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1
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The following program me contains
strong language and adult humour.
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00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,560
You know how I feel about secrets.
There's this big one in the garden.
3
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,079
Your dick pills, Glen. When are
you gonna stop letting people
4
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,560
treat you like shit. Dickwad!
5
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,880
He, er, wants you to cover for him
tomorrow as acting assistant manager.
6
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,640
Cheers, Ian! Someone's been
a naughty boy, ain't they?
7
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,640
Promise me there's nothing dodgy
going on. Who you been talking to?
8
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,520
I'm gone, so call 'em off!
9
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,000
Does the name Bunny ring a bell?
10
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,040
I'm the man.
11
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,360
I'm the man!
12
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:49,640
I'm the fucking... manager
for today, with Ian off sick.
13
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,760
So, I thought, "Hey, why
not shake things up a bit?"
14
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,680
Agh, mine's stale
Glen, can I swap it?
15
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,440
I want your suggestions. What can
we do better? Throw it out there,
16
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,440
whatever you wanna say.
This one's shit and all.
17
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,800
Let's make this a more
engaged workplace environment.
18
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,840
And maybe, just maybe,
19
00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:07,400
we'll sell a few more quality
flooring systems along the way!
20
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,360
Bullshit. Sorry?
21
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,760
You're manager now?
Just like that?
22
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,880
Er, well, no, acting
assistant manager-Bullshit!
23
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,280
Eugh! I know what's
going on here!
24
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,200
Fuck me, there's
custard in this?
25
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,840
You think I'm dumb? You
think I'm a dumb fool?
26
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:28,120
Oh, no... I heard you!
Chatting up Ian in the bogs!
27
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,880
No, no, Bri-Brian that's not
what happened. It's not li-Rat!
28
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,640
Rat tactics! What?!
29
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,080
Chill out, grandad!
Shush, you!
30
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,316
Oh, OK, let's make this- Did
he... Did he just shush me?
31
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,000
Simmer down. Don't shush
me, fucking liquorice breath!
32
00:01:42,039 --> 00:01:44,880
OK, not that sort of language-
Who even eats liquorice?
33
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,320
Shits from the past. Like you!
Aysha, Aysha I've got this!
34
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,800
I'm on your side,
dickhead. Go, and open up,
35
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,960
it's nearly nine. Now,
go! Or what, Glen?
36
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,720
You gonna throw noodles at me?
37
00:01:53,759 --> 00:01:56,560
What? Yes, bruv.
I've seen the video!
38
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:01,200
Ian's not gotten sick. Ian's
gotten criminally insane. Look!
39
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,320
"Suck that! Suck that."
40
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,720
Yes, bruv! You and Ian, is
it? Cheeky little date night?
41
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,479
I bloody knew it!
42
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,240
Erm...
43
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,640
Time ♪
44
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,040
♪ Well, well
45
00:02:18,079 --> 00:02:20,079
♪ Well, well,
well, well, well. ♪
46
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,320
Oh, no.
47
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:55,360
Oh.Oh, sorry, won't be a minute.
I don't mind if you don't.
48
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,280
OK...
49
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,080
Suits me, dunnit?
Er, yeah, erm...
50
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,240
Oh, sorry.
51
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,360
Er, so, no work today, no?
52
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:16,560
No. I've got a day off today,
so I'm taking my Mum out,
53
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,120
bit of retail therapy!
How lovely.Mm.
54
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,040
That's good of you that is, using
up your holiday. Yeah, well,
55
00:03:22,079 --> 00:03:24,480
she's helping us with
the wedding fund so...
56
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,840
It's mental the amount
people spend nowadays. Huh?
57
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,920
Fifteen, twenty
grand, some of 'em.
58
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,760
Well, it's our big day,
so... Course it is.
59
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,520
And you want everything
to be just right.Yeah.
60
00:03:35,079 --> 00:03:38,200
Glen was saying you might be staying
with us for a couple of days?
61
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,040
Only... if it's
alright with you.
62
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,200
Oh, yeah, absolutely,
brilliant. Yeah, great.
63
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,840
Do you know, I might just...
I'm gonna give you some space,
64
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,520
OK, thank you. Oh!
65
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,440
No! No! No! I'm not working
my butthole off... Please...
66
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,200
Brian, Brian... Ugh... all day
just to make you look good!
67
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,960
Fire him, Glen. Who cares?
68
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,480
The man's a fucking
incel. You hear that?!
69
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,240
Abuse! Right there!
70
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,200
I've taken this from her
for too long! Shush man,
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00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,160
you don't know shit
about shit. Look, Brian,
72
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,600
m-m-m-maybe we could just
talk this through, yeah?
73
00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:16,519
M-m-m-m-m-maybe... it's
time I pulled the trigger.
74
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,839
No.Let's see what HR
has to say about this.
75
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,040
Please, Brian.
Not... Brian no, no,
76
00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:24,200
Come on, man. Helen.
77
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,160
Get your fleece. We're leaving.
78
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,040
Are those two shagging? Huh.
79
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,080
Brian? Br-Brian...
80
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,320
No, don't, Brian...
81
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,400
B-Brian... And to think, Glen,
82
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,280
I wasn't going to tell
anyone about your dick pills.
83
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,200
Mic drop.
84
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,159
Don't do
that. Hmm? Don't rinse.
85
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,080
Keep the fluoride in, good
for the enamel and that.Erm...
86
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:03,640
Oh, well, I didn't know that.
87
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,880
Right, thanks. So,
when is the big day?
88
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,440
Erm, so it's just over
three months away now.
89
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,160
So, will you...? Will you be
joining us? Well, obviously,
90
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,320
if I can, you know, but, erm...
91
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,520
Yeah, no, well it'll be
brilliant to have you there.
92
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,120
I mean, like I say, I, you
know... Yeah, of course, hey.
93
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,920
Oh, do
you know what, Lee?
94
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:28,480
Erm, do you know what I just don't
quite understand, is, erm-Uh-oh.
95
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,200
Mm... Glen been neglecting
his manly duties?
96
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,920
Sorry? Not keeping his end up?
97
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,760
Your tap. Needs a washer.
98
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,560
Yeah. It's been like that
for a while, ain't it? Yeah.
99
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:50,040
Yeah. For God's
sake, Glen. I know.
100
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,360
I'll slip out today,
101
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,400
go get you one. Brilliant.
102
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:02,320
Make myself useful while I'm here.
Yeah, that'd be great, thank you.
103
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,040
He's put in a formal complaint.
104
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,680
Harassment, discrimination
and unfair promotion.
105
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,120
It's... I'm fucked.
106
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,840
Let it go, bruv,
Brian's a poosio.
107
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,000
Man's like a Tik Tok
lesbian.
108
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,040
Aysha...
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00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,040
don't take this the
wrong way, but...
110
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,160
are you never worried,
like, you might get fired?
111
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,920
Only cos, like, I'm
not being funny,
112
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,840
but you are... You're sort of
quite bad at your job, aren't you?
113
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,040
Mate. You gotta
let that energy go.
114
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,360
It's just like, fate or whatever,
you know? Like 'YOLO' and that.
115
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,480
(SIGHS) Also,
my family own the company.
116
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:42,480
What? World of Carpets, yeah.
117
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,560
Fourteen stores
across the Southeast.
118
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,760
We're like... minted.
Don't tell no one, though.
119
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,760
Alright. And I won't tell
no one about your... Yeah?
120
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,760
Alright? Yeah, yeah.
121
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,960
Christ, like, it's
nearly one o'clock.
122
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,320
How's not one person
come through those doors?
123
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,480
Wait,
124
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,920
I knew there was
something. I knew it!
125
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,680
What?
126
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,400
Cos you asked me to
unlock them, didn't you?!
127
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,880
Fuck!
128
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,720
What, mate, don't take
them all!
129
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,520
Oi? I only want...
130
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,320
one pack.
131
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,800
Chill out, bruh,
it's not that deep.
132
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,760
Believe
me, Ron, I'm looking.
133
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,640
Lee fucking Campbell.
134
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,000
When I find him, I'll fucking...
135
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,000
It's like... It's
like... It's like...
136
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,720
looking for a cunt
in a haystack.
137
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,200
I was standing there
first, and you saw me.
138
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,560
They'll have more in the
back! I couldn't give a fuck
139
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,000
what's in the back. It's
about the fucking principle.
140
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,200
Fuck off, you fucking nonce!
141
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,800
I know, Ron, I know.
142
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,080
I heard what you said,
I know, I'm fucking...
143
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,960
My eyes are peeled, yes...
144
00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:38,520
Just taking a little break. Just
picking up a few things, yeah? Oi!
145
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,960
Hang on a sec, shut up, will ya?
146
00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,760
Shush!MAN: (VIA
"Gavin to wood flooring."
147
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,840
"Gavin to wood
flooring, please." Ron,
148
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,000
you are not gonna believe this!
149
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,040
Ugh!
150
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,800
Here you are.
151
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,840
Keep the
change, my darling.
152
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,840
You're 5p short.
153
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,840
It's him, Ron. It's
actually fucking him!
154
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,200
He's here in Loughton. Yeah.
155
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,640
Looks like we're gonna have
to find this brother of his.
156
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,320
Bloody swines! Tried
to turn me away.
157
00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,000
You can't use the loos
unless you make a purchase.
158
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,760
Fucking Nazis! I mean, I
said, "It's Costa Coffee love,
159
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,120
"not Dachau!" Mother! He backed down
when I pointed out I'm on my stick.
160
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,440
I do need it, Kirsty.
My symptoms come and go.
161
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,720
Now... Right,
I need some "eyeshadder".
162
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,680
I've had my colours done,
turns out I'm fucking "winter"!
163
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,840
Right, I'll wait
here. You what?
164
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,000
I'll wait here. I'll wait
here. I just wanna look at...
165
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,280
things. Oh, right. OK.
166
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,760
I'll just ask some ran do shall I,
what suits me best? Don't worry,
167
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,400
cos I've only lumped you
half my fucking life savings
168
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,440
for your wedding, but no,
you wait there, why not(?)
169
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,760
What do ya think? Yeah.
170
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,400
Yeah? It's nice, yeah.
I want a second opinion.
171
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,440
No! Come on. Honestly! What the shit
has crawled up your arse and died!
172
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,520
Oh, right. That again.
173
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:44,760
What? No. It's your business.No.
What are you, erm...? No, no, no.
174
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,560
Just as long as you sort it out
before your wedding.No...
175
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,480
OK, it has nothing
to do with- No.
176
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,240
Everything's really good,
actually. Yeah, we're really...
177
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,720
Yeah, Glen's, erm, actually up
for promotion at the moment, so...
178
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,480
Least one of yous working,
aye? Look, I've said it before,
179
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,360
I'll say it again.
Fucking and feeding,
180
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,520
that's all men need. You keep
that up, you're laughing.Hmm.
181
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,320
That's where it went wrong with
your dad. Always with a Fray Bentos
182
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,800
but when it come to intercourse- We
are nothing like you and Dad! OK?
183
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,160
Oh? No, actually, yeah,
Glen, if anything...
184
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:16,120
..my God, he wants
it too much, so... Bully for you.
185
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,760
Right, Matalan.
186
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,840
They'll try and give you
grief about not being able
187
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,320
to return underwear, but say
I've been on martinlewis.com,
188
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,040
I know my rights. Mm-hmm.
189
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,240
Alright, love! Fuck. Sorry.
190
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,200
Hiya, love, hiya. What?
191
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,600
What? Y-You're...
192
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,520
You're doing a
face. What? I'm not.
193
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,960
You are a bit. (CHUCKLES
NERVOUSLY)Am I?
194
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,680
Oh, erm...
195
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,080
OK, well,
196
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,640
I was gonna wait to talk to
you about this, but, erm...
197
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,520
Yeah, I've just...
I found these, so...
198
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,840
Erm, and I-I'm not
cross, not at all, no.
199
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,760
I just... We'd said
no secrets, hadn't we?
200
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,200
So... I don't need
'em. So... What? Er,
201
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,200
just in case, but you
know I don't need em, so-
202
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,200
Yeah, but I'd like to talk
to you about it, Glen.
203
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,640
It's fine, Kirsty. Can you
just- OK, no, but can you,
204
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,360
because we did used to
didn't we? Like, quite often.
205
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,840
It's nothing, if you just-
Do you not fancy me anymore?
206
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,400
I love you to bits,
Kirst. But you don't...
207
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,440
Course! I... Kirst... Kirsty!
208
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,200
I'm actually, just gonna,
because... Yeah, no. Well, don't...
209
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,720
What I'm saying is... You don't
need to throw them in the bin,
210
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,280
Glen. The thing is, I don't need
them Kirst! So...
211
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,920
Alright? Hiya! Alright?
212
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,960
Got the washer for your tap.
213
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,560
Oh, brilliant, brilliant!
214
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,680
Cup of tea? Yeah. Yes,
please.Lovely.Thank you!
215
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,000
What
don't you need?
216
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,040
Hmm?
217
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,080
You were just saying. Erm...
218
00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,360
Right, yes, er, we...
we... we... we...
219
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,760
we were just talking about-
About Orthopaedic insoles.
220
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,520
Orthopaedic insoles.Yeah.Yeah,
I don't need em. So...
221
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,560
Right. Yes.Congratulations.
222
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,960
Mm. Thank you, yeah,
cos I... I bought some.
223
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,080
For the dance. For the
wedding dance, yeah. Yeah,
224
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,880
we've been practising
for months! Yeah.
225
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,680
And I often get a twinge on the-
On the pas de bourree. Yeah,
226
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,560
yes so I bought some, yeah.
But I, erm...
227
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,440
I... I don't need them,
actually.
228
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,480
So... You sure?
229
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,600
Yeah, I'm... I'm... I'm
feeling much better so, erm...
230
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:24,480
...maybe later let's, erm...
have a bash at the Paso doble.
231
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,040
Tea for ya. Oh,
aha!
232
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,920
Thank you. Now, go and put your
trotters up. I'll fix your tap.
233
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,920
Go on. Ah... Yeah.
234
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,240
: Why is
he wearing my shorts?
235
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,040
Bim Bom ♪
236
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,360
♪ Bim bom bim bim bom bim bim
237
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,040
♪ Bim bom bim bim bom bom... ♪
238
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,880
Sorry, I do just keep
thinking about Ian.
239
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,720
Right.
240
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,920
Just... Just, like, if-if, you
know, he's not there tomorrow,
241
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,200
then am I manager still?
Is he manager-Glen!
242
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,440
Shall we... Pasa doble?
243
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,560
Yeah. Yeah? Yes.
244
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,920
I might just actually just...
245
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,840
Er, do you mind if I, erm,
just b... b-brush my teeth.
246
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,160
Mm-hmm.
247
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,880
Yep.
248
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,600
SPEED)
249
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,160
"You are a
tower of strength."
250
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,840
"A volcano of masculine energy."
251
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,960
Won't be a minute,
Kirst! "Your penis is..."
252
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,240
"You are
a totem of virility."
253
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,600
"Your penis is a
mighty redwood."
254
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,520
Coming, I'll be
right there. Mm-hmm.
255
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,760
"You are strong,"
256
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,760
"magnificent."
257
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,920
"You are a totem of virility."
258
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,320
"A volcano of
masculine energy..."
259
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,640
"a tower of strength."Agh!
: "Your penis
260
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,800
is a mighty redwood.
261
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,600
"You are st..."
262
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,240
How long?
263
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,560
Right.
264
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,280
Get your
fucking shoes on.
265
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,200
Glen?
266
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,520
Glen?
267
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,840
Wait... Wait!
268
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,320
We cannot be here!
269
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,120
I'm not even supposed to be
bloody- Shut your fucking mouth
270
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,080
and get your
clothes off. What?
271
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,280
Get your clobber off...
272
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,120
...down to your pants.
273
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,080
OK. No.
274
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,079
That is actually...
Argh! I want it off.
275
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,520
Get off. Get off me.
276
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,560
Argh. Alright! Alright!
277
00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:15,240
Just fucking tell me what we're
supposed to be doing. I know you.
278
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,319
Now, you might have the world
fooled with your old man trousers
279
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:21,560
and your tidy little borders but you
can't fool me, son, I'm your brother.
280
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:24,839
There's a mad cunt inside you,
281
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,800
and we gotta get him out.
So, we're gonna fight.
282
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,480
Man to man, skin to skin.
283
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,360
Because that Glen,
that's what you need.
284
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,560
What?! No, I don't need that...
285
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,400
Argh! You wanna get
hard? Get off me! Ugh!
286
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,240
Get off! Off!
287
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,200
Come on, mate, let's
get you hard! Argh.
288
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,640
Huh? Who is it?!
289
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,920
Reveal yourself!
290
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:53,880
I can't fucking believe this!
291
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,680
So, it's fight club?
It's not fight club.
292
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,320
Yes, it's fight club. It sounds
a lot like-It's not fight club.
293
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,440
It's fight club. Ian,
why are you here?
294
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,680
I got booked by the rozzers,
Glen! Why didn't you just go home?
295
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:19,480
Sheila takes a dim view of...
I thought it best I stay away.
296
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,240
So, after everyone left today,
297
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,320
I set up camp over
by the shagpiles,
298
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,520
haven't looked back! So, Lee...
299
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,920
fight club. Where do I sign up?
300
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,520
Mm.
301
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,920
Now you got some issues,
but this ain't about you
302
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,680
This is about you.
303
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,800
So, are we gonna have a tear up
or what? No, no, no. I'm leaving.
304
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:19,040
I'm sorry. Yeah, but I-I've...
I've got work tomorrow,
305
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,560
actually. A-A-A-And they're
not "old man" trousers,
306
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,960
they're dri-fit chinos,
they're breathable active wear.
307
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,840
Ooh, you getting annoyed
are ya? I am, actually!
308
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,800
Yeah, I'm... I'm
getting... frigged off!
309
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,560
Well, fucking show me, then! I
won't, Lee! I shan't be drawn!
310
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,600
Oh, he shan't be drawn,
Ian. I will. I'll be drawn.
311
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,120
Take your weight off my chinos.
312
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,440
No, no, I think Glen does
need to run home to Kirsty.
313
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,080
I reckon she'd rather be on her
own tonight. You are creasing
314
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:47,360
the hem, Lee! That way she
can invite in the pizza boy.
315
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,040
Cos she's gotta get a bit of cock
from somewhere ain't she? Fu...
316
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,400
Oh! There he is! I
knew he was in there,
317
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:57,520
the Old Angry Beaver. Yeah
I've got the plums son.
318
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,840
Ruddy big ones!
319
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,360
Come on then, you nutty
bollocks! Let's fucking have it!
320
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,600
Argh!
321
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,560
Yes! Oh yes!
322
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,520
Oh, well, Ian, looks like
it's just me and you...
323
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,360
My little brother
wants to tap out.
324
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,880
You know my mother, she
swore she never smoked
325
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,160
when she was pregnant with him
but I think it's open for debate.
326
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,720
Some of my earliest memories
were plumes of smoke
327
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,000
coming underneath the pantry door
while I was watching Button Moon!
328
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,200
So, think it's safe to say
329
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:05,040
that that old girl was lying
through her fucking-(GROANS)
330
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,480
That woman was a saint!
331
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,520
So, you won't throw
a punch at me,
332
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,520
but you'll whack me
with a fucking pipe?
333
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,400
It's a D40 inner tube!
334
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,240
Ugh! Yes! Come
on! Yes Glen! Come on!
335
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,880
Yes! Let it out!
336
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,120
I'm not letting anything out!
337
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,040
Yeah. I'm a... Argh.
338
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,120
Sorry, Ian, sorry! Oh, God.
There's... There's blood!
339
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,640
I knew there was
a bit of Dad inside you!
340
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,680
First... First
aid! FUCK YOU, LEE!
341
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,000
Oh!
342
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,920
Feels good
that dunnit, Glen, huh?
343
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,720
All that aggression running
through ya! It's not...
344
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,400
I'm not... Ugh!
345
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,000
Yes, alright. Yes,
it fucking does.
346
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,520
Yeah. Cos who are ya? I'm...
347
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,520
I'm... Who are ya!? Ugh!
348
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,520
I'm the angry fucking beaver!
349
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,760
Yeah!
350
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,720
Yes! You use that energy.Yeah.
And you take it into the world,
351
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,000
and you go and get whatever
you fucking want! Yeah!
352
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,440
Do you understand me?
Yes! How do you feel?
353
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,200
I feel... I feel livid.
354
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,080
What about? About Roger next
door parking on our drive.
355
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,320
What else? A-And...
And... fruity vapes!
356
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,720
And? And people
calling me "big man"
357
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:32,600
and... and teenagers playing their
music without earphones, like,
358
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,840
I don't wanna hear Cardi
B saying the N word,
359
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,720
I'm in Holland and fucking
Barrett! Yeah! Yeah!
360
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,840
And... And there's
you! What? Yeah!
361
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,680
You! I'm trying to help
ya! No! You're not!
362
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,200
We both know you're not
here to reconnect, Lee!
363
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,680
Mum knew it. "Don't
rely on him," she said.
364
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,520
"Cos he won't be there for you when
you need him!"What, she said that?
365
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,960
Yeah. Now, here you
are, eh? In my house,
366
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,480
eating my fucking
Muller Fruit Corners!
367
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,080
Easy! Easy! Why are
you really here? Huh?
368
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:02,720
Why are you here, Lee?
Eh? Why are you here?!
369
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,000
It's bad, Glen. It's
really fucking bad.
370
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:14,440
Uh cleaning?
371
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:20,040
Bim Bom ♪
♪ Bim bom bim bim bom bom
372
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,400
♪ Bim bom bim bim bom bim bim
373
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,000
♪ Bim bom bim bim bom bom
374
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,760
♪ Bim bom bim bim bom bim bim
375
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,920
♪ Bim bom bim bim bom bom. ♪
376
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,000
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