Original subtitles

Hey.

Who, me?

Just a minute.

Yeah, sure.

You crazy lobo!

Shut up and roll!

Don't keep saying I'm late.

I haven't said a word.

No, but you're thinking it.

Oh, and get my hat.

It's on the bed or bureau.

Okay.

Oh, and if it's on the bed, don't tell me.

Oh, Mike!

Mmm.

4 years.

Count 'em.

Better every day.

Yeah.

- Hey, Gloria? - Mmm?

With all those other guys you had hanging around you,

why did you marry me?

That's the how-many-eth time you've asked me that.

Yeah, I know, I know.

But I want to know. Why did you marry me?

We'll be late.

You know, we don't have to go out.

No. We don't?

I, uh, married you for your money.

Yeah?

No.

Mmm...

Hello?

Yeah, speaking.

What?

Yeah, I'll meet you there right away.

Yeah. Well, bring him along.

Might as well start him right in.

Okay.

Gloria, will you stop tossing that gun around?

How many times do I have to tell you?

It's built to fire.

Blast a hole in your head

that you'd never see, but I would.

Here, roll them for luck.

What for?

They come up 7 every time, don't they?

They're loaded that way, aren't they?

Yeah, yeah. But I like to see you roll them.

Go on.

7.

Hey. Hey, Glory.

I hate that phone.

I know, I know, so do I.

But come on, let's get rid of that coat hanger, huh?

Where's that smile--

the one the photographers pay 50 bucks an hour for?

Come on.

Come on, give me a nickel's worth of smile.

Sold.

Wrap it up, and I'll take it with me.

Oh, Glory, you're a gorgeous thing.

So that's what's left of him, huh?

Yeah, that's Monigan, alright.

Monigan and 1,000 bucks.

Spilled from his pocket.

Take a good look.

Don't let it happen to you. Don't work alone.

You picked the toughest detail on the force.

How long do you think you'll last?

I'll last.

Captain.

Mike. The old memory man.

Thanks, Forster, for those cigars from Havana.

I'm glad you enjoyed them.

I didn't say I enjoyed them.

Next time you go to a police convention, send me a postcard.

I'll buy my own cigars.

Thought you'd want in on this, Mike.

Yeah, sure. But I can't figure

how a man assigned to crying babies

could get himself killed.

Odd.

It's odd, isn't it, Mike?

Well, what's to go on?

Not much. That's it there.

Those youngsters saw the killer,

but what could they see in the dark?

Who's nervous Nellie?

He owns a cigar store.

Takes horse bets by day

and runs a poker game by night.

Oh, one of those.

Yeah, and he's dummied up.

Yeah?

We're ready to roll, captain.

Alright.

It was a little after 9:00, and I'm taking a bath,

and I hear "bang-bang," and I think to myself it's bullets.

Yeah?

And it is!

Come on, folks. Make way, clear the way.

Come on, step back, step back.

We were standing by the building.

This Mr. Monigan came along,

he stopped and lit his pipe,

then he kept on walking.

Uh-huh?

And there was some talk we couldn't hear much of.

Then two shots.

We ran out...

And the man with the twisted hand, running.

Mr. Monigan pulled himself up,

and he reached back for his gun.

And then?

That man in the car,

he yelled, "you crazy lobo."

Lobo?

Yes, sir.

And the car went by so fast,

I couldn't catch the license number.

Which hand was twisted?

His left.

And he had kind of dark splotches on his face.

Yeah, Molly.

Sir, do you think, if you could,

could you keep us out of the papers?

Why?

Ah, it's her old lady.

She reads all the murders in the paper like they belong to her.

If she reads he and me were out together,

she'll start in on me again.

I'm not good enough for Molly.

She wants her to study shorthand,

be a secretary,

marry her boss or something.

Okay.

Gee, thanks.

Hi, Mike.

Okay, Fred.

Don't know anything, huh?

Didn't see anything, didn't hear anything.

You hip-pocket bookie.

The killer was out to knock over

your poker game in there!

And if it hadn't been for Monigan,

you might be sirening away

with blood pouring out of you!

Go on, get straight with yourself!

Mike.

Grab onto that temper.

Do you expect him to admit he's a bookie,

that he's breaking the law?

Monigan's dead, and he's a liar. That's all I know.

And you're mad.

You think being mad makes you a better detective?

No, but I'm mad. Sure I'm mad.

There's something sticking in your throat. What is it?

When the hotshot came in about Monigan,

I felt like you feel.

Now I don't know what to feel.

You're a captain of detectives.

You're supposed to think, not feel.

Then add it up for yourself, Mike.

There's a new betting outfit in town,

trying to take over all the bookies.

They're not trying that again?

Several of the books have been robbed lately.

They can't come to us for protection,

they try to protect themselves.

Go on. I'm adding.

Third, fourth, fifth and sixth: Monigan was off-duty.

He was keeping an eye on this-- one of the books.

He protected it from being robbed.

We found $1,000 in his pocket,

fresh folding money.

If you're through adding, what's the total?

I knew him too well and too long.

Monigan wasn't crooked.

Now you're getting mad again.

You bet I'm getting mad again.

Monigan was not ragged.

The word is that when you dropped him, he went mean.

I tell you, you're barking up the wrong tree.

Grab onto that temper and listen to me!

No, you listen to me!

The papers love to print articles that rip into us,

big headlines.

If one cop's drunk, we're all drunks.

If one cop's crooked, we're all crooks.

Effective right now, this is your case.

Crack it.

Still feel Monigan was ragged?

You told me i'm supposed to think,

not feel.

I only hope he's mad enough.

He's mad enough.

Let's go.

Crazy lobo.

What?

Monigan's killer.

Crazy lobo with a twisted left hand.

What's a lobo?

Didn't they learn you anything at that police academy?

Yeah, that the best way to learn was to ask questions,

and if any old shellback got sore,

to remind him he had to learn once himself.

Or were you born with that shell on your back, Piper?

Give the man a cigar.

Can't stand them, they make me sick.

A lobo's a gung, a thug,

a hoodlum from downstate.

Didn't they spot Arthur Webson the other day

with a couple of lobos?

They did.

Who's Arthur Webson?

Fill it in for him, Piper.

Webson? A fixer.

Arrested once for attempted bribery,

once for fraud, beat it both times.

Filled in?

Yeah. Are you?

You know, when you've run all the cards

through that electric brain

and you don't find what you're after, just ask Piper.

That's me, the electric brain.

Pardon the short circuits.

Webson the fixer, two lobos seen with him.

That's a slim string to work on.

Yeah, sure.

But I've got a line into Webson.

Say, spot this guy leaning against the post, will you?

Read him to me.

5 feet 8 or 9, weight 140-ish, early 30s.

Checked coat, gray flannel pants.

His eyes-- his eyes are heavy,

like he was ready to fall asleep.

You know, a detective is only as good

as his information.

A big chunk of information comes from lines.

Informers, pigeons.

It's up to you to get your own.

Use fear--

get something on a gung, and he'll trade.

Or revenge--

when a gung's out to even a score.

Women--prove to a girl a gung's cheating on her.

Gratitude-- get an old con trying to level,

and lend him a hand.

You're dealing in dirt with the dirtiest,

but it's paydirt.

Thanks.

Thank him. He taught me.

I taught him all I knew,

now I'm learning from him.

That gung with the heavy eyes,

like he's ready to fall asleep?

That's his moniker. "The sleeper."

I've used him as an informer,

and he knows Webson the fixer.

Why didn't we pick him?

We will, but first we'll pick two others.

On the range here, never pick up a pigeon alone.

Somebody might figure out he's a pigeon.

You're new on the range.

Yeah.

Well, we'll see if you're wanted.

If not, you're on your way.

Alright. Beat it, sister.

Come on, Piper.

I want to know what gives, sleeper.

What's with all these bookie robberies?

What else you want to know?

I want to know where Webson is,

that fixer friend of yours.

What else?

Webson's been seen with two lobos.

I want to know about them,

particularly one with a twisted left hand and a mottled face.

What else?

That's it.

Well, how about that?'

and me thinkin' you had something on me.

Yuk, yuk.

Naturally, you ain't got nothing on me.

I just sprung from wallaby prison.

I ain't had time to do nothing you could hook me for.

I just paid my debit to society.

Naturally, I know you know I know something.

I know you know I know you know something.

Sure.

If you hook me, I'll talk,

but not till you hook.

Y-y-your hand would slip,

that hot coal would catch me in the eye, naturally.

Naturally.

I thought you'd tell me out of friendship.

How about that?

You and me buddy-buddy.

Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Out this way.

Hey, Mike, cheer up.

You know me. I'm a one-bell crook.

I'll make some wacky boner, then you'll hook me, and I got to talk.

Well, till we meet again. Yuk, yuk.

Yuk, yuk, yuk.

What'd you find in yuk-yuk's coat?

Sleeper once gave me a loaded cigar.

Not much. Two words on the inside of a match cover:

"Turk" and "blade."

Me neither.

Oh, and these numbers.

Phone numbers or street addresses. Could be either.

Check with Howie Lorrison at the phone company

in the morning.

Well, if it isn't poison pen.

Piper.

He still thinks I dish it out, but can't take it?

Meet young Gordon. Bob Herkimer--

death in the morning journal.

How are you?

Hiya, c.C.

C.c.?

Short for carbon copy.

Look at him, Mike-- just like you from head to foot.

C.c., huh?

It's hero worship.

Check the deformity file, c.C.

Pull any mugs with a twisted left hand

and a face with black splotches.

The hand and splotch-- can I go with that?

No.

What do I print about Monigan?

Your usual.

"I have it on good authority, blah, blah, blah..."

You see these guys, Mike?

"Detective William Halloran:

Killed in line of duty, 8-11-39."

"Detective Harry Weinberg:

Killed by a bandit, 12-31-37."

You take things too big, Mike.

That's why someday I'm going to print one

of two different stories about you:

Either your appointment as chief

or your obituary.

You're a friend of mine.

From way back.

From your days on the town,

from your nights before marriage.

So you'll write my obit real pretty, huh?

Real pretty.

Before I write it, I'll study li'l abner.

I checked the bullets from Monigan's body.

Uh-huh?

They were fired from a .38 Smith & Wesson special.

Oh, that's great. Just great.

Find me one gun out of 100,000,

and I'll have the killer--

unless he's sane and threw that Smith & Wesson special

right into the river.

Well, the land's left clear marks. Take a look.

Just great.

Mike.

What about the folding money--

that crisp green stuff they found in Monigan's coat?

What about it?

It'll have to go,

and don't ask me not to print it.

I won't, friend.

Look, Mike,

we're friends, alright.

But if I killed a man, you'd rip me for it.

You wouldn't like it, but you'd do it.

It's your job.

It's my job to print facts.

But these aren't facts yet.

Did he have the money on him, or didn't he?

What are you doing?

Writing out my day book.

What?

Well, it's regulations, isn't it?

Write up every day in your day book.

Ahem.

Tell me, c.C.,

why in this day and age would a smart young man

decide to become a flatfoot?

Well, when I was 10 years old,

I fell in love with my fourth grade teacher,

and she married a cop.

I figured if it was good enough for her,

it would be good enough for me.

Amo, amas, amat.

Yeah.

I've read a lot of your stuff in the journal.

Yeah?

You'd have made a good cop.

Thanks.

Except you're flat at the wrong end.

Ha!

Ha!

Hi, ed.

Yeah. I know.

You're sorry my father was killed last night,

and you're sorry for me.

That's what I came to say, ed.

I guess you brought me a present, huh?

One of those camping stoves, I'll bet,

like we thought of for river fishing.

As a matter of fact, I did. Here.

Swell.

You know, I still say you don't use enough butter

when you pop the fish into the pan.

The next time we go on a...

- Alright, say it. - Say what?

Whatever it is that's making you look at me lead-eyed.

It's your fault pop was killed.

Why?

You saw he was too old for your detail. You dropped him.

But you knew what kind of a guy he was.

You knew he'd go out and try to be a hero,

just to show you he still had it in him.

You should have put him back in uniform, and not a desk.

Why didn't you?

Because you always want to be a good guy.

You want everybody to like you.

Mike...

About that bribe--

you know pop didn't take it.

No.

That "no" had a lot of "yes" to it.

That's a pretty sharp remark, ed.

Thanks, it's yours. Use it sometime.

You can have his pipe, too, Mike.

Pin it on the bulletin board.

I suppose they'll put his picture on the wall with all the others.

Detective Edward Joseph Monigan,

appointed July 25, 1922.

Killed...

Clear him, Mike.

Clear pop, please.

That's Webson, alright.

Piper, you tail Webson. Come on, c.C.

Mike, i--

junk the cigar and dig.

There's a Webber, a webly.

No Webson. No fixer.

Over here, then.

That number you got from the telephone company--

Fairfield 5-370. Dial it.

Let it ring 10 or 12 times.

Come on up, room 212.

Lock it.

Anything?

No, nothing much.

Wait a minute, here's something.

"P.j. Pontiac,

private investigator. Discreet."

That one--

the one with the suit like a burlap bag.

The lobo?

No, no, but I've seen him somewhere.

The way he keeps looking back over his shoulder.

Rinaldo, rico, rutzo--

rutzo! Tony rutzo! That's him.

Now, I don't want him to know we made Webson's office.

We'll give him a couple of blocks,

and then we'll jump him.

You've been off the range a long time.

Yeah.

What do you keep looking over

your shoulder for?

What do you expect to see?

I--i don't know.

If I knew, I wouldn't have to look.

Anyway, you see a lot of things that way.

I'll be saving you guys the trouble of tailing me.

I live at 4831 blade street,

and I live all alone.

Okay. On your way.

We'll pull the file on him--

the whole package.

That rutzo's quite a boy.

Burglary second, armed robbery,

3 auto thefts.

Homicide. Yeah, Piper.

You lost Webson? How?

Did he spot you and duck?

He just slipped you.

Oh, brother--

alright, check back.

Just slipped him.

Two more auto thefts.

Yeah, I remember. Rutzo's queer for cars, alright.

He said he lived alone.

And from his m.O., he always worked alone.

I don't see how he fits in.

Where did rutzo say he lived?

Uh, 4831 blade.

Blade. Turk and blade.

The two names you took from the inside

of sleeper's match cover.

Yeah.

But we're looking for a twisted left hand,

and all we have is a fixer

and a car wack.

I'd say we're not even close.

I'd say we're just scrambling.

I'd say you're getting edgy.

Come on.

Hold it--look.

Let's find out.

I thought I saw you in the rear vision mirror.

Hello, umpire.

This should interest you, Mike.

Who's that?

Umpire menafoe, ex-bootlegger.

When repeal came in, he sold his distillery for a fortune,

but he's still got the hum in his blood.

One of our bookies was robbed recently.

We suspect the man in the center.

There must be no possibility of error.

In our business, we make no mistakes.

Well, who is it?

The guy in the middle, I think.

Release the other two.

Try the hat on him.

One of the thieves left his hat behind.

Just like cinderella.

Except that if it fits, he doesn't marry the prince.

Pretty small.

Release him.

Everybody out.

We've been trying to establish our outfit in town.

Don't you guys ever stop trying?

There's money here,

but when we moved in, these criminals moved in on our heels.

They've robbed us of a considerable sum.

I'm authorized to offer a $10,000 reward

to anyone.

We don't need legal evidence, as you do.

We'll take your word as to who the criminals are.

We'll administer their final punishment.

Your case is closed.

You speak beautiful English.

I graduated from high school

and studied accounting, law, and philosophy by correspondence.

Beautiful English, umpire,

but you don't speak my language.

No, then?

Mm-mmm.

Well, it was worth a try.

Mike. What?

Don't bother coming back here.

We won't be here. We move around.

And you might bet faithful lad in the third.

Are you betting on him, umpire?

Only fools bet horses.

Fools keep me prosperous.

Hey, don't keep saying I'm late.

I haven't said a word.

No, but you're thinking it.

Yeah.

Thank you, Mr. C.

Don't turn around.

Hey, Mike--

I could have killed you, huh?

Ain't that a dilly? Pleased to meet you, missus.

What do you know, Mike? I got you the info.

Head down the range. Them two lobos.

Great, let's have it.

It's the royalty team: Turk kingby and lafe douque.

Get it? The king and the Duke.

They're a couple of stinkin'-- begging your pardon, ma'am--

a couple of smellin' gungs from downstate.

They been pals since reform school.

They been robbin' bookies here, right, left, and up the aisle.

Don't zig me, sleeper.

What kind of crack's that?

Did I ever zig you before?

You mean they're really bucking this new outfit,

robbing their bookies?

That's a pretty tall order for a couple of lobos.

Yeah?

Turk and lafe robbed one of the outfit's bookies today.

A dry cleanery at sixth and turmain.

The bookie's wife got so nervous,

she stuck the steam iron on her own hand.

Ain't that a dilly?

Slow down. Catch the coffee pot on the corner.

Pardon me, all.

Alright, you can stop chewing the upholstery.

They hang at hippo's, the royalty.

They hate each other's guts,

but they can't operate one without the other.

The king and the Duke.

Either of them have a twisted left hand?

Nope.

- You know where they live? - Nope.

But I seen Turk with that shorty Pontiac.

Pontiac?

Yeah, private eye.

Why did you give me this information?

I haven't nicked you.

Well, I'm tellin' you this 'cause I want insurance.

I'm gonna need you.

I--i pulled me a little caper,

and I'm gettin' hot.

I'm such a stinkin'--

pardon me, ma'am, but what else can I say?

I'm such a stinkin' crook.

Mike, naturally there'll be more anon.

I'll powder at the corner.

You know, I really could have killed you, huh?

Yuk, yuk.

Webson, rutzo the car wack

and a couple of lobos named Turk and lafe.

Hey, Mike--

I really could have killed you, huh?

Yuk, yuk.

The cleaning store at sixth and turmain.

They denied they were robbed yesterday

and denied they were bookies.

Par for the course.

But the woman's hand was bandaged where she burned herself.

And the telephone rang, and I answered,

and a voice said, "this is Emmett.

Two on ebony star in the third."

Sleeper was leveling.

Mike? Yeah?

No make on Turk or lafe.

Nothing at all?

Not even a possible.

What about the moniker file?

We have 17 Turks on file,

but nothing to fit.

I beg your pardon.

The name's kiesling.

I'm sheriff from downstate, sands county.

Turk and lafe--you talking about the royalty boys?

Yeah.

Then I suggest you get in touch with wallaby prison

or the parole people.

The boys come from my neck of the woods.

I heard they were operating around here.

But wallaby's where they were.

How big a break can you get?

Son, you need a little luck on any case.

What do you know about the royalty boys, loomis?

Mike, don't put me down in your book for stupid.

I'm not,

but a man on my detail was killed.

They're a couple of rough, hating boys.

I was at wallaby when they came there.

They came in real wild.

That lafe-- he did this.

Grabbed my ear and did me this.

Turk, he's the smart one.

Lafe, he's childish-like. A big kid.

He saves things.

Anything--stamps, match covers, pennies.

He's looking for the kind of penny

that automobile companies

are supposed to give a new automobile for.

He's gone. Real gone.

Which one has a twisted left hand?

Not Turk. Not lafe. Neither.

Do they hang with anyone who does?

Not that I seen.

Well, that's fine, loomis. That's enough.

Thanks for all the trade you send me and my partner.

Forget it, loomis.

No, sir.

Thanks, loomis.

I got the royalty pictures

from the parole people.

Turk, lafe, rutzo the car wack.

Classmates. All from wallaby prison.

And so is hippo,

who runs the coffee pot where they hang.

And so is sleeper.

It's beginning to fit.

Seems they all made the varsity.

Why wait? Let's round them up.

If we did, they'd be sprung in an hour.

We haven't got a shred of legal evidence.

That robbery at sixth and turmain. What's wrong with that?

Brother.

Could you get them to sign a legal complaint,

to admit they were bookies?

No.

How much of your coffee do I have to drink

before I learn something?

There isn't that much coffee.

Phone sanitation to check hippo's

for violations of the sanitation code.

And take these photos. Watch for Turk and lafe.

Watch.

Don't make an arrest when you're alone.

Don't try to be a hero.

How can I help it?

Where now?

The lead from sleeper.

Pontiac the private eye.

Come on, come on!

I resign from your employ.

Let him go, Mike.

No charges, Pontiac?

Get him out of here.

Mike?

My whole business is telling wives what their husbands are up to

and vice-versa.

The movies are ruining me.

Every time I get a case, I got to resign.

Every shmegegge thinks he can beat up a private eye,

and I'm no humpty bogart.

He gets slugged, and he's ready for action.

I get slugged, and I'm ready for pickling.

Oh, look at that eye.

It belongs on a bun with relish.

You've been seen with Turk kingby.

Who's been yakking?

What do you want with Turk?

Yeah, yeah, I seen Turk.

What about?

Well, Turk's wife gets the word that Turk's out for laughs.

So she hires me to find out who's giving him the giggles.

Turk catches me,

and I resign at Turk's request.

He worked on this eye.

And who was giving him the giggles?

3 of them.

All at the same time?

Mostly Lili,

a sizzler at the fol-de-rol.

A figure like champagne,

and a heart like the cork.

You never seen Turk, then?

Not since a month, anyway.

Ever see Turk with a man whose left hand was twisted?

Not unless Turk twisted it.

You take it from there. It's too fat for me.

Well...

Oh, I'll tell you how to fix up that eye.

You take a razor blade, see,

and make a small cut under the puff--

oh, no.

I should fix up this eye

so another shmegegge can kick it in?

Oh, no!

Oh, humpty bogart...

Stick these on the bulletin board.

And move Turk to the head of the class.

Hiya, Glory?

Put away the can opener, gorgeous.

I won't be home for dinner.

I'm going out to make time with a girl.

Oh.

A sizzler. She's got a figure like champagne.

Well, be careful of her bubbles.

Alright, sweetie.

♪ I'm a goody goody girl ♪

♪ and I like my gentlemen refined ♪

♪ if you take me for a ride ♪

♪ then you better keep the car in mind ♪

♪ if you never try to stop ♪

♪ then you better get your brakes relined ♪

♪ I'm a goody goody girl ♪

♪ and I guess I'm always gonna be... ♪

Is Lili around?

Over there.

Thanks.

♪ You can see that I'm revived ♪

♪ and my dear, that's all you're gonna see ♪

Lili?

I'd like to talk to you for a minute, over there.

Just a minute, Jack--

pardon me.

The boys here seem to think she's worth a look.

And is she?

She builds them up.

Then you come in for the kill, huh?

Buy me a drink.

Are you thirsty?

No.

Let's get out of here.

Oh, in a hurry, uncle wiggily?

The name's Mike.

You'll say uncle.

I said let's get out of here.

I'm taking you to a movie.

We'll eat 6-cent candy and hold hands.

Boys, the corn is growing fast.

Say that again, uncle wiggily.

Mike.

Mike.

A movie, 6-cent candy,

and we'll hold hands.

Of course, the boss wouldn't like it.

But that's not the reason you're coming with me.

I'll get my coat.

I like to keep warm.

I don't believe it.

We did go to the movies.

And we did hold hands.

And we ate $1.00's worth of 6-cent candy.

Yeah.

Oh, let me do that.

There we are.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Yeah.

Well, what happens now?

Do I see you again?

I want to.

Tomorrow for lunch.

Where?

Andre's.

Andre's? Mm-mmm.

That's not for Lili.

Why not?

From 6-cent candy to a $6.00 lunch?

I'll pick you up tomorrow noon, okay?

Sure you won't come in?

Quite sure.

You know, Mike, you're nice.

In all my life, no one before

ever took me to the movies to look at the movies.

You're nice.

Hi.

Well?

Lunch with her tomorrow.

I see.

I see.

Uh-huh.

What?

Oh.

She doesn't use anything kiss-proof, does she?

All in the line of duty?

Mm-hmm.

I don't get it.

She seems okay, yet she's mixed up

with some of the worst gungs in town.

A nice, innocent sizzler, hmm?

Yeah.

Mmm!

Hey!

That's to get her out of your breath.

It did.

Hello?

Yeah, Piper.

Can't it keep?

Alright.

Yeah, I'm with you.

Hey.

What?

Glory.

Who's got the jitters now?

Me.

It rips me, Mike.

That phone cuts into me every time it rings.

And every time you hand me those dice

and say, "roll them for luck."

Easy, baby, easy.

I'm you. I was born the day we were married.

If anything ever happened to you--

nothing's gonna happen to me.

How could it? You're my luck.

Mike?

What?

I'm going to arrange dinner with norrie.

Oh, no!

Glory, you know how I hate to make chitchat,

particularly with that multimillionaire ex-beau of yours.

He's still in love with you.

Dinner with norrie, and no excuses.

I don't get it.

What has all this got to do with you and the jitters?

Promise?

Promise.

About that lipstick--

yeah, what about that lipstick?

Was she younger than I?

Oh, no more jitters now, huh?

Was she?

A little.

Should I be jealous?

A little.

Oh.

Oh, Glory...

I won't say I'll never look at another woman again,

because I will.

But I love you, and that's forever.

And younger or older, you'll always be the most beautiful,

and don't forget it.

"Police department nixes Monigan pension plea.

By Robert Herkimer."

What's the report?

There are 189 ways

to violate the sanitation code.

Hippo found a few more.

Oh, Herkimer and his headline hunger.

Oh, yeah, but he prints facts.

Facts are like bricks.

You can build buildings with them,

or you can break windows.

Herkimer breaks windows.

Well, looks like the cat swallowed the canary.

It certainly did.

Well, brush the feathers out of your teeth and talk.

I saw lafe last p.m., coming out of hippo's.

I spotted him from his mug.

So I stopped him for a quick frisk.

You did? Yeah.

No gun on him, but he sure is a saver.

Pocketful of match covers, stamps,

little paper pennants from college football teams--

are you kidding?

Why, what's the matter? What are you sore about?

What do you mean, what's the matter, what am I sore about?

For not tailing lafe to find out where he lived and for being a hero.

Stopping him when you're alone.

That's how Monigan got his!

I'm having lunch at Andre's.

Quite a letter opener.

It once opened a bank messenger.

Hey.

What's the matter?

Come here.

Too fancy?

Uh, slightly.

I told you Andre's wasn't for me in the first place.

Aw, now stop. Wait a minute...

Feathers, yet.

I think we can get rid of that rose.

Fix this.

I like it.

I think you can wipe off some of that lipstick, too.

Hmm. Well, that's one way of getting rid of it.

You know a better way?

How about those rocks? Oh, that's your department.

You do that.

Now look.

I like it.

It's cute.

Sort of "hands off."

Come on. I'm hungry.

Honey, sir?

Oh, yes, lots of it.

Now try that.

The out-of-towners always promise to bring me here,

but they never come across.

Why not, Lili?

Part of their come-on.

Same reason I spell Lily L-i-l-i.

You an out-of-towner, Mike?

I came from Pittsburgh, pa.

What do you do?

Oil? Stocks?

Lumber?

No.

Doctor, lawyer, indian chief?

No.

No, not a chief, Lili.

Not yet, anyway.

You know, when I meet a girl

and I tell her I'm a cop,

she suddenly remembers mama's home sick.

Thanks for leveling, Mike.

Oh, I had to.

You'd have caught it sooner or later

and thought I was trying to run one.

Telephone, sir.

Oh, thank you.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Surprise. Yuk, yuk.

Can you talk?

Not at the moment, no.

Naturally.

Can you listen?

Yeah.

Lafe douque knocked another bookie.

He's holed in, scared of the outfit.

I'm tryin' to noodle where.

Yeah, that's fine.

Meet me at Jay street, late.

I'm holing in myself.

Certainly.

And, Mike?

What?

Don't forget, I can make a good state's evidence.

I done it before, I can do it again.

Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Okay. Yeah.

- Mike. - What?

Are you married?

Yes.

Oh.

Lots of laughs.

There's rutzo.

Ol' swivel-neck.

Hippo.

If they go together, Piper, tail 'em.

If they split, tail hippo.

We meet sleeper.

Rutzo's queer for cars, alright.

He wants that one so bad, he can taste it.

That's it, Piper. Hippo.

Mike, let c.C. Take it.

That makes twice.

Twice what?

You tried to skip tailing Webson the fixer,

and now you're trying to skip this.

You know, when you're out to meet an informer,

be on the prod.

You never know when he'll turn and try to kill you.

Pick a quiet street.

A t-shaped corner with a blind side,

so none of his chums can rake you.

Be late, so he's there already.

There he is.

Now drive by and make sure he's alone.

Then turn.

Gun out, by your side.

Go ahead.

Sleeper, get in the car!

Broke his arms.

Then his legs.

Then his neck.

Dead pigeon.

That gung sense of humor.

Hey, Mike--

I know how to make a fortune.

Take out life insurance on your informers.

Don't tell me you feel bad about sleeper.

I told you, you take these things too big.

A cheap little gung like that.

What difference does it make

if he lives or dies?

I forgot to say thanks

for that thoughtful, sweet article you wrote

about Eddie Monigan's pension being nixed.

Piper.

Any ideas about sleeper?

Or do I write up the latest in the current wave

of unsolved murders?

Careful, Mike.

That wave might wash you right out of your job.

You know, you're getting to be a walking typographical error.

Read the journal, boy.

If you can't read, we got plenty of pictures.

You know, Herkimer used to be a good guy,

until he started writing a column.

Now he thinks he's judge and jury for the whole world.

I lost hippo.

You what?

Sorry.

How could anybody lose anybody as big as hippo?

First Webson, the fixer, and now this.

Yeah.

I don't understand what you're...

I don't know--i want to fight something, I don't know what.

It's getting me edgy.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, Mike.

Hey--

I want to see you a minute, Lili.

Oh, you're way low, way down.

What's the bother? Your work?

Your wife?

No.

Anyway, you're welcome.

Maybe.

I was asked a question about you today, Lili.

You know anybody named Turk kingby?

And know the fol-de-rol presents its star attraction,

Lili--

here to entertain you the way you're here to be entertained.

Mike, please don't watch me.

Here's my key. I want to make talk with you later.

Please.

Hey.

You get to be a light sleeper.

Drink?

Uh-uh.

Cigarette?

I got one.

Kiss?

I've had one.

Mad at me?

No. Why? Should I be?

You know I lied to you before.

I kind of guessed.

I lied to you about Turk.

I know him, alright.

I met him at the fol-de-rol,

over a glass of phony champagne.

Mm-hmm.

I went out with him a few times.

But I cut it quick.

I don't like his sense of humor.

He laughs at the wrong things.

Thanks.

Got a question.

What?

What do you tell your wife when you're out so late

or a whole lot later?

Got an answer.

I tell her I slept here--

till you came in.

And what does she say?

She kids me.

If it was me, I'd break my fingernails on you.

You would, huh?

Okay.

Sure, I got violations. What restaurant ain't?

You men have been around before.

He say do this and do this, I do it, that's all.

He say, "hippo, okay, good. Done."

Now this-- this paper you send me choke me to death.

Summons and complaint, huh?

What finger you got in this?

What do you know about Turk and lafe?

I go to the doctor. He say I weigh so much

'cause I eat so much... On account of I'm unhappy.

I say, "doctor, me? I'm no unhappy."

The doctor say I'm unhappy deep inside.

If you no tear up that paper,

I'm unhappy much more-- maybe put on 100 pounds.

I think that's much better than I put on two ounces of lead...

Deep inside here.

Too bad we can't tear this up and forget about it.

You protect me? Yes.

You say sure?

Where do Turk and lafe live?

I don't know.

They come in my place sometime, and they eat.

I play a little klaberjass.

I know 'em from wallaby, that's all.

Hey, Mike, wait.

I no know where lafe is.

Turk's in that crumbum hotel Blake.

Do you know anything about a twisted left hand?

I hear talk. He's their trigger.

I never see him. I don't know who he be.

When I hear more, I tell you, so help me.

Okay. Tear it up. Make it a warning this time.

How high can a man weigh?

Does what hippo just said check with your info?

Yeah. I tailed rutzo. Turk's at the Blake, alright.

Good.

I'm putting a bug on him. Men are installing wall mikes.

When will you be there?

They'll let me know as soon as the room is bugged.

Fine. I'll be over right after dinner, then.

Right, lieutenant.

I'm sorry I can't make it any earlier,

but I'm having dinner with Gloria

and a multimillionaire ex-beau of hers...

And not so "ex" at that.

You know I love ya!

Well, shall I just come right out with it?

Oh, but of course, norrie.

You're far too rich to play cozy.

You're not my type, either.

You've heard of swift's steel?

Who hasn't?

I own most of it.

Yes...lock, stock, and half the barrel.

They need an executive to supervise plant protection in their 16 plants.

Are you willing to start at the top of the ladder?

Is this Gloria's idea?

To be sure.

And you hope I'll turn it down, huh?

You know, you've been waiting almost 5 years for me to be killed.

I loved Gloria before you married her.

I love her now,

but I've kept out of your way, Mike.

Well, don't get in it now.

- No? - No.

And if I ever decide to start at the top of the ladder,

we'll have dinner here again.

Gentlemen, do you hear that weeping?

That's this dress just crying to be seen.

Dance, somebody?

Come on, corrine.

I like corrine.

I like corrine.

You know, the funny part is that Mike would really be perfect.

He's just what swift's are looking for.

But he said no.

I'm sorry, friend.

So am I.

Got you, hasn't he?

Like a song spinning round in my brain.

How do the lyrics go?

"Every day, I see him dead,

and I die a little myself."

The Glory blues, friend.

Another angle.

What?

I'm a man of influence--

just how much influence always surprises me.

I could try to get Mike dropped from the force.

Influence?

Think carefully, friend.

Mike strikes me as a man with two loves--

his job and you-- needing both.

But...i could try.

It's up to you.

Try.

You're wonderful. Ain't Turk wonderful, Flo?

Turk's the bestest!

Turk does alright.

You think that's something? Just listen to this.

Lafe and me knocked a bookie yesterday.

The lookout grabs my hat, so I do like this to his eyes.

Ah, Turk, you're wonderful!

The bestest, and so is lafe.

Aw, that shirkin' loafer. He burns me up.

He's so scared of the outfit. He's so buried.

I wished I knew where he was holed.

Come here, you.

Baby! - Hey!

Lafe's been wantin' to run out ever since that old copper got hit.

Turk kingby!

Don't tell me you shoved over a cop!

And supposin' I didn't? Does that make me any shorter?

It was the guy with the bad mitt.

Oh, pooh!

One more "pooh" out of you, and I'll--

Aren't you wonderful?

He killed that cop with a little .38 Smith & Wesson--

sweet as sugar, smooth as silk.

Too bad lafe had to get rid of the gun.

It purred, I tell you, it purred.

Well, there's our evidence for court.

They gave lafe the .38 to get rid of, but lafe's a saver.

Rest assured, he's got that death gun somewhere.

Yeah, but where is he? Even Turk doesn't know.

It's time, Mike.

Yeah.

What was that about?

Well, in every case, there's a move you hate to make.

This is his.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Mike.

Wake up. Get dressed.

I want you to come with me and hear something.

Okay.

The lookout grabs my hat,

so I do like this to his eyes.

Ain't Turk wonderful, Flo?

You heard what-- I heard enough.

"Wonderful."

He started with that word 3 weeks before we split.

But ever since that night you and I went to the movies,

I haven't seen him.

I didn't think you would.

Then why did I get so sore?

A woman's vanity.

Oh.

You know his sidekick lafe?

Mm-hmm.

Do you know where lafe is?

No.

Did he ever make a play for you?

Lafe always wants what Turk has.

I'd like to know where lafe is.

I'd like him so liquored up, I can search his room.

What do you want me to say, Mike?

I want you to say you won't do it,

that you're through with Turk and the whole mess.

That's nice...

But sure, I'll help you.

It'll take a little time,

but I'll let you know where lafe is...

When I get him the way you want him.

It worked good, Mike.

This is why you went after me.

It worked swell...

Because now you've really got me.

Mike!

Turk checked out of the Blake.

The room clerk tipped him.

Are you--

How's the case going?

I'm satisfied.

I'm not. Can you use some help?

It's almost ready to tap.

Is that all, sir?

Not quite.

Do you like ships?

Why?

There's a spot on the harbor squad--

possible captaincy.

Oh, I think you've had a call from swift's steel

or a man named norrie lorfield.

If I want to be head of plant protection at swift's steel,

I'll make my own move.

Don't try making me move.

Anyway, ships and the harbor squad... That's not for me.

I never can remember what time 8 bells is.

You could remember if you concentrated.

Hello?

Mike, it's me--Lili.

Yeah?

Lafe's at 1883 north normand.

I got him the way you want.

Thanks.

Happy hunting, Mike.

Okay.

Thanks, Glory.

For luck.

7.

Glory, wait.

If you're gonna say it, say it fast.

You make me feel that I have to apologize

for every move that I make.

You make me feel guilty about you,

and you're making me afraid...

Of getting killed, and what it would do to you if I were.

But, Glory, you knew you were marrying a cop.

You knew what it meant.

You know, you used to help me--

every day in 100 ways build me up.

But now you're tearing me down.

This case... It won't gel.

It keeps swinging just out of my reach. Why?

Because I'm afraid.

You're piling your fear on top of mine.

I'm sorry, Mike.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

But I am afraid...

And it builds all the time.

Oh, I try to fight it,

but it's like fighting shadows on the wall...

So that sometimes I think I made a mistake...

By making you my whole life.

Aah!

My eyes. My eyes!

My eyes!

Force your eyes open. Come on, open 'em up.

Now, keep washing 'em. Wash out that whiskey.

Alright, that's enough.

A copper! I thought you were a burned bookie for sure.

I thought I was a dead duck for sure, but you're only a cop!

Only a cop, yeah. Okay, come on.

I'll tell you what threw me.

I saw your big car cruising back and forth

for the last couple of days.

I figured it was the outfit for sure.

Hey, is that your car?

Yeah.

That ain't the car I saw cruisin'.

It's them! Come on, jump!

A nice, shiny hero.

Stop heckling.

Never pick up a man when you're alone.

Don't be a hero-- breaking your own rule.

What were you--

I got a rule or two of my own, bub--

anything worth doing is worth doing well.

Hey--ooh!

Ooh...

Sit down right here.

Mike. Piper.

Doc.

Oh...it's you.

Piper.

That .38 Smith & Wesson was registered to him.

He says--

he says he sold the gun.

Yeah?

Come over here, son.

Goodnight.

Hey, poison pen...

Huh?

I'll see you when.

So you sold your gun, huh?

Yes, sir, to a man in a bar.

He said he had a brother killed in the war.

A souvenir, he said.

That's what he said, anyway.

Did you sell your gun to any one of these men?

Looked like this one some...

But his face was marked, and he had a twisted hand.

So you sold your gun for 80 bucks, huh?

And you knew that twisted hand didn't want it

just for a souvenir, but you sold it.

Well, go on, have fun. Spend your 80 bucks

and try and forget that that gun killed a cop by the name of Monigan.

Now, go on, beat it before I break the law against assault and battery.

Go on, beat it!

80 bucks.

Rotten night...

Losing lafe just when we about had the case broke.

Yeah, a rotten night, alright.

Come in here, Piper.

Mike...

Come on, come on.

Come on.

Close the door.

Mike...

Come on, close the door.

Stand back there and read it.

A...

F...

B...

G...

B...

You need stronger glasses.

These glasses I'm wearing are over the limit now.

When did you catch on?

When you didn't recognize Herkimer, though you stepped on his toes.

I thought you'd pegged it when I lost the tail on hippo.

Want me to talk to Forster?

No, I'll talk to him.

He'll give me a job sitting at a desk.

Maybe I can buy you a rubber cushion.

Yeah...then I won't get callouses.

Mike?

What?

You know, I could've read that whole chart to you.

What?

Sure. I memorized it before my last physical.

Why, you old thief!

Takes one to catch one.

Yeah.

Get in.

I wait a long time for you.

Mm-hmm.

My doctor put me on a diet.

He say no more candy. I start tomorrow.

But that's not why you called me.

When the outfit shoved lafe over,

Turk and rutzo decide they gonna make it.

They gonna pull the one big trick.

They gonna wallop the outfit good.

They gonna burn the bookies.

They're gonna hit the outfit right in the heart.

Turk's got their central office fingered.

They're using a collection agency as a blind--

an office in the fordman building.

Fordman building?

Yeah. Turk's gonna hit right after the last race today.

We've got it on a platter, our evidence for court.

Well, here it is.

We're gonna stake out the building.

We're gonna get Turk and company raw and right.

Uh-uh. Reverse the information.

Sift it back to Turk through hippo.

What?

Let Turk know we're wise to his trick.

Then he won't make the try. And we'll make no stakeout.

No stakeout? But, captain--

if you'd stop to think, Mike--

stop to think with my case balled up in my face?

Stop to think with Turk still operating,

the outfit still operating, and I keep on shadowboxing?

Sure. I'm thinkin', alright.

I'm thinking a man has to be out of his mind to be a cop--

that guns kill you, and the public hates you.

You end up with a pension too small to feed a fly...

Or on a slab like Monigan.

Well, you keep on masterminding. I'm full up to here.

I'm sick to death of death and homicide!

You'll be back for it when you've thought it over.

Am I gonna have trouble with you, too?

Maybe.

- Do you know this hippo? - Sure.

Sift word back through him. That's an order.

Right.

Hello, c.C.

I hear none of your old uniforms fit.

Yeah.

I move in on a desk as soon as I get one that does fit.

You heard about our lieutenant?

He was wrong, Piper.

Maybe he was wrong... Maybe right...

Maybe both.

It takes a human being to be right and wrong at the same time.

And remember this:

To be a good cop, you've got to be a human being.

Yeah? I never read that in the code.

Now you're talking like Herkimer writes his column.

If you catch me at it again, Piper, belt me.

Homicide.

No, the lieutenant isn't here.

No, ma'am, I don't know where he can be reached.

Yes, I'll give him a message.

It's the twisted left hand?! Where?

Yes, the lieutenant will be there.

What was that?

You wouldn't know where Mike would be?

No, but I can try.

No. No, it was just a crank.

I'll see you later, Piper.

Yeah.

Oh, hello, mister.

Hello, lovely.

You know, mister...

What?

Someday, I'm going to marry you.

What did you say your name was?

Gloria.

Well, go away, Gloria. You're not my type.

I'll develop.

Ah, you did.

I did the best I could with the equipment I have.

Oh...

Tonight... What?

Just like that first night.

You're happy, aren't you?

Mm-hmm. You?

Miserable, just miserable.

Mike.

Oh...you can tell Forster he can call me at swift's steel.

Tell him he can speak to any one of my 3 secretaries--

the blonde, the brunette, and the bald.

Piper's dead.

Trapped by an informer trying to trap you-- a woman.

I brought your badge.

See Glory home, will you, norrie?

Of course.

7?

7.

♪ I call myself a lady ♪

♪ I'm a belle with a delicate air ♪

♪ though my gown is a-tatter ♪

♪ it really doesn't matter ♪

♪ disregard the clothes I wear ♪

♪ oh, you can tell that I'm a lady ♪

♪ from my top to the tip of my toes ♪

♪ I've been with the smarties at continental parties ♪

♪ so you can see my quality shows ♪

♪ my hat is yours ♪

♪ my gloves are yours ♪

♪ how generous we ladies are ♪

♪ that's all I've got ♪

♪ for, boys, I'm not ♪

♪ a charity bazaar ♪

♪ yes, I call myself a lady ♪

♪ or they say I'm pretending to be ♪

♪ but I will continue along with the sham ♪

♪ her highness I ain't, but a lady I am ♪

♪ I never will drop ♪

♪ from the top of my family tree ♪

♪ till love ♪

♪ makes a woman out of me ♪

You looked a little surprised, Lili.

Did you think I'd been killed?

That's what you thought, wasn't it?

Yes, uncle wiggily, that's just what I thought.

Come on.

Where are we going, to hold hands at the movies?

All the time I was using you against Turk,

Turk was using you against me.

It was a cinch.

And when Turk left the Blake hotel,

the room clerk didn't tip him, you did.

And the outfit didn't kill lafe.

It was Turk in that car, and you set it up for him.

I told Turk he didn't need lafe. He doesn't need anybody.

He thought he'd get me when he got lafe,

and when he missed, he tried again tonight and got Piper.

Yes, and he'll kill you yet.

He'll kill anybody who ever touches me. He loves me.

And you love him?

Him? He takes my breath away.

Nobody else ever could.

Where is he now?

I don't know. Wouldn't say if I did.

It all fits...

All but the twisted left hand. Where does he come in?

I wouldn't say if I did know.

You know, when a girl has the looks that you have,

it's hard to really see her.

But that's no excuse for the mistake I made about you.

No excuse... Just an explanation.

What'll they throw at me?

The book.

The book. There's a crime on every page to fit me.

Pick up Webson the fixer.

Webson? But we don't have a thing on him-- never could.

Pick him up. I'll meet you at the office.

Right.

Do you want to see the report, Mike?

No, I just want to see him.

These what you're looking for?

Yes.

I, uh...I brought them to Andre's to burn.

You wouldn't be needing them anymore.

A celebration. Hooray.

But now you need them.

Sure, I know...

Piper's dead. You've got to fight back.

Sure.

That phone at night cuts me.

When you hear it, your eyes sparkle. You're high.

You--you shine.

Oh, you'd be no good to yourself without your job,

but your job is just too much for me.

I've found myself glad we didn't have a baby.

Glory, stop--

that's right, glad we had no kids...

Like Annie Monigan, to walk through life alone.

Stop it.

I'd want the father of my kids to stay alive.

Mike, I'm going home.

Going home?

For a while.

For good, maybe.

I don't know.

7:00 plane

in the morning.

Glory...

And, Mike...

Mike, if you love me...

And I know how much you do...

Please... Please don't try to stop me, darling.

You're my Glory.

I can only love you, not tell you how to live.

Don't kid me. You've nothing-- not a thing on me.

I don't doubt you, Webson. You're bright. You've been around a long time.

My lawyer will be here soon. He'll have the writ.

That's fine, Webson, that's fine.

Come in with a habeas corpus, and we'll let you go.

You certainly will.

And then I'll phone Herkimer.

I'll say, "a story to print.

"We've just released Webson the fixer.

"He's the captain of the team.

"Yeah, the team that's been robbing the outfit.

But we had to let him go. He had a writ."

No! You wouldn't do that!

Why, the bookies would kill me in 10 minutes!

How could they? Show 'em your habeas corpus.

It would be murder! It's illegal!

You can't give false information to the press!

You know, the man for you to see is Piper.

He's in charge of complaints.

Cut that out! Will you cut that out?!

Alright.

Alright.

I'll dictate the statement and sign.

I know you'll play ball.

Yeah, I fingered the robberies.

You'll have your evidence for the court.

And I'll tell you where they are-- Turk and rutzo.

Leave it alone, boys. You might get hurt.

Turk! Hey! Come on, let's get out of here!

They must've heard our zone warning on the radio

and figured it meant them.

Yeah. Let 'em have it.

Car is heavy-plated.

Cover me.

Where are you going?

Just coming along for the ride.

Hey!

Call the fire department. Get an ambulance.

Do you know you're gonna die, Turk?

Yeah, I know I'm gonna die.

The gun that killed Monigan--that was you.

And you were the chum with the twisted left hand.

Me?

Yeah, you, Turk.

The rubber glove we found in lafe's room.

You put it on your hand and hold it like so.

The mottled face-- shoe polish.

You're a smart one.

I had you going for a while.

A magician doing 5 to 10 at wallaby gave me the play.

He called it... Misdirection.

You make your audience look here...

So you can do whatever you want here.

You was my audience.

No payoff to Monigan?

No. How could you know Monigan and ask that?

They tried.

No luck.

I didn't want to shove over the old cop,

but if he'd have caught me that night with a loaded gun...

You know the ticket for that.

I...i didn't want to, but...

I shoved some dough in his pocket when I shot him.

What did you do with all the money you stole?

Some of it we spent.

Some of it was burnt to a crisp in the car.

Most of it we lost on the horses.

You rob the outfit and then lose it back to 'em.

When I bet a favorite, a long shot would drop.

When I bet a long shot,

the chalk would come in.

I had a lot of bad luck.

Would you like to see Lili?

That tramp? Nah.

I hate a tramp.

Always got to tell 'em, "I love you, baby."

They're a waste of time.

What do I want to see her for?

$88,000.

4 murders.

Haven't totaled the number of robberies.

Yep, the team rolled up quite a score.

Still sore at me?

Why? You want to carry my schoolbooks home for me?

We paid a visit to that office in the fordman building--

the outfit's board of directors.

Uh-huh.

We floated 'em all out of town.

Now do you know why I wouldn't let you go through with that stakeout?

Yeah, I figured out why later.

A stakeout in a busy office building, Turk blasting in a crowd...

Some taxpayer would've stopped one,

and with our budget, we can't afford to lose any taxpayers.

Someday I'll figure things out before I get sore, instead of after.

I hope not. Then you'll take my job away from me.

My pleasure. Daylight! Hey, what time is it?

10 of 7:00.

Come on, get me to the airport by 7:00, will you?

Wait a minute! Don't close that gate! Open up!

Hey, behave yourself!

If he gives you trouble, call a cop.

What are you doing?

Hello, miserable.

Misery with you, misery without you...

Cop.