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1
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This is DS Haines from Bristol and Avon,
2
00:00:01,872 --> 00:00:04,818
I'm looking for information
on an alias known as The Dean.
3
00:00:04,819 --> 00:00:06,580
I'll call you back.
4
00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:09,975
What was you thinking?
5
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:12,380
She was thinking how
she can save our lives.
6
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,860
By promising we'll pay every
penny back in eight weeks,
7
00:00:14,860 --> 00:00:17,380
with interest, washed and
folded? That can't be done!
8
00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:21,340
But you... you're a drug
dealer, you're rich, aren't you?
9
00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:24,460
Shut up! You don't know me. Look around.
10
00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:27,340
My crib is a garage at
the end of my mum's garden.
11
00:00:27,340 --> 00:00:29,780
You have things. Your TV,
12
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:32,100
those trainers, you could sell your car.
13
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,300
"Hello, Mr Dean, here's
a second-hand Range,
14
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,000
and a flatscreen TV. We good?"
15
00:00:38,185 --> 00:00:40,705
And I got a family to provide for.
16
00:00:40,705 --> 00:00:43,545
What I earn goes on my fam.
17
00:00:43,545 --> 00:00:46,520
Six is a lot of mouths to
feed. And are you forgetting
18
00:00:46,535 --> 00:00:49,500
the feds nailed me for making
you do my Community Service?
19
00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,505
If they send me to
pen, and we ain't paid,
20
00:00:51,505 --> 00:00:55,025
The Dean will have his people
inside do me a ting, straight.
21
00:00:55,825 --> 00:00:59,865
You didn't save our necks,
you put 'em in a noose.
22
00:01:01,325 --> 00:01:04,585
- Maybe I can ask my parents for help.
- They rockin' that kind of money?
23
00:01:04,685 --> 00:01:08,085
No. But, I don't know,
maybe they can raise it.
24
00:01:08,085 --> 00:01:10,445
If we get them involved,
we make them complicit.
25
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,085
Do you have a better idea, then?
26
00:01:12,085 --> 00:01:15,765
Yeah. We go to the feds.
27
00:01:15,765 --> 00:01:17,765
Man ain't makin' no deal with the feds.
28
00:01:17,765 --> 00:01:21,005
What choice do we have?
We lay it out there.
29
00:01:21,005 --> 00:01:23,925
We tell the feds, and
let them protect us.
30
00:01:23,925 --> 00:01:27,885
- Man ain't snitchin'!
- It's better than digging your own shallow grave.
31
00:01:27,885 --> 00:01:30,845
He's right. I have the number
of a policewoman we could call,
32
00:01:30,845 --> 00:01:33,965
and then we can just finish this.
33
00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:56,525
- Haines.
- Hi, this is Rani Rekowski.
34
00:01:56,525 --> 00:01:58,405
Rani. How are you?
35
00:01:58,405 --> 00:02:01,045
Well, that's why I'm calling.
36
00:02:01,045 --> 00:02:03,245
OK.
37
00:02:03,245 --> 00:02:07,085
I just had something
important I needed to tell you.
38
00:02:09,525 --> 00:02:13,045
But I'm not sure I should
be telling you on the phone.
39
00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:16,405
What's this about?
40
00:02:20,085 --> 00:02:22,005
Rani? Are you still there?
41
00:02:22,005 --> 00:02:23,645
Can you give me a second, please?
42
00:02:29,805 --> 00:02:34,125
Hello? Rani, what did
you want to tell me?
43
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:39,885
I wanted to tell you that I'm
completing my payback hours,
44
00:02:39,885 --> 00:02:43,565
and I'm staying out of
trouble, keeping my head down.
45
00:02:43,565 --> 00:02:47,525
- Glad to hear it.
- OK. Thanks. Bye.
46
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:01,365
- Rani?
- Comms. You're enquiring about The Dean?
47
00:03:01,365 --> 00:03:03,525
- Yes. Yes, I was.
- That information's classified,
48
00:03:03,525 --> 00:03:06,205
- you don't have clearance.
- Clearance?
49
00:03:06,205 --> 00:03:08,185
Thank you for your enquiry.
50
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,380
Say something!
51
00:03:56,380 --> 00:04:01,340
I say we don't pay,
call his bluff, boom.
52
00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:03,020
He knows where we live,
53
00:04:03,020 --> 00:04:05,700
and my family, and Ben's sister. "Boom!"
54
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,900
He's already threatened to hurt them.
55
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,160
Same if we go to the police.
56
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,000
Look, we have eight weeks.
57
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,480
You three have to get the money back.
58
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,920
- I've told you, we've spent it!
- On what?
59
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,840
The Bristol Justice Collective.
60
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,720
Still don't understand what it
is revolutionaries actually need,
61
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,480
by the way, apart from berets
and some twat on a guitar.
62
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,640
A new website, new minibus,
new staff, new offices.
63
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,320
15 types of milk, probably.
64
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,320
Oh, right, and what
did you spend yours on?
65
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,320
I put mine into my
business, as you well know.
66
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:35,120
The one you that just got
fired from? Great save!
67
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,040
What did you spend your cut on, Frank?
68
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,640
My daughter's mortgage. It
was killing her. I had to help.
69
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,200
So you haven't helped her in 40 years,
70
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,680
but you couldn't wait eight
more weeks to grow a conscience?
71
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,520
You guys are just going to save
72
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,040
yourselves and let our loved ones die?
73
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,560
Christian Taylor.
74
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,880
What about him?
75
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,400
If he has to do jail
time, for making Ben do CS,
76
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,760
he won't be around to
run his drug operation.
77
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,920
- We are not becoming drug dealers.
- Absolutely not!
78
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,400
I've done some grifts
in my time but not that.
79
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,840
Tell me it isn't a good
way to make big money fast!
80
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,200
Rani!
81
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,160
It's eight weeks and
then it's over. Why not?
82
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,680
Because drugs have ruined the
lives of everyone I've loved.
83
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,120
No-one is dealing drugs, OK?
84
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,920
Jeez, I'll get another loan... somehow.
85
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,240
I'll have to ask Margie for
the money back... somehow.
86
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,640
I'll see... I'll see what I can do.
87
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,960
Sir, you wanted to see us?
88
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:38,400
- How many times have you called Comms today?
- I haven't.
89
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,040
- You?
- About five or six times.
90
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,040
- Well, which, is it, five or six?
- Six?
91
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,480
12 times. You've been red-flagged.
92
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,520
- Red-flagged?
- For pestering them about someone called The Dean,
93
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,960
even though you've been
repeatedly told to stand down.
94
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,520
Now stand down.
95
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,600
With respect, sir, why
am I being stonewalled?
96
00:06:05,555 --> 00:06:09,155
You are treading on
Scotland Yard's size tens.
97
00:06:09,155 --> 00:06:12,675
The Dean is London, big-time,
tied to international syndicates.
98
00:06:12,675 --> 00:06:16,155
For two years the Met have been
tracking him, building a case.
99
00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:17,835
So why haven't they arrested him, then?
100
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,155
He's got good tradecraft.
101
00:06:19,155 --> 00:06:21,635
Never handles product or money directly,
102
00:06:21,635 --> 00:06:23,675
- impossible to pin him with anything.
- We can help.
103
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,155
He's running county lines into Bristol.
104
00:06:26,155 --> 00:06:28,635
If that were the case, the
Met would know about it.
105
00:06:28,635 --> 00:06:30,955
Would they, if The Dean's so careful?
106
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:34,555
And it's not like they share
intel with us, so we wouldn't know.
107
00:06:34,555 --> 00:06:36,435
What have you got?
108
00:06:36,435 --> 00:06:39,475
The Dean has a local foot
soldier called Christian Taylor.
109
00:06:39,575 --> 00:06:42,955
Taylor's about to do time for
violating probation. My hunch is,
110
00:06:42,955 --> 00:06:46,035
if we can flip him, he
could give us The Dean.
111
00:06:46,035 --> 00:06:48,515
But my hunch is that you're
ambitious and think that if you can
112
00:06:48,515 --> 00:06:51,235
nail someone the Met can't,
that's your ticket out of Bristol.
113
00:06:51,325 --> 00:06:54,245
I won't apologise for
being ambitious, sir,
114
00:06:54,245 --> 00:06:56,925
but if we do land The
Dean, that's national news,
115
00:06:56,925 --> 00:06:58,205
and we all take a bow.
116
00:06:58,205 --> 00:07:00,805
If your snooping blows London's case,
117
00:07:00,805 --> 00:07:05,325
we'll spend the rest of our days
shooing seagulls off Bristol Docks.
118
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,005
Is that how you see your future?
119
00:07:07,005 --> 00:07:09,245
I stand by my partner, sir.
120
00:07:10,445 --> 00:07:13,485
Just to confirm, are you
telling us to stand down, sir?
121
00:07:13,485 --> 00:07:16,605
I'm telling you tread carefully.
122
00:07:25,105 --> 00:07:28,705
I hope you know what you're
doing, I hate seagulls.
123
00:07:28,705 --> 00:07:30,545
They're like rats with wings.
124
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,655
Hmm.
125
00:07:47,255 --> 00:07:49,535
Are you going to talk about it?
126
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:53,375
- Hmm?
- Last night, you walked out on our dinner party.
127
00:07:53,375 --> 00:07:56,295
Yeah, sorry. I had to...
pop back to the office.
128
00:07:56,295 --> 00:08:00,055
At ten o'clock? Will you... ?
Stop doing that, look at me.
129
00:08:01,335 --> 00:08:04,695
What is going on with you?
130
00:08:04,695 --> 00:08:09,455
I... I realised,
131
00:08:09,955 --> 00:08:12,415
you know I've been working
this job for 19 years?
132
00:08:13,115 --> 00:08:16,855
19 years. I mean, Christ,
when I first started,
133
00:08:16,855 --> 00:08:19,415
personal assistants were
still called secretaries,
134
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,355
you know? You could still ask
'em to make you a cup of tea
135
00:08:21,355 --> 00:08:25,175
and not wind up in a tribunal. 19 years.
136
00:08:25,175 --> 00:08:26,775
I mean,
137
00:08:26,775 --> 00:08:28,335
that is a lot of dress-down Fridays
138
00:08:28,335 --> 00:08:31,175
and signing birthday cards.
139
00:08:31,175 --> 00:08:33,255
And that's why,
140
00:08:33,255 --> 00:08:37,415
yesterday, we decided
that... I need a change.
141
00:08:37,415 --> 00:08:39,620
- "We?"
- Dad and I, yeah.
142
00:08:39,621 --> 00:08:42,295
We talked it through, and, erm...
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00:08:43,335 --> 00:08:46,575
... I'm getting a new job. I'm
going to get a different job.
144
00:08:46,575 --> 00:08:48,175
A job that's for me.
145
00:08:48,175 --> 00:08:50,375
- What job?
- I don't know yet.
146
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,735
I've got feelers out
147
00:08:51,735 --> 00:08:55,295
and I am excited for
this new chapter. Buzzing!
148
00:08:55,295 --> 00:08:57,695
You didn't think you ought
to discuss this with me?
149
00:08:57,695 --> 00:09:00,615
I AM discussing it with you, I'm
discussing it with you right now.
150
00:09:00,615 --> 00:09:03,295
- This is going to impact us financially.
- No.
151
00:09:03,295 --> 00:09:04,935
- School fees... the ski trip.
- No.
152
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:08,415
No. Listen, because I am
going to take my 19 years
153
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:11,335
of management experience
154
00:09:11,335 --> 00:09:12,935
and I will breeze into another job.
155
00:09:12,935 --> 00:09:16,255
John, did your father fire you?
156
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:19,695
- What? No. That's ludicrous.
- You can tell me if he did.
157
00:09:19,695 --> 00:09:22,815
I would. He didn't. It was... mutual.
158
00:09:24,135 --> 00:09:27,695
Listen, I'm doing this,
I'm doing something for me.
159
00:09:27,695 --> 00:09:30,855
For us, OK? I mean,
160
00:09:30,855 --> 00:09:34,055
I thought you'd be happy for me.
161
00:09:34,055 --> 00:09:35,975
You know I'm happy if you are.
162
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:38,455
Well, I'm happy.
163
00:09:38,455 --> 00:09:41,095
So we're both happy.
164
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,615
- What are you doing?
- I've decided to give up booze.
165
00:09:59,615 --> 00:10:01,055
But that's my booze and I haven't.
166
00:10:01,055 --> 00:10:03,775
Greg, while I'm living here I
can't have any temptation around,
167
00:10:03,775 --> 00:10:05,975
which is why...
168
00:10:07,575 --> 00:10:09,455
... I need you to hide this for me.
169
00:10:09,455 --> 00:10:11,695
What is this, flour? You
going gluten-free as well?
170
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:15,095
- That's cocaine.
- Cocaine? What, did you buy the family size?
171
00:10:15,095 --> 00:10:17,775
Look, just hide it, OK?
And whatever I say to you,
172
00:10:17,775 --> 00:10:21,575
do not give it to me, no matter how
much I beg you, don't give in, OK?
173
00:10:21,575 --> 00:10:23,695
- OK.
- Did you speak to my agent?
174
00:10:23,695 --> 00:10:25,135
I did.
175
00:10:25,135 --> 00:10:27,775
- And does she have a job for me?
- No.
176
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:30,215
Nothing? No adverts or sponsorship?
177
00:10:30,215 --> 00:10:33,535
Greg, I need some money, you
told me that I was going bankrupt.
178
00:10:34,035 --> 00:10:36,775
I know but you're seen as unreliable
since you called that soda machine
179
00:10:36,775 --> 00:10:38,695
- the C word.
- It WAS a cunt!
180
00:10:38,695 --> 00:10:41,815
- Other products don't want to be associated with you.
- I'm edgy.
181
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:44,535
- No, you're toxic.
- Toxic's cool.
182
00:10:44,535 --> 00:10:46,815
It used to be, but now
celebrities need to seem nice.
183
00:10:46,815 --> 00:10:49,175
You've got to show
empathy and cellulite.
184
00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:52,375
And also, some people are saying...
185
00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:54,575
- What?
- ... that you've got anger issues.
186
00:10:54,665 --> 00:10:57,225
Who's saying that?
I'll kill the fuckers!
187
00:10:57,225 --> 00:11:00,465
There's also the substance
abuse. Which I am working on.
188
00:11:00,465 --> 00:11:02,422
- Look, just give me my coke back.
- You told me not to.
189
00:11:02,423 --> 00:11:04,050
That was before. Now I need a bump.
190
00:11:04,051 --> 00:11:06,000
- Give it to me.
- No, you said, whatever you say to me,
191
00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:07,385
don't let you have it.
192
00:11:07,385 --> 00:11:10,105
Give me the bag, you
speccy twat. Give it to me!
193
00:11:10,105 --> 00:11:13,265
- Argh! Argh!
- This is not the real you speaking.
194
00:11:13,265 --> 00:11:16,825
- Yes, it is, you rake with a face!
- Not the tickling!
195
00:11:16,825 --> 00:11:18,985
Give it to me.
196
00:11:18,985 --> 00:11:21,865
- Don't, and I'll get you a job.
- You said no-one would employ me.
197
00:11:21,865 --> 00:11:24,585
Give me 24 hours and
I'll find you something.
198
00:11:24,585 --> 00:11:26,945
Yeah? Come on, please, stay strong.
199
00:11:31,225 --> 00:11:33,225
Sorry for calling you
a bug-eyed beanpole.
200
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:36,265
Well, it was "speccy twat"
and "rake with a face".
201
00:11:36,265 --> 00:11:38,185
Either way, I'm sorry.
202
00:11:46,145 --> 00:11:49,385
I need a drink. Sorry.
203
00:11:58,665 --> 00:12:00,585
Can I have a word?
204
00:12:00,585 --> 00:12:03,785
Remember when you asked me where
the cash for all of this came from?
205
00:12:03,785 --> 00:12:05,825
I thought it was our mystery donor?
206
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,745
Yeah, well if I tell you who it is,
207
00:12:07,745 --> 00:12:11,625
then you can't tell anyone.
It's Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe.
208
00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:14,145
That posh woman who's always
falling out of nightclubs?
209
00:12:14,145 --> 00:12:17,465
- All right, keep your voice down.
- Why is she interested in the BJC?
210
00:12:17,465 --> 00:12:19,298
I thought her kind were only interested
211
00:12:19,299 --> 00:12:21,350
in bottle service and lip filler.
212
00:12:21,351 --> 00:12:24,865
Well, she deeply respects
me and my organisation
213
00:12:24,865 --> 00:12:28,625
and she wanted to make a
sizeable donation to support it.
214
00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:31,025
- I misjudged her.
- Yes, you did.
215
00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:35,185
- But now she needs all the money back.
- What?
216
00:12:35,185 --> 00:12:38,385
You know what the landed
gentry are like: fickle.
217
00:12:38,385 --> 00:12:40,185
We've spent the money.
218
00:12:40,185 --> 00:12:41,905
Well, we'll have to un-spend it.
219
00:12:41,905 --> 00:12:44,905
We've got a year's lease on this
place. Full-time staff on payroll.
220
00:12:44,905 --> 00:12:48,305
You're saying it like it's my
fault. We all voted for those things.
221
00:12:48,305 --> 00:12:51,105
Because you promised you could
keep us financially independent.
222
00:12:51,105 --> 00:12:52,945
That's why we turned
down a council grant.
223
00:12:52,945 --> 00:12:54,385
Yeah, and you're going to
need to go to the council
224
00:12:54,385 --> 00:12:58,225
- and say that we want the grant after all.
- That ship's sailed, Myrna.
225
00:12:58,225 --> 00:13:01,225
Well, we can still get
the money back, can't we?
226
00:13:01,225 --> 00:13:05,705
We can, erm, we could sell the
minibus and those ergonomic chairs.
227
00:13:05,705 --> 00:13:07,545
Stop bouncing, please.
228
00:13:07,545 --> 00:13:10,945
And I always said we don't
need the Reiki guy full-time.
229
00:13:10,945 --> 00:13:13,465
Myrna, those are just
the things you can see.
230
00:13:13,465 --> 00:13:15,585
We would have to liquidate
the organisation to get
231
00:13:15,585 --> 00:13:18,665
the money back. The
BJC will cease to exist.
232
00:13:29,265 --> 00:13:30,785
Dad, we're in here!
233
00:13:30,785 --> 00:13:33,585
Margie, we need to discuss something.
234
00:13:36,585 --> 00:13:39,665
You paid off the mortgage.
235
00:13:39,665 --> 00:13:40,865
Ta-da!
236
00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:44,385
- As of this morning. And there was money left.
- There was?
237
00:13:44,385 --> 00:13:46,625
So I set up a college fund for the kids.
238
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:49,145
- Do the kids even want to go to college?
- I do.
239
00:13:52,705 --> 00:13:54,985
It's Johnnie Walker Red.
That's your tipple, isn't it?
240
00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:57,945
Mum's made your
favourite, too, meatloaf.
241
00:13:57,945 --> 00:14:01,905
Well, it's sort of shepherd's pie
that I've squeezed into a loaf.
242
00:14:01,905 --> 00:14:04,105
It's the thought that counts.
243
00:14:04,105 --> 00:14:07,665
Well, it's the deed that counts,
too. Thank you so much, Dad.
244
00:14:07,665 --> 00:14:09,985
It's the least I can do.
245
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:15,145
What was it you that
you want to discuss?
246
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:16,385
Nothing urgent.
247
00:14:28,225 --> 00:14:30,457
- Mr Halloran?
- Yeah. Hello, yes.
248
00:14:30,458 --> 00:14:32,028
- Hello?
- I'm here. Hello?
249
00:14:32,065 --> 00:14:36,145
Can I confirm, you said you're not
currently employed, is that right?
250
00:14:36,145 --> 00:14:41,345
I am currently in-between
jobs, yeah, but, as I said,
251
00:14:41,345 --> 00:14:44,745
I have 19 years of management experience
252
00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:48,225
and I'm confident that I will
find fresh employment very soon.
253
00:14:48,225 --> 00:14:51,385
Yes. I've checked with my supervisor,
254
00:14:51,385 --> 00:14:55,625
but we can't grant
you a loan. I'm sorry.
255
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:58,225
- Why not?
- You have no employment,
256
00:14:58,225 --> 00:14:59,705
you're heavily mortgaged on your assets
257
00:14:59,805 --> 00:15:03,825
so we just can't proceed. I'm sorry.
258
00:15:06,585 --> 00:15:10,465
Do you remember when banks
like yours went tits-up in 2008
259
00:15:10,465 --> 00:15:13,425
and it was taxpayers like
me that bailed you out?
260
00:15:13,425 --> 00:15:15,505
No, sir, I was only six years old.
261
00:15:16,745 --> 00:15:18,985
Well, it's absurd, you know,
262
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:21,345
it's absurd that I'm standing here today
263
00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:23,265
and a businessman like me can't get
264
00:15:23,265 --> 00:15:27,665
a loan from your bank!
But if this were 2007,
265
00:15:27,666 --> 00:15:32,005
and I was an unemployed
single mother with three kids
266
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:33,861
and a crack addiction, I'd
have walked out of your place
267
00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:36,305
with a mortgage and a fucking balloon!
268
00:15:38,265 --> 00:15:41,345
Is there anything else I
can help you with today, sir?
269
00:15:50,505 --> 00:15:51,945
Like she said,
270
00:15:51,945 --> 00:15:54,465
we're only in it for eight
weeks and then we're done.
271
00:15:56,025 --> 00:15:58,945
Men like this guy from
London exploit local kids,
272
00:15:58,945 --> 00:16:03,825
I know that, but I'll
get to know those kids,
273
00:16:03,825 --> 00:16:06,905
and then, when this is
over, I can help them.
274
00:16:14,065 --> 00:16:18,065
If I don't do this, people will
get hurt. If I dissolve the BJC,
275
00:16:18,065 --> 00:16:20,105
the community will get hurt.
276
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:24,025
40 years' work wiped out like that.
277
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:27,785
And I will have killed a man...
278
00:16:28,745 --> 00:16:34,025
... for what? Your
whole life, my life...
279
00:16:36,065 --> 00:16:37,625
... for nothing.
280
00:16:48,665 --> 00:16:54,225
If we did do what you
suggested, how would it work?
281
00:16:55,425 --> 00:16:57,225
What?
282
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:58,705
The plan you suggested.
283
00:16:58,905 --> 00:17:03,225
I don't know. We'd meet with
Taylor, find out how he operates.
284
00:17:03,225 --> 00:17:05,705
Eight weeks, right?
285
00:17:05,705 --> 00:17:08,425
We just do what is
necessary and then we're out.
286
00:17:08,425 --> 00:17:10,945
And absolutely no violence.
287
00:17:11,145 --> 00:17:13,305
Of course. Thank you.
288
00:17:15,345 --> 00:17:17,625
We're not doing it.
289
00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:20,185
Do you all know what
drugs have done to my mum?
290
00:17:20,185 --> 00:17:22,945
- I understand how you feel.
- No, you don't. You don't,
291
00:17:22,945 --> 00:17:24,585
or you wouldn't have suggested
it in the first place.
292
00:17:24,685 --> 00:17:28,185
- I wish I didn't have to, but...
- You have no idea.
293
00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:30,585
My whole life, you have
no idea what I've had to do
294
00:17:30,585 --> 00:17:33,545
- to stop from going down that path.
- What option do we have?
295
00:17:33,545 --> 00:17:36,465
We make as much money as we can
in eight weeks then we walk away.
296
00:17:36,465 --> 00:17:40,145
A brief, terrible
episode in all our lives.
297
00:17:40,145 --> 00:17:44,945
I'd never do anything to
hurt you, but The Dean will.
298
00:17:44,945 --> 00:17:49,545
I'm scared. I'm really scared.
299
00:17:49,545 --> 00:17:51,305
And I don't want to die.
300
00:17:56,505 --> 00:18:01,945
All right. So we raise the funds.
301
00:18:01,945 --> 00:18:03,865
How do we launder it?
302
00:18:08,705 --> 00:18:11,305
Guess who's back.
303
00:18:11,305 --> 00:18:13,065
Oh, it's not fucking Beryl, is it?
304
00:18:13,065 --> 00:18:15,865
Aye. Oh, I hate that old bitch.
305
00:18:15,865 --> 00:18:17,945
Greg, listen, mate, we need you.
306
00:18:17,945 --> 00:18:20,545
I'm not doing any more money laundering.
307
00:18:20,545 --> 00:18:23,505
I got really stressed last
time and my eczema broke out.
308
00:18:23,505 --> 00:18:26,105
I was scratching my groin so
much I got thrown out of Nando's.
309
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,985
High pockets, we're all friends here,
310
00:18:28,985 --> 00:18:31,585
and that's why nobody
wants to remind you about
311
00:18:31,585 --> 00:18:34,625
a certain cupboard of
chaos which, if exposed,
312
00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:38,785
would leave you up shit creek
with your dick in your hand.
313
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,185
Ah, well, actually, my dick's
314
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:42,345
already up shit creek
in someone else's hand.
315
00:18:42,345 --> 00:18:43,545
What does that mean?
316
00:18:43,545 --> 00:18:46,505
It means a bloke I work with called
Spencer Fitzwilliam already found
317
00:18:46,505 --> 00:18:48,605
my cupboard of chaos and has
been blackmailing me with it
318
00:18:48,705 --> 00:18:51,105
and making my life
hell. So join the queue.
319
00:18:51,105 --> 00:18:54,225
- Westside.
- Westside?
320
00:18:54,225 --> 00:18:57,625
Leave it to me. I can change his mind.
321
00:18:58,865 --> 00:19:01,505
You take over? Is she serious?
322
00:19:01,505 --> 00:19:04,265
We need to make money, fast.
You've a way of doing that
323
00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:06,705
but who's going to run things
for you when you're in prison?
324
00:19:06,705 --> 00:19:10,305
- Not you.
- Then who? Because Souljah's betrayed you,
325
00:19:10,305 --> 00:19:11,825
Spider's out of action,
326
00:19:11,825 --> 00:19:14,145
now your whole crew's just
some little boys on BMXs.
327
00:19:14,145 --> 00:19:15,665
Whoa, whoa, wait.
328
00:19:15,665 --> 00:19:17,505
We don't even know
I'm set for a stretch.
329
00:19:17,505 --> 00:19:19,705
You said this lawyer
of yours is good, right?
330
00:19:19,705 --> 00:19:21,945
I didn't say he was
good, I said he was free.
331
00:19:21,945 --> 00:19:23,545
Nah, I ain't handing you my line.
332
00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:25,800
- Why not?
- Because I don't trust you.
333
00:19:25,801 --> 00:19:27,545
We're the only ones you CAN trust.
334
00:19:27,545 --> 00:19:31,265
Have you ever heard the phrase "the
enemy of my enemy is my friend"?
335
00:19:31,265 --> 00:19:34,065
Was it the same guy who said, "How
much wood would a woodchuck chuck"?
336
00:19:34,065 --> 00:19:36,185
I spent my whole life
trying to stay out the game.
337
00:19:36,185 --> 00:19:38,665
You think I want to be a
part of anything you do?
338
00:19:38,665 --> 00:19:41,601
- We're all in this together whether we like it or not...
- Nah, G.
339
00:19:41,602 --> 00:19:44,265
You do you, and I'll
take care of myself.
340
00:19:44,265 --> 00:19:47,505
Oh, really? Because last night,
you were this close to being dead
341
00:19:47,505 --> 00:19:50,105
before I stepped up, and if
you don't start trusting me,
342
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,225
none of us are getting
out of this shit alive!
343
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,265
What do you even know
about running a line?
344
00:19:54,265 --> 00:19:56,305
Nothing, but I'm a quick learner.
345
00:20:07,025 --> 00:20:10,025
Swear down, you fuck me on this,
346
00:20:10,025 --> 00:20:14,505
and I will Shawshank my
way out of pen so fast...
347
00:20:15,745 --> 00:20:19,425
All right, what do you want to know?
348
00:20:20,985 --> 00:20:23,465
Everything.
349
00:20:23,465 --> 00:20:24,985
All right, listen,
350
00:20:24,985 --> 00:20:28,305
'cos I don't like repeating
myself. You know what this is?
351
00:20:28,305 --> 00:20:30,545
That is a mobile phone.
352
00:20:30,545 --> 00:20:33,505
Wrong. It's THE phone, the line.
353
00:20:33,505 --> 00:20:35,945
Contains numbers for all my customers.
354
00:20:35,945 --> 00:20:39,305
So every day I ping out a message,
355
00:20:39,305 --> 00:20:44,025
"Open for business all the time.
356
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:48,985
For what you need, call the line".
357
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:54,145
- Now what?
- We wait.
358
00:20:54,145 --> 00:20:57,945
- You making notes?
- Yeah, it's just a lot to...
359
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:01,465
You keep everything up here.
360
00:21:03,185 --> 00:21:06,065
Sorry.
361
00:21:07,825 --> 00:21:11,705
Yo, what do you need? Where you at?
362
00:21:13,465 --> 00:21:17,425
What are you wearing?
All right, soon come.
363
00:21:19,825 --> 00:21:21,745
So you take the order and then what?
364
00:21:21,745 --> 00:21:25,385
Then, important, you
use a different phone
365
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,985
to call whatever runner
you think is closest.
366
00:21:31,545 --> 00:21:35,225
Yo, Biggs. One bag of beans, Elswick Rd.
367
00:21:35,225 --> 00:21:41,065
The guy's wearing a navy-blue
tracksuit. You got that? All right.
368
00:21:42,105 --> 00:21:45,185
And Bingo was his name, yo?
369
00:21:45,185 --> 00:21:47,065
Could we meet some of the runners?
370
00:21:52,305 --> 00:21:53,985
What's he doing here?
371
00:21:53,985 --> 00:21:56,105
This is our business adviser.
372
00:22:32,105 --> 00:22:34,065
There's some of my runners.
373
00:22:34,065 --> 00:22:36,745
Jesus, they look barely out of nappies.
374
00:22:38,145 --> 00:22:39,585
I recognise that blonde girl.
375
00:22:39,585 --> 00:22:44,185
She goes to school with my
sister! This is so wrong, man.
376
00:22:44,185 --> 00:22:46,165
Don't judge. They're only doing it
377
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:49,625
to feed their families, same as me.
378
00:22:49,625 --> 00:22:54,345
What are you doing? Never
exit the vehicle. Basics.
379
00:22:55,785 --> 00:22:57,800
Mm, basics.
380
00:22:57,801 --> 00:23:02,205
OK, so how much does a runner get paid?
381
00:23:02,305 --> 00:23:04,785
About 80 quid.
382
00:23:04,785 --> 00:23:06,985
Standard? For everybody?
383
00:23:06,985 --> 00:23:09,385
Depends how much they
sell. Or, if they owe money,
384
00:23:09,385 --> 00:23:11,185
it's set against that.
385
00:23:14,985 --> 00:23:18,905
Yo, man pulled up. Send 'em
away and come here, innit?
386
00:23:18,905 --> 00:23:21,121
- What are we doing?
- We're doing what we have to do.
387
00:23:21,122 --> 00:23:22,785
What is happening?
388
00:23:22,785 --> 00:23:24,905
Oi, you lot. Piss off.
389
00:23:24,905 --> 00:23:27,945
The boy who just left took the food,
390
00:23:27,945 --> 00:23:29,185
so if the feds are watching,
391
00:23:29,185 --> 00:23:31,385
they can't link shit directly to me.
392
00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:34,745
What you saying, big man?
393
00:23:34,745 --> 00:23:36,505
Wagwan, buddy, you all right, yeah?
394
00:23:36,505 --> 00:23:38,465
Cash total.
395
00:23:39,745 --> 00:23:41,145
OK.
396
00:23:45,185 --> 00:23:47,465
Anyone complaining about
the quality of the food?
397
00:23:47,465 --> 00:23:49,105
Nah, cuz.
398
00:23:49,105 --> 00:23:51,665
OK, I think I can get the
business side of things down,
399
00:23:51,665 --> 00:23:53,865
but that dialect, it's
going to take a bit of work.
400
00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,265
- Anyone watching you?
- Nah, man.
401
00:23:56,265 --> 00:23:57,705
- Anyone else selling?
- Nah.
402
00:23:57,705 --> 00:23:59,762
- No trouble?
- Uh-uh.
403
00:23:59,763 --> 00:24:01,665
- Nah?
- Nah, man.
404
00:24:04,105 --> 00:24:07,185
Four? There should be five!
405
00:24:07,185 --> 00:24:08,905
Bruv, we sold 400.
406
00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:11,585
Yo, big man...
407
00:24:11,585 --> 00:24:14,345
... you know what happens if
you start lying to me, right?
408
00:24:14,345 --> 00:24:16,745
Yeah, I do, bro, and I ain't lying.
409
00:24:16,745 --> 00:24:18,905
Yeah?
410
00:24:18,905 --> 00:24:20,425
In a bit.
411
00:24:22,585 --> 00:24:24,025
What was that about?
412
00:24:25,265 --> 00:24:26,625
Nothing.
413
00:24:26,670 --> 00:24:29,150
You got to make 'em sweat
every now and then, innit?
414
00:24:29,150 --> 00:24:31,070
And what if he HAD been lying?
415
00:24:32,190 --> 00:24:34,630
Trust me, he knows better than that.
416
00:24:43,350 --> 00:24:44,870
You've never seen Jaws?
417
00:24:44,870 --> 00:24:47,390
No, I've never seen Jaws.
418
00:24:47,390 --> 00:24:49,630
I have seen Jaws 2, 3 and 4, though.
419
00:24:49,730 --> 00:24:52,230
- Oh.
- Chap. Tide's out.
420
00:24:52,230 --> 00:24:53,990
We take it in turns.
421
00:25:16,870 --> 00:25:19,470
So how do you manage staffing levels?
422
00:25:19,470 --> 00:25:21,870
I only take on people
when demand is steady,
423
00:25:21,870 --> 00:25:25,350
otherwise you're just paying for
employees when you don't need them.
424
00:25:25,350 --> 00:25:28,750
Yeah? Good. Yeah, I wish I'd done that.
425
00:25:28,750 --> 00:25:32,590
Got quite the business brain.
You pick it all up on the street?
426
00:25:32,590 --> 00:25:35,310
Yeah. Oxford was full, innit?
427
00:25:37,510 --> 00:25:40,670
So what have your net profits
been over the last three years?
428
00:25:40,670 --> 00:25:43,150
I've been even at 200K.
429
00:25:43,150 --> 00:25:45,750
But business isn't
growing, though, is it?
430
00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:47,990
You know, they say that
431
00:25:47,990 --> 00:25:50,510
a business that isn't
progressing is regressing.
432
00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:52,830
That's the big mistake I made.
433
00:25:52,830 --> 00:25:55,110
Yeah, I know that. I
need to mix it up, man.
434
00:25:55,110 --> 00:25:57,310
Can't you move into other markets?
435
00:25:57,310 --> 00:25:58,670
I can't just pick and drop
436
00:25:58,670 --> 00:26:00,630
my runners off in
another part of Bristol.
437
00:26:00,630 --> 00:26:03,590
That's where the problems start.
438
00:26:03,590 --> 00:26:05,310
Well, you're definitely a natural.
439
00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:09,470
You ever think about legitimate
work? I think you'd go places.
440
00:26:28,510 --> 00:26:30,070
Is it safe?
441
00:26:31,350 --> 00:26:33,190
What?
442
00:26:33,190 --> 00:26:34,910
Is it safe?
443
00:26:37,310 --> 00:26:38,750
Is what safe?
444
00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:44,750
Special Agent Robert Stack,
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
445
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:48,710
V funny, chap, but you're a
bit old to be a strip-o-gram.
446
00:26:48,810 --> 00:26:51,010
How much are the lads paying you?
447
00:26:51,010 --> 00:26:53,410
Your name is Spencer Fitzwilliam.
448
00:26:53,410 --> 00:26:56,850
You're a lawyer at
Northcott Marling, correct?
449
00:26:58,130 --> 00:26:59,570
What's this about?
450
00:26:59,570 --> 00:27:02,450
On three, leave your wrap on the bench,
451
00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:04,370
stand, and follow me.
452
00:27:04,370 --> 00:27:08,330
One, two... three.
453
00:27:08,330 --> 00:27:10,890
Can I see your badge again, mate?
454
00:27:10,890 --> 00:27:13,890
We need to talk about the
biggest co-ordinated response
455
00:27:13,890 --> 00:27:17,570
to international money
laundering in FBI history.
456
00:27:17,570 --> 00:27:19,090
Money laundering?
457
00:27:19,090 --> 00:27:22,170
- Keep your goddamn voice down.
- Come on, chap, is this a joke?
458
00:27:22,170 --> 00:27:24,490
Joke? See that guy? That's my colleague,
459
00:27:24,490 --> 00:27:25,850
Agent Jack Webb.
460
00:27:25,850 --> 00:27:29,930
He spent two years travelling across
four continents tracing corrupt
461
00:27:29,930 --> 00:27:33,770
bankers and bogus accounts
with ties to organised crime.
462
00:27:33,770 --> 00:27:37,250
Agent Webb missed his
own mother's funeral.
463
00:27:37,250 --> 00:27:39,610
Ask Agent Webb if this is a joke.
464
00:27:39,610 --> 00:27:41,210
What's this got to do with me?
465
00:27:41,210 --> 00:27:44,290
Your firm has been
compromised. Are you clean?
466
00:27:44,290 --> 00:27:47,410
- Am I what?
- Are you clean?
467
00:27:47,410 --> 00:27:51,810
- Yeah, yeah, I'm clean.
- Then why are you impeding our investigation?
468
00:27:51,810 --> 00:27:53,330
I... I'm not.
469
00:27:53,330 --> 00:27:55,850
We have the co-operation of
an informant in your office.
470
00:27:55,850 --> 00:27:59,170
He's been collating paperwork
as part of our evidence.
471
00:27:59,170 --> 00:28:01,570
I believe that paperwork
is now in your possession.
472
00:28:03,170 --> 00:28:06,210
Greg? Greg's a mole for the FBI?
473
00:28:06,210 --> 00:28:09,250
Keep your goddamn voice down.
Never say that out loud again.
474
00:28:09,250 --> 00:28:11,930
Who put you up to this? Was it Grunter?
475
00:28:11,930 --> 00:28:13,850
Or Nadger? I bet it
was Nadger, wasn't it?
476
00:28:13,850 --> 00:28:17,890
Sometime soon, law enforcement will
be walking into your place of work
477
00:28:17,890 --> 00:28:21,410
and marching people out in handcuffs!
478
00:28:21,410 --> 00:28:26,010
Ask me again if I'm joking.
479
00:28:27,050 --> 00:28:28,250
Where's the paperwork?
480
00:28:28,250 --> 00:28:30,330
- Yes, the...
- Do you speak English?
481
00:28:30,330 --> 00:28:31,635
- Yes... yes.
- Where's the paperwork?
482
00:28:31,636 --> 00:28:32,690
It's in my car.
483
00:28:32,690 --> 00:28:34,650
- Easy. Let's go.
- OK.
484
00:28:36,410 --> 00:28:38,530
- Rita, knock, knock.
- Greg.
485
00:28:38,530 --> 00:28:40,770
I wonder if I can have a
quick chat with you about
486
00:28:40,770 --> 00:28:42,570
a hypothetical HR scenario?
487
00:28:42,570 --> 00:28:45,890
Erm, I'm actually on my lunch
hour at the moment, Greg.
488
00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:47,490
I can come back.
489
00:28:47,490 --> 00:28:50,290
No, it's fine, HR's always open.
490
00:28:50,290 --> 00:28:51,910
- OK, thank you, thank you.
- Come on in.
491
00:28:51,911 --> 00:28:53,725
- Erm...
- Do you mind just sitting down there,
492
00:28:53,726 --> 00:28:56,850
please, Greg? 'Cos it's a bit...
looming over me like a ghost.
493
00:28:56,851 --> 00:28:58,151
Yeah, sorry.
494
00:28:59,090 --> 00:29:03,610
Just wondering if, hypothetically,
a gentleman who works in
495
00:29:03,610 --> 00:29:05,970
the office has had conversations with
496
00:29:05,970 --> 00:29:08,170
a woman who also works in the office.
497
00:29:08,170 --> 00:29:10,130
OK. Work conversations?
498
00:29:10,130 --> 00:29:13,250
Sometimes work, you know, but
other just general chit-chat.
499
00:29:13,250 --> 00:29:14,610
About what?
500
00:29:14,610 --> 00:29:18,090
The weather, rambling
in the Peak District.
501
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,530
Roger Federer's thighs. Erm...
502
00:29:20,530 --> 00:29:22,930
Where have these conversations
taken place, please?
503
00:29:22,930 --> 00:29:25,570
Different places. Erm, lift,
504
00:29:25,570 --> 00:29:27,770
kitchen, sometimes at the woman's desk.
505
00:29:27,770 --> 00:29:32,890
OK. Has the gentleman
in question perched on
506
00:29:32,890 --> 00:29:34,810
the lady's desk at any point?
507
00:29:34,810 --> 00:29:36,330
- There might've been a perch.
- Mm-hm?
508
00:29:36,330 --> 00:29:39,490
Just hop up there for me a
moment, would you, please?
509
00:29:42,790 --> 00:29:46,330
Right. So you can see
what's happening here? Hmm?
510
00:29:46,330 --> 00:29:48,770
- What's happening?
- What's the lady's having to look at when
511
00:29:48,770 --> 00:29:51,450
the gentleman sits
like that on her desk.
512
00:29:51,450 --> 00:29:54,730
The gentleman's groin is
at the lady's eye level.
513
00:29:55,650 --> 00:29:59,610
OK. Pop yourself back
down, please, Greg.
514
00:29:59,610 --> 00:30:01,810
This is ringing a lot of alarm bells.
515
00:30:01,810 --> 00:30:04,110
Erm, is the gentleman
superior to the lady?
516
00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:05,980
No, he's got very low self-esteem.
517
00:30:05,980 --> 00:30:08,180
No, I mean in job title or rank.
518
00:30:08,180 --> 00:30:10,660
Well, I think he's
marginally superior, I think.
519
00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:13,900
Right. Yeah. That will
put him in the red zone.
520
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,780
And what is a red zone?
521
00:30:16,780 --> 00:30:19,940
The red zone is where HR would
have to consider the man's position.
522
00:30:19,940 --> 00:30:21,180
Oh, wow. Blimey.
523
00:30:21,180 --> 00:30:23,980
Just to be totally clear,
hypothetically, the man
524
00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:26,220
couldn't make any kind
of overture to the woman?
525
00:30:26,220 --> 00:30:28,260
What, in the hope of
a sexual relationship?
526
00:30:28,260 --> 00:30:30,180
- Yes, please.
- No, absolutely not, no.
527
00:30:30,180 --> 00:30:33,260
So he couldn't, say, ask her
out for a drink or anything?
528
00:30:33,260 --> 00:30:36,820
No, definitely not.
If this guy works here,
529
00:30:36,820 --> 00:30:39,980
which it sounds like he does,
whoever he may be, then he would
530
00:30:39,980 --> 00:30:43,700
have read our company policy on
sexual and romantic relationships.
531
00:30:43,700 --> 00:30:46,460
What if he started reading that
and he found it heavy going,
532
00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:48,820
so instead, he watched some
golfing bloopers on YouTube?
533
00:30:48,820 --> 00:30:51,660
Well, then he won't know that even
consensual relationships between
534
00:30:51,660 --> 00:30:55,620
colleagues can lead to
disciplinary action or dismissal.
535
00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:57,100
Dismissal?
536
00:30:59,260 --> 00:31:02,620
- Hi, Greg, I'm grabbing a sandwich. Do you want one?
- No!
537
00:31:06,980 --> 00:31:09,100
- This is all of it?
- Yeah.
538
00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:12,500
I assume I don't need to
tell you that everything
539
00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:14,620
I've said is confidential.
540
00:31:14,620 --> 00:31:17,140
You don't even discuss
it with Greg Dillard.
541
00:31:17,140 --> 00:31:20,020
You've got them now, so come on,
tell me, is this real, or what?
542
00:31:20,020 --> 00:31:22,500
Stay in Greg Dillard's
good books, though,
543
00:31:22,500 --> 00:31:24,980
'cos when the shit hits the fan
544
00:31:24,980 --> 00:31:28,180
and he starts pointing fingers,
545
00:31:28,180 --> 00:31:32,580
you don't want him pointing at you.
546
00:31:32,580 --> 00:31:35,420
Now you need to call me a cab.
547
00:31:35,420 --> 00:31:40,980
Yes, yeah, of course. Do
you want an Uber XL or Lux?
548
00:31:42,540 --> 00:31:45,500
Yeah, we'll go Lux. A bit nicer for you.
549
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:49,540
Seven minutes.
550
00:31:49,540 --> 00:31:51,500
I ain't pleading guilty, bro.
551
00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:53,131
- Then you'll do twice the prison time.
- Listen,
552
00:31:53,132 --> 00:31:56,260
I got too much stuff going on right
now to be sitting in a prison cell.
553
00:31:56,260 --> 00:31:58,340
You violated your
probation, you're going down,
554
00:31:58,340 --> 00:32:00,020
there's nothing I can do about that.
555
00:32:00,020 --> 00:32:01,360
What I can do is reduce
the amount of time you do.
556
00:32:01,460 --> 00:32:03,531
- Tea?
- Can I make you one in a minute?
557
00:32:03,532 --> 00:32:04,601
I'm just in the middle of something.
558
00:32:04,602 --> 00:32:08,480
Sorry, I'm asking, would
you like a cup of tea?
559
00:32:08,980 --> 00:32:11,020
- Yes, please.
- Pleasure, chap. Would you like one?
560
00:32:11,020 --> 00:32:12,660
Got any ginseng?
561
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:18,260
All right,
562
00:32:18,260 --> 00:32:20,620
so how long am I looking
at if I plead not guilty?
563
00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:22,700
A year, maybe two. But plead guilty,
564
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:24,700
- I can get that down to a few months.
- A few months?
565
00:32:26,100 --> 00:32:28,740
What kind of waste man lawyer, are you?
566
00:32:28,740 --> 00:32:33,220
Bad news, no ginseng.
But I do have mint,
567
00:32:33,220 --> 00:32:35,460
green, lapsang souchong,
568
00:32:35,460 --> 00:32:39,140
oolong, or lemon
ginger and manuka honey.
569
00:32:40,620 --> 00:32:42,020
Surprise me.
570
00:32:42,020 --> 00:32:43,660
Biscuit? Biscuit?
571
00:32:43,660 --> 00:32:44,820
I'll have a biscuit.
572
00:32:44,820 --> 00:32:46,460
No, I'm good, bro.
573
00:32:46,460 --> 00:32:48,420
One biscuit for Gregolas, my liege.
574
00:32:54,020 --> 00:32:55,780
So what are you going to do?
575
00:33:04,580 --> 00:33:07,460
High-pockets,
576
00:33:07,460 --> 00:33:10,420
you were up shit creek
but I found you a paddle.
577
00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:20,580
You got it back? Thank
you, thank you so much.
578
00:33:20,580 --> 00:33:23,500
- Comes with a few strings attached.
- I knew it would, I knew it would,
579
00:33:23,500 --> 00:33:26,100
when you presented it like a
quiz show. I'm not doing any more
580
00:33:26,100 --> 00:33:28,640
money laundering, I told you that
already. I can't handle another
581
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,580
criminal conviction or another
flaky crotch, so do your worst.
582
00:33:31,580 --> 00:33:34,260
- I'd rather take my chances.
- Fine! Here, take it.
583
00:33:35,540 --> 00:33:40,100
But... say goodbye to Rani and Ben.
584
00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:42,540
Why, you leaving early? Half day?
585
00:33:42,540 --> 00:33:45,060
No, they're dead. You just killed them.
586
00:33:45,060 --> 00:33:46,500
What are you talking about?
587
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:48,100
This gangster up in London,
588
00:33:48,100 --> 00:33:50,580
we need to repay back
all his dough and wash it,
589
00:33:50,580 --> 00:33:54,180
or he's going to clip them
and everybody they care about.
590
00:33:54,180 --> 00:33:56,950
Clip them? Who's this gangster
- Edward G Robinson?
591
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,390
We're behind the eight ball
here. We need your help.
592
00:33:59,391 --> 00:34:00,780
Is he serious?
593
00:34:00,780 --> 00:34:02,380
Yeah.
594
00:34:02,380 --> 00:34:04,980
- I thought the money was spent?
- We're going to earn it back.
595
00:34:04,981 --> 00:34:05,990
How?
596
00:34:05,991 --> 00:34:08,300
Running Christian Taylor's
operation while he's inside.
597
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:10,820
- Jesus Christ!
- None of us want to be doing this.
598
00:34:10,820 --> 00:34:12,140
No.
599
00:34:12,140 --> 00:34:14,460
- We're in trouble, mate.
- Big trouble.
600
00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:30,060
Good. OK.
601
00:34:31,420 --> 00:34:36,020
All right, so his customer
base is loyal, but it's small.
602
00:34:36,020 --> 00:34:38,900
If we're going to make
anywhere near the money we
603
00:34:38,900 --> 00:34:42,100
need to make in the time we
have, we need to find new markets,
604
00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:43,420
new customers, and we
need to do it quick.
605
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:45,680
- How do we do that?
- Marketing.
606
00:34:45,681 --> 00:34:47,150
- Marketing?
- Yeah.
607
00:34:47,151 --> 00:34:49,720
We have to find people
who would buy drugs,
608
00:34:49,721 --> 00:34:51,600
and we need to let them
know that we are here
609
00:34:51,601 --> 00:34:52,780
and we are open for business.
610
00:34:52,780 --> 00:34:55,060
Oh, what, so we just put an
advert in Yellow Pages, yeah?
611
00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:57,300
"Class A drugs available".
Oh, no, I tell you what,
612
00:34:57,300 --> 00:35:01,420
let's put, "Class AAA," and then
we'll go straight to the front.
613
00:35:01,420 --> 00:35:03,460
Obviously, we can't run adverts.
614
00:35:03,460 --> 00:35:05,740
How do companies
normally reach customers?
615
00:35:05,740 --> 00:35:08,780
Direct marketing. But that
involves mailing lists,
616
00:35:08,780 --> 00:35:11,460
names, numbers, email addresses.
617
00:35:11,460 --> 00:35:13,300
BJC must have a mailing list.
618
00:35:13,300 --> 00:35:16,340
No. No way are we targeting my people.
619
00:35:16,340 --> 00:35:18,940
Well, you know, you leftie
hypocrites, you're actually
620
00:35:18,940 --> 00:35:20,660
the perfect kind of customer.
621
00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:22,780
You won't touch palm oil
because of deforestation
622
00:35:22,780 --> 00:35:24,553
but you'll happily snort cocaine
623
00:35:24,554 --> 00:35:27,380
that's been up some
poor peasant's mimsy.
624
00:35:27,380 --> 00:35:30,080
Firstly, there is no way I'm
exploiting 40 years of trust
625
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:34,420
in the BJC, and secondly, "mimsy"?
626
00:35:34,420 --> 00:35:37,460
So what other choice do we have?
No-one wants to be doing this.
627
00:35:37,460 --> 00:35:39,020
What about Gabby?
628
00:35:39,020 --> 00:35:41,300
Surely everyone in her phone
is a potential customer.
629
00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:44,300
What about her music festival?
Isn't there a mailing list for that?
630
00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:47,140
- I'm not bringing Gabby into this.
- You don't have to bring her into it,
631
00:35:47,140 --> 00:35:49,100
you just have to get the
details off her phone.
632
00:35:49,100 --> 00:35:50,500
And you live with her,
633
00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:52,140
so I'm sure that should be easy enough.
634
00:35:52,140 --> 00:35:54,220
Well, what about you?
You work in a nightclub!
635
00:35:54,220 --> 00:35:57,530
- I bet their mailing list is full of drug heads.
- No, no, my manager is proper paranoid.
636
00:35:57,531 --> 00:35:59,860
He keeps his office door locked,
computer password protected,
637
00:35:59,860 --> 00:36:04,460
- there's no way I'd get in there.
- Find a way.
638
00:36:04,460 --> 00:36:07,220
You get Gabby's mailing
list. You get the BJC's.
639
00:36:07,220 --> 00:36:09,260
How? It's on Claire's computer.
640
00:36:09,260 --> 00:36:12,300
- Figure it out.
- Who put you in charge?
641
00:36:12,300 --> 00:36:14,340
What are you going to contribute?
642
00:36:20,260 --> 00:36:24,780
Students. Students, they
love to party, don't they?
643
00:36:24,780 --> 00:36:27,540
We have a major university
right here in the city,
644
00:36:27,540 --> 00:36:30,860
that is 20,000 potential
buyers right there.
645
00:36:30,860 --> 00:36:33,460
- But none of us are students.
- No, but you look like you are.
646
00:37:19,020 --> 00:37:21,120
Who do I speak to about volunteering?
647
00:37:22,220 --> 00:37:24,340
You take every sausage
648
00:37:24,340 --> 00:37:26,460
the average person would
eat in their lifetime,
649
00:37:26,460 --> 00:37:29,420
put it together, it would
actually reach to the moon.
650
00:37:29,420 --> 00:37:32,580
You need to watch a
documentary called Food, Inc...
651
00:37:32,580 --> 00:37:35,980
you will never eat meat again.
I won't go near the stuff,
652
00:37:35,980 --> 00:37:37,260
it's the smoking of today.
653
00:37:37,260 --> 00:37:40,220
Excuse me, are you
organising the frat party?
654
00:37:40,220 --> 00:37:43,180
That was my idea. You missed
the early-bird wristbands, OK?
655
00:37:43,180 --> 00:37:44,420
Tickets are now 35 a pop.
656
00:37:44,420 --> 00:37:45,780
You'll get two free Jaegers
657
00:37:45,780 --> 00:37:47,150
and entry to the wet
T-shirt competition,
658
00:37:47,151 --> 00:37:49,660
where the contestants... all men.
659
00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:53,160
Erm, I was hoping I could volunteer?
660
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,740
Yeah? You can... man a hose?
661
00:37:56,740 --> 00:37:59,660
No, with the organisation of the party.
662
00:37:59,660 --> 00:38:02,980
Most freshers just want to get wasted.
663
00:38:02,980 --> 00:38:07,300
Not me. I enjoy planning
more than partying.
664
00:38:20,180 --> 00:38:23,660
This is Greg, he works for
Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe.
665
00:38:24,580 --> 00:38:26,340
She comes in here... a lot.
666
00:38:26,340 --> 00:38:27,980
Well, milady's got great taste.
667
00:38:27,980 --> 00:38:30,460
Not if she comes in here, she doesn't.
668
00:38:30,460 --> 00:38:32,940
- But she does have a great arse.
- I'll be sure to pass that on.
669
00:38:32,940 --> 00:38:35,300
I don't know if you're aware
that, aside from her arse,
670
00:38:35,300 --> 00:38:37,660
she's also got 1.2 million
followers on social media.
671
00:38:37,660 --> 00:38:40,340
I don't use the internet much,
672
00:38:40,340 --> 00:38:42,460
except for sports results and wanking.
673
00:38:42,460 --> 00:38:44,220
Well, it's good to have hobbies.
674
00:38:44,220 --> 00:38:47,340
Can I suggest you give Her
Ladyship a quick Google?
675
00:38:47,340 --> 00:38:50,380
I think you'd be quite
interested in what you find.
676
00:38:58,860 --> 00:39:03,700
Is Lady Gabby single? Because
my wife's just left me, OK?
677
00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:07,740
I'm on the hunt and she is
right up my street: classy.
678
00:39:07,740 --> 00:39:10,620
Well, Lady Gabby's actually a
member of the LGBT community.
679
00:39:10,620 --> 00:39:13,180
What, she's a lezza? What a waste.
680
00:39:13,180 --> 00:39:15,740
Yup. Or you'd have been in with a shot.
681
00:39:15,740 --> 00:39:18,180
Not very ladylike, is she, Her Ladyship,
682
00:39:18,180 --> 00:39:21,620
smashing up cars, keying cars.
What's she got against cars?
683
00:39:21,620 --> 00:39:23,500
Well, she's what we call "edgy".
684
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:25,420
Well, round here we'd call her a bitch.
685
00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:27,300
Well, I'll be sure to pass that on.
686
00:39:27,300 --> 00:39:29,020
What's your proposition?
687
00:39:29,020 --> 00:39:31,180
Well, what if Her Ladyship
was to tell her 1.2 million
688
00:39:31,180 --> 00:39:32,660
followers that she's going to make
689
00:39:32,660 --> 00:39:36,500
a live personal performance
in your club this evening?
690
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:39,580
To do what? Wave and stuff?
691
00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:43,220
How much?
692
00:40:10,860 --> 00:40:13,500
Look after my Range like
it's your own nut sack.
693
00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:15,890
I see so much as a crisp
wrapper in the cup holder,
694
00:40:16,291 --> 00:40:17,660
it's peak for you.
695
00:40:18,860 --> 00:40:23,240
Guard that line with your life,
because it's worth way more.
696
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:27,400
- You feel me?
- Yeah, I feel you.
697
00:40:44,660 --> 00:40:48,140
Peoples say she destroyed
the welfare state.
698
00:40:48,140 --> 00:40:51,220
Public spending went up
every year under Thatcher.
699
00:40:51,220 --> 00:40:55,020
In '82 to '83, the Government
was spending 48% of GDP.
700
00:40:55,020 --> 00:40:58,340
That's more than in any year
under Tony Blair or Gordon Brown.
701
00:41:00,620 --> 00:41:06,620
Thanks, Tom. Poor bloke,
what's he... like, 60?
702
00:41:06,980 --> 00:41:09,580
If I wind up doing that when
I'm his age, shoot me, yeah?
703
00:41:13,100 --> 00:41:14,900
What's wrong with what he's doing?
704
00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:17,780
No, nothing. I just think that one
can aspire to a little bit more than
705
00:41:17,780 --> 00:41:20,460
- collecting other people's crap all your life.
- Why?
706
00:41:20,460 --> 00:41:22,420
If all you did every
day was mop latrines,
707
00:41:22,420 --> 00:41:26,940
empty bins for minimum wage,
why wouldn't you shoot yourself?
708
00:41:26,940 --> 00:41:29,020
What are you studying?
709
00:41:29,020 --> 00:41:31,260
I'm doing a PhD in
Applied Microeconomics.
710
00:41:31,260 --> 00:41:33,980
- And what are you going to do when you finish?
- Write, teach,
711
00:41:33,980 --> 00:41:36,780
I'd like to be an
academic, like my father.
712
00:41:36,780 --> 00:41:41,500
Right, so you're going to spend
five years studying Microeconomics,
713
00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:46,500
then write some obscure
academic textbook that half
714
00:41:46,500 --> 00:41:48,700
a dozen people will read,
715
00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:51,580
and then spend your life
teaching Microeconomics
716
00:41:51,580 --> 00:41:54,060
so that other people can do
the same thing, is that right?
717
00:41:54,060 --> 00:41:56,500
You're saying academia's
not a worthy pursuit?
718
00:41:56,500 --> 00:41:59,420
I'm saying that academia's
masturbation in a corduroy jacket.
719
00:42:01,420 --> 00:42:03,820
What are you going to
do with your life, then?
720
00:42:03,820 --> 00:42:06,220
- I don't know.
- That's not an answer.
721
00:42:06,420 --> 00:42:09,100
It's honest. I don't know.
722
00:42:09,100 --> 00:42:12,860
I just know I want to
live, like, really live.
723
00:42:14,580 --> 00:42:16,020
I get that.
724
00:42:16,020 --> 00:42:20,620
I just got back from inter-railing.
Never felt more alive.
725
00:42:22,100 --> 00:42:24,900
Laurence Chartney, by
the way, Union President.
726
00:42:26,100 --> 00:42:28,260
Rani Rekowski.
727
00:42:28,260 --> 00:42:30,820
Is there anything else I can help with?
728
00:42:30,820 --> 00:42:32,740
I'm actually really good at computers.
729
00:42:32,740 --> 00:42:35,060
Oh, actually, yes.
730
00:42:36,740 --> 00:42:40,780
One, two. Check, one, two.
731
00:42:40,780 --> 00:42:44,220
Oh, let me take that
for you, Your Ladyship.
732
00:42:44,220 --> 00:42:47,940
Feel free to leave anything you
like in here, it's very secure.
733
00:42:47,940 --> 00:42:50,059
You could even get changed
in here, if you like,
734
00:42:50,060 --> 00:42:51,540
that camera don't work.
735
00:42:51,540 --> 00:42:56,300
When you chatted about us
on your Twitter and whatnot,
736
00:42:56,300 --> 00:42:58,380
we sold over 80% of our tickets.
737
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,700
In one hour, this place
will be chock-a-block
738
00:43:00,701 --> 00:43:04,900
- with over 2,000 people, all here to see you.
- 2,000?
739
00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:08,620
Yeah, all getting pissed up, hopefully.
740
00:43:08,620 --> 00:43:09,660
And what do I have to do?
741
00:43:09,660 --> 00:43:13,060
Just walk on the stage, wave
and give away some T-shirts.
742
00:43:13,060 --> 00:43:16,700
- On that stage?
- Yeah.
743
00:43:17,660 --> 00:43:19,340
Let's talk financials.
744
00:43:54,620 --> 00:43:57,060
You weren't lying, nice work.
745
00:43:57,060 --> 00:43:59,380
Next, could you consolidate this
746
00:43:59,380 --> 00:44:01,860
- into one super column for me?
- Uh-huh.
747
00:44:03,660 --> 00:44:06,420
You know, if there's something you
need to, you know, get on with...
748
00:44:06,420 --> 00:44:09,340
Hey, thanks for really giving it
to me earlier, no holds barred.
749
00:44:09,340 --> 00:44:11,940
You know, there's a lot of
smart people in this place
750
00:44:11,940 --> 00:44:14,260
but most of them struggle to
keep up with me. But not you.
751
00:44:14,260 --> 00:44:17,300
- Mm.
- So, namaste.
752
00:44:17,300 --> 00:44:19,100
Namaste.
753
00:44:19,100 --> 00:44:20,580
Can I ask you a personal question?
754
00:44:20,580 --> 00:44:23,540
Shut me down immediately
if this is out of order,
755
00:44:23,540 --> 00:44:27,580
but I would love to converse
further. Can I get your deets?
756
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,060
- My deets?
- It's short for details.
757
00:44:31,060 --> 00:44:32,120
Not by much.
758
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:36,260
- What do you say?
- Yeah, OK, sure.
759
00:44:36,260 --> 00:44:40,060
Great. So what are you
studying here, by the way?
760
00:44:40,060 --> 00:44:42,660
Erm, Mathematics and Physics.
761
00:44:42,660 --> 00:44:44,780
Yeah? I did Maths as my undergrad.
762
00:44:44,780 --> 00:44:48,100
- Really? Did you? That's great.
- How are you finding it so far?
763
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,410
Professor Sturridge is a
bit of a hard arse, right?
764
00:44:50,411 --> 00:44:56,411
- Is he? I hadn't noticed.
- SHE is.
765
00:44:56,660 --> 00:44:58,340
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
766
00:44:58,340 --> 00:45:00,020
Sorry, she seems kind of blokeish to me.
767
00:45:00,020 --> 00:45:01,660
Mm.
768
00:45:04,180 --> 00:45:06,700
We're going to head to
the bar for some drinks
769
00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:08,700
and I think you should join.
770
00:45:08,700 --> 00:45:12,860
Yeah, I just really want
to break the back of this,
771
00:45:12,860 --> 00:45:15,620
- but then I'll be straight down.
- That's a great work ethic.
772
00:45:15,620 --> 00:45:17,740
- Mm.
- Whatever it is you choose to do in life...
773
00:45:17,740 --> 00:45:20,420
... I can tell you're going to crush it.
774
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:26,420
I'll see you down there.
775
00:45:35,340 --> 00:45:39,700
Mailing list, come on.
776
00:45:41,180 --> 00:45:43,740
Well, there isn't that much time...
777
00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:48,620
What is it?
778
00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:50,820
John, I'm at the you-know-where,
779
00:45:50,820 --> 00:45:53,690
trying to get the you-know-what
off of Claire's computer.
780
00:45:53,700 --> 00:45:56,020
- Lovely. Why are you calling me?
- Because I don't use computers.
781
00:45:56,020 --> 00:45:59,380
I've just literally spent
the last 45 minutes trying
782
00:45:59,380 --> 00:46:02,260
to turn the damn thing on!
Where's the mailing list?
783
00:46:02,260 --> 00:46:04,020
How can I possibly know that?
784
00:46:04,020 --> 00:46:06,100
Well, you use computers, don't you?
785
00:46:06,100 --> 00:46:09,500
Yeah, I have. Not that exact one.
786
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,260
- What's on the screen?
- A waterfall.
787
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,800
- OK, are there folders with the waterfall?
- Folders?
788
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,680
Yeah, the little icons
that look like folders.
789
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:21,080
No, there are no folders, I just
told you, it's just a waterfall.
790
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:25,160
- Then you're looking at a screensaver.
- A what?
791
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:31,080
Ladies and gentlemen, Lady
Gabriella Penrose-Howe!
792
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,560
She's on, what's she waiting for?
793
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,440
She's just getting in the
zone. Give her a second.
794
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:41,120
- Do you know what a mouse is?
- Yes, yes, I know what a mouse is.
795
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:42,320
Jiggle it!
796
00:46:44,700 --> 00:46:47,400
Ooh! Right. Yes. Now,
that's done something.
797
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,640
So now the screen is purple and grey
798
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,080
and there are lots of little folders.
799
00:46:54,290 --> 00:46:55,650
Now what?
800
00:47:00,010 --> 00:47:03,290
Look for one that says "mailing list"
- or something like that.
801
00:47:03,290 --> 00:47:06,730
My pork chop is getting
cold, by the way.
802
00:47:06,730 --> 00:47:08,890
"Mail out". Right,
803
00:47:08,890 --> 00:47:11,170
there's one called "mail
out". Could that be it?
804
00:47:11,170 --> 00:47:13,210
- Could be.
- Now what?
805
00:47:13,210 --> 00:47:14,970
Now drag and drop it onto your USB.
806
00:47:19,290 --> 00:47:22,050
- Are you ready?
- I can't do it.
807
00:47:22,050 --> 00:47:24,210
Yeah, you can. He's
paying you 1,500 quid.
808
00:47:24,210 --> 00:47:27,370
Per club. And he's got five clubs.
That's seven-and-a-half grand.
809
00:47:27,370 --> 00:47:29,530
Almost pays off your bar tab.
810
00:47:29,530 --> 00:47:31,290
What does drag and drop mean?
811
00:47:31,290 --> 00:47:34,050
Christ! My mother-in-law can
drag and drop, she's 92 and blind.
812
00:47:34,050 --> 00:47:36,010
Just put the arrow over the folder.
813
00:47:36,110 --> 00:47:40,210
Put the arrow, put the
arrow... How do I do that?
814
00:47:40,210 --> 00:47:43,810
With the mouse! Put the arrow
over the folder with the mouse!
815
00:47:43,810 --> 00:47:46,970
Do not fucking shout at me.
816
00:47:51,410 --> 00:47:52,730
Hi, Imran. Hi.
817
00:47:52,730 --> 00:47:54,850
This may be nothing,
818
00:47:54,850 --> 00:47:57,730
but this new fresher's just
volunteered at the student union
819
00:47:57,730 --> 00:48:00,370
and something smells
a bit off about her.
820
00:48:00,670 --> 00:48:03,010
Do you mind just searching to see
if she's actually a student here?
821
00:48:03,010 --> 00:48:05,930
Her name is Rani Rekowski.
822
00:48:07,250 --> 00:48:11,450
Oh, damn! I left my phone
in my coat in your office.
823
00:48:12,410 --> 00:48:14,410
No, it's cool. I'll go.
824
00:48:14,410 --> 00:48:16,090
Oh, cheers.
825
00:48:25,620 --> 00:48:30,020
The arrow is now over
the folder. Now what?
826
00:48:30,020 --> 00:48:33,580
Now press and hold the
button on the mouse.
827
00:48:33,580 --> 00:48:35,260
Right.
828
00:48:43,860 --> 00:48:48,020
B-I-G.
829
00:48:48,020 --> 00:48:51,100
"Big jugs," got it.
830
00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:52,780
Come on.
831
00:49:06,300 --> 00:49:08,900
Yes.
832
00:49:08,900 --> 00:49:12,420
Without releasing the
button, drag it into your USB.
833
00:49:13,460 --> 00:49:15,940
- What is a USB?
- What's a US... ?
834
00:49:18,940 --> 00:49:21,340
There's no trace of her... anywhere.
835
00:49:21,340 --> 00:49:24,980
Will you come with me while I
have a little conflab with her?
836
00:49:24,980 --> 00:49:26,620
Come on!
837
00:49:26,620 --> 00:49:29,820
How many eggs do you have a week?
838
00:49:29,820 --> 00:49:33,540
It's frozen. Come on. Come on.
839
00:49:33,540 --> 00:49:36,580
Six, seven, exactly,
this is the problem.
840
00:49:36,580 --> 00:49:38,780
Stay where you are, I'm coming over.
841
00:49:38,780 --> 00:49:41,020
OK. Good.
842
00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:42,460
Oh!
843
00:49:42,460 --> 00:49:45,940
Watch this documentary,
you'll never eat meat again.
844
00:49:47,780 --> 00:49:50,100
Come on. OK.
845
00:50:14,340 --> 00:50:17,260
Can I get a triple
vodka with tonic, please?
846
00:50:17,260 --> 00:50:18,780
In fact, just hold the tonic.
847
00:50:18,780 --> 00:50:22,100
Of course, I'll stick it on your tab.
848
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,220
Is that wise? No drink
or drugs, remember?
849
00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:26,330
- I need it.
- No, you don't.
850
00:50:26,330 --> 00:50:28,330
I can't go out there
sober. I don't sing,
851
00:50:28,330 --> 00:50:30,050
I don't dance, I don't act,
852
00:50:30,050 --> 00:50:32,130
I don't do anything,
I'm like an appendix!
853
00:50:32,130 --> 00:50:33,530
It doesn't matter.
854
00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:35,323
They just want to stare
at you and take pictures,
855
00:50:35,324 --> 00:50:36,800
like an accident on the motorway.
856
00:50:36,801 --> 00:50:38,530
- Really?
- Yeah.
857
00:50:38,531 --> 00:50:41,000
Just think of yourself
as a family of four
858
00:50:41,001 --> 00:50:42,690
who have had a head-on
collision with an 18-wheeler.
859
00:50:42,690 --> 00:50:45,530
Yeah, good. This is this is making
me feel better. Keep talking.
860
00:50:45,530 --> 00:50:47,170
They've cut out Mum and the kids,
861
00:50:47,170 --> 00:50:49,130
but it doesn't look like
Dad's going to make it.
862
00:51:37,890 --> 00:51:39,650
What's up, darlings?
863
00:51:41,650 --> 00:51:45,450
How are we all tonight?
864
00:51:45,450 --> 00:51:48,050
Who wants some free shit?
865
00:51:50,210 --> 00:51:53,050
You can shout a bit louder,
who wants some free shit?
866
00:52:39,130 --> 00:52:42,690
It's going to take hours to
text all the numbers we've got.
867
00:52:42,790 --> 00:52:45,330
No, it won't. We can automate
and SMS mailout from this laptop.
868
00:52:45,330 --> 00:52:46,650
I did a quick Google search
869
00:52:46,650 --> 00:52:48,930
and found some open-source
robot-text software.
870
00:52:48,930 --> 00:52:50,050
What did she just say?
871
00:52:50,050 --> 00:52:51,930
So what's our message going to be?
872
00:52:51,930 --> 00:52:54,290
"Oh, hi there, we've got
some lovely cocaine for sale"?
873
00:52:54,290 --> 00:52:56,810
- We need code words.
- What about "grown-up sweeties"?
874
00:52:56,810 --> 00:52:59,090
Well, that just sounds
paedo-y, doesn't it?
875
00:52:59,090 --> 00:53:00,890
We need a euphemism that appeals
876
00:53:00,890 --> 00:53:05,050
to middle-class users who get
the cocaine out at dinner parties.
877
00:53:05,050 --> 00:53:07,050
Colombian After Eights?
878
00:53:07,050 --> 00:53:10,220
- Throw in the words "Fairtrade" and "organic".
- No can do.
879
00:53:10,390 --> 00:53:11,457
If you call a product organic
880
00:53:11,457 --> 00:53:13,100
when it hasn't been
certified by an official body,
881
00:53:13,101 --> 00:53:14,220
you're actually breaking the law.
882
00:53:14,230 --> 00:53:16,950
Oh? Right, 'cos we don't want
our cocaine breaking the law.
883
00:53:16,950 --> 00:53:18,910
This is never going to work. What,
884
00:53:18,910 --> 00:53:21,790
we're just going to send out spam
and hope that someone replies?
885
00:53:21,790 --> 00:53:25,510
Listen, flyers, cold-calling, you're
looking at a 2-3% success rate.
886
00:53:25,510 --> 00:53:27,070
What about referrals?
887
00:53:27,070 --> 00:53:28,470
40-50%.
888
00:53:28,470 --> 00:53:31,750
OK, so we just need a few bites
to get word-of-mouth going.
889
00:53:31,750 --> 00:53:34,070
And what if we accidentally
message a policeman?
890
00:53:34,070 --> 00:53:36,430
Well, no policeman's making
extra work for themselves
891
00:53:36,430 --> 00:53:37,990
by chasing down an anonymous text.
892
00:53:37,990 --> 00:53:39,870
Well, what if we accidentally message
893
00:53:39,870 --> 00:53:42,030
a do-gooder who then
notifies a policeman?
894
00:53:42,030 --> 00:53:43,070
Myrns, do you notify
895
00:53:43,070 --> 00:53:46,990
a policeman every time you get spam
email from some Nigerian prince?
896
00:53:46,990 --> 00:53:48,590
Don't...
897
00:53:48,590 --> 00:53:50,830
And we're using burner
phones, so they won't be able
898
00:53:50,830 --> 00:53:52,310
to trace them back to us.
899
00:53:52,410 --> 00:53:55,410
- Coffee.
- I'd love a coffee, mate, thanks.
900
00:53:55,410 --> 00:53:57,450
No, as our code words.
901
00:53:57,451 --> 00:54:00,670
"Flat white" for coke,
"espresso" for crack.
902
00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:03,840
"Single shot, double shot
- how many bags you want?"
903
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:09,160
- Sounds good.
- Yeah, it's good. It's a good idea, yeah.
904
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,800
Godspeed.
905
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:49,760
- Shall we order some actual coffees?
- Yeah, good shout.
906
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:54,120
Oh, shit the bed!
907
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:03,880
What's your need?
908
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:08,240
- This message, is it what I think it is?
- It is.
909
00:55:08,240 --> 00:55:09,840
How do I know you're not police?
910
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,240
Well, unless you're planning
on buying a couple of kilos,
911
00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:14,320
the police aren't interested in you.
912
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:17,480
Fair enough. Two flat whites
and a double espresso, please.
913
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:20,400
Where are you at?
914
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,160
Makepeace Avenue.
915
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:24,800
Someone will be along
shortly. Tell your friends.
916
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:27,840
- OK.
- Bye. Oh.
917
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,920
Yes!
918
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,960
Hello? Yeah, what do you want?
919
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,040
Where are you at?
920
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:58,000
What coffees do you require?
921
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,240
Where are you?
922
00:56:16,240 --> 00:56:17,720
- Where are you at?
- Where are you?
923
00:56:17,921 --> 00:56:18,921
Where are you?
924
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,808
What are you wearing? I
don't mean that in a sexy way,
925
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:25,900
I just mean what you're
wearing, so we can identify you.
926
00:56:25,910 --> 00:56:28,970
OK, one second. I'll
be with you in a second.
927
00:56:29,070 --> 00:56:30,510
OK, great.
928
00:56:32,390 --> 00:56:33,950
It gets you buzzed up.
929
00:56:35,630 --> 00:56:36,990
Spread the word, OK?
930
00:56:48,700 --> 00:56:53,700
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
74694
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