Original subtitles

- What name did you use?

- Liza Dolittle.

No, silly, I used my own.

- Want to use the bathroom?

- Ken, don't rush.

Can't we just talk for a little while?

- Oh, you know I'd love to, but I have rehearsals.

- You still don't think I can make it, do you?

- What's there to talk about?

- Well, when are we going to talk about it?

You know I'm leaving tomorrow.

_Qkay.

I still think it's a mistake.

Thousands of girls every year go to New York

and fall on their faces.

They're all hoping to succeed.

Most of them end up as broken down waitresses, or doing trade shows.

Now, is that what you want to go down, huh?

Now, you only got a year left to do in graduate school, huh?

Now, you don't want to blow it all now. For what?

- What's a degree in drama going to get me, huh?

A teaching job?

Listen, you teach.

Besides, you know how hard those jobs are to get.

I've stood at the job boards and watched those other drooling grad students,

just aching for a junior high school spot in the middle of nowhere.

I want to give it a try.

I don't want to look back with regret.

You know, "lf only I had gone to New York, I could've been on Broadway."

Besides, Ted, you said I was good.

You said my acting had a spiritual aesthetic.

- You're not wrong. I'm sure you do.

- Listen to me, damn it.

_Qkay.

You wanted my opinion, I gave it to you.

Sta)'-

- Do you really want me to?

- Of course I do.

Why do you think I've taken these chances to be with you, huh?

Look what I've got.

- Ted. - Come on, take it.

- Come on.

- Put your lips on it.

Come on, baby.

Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Come on.

Yeah, like that.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, you are so special.

- Ted.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, listen.

Oh, take those panties off. Oh, God.

I want some of that right now.

It's been so long.

- What about Arlene? - Oh, God.

I haven't touched her in a year.

- Then why are you still with her?

- Oh, don't mind that now. I want you.

- Oh, Ted.

Kiss me. Please, I'm not ready.

Oh!

[moaning]

- Oh, God. - Not so fast.

- Oh, God, it feels so good.

[moaning]

- No. Not yet.

[moaning] - Yes. Baby, come on.

- No, honey, hold on. Hold on.

No, not yet.

No, not yet. [moaning]

- No. No. No.

[moans]

- Ted.

Oh, honey.

Tell me you love me.

- Oh.

- Oh, sure.

Oh, baby, I love you.

You're serious about this New York thing, huh?

Well, what about us?

- Well, that's up to you.

- You know you're the only woman I care about.

- Your wife?

- You know I can't leave her. She can't function without me.

You've got to trust me on this.

Listen, we got a good thing going.

Come on, let's not lose it, huh?

- Then you'll come and see me in New York?

- I guess if I can't change your mind, I'll come and see you every week.

Get yourself a little apartment.

We can fuck all night, huh?

How do you like that, my itty-bitty darling, huh?

- Sounds great.

- Oh, Jesus, I got to go.

Chekhov calls.

Listen, what do I owe you for the room?

- Forget about it. - Well, here.

Remember, when you accept your Tony, don't forget who got you your start.

[soft, serene music]

- Billie.

Billie!

Billie, I want to talk to you.

Billie, give me a minute.

Billie, you walked right out.

You didn't even give me a chance.

- I don't want to talk about it.

I'm done. I quit. I'm through with hustling.

Forgood. -l've heard that before.

Listen, you can't leave like this.

You have other people to consider.

- I only have one person to consider.

Myself. - Honey, you've got a lot to learn.

You're a fucking whore.

- Was.

I've got a job.

A real job.

- Look, baby, we've got clients, and every day

that you're out, we're losing big bucks.

Didn't I treat you right, Billie?

Didn't I give you everything you needed?

- Like three times in jail?

- I bailed you out.

- What about the clap?

- I got you a doctor.

A very good man.

The mayor's own doctor.

What more could you want?

- What about a future? Can't find one on your back.

- Oh, big fucking deal.

Once a night.

You know, you have really got it good.

How do you expect to keep yourself dressed like that?

What about the trips to Palm Springs?

Look at this apartment.

Ming ain't cheap, sweetheart.

You've got a job that's going to pay for all of this?

- None of your goddamn business.

- Probably not.

But I do care about you, Billie,

and I don't want to see you get hurt.

- Don't worry,

I'll survive.

And if you're concerned about how I'm going to keep this apartment, I've solved it.

- Oh?

Find a daddy?

-L'm getting roommates.

- Roommates?

Oh, I can hear it now.

"Oh, we'll put the stereo in the living room

and we'll put the Donny Osmond poster over there,

and the incense holder over there."

Jesus.

I see you've really thought this one out, haven't you?

I guess I'm just wasting my time.

I suppose you know that you can't close the door on your past

and it always comes back to you.

It always does.

Always.

Billie,

I just want you to know that you've been very special to me.

Very special, goddammit.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Yes, it is.

Oh, the ad.

Yes, I still have the two rooms available.

They're both quite nice.

You'll have access to the living room and full kitchen,

and there's lots of light.

Do you like plants?

- All right, that's good.

That's good, that's fine.

Look at me.

All right, a little more.

Here, now -- Okay.

No, no. Look.

Defiant and -- Yeah, that's the one.

Yeah, that's it!

That's it, all right. Yes.

No, no, no, no. Give me some hair.

Shake the hair. Shake it.

Yes, yes, yes,

Ye$.yes.

Okay, great. Right into the camera.

Yes, good.

Yes, all right!

Okay, take five.

Steve, turn the lights.

I've got to change film.

-L've got plenty of this stuff. - Yeah?

- Any time you want it, beautiful.

- Oh. How about ludes?

- Sure.

Toolies, greenies, acid, horseshit.

Maybe you can stop by my place later.

Sit around, get high, and, uh...you know.

- Mm, maybe.

I don't know, I'm moving my stuff.

- Moving?

-L'm sharing an apartment.

- Aren't you going back to LA?

- No.

I think I'm giving New York a shot.

I'm so tired of those Hollywood jerk-offs.

- All right.

Cut the crap, let's get back to work.

- See you later?

- Sure.

Hi, I'm Sherry.

- Yeah? -l'm supposed to be moving in.

- Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!

Come on in.

Gosh, I'm sorry.

Billie?

Billie?

It's the new girl. She's here.

I'm Joan Harmon.

I just moved in yesterday.

- Oh, there you are.

We thought you'd be here this morning.

- Yes, but I forgot I had a job this morning.

- What do you do? - I model.

The Magdalene Agency?

- Their girls are in Glamour, Vogue.

- Oh, Vogue. Really?

Where'd you go to school?

- Where do you want me?

- Oh, Shit.

I'm sorry.

Right this way. Your room is the one in the back.

I think you'll like this. Plenty of light.

- Our fields aren't really that far apart.

I'm an actress.

Hello?

Yeah, hold on.

Billie, it's for you.

As I was saying, I'm an actress.

In theater. - Hello?

I told you not to call here anymore.

I'm out of the business.

I don't care what she said.

Why don't you go fuck her?

- No. You see, I'm just getting started, but tomorrow's my big day.

It's my first audition.

- A musical? - No.

I'm mean, musicals are fine.

Something like West Side Story.

I want to do something serious, like Euripides.

- That's an old one.

- I don't know about either of you girls, but I could sure use a drink.

- What you got? - Almost anything.

- How about Jack Daniels, straight up?

- You got it. Joan?

- Fine. I'll have the same thing,

with orange juice, please.

- Are you sure?

Oh, before I forget, I'm having the phone number changed.

- Oh, good.

- Billie tells me you're from California.

You have family there?

- Sort of. My mom.

- Oh, she must really be excited about you moving to New York, huh?

- Not really.

We don't get along.

What's there to do in this neighborhood?

- Oh, the usual assortment of discos, dives, single bars.

All ready to fuck you over.

- Well, let's do it.

- What?

- Here's to both of you.

May you pay your rent on the first.

[moody, uptempo music]

[laughing]

I probably shouldn't wait for Ken.

He'll never leave his wife.

Oh, but I don't know.

I can't help it.

I think I love him.

- Does he love you?

- What? I don't know.

[indistinct]

God, he would love it here.

He loves natural theater.

H9)'-

Hey, what's she sniffing?

- Amyl.

- What?

- You know, poppers?

- Oh!

Poppers?

[sirens wailing]

- I don't know about you -- - What?

- I don't know about you, but tomorrow I've got to go to work.

I want to be fresh.

- You really like doing those commercials?

- Oh, yeah, I always wanted to work in film.

I know Assistant Production Manager doesn't sound so great,

but in this company, I feel that I've got a future.

- What?

- Someday, lfeel I've got a future.

Someday, I might even be a producer for a Sherry Lansing movie.

- You guys, I hate to break up a party, but we're going to split.

- With that guy?

You don't even know him.

- So what?

-Isn't that dangerous?

- That's what makes it more fun.

See you, 9113/5-

- Don't worry, Joanie. She can handle herself.

- Oh.

- Stay here.

Right there.

Well, come on in.

What do you think?

You dig the place?

- Nice.

- Where are the ludes? - Ludes?

Oh, one second.

I'll get it.

Stay right there.

Take that.

I'll get it for you, I'll be right back.

[upbeat rock music]

- You know what I want to do?

- What?

- I want to fuck you.

- Wait a second.

Take one of these.

[upbeat rock music cont.]

[moaning]

- You're still here?

About time you got up.

I got a job to get to, y'know.

- Where am I?

- You're in Queens.

Where the fuck do you think you are?

- Queens?

- As in New York. You ever hear of it?

- Just show me how to get back to 77th Street, okay?

- Out there.

[lively big band music]

- That son of a bitch.

For five years, I really believed I was helpless.

Like some kind of a pet.

Every time I talked about a career,

he put me down.

- Excuse me, but let's try this with a sense of honesty, okay?

- Now, what's your New York background?

- Well, I really don't have any, but I've gotten loads of experience.

- No, I'm sorry, but we really need people with Broadway credits.

I'm really sorry.

- My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,

or else my heart concealing it will break,

and rather than its shell, I will be free even to the uttermost

as I please in words.

- Pardon me, but can we try with a little more gusto?

I mean, passion.

- Yes, dear.

How old are you?

- Well, Ijust turned 25 last week.

- Oh, I'm really sorry.

You're much too old for the part.

- Well, I work with Joseph Papp on off-Broadway.

You might've seen me in Desire Under the Elm.

- Thank you.

-L've been working on a modern choreograph --

Dancing?

I'm sorry,

I'm not a dancer.

I just turned 21 last week.

- Well, we were looking for someone with a little bit more maturity.

- Dance?

Well, you ever hear of Martha Graham?

- Help!

Help. police!

- If they would've bought Simmons luggage, that would've never happened.

Simmons luggage is rugged, durable,

and heavy.

- Cut.

Okay.

Let's all take it from the top.

Again.

Okay.

- Have you got the bands arranged for tomorrow?

- Yeah, they'll be on location at 2:oo.

It took a little arm twisting, but I got them.

You know, Ron, I am worried about the Angela Jean spot.

That director hasn't picked a girl yet.

- Well, find someone for him.

- You trust me? - Trust you?

After a week, you handle the business like an old pro.

Call the agencies and get a model.

- You got it. - Hey, Marv.

You haven't met Marv yet, have you?

He's our sales rep.

Marv, I want you to meet our newest hot shot.

- Billie, long time no see.

- You know each other? - Oh, sure.

Billie and I settled a few deals together.

Worked rather closely, too, I might add.

- That was a long time ago.

Excuse me.

- She's a real pro.

- Sarah,

I want you to sit down with me for a minute.

- Yeah, Pa?

- I stopped by McNulty's today. - Okay.

Who's the next victim? - I am.

I'm Joan Harmon.

-L'm Eddie. - Nice to meet you, Eddie.

As you can see, I've been with ACTF, we're performing at the KV Center --

- Hey, relax.

This is not Broadway, you know.

It's only a little showcase.

- I know.

I really want that part.

- You want to be my sister, huh?

- Are you in it?

- Yeah, I was cast last week.

Blackmail.

I typed his lousy script up.

- Great.

- Listen, can I give you a suggestion?

- Sure. - If you really want the part,

he's looking for someone sexy.

- Sexy? l -_

- Yeah. First, get rid of the glasses.

- I can't read without them.

- Fakeit Fakeit

Here, let the hair down.

- Thank you.

We'll get in touch with you.

Eddie, who's next?

- This is Joan Harmon and she studied with Gadg.

- Kazan. Really?

How long were you with him? - Just for a very short time.

- Okay. Here, just get up on page 29.

- You ready?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Sarah,

I want you to sit down with me for a minute.

- Yeah, Pa?

- I stopped by McNulty's today.

- What'd you do that for?

- Pa, I'm sticking by Sarah's side.

Pa, I'm sticking by Sarah's side.

Pa, I'm sticking by Sarah's side. - I got it.

I got the part.

I don't know how to thank you, but thank you.

- Well, then, there, sis, seeing now that we're family,

how about joining me for some grub?

- Lunch?

Well, I don't really have time and I had an awfully late breakfast,

but thank you. I -- - Joanie, you have nothing to worry about.

I'm gay.

- Oh, well, I didn't...l...aw, shit.

- Well? Lunch?

- Okay. - Terrific.

Listen, I know this fantastic place, overlooks the Hudson.

The food is superb and the atmosphere is tops.

- Good food, good view.

Eddie, this is great.

Three weeks of rehearsal, my first New York play.

God, I can't wait to get started.

- Oh, you'll get over it as soon as you see your first paycheck: zilch.

- I don't care, it's theater.

I still have to find a job, something that pays some money.

- Are you proud?

- Can't afford to be.

- Good. Listen, there's a job opening where I work.

Long hours, short pay, good food.

By the way, you're eating it.

Last night's special.

- A waitressing job? - Yeah.

- Well, can you get me in?

- Can I get you in?

I'm the Maitre d' and you are hired.

I got the one on the left.

- Oh, I wasn't -- - Mm-hmm.

-It's incredible!

Two jobs in one day!

Of course, one pays and one doesn't, but who cares?

After all, Bernhardt had to suffer too, didn't she?

- Didn't she die of TB?

- Oh, and you've got to meet Eddie.

Oh, this guy is great.

You'll love him. - Watch out.

Could be dangerous. - What?

You dump your professor friend?

- No, I didn't.

Besides, Eddie's gay.

At least, that's what he said. - Yeah, sure.

Anybody expecting anyone?

- No.

- Oh, Sherry, before I forget, I might have a job lined up for you.

Another one of those jeans commercials?

- Sounds good. - All you got to do is wiggle

your little ass.

Bob, what are you doing here?

- Hey, is that any way to talk to Cleveland's best lay?

-L'm out of the business.

- Bullshit.

Just for a few minutes.

- No, I've got company.

- Hey, I've got the bread.

We'll have a little orgy.

- They're straight.

Now get out of here.

- Look, I only get to New York twice a year.

I want a blowjob.

- Get lost.

- Who the fuck do you think you're talking to, you fucking cunt,

whore, bitch?!

- Get out of my life and stay out!

- I'll call the fucking cops on your ass, you lousy slut.

-L'm sorry, girls.

I'd like to explain.

- You don't have to. - Yes, I do.

You're my roommates and I think you should know the truth.

If you haven't guessed by now, I was a hooker.

I don't regret it.

It was a damn good living.

After a year of struggling in this goddamn town, gloomy apartments,

office Casanovas, I found out there was another way.

All of a sudden, like that, I was part of the American dream.

Gucci handbags,

cocktails at the Plaza,

Cats, and all I had to do was spend two hours a night satisfying

a lonely stranger.

It was fun, exciting.

I felt like a rebel.

Even proud of it.

Then the strain,

always on.

It was a riot.

A regular riot.

Some I even cared for and I couldn't take their money.

I could've died of loneliness.

Well, I'm out.

I beat the calendar.

It was only a matter of time before those $2o tricks, massage parlors --

Well, there you have it.

Confessions of an Ex-Call Girl.

On sale now.

You can find her in bookstores all over town.

Shit.

Look, I don't think that will happen again.

- How could you let men take advantage of you like that?

- Joanie, you missed the point.

It was my choice.

- I know it's just a showcase, but it's a great opportunity to get

some experience.

I mean, who knows who will be in the audience?

Producers, agents.

Anyway, I'm in the title row ofA Song for Sarah.

It's a little corny,

but I love it.

- Oh, God,

I missed you, baby.

I missed you so much.

I thought of that body of yours every night,. Oh, it's so good.

Oh, yeah. [moaning]

- Please, Ted, I want you inside me.

- In a minute. Keep sucking.

Yeah, like that. Oh, yeah.

[moaning] Yeah, faster.

Faster. Oh, God, yeah.

I'm coming. Yes. Oh, suck it.

Don't stop. [moaning]

[moaning]

Oh, don't get dressed.

- Oh, sorry. I gotta catch that 5:45.

- I thought you were going to spend the night.

- You know I can't do that,

I've gotta think ofArlene.

Come on.

Cheer up, huh?

Better?

J1 There's one beer outselling the best J1

J1 Because that beer J1

J1 Has got that zest J1

J1 Dark or light, now's your chance J1

J1 For a Top Slugger J1

- Okay, guys, that's a wrap.

Ron's got the checks.

Thanks for everything.

- Billie, why don't you stick with the mix?

I'll pay off the talent and meet you back at the office.

- No problem.

- Good job.

- This is your first time out in a recording session?

- First time. I'm impressed.

- Now, don't tell me that you really liked that jingle.

- Yeah, it was kinda nice.

- I hate it.

I think that if I have to write one more of those rinky-dink commercials,

they will send me off to Bellevue as a raving madman.

- Then why do you do it?

- That's a good question.

I think I do it for the money.

Yeah, that's it. I do it for the money.

Now, what's it going to be?

French, Greek, what?

- I beg your pardon?

- Dinner.

Oh, now you're not going to play hard to get,

are you?

- Y6P-

- You slut!

I stick up for you with Pa and what do you do?

You whore! - No, you don't understand, Jason.

I did it to help the family! - You're lying!

You're nothing!

You're nothing but trouble,

mean trouble. I intend on beating that meanness out of you, you hear?

- No, Jason! No!

No! No! - And...curtain.

Okay, kids, very good.

Just a few notes.

Eddie, try slapping her on the upstage side.

You're blocking her, particularly in the first slap.

Joan, instead of entering from stage right,

come from the bedroom.

The audience will think you've been at Sally's,

and I want to keep them in suspense.

- There we were.

Now, I'm going crazy, right?

We got 24 hours to do two spots.

Now, I got the baby oatmeal commercial in one room, and in the other,

they're singing their hearts out for disposable douches.

It's complete chaos.

Anyway, we get the thing done,

the optical tracks are made, and then we get the whole thing

to a lab and it's put on film, okay?

Now comes the big day for the screening for the baby food people.

Disaster.

Somehow they got the tracks mixed up,

so you see this little two year-old wolfing down oatmeal while the Santa Anita singers

are chanting the advantages of feminine hygiene.

I didn't know the client ever knew the difference.

- Probably not,

as long as you brought the project in on budget.

- What did you do before you got into the commercial game?

- Nothing important, this and that.

Thanks very much for dinner.

I really enjoyed it.

- Now, this isn't goodbye, is it?

I had designs on your body.

- You're a draftsman, too?

- Fastest T-square east of Park Avenue.

- Shh.

I got roommates.

You! Stop it, Danny.

[upbeat music]

- Now, last one undressed gets their navel kissed from the inside.

- On your mark, get set, shoot.

Shh, be quiet.

- Ta-da!

- I lose.

Start kissing.

- Yeah.

- You're delicious.

- You're pretty cute yourself.

Got to get your neck.

- How did you know?

- Another one of these.

Now --

[laughter]

- Shh.

- Am I inside? [laughter]

- You teasing me?

[laughter]

[moaning] Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

- I can't believe how good you feel.

[moaning and panting]

- Oh, you taste good.

[moaning]

[moaning]

I'm gonna cum.

Oh, you're making me cum.

Oh, I love it.

[moaning]

[moaning and panting]

Oh, Billie.

[moaning]

- Take it easy.

_Qkay.

[moaning]

- Oh, feels so nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

[moaning]

- Try to be a little quieter.

-L'll try.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yeah.

[moaning]

- Shh. - Yes, yes.

- Shh.

[moaning and grunting]

- Do you think Billie's asleep?

- Don't think so.

-L'm going to run and change.

See you in the morning, okay? - Okay.

[laughter]

- Shh.

[plaintive piano music]

- I always go with Angelo.

I'm sorry, I forgot the line.

- Cut.

Honey, it's, "and Angelo goes out with me."

Do you think you can remember that?

Don't print any of this.

Scflpt

- Sherry, what's wrong?

- I just don't feel so good.

- You better get it together.

I put myself on the line for you.

- Okay, let's clear the set.

Sherry, try to put a little life into it.

This isn't Revenge of the Zombies.

- How's the happy hooker?

- Ex. - Oh, what do we call it now?

- Marv, what are you driving at?

- Not a hell of a lot, except that I think you've got

some potential assets for the company.

Y'know, Billie, getting clients is not an easy task.

You've got to win them over.

Woo them, so to speak.

A night on the town is sometimes sufficient.

Sometimes a bribe, or something simpler, a woman.

- Not interested.

- Oh, yes, you are.

That is, of course, if you are genuinely interested remaining

in our employ.

Billie, Billie, it's a simple proposition.

You take care of the clients and we take care of you.

Now, of course, we don't expect you to do it for nothing.

Let's say $2oo per.

That's the going rate, isn't it?

Think about it.

[moaning]

- She loves it. Look at her.

Huh?

You love it, don't you? Good, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

- Look at that slit.

I feel that slippery cum inside.

- Yes, bitch, come on.

You take that hard cock.

[indistinct grunting]

Are you ready?

I'm going to cum all over your face.

- Yeah, cum on her face, Sal.

Rub it in.

Make her eat it.

- Come here, bitch.

- No. - Open it.

Wide.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on, swallow that.

Swallow that load.

- Oh, man.

Better.

- The cunt's so fucked up, she doesn't even know what she's doing.

Jesus.

Who wants her next? You want to take her?

- Thanks, man. - Hey, I got it.

I got it. I got to take a wicked piss, man.

[singing in unison] My Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea.

- Give me a bottle. Any bottle.

- What you going to do, Sal?

- What the fuck does it look like, moron?

I'm gonna shove this thing up her box.

Come on, bitch, spread it.

[screaming]

- Shut up, you love it.

Come on, you guys, help me hold her fucking legs.

Come on.

- After you get that in there, let's try with the tire iron, huh?

[screaming]

- Open your fucking legs, girl. [screams]

- Cut it out. - Come on.

- What do you mean, cut it out?

- We're having fun.

- I mean it. I said, cut it out.

- Hey, fuck you. - Listen, asshole.

I said leave her alone. - You don't tell me what to do.

- All right, get the fuck out of here.

All of you.

Out! Out! Out, you fucker!

Get the fuck out of here!

Qu!

- All right! Look, man --

- Out!

Out! Out!

- Fucking idiot.

- Poor baby.

They hurt you, babY?

You okay?

So pretty.

So pretty.

That's why they did it, because you're so pretty.

Let me see.

Did they hurt your pussy?

Did they hurt your pretty pussy?

Did they hurt you with the bottle?

When they were fucking you, did they hurt you?

Let's me see if they hurt you.

Did they hurt you? [moaning]

Come on, let me see if they hurt you.

They stuck the bottle in.

Did they hurt you with it?

Did they hurt you with the bottle?

When they jabbed it in, did they hurt you with bottle?

[moaning]

- Let me see.

It looks all right.

Looks pretty.

Looks like they didn't hurt you.

It'll be okay.

I'm going to take care of you now.

You'll be okay.

You're going to be okay.

You're going to be all right.

I shouldn't have let them fuck you.

Did they hurt you, baby?

[groaning]

-L'm sorry.

I shouldn't have let them do that.

They pissed all over your tits.

They pissed all over your pretty tits.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have let them.

I shouldn't have let them all fuck you.

I shouldn't have let them fuck the shit out of you.

They pissed on you.

They shoved things in your pussy.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have let them ram a beer bottle up your cunt.

I shouldn't have let them do that.

I'm sorry.

I won't let them do that anymore.

I won't let them come back.

You're going to be just mine.

Okay?

You're going to be just mine.

He won't come back.

I won't let him come back and fuck you again.

I won't let him come back and fuck you.

I won't let him come back and piss on you.

I won't let him come back.

I won't let him come back.

I won't let him.

I won't let him.

[moaning]

Yeah,

yes.

That's a good girl.

Oh, that's a good girl.

That's a good girl.

That's a good girl.

Oh, yeah.

That's a good girl.

That's a good girl.

That's a good girl.

Yeah.

That's a good girl.

There's my girl.

Yeah, yeah.

- Aren't you nervous about the opening?

- Me? Nervous?

Man of nerves?

Hell, I'm petrified.

You know with a smash, it can lead to anything?

Off-Broadway, Broadway.

- Stratford. - Hollywood.

- Oh, co-starring with Sir Lawrence Olivier!

- Doris Day!

-L'll produce my own play.

-L'll star in a musical.

J1 I'm singing in the rain J1

J1 Just singing in the rain J1

J1 What a marvelous feeling, so happy again J1

- And I'll star in Street Car.

- Whoever you are,

I've always depended on the kindness of strangers.

- Bravo! Bravissima!

- I would like to thank all you folks for coming and God bless.

[laughter]

- Listen, you think we really got a chance?

- Of course. Do I look like a liar?

- Oh, wait a minute, I have to get out my glasses for this one.

- Okay, four-eyes.

Ciao.

- Ciao.

J1 Singing in the rain J1

J1 Just singing in the rain J1

J1 Singing in the rain J1

J1 Singing in the rain J1

-l've been waiting an hour.

I don't know, I think we should call it off.

No, really, Mark.

I don't need another woman.

I don't need anyone.

I think she's here.

Listen, I'll call you in the morning.

Yeah, coming.

[knocking on door] - Okay, okay.

One second.

- You must be Dick.

- Yeah, I am.

-L'm Billie.

Mark didn't tell me I'd be going out with such a handsome man.

- Oh, thank you. - Can I come in?

- Yeah, please do.

You're very pretty yourself.

Can I make you a drink?

- Oh, sit down. Relax.

I'll fix the drink.

Ooh, Johnny Walker Red.

I love a man with good taste.

Tell me, Dick, where are you from?

- L'm from Evanston, Illinois.

It's outside of Chicago.

- Sure, I know the place.

- You do?

- God, you're killing me.

Relief.

Here's to fun and games.

- To fun and games.

Do you do this often?

- No.

Only with men I really admire, like you.

- I was wondering, maybe we really shouldn't do this, y'know?

- Baby, you're just so tense.

These are strong shoulders.

Are you strong like that all over?

Oh, easy, Dick. We've got all night, darling.

- I didn't expect anyone like you.

You're just so beautiful.

- Lie down.

Be comfortable.

I want to make you real happy.

Come on, up you go.

Slide up.

Ooh.

Come on, you've got to help me.

You've got to help me.

That's a good boy.

Look at this.

So nice and hard.

This is one of the biggest ones I've ever seen.

I'm going to touch it.

Play with it.

- Oh, wait.

Wait, stop, stop, stop. I said, stop.

Stop, stop. No, no, no, don't, stop.

Yeah, oh, God. Wait a second.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Damn.

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to do that so fast.

Oh, damn it.

I can do it, I really can do it, y'know?

It's just that this is the first time I've ever been with --

- With another woman. - With another woman.

You see, my wife, I'm okay.

She's very haPPY-

I never let her down.

_DQn"[ WOITY-

Don't worry, this happens to a lot of men.

We'll start all over again.

You know what they say, it's better the second time around.

- I don't know if I can.

- Yes, you can.

- Oh, Jesus.

Oh, God.

Jesus, that feels good.

You really are gorgeous.

What are you going to do now?

- You'll see.

Just relax.

- Oh, God.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, shit, this is incredible.

- I told you you'd like it.

I told you could do it.

-L'm going to --

l'm going to --

I'm out of thank you.

Can I get a kiss?

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, can I -- Where can I see you?

- I put a pinch of anchovy paste and two -- not one -- egg yolk,

and the juice from tous les mons.

- Ooh la-Ia! -[indistinct]

And as I put the lettuce on top...

mix well and voila!

Caesar salad.

[cheefing]

- One more time.

- Hope it tastes as good as it smells.

- Teddy, can you really cook?

- Hey, do mashed potatoes grow on the ground?

- That's probably for me.

-It's my girlfriend.

Tell her I'm not here.

- Hello.

Oh, hi, Ted.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, sure.

Yeah, tomorrow's fine.

Hey, well, you know where I work.

Yes, I'll see you then.

I love you.

That was Ted. - Prince Charming himself.

What did he want?

- Don't be like that.

They're coming by the restaurant tomorrow for drinks,

they've got tickets for a show. - Really?

- Yeah, his wife.

- Give me a fucking break, wife.

- Danny, she's really sweet.

She's my costume instructor.

- What did she teach you how to do, wear her husband?

[bell rings]

- Hide the dope.

-L'll get it, I'll get it.

Anything for you guys? - Yeah.

The same, please.

- Good treat.

- Yes? - Hi, is Sherry home?

- Sherry.

Someone's here to see you.

- How'd you find out where I lived?

- You gave me your address.

"My kids?

- Sherry, why don't you invite your friend to have dinner with us?

- Yeah. - Make it couple's night.

- Oh, thanks, sir.

We got reservations.

You ready to go?

- Go where?

- Dinner.

- Wait a minute, okay?

- Guys, it looks like I screwed up.

I got a date.

It looks delicious.

See you guys later, okay?

- Okay. Have a good time.

Take care. - It was great meeting you,

whoever you are.

- Where are you taking me? - Don't worry about it.

Here.

- What is it?

[indistinct background chatter]

- I didn't really have a date with you.

_Huh?

- I just wanted to see you again.

- I knew I didn't tell you where I lived.

- I followed you home.

Here, take this.

I got something really good for you later on.

Would you do something for me?

- What?

- Take your shoes off.

- Why?

- You'll be more comfortable.

- Come on.

Come on.

Do it.

What are you doing?

Shh.

Just keeping them safe.

Now, just take your panties off.

Shh. It's okay.

Come on. - I feel silly.

- You take your panties off. Come on.

Do it.

That's it.

Now, I'd like you to spread your legs.

Come on. Spread your legs.

- I can't. -lt's okay.

- No.

- Waite r.

- What can I do for you? - Ah, yes.

The young lady would like -- - What was it, sir?

- A glass of water. Yes,

one glass of water.

- A glass of water. Thank you very much.

_Qkay.

You know you're my little girl, don't you?

- Hello?

AWbOdy home?

What time is it?

It's half to four o'clock.

Have you been asleep all day?

- Oh, damn.

I missed my job.

- Sherry, what happened to your arm?

- Oh. Oh my God.

- I must have fallen or something.

- On your arm?

Bruises like that?

Sherry, something happened. - Don't worry about it.

I've got to get to work.

Are you going to be okay?

I'll be okay.

- Each sister I dressed in a different gradation of blue

and the rest of the cast are dressed all in black and white.

Oh, it was stunning.

Oh, too bad they didn't know how to wear the costumes right.

Anyway, with Ted's superb direction, we've pulled off a decent show,

if I do say so myself.

We've done enough shows together,

Ted, to know what's decent and what isn't, haven't we?

Oh, by the way, Joanie, how's your little show coming along?

- Oh, fine. We open on Thursday.

- Great.

- Eddie, I want you to meet my drama teacher and his wife,

Arlene and Ted. - How you doing?

- He's my co-star.

- How you doing? Nice meeting you.

Anyway, back to work.

Dirty business calls.

- Oh, speaking of serious theater, where's the theater tonight?

-42nd Street.

- Excuse me, I'll be right back.

- It was so difficult.

We were lucky to get the tickets,

it's almost an impossible show to see.

I've been dying to talk to him.

I thought he'd never piss.

Anyway, I'll give you a hint.

This milk, this is not for me.

Guess.

- ForTéd?

- No.

For the itty-bitty one.

- What?

- L'm pregnant after all these years.

I thought I couldn't have a baby.

Oh, I'm ecstatic.

Ted and I tried and tried.

You don't know that man.

I love him,

but sometimes I think he's a sex maniac, especially this past year.

He comes home after his classes and wow.

Now, don't say anything.

Anyway, I heard the dancers are simply spectacular.

Turned everybody on to tap.

- You have to excuse me.

I've got to get back to work.

- Listen, can we have drinks after the show?

- No, I don't think that'll be possible.

- Goodbye, Ted. - Good bye.

- Good luck, Arlene.

- Thank you.

- He doesn't love me.

He doesn't love me at all. He doesn't love me. (sobbing)

- Beth, you should get some of my attention now.

You know, I'm so nervous about the opening tonight I could scream.

- Don't worry, Joanie.

I don't know how to tell you to relax, but you'll do just fine.

- What's with her?

She's been in there all day.

- Yeah, I know. - Did you see the bruises on her?

- Yeah, and I don't like it.

- If that's Ted, I'm not speaking to him.

He and I are through.

_DQn"[ WOITY-

I hope it's Jim.

Hello?

Hold on, I'll see.

Sherry?

Sherry?

- What? - Sherry, are you home?

It's Joel.

- No.

- She's not here.

No, I don't know when she'll be back.

Has that guy got you into some kind of trouble?

- No, ljust don't want to see him.

I don't like him.

- What's bothering you?

- Nothing's bothering me.

- Come on, Sherry. We know better.

Look, you've been in bed all day.

You missed work three times last week.

You come home bombed out on whatever it is you get high on.

Something has to be wrong.

- Lay off. It's my fucking life, okay?!

- Kick yourself and it won't be.

You'll burn yourself out like a cinder if somebody doesn't kick

your brains in first.

- I don't care.

I want to have fun. I want to party.

I don't care if I live to be 30.

All of a sudden, you act like you care. You don't give a shit.

Nobody does.

- Look, Billie, I'm not coming down on you.

-It's my life to fuck up, okay?

- You get the rent on time.

Just worry about that.

_Qkay.

- Come on, Joan.

Get ready, it's six o'clock.

[upbeat piano music]

- What do you mean they wouldn't let you in carrying a shoulder bag?

- My dear, they were full prevention.

- Wait a minute. - They don't put their babies in a suit.

- Yes, they do.

- Can I borrow your Brussels sprouts? - Now he's an anti-bus boy.

- In Washington.

- We've also got zucchini, cucumbers and --

[indistinct shouting]

Meg!

Thank God you're here!

Where have you been?

- Oh, God. I didn't have the balls to face it.

How did it go? - Oh, I think your play works.

- Meg, congratulations.

- It was great.

Terrific.

- Really?

What did you really think?

- To tell you the truth, at first,

I was a little scared,

but you surprised me.

- You were terrific.

- You mean it? - We both enjoyed it.

- I just adored the play.

Except I thought the second act was just a little slow.

“Hey!

- Oh, Joan, you were wonderful.

- Except for that third act.

[excited chatter]

Oh, Eddie, I'm thrilled.

Guys, I want you to meet Brett.

Brett Parsons. Come here.

- Brett Parsons? Joan, this is Brett Parsons.

He's an agent. - Meg, you yellow son of a bitch,

get over here. - I think you both did a fine job.

- Thank you.

- Not at all. You have talent.

Look, let me level with you.

I'm interested in you both.

Now, I can't make any rash promises, but I'd like to represent you.

- As an agent?

- Of course, Eddie.

Why don't you call my office and we'll set up an appointment?

- Hey, Brett, come here. Sure.

I want you to meet Meg.

- Quiet, everybody. Quiet, everybody.

Quiet, quiet.

Ijust heard it from the Soho News.

They loved it!

- Okay, bye-bye. See you tomorrow.

_5ye-bye.

- We did it.

We did it.

An agent!

- We've got an agent!

- We've got an agent! - We've got an agent!

- We got it, we got it!

- H6Y-

Are you sure?

- I think so.

- Oh, please.

I want you so much.

[soft, serene music]

- Okay, let's see if we can shoot this turkey.

Roll sound.

See? - Roll camera.

- Rolling. Pussy treats, take one.

Action.

Come on, kitty.

- That's a good kitty.

That's it. Eat it.

Eat it.

Eat it.

That's it. Come on.

Cat.

- Come on.

Give him a poke.

How would you like to be a nice rug? - Cat.

- Cut.

Come on, kitty. - Cut.

- Look, we're shooting now.

That cat you sent this morning is a dud.

D-U-D.

That's a good kitty.

- No, I'm not interested in his friskies credits.

What did you feed that thing this morning, a cow?

- No, no.

Come on, kitty.

Cat.

Okay.

Come on.

No.

- Okay, right. - Where have you been?

How come you haven't been returning my calls?

- I haven't had the time.

As it is, we're one day over schedule on this shoot.

- Well, make time.

I've got an importantjob for you.

I think you'll like this one.

Pays a grand.

- What do I have to do, fuck the Boston Symphony?

- No such luck, Billie.

Just some kid getting married.

A little bachelor party thing.

Old American institution.

- Uh-huh.

One-on-one is bad enough, but bachelor parties are the worst.

Forget it.

- Okay, it's forgotten.

Just stop up at accounting and pick up your last paycheck.

- Marv, you wouldn't.

_Qkay.

- Try me.

- Okay, action.

- You know, you're a fucking prick.

- Of course I know.

And because you've always been such a royal pain in the ass, Billie,

I think you owe me a favor.

Guess what I want.

- A lifetime membership to Club Med.

- Okay, action.

That's a kitty.

Nice kitty.

Let's hear it for Mr. Cat.

- Yay! [applause]

_Huh?

Let's see if you remember how to operate a hundred dollar blowjob.

- You're a pig.

- Come on, Billie.

That's it.

Yeah, take it in your mouth.

That's it.

Yeah.

Oh, easy now.

No teeth.

No teeth.

Uh-huh.

That's right.

Come on, come on.

Those teeth hurt.

Not like that.

Yeah.

That's right.

[moaning] Yeah.

- My fucking shoes. - Your fucking shoes.

- Hello.

'ATYS/bfidy home?

- What are you doing here?

- I missed you, baby.

- How'd you get in?

- I just wanted to see you.

Can I see you sometimes?

I love you, sweetheart.

I just want to be able to see you.

Look, I got something for you.

It's your birthday present.

You can have it all.

- Joel, you don't understand.

I'm in a lot of trouble.

I can't take these.

Joel, you don't understand.

- You fucking cocksucking bitch!

What the fuck do you want?!

I'll fucking kill you!

- No! No! No! -l'm going to kill you!

- Help! Help! Help!

_5h@rry7

Sherry?

Sherry?

What is it? What is it?

Sherry?

That you, sweetheart?

Where are you, baby?

I know you're in here.

Come on out.

It's okay.

It's okay, baby.

I guess you're not in here.

Couldn't be in this room.

Guess I'll go home now.

Have some really nice things for my little Sherry.

Oh, well.

Too bad.

[indistinct screaming and yelling]

- Come on, you guys are animals.

Take a break already.

- You've got the nicest tits I've seen in a long time.

- Uh-huh. Willing and able, but not for you.

Take a peek.

They're nice enough. - Hey, guys, I've got anotherjoke.

- No, listen to it. They're good.

- Okay, there's this French Foreign Legion commander

and he's just in from Paris on his inspection from Algeria,

right?

He says to the sergeant, "Where do you guys

get some action around here?"

The sergeant says, "Well, we've got our camel here,

Beflhaf

The commander says, "Bertha?

Okay, I'll give it a try."

He gets a stepladder and he climbs up, and he plugs old Bertha real good, right?

Then he climbs down and he says to the sergeant,

"ls this what you guys do?

You dork Bertha every night?"

The sergeant looks at him like he's crazy and he says,

"No, we get on and we ride her to town.

There are plenty of broads there."

- Almost funny. Almost.

Not quite. So when's the lucky guy going to get here?

- Oh, don't worry, we've got all night.

-L've got something for you.

- What do you want me to do, salute it?

- Oh, what a card.

- Hey, Jim, it's about time.

Things are really getting hot around here.

Jimmy, you've gotta meet Billie.

- Nice meeting you, Jim.

- Oh, she's a laugh riot.

Don't be so shy, Jim, she's not.

- You're tying the knot?

- Why so heavy?

Come on, I'm ready to spill a load.

- You want to fuck?

Let's fuck.

Let me see what kind of a man you are.

Show me that puny dick.

- Hey, what did I do?

- Shut up and give it to me.

- All right. You want to fuck?

Welcome.

Here it comes.

- Oh my God.

What happened?

Who did this to you?

Who did this?

Joel.

Oh my God.

Joel.

Call an ambulance, quick.

- I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

- You won't, honey.

You won't.

You won't.

Don't block the label, honey.

Okay,

a little slower.

Sensual.

- Catch the light.

Spread your fingers.

Come on, he speaks for himself.

Three Cleos, what more do you want?

- Excuse me, Marv, can I talk to you for a minute?

- Hey, guys, I'd like you to meet Billie.

She's one of our greatest assets.

- Nice meeting you. A little slower.

Just give me a second, will you, fellas?

Are you free tonight? - Sure.

What's on your mind, sweetheart?

- You owe me some money. Catch the light.

- Oh, yeah. Right.

One, two.

Services rendered.

- Marv, this is only $200.

- Oh, yeah.

I did promise you more, didn't I?

-$1,000.

- You promised me a half-decentjob.

Those guys the other night were very, very disappointed.

That made me look bad and I don't like that.

Take the deuce.

Oh, and for tonight, I want you to take care of these two.

Because you're such a smart-ass broad, you can do them both for a $1oo bill.

-L'm not doing it.

- You're going to do it, honey.

You're either going to shape up, or get the fuck out.

- Is that it?

- You got it.

- A little slower.

- You motherfucker.

If you ever come near me again, I'll tell the whole fucking world

what a pimp you are.

- Services rendered!

- Sherry, are you all right?

- Yes, I'm fine.

I'll be out in just a minute, okay?

You don't want to be late for your flight.

_Qkay.

I'm hurrying.

- Life must be good.

- You look wonderful. - Yeah.

Eddie and I get along real well together.

We're just taking it a step at a time, though.

Who knows?

- Say, how's she doing?

Much better.

I think it'll do her a lot of good to get back with her mom.

- How's the Broadway star?

It's not Broadway.

It's summer stock.

Can you believe it? I'm playing Blanche.

At least this one pays.

- Really?

You cleaned your drawers,

got your tickets,

and you're all packed.

- Everything.

-L'm going to miss you both.

You take care, too.

Keep in touch.

I want a postcard from every stop.

- You, too. Promise.

Okay.

Bye.

Hi.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

Yes, it is.

Oh, the ad.

Yes, I still have the two rooms available.

Yes.

They're both quite nice.

You'll have access to the living room, the full kitchen,

and there's lots of light.

Do you like plants?

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