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Been on spring break for
a month? Here are some
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00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:07,139
mad moments you may have
missed. Tuesday, 9 a.m.
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00:00:07,639 --> 00:00:10,869
After Veronica Mars fans raised
millions of dollars to fund the movie,
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00:00:10,869 --> 00:00:14,910
fans of The Office raised millions to
destroy all evidence of the last four seasons.
5
00:00:15,630 --> 00:00:17,210
Friday, 6 p.m.
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00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:21,420
The new Tom Cruise movie about
humanity abandoning Earth opens,
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00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:25,210
causing humanity to
abandon Earth. Wednesday, 8 p.m.
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00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:29,269
Nicki Minaj is late to American
Idol because she's watching this.
9
00:00:47,439 --> 00:00:51,950
Send the WWE title to your
champion, John Cena! Thank
10
00:00:51,950 --> 00:00:54,420
you, Vince. So, uh, where's the belt?
11
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:58,179
I thought you had the
belt. No, I have the belt.
12
00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,630
The Miz? Hey, I know you.
13
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:04,689
You're that ex-contestant from
Real World Road Rules Challenge.
14
00:01:05,189 --> 00:01:09,810
Leave the past where it is, will ya?
I just want to live a normal life,
15
00:01:09,810 --> 00:01:13,769
as an over-the-top reality star champion
wrestler persona. And all I need is this.
16
00:01:14,329 --> 00:01:15,590
So long, suckers.
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00:01:21,909 --> 00:01:29,689
There, outside the
arena, a wrestler is running,
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00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:39,459
a belt he has stolen. I must give chase.
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00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,640
Vince be my witness.
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00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:48,969
I never shall yield
till I've beaten his face.
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00:01:55,890 --> 00:02:00,239
John Cena will never find me here in
early 19th century France. Thanks,
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00:02:00,239 --> 00:02:04,849
Time Machine Wizard. You got it,
Miz. And now my debt to you is paid.
23
00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:06,769
Onward, Chronosteed!
24
00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:10,810
I'm free! I'm finally free!
25
00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:36,490
But... I had a dream I'd be on top When I
was just some young jabroni We meet again.
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00:02:37,469 --> 00:02:38,250
John Cena?
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00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:40,219
But how did you ever find me?
28
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:44,819
Let's just say I called in a favor
from an old friend. No problem, John.
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00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,919
And now my debt to you is paid.
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00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:53,240
Time machine wizard.
You can't keep running.
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00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,509
There's only one way
for us to settle this.
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00:02:59,879 --> 00:03:00,860
One more match.
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00:03:01,419 --> 00:03:02,139
Another kick.
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00:03:02,740 --> 00:03:04,319
Another broken knee.
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00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,979
What will become of Miz's legacy?
36
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,979
Will the whole world
know my crime? And by the
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00:03:10,979 --> 00:03:14,189
way, it's hard to rhyme. One more match.
38
00:03:14,259 --> 00:03:17,900
One more match to settle our feud. I
will hit you with this chair. See,
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00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:21,810
that belt belongs to me now.
Oh, hey, quick, look over there.
40
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:22,990
One more match.
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00:03:23,530 --> 00:03:25,430
One more match between these awful...
42
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:31,719
Do I follow Ms. Orsina? They are
trading fakie soft blows. Oh boy,
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00:03:31,719 --> 00:03:33,270
I shall fight to win her.
44
00:03:33,289 --> 00:03:34,069
One more man!
45
00:03:38,189 --> 00:03:41,000
I think about it, and
yeah, it makes sense.
46
00:04:17,939 --> 00:04:21,939
Brother, this is definitely the
weirdest pay-per-view they have ever done.
47
00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:39,699
Come on. Did you not see the sign?
48
00:04:42,339 --> 00:04:44,290
Do you wish your hair had more volume?
49
00:04:44,579 --> 00:04:45,430
Sure do.
50
00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:52,689
Then you need... Irish Scream, the
shampoo that puts your hair on end.
51
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,449
It really works.
52
00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:58,970
With Irish Scream, there's no need
for special gels or conditioners.
53
00:05:00,889 --> 00:05:02,790
You don't even need to be in the shower.
54
00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:05,449
All you need is $4.99.
55
00:05:09,129 --> 00:05:11,589
And a strong heart. Irish Scream,
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00:05:11,589 --> 00:05:16,360
the shampoo with the funny-looking
leprechaun on the bottle, and the heart warning.
57
00:05:40,329 --> 00:05:43,269
You think that Pokeballs can hold
Pokemon because they're airtight?
58
00:05:44,269 --> 00:05:45,860
Squirtle, I choose you!
59
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:52,720
You are my... That stench is horrible!
60
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:58,240
And that means no ventilation.
And no air fresheners either. Woo!
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00:05:58,639 --> 00:06:00,959
I have got to put some
air holes in that thing.
62
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:04,259
And that's something you
probably didn't need to know.
63
00:06:05,689 --> 00:06:08,790
They've suffered the heat,
been screamed at by their bosses.
64
00:06:09,110 --> 00:06:13,060
But tonight, we find out who
will be the next... Nobody move!
65
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,480
Everybody freeze! Don't move!
On the ground! On the ground!
66
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,860
This guy's wanted for burglary!
67
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,779
Cop Chef, the show where
we find out which chefs
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00:06:20,779 --> 00:06:23,319
have what it takes to
make it on the force.
69
00:06:23,899 --> 00:06:26,310
We know he's guilty, we
just can't find the proof.
70
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:28,430
Maybe he's cooking the books.
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00:06:30,310 --> 00:06:30,930
Ooh!
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00:06:32,550 --> 00:06:34,949
A show that tosses the rules like a salad.
73
00:06:37,449 --> 00:06:40,139
He get a hot tip? Nope. Left the oven on.
74
00:06:40,639 --> 00:06:43,620
And a show which gives bad
guys their just desserts.
75
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,019
Frank, don't!
76
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,990
We'll do this my way. Have a cupcake.
77
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:52,430
Copshaft! It's also a show that was
cancelled the day after it aired.
78
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:31,589
I got the shot. I can make it.
Don't do it. It's too risky.
79
00:07:32,029 --> 00:07:33,430
I know, but it's worth it.
80
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:43,939
There. I destroyed the
antenna that broadcasts Whitney.
81
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,100
This has been Real Life Heroes.
82
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,019
Want to have a pillow fight? Sure.
83
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,920
One, two, three, fight!
84
00:08:00,709 --> 00:08:05,709
Finally, with this robot, I, Lex Luthor,
will defeat Superman. Well, lookie here.
85
00:08:09,060 --> 00:08:11,379
Blast it off. None of my plans ever work.
86
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,839
Maybe you need someone with fresh ideas.
87
00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:17,060
Yes, that's it. I need
someone new, someone hip,
88
00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:19,519
someone with a
special, what do you call it?
89
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,319
An X-Factor?
90
00:08:21,519 --> 00:08:25,000
Yeah, like that, but different
because I don't want to get sued.
91
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:28,360
Welcome back to The Lex Factor,
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00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:32,000
the show where contestants
compete to see who can defeat Superman.
93
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:37,340
I'm Khloe Kardashian. Smile and
pause. Don't read that part out loud.
94
00:08:37,860 --> 00:08:41,240
Now to introduce our
judges. Point at judges.
95
00:08:41,779 --> 00:08:47,370
Lex Luthor, Demi
Lovato, and Britney Spears.
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00:08:48,169 --> 00:08:51,490
We are down to our two
finalists. So Demi, who've you got?
97
00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:55,470
I was judging the monster
category, and I found a great monster.
98
00:08:57,220 --> 00:09:03,110
Hey, I'm Mario Lopez, and this
looks a lot like my show. Ah!
99
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:07,909
You're such a weird, gross monster.
I'm sure you can beat up Superman.
100
00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:10,389
I agree. Doomsday is a strong choice.
101
00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:13,929
Doomsday? I'm at Khloe
Kardashian, that monster.
102
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:16,230
I'm not a contestant. I'm the host.
103
00:09:17,149 --> 00:09:18,549
Oh, no, the monster's angry.
104
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:21,870
It's my turn now. I was
judging the wizard category.
105
00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:24,789
Ooh, so you must have
picked someone like Black Adam.
106
00:09:25,370 --> 00:09:25,649
Huh?
107
00:09:26,289 --> 00:09:27,750
Oh, I guess that could have worked.
108
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:33,120
I picked Gargamel. Yes, hello,
it's me, Gargamel, your favorite.
109
00:09:36,029 --> 00:09:40,950
Look at his funny shoes. Are those
slippers? I can't even tell. He's the best.
110
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:45,809
So Gargamel, tell me again how
you expect to meet Superman?
111
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:49,200
Well, if this Superman is
anything like this Superman here,
112
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,620
I'm going to scare him with my cat.
113
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,490
Then step on his tiny house.
114
00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:59,450
Now, I don't want to say anything
rude, but, well, I will sing this.
115
00:10:00,149 --> 00:10:03,389
He's a dope and he's gonna die.
116
00:10:03,909 --> 00:10:08,350
Well, it's up to the audience at home to
decide who's a dope and who's going to die.
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00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:11,929
The call-in votes have
been counted, and the winner
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00:10:11,929 --> 00:10:14,129
is, pause for dramatic effect, Gargamel!
119
00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:14,580
What?
120
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,919
How is that possible? We did it!
121
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:22,820
Gargamel's going to get his butt
whooped by Superman! U.S. Smurf! U.S. Smurf!
122
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:27,259
Well, a deal's a deal.
Gargamel, let's go fight Superman.
123
00:10:27,279 --> 00:10:34,019
All right, I'm gonna step on
him. Warming up my stepping foot.
124
00:10:34,539 --> 00:10:36,480
Oh, boy, is he gonna get stepped on.
125
00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:43,769
This is definitely not an accurate
depiction of him. Get him, Azrael! Take that!
126
00:10:47,009 --> 00:10:48,820
I still say we should have
used that Chloe monster.
127
00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:52,659
I'm right here. Oh, I see you, monster.10265
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