Original subtitles

LEONARD HO

JACKIE CHAN

WILLIE CHAN PLANNING: EDWARD TANG

In recognition of your great performance, the commissioner awards you an A medal.

Congratulations.

Great!

JIMMY LAW, LIM CHAN SCRIPTWRITERS: ABE KWONG, LEE MAN-CHOI

OLIVER WONG CINEMATOGRAPHER: CHEUNG YIU-CHO

NOEL QUINLAN EDITOR: PETER CHEUNG

JACKIE CHAN'S STUNT TEAM

WELLSON CHIN

The previous so-called instructor said,

the mission of the SKIRTS unit does not include meeting men.

She forbade us from wearing makeup. She's a fool!

I'm now the instructor.

Let me tell you,

the reason SKIRTS exists is to do what SDU cannot.

Including beguiling men.

The whole reason our unit is termed SKIRTS is

because we all look great in short skirts.

Look at your horsey face. Your legs aren't good enough to wear shorts!

Forget about beguiling men, you couldn't even attract a ghost!

Where's your makeup?

Don't want to put on makeup? I'll do it for you!

- Hey, your chick! - She wishes!

One, two, three, four.

Got caught by me, didn't you? You're in trouble. You were slow!

Is that a criminal offence? Take me to the executioner!

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Let me go!

Let me go!

No!

- No! - I'm going to blow you up!

You missed!

No way!

I don't believe I can't hit the target this time!

No! You mustn't!

I'm sure as hell not going to miss this time!

You were tied. How could this happen?

Because I have many hands!

Slap!

- Slap your cheeks! - Stop hitting me!

Get changed and go!

Should I go first or change first?

Look. They're already sweating from their running.

- Why are you still not fully awake? - I couldn't sleep last night!

- Insomnia is a very good excuse, no? - lt is.

But whether or not it's a legit answer, it breaks our code of conduct.

Take those sandbags...

over there where the scoreboard is.

- No way... - It's a surefire cure for insomnia.

Also, we will have new members joining SKIRTS today.

They're new and unfamiliar.

I hope you will all help them adapt to our training style.

Keep jogging.

How are we supposed to help the new people?

You could probably start by bullying them less.

Well, we were all new once...

Therefore, we should not bully the new girls.

Wrong. What I meant to say is,

that we finally have the chance to haze someone else!

Hey, better get started on those sandbags. Don't you want some sleep tonight?

- Get a move on! - Good luck!

Have fun!

Your fault for being sleepy. Grin and bear it!

Your fault for being sleepy. Grin and bear it!

I shall grin and bear it!

Stop the car!

Hey, let's go that way.

- Sure. - Let's go.

Hey, excuse me, Auntie--

Do I look like an auntie to you?!

- The platonic ideal. - What?!

- What's happening? - Nothing, just looking for Instructor Wu.

I'm their instructor. You can call me Madam.

But you must stand strict when you address me.

- Introduce yourselves! - Phoebe!

- Ping! - Jo!

I'm... Susanna.

Why do you want to join the SKIRTS?

High salary, great benefits.

No bonuses though.

If that's all you're after, why not be a whore?

Serving the community, keeping the peace.

Risking your life for a meagre salary... you're either lying or an idiot.

Keeping the peace...

Upholding righteousness, eradicating evil, executing the law,

helping the weak... For justice and world peace...

Quite a job description for that salary.

You're really...

stupid!

Training begins now. Move these sandbags over there.

Hey, hurry up. What are you doing?

Hey, great delegating.

Of course! I use my brain.

- I'm exhausted. - Me, too.

- Amy, that's enough. - Got it. I know what I'm doing.

They look pitiful. Stop.

I think something's off...

Whatever, we've moved them all.

Madam, why would training start before we put down our luggage?

- Madam, why-- - Because she's not Madam.

- Madam, we're-—- - | Know.

Have you finished moving all the sandbags?

I moved them all!

Didn't expect it to be done so quickly.

And now you can move them all to their original position.

Old girls are dismissed. New girls, come to my office.

Hey, do you think they'll prank us again?

Scared?

If they're going to prank us, I'm going to prank them.

- Go on. What's there to be afraid of? - Goon.

Hey, get me one too.

- Okay. - Thanks.

Hey, which beds are ours?

I guess any bed we want, then.

- This bed's not bad? - Yeah, not bad.

Hey, that's my bed!

I's yours? So which one is mine?

How should I know?

Stop fussing, your beds are there. All four in a row are yours.

Why didn't you speak up earlier? Trying to pick a fight? Idiot.

- How can they be so rude? - Forget it. Don't fuss.

Hey, is there a hammer? | want to hang up my medals.

Is that really worth hanging?

Runner-up at the third women's karate open championships.

- Is that worth hanging up? - Runner-up of women's championships?

Runner-up is beyond me, of course.

I've run out of room to hang up my taekwondo champion medal.

Amy, are you all right?

I'm fine... | guess...

So pitiful.

Do you need help getting to your bed?

No... I'll be fine after some shut-eye.

Hey, the new girls are cold.

Empty.

- Hey! - You don't mind, do you?

I don't mind sharing, but that's my medication.

It's bitter!

Hey, where's your shampoo, conditioner, and face cream?

In the drawer, help yourself.

Hey, did you pack this? Need to borrow a pair?

No need.

You're way too small.

Ladies and ladies, allow me to say a few words, okay?

New or old, we're all SKIRTS. Since we became teammates by fate,

we should get along and work as a team. Do you agree?

Amy’s right!

Hey, don't lie down yet. It might be booby-trapped.

- What should we do? - What kind of trap?

Let me check for you, okay?

This one's safe.

This one's fine also!

Maybe it's that one.

They're all fine!

It must be that one, then!

- Hey, it's okay. - Maybe I was just too sensitive.

They didn't set traps on us. We're okay.

But no matter what, we're grateful for your attention.

- Thank you! - Not at all.

we’ll be fine.

That one, please.

Don't cross the yellow line. Back this way.

Sorry.

- You're new? - Yes.

- Today's great. - Hey.

Hey, do you mind if I go in front of you?

Not at all, go ahead.

Hey! For real? Cutting in line?

What's it to you? She's cutting in front of me, not you.

Do you mind if I go in front of you?

- Whatever. - I guess not...

Do you mind if we go in front of you?

I most certainly do not mind.

Are you kidding me? So many of you!

What's it to you? She's cutting in front of me, not you.

Hey, please don't cross the yellow line.

PLEASE STAY BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE

Someone messed up!

They don't even know the basic rules of the mess hall.

For real? Beat her up!

I'll beat the shit out of whoever touches me!

A threat? I'm not scared. If you've got guts, let's fight!

May, let it go. Madam told us to help the new girls out.

Let's go easy on her?

Go easy on her? What if she thinks we're scared of her?

Hey, you're all on the same team. Why are you fighting? Come and get lunch.

Thanks.

- More. - We've no pork cutlets.

Go easy on her... Now we've got no food left.

No need to get nervous. I came prepared.

What's that?

Curry lamb chop.

I asked the Gurkha chef to specially make it for you.

Amazing! Thanks.

Hey, looks yummy.

I don't eat lamb. I don't like that smell.

Alright. I'll think of something. Just eat first.

- No way. - Have a try.

Will they dare sit with us?

Hey... should we sit down?

Afraid they'd bite? Sit down!

If you're afraid, eat standing. Let's go.

Come on.

Eat up.

We're on the same team! Don't be like that!

I only wanted the ketchup.

- Compliments of the chef. Enjoy. - Thanks!

Fermented Bean curd! My favourite!

My favourite also!

I'm on a diet. One is enough for me.

This one's mine.

It's yours if you want it.

Still want to 'go easy on them'?

Are you on a white rice-only diet?

If you hit my friend, you hit--

- Let's help. - Don't bully them with more. Watch first.

Here.

- Are you okay? - I'm fine.

Fine?!

Go to hell!

Don't move...

You don't move!

It hurts! How dare you...

Go to hell!

Go to hell!

- Let's agree not to. Don't fight. - Don't move.

That wasn't my fault!

That wasn't my fault either!

- Let's not move, all right? - Don't move!

Hey, Madam's coming!

Hey, Madam's coming!

Madam's coming!

Let's call it a day.

You're covered in food. How do you eat?

I eat like this.

Just like that.

Lam, why is your nose bleeding?

Did someone hit you?

If someone hits you, you can file a complaint.

If anyone starts a fight in the mess hall, they will be expelled.

No one hit me. Maybe it's just been dry lately.

Amy, why are your gums bleeding?

My... teeth are bleeding!

Yeah, the rice is too hard...

Look, she's chewing so hard, her nose and gums are bleeding.

This rice is hard? Then you two better eat porridge from now on.

Why is this place a mess?

Don't you know the rules of the mess hall?

Wasting food is against the rule of discipline.

You must not waste food. You must finish every last grain of rice.

Now finish everything on your plate.

Fire!

Fire!

It's shit!

What? Shit?!

Now what? I'm covered in shit!

I'm also covered in shit!

Get changed first.

No need to be ashamed of yourselves. Be more generous.

What's she doing?

- Showing off? - Impressive! Real or fake?

- Who knows? - They're natural.

Don't be jealous. It's a very big burden.

No one is jealous.

I understand how you feel.

If the papayas next door are bigger than your own,

it wouldn't seem fair?

Are your boobs really bigger than May's used to be?

Yeah. May used to be Queen of the Beach.

With a body like that? How could she compete?

Amy's weren't anything to laugh at either.

Yeah, in school, they called me Big Boobs, Brainless Bimbo.

Why are you so... flat now, then?

It's because of this thing...

Wearing a bulletproof vest would affect your boobs?

Yeah! You don't believe me? Let me show you. Come on!

Look.

You don't believe us? You can look at the others.

- Flat. They're all flat! - You've just made me flat!

You see? You'll be flat like us someday.

The SKIRTS unit has been established for some time now.

Now it's time to test your abilities.

Our superiors care greatly about this mission.

They've sent us a counter-terrorist specialist.

Inspector Lo is here to evaluate this training session.

Just here to see if you live up to your reputation.

The results of this evaluation will directly impact the future of SKIRTS.

So your performance is very important.

Other than completing the mission successfully,

you must also limit injuries and fatalities.

You must follow safety precautions.

Are you naturally bulletproof?

- Why aren't you wearing your vest? - I am, sir.

I suspect you're lying. Take off your shirt.

Do you hear me?!

Didn't expect Miss HK and SKIRTS to share two things: beauty and intelligence.

Bulletproof vests are to protect your most important assets.

Are you saying they don't need protection?

I think they're very important and need protection...

which is why I did this.

I don't want to end up flat-chested like them!

- Idiot! - Madam... now what?

If you figured out how to cut through your vest,

you surely have a way to protect your great figure.

Let's go.

Come on!

Be careful.

Don't shoot!

We'd be in trouble if we shot them. Let's go.

Go!

Not bad, right?

Not bad.

Three officers, and only one death. Much better odds than I thought.

Hey, Inspector Lo,

even though Ping was shot, she's wearing a bulletproof vest.

You can't count her as a fatality.

But Susanna was shot so many times, that it could have killed ten people.

You'd die for a good figure? What's the point if you're dead?

Let it go. Let's see how the other team does.

Let's go.

- Not bad! - It's the least we can ask for.

They do meet the minimum requirements.

But then these cardboard cutouts are dead steady.

In real life, criminals would not stand around waiting to be shot.

If they weren’t training with cardboard, I'm sure the results would be different.

Inspector Lo, you want a pretend criminal to test them?

Not just anyone. I'll test them myself.

You?

Okay.

- Supt Tung, let's do it together. - Me?

Let's go.

Team three!

Hey!

Stop! Take a look.

The dead cannot be revived. Forget it. Let's go.

That way!

Very good!

What exactly did you mean by 'very good'?

The girls did very good, no? Just take a look at us.

Damn, what should I do about these two holes?

- How can I even mend them? - Easy.

Go to any random electronics store

and buy two satellite dishes.

- It'll be a perfect fit. - Great idea!

- Good idea, Amy! - What's so funny?

Madam is perverse!

We should forgive Madam.

She's not young, and still single. It must suck to be her.

- Hey, are you also insulting me? - Of course not!

It's easy to live without men. I can give her a couple of mine.

- Brown-noser. - What did you say?

This isn't called brown-nosing, it's called pimping.

You want a fight?

Don't be like this! We're all just trying to help Madam.

Let's introduce some boys to her, then.

Hey, stop talking about Madam as if she's the last can of soup on the shelf.

You're in trouble! You leaked SKIRTS' biggest secret!

Who said no one wants her? Inspector Kan is totally smitten.

And Inspector Lo looks at her with those big doe eyes!

Then let's give them a chance to fight over her.

- Hey, let''s ask them to fight. - You're crazy!

No! I say we should have a party and invite the SDU team!

We need to give the boys a chance too, right?

Great idea!

Hey, SKIRTS is throwing Madam Wu a birthday party.

You have to go.

No matter how busy you are, you have to go, got it?

There aren't enough boys. You can go too.

Full of crap.

Hey, please go if you really, really have

nothing else to do.

Not my doing. I just read you what's on my clipboard.

Are they kidding? They only invited me because there aren't enough boys?

That was really just too hurtful!

Why are you crying, stupid? It's not life and death.

SKIRTS is hosting a birthday party for Madam Wu tomorrow.

It wouldn't be fun without you.

Did you hear that? Wouldn't be fun without me!

Wait! That was for you!

Me? Not you! So it wouldn't be fun without me!

Hey, look for my name.

Your name isn't on this.

Go through the file again.

How strange...

The girls did say that any man is invited, no matter who he is.

That means he's not a man.

Or at least not in their books!

Makes sense.

Still crying? Eat up!

- Hey, should we go? - Of course!

We've been fasting for so long, and now it's a buffet of girls.

- There's no reason not to go. - Yeah, even for the atmosphere.

Yeah, getting a feel for it would be good.

Just take a look at you losers. Can you show some male pride?

They’re objectifying us, don't you get it? There’s no way I'm going!

What about your Amy?

Don't bring up that fat, ugly, and wrinkly woman.

Nan, someone's looking for you.

What do you want from me?

BROTHER NAN

I came to personally invite you to the party.

Can't promise anything. I'll come if I can find the time...

See you then.

Don't forget to wear your Dress Whites.

Got it! Get out of here!

Hey, I don't think we should go, because of the bigger picture.

Let's not be so petty.

I've thought about it. We should celebrate Madam, right?

- Agreed. - Hey, what about all our male pride?

Male pride only exists when standing next to women.

But the women are objectifying us.

- Right, exactly. - Who cares?

Let's not be so nitpicky with little girls, yeah?

Eat up!

All right, then.

Hey, don't forget to wear Dress Whites!

Yes!

Your memorable white shirt and trousers--

Inspector Kan, why are they doing push-ups every time we see them?

You don't know?

Push-ups train their stamina, core, and arms.

And, of course, teamwork.

You don't believe me?

Nan, come up.

Tell Inspector Lo what the benefits are of push-ups.

Inspector Kan said push-ups are great for you-know-what.

- What do I know? - You know!

I find your moral standards very problematic.

- Go to hell! Watch your mouth. - Hit me again??!

Why didn't you say what you were supposed to?

Nine hundred and ninety-seven.

- Nine hundred and ninety-eight... - Inspector Kan.

Madam, you're looking for me? Let me finish first.

Nine hundred and ninety-nine... 1,000.

Madam, I feel uneasy if I do any less than 1,000 a day.

- Just a habit now. - Have you seen Inspector Lo?

He's in the upstairs gym.

Let's go up and see what's happening.

Thirty-seven, 38, 39.

Hey, forget about push-ups. Let's do something else.

- Madam, looking for me? - Yes.

My girls are hosting a birthday party for me tomorrow.

- I wanted to invite you two. - Really?

Yes.

- I'll definitely be at your birthday! - Thanks.

Kiss her, Inspector Kan.

What about you, Inspector Kan?

- Are you busy?

Don't go out of your way, Inspector. Madam will have fun either way.

Of course I'm free!

Kiss her!

What are you waiting for? Kiss her!

Madam, I'd like to--

What are you doing? Do you have a cold sore or something?

Cold sore? No.

Then you shouldn't get too close to Madam.

- How about I see you tomorrow, okay? - Sure.

Madam, just let me know if you need any help tomorrow.

A failure, an absolute failure.

A complete failure.

A failure, an absolute failure.

Hey, who is the prettiest SKIRT?

They're all pretty run-of-the-mill.

If they were pretty, they'd compete for Miss HK.

No, I think they're all quite pretty.

You're all early.

Their eyeballs are falling from their sockets.

I should have worn less!

I'm not sure that would help.

Inspector Lo!

Thank you. Have fun tonight.

- Go get some food. - Okay!

- Madam looks gorgeous tonight! - Hey, where's Inspector Kan?

- Well? Great suit, no? - Nothing!

Terrific!

Inspector Kan, that is quite a special suit.

Isn't it? I wore it especially to match Madam.

- Do you think I'm so outdated? - Not at all.

You're the person I respect the most, so I put on my most formal attire.

In that case, thanks.

Madam, let's get something to eat.

Sure, I'm peckish.

I'm sure! You get something to eat. I'm hungry too.

Go along with them! Or you'll be sleeping alone tonight!

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

Inspector Kan.

- A failure. .. - It’s truly not a fair fight.

Whoever marries this woman must have really bad karma.

She'll bankrupt you with her appetite.

To marry a woman that stupid, you'd have to have really bad karma.

Is that enough?

I's enough. I don't eat a lot.

Hey! That means she's quite affordable! You get what I'm saying!

I'm sorry I royally trashed you in that tournament.

You understand I had to, right?

That's fine. I like how responsible you are.

Eat up.

Hey, you're leering so hard, your eyeballs are about to fall out!

That''s what you think! I hate women like that!

Always trying to lead us down a path of sin.

- Probably perfect for Wah! - Not at all!

I don't need a pretty girl.

I'm after inner beauty.

- Am I right? - Right, wife material!

Yeah!

Doesn't matter how pretty she is now. What about in her 40s or 50s?

- Right? - Yeah.

She's wasted as a SKIRT. They should send her to Ethiopia.

- Why? - Lots of hungry orphans there!

First come, first served!

- For real? - Get out of here!

- Would you like to dance? - Sure!

Madam, let's dance.

Great job, Inspector Kan!

Inspector Kan, that was embarrassing, but an improvement. Keep it up!

- Let''s do a slow dance. - Sure.

I'm so warm from all that dancing.

Of course you're warm. Have a drink.

Amy, do you want to dance?

I'd love that.

Then why are you still sitting here?

Hey, what are you having?

- Didn't you ask me to dance? - Yes, why are you still standing here?

Well, what about you?

Good point! Let's dance!

- Let''s go together. - Let's dance.

Pardon me.

Let's start over.

Hey, my turn!

Go to hell!

Hey!

I'm no good...

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Make a wish. - Sure.

Inspector Kan, I didn't let you down?

You little shit...

It's truly a happy day, no?

There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time.

It has quite a simple sentence structure, featuring only three words.

But its meaning is significant.

To a man with a good career,

stable finances, and mature character,

to a woman more pure and beautiful than a bouquet of flowers--

- So lame, how can you say it out loud? - I told you it was lame, you insisted.

- Forget saying anything, write a letter. - I already wrote one.

Carrier pigeon! That's old school indeed!

- Why don't I just take it to her for you? - Thanks, courier boy.

Hey, one more thing.

This will affect my lifelong happiness,

Madam Wu's pure-as-ice reputation, and the future of the SDU team.

You must be secretive.

If you let the boys know, I'd be so embarrassed.

Relax, I won't say a word! But I don't know about anyone else.

I's not my fault!

- I won't say anything! - I won't either!

Your laces are undone.

Who gives a shit? This is more important!

Madam, a coincidence! Here for a shower?

Yes. And you?

- To peep on my girls? - Yeah-- No! Just passing by.

Passing by? Then pass by with me!

Just now, outside the shower,

I spotted Nan, a heroic member of the SDU team.

He said he was taking a peep as he passed by.

If you want to look, why aren't you looking now?

I order you to open wide your eyes. Look!

I'll die if I look or disobey. I better look!

- Inspector Kan. - Please, come in.

Make yourself at home.

I'll make you a cup of tea.

Inspector Kan, I'm visiting at this hour for a specific reason.

Could it be something to do with what Nan did?

- So you already know? - Of course I know.

I asked him to do it.

You asked him to do it? Why?

- Well, I really wanted to do it myself. - You really wanted to do it yourself?

Yeah.

But I thought it wouldn't be proper if someone saw me.

So I... asked Nan... to...

You didn't think it would be proper, so you asked Nan?

I know that there's a sneaky quality to doing it this way...

But I thought if you understood my intentions, you wouldn't mind.

What are your intentions?

From the very first day, you entered the training grounds...

I've been wanting to see you every night,

but I didn't dare...

so I've just been secretly taking pictures of you.

- What?! Pictures? - Yeah!

- What did you photograph? - Your whole body.

Some mid-shots, some of your back,

and lots of close-ups too, if you want to see them.

No!

I'm not a bad photographer. Great angles, and a real top-notch camera.

Every strand of your hair can be seen very clearly.

- Just take a look. - No need!

Tell me, what do you want with all those photos of me?

Nothing...

I look at your pictures every night... and fantasize about being with you--

Despicable!

How is this despicable?

- Come with me. - All right.

What's the occasion?

- Look. - Nan?

Inspector Kan...

- What-- Why-- - Peeped on the girls during shower time.

What?

Since you like watching people shower, experience the violation first-hand now.

Bathe already!

You always shower like that?

The air is...

clean and welcoming.

The warmth of the sun is boundless in its beauty...

Gross!

Don’t look if it's gross!

- Is he pre-pubescent? - Childish.

Better than nothing at all.

Outrageous! Be disrespectful by peeping on girls showering?

I'd say the one who told him to do it is worse.

- Even more outrageous. - There's a mastermind behind this?

Listen, this not only affects the reputation of our SDU team

but also seriously damages the culture of this camp.

To avoid a re-occurrence,

I think...

I will expel Nan.

Inspector Kan, don't expel me! Forgive me!

I's not me you were peeping on. Who am I to forgive you?

Right, you're the victims here, you decide whether to expel him.

Honestly, if he peeped on you, I'd send him home right away.

Nothing, I didn't say anything.

Hey, help a girl out.

Expulsion is a bit extreme.

As long as he promises not to tell anyone what he saw here tonight.

But you can't say you didn't see anything.

A healthy, red-blooded young man,

because of his curiosity regarding the other sex,

he peeped at girls in the shower. This isn't so shocking.

Yes, especially when there are beautiful figures in the mix.

Of course he's curious.

All right, what about this?

Raise your hand if you think this isn't a big deal.

Raise your hand if you think I should expel Nan.

That means you're guilty as charged,

but not unforgivable.

How about this:

push-ups till sunrise. No leave for one year.

- Madam, is that all right with you? - And the one who told him to do this?

- Nan, who told you to do this? Now! - It was you, Inspector Kan...

What?!

Brat! Make up something to frame me?

Inspector Kan, you told me to bring the love letter to Madam Wu,

so... the showers were just on the way...

Inspector Kan wrote Madam a love letter!

Today's mixed training is to test the ability of SDU and SKIRTS

to work together despite the physical imbalance.

This will be a point of reference for future missions.

You must work to your advantage during training.

Understand?

Anything to add?

SDU team, listen up.

The aim of this exercise is not to prove how much better you are than the girls.

I just hope that you can work with SKIRTS and help them do this exercise. Clear?

Let's not let down Inspector Kan''s good intentions.

If the outcome of the competition is not at stake,

please give the men the chance to act out their patriarchal fantasies and help you.

Very good. Let's begin.

- Hey, keep your hands to yourself later. - Yeah!

Right, be careful out there. Don't worry, I'll watch out for you.

Not you! Her!

I'll keep an eye on you!

What?

Go to hell!

- Don't touch her okay? - Yeah!

Go to hell!

Why were you so careless? Go again.

Hey, move it!

- Hey, hurry up! - Be careful and slow down. I'll hold you.

Go to hell!

Quite messy, no?

- Step on me? Go to hell! - Hey!

Still screaming? Move it!

That scared me to death!

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Get up faster!

- Hurry up! Drag her! - Help her out!

Hurry up!

Great!

- Wah! We won! - Yay!

You've got quite the sportsmanship. Why are you so happy to be the loser?

- We lost? - Yes.

You're quicker, but I've said it upfront: the point of this exercise was teamwork.

You neither helped nor held each other back.

- They were much more collaborative. - Yay!

We won!

There's nothing to celebrate. You won because they performed poorly.

No. I think both teams did quite well.

Then your standards are low.

I also find their performance lacklustre.

The biggest problem is that the SDU team has no sense of teamwork

and aren't good team players.

Inspector Lo, we have no issues whatsoever when going solo.

I think maybe because men are so physically superior to women,

it''s only when we train together that we run into problems.

What you're trying to say is, that SKIRTS is holding you back?

I dare not say 'holding back', just not as good.

Don't forget we won the freestyle match last time.

You think you really won last time?

We just thought it was shameful to beat up little girls. We let you win.

All right, let's fight one more time and determine the winner.

What? Another fight? No way.

Inspector Kan, are you afraid?

- I'm not afraid. - It's settled.

A perfect chance to see the hand-to-hand skills of both sides.

So it’s a plan.

Harder!

Harder still!

Put your back into it!

You must be tired, take a break.

- For your sweat. - Thanks.

Have some water.

If we're matched tomorrow, will you hold back?

Don't worry, I'll be reasonable.

Fung!

Hey, Inspector Kan is urgently calling everyone, c'mon!

Get a good night's rest tonight!

I've finally found him.

Amazing.

Amazing your arse.

Listen up. You can divide a woman into three parts:

up top is her head.

Her head houses her brain. If it's attacked, she'll faint.

- The middle... - Boobs!

houses her heart.

If her heart is attacked, it will stop pumping blood.

And then downwards.

This is her abdomen.

Her abdomen is supported by her pelvic and thigh bones.

She'll fall if attacked there.

These are women's Three Vulnerabilities.

- Can I help you? - I want to speak to you about something.

- Maybe, after your class? - No, not necessary.

Right, stay put, guys, I'll be right back.

Inspector Kan, I'd like to apologise. I'm sorry, don’t be mad at me.

Mad at you? I'm incapable of being mad at you.

You're not mad at me? So you're not a petty person!

That's really good.

But I know I shouldn't challenge you to a fight again.

You let us win last time.

I just love to win.

- So let's cancel tomorrow's competition. - No need to cancel.

Everyone knows women are weaker than men.

Tomorrow, they can experience what it's like to be beaten by a man.

- I don't think it's necessary. - Of course it is!

Don't you know there are many ignorant men in the world

who beat up women and are proud of it?

Statistically, the girls will meet bad men.

I's good for them to have some mental preparation.

After all that you've said, I'm almost mad I'm a man.

Of course you're not like those bad men.

But you can't deny that there are bad men in the world.

Yes, lots of bad men in the world.

All right, I know what to do tomorrow.

You mustn't ask your boys to pull any punches.

I want my girls to have a very clear idea of what male violence feels like.

I won't take up any more of your time.

Stop touching her Three Vulnerabilities.

Hey, Kan's coming!

I'd like to elaborate on my topic of Three Vulnerabilities.

Her head is also the home of her face.

IT it's damaged, she’ll lose her looks.

In which case, her future and happiness will be no more.

In the middle, what you call her 'boobs'.

This is the primordial food source of human beings.

If they are injured, babies will starve.

If her pelvis is injured, it may lead to infertility.

Which is to say, if her mother, your mother, and my mother,

if everyone's mum's pelvis was injured,

then we would never have made it to this world.

Yeah.

Now that you recognise the importance of these three points to a woman,

what is our conclusion?

Is it, 'Don't hit women'?

Exactly.

What about self-important women?

It is now clear to me that the most self-important people are men.

Class dismissed.

Are you for real?

Listen. Under no circumstances are we to win today's competition.

Am I clear?

You must try your best and not pull any punches.

Understand?

Today's match is best of two out of three.

The competition begins, please put forward your representatives.

I believe in democracy.

- Who wants to volunteer? - Me!

Inspector Kan,

I hope you will give me this chance to redeem myself,

to endure this physical suffering.

Sure.

Pervert!

You're our weakest link. Let''s see how they fight.

Madam, you're not sending me to fight?

In sending you, we wouldn't be serving them a beating,

but more a temptation to test them.

Madam, I hope you send me to Kill the pervert and save the villagers!

Sure.

Hey, what are you doing? Go and redeem yourself.

Wait up!

I'd like to complain about her rage-filled gaze.

Go to hell!

Get up!

Great, you're doing great.

Come on!

Go to hell!

Go to hell!

You wanna castrate me?!

If they're not mine, let's remove them!

Go to hell!

Go to hell!

Hey, what are you doing? Did she kill your father?

Did you forget what I said?

Hey!

Go to hell!

All right, separate.

Hey, separate!

Right, this round's a draw.

For real?! A draw after I beat her like that?

Draw unaccepted! Fight to the death!

Hey!

Who's the referee here? Get back in line!

Can you accept a draw there?

I think a draw is perfectly acceptable in this round.

- But it depends on what Madam thinks. - Let's just fight another match.

- What a bitch! - Yeah!

How dare you! You disobeyed direct orders! You almost ruined everything.

Big Wong.

- Me? - Yeah, you.

You can take a beating, and that's the plan here.

- Really me? - Yeah, go on.

Conserve your energy. Aim with focus.

Perfect, you're doing great.

Stand still.

SKIRTS win.

Inspector Kan, was that what you wanted?

I told you to lose, I didn't tell you to lose your pride.

Inspector Kan, this isn't a fair fight. They're ruthless.

- Great job. - As they should.

Madam, don't you think your girls are overdoing it?

Not at all. What do you think, Inspector Lo?

Call this overdoing it? Inspector Kan, why did you choose such weak students?

They're only aiming for the most vulnerable parts of the body.

In that case, Madam, please tell your girls to pay more attention

and only hit the boys on their buttocks or thighs. So that they won't be in pain.

Sure, I'll try. But it can be difficult to control punches in the heat of a fight.

This tournament is only general training. Win or lose isn't so important.

Who wins and who loses has never been important for the loser.

So you think they've already won?

I just know there is no way you'll win today.

Madam, is that what you think?

Not at all, I just told them to try their best.

Right, I must have forgotten to tell them to try their best.

So you haven't tried your best?

That's not right.

Yeah.

My mistake. I know what to do.

Fung.

Lam, you're up.

Madam, Lam isn't a match for Fung.

Are you?

Lam, you're confident, aren't you?

Inspector Kan, I can't be so ruthless.

Kill her!

I can't.

What's up? Hit him!

- Hit him! - Hit her!

Go easy on me!

Start!

Sorry.

- I told you to take it easy on me! - I did!

Sorry!

I don't want to do this!

- Let go! - I really like you!

- He's really going for it... - Yeah, it's a bit much.

It's a bit much...

You said you'd be reasonable! Look what you've done to me!

By reasonable, I meant that I keep private and professional affairs separate.

Sorry, I really don't wanna do this!

Hey, Fung.

Winning is enough, you don't actually have to kill her.

You were kidding? Why didn't you say so earlier?

Whatever, just kill her, then.

- Are you all right? - Outrageous!

I don't want this either!

SKIRTS win.

- Hey, are you all right? - I'm fine.

Come on.

- Inspector Kan... - Yeah, I know.

- Congratulations, Madam Wu. - Thanks very much.

Inspector Kan, what bad luck, you've lost to the girls again.

God did not make Man and Woman for us to compete against each other.

Inspector, seems you're never happy with the outcome of these competitions.

No, I'm only unhappy with myself.

So what are you unhappy about?

A specific part of my body. It's never hard when I want it to be.

What are you on about?

I'm talking about my heart.

We can all see the SDU team's performance; it's simply impossible to be satisfied.

What he's trying to say is, that his teaching is incompetent.

Hey, Inspector Lo, that's enough.

Are you trying to say you'd be a better teacher?

Well, there's no way I'd be worse than you.

All right, let's have a match and see who's the better fighter.

Well?

I don't think that''s necessary. I wouldn't want you to get hurt.

Damn you! Fight me if you're a man!

I don't mind, if you insist.

Prepare yourself. Don't regret this.

Inspector Kan, you really want to fight Inspector Lo?

Inspector Kan, don't commit suicide.

You really think I'll lose?

That you'll die.

- Thanks, Madam. - Not at all.

To the death, then. What's the point of living if I forfeit?

Inspector Kan, get up! Fight him!

Inspector Kan!

Get up!

Inspector Kan, get up.

Great!

Inspector Kan, are you all right? Get up!

Inspector Kan! Are you all right? Get up!

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

I've finally won.

Yay!

Inspector Kan! Jackpot!

Yay!

- They just passed us. - Ready?

So good to see you! Get in!

Inspector Lo, are you sure Golden Tiger is hiding out on that island?

One of Golden Tiger's buttons is a micro-tracking device.

And, according to our equipment, they're here.

What are they doing here?

They're waiting for a boat to get them out of HK.

Who was it that got them out?

This crew is led by his older brother, Golden Lion.

They're an international terrorist organisation.

That jewellery heist was to fund their terrorist activities.

I don't get your unit. The more you do, the more terrifying they get.

- This was an accident. - Accident? What accident?

We knew Golden Tiger had such a plan, hence I've been observing your training.

I had hoped we could lure Golden Lion out of hiding and capture them together.

- I didn't know they'd act earlier. - Fine. You could've just been upfront.

You could say you got yourself into a pickle and need our help.

The island is surrounded by our speedboats. They won't get away.

We will split into three teams.

Each of us will lead a team to one side of the island and reunite.

Great, I'll be with Madam.

No, you'll lead a unit going straight ahead.

You'll go to the highest point and cover us.

Why can't we be on the same team?

We're splitting into three teams. We can’t let them slip through.

Fine.

- Take care of yourself. - You better take care of yourself.

Hold it. We're going that way.

Inspector Kan, that's downhill. I thought we were going uphill.

Think I can't tell uphill from downhill? I said that way!

- Our mission is to spot both sides. - And we're spotting Madam.

Isn't it dangerous if no one's spotting Lo?

You care about him?

If Lo gets into trouble, Fung's chick will be in trouble.

Do you think Inspector Lo can protect those around him?

Yes!

Great, then you have nothing to worry about.

Do you think Madam can protect herself and those around her?

- No way! - Inspector Kan, let's go down!

- We need to hurry down! - Come on!

Don't go! Don't give chase!

Watch out!

Don't move!

Friendlies.

- Inspector Kan, what are you doing here? - Protecting you.

You're meant to be in the middle to spot both sides. What about Lo?

Even you're worried about Lo.

How could I rest easy knowing you've got no one to rely on?

They agreed I should come down.

Inspector Kan, we're obligated to obey your orders.

You brat, spewing nonsense. No loyalty.

- Inspector Lo, are you okay? - He's gone missing!

SKIRTS, SDU, listen up!

I have captured your leader, Mr Lo.

You mustn't hurt him.

Only if you agree to my terms... or he's dead for sure!

Unless you give proof of life, there's nothing to discuss.

Sure. See you at the metal bridge in 15 minutes.

Maybe their hideout is close by.

What's up, cop?

I'm warning you. You're completely surrounded.

Anything fishy, and I'm killing the hostage.

Don't worry! I'm very well-behaved. Where's our man?

Inspector Lo! Are you all right?

I'm fine! Abandon me!

Listen up! If you don't let him go, I'll kill you and all you care about!

We can let him go... if you give up on your mission to arrest us.

Sure, why not? We'll see who waits the longest.

And we want a fully fuel led speedboat on the northern beach within half an hour.

Thirty minutes? That's not a lot of time!

Let's level, if we can't find a speedboat, what about a sanpan?

Let's be clear, this is a rescue mission for us.

If you try to pull anything funny,

we'll kill the hostage and then fight you to the death, got it?

See you at the beach in 30 minutes.

- The other two? - Lam's under the bridge,

Fung's up the mountain. There's a guard on the bridge.

Madam, Inspector Lo is fine. How is it on your end?

We're on the mountain. They're pushing Lo back into the hideout.

Don't shoot without orders.

Action!

- What's up? - Nothing.

May, I've sorted him.

Throw down your guns.

Don't move!

- How do you feel? - Fine.

I even survived your beating, this is nothing compared to that.

Watch out!

Don't move!

- Don't shoot! - Don't shoot! We surrender!

Don't move!

Count yourself lucky I saved you, or you'd be dead!

You think I didn't know that? I was luring him out!

That really hurt...

Are you all right? Let's see it.

Pair of dogs!

Pair of dogs!

You were fine a minute ago, why did you slip?

You shameless couple don't care about anyone!

Watch out!

- Thank you for saving me. - No, it was Susanna who saved us both.

It was Amy's kind-heartedness.

You told me to replace the holes in my vest with little satellites.

Inspector Kan, what's your location?

Almost there!

Don't move, or I'll kill him!

Move!

Move!

We now have two hostages in our hands.

And we have three of you.

Our lives are worthless.

If you do anything reckless, we'll kill the two of them!

So what do you want?

If you let us go and arrange for our getaway ship,

we'll release them once we reach international waters.

- That's quite late! - Yeah.

No bargaining!

Right, I promise. Let's go.

We've met your request. Here's your speedboat.

Go see if there's anything funny about the boat and if it has enough fuel.

You can let them go now.

We're not letting them go until we reach safety.

If you try anything funny, they'll surely die!

Don't act hastily.

You're done here.

Get out of my sight. Take those ones with you, got it?

- Come on! - Put down the stretcher, let's go.

Hurry up! Let's go!

Set the rendezvous point with our boat in international waters. Go!

Don't move!

Raise your hands!

Don't move!

Walk.

Go on, hurry up!

Move, hurry up!

- Get down! - Madam.

- Thank you, Madam. - You're welcome.

Why did you release him but not me?

I'm not releasing you,

because I'm never letting you go.

I--

I do.

Great!