Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,317 --> 00:00:20,119
(SHIP HORN HONKING)
2
00:00:31,397 --> 00:00:33,098
(BELLS TOLLING)
3
00:00:41,073 --> 00:00:43,275
Morning, Mr. Evans.
Morning, Jim.
4
00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:49,148
(CAR HORNS HONKING)
5
00:01:19,311 --> 00:01:21,246
♪ Papa says Dada ♪
6
00:01:21,246 --> 00:01:24,116
♪ Baby says Dada, too ♪
7
00:01:27,219 --> 00:01:29,321
♪ Mama goes gaga ♪
8
00:01:29,321 --> 00:01:32,724
♪ Baby goes goo-goo-goo ♪
9
00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:39,698
♪ Now, that's hardly
fancy phraseology ♪
10
00:01:39,698 --> 00:01:42,734
♪ And yet it's understood ♪
11
00:01:43,735 --> 00:01:48,740
♪ A little baby talk
works real good ♪
12
00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:53,712
♪ Papa waves bye-bye ♪
13
00:01:53,712 --> 00:01:57,249
♪ Baby waves bye-bye, too ♪
14
00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,887
♪ Mama says don't cry ♪
15
00:02:01,887 --> 00:02:05,657
♪ Baby goes boo-hoo-hoo ♪
16
00:02:07,593 --> 00:02:09,595
♪ You could spend your life ♪
17
00:02:09,595 --> 00:02:12,598
♪ In child psychology ♪
18
00:02:12,598 --> 00:02:15,901
♪ You wouldn't find a clue ♪
19
00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:17,769
♪ But plain as can be ♪
20
00:02:17,769 --> 00:02:21,840
♪ A little baby talk
sees you through ♪
21
00:02:24,243 --> 00:02:26,778
♪ Baby ♪
22
00:02:26,778 --> 00:02:32,251
♪ If we eliminate
words that keep us apart ♪
23
00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:34,753
♪ Then maybe ♪
24
00:02:34,753 --> 00:02:38,790
♪ We could communicate
face to face ♪
25
00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:41,360
♪ And heart-to-heart ♪
26
00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:48,634
♪ Time to say night-night ♪
27
00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:52,171
♪ Mama say night-night, too ♪
28
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,542
♪ Papa tells Mama ♪
29
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:59,578
♪ Baby, it's only me ♪
30
00:02:59,578 --> 00:03:00,879
♪ And you ♪
31
00:03:00,879 --> 00:03:02,648
(CAR BRAKES SCREECH)
32
00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:13,659
♪ Let's make nice-nice now ♪
33
00:03:13,659 --> 00:03:16,361
♪ And let biology ♪
34
00:03:16,361 --> 00:03:19,898
♪ Step in and save the day ♪
35
00:03:19,898 --> 00:03:25,671
♪ Eventually, another baby
may come to stay ♪
36
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,509
♪ Obviously ♪
37
00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:36,582
♪ A little baby talk
paved the way ♪
38
00:03:48,961 --> 00:03:52,231
(BABIES COOING)
39
00:04:09,548 --> 00:04:12,017
(BABIES CRYING)
40
00:04:32,404 --> 00:04:35,574
(BABIES CRYING)
41
00:04:47,519 --> 00:04:50,489
(CRYING INTENSIFIES)
42
00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:08,473
(BABIES CONTINUE CRYING)
43
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:37,636
Forty-four and still
going strong, huh?
44
00:05:37,636 --> 00:05:39,504
I feel almost 43.
Really?
45
00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:42,107
Yeah.
You look good.
I'll tell you that.
46
00:05:42,107 --> 00:05:44,776
You tell Rudy...
The sign was my idea.
Do you like it?
47
00:05:44,776 --> 00:05:46,945
Take it down.
I knew you'd like it.
48
00:05:46,945 --> 00:05:49,014
I'll take it down.
49
00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:51,416
Living alone all these years
has made you cranky.
50
00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:54,720
You can't spend
your birthday alone.
51
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,822
Why don't you let Betty
and I take you out tonight?
52
00:05:56,822 --> 00:05:58,457
It's later than you think.
53
00:05:58,457 --> 00:06:00,592
Good morning, Mr. Evans.
Morning, Jerry.
54
00:06:00,592 --> 00:06:02,828
Forty-four, your age,
is when it hit me.
55
00:06:02,828 --> 00:06:04,529
What hit ya?
My mortality.
56
00:06:04,529 --> 00:06:06,898
Your what?
My mortality.
Hit me like a brick.
57
00:06:06,898 --> 00:06:09,000
Hey, Mr. Evans,
what's the line-up
of the game tonight?
58
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,969
The Jets in two, Carlos.
CARLOS: Great.
59
00:06:10,969 --> 00:06:13,572
He used to be a
fighter. Lightweight.
Middle-weight.
60
00:06:13,572 --> 00:06:14,873
Yeah, well, he's
a good middleweight.
61
00:06:14,873 --> 00:06:16,708
Good middle-weight?
He's 44.
62
00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:18,477
I woke up one morning,
I said,
63
00:06:18,477 --> 00:06:20,979
"Kurt, stand up,
look around you.
64
00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:22,881
"The world is changing."
65
00:06:22,881 --> 00:06:24,783
The pitcher's going
out to the mound
66
00:06:24,783 --> 00:06:26,685
in a God damn golf cart.
67
00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:28,387
Yes, sir, a man has
gotta have something
68
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:30,088
to leave behind him when
he goes, am I right?
69
00:06:30,088 --> 00:06:31,823
Right.
70
00:06:31,823 --> 00:06:33,392
Here you are,
my best friend.
71
00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:34,960
You manage
Madison Square Garden,
72
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,995
you're popular,
I used to feel inferior.
73
00:06:36,995 --> 00:06:39,631
Then it dawned on me.
What dawned on you?
74
00:06:39,631 --> 00:06:41,867
"Kurt," I said,
"Hell, you've got
a beautiful home,
75
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:43,735
"you got one
terrific family.
76
00:06:43,735 --> 00:06:45,470
"What more could
a man want?"
77
00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:47,406
A nice home,
a nice family.
78
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:50,675
What do you got? You've got
an apartment and plants.
79
00:06:50,675 --> 00:06:52,511
What kind of life is that?
80
00:06:52,511 --> 00:06:55,013
Yesiree, I got one
wonderful family.
81
00:06:56,181 --> 00:06:58,683
By the way, if you see
my son this afternoon,
82
00:06:58,683 --> 00:07:00,519
tell him I'm still alive.
83
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:05,557
Happy birthday,
Mr. Evans.
Thank you.
84
00:07:05,557 --> 00:07:07,125
A lot of people
have nothing like you.
85
00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:09,161
(CHUCKLES)
86
00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:10,862
Hi, big guy.
Hi, little guy.
87
00:07:10,862 --> 00:07:12,831
Happy birthday.
Oh, thank you.
88
00:07:12,831 --> 00:07:14,766
Mail, phone calls,
89
00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:16,868
and the network people
are in your office.
90
00:07:16,868 --> 00:07:18,603
Remember me?
I live with your mother.
91
00:07:18,603 --> 00:07:19,871
"Dad," right?
92
00:07:21,706 --> 00:07:23,642
(CHEERING ON TV)
93
00:07:23,642 --> 00:07:25,210
(WHISTLE BLOWS ON TV)
94
00:07:30,882 --> 00:07:33,118
I think that just
about sums it up.
95
00:07:33,118 --> 00:07:34,886
The film speaks for itself.
96
00:07:34,886 --> 00:07:37,055
See? The sport's
wide-open.
97
00:07:37,055 --> 00:07:38,824
I've got an
11:00 appointment.
98
00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:42,060
Why don't you talk
to Kurt here?
And, of course,
99
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:44,629
we can show slap shot
for between periods.
100
00:07:44,629 --> 00:07:46,064
You can run
the film again.
101
00:07:48,066 --> 00:07:50,735
Why don't we
run the film again?
102
00:07:50,735 --> 00:07:53,805
He has an 11:00
appointment, apparently.
103
00:07:53,805 --> 00:07:55,640
(SIGHS)
104
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,609
(TV CHATTER)
105
00:07:58,577 --> 00:08:00,078
ANNOUNCER:
Ross passes to Michelle,
106
00:08:00,078 --> 00:08:01,646
Michelle crosses
the blue line.
107
00:08:01,646 --> 00:08:03,181
He shoots. He scores!
108
00:08:03,181 --> 00:08:04,716
Well, there you are.
109
00:08:04,716 --> 00:08:06,151
It's just not convincing.
110
00:08:06,151 --> 00:08:10,188
And to be frank,
it's Mr. Evans' input
we came here to get.
111
00:08:10,188 --> 00:08:12,157
Well, I'll be frank
with you, gentlemen.
112
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:14,092
Mr. Evans
is a very pressured man.
113
00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:16,127
I mean, you're very lucky
114
00:08:16,127 --> 00:08:18,096
he's fit you into his
schedule like this.
115
00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:19,898
Everybody's
after his time,
116
00:08:19,898 --> 00:08:23,068
politicians, religious
leaders, corporate giants.
117
00:08:36,248 --> 00:08:37,816
Feed me, big guy.
118
00:08:39,284 --> 00:08:41,186
All right. There we go.
119
00:08:41,186 --> 00:08:42,921
Good shot. Go over there.
120
00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:49,160
(CHUCKLES) Feed me.
121
00:08:52,831 --> 00:08:54,933
So, how old are you?
122
00:08:54,933 --> 00:08:57,168
Forty-four.
Wow!
123
00:08:58,136 --> 00:08:59,704
What do you mean, "Wow"?
124
00:08:59,704 --> 00:09:02,007
Maybe you'd
better sit down.
125
00:09:02,007 --> 00:09:04,009
I'm in great shape.
What are you talking about?
126
00:09:04,009 --> 00:09:06,978
I never knew anyone
who was 44 before.
127
00:09:11,650 --> 00:09:14,886
Your dad's got friends
that are 44 or older.
128
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:16,955
Yeah?
129
00:09:16,955 --> 00:09:18,823
Maybe I'm missing
something in life.
130
00:09:18,823 --> 00:09:20,959
May I ask you a question?
Sure.
131
00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:25,931
Do I seem, uh,
incomplete to you?
132
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:28,833
I had a teacher,
Mr. Collins, he was 43.
133
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:31,236
Is he complete?
No. He's dead.
134
00:09:31,236 --> 00:09:32,837
He died of a heart attack.
135
00:09:32,837 --> 00:09:34,806
Went just like that, bingo.
136
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:39,911
Bingo.
137
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:47,018
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
138
00:09:54,092 --> 00:09:55,727
(COUGHING)
139
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:11,209
WOMAN: Evans?
Right over there.
140
00:10:13,244 --> 00:10:16,081
There. They're inside.
Come on.
141
00:10:19,718 --> 00:10:22,621
♪ It's your birthday today ♪
142
00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:25,123
♪ And everybody here's
gotta say, hey ♪
143
00:10:25,123 --> 00:10:27,859
♪ 'Cause it's
your birthday today ♪
144
00:10:27,859 --> 00:10:29,327
♪ So make a wish ♪
145
00:10:29,327 --> 00:10:31,029
♪ Blow out the candles ♪
146
00:10:31,029 --> 00:10:32,263
♪ Have a big piece of cake ♪
147
00:10:32,263 --> 00:10:35,266
♪ 'Cause you don't have
any love handles ♪
148
00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:37,268
♪ It's your birthday today ♪
149
00:10:37,268 --> 00:10:39,204
♪ And everybody
here's gotta say ♪
150
00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:41,206
♪ Hey, it's your
birthday today ♪
151
00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:42,407
Very nice.
152
00:10:42,407 --> 00:10:44,809
♪ Your wife will
make that special meal ♪
153
00:10:44,809 --> 00:10:47,045
♪ Your kids will
bring your slippers ♪
154
00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:49,347
♪ What a lucky guy,
what a family ♪
155
00:10:49,347 --> 00:10:51,650
♪ Especially those
little nippers ♪
156
00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,051
Very talented.
Thank you very much.
157
00:10:53,051 --> 00:10:54,886
♪ So sing and dance ♪
158
00:10:54,886 --> 00:10:56,354
♪ Jump and shout, whoo! ♪
159
00:10:56,354 --> 00:10:58,289
♪ It's your birthday today ♪
160
00:10:58,289 --> 00:10:59,791
All right.
I'm not married.
161
00:10:59,791 --> 00:11:02,060
Oh. Oh. Okay, uh...
162
00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:03,328
So, uh...
163
00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:05,964
♪ Go on out now and
find that wonderful girl ♪
164
00:11:05,964 --> 00:11:08,299
♪ You're only 44 ♪
165
00:11:08,299 --> 00:11:10,301
♪ Hey, you got
plenty of time ♪
166
00:11:10,301 --> 00:11:13,138
♪ Hurry up! What are
you waiting for? ♪
167
00:11:13,138 --> 00:11:17,075
♪ It's your birthday today ♪
168
00:11:17,075 --> 00:11:20,345
♪ And everybody
here's gotta say ♪
169
00:11:20,345 --> 00:11:22,947
♪ Hey, that it's
your birthday ♪
170
00:11:22,947 --> 00:11:24,082
Come on, everybody!
171
00:11:24,082 --> 00:11:26,351
♪ Talk about your birthday ♪
172
00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:29,854
♪ It's your birthday ♪
173
00:11:29,854 --> 00:11:32,257
Is anybody singing?
♪ To... ♪
174
00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,798
(GAGGING AND COUGHING)
175
00:12:17,435 --> 00:12:18,837
Fine.
176
00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:25,310
So what's bothering
your Buddy?
177
00:12:25,310 --> 00:12:27,011
He thinks
he's getting old.
178
00:12:27,011 --> 00:12:28,313
He's got nothing
to leave behind
179
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:30,448
that says, "Buddy Evans
was here."
180
00:12:30,448 --> 00:12:32,383
Oh. Pretty girl.
181
00:12:32,383 --> 00:12:34,419
We don't say pretty anymore.
That's sexist.
182
00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:36,254
Now we say she's got
good bone structure.
183
00:12:36,254 --> 00:12:37,956
You should know.
You're a doctor.
184
00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:41,359
I think the problem is he
has nothing to leave behind.
185
00:12:41,359 --> 00:12:43,862
There's nothing to say,
"Buddy Evans was here."
186
00:12:43,862 --> 00:12:46,798
Doesn't look too good either.
Why don't you come in?
I'll give you a physical.
187
00:12:46,798 --> 00:12:48,433
I came in last week.
You did?
188
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:52,370
Yeah. You said I looked
fine, fit as a fiddle.
189
00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:54,773
"Fit as a fiddle?"
I never said "Fit as
a fiddle" in my life.
190
00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:56,107
You ever hear me
"Fit as a fiddle"?
191
00:12:56,107 --> 00:12:57,876
Maybe he didn't say that.
He said I looked fine.
192
00:12:57,876 --> 00:13:02,113
You know something?
I've got nothing
to leave behind.
193
00:13:02,113 --> 00:13:03,982
Nothing to say that
Buddy Evans was here.
194
00:13:03,982 --> 00:13:05,350
That's a good point.
Yeah.
195
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,819
Maybe the problem is he's
basically a cold person.
196
00:13:07,819 --> 00:13:09,487
He's not really
a cold person.
197
00:13:09,487 --> 00:13:11,990
Kids like him.
Yeah, kids like me,
don't they?
198
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:14,926
My kid likes you.
So what's missing?
199
00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:17,128
Maybe he should get married,
like the rest of us.
200
00:13:17,128 --> 00:13:19,330
Married? Buddy? No way.
I'm not gonna get married.
201
00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:20,999
He can't live with anyone.
202
00:13:20,999 --> 00:13:23,001
He could try.
Buddy, look, look.
203
00:13:23,001 --> 00:13:24,903
Of all the guys I know,
204
00:13:24,903 --> 00:13:27,338
you're the one guy
who has everything.
205
00:13:27,338 --> 00:13:30,108
No wife, no kids,
no house, no mortgage.
206
00:13:30,108 --> 00:13:31,409
What else could
you ask for?
207
00:13:31,409 --> 00:13:33,278
I don't know.
I envy you.
208
00:13:33,278 --> 00:13:36,548
(LAUGHS) Just relax.
Take two aspirin.
Call me in the morning.
209
00:13:36,548 --> 00:13:38,249
Take the rest
of the day off.
210
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:42,053
Hi.
I like your
bone structure.
211
00:13:44,255 --> 00:13:45,990
There's a $2 minimum.
212
00:13:47,192 --> 00:13:50,428
What, David? No, no,
that's not an alligator.
213
00:13:50,428 --> 00:13:54,232
Now, you see, there's
the daddy bird up there.
214
00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:56,401
And there's the mommy
bird in the nest there.
215
00:13:56,401 --> 00:13:58,837
She sits on the eggs
until they hatch.
216
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:01,239
Some animals, boys and girls,
like the earthworm,
217
00:14:01,239 --> 00:14:04,375
can either be a mommy
or a daddy, depending
on who they meet.
218
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,077
Just like my uncle Barry.
219
00:14:06,077 --> 00:14:07,579
It takes all kinds.
220
00:14:07,579 --> 00:14:10,048
That's for sure.
221
00:14:10,048 --> 00:14:11,349
Some wild animals,
boys and girls,
222
00:14:11,349 --> 00:14:13,551
have interesting
mating habits.
223
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:17,055
For instance, when we go
back to the zoo,
224
00:14:17,055 --> 00:14:18,456
you'll see the emu bird.
225
00:14:18,456 --> 00:14:20,625
Now, the emu
is a fascinating bird,
226
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:23,428
because the mommy
just lays the eggs.
227
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:26,464
And she leaves them there
for the daddy to hatch,
228
00:14:26,464 --> 00:14:28,499
and raise, all by himself.
229
00:14:28,499 --> 00:14:30,535
Now, does anyone
know what we call
230
00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:33,104
a kind of mommy that
just produces offspring
231
00:14:33,104 --> 00:14:34,973
and leaves them for
someone else to raise?
232
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:37,475
I'd call her lucky.
And smart.
233
00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:40,578
MAN: We call that mother
a surrogate mother.
234
00:14:40,578 --> 00:14:43,047
All right, now just
follow me here.
235
00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:46,050
You? A son?
236
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:48,586
(LAUGHING)
237
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:50,555
Oh, come on.
238
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,590
That's the whole point.
239
00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:55,026
I want to have a child,
an heir, you know.
240
00:14:55,026 --> 00:14:58,429
And who will you get
to play the mother
in this little comedy?
241
00:14:58,429 --> 00:15:00,331
Don't you read
the papers?
242
00:15:00,331 --> 00:15:02,600
I'm the most eligible
bachelor in town.
243
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:06,004
As a bachelor, you
might be eligible,
244
00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:07,505
but, as a husband...
245
00:15:07,505 --> 00:15:10,208
(CHUCKLING)
246
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:11,609
I don't know.
247
00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:17,415
I don't think anybody's ever
gonna stay married to you.
248
00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:20,051
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I'm not
getting married.
249
00:15:20,051 --> 00:15:23,121
I'm hiring
a surrogate mother.
250
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:26,424
I'll raise the child
myself, like the emu.
251
00:15:28,559 --> 00:15:30,028
Say what?
252
00:15:30,561 --> 00:15:32,030
That's a bird,
253
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:34,399
and the male
raises the offspring.
254
00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:39,203
You can't live with anyone,
child, woman or emu.
255
00:15:39,203 --> 00:15:42,307
You are the original
Mr. Perfection.
256
00:15:42,307 --> 00:15:45,610
Pencils on the desk,
books on the shelf,
257
00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:49,714
Socks in the right-hand
side of the drawer.
258
00:15:49,714 --> 00:15:53,184
Well, I admit that I am
perfect in some ways,
259
00:15:53,184 --> 00:15:56,054
but there's something
missing in my life.
260
00:15:56,054 --> 00:15:57,588
I mean, when I leave,
what's to say
261
00:15:57,588 --> 00:15:59,457
that Buddy Evans was here?
262
00:16:00,658 --> 00:16:02,460
Oh...
263
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:04,228
What's the matter
with that plant?
264
00:16:04,228 --> 00:16:05,663
It's dying.
265
00:16:05,663 --> 00:16:08,032
$500 plants don't die.
266
00:16:08,032 --> 00:16:11,436
Then we'll just say
it's passing away.
267
00:16:14,605 --> 00:16:16,074
Celia?
268
00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:18,443
I love children.
269
00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:23,181
Somebody else's.
270
00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:24,716
Who don't?
271
00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:27,452
Besides, you a cold fish.
272
00:16:29,087 --> 00:16:30,521
You mean 'cause
I don't go around
273
00:16:30,521 --> 00:16:32,090
hugging people
all the time?
274
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:34,025
That's exactly what I mean.
275
00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:36,327
I have inner warmth.
276
00:16:38,129 --> 00:16:40,064
You could have
fooled me.
277
00:16:41,165 --> 00:16:42,600
Hello, baby.
278
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:45,436
Hello, my little baby.
279
00:16:45,436 --> 00:16:47,372
You see, this one
is healthy.
280
00:16:54,212 --> 00:16:56,347
You're gonna raise
this kid all alone?
281
00:16:56,347 --> 00:16:58,649
It's now. It's contemporary.
Can't you see that?
282
00:16:58,649 --> 00:17:01,019
I can see legal problems.
That's what I can see.
283
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,453
Why don't you just adopt?
284
00:17:02,453 --> 00:17:04,622
Because I want a kid
of my own, thank you.
285
00:17:04,622 --> 00:17:06,524
It's not gonna work.
Of course, it's gonna work.
286
00:17:06,524 --> 00:17:09,660
You just draw up the contract,
you spell everything out.
287
00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:11,329
Let's talk about
her qualifications.
288
00:17:11,329 --> 00:17:12,630
She's got to be perfect,
that's all.
289
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:15,333
Beautiful, intelligent, clean.
290
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:17,235
Who's going to find
this mystery lady?
291
00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:19,137
We are.
"We"?
292
00:17:19,137 --> 00:17:21,305
Come on, buddy, no
woman is gonna do this.
293
00:17:21,305 --> 00:17:22,740
A woman will do this.
294
00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:24,575
We just have to find
her, that's all.
295
00:17:24,575 --> 00:17:27,211
Miss, excuse me.
You have a minute?
296
00:17:27,211 --> 00:17:29,614
Me and my colleagues here
are having an argument.
297
00:17:29,614 --> 00:17:32,183
We need a female opinion.
An honest opinion.
298
00:17:32,183 --> 00:17:34,152
We have this friend...
299
00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:35,686
Distant friend.
Distant friend.
300
00:17:35,686 --> 00:17:37,422
Who would like
to have a son.
301
00:17:37,422 --> 00:17:39,557
But he doesn't want
to get married.
302
00:17:39,557 --> 00:17:41,793
Why not? Is he gay?
303
00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:44,462
No, he's not gay.
He's not gay.
304
00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:47,598
See, the question is,
do you feel, as a woman,
305
00:17:47,598 --> 00:17:50,234
you feel, as a woman, that
you could carry the child
306
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:52,270
of a man who
wasn't your husband?
307
00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:55,540
Why not? Having a baby's
just a biological function.
308
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:57,608
See? There you are.
309
00:18:00,278 --> 00:18:02,447
A rational young lady.
310
00:18:02,447 --> 00:18:04,749
Let's get back to the
qualifications, right?
Okay.
311
00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:06,384
She shouldn't
be too short.
312
00:18:06,384 --> 00:18:09,353
Oh, Celia says she should
have healthy breasts.
313
00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:11,355
I agree with Celia.
314
00:18:11,355 --> 00:18:13,691
WOMAN: Maggie! Up here!
315
00:18:13,691 --> 00:18:15,860
I've been
waiting for you.
316
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:18,262
You've got a letter
from France.
317
00:18:19,163 --> 00:18:21,265
Here. Wait here.
Don't go away.
318
00:18:21,265 --> 00:18:22,667
Just wait right there.
319
00:18:27,505 --> 00:18:29,474
I can't open it.
Open it.
320
00:18:29,474 --> 00:18:31,175
Oh, no, I can't open it.
321
00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:33,544
Open it.
322
00:18:38,382 --> 00:18:39,650
So?
323
00:18:40,685 --> 00:18:42,353
I got it.
324
00:18:42,353 --> 00:18:43,821
You got it?
Yeah.
325
00:18:43,821 --> 00:18:46,824
Oh, Maggie,
that's wonderful!
You've been accepted.
326
00:18:46,824 --> 00:18:50,361
She's going to Paris
and studying with Devereux.
327
00:18:50,361 --> 00:18:51,762
I can't go.
328
00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:54,265
He's the best brass
teacher in the world.
329
00:18:54,265 --> 00:18:56,267
I can't go.
When do you go?
330
00:18:56,267 --> 00:18:57,768
Cathy, I can't go.
331
00:18:57,768 --> 00:18:59,737
What do you mean,
you can't go?
332
00:18:59,737 --> 00:19:01,906
Where am I gonna get
this kind of money?
333
00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:03,741
We're talking big money here.
334
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:06,577
I've got to get there.
I've got to pay tuition.
335
00:19:06,577 --> 00:19:09,680
There's living expenses.
I couldn't work
if I'm studying.
336
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,682
I don't think I have
this kind of money.
337
00:19:11,682 --> 00:19:14,185
How much do you need?
More than I've got.
338
00:19:14,185 --> 00:19:16,154
What about the job
at the restaurant?
339
00:19:16,154 --> 00:19:18,189
You can't go
to France on tips.
340
00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:20,625
I'd have to give lessons
to every brat in the city.
341
00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:22,560
But you can do it.
I know you.
342
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,895
If anyone can do it,
you can do it.
343
00:19:23,895 --> 00:19:25,530
I've got a class.
I gotta go.
344
00:19:25,530 --> 00:19:26,831
Hey!
345
00:19:26,831 --> 00:19:28,533
Oh.
346
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,434
Au revoir.
347
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:32,603
You can do it.
348
00:19:51,622 --> 00:19:52,790
Hi.
349
00:19:53,624 --> 00:19:55,760
Diane Cassabello?
In there.
350
00:19:58,329 --> 00:19:59,931
Hey, you. You can't
go in there like that.
351
00:19:59,931 --> 00:20:01,832
Why not?
You gotta wear a coat.
352
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:04,535
I can't wear this.
353
00:20:04,535 --> 00:20:06,404
Sorry, pal. It's state law.
354
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:09,507
For hygiene.
355
00:20:20,518 --> 00:20:22,353
Diane Cassabello around?
356
00:20:24,455 --> 00:20:26,324
Coming through.
357
00:20:28,292 --> 00:20:29,860
(GRUNTS) Thanks, Mario.
358
00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:33,831
Diane?
Buddy!
359
00:20:33,831 --> 00:20:35,533
Hi.
Hi! How are you?
360
00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:36,867
Fine. You working
here now?
361
00:20:36,867 --> 00:20:38,669
Yeah. Just for
a couple of days.
362
00:20:38,669 --> 00:20:41,305
Thatcher's Temporary
Service sent me here.
363
00:20:41,305 --> 00:20:44,375
Tomorrow I work
at Tiffany's. (COUGHS)
364
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,877
What are you
doing here?
Um, well...
365
00:20:47,812 --> 00:20:49,914
I came to see you.
Me?
366
00:20:49,914 --> 00:20:52,950
(THUDS)
Oh, Buddy, this is Mario.
367
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:54,785
Hi, Mario.
(KNIFE CLATTERS)
368
00:20:54,785 --> 00:20:56,921
(MEAT GRINDER BUZZING)
369
00:20:56,921 --> 00:20:59,690
Is there somewhere
we can we go and talk,
where it's a little quieter?
370
00:20:59,690 --> 00:21:01,392
Buddy, I can't.
I'm working.
371
00:21:01,392 --> 00:21:03,527
But I have something
very important to tell you.
372
00:21:07,031 --> 00:21:09,734
Didn't we have a
wonderful time together?
373
00:21:09,734 --> 00:21:11,636
Us?
Yes.
374
00:21:11,636 --> 00:21:13,304
We had a terrible
time together.
375
00:21:13,304 --> 00:21:15,006
Sure, at the end
of the relationship, yes.
376
00:21:15,006 --> 00:21:16,841
But, in the beginning,
it was wonderful.
377
00:21:16,841 --> 00:21:18,542
It was only a week.
378
00:21:18,542 --> 00:21:20,311
Yeah, but Monday and
Tuesday were terrific.
379
00:21:20,311 --> 00:21:22,413
(GIGGLES) Buddy?
Yes.
380
00:21:22,413 --> 00:21:26,550
I want you to have my baby!
I want you to be the mother
of my son!
381
00:21:27,818 --> 00:21:28,919
Me?
382
00:21:30,921 --> 00:21:32,890
You want to marry me?
383
00:21:32,890 --> 00:21:35,393
No.
Oh.
384
00:21:35,393 --> 00:21:38,929
I don't want to marry you.
I just want you to be
a surrogate mother.
385
00:21:38,929 --> 00:21:40,931
I mean, Buddy, I mean,
you're the most el...
386
00:21:40,931 --> 00:21:42,600
(COUGHING)
387
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,535
Eligible bachelor
in the city.
388
00:21:44,535 --> 00:21:46,537
You could have anybody.
389
00:21:46,537 --> 00:21:48,673
Of course, but...
Of course,
390
00:21:48,673 --> 00:21:50,975
I don't want a chorus girl
for the mother of my baby.
391
00:21:50,975 --> 00:21:53,611
Well, why me?
You're the first person
I thought of
392
00:21:53,611 --> 00:21:55,546
when I thought
about having a baby.
393
00:21:55,546 --> 00:21:59,350
You're gentle, and
you're sensitive,
394
00:21:59,350 --> 00:22:01,352
And you're the most
vulnerable person...
395
00:22:01,352 --> 00:22:02,987
God, that's disgusting!
396
00:22:02,987 --> 00:22:06,390
Buddy... I'm sorry.
397
00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:08,793
I mean, I think that
you're a great guy.
398
00:22:08,793 --> 00:22:11,696
And I think that you have
a fabulous sense of humor.
399
00:22:11,696 --> 00:22:15,533
And I'm sure that
somebody is gonna wanna
have a baby for you.
400
00:22:16,767 --> 00:22:19,537
But it's not me.
Oh.
401
00:22:25,476 --> 00:22:26,877
Maybe we should go...
402
00:22:28,913 --> 00:22:30,815
It was great seeing
you again, Buddy.
403
00:22:30,815 --> 00:22:33,617
(MEAT GRINDER TURNS ON)
Great seeing you again.
404
00:22:33,617 --> 00:22:35,353
Bye.
Bye.
405
00:22:41,892 --> 00:22:45,129
Here.
KURT: So Diane's
the lucky woman, eh?
406
00:22:45,129 --> 00:22:47,431
Diane's involved
with a butcher.
407
00:22:47,431 --> 00:22:49,700
But, Connie, that's the
woman I'm seeing tonight.
408
00:22:50,601 --> 00:22:52,837
She's, uh, she's something.
409
00:22:52,837 --> 00:22:55,473
I mean, absolutely
gorgeous, and...
410
00:22:55,473 --> 00:22:57,975
She's gonna relate
to what I'm asking.
411
00:22:57,975 --> 00:23:00,378
(INAUDIBLE)
412
00:23:14,992 --> 00:23:17,661
KURT: So Connie's
the lucky woman, eh?
413
00:23:17,661 --> 00:23:20,131
BUDDY: Connie's not as
serious as she used to be,
414
00:23:20,131 --> 00:23:23,834
but, Emily, the one
i'm seeing this afternoon...
415
00:23:23,834 --> 00:23:25,803
I tell ya, I got
a hunch about her.
416
00:23:35,446 --> 00:23:37,448
KURSo when do we
get to meet Emily?
417
00:23:37,448 --> 00:23:39,650
BUDDY: Emily's, uh,
thinking about it.
418
00:23:39,650 --> 00:23:41,485
But, Veronica,
she's the one
419
00:23:41,485 --> 00:23:43,120
that's coming over to
the office this afternoon.
420
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:45,523
God, I haven't seen her
in six years.
421
00:23:45,523 --> 00:23:48,192
But I'll tell you
something, Kurt.
422
00:23:48,192 --> 00:23:50,928
It would be a lot of fun
having a baby with her.
423
00:23:50,928 --> 00:23:53,931
She's got a body
that doesn't quit!
424
00:23:53,931 --> 00:23:55,800
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
425
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,502
Come in. It's open.
426
00:24:02,940 --> 00:24:04,975
(GLASS SHATTERING)
427
00:24:04,975 --> 00:24:07,812
I tell you, Kurt,
I am so nervous.
428
00:24:07,812 --> 00:24:10,881
It's 10:00 in the morning,
and I'm having a vodka
and tonic.
429
00:24:10,881 --> 00:24:13,918
When's the last time you knew
me to have a vodka and tonic
at 10:00 in the morning?
430
00:24:13,918 --> 00:24:16,654
Uh, anyway, the two you're
gonna see this afternoon
431
00:24:16,654 --> 00:24:18,022
are the cream of the crop.
432
00:24:18,022 --> 00:24:20,157
Uh, the first one
is Miss Werner.
433
00:24:20,157 --> 00:24:21,859
BUDDY: She's outside now,
waiting for me.
434
00:24:21,859 --> 00:24:23,627
Yeah, you'll like her.
435
00:24:23,627 --> 00:24:25,496
But, the second one,
Miss Jacqueline...
436
00:24:25,496 --> 00:24:27,031
Now, this is a class act.
437
00:24:27,031 --> 00:24:29,633
I know what was wrong before.
438
00:24:29,633 --> 00:24:31,635
I was too aggressive.
439
00:24:31,635 --> 00:24:34,505
I have a very good feeling
about these two ladies.
440
00:24:34,505 --> 00:24:36,607
I hope so, Buddy,
because this is it.
441
00:24:36,607 --> 00:24:38,008
I'm a lawyer, not a pimp.
442
00:24:38,976 --> 00:24:40,878
Right.
443
00:24:40,878 --> 00:24:42,246
Kurt...
444
00:24:42,913 --> 00:24:44,515
Listen to this.
445
00:24:46,817 --> 00:24:47,952
Quinby.
446
00:24:48,519 --> 00:24:50,154
What?
447
00:24:50,154 --> 00:24:51,889
Quinby.
448
00:24:51,889 --> 00:24:53,691
"Quinby"?
449
00:24:53,691 --> 00:24:55,226
BUDDY: It's a
Scandinavian name.
450
00:24:58,195 --> 00:25:00,598
It's from Scandinavia.
451
00:25:00,598 --> 00:25:02,600
(DIAL TONE)
452
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,168
Kurt?
453
00:25:13,911 --> 00:25:15,980
Quinby?
454
00:25:15,980 --> 00:25:18,148
Hi.
455
00:25:18,148 --> 00:25:20,117
It's Daddy. I'm home.
456
00:25:27,191 --> 00:25:28,759
Laurie.
457
00:25:28,759 --> 00:25:31,195
Tell Miss, uh, Werner
to come in, please.
458
00:25:31,996 --> 00:25:33,297
Thank you.
459
00:25:34,265 --> 00:25:35,799
(DOOR OPENS)
460
00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:38,035
Hi.
461
00:25:39,904 --> 00:25:41,305
Hello.
462
00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:49,213
I'd like to make this
as pleasant as possible.
463
00:25:49,213 --> 00:25:50,748
Wonderful.
464
00:25:50,748 --> 00:25:52,750
Um, sit down.
Thank you.
465
00:25:54,018 --> 00:25:56,186
(CHUCKLES)
466
00:25:56,186 --> 00:25:58,622
Oh, I was just looking
at this book here
467
00:25:58,622 --> 00:26:00,124
Of children's names.
468
00:26:01,859 --> 00:26:03,694
Quinby.
469
00:26:03,694 --> 00:26:06,063
How do you like that?
470
00:26:06,063 --> 00:26:08,065
Quinby.
471
00:26:08,065 --> 00:26:09,700
It sucks.
472
00:26:19,209 --> 00:26:21,812
What are those?
473
00:26:21,812 --> 00:26:24,715
What are what?
Those things on your teeth.
474
00:26:24,715 --> 00:26:26,283
(LISPING) They're braces.
475
00:26:26,283 --> 00:26:29,119
I know they're braces.
But do you have to wear them?
476
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,256
No. They're the latest
in costume jewelry.
477
00:26:32,256 --> 00:26:34,058
Of course
I have to wear them.
478
00:26:38,028 --> 00:26:39,730
I see.
479
00:26:41,765 --> 00:26:43,267
Well, it's just that...
480
00:26:43,267 --> 00:26:46,870
I don't want my son
to look like Jaws 2.
(CHUCKLES)
481
00:26:46,870 --> 00:26:48,138
(CHUCKLES)
482
00:26:48,138 --> 00:26:50,874
Well, he could end up
with your forehead.
483
00:26:53,177 --> 00:26:54,979
What's wrong
with my forehead?
484
00:26:54,979 --> 00:26:57,648
Look at those lines.
What lines?
485
00:26:57,648 --> 00:26:59,750
Looks like it's suffering
from erosion.
486
00:27:00,918 --> 00:27:02,853
As long as we're
talking about looks,
487
00:27:02,853 --> 00:27:05,155
your nose isn't
exactly classic.
488
00:27:05,155 --> 00:27:06,890
Has anyone ever suggested
489
00:27:06,890 --> 00:27:08,959
that you plant corn
in your eyebrows?
490
00:27:08,959 --> 00:27:10,260
My eyebrows are fine.
491
00:27:10,260 --> 00:27:12,162
Sure. If you're
into wildlife.
492
00:27:13,063 --> 00:27:14,698
That's very amusing.
493
00:27:14,698 --> 00:27:16,066
Thank you.
494
00:27:16,066 --> 00:27:17,935
As long as we're
talking about hair,
495
00:27:17,935 --> 00:27:20,938
about that mat
on your head...
496
00:27:20,938 --> 00:27:22,640
What about it?
497
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,708
Well, do you shampoo it,
498
00:27:24,708 --> 00:27:28,178
or do you have it
crop-dusted?
499
00:27:28,178 --> 00:27:29,680
(SNICKERING)
500
00:27:33,350 --> 00:27:36,353
That is the rudest man
I have ever met.
501
00:27:36,353 --> 00:27:37,988
Please, forgive him.
502
00:27:37,988 --> 00:27:39,923
This is very
important to him.
503
00:27:39,923 --> 00:27:41,959
I can understand
about my braces.
504
00:27:41,959 --> 00:27:44,762
But there is nothing
wrong with my nose.
505
00:27:44,762 --> 00:27:47,164
It's a terrific nose.
I'm Miss Lofton,
506
00:27:47,164 --> 00:27:49,166
I'm the interior decorator
that Mr. Evans hired,
507
00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:50,734
to do a room
in his apartment.
508
00:27:50,734 --> 00:27:53,203
I don't have an appointment,
but, um, what if I...
509
00:27:53,203 --> 00:27:55,439
Oh, well, there's his
secretary, there. Laurie!
510
00:27:55,439 --> 00:27:58,242
Yes. Hi. I'm Jenny Lofton,
the decorator.
511
00:27:58,242 --> 00:27:59,910
Hi. Do you have
an appointment?
512
00:27:59,910 --> 00:28:03,213
No. But he called me last
week about doing a room
513
00:28:03,213 --> 00:28:05,883
in his apartment, and
I think I better meet him.
514
00:28:05,883 --> 00:28:07,685
I had a few minutes,
that was it.
515
00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:09,787
I'm sorry. I can't let you in
without an appointment.
516
00:28:09,787 --> 00:28:11,855
Why don't you just
let me just pop in, okay?
517
00:28:11,855 --> 00:28:13,190
(SOBBING)
Okay.
518
00:28:13,190 --> 00:28:15,826
MISS WERNER: (CRYING)
Quinby sucks!
519
00:28:17,261 --> 00:28:19,430
Mr. Evans?
Whoa.
520
00:28:23,467 --> 00:28:26,770
Hi. I'm Jenny.
I know.
521
00:28:26,770 --> 00:28:29,840
I mean, I know who you are.
I've been expecting you.
522
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:31,709
You have?
523
00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:32,810
Yeah.
524
00:28:34,278 --> 00:28:35,979
Make yourself at home.
525
00:28:35,979 --> 00:28:37,314
Thank you.
526
00:28:39,149 --> 00:28:41,385
Is that Fordham?
Yeah.
527
00:28:41,385 --> 00:28:43,754
Listen, I'm sorry if this
seems a little rushed,
528
00:28:43,754 --> 00:28:46,156
but I'm suppose to be
meeting my aunt downtown.
529
00:28:46,156 --> 00:28:48,959
She's getting a big award
from her union today.
530
00:28:48,959 --> 00:28:51,495
They're going around
Manhattan on this boat.
531
00:28:51,495 --> 00:28:53,297
The Circle Line.
532
00:28:53,297 --> 00:28:55,466
You did go to Fordham.
I went to Columbia.
533
00:28:55,466 --> 00:28:59,236
Good. That's very good.
I like that.
534
00:28:59,236 --> 00:29:00,404
I liked it, too.
535
00:29:05,976 --> 00:29:07,211
Quinby.
536
00:29:10,214 --> 00:29:11,381
Quinby.
537
00:29:11,381 --> 00:29:14,084
No, thanks. I never
drink on the job.
538
00:29:14,084 --> 00:29:16,253
It's not a drink.
It's a boy's name.
539
00:29:19,156 --> 00:29:20,924
Quinby.
Huh.
540
00:29:20,924 --> 00:29:22,226
Hmm.
541
00:29:25,996 --> 00:29:27,431
You know what it means?
542
00:29:29,366 --> 00:29:32,169
"From the woman's womb."
It's Scandinavian.
543
00:29:35,305 --> 00:29:38,876
That makes sense.
Yeah.
544
00:29:38,876 --> 00:29:41,912
Let's not get all fouled up
In this sexual mystique.
545
00:29:41,912 --> 00:29:44,114
It's a business
transaction, cut and dry.
546
00:29:44,114 --> 00:29:45,849
Boy, am I glad
you said that.
547
00:29:47,184 --> 00:29:49,553
I can't tell you how many
men take it for granted...
548
00:29:49,553 --> 00:29:52,356
Just throw those thoughts
right out of your head.
Thank you.
549
00:29:52,356 --> 00:29:55,359
You come here, you do
a service, I pay you for it.
550
00:29:55,359 --> 00:29:56,960
Right.
551
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,029
Completely unemotional.
Completely.
552
00:30:02,366 --> 00:30:03,867
May I see your breasts?
553
00:30:06,036 --> 00:30:08,038
What?
554
00:30:08,038 --> 00:30:11,275
It's without any
sexual stimulation.
No emotion.
555
00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:13,243
We're talking about
tools of the trade.
556
00:30:14,178 --> 00:30:16,280
When you look at my...
557
00:30:17,114 --> 00:30:19,383
Oh, God.
558
00:30:19,383 --> 00:30:21,451
I want to be completely
open about this.
559
00:30:22,553 --> 00:30:24,855
When you look
at my genitals,
560
00:30:24,855 --> 00:30:27,157
you're not looking
at my genitals.
561
00:30:27,157 --> 00:30:29,927
Think of them
as a potato peeler.
562
00:30:29,927 --> 00:30:31,128
(EXHALES)
563
00:30:32,429 --> 00:30:34,364
Maybe not a potato peeler.
564
00:30:42,873 --> 00:30:44,908
Don't forget
your 2:00 meeting.
565
00:31:10,267 --> 00:31:11,869
Mr. Evans!
566
00:31:11,869 --> 00:31:13,203
Back at 2:00!
567
00:31:31,288 --> 00:31:32,489
Hi, folks.
568
00:31:32,489 --> 00:31:34,091
Bank and Hudson.
Follow that cab.
569
00:31:34,091 --> 00:31:35,392
Bank and Hudson.
Will you follow the cab.
570
00:31:35,392 --> 00:31:37,094
Bank and Hudson.
It's an emergency.
571
00:31:37,094 --> 00:31:38,996
I'm not getting out.
Fine. I'll drop you off.
572
00:31:38,996 --> 00:31:41,965
Hey, folks,
I'll follow that cab.
573
00:31:44,101 --> 00:31:47,571
CAB DRIVER: I'm going
as fast as the law
permits, sir.
574
00:31:47,571 --> 00:31:49,039
I won the Auto
Company Award
575
00:31:49,039 --> 00:31:51,141
for most courteous
cabdriver in the city.
576
00:31:51,141 --> 00:31:52,309
Three years running.
577
00:31:52,309 --> 00:31:53,944
BUDDY: No kidding.
578
00:31:55,379 --> 00:31:56,446
I really appreciate this.
579
00:31:56,446 --> 00:31:58,348
As soon as we can
catch that cab,
580
00:31:58,348 --> 00:32:00,417
drop me off.
Go where you wanna go
581
00:32:00,417 --> 00:32:01,919
and I'll pay for it.
582
00:32:01,919 --> 00:32:03,453
No, I have three
students waiting.
583
00:32:03,453 --> 00:32:05,355
It's $20
per half hour.
584
00:32:05,355 --> 00:32:07,257
I'll pay for everything.
585
00:32:07,257 --> 00:32:10,227
BUDDY: It's not a red light.
That's a yellow light.
586
00:32:11,261 --> 00:32:13,297
Look, they're all
running it. You run it.
587
00:32:13,297 --> 00:32:14,932
CAB DRIVER: I can't
break the law, sir.
588
00:32:14,932 --> 00:32:17,100
I've never had
a moving violation.
589
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:18,635
BUDDY: Of course
you've never had
a moving violation.
590
00:32:18,635 --> 00:32:21,305
You can't get
a moving violation.
Unless you're moving!
591
00:32:21,305 --> 00:32:24,041
CAB DRIVER: It's green.
Here we go.
592
00:32:24,041 --> 00:32:26,043
We're losing it.
We're losing the taxi.
593
00:32:26,043 --> 00:32:27,444
Who are we losing?
594
00:32:27,444 --> 00:32:30,580
We're losing mother of
my future child.
595
00:32:30,580 --> 00:32:32,482
Hey. Don't I know you
from someplace?
596
00:32:32,482 --> 00:32:34,484
MAGGIE: Yeah.
The coffee shop,
Woodson's.
597
00:32:34,484 --> 00:32:35,652
I'm Maggie.
598
00:32:35,652 --> 00:32:37,220
CAB DRIVER: Hi, Maggie.
I'm Randy.
599
00:32:37,220 --> 00:32:38,522
BUDDY: Who cares?
600
00:33:04,448 --> 00:33:06,016
WOMAN: Thank you very much.
601
00:33:06,016 --> 00:33:08,251
Ladies and gentlemen,
602
00:33:08,251 --> 00:33:12,155
today, before we go out
on our annual outing...
603
00:33:12,155 --> 00:33:14,558
Those people are walking
faster than us.
604
00:33:14,558 --> 00:33:16,560
There's an old lady
just ran right by us.
605
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,396
You just sit back, relax
and enjoy the view.
606
00:33:19,396 --> 00:33:21,331
BUDDY: Hold it!
Make a U-turn.
607
00:33:21,331 --> 00:33:23,567
She said she was going
to the circle line.
608
00:33:25,135 --> 00:33:29,373
CAB DRIVER: (SINGING)
♪ I love New York ♪
609
00:33:29,373 --> 00:33:32,776
♪ I love New York ♪
610
00:33:34,244 --> 00:33:35,345
RANDY: Red light!
611
00:33:36,179 --> 00:33:38,315
I would like to present
612
00:33:38,315 --> 00:33:41,752
the award
for lifelong service
613
00:33:41,752 --> 00:33:43,754
to Ethel Lofton.
614
00:33:43,754 --> 00:33:45,422
(APPLAUDING AND CHEERING)
615
00:33:47,691 --> 00:33:49,493
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
616
00:33:53,764 --> 00:33:56,366
After I started in
ladies' undergarments
617
00:33:56,366 --> 00:33:58,035
way back,
618
00:33:58,035 --> 00:33:59,536
my mother,
God rest her soul,
619
00:33:59,536 --> 00:34:01,605
had only one thing
to say to me,
620
00:34:01,605 --> 00:34:03,040
"Why?"
621
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:04,107
(ALL LAUGHING)
622
00:34:05,609 --> 00:34:07,177
Thank you, Ethel.
(INAUDIBLE)
623
00:34:10,213 --> 00:34:12,349
Uh, ladies, um...
624
00:34:12,349 --> 00:34:14,117
You're paying for
this boat by the hour.
625
00:34:14,117 --> 00:34:15,685
So enough talk.
Let's get a move on.
626
00:34:17,587 --> 00:34:19,656
(WORKERS SINGING LABOR SONG)
627
00:34:26,763 --> 00:34:28,065
BUDDY: Can you go
a little faster?
628
00:34:28,065 --> 00:34:29,332
Just a little faster?
629
00:34:29,332 --> 00:34:31,401
RANDY: I never exceed
35 miles per hour.
630
00:34:31,401 --> 00:34:32,469
It's the law.
631
00:34:32,469 --> 00:34:34,137
BUDDY: What law?
This is New York.
632
00:34:34,137 --> 00:34:35,539
(CARS HONKING)
633
00:34:39,176 --> 00:34:40,811
Jenny!
(SINGING CONTINUES)
634
00:34:40,811 --> 00:34:43,480
Am I glad
to see you.
635
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,215
There's a crazy man
following me.
636
00:34:45,215 --> 00:34:46,349
Where?
In a taxi.
637
00:34:46,349 --> 00:34:47,717
He's been following me
all day.
638
00:34:47,717 --> 00:34:49,753
Ethel, I don't think
we ought to stand here.
639
00:34:49,753 --> 00:34:51,088
Come on. Get on the boat.
640
00:34:51,088 --> 00:34:52,589
MAN: No one on
without a button.
641
00:34:54,591 --> 00:34:56,426
RANDY: What a terrific day.
642
00:34:56,426 --> 00:34:59,196
I really enjoy
meeting new people.
643
00:34:59,196 --> 00:35:01,098
Curb side
is the safe side.
644
00:35:01,098 --> 00:35:02,799
(GROANS) Give me
a break, Raymond.
645
00:35:02,799 --> 00:35:04,401
Thank you for not
slamming the door.
646
00:35:04,401 --> 00:35:05,502
Have a nice day.
647
00:35:05,502 --> 00:35:07,104
Hey, he took
my horn!
648
00:35:07,104 --> 00:35:10,240
All aboard for this
once-in-a-lifetime
tour
649
00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:12,409
around glorious
Manhattan island.
650
00:35:14,377 --> 00:35:15,812
Jenny!
651
00:35:16,813 --> 00:35:18,582
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
652
00:35:21,485 --> 00:35:22,652
You're what?
653
00:35:22,652 --> 00:35:24,821
Okay, ladies, we're
almost on our way.
654
00:35:24,821 --> 00:35:26,256
Step lively!
655
00:35:35,899 --> 00:35:37,667
Hey,
where's your button?
656
00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:39,269
I lost it.
657
00:35:39,269 --> 00:35:41,638
Jenny!
(LAUGHING)
658
00:35:41,638 --> 00:35:43,607
Jenny! Jenny!
659
00:35:43,607 --> 00:35:45,442
Jenny! Jenny!
I'm getting off
the boat.
660
00:35:46,776 --> 00:35:48,812
I didn't mean
the crack about
the breasts!
661
00:36:14,938 --> 00:36:16,606
MAGGIE: There you are!
662
00:36:16,606 --> 00:36:18,441
You've got my horn.
663
00:36:18,441 --> 00:36:19,776
Mr. Evans!
664
00:36:24,915 --> 00:36:26,483
We're not
talking about
665
00:36:26,483 --> 00:36:28,752
tone-deaf children
from Westchester.
666
00:36:28,752 --> 00:36:30,754
Tuffy Daniels
has promise.
667
00:36:30,754 --> 00:36:32,856
Now, Joey has a slight
embouchure problem.
668
00:36:32,856 --> 00:36:34,424
You know, the muscles
that form the mouth.
669
00:36:34,424 --> 00:36:36,693
That Darby kid is
a little screwed up,
670
00:36:36,693 --> 00:36:39,429
but today is
the first lesson
that I've missed.
671
00:36:39,429 --> 00:36:41,498
I... I can't afford this.
672
00:36:41,498 --> 00:36:45,235
Mr. Evans, I just
can't afford this.
673
00:36:45,235 --> 00:36:47,237
CAPTAIN: I want you
to look right over there.
674
00:36:47,237 --> 00:36:49,873
There. See?
Beth Israel Hospital.
675
00:36:49,873 --> 00:36:52,943
I had my gallbladder
out there in '62.
676
00:36:52,943 --> 00:36:54,477
Terrific hospital.
677
00:36:54,477 --> 00:36:56,513
Fantastic nurses.
678
00:36:56,513 --> 00:36:57,914
Clean.
679
00:36:57,914 --> 00:36:59,549
Food...
680
00:36:59,549 --> 00:37:00,951
It's kind of atrocious,
681
00:37:00,951 --> 00:37:02,686
but it's better
than over in Jersey.
682
00:37:02,686 --> 00:37:04,387
Never get sick
in Jersey.
683
00:37:04,387 --> 00:37:06,957
Hospitals in Jersey...
They stink.
684
00:37:08,358 --> 00:37:10,293
You really love her,
don't you?
685
00:37:11,528 --> 00:37:12,662
Who?
686
00:37:12,662 --> 00:37:13,863
Jenny.
687
00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:18,735
Jenny who?
688
00:37:18,735 --> 00:37:21,805
The Jenny we've been
chasing all afternoon.
689
00:37:22,872 --> 00:37:26,276
But you said she was
the mother of your child.
690
00:37:26,276 --> 00:37:27,744
Supposed to be.
691
00:37:27,744 --> 00:37:29,646
I don't get this.
692
00:37:31,781 --> 00:37:33,483
She's a surrogate mother.
693
00:37:33,483 --> 00:37:37,654
Oh. Oh, you mean
she's going to
have your baby.
694
00:37:37,988 --> 00:37:39,589
Not anymore.
695
00:37:39,589 --> 00:37:41,524
I'm not gonna have a baby
with a woman like that.
696
00:37:41,524 --> 00:37:42,993
Too temperamental.
697
00:37:42,993 --> 00:37:44,594
Just mention
the word breasts,
698
00:37:44,594 --> 00:37:45,829
she goes bananas.
699
00:37:45,829 --> 00:37:47,564
What's your name, again?
Maggie.
700
00:37:47,564 --> 00:37:49,366
That's right. Maggie.
Right.
701
00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:52,035
Why don't you just
get married?
702
00:37:52,035 --> 00:37:53,670
I don't want a wife.
703
00:37:53,670 --> 00:37:55,505
I want a son.
704
00:37:56,740 --> 00:37:58,275
What for?
705
00:38:00,710 --> 00:38:01,911
For me.
706
00:38:03,313 --> 00:38:05,048
For history. You know.
707
00:38:05,915 --> 00:38:07,651
And I want something
that says,
708
00:38:07,651 --> 00:38:09,319
"Buddy Evans was here."
709
00:38:10,687 --> 00:38:12,689
Well, there's a whole
boatload of people
710
00:38:12,689 --> 00:38:14,658
that will remember
you forever.
711
00:38:15,759 --> 00:38:17,560
You wouldn't understand.
You're too young.
712
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,362
Age has nothing
to do with it.
713
00:38:19,362 --> 00:38:21,665
I can understand your
wanting to have a child.
714
00:38:21,665 --> 00:38:23,767
A lot of people
want that experience
715
00:38:23,767 --> 00:38:25,635
sometime in their lives,
716
00:38:25,635 --> 00:38:27,337
even me.
717
00:38:27,337 --> 00:38:28,538
But...
718
00:38:28,538 --> 00:38:29,873
I don't wanna get married
719
00:38:29,873 --> 00:38:32,442
or have anything
to do with kids really.
720
00:38:32,442 --> 00:38:34,811
I... I can't
handle children.
721
00:38:36,846 --> 00:38:38,915
CAPTAIN: Okay,
now we're coming up
722
00:38:38,915 --> 00:38:40,784
on the United Nations
723
00:38:40,784 --> 00:38:43,953
where they do
all that world stuff,
724
00:38:43,953 --> 00:38:46,356
but first, I want you
to look over there
725
00:38:46,356 --> 00:38:48,024
to the Bellevue Hospital.
726
00:38:48,024 --> 00:38:50,994
I had a herniated disc
fixed up there.
727
00:38:50,994 --> 00:38:53,363
Top-class doctors.
Top-class.
728
00:38:53,363 --> 00:38:55,065
I got lucky.
I had an oriental.
729
00:38:55,065 --> 00:38:57,500
Take my advice.
You got a herniated disc,
730
00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:59,803
get yourself an oriental.
731
00:38:59,803 --> 00:39:01,738
Okay, that's $60
for the students,
732
00:39:01,738 --> 00:39:04,641
$20 for Mrs. Darby,
$23 for the cab,
733
00:39:04,641 --> 00:39:05,742
including the tip,
734
00:39:05,742 --> 00:39:09,846
and then $25,000
to have your child.
735
00:39:09,846 --> 00:39:13,516
Do you think $25,000
is a lot of money?
736
00:39:15,618 --> 00:39:17,487
Yes.
737
00:39:17,487 --> 00:39:20,457
Yes. $25,000 is
an enormous
amount of money.
738
00:39:22,692 --> 00:39:24,994
It's not an enormous
amount, but...
739
00:39:27,097 --> 00:39:29,799
$50,000 is an enormous
amount of money.
740
00:39:32,836 --> 00:39:34,504
CAPTAIN: Now, folks,
you can't see it,
741
00:39:34,504 --> 00:39:35,805
but way over there
to the west
742
00:39:35,805 --> 00:39:37,540
is Roosevelt Hospital.
743
00:39:37,540 --> 00:39:38,808
That's where
my brother-in-law
744
00:39:38,808 --> 00:39:40,844
had his nasal
polyps removed.
745
00:39:40,844 --> 00:39:44,447
Now, Roosevelt Hospital
is okay in my book.
746
00:39:44,447 --> 00:39:46,383
And if the west side hospitals
747
00:39:46,383 --> 00:39:48,418
are not quite up to
the east side hospitals,
748
00:39:48,418 --> 00:39:50,120
they're still not as bad
749
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:52,389
as the hospitals
over in Jersey.
750
00:39:53,656 --> 00:39:55,625
I can't emphasize
strongly enough
that there'll be
751
00:39:55,625 --> 00:39:57,994
no emotional
involvement
whatsoever.
752
00:39:57,994 --> 00:39:59,763
Whoa!
753
00:40:00,730 --> 00:40:01,931
Gonna eat that?
754
00:40:01,931 --> 00:40:04,167
It's full
of preservatives.
755
00:40:04,167 --> 00:40:07,170
Do you know how many
preservatives are
in here? Huh?
756
00:40:07,170 --> 00:40:08,571
Put this on the railing.
757
00:40:08,571 --> 00:40:09,906
Come back 23 years
from now.
758
00:40:09,906 --> 00:40:12,976
That'll still be sitting
there, ready to eat.
759
00:40:12,976 --> 00:40:15,044
That's how many
preservatives are
in there.
760
00:40:15,044 --> 00:40:16,946
Do I have to live
with you?
761
00:40:19,482 --> 00:40:22,018
You don't have to
live in the same
bedroom or anything.
762
00:40:22,018 --> 00:40:24,053
I got a room.
763
00:40:24,053 --> 00:40:25,955
I've redone it
and everything.
764
00:40:30,827 --> 00:40:32,729
I don't anticipate
any real problem.
765
00:40:32,729 --> 00:40:34,197
It's a very simple contract.
766
00:40:34,197 --> 00:40:35,832
It's more of
a rider, really.
767
00:40:35,832 --> 00:40:37,500
I've laid it out.
768
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:38,701
When you talk to Maggie,
769
00:40:38,701 --> 00:40:40,437
I want you to
talk very slowly.
770
00:40:40,437 --> 00:40:41,905
She's naive
about contracts.
771
00:40:41,905 --> 00:40:43,640
I don't wanna be pushy
with her, all right?
772
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:44,707
Carlos!
Yo.
773
00:40:44,707 --> 00:40:46,142
I want the circus
in 11 hours!
774
00:40:46,142 --> 00:40:47,610
Evans, we can
do it in ten.
775
00:40:47,610 --> 00:40:48,711
You can do it in nine!
776
00:40:48,711 --> 00:40:50,180
Ah. Okay, you got it.
777
00:40:50,180 --> 00:40:51,815
BUDDY: Remember,
she's inexperienced,
778
00:40:51,815 --> 00:40:53,450
So don't be
too assertive.
779
00:40:53,450 --> 00:40:55,118
Good morning.
I just said that.
780
00:40:55,985 --> 00:40:57,754
Did you?
781
00:40:57,754 --> 00:40:59,022
(WHISPERS) Be serious.
782
00:40:59,022 --> 00:41:00,924
Don't smile
at them.
783
00:41:00,924 --> 00:41:02,592
Keep your hands
like this.
784
00:41:02,592 --> 00:41:04,093
No, don't keep them...
785
00:41:04,694 --> 00:41:06,162
Morning, Maggie.
786
00:41:06,162 --> 00:41:08,631
This is Ms. Kursahn,
my lawyer.
787
00:41:08,631 --> 00:41:10,099
Lawyer.
788
00:41:10,099 --> 00:41:12,135
You're six minutes
late, Mr. Evans.
789
00:41:12,135 --> 00:41:13,536
I trust
in the future
790
00:41:13,536 --> 00:41:15,605
you'll act in a more
professional manner.
791
00:41:16,573 --> 00:41:17,774
I'll try.
792
00:41:17,774 --> 00:41:20,543
We've prepared
a psychological
profile.
793
00:41:20,543 --> 00:41:22,579
A psychological
profile.
794
00:41:23,546 --> 00:41:24,948
Just certain questions
795
00:41:24,948 --> 00:41:27,617
for the purpose
of protecting
my client.
796
00:41:27,617 --> 00:41:29,486
Well, I have
nothing to hide.
797
00:41:30,153 --> 00:41:32,155
Any history of
homosexuality,
798
00:41:33,022 --> 00:41:35,725
sado-masochism,
necrophilia?
799
00:41:35,725 --> 00:41:37,760
Any history of insanity
in your family?
800
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,229
Of course not.
801
00:41:42,999 --> 00:41:44,801
Why are you asking
these questions?
802
00:41:44,801 --> 00:41:46,135
You asked me.
803
00:41:46,135 --> 00:41:47,537
I didn't know you.
804
00:41:47,537 --> 00:41:48,972
Well, I don't
know you either.
805
00:41:48,972 --> 00:41:50,974
I have an office.
I have a secretary.
806
00:41:50,974 --> 00:41:54,110
I'm sure lots of
necrophiliacs have
secretaries.
807
00:41:54,110 --> 00:41:55,712
That's true.
808
00:41:56,746 --> 00:41:59,048
Now, we would like
to determine
809
00:41:59,048 --> 00:42:01,117
the number of
impregnation attempts
810
00:42:01,117 --> 00:42:03,119
before charging
additionally.
811
00:42:03,119 --> 00:42:04,287
Charged for what?
812
00:42:04,287 --> 00:42:05,955
In case you fail.
813
00:42:07,190 --> 00:42:08,258
Fail? (CHUCKLES)
814
00:42:08,258 --> 00:42:09,759
In case I fail.
815
00:42:09,759 --> 00:42:10,927
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
816
00:42:10,927 --> 00:42:13,029
Well, there are
certain possibilities.
817
00:42:13,029 --> 00:42:14,597
Such as?
818
00:42:14,597 --> 00:42:16,065
Um...
Sterility.
819
00:42:16,065 --> 00:42:17,700
Premature ejaculation.
820
00:42:17,700 --> 00:42:18,768
Uh, impotence.
821
00:42:21,738 --> 00:42:22,972
Oh.
822
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:25,642
MAGGIE: Over the course
of history,
823
00:42:25,642 --> 00:42:27,277
it has been known
to happen, Mr. Evans.
824
00:42:27,277 --> 00:42:29,546
Not over the course
of my history.
825
00:42:30,079 --> 00:42:31,247
May we continue?
826
00:42:31,247 --> 00:42:34,250
they're gonna be asking me
to take my pants down.
827
00:42:34,250 --> 00:42:36,686
Oh. Not yet.
828
00:42:36,686 --> 00:42:38,955
I think it's good
to get these things
out in the open.
829
00:42:42,559 --> 00:42:44,727
This stuff is
fascinating.
830
00:42:44,727 --> 00:42:46,162
"In some countries,
831
00:42:46,162 --> 00:42:47,597
"its still
widely believed
832
00:42:47,597 --> 00:42:49,599
"that a bath
in baking-soda,
833
00:42:49,599 --> 00:42:51,668
"prior to the act
of lovemaking,
834
00:42:51,668 --> 00:42:53,970
"will promote the birth
of a male offspring."
835
00:42:53,970 --> 00:42:55,705
Did you know that?
836
00:42:55,705 --> 00:42:57,740
What are you doing
to these plants?
837
00:42:57,740 --> 00:42:58,841
This is incredible.
838
00:42:58,841 --> 00:43:00,343
"If you want to
assure a male child,
839
00:43:00,343 --> 00:43:02,111
"you make love
standing up."
840
00:43:02,111 --> 00:43:04,781
What's all
the carrying on about?
841
00:43:04,781 --> 00:43:06,749
Why don't you just
jump in the sack
842
00:43:06,749 --> 00:43:08,751
and make yourselves
a baby?
843
00:43:08,751 --> 00:43:10,620
Jump in the sack?
844
00:43:10,620 --> 00:43:12,822
We're talking about
creating a baby here,
845
00:43:12,822 --> 00:43:15,124
not just jumping
in the sack as you
so elegantly put it.
846
00:43:15,124 --> 00:43:17,026
This is
a scientific venture.
847
00:43:17,026 --> 00:43:19,362
Scientific venture?
848
00:43:19,362 --> 00:43:22,599
Boy, you sure are
a cold fish.
849
00:43:22,599 --> 00:43:23,733
Don't you call me that.
850
00:43:23,733 --> 00:43:25,668
Come in here.
I wanna show you
something.
851
00:43:25,668 --> 00:43:29,105
Did you know that,
"Wearing of loose
underwear
852
00:43:29,105 --> 00:43:31,007
"increases the chances
of conception?"
853
00:43:31,007 --> 00:43:33,209
So does the wearing
of no underwear.
854
00:43:33,209 --> 00:43:35,878
BUDDY: Also,
"The pain of
childbirth
855
00:43:35,878 --> 00:43:38,281
"is no longer
a medical matter.
856
00:43:38,281 --> 00:43:39,983
"It's a scientific fact."
857
00:43:39,983 --> 00:43:41,317
You see,
858
00:43:41,317 --> 00:43:44,087
you can't even
get your guppies
to fool around.
859
00:43:44,087 --> 00:43:46,689
They're young.
Give them a chance.
860
00:43:46,689 --> 00:43:48,224
Are you changing
my tie again?
861
00:43:48,224 --> 00:43:50,093
Yes.
862
00:43:50,093 --> 00:43:52,195
This is fascinating
reading. Hear this.
863
00:43:52,195 --> 00:43:53,396
If you wanna be positive
864
00:43:53,396 --> 00:43:55,098
that you're gonna
have a male child,
865
00:43:55,098 --> 00:43:56,966
you have to make love
standing up.
866
00:43:57,700 --> 00:43:58,901
Oh, really?
Yeah.
867
00:43:58,901 --> 00:44:00,703
You wanna know
the reason why?
No.
868
00:44:00,703 --> 00:44:01,804
I'll tell you
the reason.
869
00:44:01,804 --> 00:44:05,308
"the sperm carrying
the male sex factor
870
00:44:05,308 --> 00:44:06,809
"is stronger at first
871
00:44:06,809 --> 00:44:09,646
"than the sperm carrying
the female sex factor."
872
00:44:09,646 --> 00:44:11,748
The only factor
I know about
873
00:44:11,748 --> 00:44:13,750
is when you
hold a baby up
874
00:44:13,750 --> 00:44:15,385
and there's a factor
hanging down,
875
00:44:15,385 --> 00:44:16,753
it's a boy.
876
00:44:16,753 --> 00:44:18,955
If there isn't,
it's a girl.
877
00:44:18,955 --> 00:44:20,223
Cute.
878
00:44:20,223 --> 00:44:21,991
"It's a scientific fact
879
00:44:21,991 --> 00:44:24,127
"that the male sperm
swims faster
880
00:44:24,127 --> 00:44:25,762
"than the female sperm."
881
00:44:25,762 --> 00:44:26,963
Oh?
Mmm-hmm.
882
00:44:26,963 --> 00:44:28,031
What do they do,
883
00:44:28,831 --> 00:44:31,200
have a race?
(LAUGHING)
884
00:44:35,038 --> 00:44:36,372
Hello, babies!
885
00:44:37,674 --> 00:44:39,275
Hello, my little babies.
886
00:44:40,109 --> 00:44:41,678
Hello, my little...
887
00:44:49,285 --> 00:44:50,753
Baby?
888
00:44:52,455 --> 00:44:54,390
(TRUMPET PLAYING POORLY)
889
00:45:10,039 --> 00:45:11,274
I never knew anybody
890
00:45:11,274 --> 00:45:13,776
who got pregnant
on purpose before.
891
00:45:13,776 --> 00:45:15,411
You think I'm crazy,
don't you?
892
00:45:15,411 --> 00:45:17,714
No. It's a lot of money.
893
00:45:17,714 --> 00:45:20,016
I can't tell whether
I'm undecided or not.
894
00:45:20,016 --> 00:45:21,951
The deadline's
next week.
895
00:45:21,951 --> 00:45:23,219
(TRUMPET CONTINUES PLAYING)
896
00:45:25,254 --> 00:45:27,323
I mean, I guess
it's no big deal.
897
00:45:30,226 --> 00:45:33,296
He's got a lawyer
and a contract
and everything.
898
00:45:33,296 --> 00:45:35,164
We won't get all
hot and heavy.
899
00:45:38,835 --> 00:45:41,337
And, it's gonna be
900
00:45:41,337 --> 00:45:43,506
totally unemotional.
901
00:45:45,374 --> 00:45:46,809
The last thing
I need right now
902
00:45:46,809 --> 00:45:48,244
is to get involved
with some guy.
903
00:45:48,244 --> 00:45:50,913
(LAUGHS) It's
the last thing I need.
904
00:45:51,414 --> 00:45:52,949
(ELECTRONIC SOUND)
905
00:45:52,949 --> 00:45:54,117
MAGGIE: What is that?
906
00:45:54,117 --> 00:45:55,485
BUDDY: It's the sounds
of nature
907
00:45:55,485 --> 00:45:57,820
during the time
of conception.
908
00:45:57,820 --> 00:45:59,956
It makes all
the difference
in the world.
909
00:45:59,956 --> 00:46:01,357
MAGGIE: You're kidding?
910
00:46:01,357 --> 00:46:04,293
BUDDY: It's the sound
of the blue whale
in love.
911
00:46:04,293 --> 00:46:06,129
My favorite.
912
00:46:06,129 --> 00:46:07,997
Listen. I wanna
make something
913
00:46:07,997 --> 00:46:10,199
very clear to you.
914
00:46:10,199 --> 00:46:12,335
This is a business
transaction.
915
00:46:12,335 --> 00:46:13,402
(WHALE MOANING)
916
00:46:13,402 --> 00:46:15,538
Nothing emotional
involved.
917
00:46:17,140 --> 00:46:18,775
Check.
918
00:46:21,811 --> 00:46:23,112
Mmm.
(LAUGHS)
919
00:46:23,112 --> 00:46:24,514
It's freezing.
920
00:46:25,348 --> 00:46:27,016
It's the mirror.
921
00:46:27,016 --> 00:46:28,217
They're made that way.
922
00:46:30,553 --> 00:46:31,888
Are you ready?
923
00:46:31,888 --> 00:46:33,022
Check.
924
00:46:33,022 --> 00:46:34,457
Stop saying check!
925
00:46:38,060 --> 00:46:39,128
Oh...
926
00:46:39,962 --> 00:46:42,098
It's just lying there.
927
00:46:42,832 --> 00:46:44,233
Well, give me a minute.
928
00:46:45,101 --> 00:46:47,136
I think it's dead.
929
00:46:47,136 --> 00:46:49,272
Well, I know it's
not dancing, but...
930
00:46:49,972 --> 00:46:51,474
I know it's not dead.
931
00:46:51,474 --> 00:46:54,310
Oh, no. Your fish...
932
00:46:55,044 --> 00:46:56,145
My fish?
933
00:46:56,145 --> 00:46:58,047
No. Your fish
in the tank.
934
00:46:58,047 --> 00:47:00,817
I think that
fish is dead.
935
00:47:00,817 --> 00:47:02,819
Oh, my God,
it's my koi.
936
00:47:03,886 --> 00:47:06,489
I brought him over
from Hawaii.
937
00:47:06,489 --> 00:47:09,992
He'd had to be over
100 years old.
938
00:47:09,992 --> 00:47:11,961
I mean, they're supposed
to be good luck!
939
00:47:11,961 --> 00:47:14,063
Do you ever go to Hawaii,
and stay at the Hilton?
940
00:47:14,063 --> 00:47:15,331
Mr. Evans,
941
00:47:15,331 --> 00:47:17,900
why don't we just
get this over with?
942
00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:20,336
Well, let's try to
concentrate on what
we're doing, all right?
943
00:47:21,938 --> 00:47:24,407
Now, you know why
the two of us are here.
944
00:47:24,407 --> 00:47:26,042
(WHALES MOANING)
945
00:47:26,042 --> 00:47:27,844
You see,
the problem is...
946
00:47:28,945 --> 00:47:30,847
It's not clinical enough.
947
00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:35,952
The problem is,
it's too clinical.
948
00:47:39,488 --> 00:47:41,390
Do you have
any fantasies?
949
00:47:41,390 --> 00:47:43,993
I don't need
fantasies.
950
00:47:43,993 --> 00:47:45,995
Everybody has
some fantasies.
951
00:47:45,995 --> 00:47:47,363
Oh, I have some.
952
00:47:49,432 --> 00:47:50,566
Like what?
953
00:47:50,566 --> 00:47:52,101
I'm not gonna tell you.
954
00:47:52,101 --> 00:47:54,971
then they're stories,
they're not fantasies.
955
00:47:54,971 --> 00:47:56,639
I keep to myself.
They're my fantasies.
956
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:58,875
I have one.
957
00:47:58,875 --> 00:48:00,243
I don't want
to hear about it.
958
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,382
I'm sitting
all alone in a bar...
959
00:48:09,285 --> 00:48:11,487
Smoke-filled
atmosphere...
960
00:48:13,456 --> 00:48:14,523
Suddenly,
961
00:48:15,191 --> 00:48:17,093
across the room,
962
00:48:17,093 --> 00:48:18,527
the most...
963
00:48:18,527 --> 00:48:19,962
Attractive,
964
00:48:19,962 --> 00:48:22,098
sultry,
965
00:48:22,098 --> 00:48:24,200
sexy woman
I've ever seen.
966
00:48:26,168 --> 00:48:27,603
Well...
967
00:48:29,338 --> 00:48:30,673
I walk in...
968
00:48:32,074 --> 00:48:34,543
Someplace classy,
969
00:48:34,543 --> 00:48:38,114
like the oak room
in the Plaza Hotel.
970
00:48:38,915 --> 00:48:40,149
I walk towards her.
971
00:48:42,985 --> 00:48:45,321
I notice that she has
a beauty mark.
972
00:48:45,321 --> 00:48:47,089
Oh, right there.
973
00:48:47,556 --> 00:48:49,025
I say...
974
00:48:51,294 --> 00:48:52,995
"Can I buy you
a drink?"
975
00:48:54,196 --> 00:48:55,498
She says,
976
00:48:56,332 --> 00:48:57,400
"No.
977
00:48:58,534 --> 00:49:00,403
"A drink is not
what I want."
978
00:49:00,403 --> 00:49:02,071
I say, "What do
you want?"
979
00:49:02,071 --> 00:49:03,272
She says,
980
00:49:03,272 --> 00:49:04,340
"You...
981
00:49:06,042 --> 00:49:07,209
"Now."
982
00:49:09,378 --> 00:49:10,713
Then she gets up
983
00:49:12,181 --> 00:49:13,349
and goes.
984
00:49:15,451 --> 00:49:16,619
Where are
you going?
985
00:49:17,687 --> 00:49:19,956
Meet me at the Plaza
in one hour.
986
00:49:19,956 --> 00:49:21,057
Where?
987
00:49:21,057 --> 00:49:23,125
The oak bar,
one hour.
988
00:49:38,174 --> 00:49:39,542
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
989
00:49:42,478 --> 00:49:43,980
Well, let's try.
990
00:49:43,980 --> 00:49:45,481
You're really
going to do it?
991
00:49:45,481 --> 00:49:46,549
Yeah.
992
00:49:46,549 --> 00:49:48,617
I know how it's
done in New York.
993
00:49:55,725 --> 00:49:57,526
You gonna do it?
994
00:49:58,361 --> 00:49:59,996
Hi, pretty lady.
995
00:49:59,996 --> 00:50:02,365
That's a lovely
fragrance you're
wearing, darling.
996
00:50:02,365 --> 00:50:03,666
What's it called?
997
00:50:03,666 --> 00:50:05,167
Estrogen.
998
00:50:05,167 --> 00:50:06,469
Oh, French, huh?
999
00:50:06,469 --> 00:50:08,070
I don't
speak English.
1000
00:50:08,070 --> 00:50:09,271
(ALL LAUGHING)
1001
00:50:17,146 --> 00:50:18,214
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1002
00:50:29,792 --> 00:50:31,093
Psst!
1003
00:50:45,508 --> 00:50:47,777
You're supposed to say,
"Would you like a drink?"
1004
00:50:53,416 --> 00:50:54,617
Would you
like a drink?
1005
00:50:54,617 --> 00:50:55,718
No.
1006
00:50:57,086 --> 00:50:59,422
A drink is not
what I want.
1007
00:51:05,428 --> 00:51:07,463
What is that,
a mole?
1008
00:51:07,463 --> 00:51:08,831
A beauty mark.
1009
00:51:08,831 --> 00:51:10,399
I like that.
1010
00:51:16,505 --> 00:51:17,706
What do you want?
1011
00:51:18,474 --> 00:51:20,176
I want you...
1012
00:51:20,643 --> 00:51:22,078
Now.
1013
00:51:31,454 --> 00:51:32,721
Like to make
a baby?
1014
00:51:39,261 --> 00:51:40,763
The room number's
on the key.
1015
00:51:45,468 --> 00:51:47,103
The room number's
on the key.
1016
00:52:58,841 --> 00:53:00,276
You wanna tell him
or should I?
1017
00:53:00,276 --> 00:53:02,411
I guess I should.
1018
00:53:02,411 --> 00:53:04,880
He'll be
very touched.
I hope so.
1019
00:53:06,715 --> 00:53:08,517
You know, Maggie,
1020
00:53:08,517 --> 00:53:10,486
pregnancy changes
things in a woman.
1021
00:53:10,486 --> 00:53:12,354
I'm not just talking
about physically.
1022
00:53:13,255 --> 00:53:14,823
What...
What do you mean?
1023
00:53:14,823 --> 00:53:17,626
I want you
to feel free
1024
00:53:17,626 --> 00:53:20,496
I want you to feel free
to come in here anytime
you want
1025
00:53:20,496 --> 00:53:21,564
and talk to me.
1026
00:53:21,564 --> 00:53:22,965
Oh, great. Sure.
1027
00:53:22,965 --> 00:53:25,568
I like you. I don't
want you to think
of me as
1028
00:53:25,568 --> 00:53:26,635
the other side.
1029
00:53:26,635 --> 00:53:27,970
(LAUGHS) Thanks, Larry.
1030
00:53:29,672 --> 00:53:30,806
Any news yet?
1031
00:53:30,806 --> 00:53:31,941
I've been waiting
an hour.
1032
00:53:31,941 --> 00:53:33,442
Excuse me.
She's been waiting
an hour.
1033
00:53:33,442 --> 00:53:34,543
Hi, Buddy.
1034
00:53:34,543 --> 00:53:35,844
Oh, hi.
Arlene.
1035
00:53:35,844 --> 00:53:37,446
Arlene. Right.
1036
00:53:37,446 --> 00:53:39,815
It's nice
to see you.
You, too.
1037
00:53:39,815 --> 00:53:41,550
Do you still do
the moose routine?
1038
00:53:42,318 --> 00:53:44,353
Mr. Evans...
Hmm?
1039
00:53:45,554 --> 00:53:46,956
It worked, didn't it?
1040
00:53:46,956 --> 00:53:48,591
Tell me it worked!
Tell me it worked!
1041
00:53:48,591 --> 00:53:49,825
What do you mean,
it worked?
1042
00:53:49,825 --> 00:53:51,994
Look at that
rosy cheek,
1043
00:53:51,994 --> 00:53:53,996
look at that glow
in your face.
1044
00:53:53,996 --> 00:53:55,431
It worked, huh?
1045
00:53:55,965 --> 00:53:57,533
Tell me it worked.
1046
00:53:58,300 --> 00:53:59,468
Maggie's pregnant.
1047
00:53:59,468 --> 00:54:01,303
Hot damn!
The rabbit died!
I knew it!
1048
00:54:01,303 --> 00:54:02,705
I knew it!
The rabbit died!
1049
00:54:04,006 --> 00:54:05,574
Good work, Larry.
1050
00:54:11,814 --> 00:54:12,881
(DOOR CLOSES)
1051
00:54:17,519 --> 00:54:18,921
"Erasmus."
1052
00:54:18,921 --> 00:54:20,789
I wonder what
that means.
1053
00:54:20,789 --> 00:54:22,958
It means your son
won't have any
friends.
1054
00:54:22,958 --> 00:54:24,593
That's what that means.
1055
00:54:25,461 --> 00:54:26,695
Who asked you?
1056
00:54:28,464 --> 00:54:29,698
"Salisbury."
1057
00:54:29,698 --> 00:54:30,766
Sounds like a steak.
1058
00:54:30,766 --> 00:54:33,402
Don't say that word.
1059
00:54:33,402 --> 00:54:36,038
You know that means?
It means, "From
the guarded palace."
1060
00:54:39,008 --> 00:54:40,309
No, no, no.
1061
00:54:40,309 --> 00:54:42,611
Just a little piece.
Come on!
1062
00:54:42,611 --> 00:54:44,913
You've had your
high-protein group
for the day.
1063
00:54:44,913 --> 00:54:46,582
What?
What?
1064
00:54:46,982 --> 00:54:48,484
A hard-boiled egg.
1065
00:54:49,918 --> 00:54:51,353
One egg?
1066
00:54:52,688 --> 00:54:54,556
You call
that a group?
1067
00:54:54,556 --> 00:54:55,791
It's part of the deal.
1068
00:54:57,459 --> 00:54:58,994
I'm wasting away.
1069
00:54:58,994 --> 00:55:00,963
I smell gas!
1070
00:55:00,963 --> 00:55:03,065
Oh! What's
happening here?
1071
00:55:03,866 --> 00:55:06,302
Oh! Oh,
I smell gas!
1072
00:55:06,302 --> 00:55:07,503
You don't
smell gas.
1073
00:55:07,503 --> 00:55:08,804
We have an
electric range.
1074
00:55:08,804 --> 00:55:10,406
We have
an electric oven.
1075
00:55:10,406 --> 00:55:13,042
So... I don't
smell gas.
1076
00:55:21,550 --> 00:55:25,487
I'm cutting up your steak
for you into little pieces.
1077
00:55:25,487 --> 00:55:27,523
I thought you'd
like it that way.
1078
00:55:28,724 --> 00:55:30,526
That's how
I would like it,
1079
00:55:30,526 --> 00:55:31,827
But I don't want it.
1080
00:55:35,698 --> 00:55:37,666
BUDDY: Dr. Carlucci says
1081
00:55:37,666 --> 00:55:39,735
up until
the fourth month,
1082
00:55:39,735 --> 00:55:41,603
running is good
for the fetus.
1083
00:55:42,905 --> 00:55:44,940
Fetal osmosis
is the theory,
1084
00:55:44,940 --> 00:55:47,443
that every experiences
encountered by the mother
1085
00:55:47,443 --> 00:55:50,813
is directly or indirectly
transmitted to the fetus.
1086
00:55:51,547 --> 00:55:55,984
You'll have the only
baby ever born
with shin splints.
1087
00:55:55,984 --> 00:55:57,052
(HUMMING)
1088
00:55:59,421 --> 00:56:00,489
Here.
1089
00:56:01,657 --> 00:56:03,125
It's good for you.
1090
00:56:07,062 --> 00:56:09,098
BUDDY: Have you had
anything from the bread
group today?
1091
00:56:09,098 --> 00:56:10,933
Yes!
What?
1092
00:56:10,933 --> 00:56:12,134
Bread.
1093
00:56:20,376 --> 00:56:21,877
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Est-ce que vous
etes musicien?
1094
00:56:21,877 --> 00:56:23,879
Oui, je suis musicien.
1095
00:56:23,879 --> 00:56:25,748
Musicienne? Mus...
1096
00:56:25,748 --> 00:56:27,449
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1097
00:56:27,449 --> 00:56:28,617
Entrez.
1098
00:56:28,617 --> 00:56:30,619
BUDDY: What?
Come in.
1099
00:56:31,820 --> 00:56:33,122
Hi. I brought...
1100
00:56:34,990 --> 00:56:37,459
Oh.
1101
00:56:37,459 --> 00:56:38,994
Oh, your plants
are doing great,
aren't they?
1102
00:56:38,994 --> 00:56:40,496
Oh, thanks.
1103
00:56:41,697 --> 00:56:43,132
I give mine vitamins...
1104
00:56:45,534 --> 00:56:46,935
And plant food.
1105
00:56:48,704 --> 00:56:50,406
Every day.
1106
00:56:50,406 --> 00:56:52,708
From Central America.
1107
00:56:52,708 --> 00:56:54,710
Sometimes I think
it's better just
to water them
1108
00:56:54,710 --> 00:56:55,978
and leave them alone.
1109
00:56:57,446 --> 00:56:58,680
Yeah.
1110
00:57:02,684 --> 00:57:04,119
Four times a day.
1111
00:57:07,122 --> 00:57:09,024
This is probably
a better room
for plants.
1112
00:57:32,214 --> 00:57:34,516
MAN: Is this gonna be
a problem for lighting?
1113
00:57:34,516 --> 00:57:36,718
MAN 2: No, angle it
a little more.
1114
00:57:36,718 --> 00:57:38,120
But is it clear?
1115
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,822
Yeah.
Okay.
1116
00:57:39,822 --> 00:57:40,956
Coming through.
1117
00:57:40,956 --> 00:57:42,491
Now string them up.
1118
00:57:42,991 --> 00:57:44,560
Lower. Slowly.
1119
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:45,894
How much longer, Derek?
1120
00:57:45,894 --> 00:57:48,130
Oh, about a half
hour, Chief.
Yeah.
1121
00:57:48,130 --> 00:57:50,599
What'll I do
with number three?
1122
00:57:50,599 --> 00:57:52,134
Square that off.
You're not square.
1123
00:57:52,134 --> 00:57:53,836
You're five, ten
degrees off.
1124
00:57:55,904 --> 00:57:57,773
Tighter.
Make it tighter.
1125
00:57:58,607 --> 00:58:00,542
Who do you like
tonight?
1126
00:58:00,542 --> 00:58:03,011
Martinez is going to whip
that Cuban's butt.
1127
00:58:03,011 --> 00:58:05,113
Probably.
1128
00:58:05,113 --> 00:58:07,249
MAN: Hold. Hold it.
That's fine.
1129
00:58:07,249 --> 00:58:09,084
Wait, let me check
the sight line there.
1130
00:58:09,084 --> 00:58:11,153
Bill! Bill!
1131
00:58:11,153 --> 00:58:13,755
BILL: Yeah?
How are we
in the back?
1132
00:58:14,857 --> 00:58:16,258
BILL: Drop it
a little more.
1133
00:58:16,258 --> 00:58:17,893
Drop it.
1134
00:58:19,862 --> 00:58:21,597
Hold it.
That's it.
1135
00:58:21,597 --> 00:58:24,233
Move that
one over. Okay.
1136
00:58:26,101 --> 00:58:28,170
Is this going to be
a problem for lighting?
1137
00:58:34,710 --> 00:58:35,878
Sophia.
1138
00:58:35,878 --> 00:58:37,179
Hi, Buddy.
1139
00:58:38,680 --> 00:58:40,015
What you been doing?
1140
00:58:42,150 --> 00:58:43,552
Well, uh...
1141
00:58:44,586 --> 00:58:45,754
I got married.
1142
00:58:47,122 --> 00:58:48,657
That's good.
1143
00:58:48,657 --> 00:58:50,292
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1144
00:58:50,292 --> 00:58:51,660
No, that's bad,
1145
00:58:52,127 --> 00:58:53,762
'cause I got divorced.
1146
00:58:53,762 --> 00:58:55,998
Oh, that's bad.
1147
00:58:57,533 --> 00:58:58,867
Maybe that's good.
1148
00:58:59,535 --> 00:59:00,903
I got happy.
1149
00:59:01,803 --> 00:59:03,272
(LAUGHS)
Mmm.
1150
00:59:03,272 --> 00:59:06,608
And as many of you ladies
will soon find out,
1151
00:59:06,608 --> 00:59:09,044
your abdominal cavity
will expand
1152
00:59:09,044 --> 00:59:11,046
to make room for
the swelling uterus.
1153
00:59:11,046 --> 00:59:12,781
Does anybody have
a little boy doll?
1154
00:59:12,781 --> 00:59:14,182
I think I should have
a little boy.
1155
00:59:14,182 --> 00:59:16,618
Maggie,
it's only a doll.
1156
00:59:17,586 --> 00:59:18,820
It's not forever.
1157
00:59:19,821 --> 00:59:22,190
Oh.
As I was saying,
1158
00:59:22,190 --> 00:59:25,727
this expanding skin may
mean for many of you
1159
00:59:25,727 --> 00:59:27,296
the dreaded
stretch marks.
1160
00:59:27,296 --> 00:59:28,764
Oh!
Oh!
1161
00:59:28,764 --> 00:59:30,098
No!
Yuck.
1162
00:59:30,098 --> 00:59:31,166
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
1163
00:59:31,166 --> 00:59:33,602
Now, these may not
be inevitable.
1164
00:59:33,602 --> 00:59:35,037
A lot of couples
have found
1165
00:59:35,037 --> 00:59:37,205
that a nightly
application of, say,
1166
00:59:37,205 --> 00:59:38,840
cocoa butter
1167
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:40,709
can help avoid
the stretch marks
1168
00:59:40,709 --> 00:59:42,177
and as a shared pastime,
1169
00:59:42,177 --> 00:59:44,746
can be very,
uh, pleasant.
1170
00:59:44,746 --> 00:59:45,814
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
1171
00:59:47,716 --> 00:59:49,017
Hello, Buddy!
1172
00:59:49,017 --> 00:59:52,187
I just bought these
great maternity dresses!
1173
00:59:52,187 --> 00:59:54,122
I think they're
really beautiful.
1174
00:59:54,122 --> 00:59:56,191
And I think I can
take them in
1175
00:59:56,191 --> 00:59:58,193
after the big event.
1176
00:59:58,193 --> 01:00:00,095
Buddy!
1177
01:00:00,095 --> 01:00:02,264
Buddy! Buddy, you've
got to see them.
1178
01:00:05,300 --> 01:00:08,604
BUDDY: No. There! No...
A little higher.
1179
01:00:08,604 --> 01:00:10,606
SOPHIA: I thought I
remembered that spot.
1180
01:00:10,606 --> 01:00:12,975
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1181
01:00:12,975 --> 01:00:14,910
SOPHIA: Gotcha!
BUDDY: You got it?
1182
01:00:17,045 --> 01:00:18,780
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
1183
01:00:28,190 --> 01:00:29,358
(WHALE SOUNDS)
1184
01:00:33,695 --> 01:00:34,796
What's going on?
1185
01:00:35,697 --> 01:00:37,099
They're playing
our song.
1186
01:00:44,139 --> 01:00:45,807
Buddy, do you
have a cat?
1187
01:00:45,807 --> 01:00:47,309
A whale.
1188
01:00:47,309 --> 01:00:48,877
A big one.
1189
01:00:48,877 --> 01:00:50,412
(MIMICS SOUND)
(LAUGHING)
1190
01:00:53,181 --> 01:00:54,916
(CHEERING)
1191
01:00:58,253 --> 01:00:59,988
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
1192
01:01:06,395 --> 01:01:07,663
Whoo!
1193
01:01:07,663 --> 01:01:09,131
Here we go!
Here we go!
1194
01:01:09,131 --> 01:01:11,166
(WHISTLES) Okay, Jerry,
hit it out of here!
1195
01:01:11,166 --> 01:01:12,934
Hit it out
of here, Jerry!
1196
01:01:14,202 --> 01:01:16,271
Here you go, Jere!
1197
01:01:16,271 --> 01:01:18,440
Who's up next?
You are, big guy.
1198
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,109
Ha! They're gonna name
a candy bar after me.
1199
01:01:21,109 --> 01:01:22,711
There you go, Jerry,
all the way!
1200
01:01:22,711 --> 01:01:25,047
(WHISTLES)
She's a remarkable
young lady.
1201
01:01:25,047 --> 01:01:26,448
Hit it out of here,
Jerry! Hit it out of here!
1202
01:01:26,448 --> 01:01:28,050
Come on, Jere!
1203
01:01:28,050 --> 01:01:29,785
There's something
really special about...
1204
01:01:29,785 --> 01:01:31,186
MAN: Ball two!
1205
01:01:31,186 --> 01:01:32,688
Hit it out of there, Jerry!
1206
01:01:32,688 --> 01:01:34,790
You need a pregnant lady
in there.
1207
01:01:35,757 --> 01:01:37,259
Here we go, Jerry,
all the way!
1208
01:01:37,259 --> 01:01:38,427
All right, Jere!
1209
01:01:38,427 --> 01:01:39,861
Hit it all the way
to Queens.
1210
01:01:39,861 --> 01:01:43,432
of the emotions
that enter into
a situation like this.
1211
01:01:43,432 --> 01:01:44,833
I understand.
I understand.
1212
01:01:44,833 --> 01:01:46,201
We got two guys on,
1213
01:01:46,201 --> 01:01:47,903
it's the bottom
of the ninth,
one out.
1214
01:01:47,903 --> 01:01:50,005
There you go, Jerry,
all the way!
1215
01:01:50,005 --> 01:01:51,073
I'm puttin' her in.
1216
01:01:51,073 --> 01:01:52,207
Who?
Maggie.
1217
01:01:52,207 --> 01:01:53,308
For who?
1218
01:01:53,308 --> 01:01:55,210
For you.
For me?
1219
01:01:55,210 --> 01:01:57,312
But it's the bottom
of then ninth.
It's my turn.
1220
01:01:57,312 --> 01:01:59,314
You're oh-for-four.
I'm due.
1221
01:01:59,314 --> 01:02:00,882
Give her a chance.
Everybody wants
her to play.
1222
01:02:01,717 --> 01:02:02,951
Come on, Mario.
I'm due.
1223
01:02:02,951 --> 01:02:05,020
All for four.
It's my turn!
1224
01:02:05,020 --> 01:02:07,089
Right. This is it.
You can do it.
1225
01:02:07,089 --> 01:02:08,323
Get out there!
1226
01:02:08,323 --> 01:02:10,392
(CHEERING)
1227
01:02:12,060 --> 01:02:13,295
It's my turn!
1228
01:02:18,834 --> 01:02:20,969
Have a little respect!
It's a mother, here!
1229
01:02:20,969 --> 01:02:22,771
You can
do it, baby!
1230
01:02:24,940 --> 01:02:26,475
Get your arms up.
1231
01:02:29,878 --> 01:02:31,513
Up a little more.
1232
01:02:31,513 --> 01:02:33,181
My arms are up.
1233
01:02:33,181 --> 01:02:34,249
Strike!
1234
01:02:35,484 --> 01:02:37,319
Put your body
into it.
1235
01:02:37,319 --> 01:02:39,187
My body's into it.
1236
01:02:39,988 --> 01:02:41,056
Your whole body.
1237
01:02:41,056 --> 01:02:42,357
My body's into it!
1238
01:02:42,357 --> 01:02:44,359
Not my whole body.
1239
01:02:44,359 --> 01:02:46,495
Stop twisting
around like that.
1240
01:02:46,495 --> 01:02:48,864
Ready? It's zen.
1241
01:02:51,299 --> 01:02:52,968
You're throwing
too hard!
1242
01:02:55,170 --> 01:02:56,538
Have a little
patience.
1243
01:02:56,538 --> 01:02:58,206
It's nothing.
It's just a ball game.
1244
01:03:15,557 --> 01:03:17,793
Hold up on first!
1245
01:03:17,793 --> 01:03:18,927
Hold up!
1246
01:03:22,063 --> 01:03:23,131
Hold up!
You got a triple!
1247
01:03:23,131 --> 01:03:24,566
Hold up! Hold up!
1248
01:03:26,334 --> 01:03:27,402
Safe!
1249
01:03:28,069 --> 01:03:29,171
Let's go!
1250
01:03:43,451 --> 01:03:44,886
Well, how'd I do?
1251
01:03:46,221 --> 01:03:47,455
You're getting
the hang of it.
1252
01:03:51,026 --> 01:03:53,228
Give me
that candy bar!
1253
01:03:53,228 --> 01:03:54,429
Are you crazy?
1254
01:03:55,530 --> 01:03:57,299
I can't stand
this anymore.
1255
01:03:57,299 --> 01:03:58,500
Can't stand what?
1256
01:03:58,500 --> 01:04:01,336
Everything.
The exercises, diets,
1257
01:04:01,336 --> 01:04:04,005
the noise you have
piped into my room.
1258
01:04:04,005 --> 01:04:05,507
What noise?
That's the ocean.
1259
01:04:05,507 --> 01:04:07,175
I don't want
the ocean
in my room.
1260
01:04:08,176 --> 01:04:10,979
It's called
fetal relaxation.
1261
01:04:10,979 --> 01:04:14,983
Dr. Krasner says it's
essential for having a baby.
1262
01:04:14,983 --> 01:04:16,852
Have the baby
with Dr. Krasner.
1263
01:04:16,852 --> 01:04:18,854
I can't.
He's dead.
1264
01:04:20,355 --> 01:04:23,425
You're going against
the spirit of the contract.
1265
01:04:24,392 --> 01:04:27,462
You're starving me
to death.
1266
01:04:27,462 --> 01:04:29,164
I think we're
acting ridiculous.
1267
01:04:31,199 --> 01:04:33,034
I'm sorry I yelled
at you at the game.
1268
01:04:34,035 --> 01:04:36,304
I won't ever yell
at you again, okay?
1269
01:04:37,305 --> 01:04:38,506
Want a nice falafel?
1270
01:04:38,506 --> 01:04:41,176
Yeah. Two, please.
1271
01:04:41,176 --> 01:04:42,244
Don't get one.
1272
01:04:42,244 --> 01:04:43,478
Please.
No.
1273
01:04:43,478 --> 01:04:45,447
I'll give you
each two falafel.
1274
01:04:45,447 --> 01:04:47,582
Everybody will be happy.
This one's for you.
1275
01:04:47,582 --> 01:04:49,217
I'll get your
license revoked.
1276
01:04:49,217 --> 01:04:50,518
I don't have a license.
No license.
1277
01:04:50,518 --> 01:04:55,023
This stems from the need
to rebel against authority.
1278
01:04:55,023 --> 01:04:56,524
Very common.
1279
01:04:56,524 --> 01:04:57,659
Are you
a falafel
therapist?
1280
01:04:57,659 --> 01:04:58,927
He's right.
1281
01:04:59,361 --> 01:05:00,996
Thank you very much.
1282
01:05:00,996 --> 01:05:02,497
I feel smothered.
1283
01:05:05,033 --> 01:05:06,401
Is there someone else
in your life?
1284
01:05:07,936 --> 01:05:10,338
There's no one else
in my life.
1285
01:05:10,338 --> 01:05:12,073
There's not even me
in my life.
1286
01:05:13,174 --> 01:05:14,910
You have a lot
to learn about women.
1287
01:05:14,910 --> 01:05:16,511
That'll be $2.00
for the falafel.
1288
01:05:19,180 --> 01:05:20,916
The advice is free.
1289
01:05:23,385 --> 01:05:24,552
That's what
it's worth.
1290
01:05:28,390 --> 01:05:30,492
Can I ask you
a personal question?
1291
01:05:30,492 --> 01:05:31,626
Sure.
1292
01:05:31,626 --> 01:05:34,129
You ever played
professional sports?
1293
01:05:34,129 --> 01:05:36,097
That's awful
personal, but no.
1294
01:05:36,097 --> 01:05:37,399
Why not?
1295
01:05:37,399 --> 01:05:39,401
I wasn't good enough.
1296
01:05:39,401 --> 01:05:42,203
I wasn't good enough
to play professional anyway.
1297
01:05:42,203 --> 01:05:45,140
Besides, you couldn't
become a sports star
in my family.
1298
01:05:45,140 --> 01:05:47,509
My father used to say,
"You can do anything
you want to do
1299
01:05:47,509 --> 01:05:49,577
"as long as you
go to law school."
1300
01:05:49,577 --> 01:05:52,314
So that's why
you want a son.
1301
01:05:52,314 --> 01:05:53,481
To become a lawyer?
1302
01:05:53,481 --> 01:05:55,183
No, to become
a sports star.
1303
01:05:55,984 --> 01:05:57,319
Want to sit down?
1304
01:05:57,319 --> 01:05:58,386
Sure.
1305
01:06:03,024 --> 01:06:04,559
I don't care
what he does,
1306
01:06:04,559 --> 01:06:05,961
as long as
he's happy.
1307
01:06:05,961 --> 01:06:08,029
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
1308
01:06:08,697 --> 01:06:10,265
You hear that?
1309
01:06:11,599 --> 01:06:14,302
Know what the guys
at the Garden say?
1310
01:06:15,603 --> 01:06:17,172
"The sound of
a crowd cheering
1311
01:06:17,172 --> 01:06:18,707
"is the most
beautiful sound
in the world."
1312
01:06:20,175 --> 01:06:22,377
Know what
I think the most
beautiful sound is?
1313
01:06:22,377 --> 01:06:24,346
What?
1314
01:06:24,346 --> 01:06:30,051
I want to tape it,
play it every morning.
It's really something.
1315
01:06:30,051 --> 01:06:32,287
There's a playground
next to my apartment.
1316
01:06:32,287 --> 01:06:35,023
I go by every day
on my way to the Garden.
1317
01:06:35,023 --> 01:06:38,059
There's this
one little boy.
1318
01:06:38,059 --> 01:06:41,229
He can do anything
on his bicycle.
1319
01:06:41,229 --> 01:06:43,765
He totally defies
the laws of physics.
1320
01:06:43,765 --> 01:06:47,335
He can get this far
off the ground
and not fall over
1321
01:06:47,335 --> 01:06:49,170
and ride right along
the top of a fence
1322
01:06:49,170 --> 01:06:50,372
and not fall over.
1323
01:06:50,372 --> 01:06:52,407
He never falls.
1324
01:06:52,407 --> 01:06:54,175
You know the day
he's going to fall over?
1325
01:06:55,110 --> 01:06:58,013
The day he learns
about gravity.
1326
01:06:58,013 --> 01:07:01,216
The day that some schmuck
tells him about gravity.
1327
01:07:01,216 --> 01:07:03,551
That's why
I want a son.
1328
01:07:03,551 --> 01:07:06,254
So I can be there
the day he learns
about gravity.
1329
01:07:34,416 --> 01:07:37,519
You always make
each day special day
1330
01:07:37,519 --> 01:07:42,090
by just
your being you.
1331
01:07:42,090 --> 01:07:46,194
There's only one person
in this world like you.
1332
01:07:47,195 --> 01:07:49,364
You know
people will like you...
1333
01:07:49,364 --> 01:07:51,599
8:00, tomorrow night.
1334
01:07:51,599 --> 01:07:53,501
Don't forget.
What?
1335
01:07:53,501 --> 01:07:55,437
8:00, tomorrow night.
You won't forget?
1336
01:07:55,437 --> 01:07:56,771
I won't forget.
1337
01:07:57,739 --> 01:07:59,474
Forget what?
1338
01:07:59,474 --> 01:08:00,842
The prenatal clinic.
1339
01:08:00,842 --> 01:08:02,510
It's the father's
first night.
1340
01:08:02,510 --> 01:08:04,245
Oh, yeah.
1341
01:08:04,245 --> 01:08:05,346
Yeah.
1342
01:08:05,346 --> 01:08:06,514
I'll be there.
1343
01:08:07,649 --> 01:08:09,417
What are you watching?
1344
01:08:09,417 --> 01:08:11,853
Mister Rogers.
Know why I like him?
1345
01:08:12,787 --> 01:08:14,756
No. Why?
1346
01:08:14,756 --> 01:08:16,624
Because he likes me
just the way I am.
1347
01:08:23,565 --> 01:08:25,733
Larry, I'm sorry
to be dragging you
down here.
1348
01:08:25,733 --> 01:08:28,870
Fathers are supposed
to be here tonight.
1349
01:08:28,870 --> 01:08:31,573
Don't worry about it.
Be a lot of fun.
1350
01:08:31,573 --> 01:08:33,775
Buddy's making me
go through this.
1351
01:08:33,775 --> 01:08:35,777
Buddy should
be here.
1352
01:08:35,777 --> 01:08:37,312
He's probably
in a meeting.
1353
01:08:38,780 --> 01:08:40,248
This is it.
1354
01:08:42,283 --> 01:08:45,153
BUDDY: (OVER PA SYSTEM)
Faster than Sugar Ray,
prettier than Ali,
1355
01:08:45,153 --> 01:08:47,388
the world
middleweight champion...
1356
01:08:47,388 --> 01:08:49,791
Buddy Evans! (LAUGHS)
1357
01:08:52,694 --> 01:08:54,362
Do my favorite.
1358
01:08:54,362 --> 01:08:55,730
The big one?
1359
01:08:55,730 --> 01:08:57,232
Bambi's daddy.
1360
01:08:57,232 --> 01:08:58,766
I was saving him
for tonight.
1361
01:08:59,300 --> 01:09:00,468
Please?
1362
01:09:00,468 --> 01:09:01,603
Okay.
1363
01:09:12,780 --> 01:09:14,182
Is today Tuesday?
1364
01:09:14,182 --> 01:09:15,250
Yeah.
1365
01:09:16,184 --> 01:09:17,318
Hmm.
1366
01:09:18,653 --> 01:09:21,489
I forgot something.
1367
01:09:21,489 --> 01:09:25,593
Tonight we'll start
by learning how
to breathe together,
1368
01:09:25,593 --> 01:09:28,796
breathing in and out,
1369
01:09:28,796 --> 01:09:30,665
matching each
other's rhythm.
1370
01:09:30,665 --> 01:09:32,267
Let's try it. In...
1371
01:09:32,934 --> 01:09:34,502
Out.
1372
01:09:34,502 --> 01:09:36,437
Be sure you exhale
completely.
1373
01:09:36,437 --> 01:09:39,941
To guarantee that,
hum as you exhale.
1374
01:09:39,941 --> 01:09:41,543
Let's do it. In...
1375
01:09:42,410 --> 01:09:43,478
Out.
1376
01:09:44,379 --> 01:09:45,813
Let's hear it. In...
1377
01:09:46,648 --> 01:09:47,815
Out.
1378
01:09:47,815 --> 01:09:49,517
No humming,
just the breathing.
1379
01:09:49,517 --> 01:09:50,752
In...
1380
01:10:01,229 --> 01:10:02,297
Maggie.
1381
01:10:03,464 --> 01:10:04,532
Maggie.
1382
01:10:05,333 --> 01:10:06,434
Shh!
1383
01:10:10,438 --> 01:10:12,740
Excuse me. I'm just
looking for somebody.
1384
01:10:12,740 --> 01:10:14,576
Just go on
with what you're doing.
1385
01:10:18,446 --> 01:10:19,514
Maggie.
1386
01:10:23,952 --> 01:10:25,220
Maggie.
1387
01:10:25,987 --> 01:10:27,288
Maggie!
1388
01:10:27,288 --> 01:10:29,390
Buddy.
Over here.
1389
01:10:32,527 --> 01:10:33,595
Ow!
1390
01:10:33,595 --> 01:10:34,696
Do you mind?
1391
01:10:34,696 --> 01:10:36,364
Sir, do you mind?
1392
01:10:36,898 --> 01:10:38,366
Quiet.
1393
01:10:39,300 --> 01:10:40,835
I'm with that
couple over there.
1394
01:10:41,836 --> 01:10:42,904
Please.
1395
01:10:45,974 --> 01:10:47,242
Hi.
1396
01:10:48,710 --> 01:10:52,714
Sir, we have a very delicate
atmosphere in here.
1397
01:10:53,781 --> 01:10:54,916
Just pretend
i'm not here.
1398
01:10:54,916 --> 01:10:56,784
The class is waiting.
1399
01:11:02,857 --> 01:11:04,325
Do I have to sit
on the floor?
1400
01:11:04,325 --> 01:11:07,729
I've come here
five months now.
1401
01:11:07,729 --> 01:11:09,364
It's the least
you could do.
1402
01:11:10,965 --> 01:11:12,033
Sit!
1403
01:11:15,336 --> 01:11:16,871
We'll resume
the breathing
1404
01:11:16,871 --> 01:11:18,773
with the humming
on the exhaling.
1405
01:11:18,773 --> 01:11:19,841
Everybody.
1406
01:11:20,308 --> 01:11:21,376
In.
1407
01:11:21,576 --> 01:11:22,877
Out.
1408
01:11:23,845 --> 01:11:26,014
In. Louder. In.
1409
01:11:26,014 --> 01:11:27,582
Everybody.
1410
01:11:27,582 --> 01:11:28,783
Out.
1411
01:11:28,783 --> 01:11:30,785
(HUMMING)
1412
01:11:31,452 --> 01:11:32,820
In.
1413
01:11:32,820 --> 01:11:33,888
Out.
1414
01:11:33,888 --> 01:11:35,590
(HUMMING)
1415
01:11:35,590 --> 01:11:36,891
Very good.
1416
01:11:36,891 --> 01:11:38,359
In.
1417
01:11:39,027 --> 01:11:40,862
Out.
1418
01:11:40,862 --> 01:11:42,764
Everybody.
1419
01:11:42,764 --> 01:11:44,432
Now, without
the humming,
1420
01:11:44,432 --> 01:11:46,901
we'll continue
to breathe in rhythm.
1421
01:11:51,072 --> 01:11:55,410
Yoo-hoo! Buddy!
1422
01:11:55,410 --> 01:11:58,846
Buddy!
Where are you?
1423
01:12:02,850 --> 01:12:04,052
Buddy.
1424
01:12:04,052 --> 01:12:05,453
I'm hungry.
1425
01:12:09,524 --> 01:12:11,459
There you are!
1426
01:12:11,893 --> 01:12:13,328
MAN: Shh!
1427
01:12:18,433 --> 01:12:21,469
You mind taking her
home for me?
I'd really appreciate it.
1428
01:12:21,469 --> 01:12:22,704
Not at all.
Be a pleasure.
1429
01:12:22,704 --> 01:12:23,938
Thank you.
1430
01:12:26,441 --> 01:12:28,009
Excuse me.
1431
01:12:28,843 --> 01:12:30,378
May I help you?
1432
01:12:30,378 --> 01:12:31,946
I'm with him.
1433
01:12:31,946 --> 01:12:33,381
Is this your wife?
1434
01:12:33,381 --> 01:12:35,416
I'm not married.
Then who's she?
1435
01:12:35,416 --> 01:12:37,085
I'm just he mother
of his child.
1436
01:12:37,985 --> 01:12:39,620
I'm his date.
1437
01:12:39,620 --> 01:12:41,522
I'm a friend
of the family.
1438
01:12:41,522 --> 01:12:44,592
And as we exhale,
let's feel all the tensions
1439
01:12:44,592 --> 01:12:46,561
going out through
our fingertips.
1440
01:12:47,395 --> 01:12:48,463
In.
1441
01:12:49,364 --> 01:12:50,431
Out.
1442
01:12:51,065 --> 01:12:52,533
In.
1443
01:12:52,533 --> 01:12:53,801
I thought so.
1444
01:12:53,801 --> 01:12:55,770
Buddy,
it's Gloria.
1445
01:12:55,770 --> 01:12:57,638
Oh, Jesus.
1446
01:12:57,638 --> 01:12:59,374
It's been ages.
1447
01:12:59,374 --> 01:13:00,708
This is
my husband Bill.
1448
01:13:00,708 --> 01:13:02,877
This is Buddy,
an old lover of mine.
1449
01:13:02,877 --> 01:13:04,979
Now, let's
settle down. In...
1450
01:13:34,942 --> 01:13:36,177
(KEYS JINGLING)
1451
01:13:40,014 --> 01:13:41,916
I thought you were
taking me to dinner.
1452
01:13:41,916 --> 01:13:43,885
I'm taking you
to dinner, darling.
1453
01:13:43,885 --> 01:13:45,853
First, I thought
we'd have a...
1454
01:13:45,853 --> 01:13:47,755
Drink? I'm dying
for one.
1455
01:13:47,755 --> 01:13:49,424
That, too.
1456
01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:07,909
What are you
doing here?
1457
01:14:07,909 --> 01:14:09,110
Gestating.
1458
01:14:09,911 --> 01:14:11,512
I thought you had
a class.
1459
01:14:11,512 --> 01:14:12,780
It was canceled.
1460
01:14:14,549 --> 01:14:15,883
My friend's here.
1461
01:14:15,883 --> 01:14:17,819
She's very
old-fashioned.
1462
01:14:17,819 --> 01:14:21,856
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't mention
our arrangement.
1463
01:14:21,856 --> 01:14:23,724
I wouldn't
dream of it.
1464
01:14:23,724 --> 01:14:24,792
Thank you.
1465
01:14:25,560 --> 01:14:27,028
You expecting
company?
1466
01:14:30,765 --> 01:14:31,833
Mmm.
1467
01:14:31,833 --> 01:14:33,234
Okay, we're going
out to dinner.
1468
01:14:33,234 --> 01:14:35,036
I thought we were
having our drinks.
1469
01:14:36,938 --> 01:14:38,105
Hi.
1470
01:14:38,105 --> 01:14:39,807
Well, hi.
1471
01:14:39,807 --> 01:14:41,709
This is my...
His au pair.
1472
01:14:41,709 --> 01:14:43,578
My au pair.
1473
01:14:43,578 --> 01:14:44,879
How soon are you
having that baby?
1474
01:14:44,879 --> 01:14:46,647
Not soon enough.
1475
01:14:46,647 --> 01:14:50,518
Maggie, take
the evening off.
1476
01:14:50,518 --> 01:14:52,053
And leave you
all alone?
1477
01:14:52,053 --> 01:14:54,155
Yes. Leave us
all alone.
1478
01:14:54,155 --> 01:14:55,990
We're going out
to dinner.
1479
01:14:55,990 --> 01:14:57,658
Who's the proud
father?
1480
01:14:57,658 --> 01:14:58,893
There's no father.
1481
01:14:58,893 --> 01:14:59,961
A virgin birth?
1482
01:14:59,961 --> 01:15:01,028
Well, she's Catholic.
1483
01:15:01,729 --> 01:15:03,197
Bonsoir, Maggie.
1484
01:15:04,165 --> 01:15:05,900
And Alain Delon
to you.
1485
01:15:08,803 --> 01:15:10,638
My little Texas taco.
1486
01:15:10,638 --> 01:15:11,806
My little Dixie-
1487
01:15:11,806 --> 01:15:13,875
Come on, Buddy,
who's the father?
1488
01:15:13,875 --> 01:15:15,209
I was raped.
1489
01:15:16,544 --> 01:15:17,612
Raped?
1490
01:15:19,180 --> 01:15:20,248
Oh.
1491
01:15:25,653 --> 01:15:26,721
Yeah.
1492
01:15:27,655 --> 01:15:28,723
Yeah.
1493
01:15:29,924 --> 01:15:33,127
Tommy Kroeger.
1494
01:15:34,061 --> 01:15:36,264
I see that name
in every elevator.
1495
01:15:36,264 --> 01:15:38,933
He must have been
the inspector
1496
01:15:38,933 --> 01:15:40,201
in every elevator
in New York.
1497
01:15:40,201 --> 01:15:42,136
First
I was molested,
1498
01:15:42,136 --> 01:15:44,238
Then I was raped.
1499
01:15:44,238 --> 01:15:46,207
Even in
Madison Square Garden,
1500
01:15:46,207 --> 01:15:48,009
you see Tommy Kroeger
in the elevator.
1501
01:15:48,009 --> 01:15:49,944
You weren't
molested or raped.
1502
01:15:51,979 --> 01:15:53,548
The father was killed.
1503
01:15:53,548 --> 01:15:54,615
Killed?
1504
01:15:54,982 --> 01:15:56,684
In the war.
1505
01:15:56,684 --> 01:15:58,853
Oh. What war?
What war?
1506
01:16:00,955 --> 01:16:04,091
A man's paying me
to have his child.
1507
01:16:04,091 --> 01:16:08,629
I wouldn't go that far.
He could've been
a nice fellow.
1508
01:16:08,629 --> 01:16:09,864
See you, Maggie.
1509
01:16:11,766 --> 01:16:13,034
Monsieur?
1510
01:16:13,901 --> 01:16:15,236
Chateaubriand.
1511
01:16:15,236 --> 01:16:16,304
For two?
1512
01:16:16,304 --> 01:16:17,838
For four.
1513
01:16:17,838 --> 01:16:20,575
You're right.
I am a slave.
1514
01:16:20,575 --> 01:16:23,744
It just sounds
so medieval.
1515
01:16:25,246 --> 01:16:26,981
What kind of man
would do this?
1516
01:16:26,981 --> 01:16:29,216
Why don't we change
the subject?
1517
01:16:29,216 --> 01:16:30,718
Tell me something.
1518
01:16:31,986 --> 01:16:33,955
Was he brutal?
1519
01:16:33,955 --> 01:16:35,957
Ooh, soup!
I love soup!
1520
01:16:35,957 --> 01:16:37,058
Would you like
some soup?
1521
01:16:37,058 --> 01:16:40,227
No. He was gentle.
1522
01:16:40,227 --> 01:16:41,762
Gentle. Oh.
1523
01:16:41,762 --> 01:16:43,164
Sounds like a hell of a guy.
1524
01:16:43,164 --> 01:16:44,832
What is the soup du jour?
1525
01:16:45,299 --> 01:16:46,968
Soup of the day.
1526
01:16:48,035 --> 01:16:49,737
It was
so good of you
1527
01:16:49,737 --> 01:16:51,072
taking her
into your home.
1528
01:16:51,072 --> 01:16:55,710
He's been just
like a father
to me and my child.
1529
01:16:55,710 --> 01:16:56,978
I wouldn't say father.
1530
01:16:56,978 --> 01:16:58,713
I'd say,
just a regular guy.
1531
01:16:59,714 --> 01:17:01,182
Where you going?
I'm not hungry.
1532
01:17:01,182 --> 01:17:02,249
Where you going?
1533
01:17:02,249 --> 01:17:04,952
To the powder room.
1534
01:17:04,952 --> 01:17:06,687
Talk about the vegetables.
1535
01:17:06,687 --> 01:17:08,990
It's important to know
what vegetables you want.
1536
01:17:08,990 --> 01:17:11,158
Don't you ever
correct me again.
1537
01:17:17,965 --> 01:17:19,200
Do you have children?
1538
01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:20,301
I got three.
1539
01:17:20,301 --> 01:17:21,869
Two boys,
one girl.
1540
01:17:21,869 --> 01:17:24,071
They're in Texas
with my ex.
1541
01:17:24,071 --> 01:17:25,139
You look fantastic.
1542
01:17:25,139 --> 01:17:26,974
You've had
three children?
1543
01:17:26,974 --> 01:17:29,310
Yeah, thank you.
1544
01:17:29,310 --> 01:17:31,746
Did you gain much weight
when you were pregnant?
1545
01:17:32,680 --> 01:17:35,416
Of course.
I was huge.
1546
01:17:35,416 --> 01:17:37,184
I couldn't walk
across the floor.
1547
01:17:37,184 --> 01:17:38,419
I was monstrous.
1548
01:17:40,221 --> 01:17:42,923
I dreamt last night I was
the Port Authority building.
1549
01:17:43,991 --> 01:17:45,693
Port Authority
building?
1550
01:17:47,094 --> 01:17:48,763
But it's fun.
1551
01:17:48,763 --> 01:17:50,164
I feel everything.
1552
01:17:50,164 --> 01:17:52,900
All sorts of tingles
and twitches.
1553
01:17:52,900 --> 01:17:54,201
Sometimes I think
I even hear
1554
01:17:54,201 --> 01:17:56,003
the blood running
through my veins.
1555
01:17:56,003 --> 01:17:57,938
Especially at night
when I'm lying down.
1556
01:17:57,938 --> 01:17:59,006
Hmm.
1557
01:18:00,441 --> 01:18:01,809
Live it up.
1558
01:18:04,712 --> 01:18:06,981
At first,
I didn't really care.
1559
01:18:06,981 --> 01:18:09,417
But now I really
love this child.
1560
01:18:09,417 --> 01:18:11,252
And I pray that he's healthy,
1561
01:18:11,252 --> 01:18:13,854
that he has 10 toes
and 10 fingers.
1562
01:18:13,854 --> 01:18:17,158
He will.
He'll be fine.
1563
01:18:17,158 --> 01:18:18,359
I know that.
1564
01:18:18,359 --> 01:18:19,994
Want to know
how I know?
1565
01:18:19,994 --> 01:18:23,130
Okay. When
my first baby,
1566
01:18:23,130 --> 01:18:24,465
my little boy,
was born...
1567
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:30,104
He came out with
this real flat head.
1568
01:18:31,105 --> 01:18:33,340
It was strange.
1569
01:18:33,340 --> 01:18:35,376
The doctor said
not to worry.
1570
01:18:35,376 --> 01:18:38,913
He was certain
his head wouldn't
stay that way.
1571
01:18:38,913 --> 01:18:40,815
You know why
he was so certain?
1572
01:18:40,815 --> 01:18:42,183
No. How'd he know that?
1573
01:18:42,183 --> 01:18:44,418
He said he'd never
seen a grown-up person
1574
01:18:44,418 --> 01:18:45,853
with a head like that.
1575
01:18:49,423 --> 01:18:51,058
Buddy's the father,
isn't he?
1576
01:18:59,467 --> 01:19:01,068
Well, are you
in love with him?
1577
01:19:02,236 --> 01:19:03,337
I don't know.
1578
01:19:04,772 --> 01:19:08,142
Sometimes I think
I am...
1579
01:19:08,142 --> 01:19:10,911
But then sometimes
I think it's just
because of this one.
1580
01:19:13,114 --> 01:19:15,449
Buddy's a tough nut
to crack,
1581
01:19:15,449 --> 01:19:18,452
but underneath
all that stuff...
1582
01:19:20,054 --> 01:19:21,789
That's a good man.
1583
01:19:22,456 --> 01:19:23,758
Do you really think so?
1584
01:19:23,758 --> 01:19:25,459
I know it.
I know it.
1585
01:19:28,028 --> 01:19:29,497
So, tell me,
1586
01:19:29,497 --> 01:19:31,065
how do you like
having big tits?
1587
01:19:31,065 --> 01:19:32,500
(LAUGHS)
1588
01:19:37,271 --> 01:19:38,339
Where have you been?
1589
01:19:38,339 --> 01:19:40,775
With Sophia.
She's terrific.
1590
01:19:40,775 --> 01:19:43,043
I know.
Where is she?
1591
01:19:43,878 --> 01:19:45,279
She had to go.
1592
01:19:45,946 --> 01:19:47,882
Go? Where?
1593
01:19:47,882 --> 01:19:49,984
Home, I guess.
1594
01:19:49,984 --> 01:19:53,154
She said, don't worry,
she'll be in touch.
1595
01:19:55,456 --> 01:19:56,957
Yeah, that's right.
1596
01:19:56,957 --> 01:19:59,393
She'll probably
call me later.
1597
01:19:59,393 --> 01:20:01,962
That's a strange
thing for her to do.
1598
01:20:01,962 --> 01:20:03,230
I really like her.
1599
01:20:03,230 --> 01:20:05,199
She's one of the nicest
people I've ever met.
1600
01:20:05,199 --> 01:20:06,901
Don't eat that.
It's bad for you.
1601
01:20:06,901 --> 01:20:08,869
Why'd you tell her
those terrible stories
about me?
1602
01:20:08,869 --> 01:20:10,304
What stories?
1603
01:20:10,304 --> 01:20:12,439
That I was medieval,
a slave driver.
1604
01:20:13,841 --> 01:20:18,012
Buddy, what will you tell him
about his mother?
1605
01:20:18,012 --> 01:20:19,180
Whose?
1606
01:20:19,180 --> 01:20:20,347
Your son.
1607
01:20:20,347 --> 01:20:22,049
What will you tell him
about me?
1608
01:20:22,850 --> 01:20:24,151
He probably
won't ask.
1609
01:20:24,151 --> 01:20:26,053
He'll notice he doesn't
have a mother.
1610
01:20:27,121 --> 01:20:28,422
I'll tell him
we're divorced.
1611
01:20:28,422 --> 01:20:30,157
Suppose he wants
to meet me?
1612
01:20:30,157 --> 01:20:31,258
I'll stall him.
1613
01:20:31,258 --> 01:20:32,893
All his life?
All mine.
1614
01:20:34,562 --> 01:20:36,130
Sounds cruel.
1615
01:20:38,499 --> 01:20:40,167
Yeah, maybe
you're right.
1616
01:20:42,970 --> 01:20:45,306
I know.
I'll tell him
she died.
1617
01:20:49,210 --> 01:20:52,313
Where you going
with my child?
Out.
1618
01:20:52,313 --> 01:20:54,381
I'm going
to French class
with our child.
1619
01:20:54,381 --> 01:20:56,050
We have a contract.
1620
01:20:56,050 --> 01:20:58,485
Possession is 9/10
of the law.
1621
01:21:04,091 --> 01:21:05,159
Maggie!
1622
01:21:07,428 --> 01:21:08,495
Maggie!
1623
01:21:11,365 --> 01:21:14,435
Maggie, I got
an apology to make!
1624
01:21:57,444 --> 01:21:59,213
Nice shot, big guy.
1625
01:22:00,047 --> 01:22:01,315
Thank you.
1626
01:22:04,685 --> 01:22:06,453
What's the matter,
Buddy?
1627
01:22:07,087 --> 01:22:08,622
Nothing.
1628
01:22:08,622 --> 01:22:10,124
My dad says
you're upset
1629
01:22:10,124 --> 01:22:11,358
'cause Maggie
left you.
1630
01:22:12,426 --> 01:22:14,395
Your dad doesn't
know everything.
1631
01:22:14,395 --> 01:22:15,930
That's true.
1632
01:22:15,930 --> 01:22:17,531
Besides,
she didn't leave me.
1633
01:22:17,531 --> 01:22:19,233
She left the apartment.
1634
01:22:19,233 --> 01:22:20,567
You going
to marry her?
1635
01:22:21,936 --> 01:22:23,504
Me? Marry her?
1636
01:22:25,172 --> 01:22:26,507
What are you, crazy?
1637
01:22:32,079 --> 01:22:33,714
You think I should?
1638
01:22:33,714 --> 01:22:35,115
Yeah.
1639
01:22:35,115 --> 01:22:36,383
Why?
1640
01:22:36,383 --> 01:22:38,519
Then maybe you'll sink
one of those suckers.
1641
01:23:06,480 --> 01:23:10,985
KURT: I know.
This is the third time
you called me this weekend.
1642
01:23:10,985 --> 01:23:12,486
I know, but I've got
an important question.
1643
01:23:13,554 --> 01:23:15,356
You know anything
about plants?
1644
01:23:15,356 --> 01:23:17,424
No. But Betty does.
1645
01:23:17,424 --> 01:23:18,559
Ask her
what she does
1646
01:23:18,559 --> 01:23:22,663
when the leaves turn brown
and fall off.
1647
01:23:22,663 --> 01:23:24,198
Hold on.
1648
01:23:27,101 --> 01:23:29,169
She throws them away.
1649
01:23:29,169 --> 01:23:31,205
That's what I do.
1650
01:23:31,205 --> 01:23:33,273
Buddy, you want
to come for dinner?
1651
01:23:33,273 --> 01:23:35,309
No, thanks.
I got a lot to do.
1652
01:23:51,291 --> 01:23:54,061
SOPHIA: Hello?
Sophia, this is Buddy.
1653
01:23:54,061 --> 01:23:56,296
Buddy, honey,
how are you?
1654
01:23:56,296 --> 01:23:58,332
How's our
little mother?
1655
01:23:58,332 --> 01:24:01,668
Maggie... She left.
1656
01:24:01,668 --> 01:24:03,637
With the baby?
1657
01:24:03,637 --> 01:24:05,305
Uh...
1658
01:24:05,305 --> 01:24:06,673
Let me think.
1659
01:24:07,341 --> 01:24:09,176
Yeah.
1660
01:24:09,176 --> 01:24:11,478
Yeah, she left
with the baby.
1661
01:24:11,478 --> 01:24:13,347
Buddy, I'm so sorry.
1662
01:24:13,347 --> 01:24:14,782
Has she been in touch
with you?
1663
01:24:14,782 --> 01:24:16,417
No, but if I hear...
1664
01:24:16,417 --> 01:24:18,452
Don't tell her
I called.
1665
01:24:18,452 --> 01:24:20,721
I'm just anxious
to know how she is.
1666
01:24:57,124 --> 01:24:58,592
(INAUDIBLE)
1667
01:25:39,466 --> 01:25:44,238
LARRY: Hello?
BUDDY: Larry,
I need a physical.
1668
01:25:44,238 --> 01:25:46,340
I've given you
two this week.
1669
01:25:46,340 --> 01:25:47,541
But I'm losing weight.
1670
01:25:47,541 --> 01:25:49,743
Eat.
I can't.
1671
01:25:49,743 --> 01:25:51,545
All I think about
is Maggie.
1672
01:26:04,191 --> 01:26:05,492
(INAUDIBLE)
1673
01:26:43,764 --> 01:26:48,669
I'll find that contract
and rip it into
in a million pieces.
1674
01:26:49,870 --> 01:26:53,340
See? I told him not
to water them so much.
1675
01:26:54,241 --> 01:26:55,842
Just end this little game
1676
01:26:55,842 --> 01:26:57,411
and tell him
you love him.
1677
01:26:57,411 --> 01:26:58,645
Because I don't love him.
1678
01:26:58,645 --> 01:27:00,414
Oh, yes, you do.
1679
01:27:03,317 --> 01:27:04,518
I do love him.
1680
01:27:04,952 --> 01:27:06,386
Or at least I did.
1681
01:27:07,888 --> 01:27:09,957
I have this dream
1682
01:27:09,957 --> 01:27:12,392
that Buddy and I
do love each other.
1683
01:27:13,560 --> 01:27:16,263
Is that
the dumbest dream
you've ever heard?
1684
01:27:16,263 --> 01:27:18,332
Those are the ones
that come true,
1685
01:27:18,332 --> 01:27:19,566
the dumb ones.
1686
01:27:21,301 --> 01:27:22,436
Go right now.
1687
01:27:22,436 --> 01:27:23,904
He's out of town today.
1688
01:27:27,374 --> 01:27:29,309
I miss you, Celia.
1689
01:27:32,879 --> 01:27:34,648
Take care
of yourself, baby.
1690
01:27:37,951 --> 01:27:39,920
I don't know
how to find her.
1691
01:27:39,920 --> 01:27:42,789
When I do find her
I don't know
what the hell to say.
1692
01:27:42,789 --> 01:27:46,260
For God's sakes.
Why don't you
just tell her?
1693
01:27:46,260 --> 01:27:47,794
Tell her what?
1694
01:27:47,794 --> 01:27:49,396
Tell her you love her.
1695
01:27:51,565 --> 01:27:56,703
It's not that hard.
Try it, one word at a time.
1696
01:27:56,703 --> 01:27:58,305
I... Love...
1697
01:28:00,941 --> 01:28:02,609
Maggie.
1698
01:28:02,609 --> 01:28:04,278
BUDDY: Give me a break.
1699
01:28:04,278 --> 01:28:05,345
Maggie!
1700
01:28:09,516 --> 01:28:10,751
BUDDY: Wait a minute!
1701
01:28:10,751 --> 01:28:12,486
Don't come any
closer to me!
1702
01:28:15,389 --> 01:28:16,456
I want to talk
to you.
1703
01:28:16,456 --> 01:28:18,058
There's nothing
to talk about.
1704
01:28:18,058 --> 01:28:19,426
I'm keeping
this baby.
1705
01:28:19,426 --> 01:28:20,894
It's my baby, too.
1706
01:28:20,894 --> 01:28:23,964
I realize that.
I'm willing
to compromise.
1707
01:28:24,865 --> 01:28:27,401
Compromise?
1708
01:28:27,401 --> 01:28:30,304
You can have
visiting rights
once a month,
1709
01:28:30,304 --> 01:28:32,039
two weeks
in the summertime,
1710
01:28:32,039 --> 01:28:33,674
New Year's Day...
1711
01:28:35,042 --> 01:28:36,543
Your birthday.
1712
01:28:49,790 --> 01:28:50,991
Maggie!
1713
01:28:53,794 --> 01:28:55,062
Hit the lights!
1714
01:29:00,567 --> 01:29:03,370
What do you
want from me?
1715
01:29:03,370 --> 01:29:05,105
I want you to come home
and have the baby.
1716
01:29:05,105 --> 01:29:07,607
Why do you want
this baby?
1717
01:29:07,607 --> 01:29:08,975
Because I love it.
1718
01:29:08,975 --> 01:29:11,545
You can't
love anything.
1719
01:29:17,617 --> 01:29:18,819
I love you.
1720
01:29:27,427 --> 01:29:30,464
Five minutes ago,
when I smiled,
1721
01:29:30,464 --> 01:29:31,998
it was the first time
since you left.
1722
01:29:47,414 --> 01:29:48,749
Boy, this is terrific.
1723
01:29:48,749 --> 01:29:50,984
I feel like God.
1724
01:29:50,984 --> 01:29:52,619
So what do you say?
You want to get married?
1725
01:29:52,619 --> 01:29:55,622
Of course, I'm serious.
You want to get married?
1726
01:29:55,622 --> 01:29:57,591
Yes, Buddy,
I'll marry you.
1727
01:29:58,492 --> 01:30:00,127
As soon as this
is all over.
1728
01:30:00,127 --> 01:30:01,762
We can't wait
that long.
1729
01:30:01,762 --> 01:30:02,963
When?
1730
01:30:02,963 --> 01:30:04,131
Now!
1731
01:30:04,798 --> 01:30:06,099
Now?
1732
01:30:06,099 --> 01:30:08,101
No son of mine is going to
be born fatherless.
1733
01:30:08,101 --> 01:30:09,469
This is
Reverend Williams.
1734
01:30:09,469 --> 01:30:10,537
How are you?
Fine.
1735
01:30:10,537 --> 01:30:12,406
Let's get with it.
Do you have a ring?
1736
01:30:12,406 --> 01:30:13,807
I forgot it!
I got one.
1737
01:30:13,807 --> 01:30:14,941
We need
a maid of honor!
1738
01:30:14,941 --> 01:30:16,009
That's me!
1739
01:30:16,009 --> 01:30:18,078
We are gathered here...
1740
01:30:18,078 --> 01:30:20,080
Skip all that.
Get to the good stuff.
1741
01:30:20,080 --> 01:30:22,015
Do you... Buddy, take...
"Buddy."
1742
01:30:22,015 --> 01:30:24,017
"Maggie." Oh, yeah!
Do you take Maggie...
1743
01:30:24,017 --> 01:30:26,720
Will you
help me out?
1744
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:28,588
BUDDY: Pronounce us
man and wife.
1745
01:30:28,588 --> 01:30:30,957
REVEREND: Of course I will.
That's why I'm here.
1746
01:30:30,957 --> 01:30:32,159
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
1747
01:30:32,159 --> 01:30:33,794
REVEREND: Hallelujah
for everyone!
118551
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.