11,202 --> 00:49:12,619
We have to find that Range.
832
00:49:12,643 --> 00:49:15,003
Whoever is driving that
is running Brook Hill.
833
00:49:29,643 --> 00:49:31,202
My heart's racing.
834
00:49:32,762 --> 00:49:35,603
That was incredible!
That was so cool!
835
00:49:37,842 --> 00:49:40,619
Wait, Rani, wait!
That weren't cool.
836
00:49:40,643 --> 00:49:44,898
Yeah, it was.
We totally out-foxed them. So cool.
837
00:49:44,922 --> 00:49:46,938
Wait, wait, wait, wait! Yeah?
838
00:49:46,963 --> 00:49:48,579
Does this stuff turn you on?
839
00:49:48,603 --> 00:49:50,179
What stuff?
840
00:49:50,202 --> 00:49:51,458
You know...
841
00:49:51,483 --> 00:49:54,003
..car chases, the drug deals,
the gang shit.
842
00:49:55,722 --> 00:49:57,778
No, of course not.
843
00:49:57,802 --> 00:49:59,298
It doesn't. Just...
844
00:49:59,322 --> 00:50:01,882
It must be my adrenaline pumping.
845
00:50:08,402 --> 00:50:10,043
We need to get rid of this car.
846
00:50:25,882 --> 00:50:28,003
What... is going on?!
847
00:50:29,362 --> 00:50:32,778
Myrns. I'm a crack ho.
848
00:50:32,802 --> 00:50:34,539
What?!
849
00:50:34,563 --> 00:50:36,338
Diane is coming!
850
00:50:36,362 --> 00:50:38,298
We need to get out of here!
851
00:50:38,322 --> 00:50:41,579
Diane is on her way here!
852
00:50:41,603 --> 00:50:44,298
We need to pack up
and get out of here now!
853
00:50:44,322 --> 00:50:47,242
We need to pack up
and get out of here! Come on, move!
854
00:50:53,402 --> 00:50:54,963
I'm coming, Dad.
855
00:51:11,362 --> 00:51:13,963
What have we got here, then?
856
00:51:15,282 --> 00:51:17,099
Light on at the side of
the building.
857
00:51:17,123 --> 00:51:18,898
Moving to investigate.
858
00:51:18,922 --> 00:51:22,659
Hmm. Gate is unlocked.
Note to self.
859
00:51:22,682 --> 00:51:24,938
Diane. What?
860
00:51:24,963 --> 00:51:27,059
I have to tell you something before
you go in there.
861
00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:29,378
Well, it'll have to wait.
No. It can't wait.
862
00:51:29,402 --> 00:51:32,219
I have to tell you it now.
The reason
863
00:51:32,242 --> 00:51:35,418
I was driving so slow earlier,
like your nan,
864
00:51:35,443 --> 00:51:37,298
is so that I could
865
00:51:37,322 --> 00:51:40,059
spend more time with you
866
00:51:40,083 --> 00:51:43,298
and enjoy your magical personality.
Yeah, makes sense.
867
00:51:43,322 --> 00:51:45,402
Yeah, but there's more.
868
00:51:47,882 --> 00:51:51,378
Diane Pemberley... I love you.
869
00:51:51,402 --> 00:51:53,682
Well, you're only human. Yeah!
870
00:52:03,362 --> 00:52:05,043
Ahh!
871
00:52:06,523 --> 00:52:08,123
God...!
872
00:52:09,282 --> 00:52:12,898
I had to incapacitate subject, as
his libido became inflamed by his
873
00:52:12,922 --> 00:52:14,938
smoking-hot date.
874
00:52:14,963 --> 00:52:17,378
Heading inside to
investigate further.
875
00:52:17,402 --> 00:52:19,563
What's in it?! What's in it?!
876
00:52:21,762 --> 00:52:23,282
I need a wet wipe!
877
00:52:25,643 --> 00:52:27,043
I am entering the premises.
878
00:52:56,922 --> 00:52:58,579
Diane?
879
00:52:58,603 --> 00:53:02,043
I can't drive you home,
cos I'm blind now.
880
00:53:08,003 --> 00:53:10,498
Christian is going to be so pissed.
881
00:53:10,523 --> 00:53:12,523
He only had six months
left on the lease.
882
00:53:21,682 --> 00:53:24,043
I'm going to get a tea,
do you want one?
883
00:53:26,123 --> 00:53:27,202
No.
884
00:53:41,882 --> 00:53:45,778
We swore we'd never be that couple
with nothing to say
885
00:53:45,802 --> 00:53:48,579
to each other. Remember?
886
00:53:48,603 --> 00:53:50,818
When we met,
887
00:53:50,842 --> 00:53:55,282
you taught ME the shuffle,
the backdrop.
888
00:53:56,443 --> 00:53:58,722
King and queen of the dance floor.
889
00:54:00,003 --> 00:54:01,963
We were a head-turning couple.
890
00:54:03,603 --> 00:54:05,458
Being busy is not
891
00:54:05,483 --> 00:54:08,659
the reason I didn't visit when you
got sick, Lou.
892
00:54:08,682 --> 00:54:12,643
It's cos I was in a pub,
getting high.
893
00:54:14,603 --> 00:54:16,219
Getting laid.
894
00:54:16,242 --> 00:54:17,858
Cos all of that was
895
00:54:17,882 --> 00:54:20,139
100 times easier than
facing you,
896
00:54:20,163 --> 00:54:22,378
cos facing you meant facing me,
897
00:54:22,402 --> 00:54:23,922
and I never could do that.
898
00:54:25,163 --> 00:54:29,762
I missed my chance
to say sorry... when it mattered.
899
00:54:33,682 --> 00:54:36,338
What the heck,
I'm going to say it now.
900
00:54:36,362 --> 00:54:38,139
Anyway, I'm sorry,
901
00:54:38,163 --> 00:54:42,259
I'm sorry you had
to put up with all the lies,
902
00:54:42,282 --> 00:54:45,322
then apologies, then more lies, and...
903
00:54:46,722 --> 00:54:49,259
..I'm sorry for the things I did
when I was here
904
00:54:49,282 --> 00:54:51,659
and the things I didn't do
when I wasn't.
905
00:54:51,682 --> 00:54:53,418
And I'm sorry I didn't get
906
00:54:53,443 --> 00:54:55,338
to know our little girl earlier.
907
00:54:55,362 --> 00:54:58,202
You raised a
helluva woman without me, Lou.
908
00:54:59,322 --> 00:55:02,523
You know, I don't have
a pot to piss in.
909
00:55:03,882 --> 00:55:05,219
All I got to show
910
00:55:05,242 --> 00:55:08,242
for my time on this Earth
is what I walked out on.
911
00:55:09,603 --> 00:55:12,802
So, let's us - you and me...
912
00:55:14,362 --> 00:55:16,202
..remember the good times.
913
00:55:19,282 --> 00:55:21,818
We were king...
914
00:55:21,842 --> 00:55:25,202
..queen of the dance floor.
915
00:55:26,483 --> 00:55:27,842
We were...
916
00:55:29,362 --> 00:55:30,842
..a head-turning couple.
917
00:56:08,882 --> 00:56:11,059
Excuse me.
918
00:56:11,083 --> 00:56:12,483
Shoes off at the door, yeah?
919
00:56:16,922 --> 00:56:19,579
Those are not my dad's slippers,
are they?
920
00:56:19,603 --> 00:56:21,259
No. They're mine.
921
00:56:21,282 --> 00:56:23,539
He let me keep 'em.
922
00:56:23,563 --> 00:56:25,498
You don't have to wear them, though.
923
00:56:25,523 --> 00:56:27,523
Yeah, well,
they're kind of snuggly.
924
00:56:29,802 --> 00:56:32,579
Erm, do you really want kids?
925
00:56:32,603 --> 00:56:35,139
Yeah, don't you?
926
00:56:35,163 --> 00:56:37,099
We never spoke about it.
927
00:56:37,123 --> 00:56:38,762
I think we'd make great parents.
928
00:56:46,842 --> 00:56:49,762
Get It 'Fore It's Gone
by Pokey LaFarge
929
00:57:09,282 --> 00:57:11,402
God!
930
00:57:28,882 --> 00:57:31,259
Ah, fuck it. Bedtime.
931
00:57:31,282 --> 00:57:33,523
I'm coming to bed!
70808
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