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- I'll be in later to pick up my check!
2
00:02:49,059 --> 00:02:51,180
You're listening
to "The Bob and Bob Show."
3
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:52,239
I'm Bob.
4
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,072
And I'm Bob.
5
00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:55,620
And we're on
with the world famous sex
6
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:58,197
and relationship psychologist Dr. Bob.
7
00:03:00,155 --> 00:03:02,513
So what did you
think of that last call?
8
00:03:02,513 --> 00:03:03,590
Well, she is just
9
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:06,059
a little confused.
- She's a freak!
10
00:03:07,392 --> 00:03:08,225
Aloha, Eddie.
11
00:03:08,225 --> 00:03:09,680
- Hey!
- Let's take a call.
12
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,620
Line one, we have a patient of Dr. Bob's,
13
00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:13,300
Threesome, on her cellphone.
14
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:14,220
Threesome?
15
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:15,053
Yeah, It's me.
16
00:03:15,053 --> 00:03:17,520
I'm sorry, did you
say she's a patient of mine?
17
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,286
Threesome, do you know Dr. Bob?
18
00:03:20,286 --> 00:03:22,620
Yeah,
yeah, I see him weekly.
19
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,770
You do?
20
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,680
Yeah, Wednesdays, 3:00 p.m.
21
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,120
You really
shouldn't be calling me here.
22
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,530
It wouldn't be ethical for us
23
00:03:28,530 --> 00:03:30,680
to discuss our private
sessions on the radio.
24
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,800
Hang up now.
- No, no, no, no, no.
25
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,860
Don't hang up.
26
00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:34,900
I wanna hear this.
27
00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:36,890
Listen, caller,
we shouldn't do this.
28
00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:38,430
We can talk Wednesday.
29
00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:39,720
I don't want you saying anything
30
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,970
that could jeopardize
your privacy, so hang up.
31
00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:43,480
No, no, it
can't wait till Wednesday.
32
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,860
Please, we need to talk now.
33
00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:48,220
Yeah, listen to
her now, she needs help now.
34
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:49,790
Besides, I'm sure Threesome
35
00:03:49,790 --> 00:03:51,490
isn't her real name, is it?
36
00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:52,480
Of course it's not my name.
37
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:53,546
Hello, it's Jen-
38
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,270
Did we bleep that?
39
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,720
Okay, okay, we bleeped that.
40
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,210
Listen, sweetie, don't use your real name.
41
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:03,000
Okay, so tell us, what's up?
42
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,100
Well, I'm
calling because, last night,
43
00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:06,333
we had this threesome.
44
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,830
We did? Wow,
I don't remember that.
45
00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:10,380
Do you, Bob?
46
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,830
- That chick sounds familiar.
47
00:04:13,364 --> 00:04:14,434
- It's your mother.
48
00:04:14,434 --> 00:04:15,267
- Nah, is it?
49
00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:17,910
Sorry, no, it
was me, my ex, and a friend.
50
00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:19,753
- Nah, my parents are still married.
51
00:04:21,415 --> 00:04:22,703
- Is that right?
52
00:04:22,703 --> 00:04:24,467
- That's right!
53
00:04:24,467 --> 00:04:27,570
So it's you, a
guy, and another chick?
54
00:04:27,570 --> 00:04:29,840
- Yeah.
- How far did you go?
55
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:30,703
What do you mean?
56
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:33,060
What my partner
is trying to say is,
57
00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,770
were you munching on grindage or what?
58
00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:37,730
Yeah, did you find
the little man in the boat?
59
00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:39,730
Um, yeah.
60
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:41,990
So, how was it?
61
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,112
Well, everything was great.
62
00:04:44,112 --> 00:04:46,570
Okay, here's the thing, my
ex and I had been together
63
00:04:46,570 --> 00:04:48,220
for two years and he dumps me.
64
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:49,960
He says he doesn't wanna be strapped down.
65
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,130
He wants to be able to explore
and to sow his wild oats.
66
00:04:53,130 --> 00:04:55,080
And what's wrong with that?
67
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,640
Nothing's wrong with that.
68
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,750
I ask him why can't he do it with me,
69
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:00,950
and he's like, "You don't wanna do that."
70
00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:02,470
You know, whatever, he
just wants to be like
71
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,183
his best friend and play around.
72
00:05:04,183 --> 00:05:06,240
And what's the
situation with his friend?
73
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,380
He's a good
guy. He's just a total player.
74
00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:10,740
He nails everything in
sight, and my ex envies him,
75
00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:12,378
which I think is ridiculous.
76
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:13,413
All right,
what's this have to do
77
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,930
with the sex, the threesome?
78
00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:16,610
Let's get back to the juice.
79
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:18,560
Okay, well,
I figured I would show him
80
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,730
that he could have a good time with me.
81
00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,310
So I set up this threesome,
82
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:25,340
hoping he would see he can
explore his wild oats with me
83
00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:27,647
and we could have lots of fun together.
84
00:05:27,647 --> 00:05:29,050
And what happened?
85
00:05:29,050 --> 00:05:31,410
She munched on grindage.
86
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:32,243
No. How-
87
00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:41,610
- Hola, Senor Da-Veed.
88
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:43,112
Aloha, Zachary.
89
00:05:43,112 --> 00:05:43,945
- Hey!
90
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,520
Hey, I'm standing outside.
91
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,160
You were suppose to open 20 minutes ago,
92
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,640
but the door is locked.
93
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,060
Is anybody there?
94
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:55,480
Hello?
95
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,313
Are you there?
96
00:05:57,406 --> 00:05:59,060
Yeah, I wanna buy a cue stick.
97
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:00,320
It's been 37 minutes.
98
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,380
If you're there, open the door.
99
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:03,990
Hello?
100
00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:04,823
Are you there?
101
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:07,030
I've been standing here
for over a fucking hour.
102
00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:08,580
Screw you fucking bastards!
103
00:06:08,580 --> 00:06:10,103
I don't need a cue stick that bad!
104
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,770
Are you guys there yet?
105
00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:13,603
Hello?
106
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:15,900
Fuck you!
107
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:19,000
- Eat me.
108
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,150
- I thought you were
gonna stop being late.
109
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,870
- This time, I had a good excuse.
110
00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:27,401
- Oh, that's right,
you had that threesome.
111
00:06:27,401 --> 00:06:28,234
- How did you know?
112
00:06:28,234 --> 00:06:30,380
- It's the power of Hef, man.
113
00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,890
He's channeled in me.
114
00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:32,980
I know things.
115
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:36,400
- Anyway, after you left the bar,
116
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,723
we went back to Tara's
place, check out her new spa.
117
00:06:38,723 --> 00:06:40,230
- Tara's got a spa?
118
00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:43,220
- We head into the house, the
girls go into Tara's room,
119
00:06:43,220 --> 00:06:45,530
I plop down on the
couch, flick on the tube.
120
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,740
So I'm flipping stations
121
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,393
and they're in the bedroom
giggling, so whatever.
122
00:06:50,690 --> 00:06:53,290
I'm watching Dave's Top 10 List,
123
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,380
and then they come out-
- What was it about?
124
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:56,811
- What?
- The Top 10 List,
125
00:06:56,811 --> 00:06:58,112
what was it?
126
00:06:58,112 --> 00:07:00,220
- I don't know, why does it matter?
127
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:04,100
Anyway, they come out of the bedroom,
128
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:07,060
naked, just holding towels,
129
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,830
heading for the backyard,
130
00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:11,980
and Jennifer's like, "Are you coming?"
131
00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:15,000
So I'm off the couch, racing towards them.
132
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,280
And then they get in the spa
133
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,140
and I'm just standing there, shocked.
134
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,280
- What were you waiting for?
135
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,330
A written invitation?
136
00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:24,650
- Really! No, I don't know.
137
00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:26,550
I just wasn't sure if it was for real.
138
00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:32,300
So, then Tara reaches into her towel,
139
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:35,677
pulls out a baggy of
X, and Jennifer's like,
140
00:07:35,677 --> 00:07:38,377
"Go ahead, it'll make you feel better."
141
00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:41,033
- Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
142
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:46,080
Our little Jen Jen is
telling you to drop X?
143
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,833
- Tell me about it, she
gets so wicked around Tara.
144
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,590
- Dropping X with naked hotties.
145
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:54,770
Life doesn't get much better than that.
146
00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:57,380
- So I strip, jump in,
147
00:07:57,380 --> 00:08:01,563
the next thing I know, we're fucking.
148
00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:06,997
- What do you mean by "fucking"?
149
00:08:08,590 --> 00:08:10,410
- What do you mean what do I mean?
150
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:11,570
We had sex.
151
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:12,620
We did the nasty.
152
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:14,400
You know, humped, bumped, and nailed?
153
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,800
Nookie nookie?
154
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:17,890
We did all sorts of stuff.
155
00:08:17,890 --> 00:08:21,773
I can't remember how it
all went, but it was hot.
156
00:09:01,076 --> 00:09:02,420
- Well, okay, what happened?
157
00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:05,170
You know, were the girls
munching on grindage?
158
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,003
- Oh, yeah.
159
00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:09,063
- Jennifer let you fuck Tara.
160
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:14,163
You fucked Tara!
161
00:09:15,490 --> 00:09:17,963
Yeah.
162
00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,337
- So, okay, what happened next?!
163
00:09:27,610 --> 00:09:29,223
- We went to sleep.
164
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:43,840
- Jen and Tara.
165
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,240
- Can you believe it?
- No.
166
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,702
I could've had her, just didn't want it.
167
00:10:18,586 --> 00:10:19,882
- Is that right?
168
00:10:19,882 --> 00:10:21,467
That's right!
169
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:22,519
- Morning.
170
00:10:22,519 --> 00:10:24,529
Hola, Senorita Jennifer.
171
00:10:24,529 --> 00:10:25,604
Aloha.
172
00:10:25,604 --> 00:10:27,390
- I got you your triple cream.
173
00:10:27,390 --> 00:10:29,400
Thanks, I didn't
have time to pick it up.
174
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,050
- Ooh, triple cream.
175
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:31,950
That's great.
176
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,183
It's very fitting.
177
00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:36,190
What do you mean?
178
00:10:36,190 --> 00:10:38,250
- Oh, you know, it's just you
two and your coffee, you know,
179
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:40,340
whatever happened to just straight coffee?
180
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,820
Just straight, black coffee.
181
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,350
Everybody's gotta drink this nasty-ass,
182
00:10:45,350 --> 00:10:48,140
trendy-ass Starfucks shit.
183
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:49,430
- Yo, dip, you flush?
184
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:50,963
- I ain't no dipshit.
185
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:57,350
- So, David, how was your,
oh, excuse me, Da-Veed,
186
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:58,960
how was your night last
night?
187
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,260
Not as good as yours.
188
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:04,190
- So tell us about your night, Da-Veed.
189
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:05,450
- What's Da-Vee?
190
00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:06,860
- It's Da-Veed.
191
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:08,560
- Last night, David
tells this girl at a bar
192
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,810
that his name is Da-Veed,
193
00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:11,670
so she's like, Da-Veed
this and Da-Veed that.
194
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,447
So we're all calling
him Da-Veed all night.
195
00:11:13,447 --> 00:11:16,143
- "Mm, I see," said the man with the saw.
196
00:11:17,237 --> 00:11:18,820
- What?
197
00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:20,640
- You're such a dip.
198
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,550
If you're gonna steal
someone else's lines,
199
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,170
at least get them right.
200
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:26,190
It's "'I see,' said the blind man
201
00:11:26,190 --> 00:11:28,550
as he picks up the hammer and saw."
202
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:29,817
- Is that right?
203
00:11:29,817 --> 00:11:31,140
That's right!
204
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:33,500
- Ugh, you guys and your
stupid catchphrases.
205
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,710
- Actually, it's Da-Veed's
stupid catchphrase.
206
00:11:35,710 --> 00:11:38,800
- Okay, enough with the Da-Veed shit.
207
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:42,190
I did not tell her my name was Da-Veed.
208
00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:46,650
She misheard it, she liked
it, thought it was unique.
209
00:11:46,650 --> 00:11:49,330
So I said to myself,
"Hey, what would Hef do?"
210
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:52,963
Hef would let her think
what she wanted, so I did.
211
00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:57,040
- Stupid catchphrases and
a Playboy fascination.
212
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,470
I'll tell you what Hef wouldn't do:
213
00:11:58,470 --> 00:12:00,820
Hef would not be called Da-Veed.
214
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,968
- Very true.
- Thank you.
215
00:12:02,968 --> 00:12:04,240
I gotta get going.
216
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,373
You got my invoices?
217
00:12:06,428 --> 00:12:09,060
- Whiteman's first, then
you got a repair at Small's,
218
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:10,760
and a re-level at Johnson's.
219
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,810
- Ah, the good doctor.
220
00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:15,120
He was on the radio this morning.
221
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,180
- Really?
222
00:12:16,180 --> 00:12:20,490
- Dude, we're doing white
man's small johnson today.
223
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,403
You get it? White man's small johnson?
224
00:12:23,770 --> 00:12:24,603
- Yeah.
225
00:12:25,590 --> 00:12:27,563
- Top 10 ways you know a movie sucks.
226
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:29,640
- Oh, what was number one?
227
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,445
- If it was made with a camcorder.
228
00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:33,633
- I've got a camcorder.
229
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,273
- How you doing?
230
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,510
Can help you with anything?
231
00:13:00,290 --> 00:13:02,820
Okay, well, holler if
you have any questions.
232
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:03,820
- I need some chalk.
233
00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:07,743
- Sure, right over here.
234
00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:15,970
Half dozen is $3.95, dozen is $4.95.
235
00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:17,090
- Can I get six?
236
00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:18,990
- It's only a dollar more for a dozen.
237
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,033
Okay.
238
00:13:30,606 --> 00:13:31,990
$4.28
239
00:13:31,990 --> 00:13:33,593
- You said $3.95.
240
00:13:33,593 --> 00:13:35,640
- It's $4.28 with tax.
241
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,560
There's tax on chalk?
242
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:38,393
- Yeah.
243
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:55,533
Dip.
244
00:13:57,910 --> 00:13:58,880
- Hey.
245
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,284
You told them.
246
00:14:00,284 --> 00:14:03,000
- What?
- You told David and Eddie.
247
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,150
- I told David.
248
00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:05,910
- You're here for what, like five minutes
249
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:07,450
and you're already rushing to tell David?
250
00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:08,607
What, did you just run in here and say,
251
00:14:08,607 --> 00:14:10,210
"Oh, David, oh, David, God of mine,
252
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,200
guess what I did last night?"
253
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,830
- Okay, this is my point.
254
00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:14,570
This is why I broke up with you.
255
00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:16,113
If last night had happened
with anybody else,
256
00:14:16,113 --> 00:14:18,440
then there wouldn't be any
problem with me telling David,
257
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,050
but because it's with you,
you're screaming at me.
258
00:14:21,050 --> 00:14:22,610
And David is not God.
259
00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:23,890
He's just David.
260
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:26,310
Besides, you're one to talk,
the way you worship Tara.
261
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:27,530
- What?
- Oh, please!
262
00:14:27,530 --> 00:14:29,040
Put down the crack pipe.
263
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,410
Whenever she's around,
you turn into a freak.
264
00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:32,910
It's like you're a wannabe.
265
00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:36,130
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, a poser.
266
00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:37,450
- Fuck you!
- Poser.
267
00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:39,400
- Piss off!
- You piss off.
268
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,233
Poser.
269
00:14:41,690 --> 00:14:42,523
Unbelievable.
270
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:44,763
How you doing?
271
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,320
- Fine, and you?
272
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,210
- Great. Anything I can
help you with today?
273
00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:51,363
- Is Jennifer here?
274
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,823
- Sure, let me get her.
275
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:55,710
- Steve!
276
00:14:55,710 --> 00:14:57,800
I thought that sounded like you.
277
00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,266
Hi.
- Hey.
278
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,710
- It's so great to see you.
279
00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:02,527
How are you doing?
- I'm doing fine.
280
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,517
And you?
281
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,870
- Oh, I'm sorry.
282
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:08,740
Zack, this is my friend Steve.
283
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:11,750
Steve this is my boy, my boss, Zack.
284
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,160
- Your boss?
285
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,840
It's good to meet you.
286
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,560
Think I'm more than that.
287
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,998
- I'm sorry, my friend Steve.
288
00:15:20,026 --> 00:15:20,859
I mean, Zack.
289
00:15:20,859 --> 00:15:22,670
I'm sorry, my friend Zack.
290
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:24,050
So what brings you down here?
291
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:25,220
- Well, I was just in the area,
292
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:27,307
so I thought I'd stopped by to see you.
293
00:15:27,307 --> 00:15:29,433
Oh, how sweet.
294
00:15:29,433 --> 00:15:32,620
- You know, I had a really
great time this weekend.
295
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,280
- Yeah, it was a fun.
296
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,700
- Well, I can see I'm not needed here.
297
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:38,163
I'll just be over there.
298
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,980
- So I was wondering if I could
299
00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:43,730
take you up on that lunch offer.
300
00:15:43,730 --> 00:15:44,563
- Lunch?
301
00:15:44,563 --> 00:15:45,580
- Yeah.
302
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:47,130
- Yeah, lunch sounds great.
303
00:15:47,130 --> 00:15:48,329
How about 12:30?
304
00:15:48,329 --> 00:15:49,530
Is that good?
- 12:30's great.
305
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,440
I have an appointment to show at 11:30,
306
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,159
so I'll stop back by.
307
00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:53,992
- Okay.
308
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,760
- Well, I can see you
have a lot of work to do,
309
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,664
so I'll see you at 12:30.
310
00:16:00,664 --> 00:16:02,300
- Bye.
311
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:03,150
Who's he?
312
00:16:03,150 --> 00:16:04,350
Steve's a friend.
313
00:16:04,350 --> 00:16:07,305
Yeah? You went
out with him last weekend?
314
00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:09,428
- Zachary, are we jealous?
315
00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:10,490
- No, not at all.
316
00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:11,900
- Sounds to me like you're jealous.
317
00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:13,740
- Well, I'm not.
318
00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:15,893
Just still mad at you.
319
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:19,660
- You know what?
320
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,298
- What?
321
00:16:21,298 --> 00:16:22,540
- I'm sorry.
322
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:24,060
I blew earlier out of proportion.
323
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,020
I shouldn't have gotten mad
at you for telling David.
324
00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,835
- That's right you shouldn't have.
325
00:16:27,835 --> 00:16:28,668
- Stop.
326
00:16:30,550 --> 00:16:32,641
Why is your shirt is so tight?
327
00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:35,010
- Oh. Well, this morning,
it was all I could find.
328
00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:36,873
I think it's either yours or Tara's.
329
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,830
- Oh. I thought mine was a little big.
330
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,010
All right, take it off.
331
00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:44,380
- Yeah, baby, yeah.
332
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,503
- Please, dream on.
333
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:48,651
You know, I thought that this morning
334
00:16:48,651 --> 00:16:50,978
would just be a little different.
335
00:16:50,978 --> 00:16:51,811
- How so?
336
00:16:52,815 --> 00:16:53,833
- Well, I thought you would see
337
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:57,348
that you could have fun last
night and have it with me.
338
00:16:58,861 --> 00:17:00,520
- Jen Jen.
339
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,020
- What?
340
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,850
Why can't we just get back together?
341
00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:05,340
- Jen.
342
00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:06,330
- What?
343
00:17:06,330 --> 00:17:07,980
We're so good together.
We're great together.
344
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:08,823
So why?
345
00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:12,093
- Because we just can't.
346
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,670
- Don't you love me?
- It's not that, it's just...
347
00:17:17,655 --> 00:17:19,120
We just can't.
348
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,730
- What, is it so that
you can fuck other girls?
349
00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:22,770
Didn't I prove to you last
night that you can do that
350
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:24,310
and you can do it with me?
351
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,210
- For Christ's sake!
352
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:28,430
- You know what, here, it's fine!
353
00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:29,480
It doesn't matter anyway
354
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,920
because there are plenty
of other guys out there.
355
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,760
- What, like Steve?
356
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,260
Yeah, like Steve!
357
00:17:49,239 --> 00:17:51,997
- Well, here are your four cues.
358
00:17:51,997 --> 00:17:52,847
- They're so big.
359
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,673
- They sure are.
360
00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:58,960
And here are your balls.
361
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,293
- Sticks and balls, what a great game.
362
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:05,400
- Well, we should be going.
363
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,483
You know, got the next table and all.
364
00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:14,170
- Yeah, yeah, we gotta go.
365
00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:16,823
Hey, listen, I'm Zack,
366
00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:21,223
call me if you need anything.
367
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:24,463
Thank you, Zack.
368
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,010
- It's a solid maple core
with graphite laid over it.
369
00:18:36,892 --> 00:18:40,915
It has a French leather
13-millimeter tip and velvet grip.
370
00:18:40,915 --> 00:18:42,050
- How well do they play?
371
00:18:42,050 --> 00:18:44,450
- Oh, they play great.
They're nice, solid cues.
372
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:47,250
- They really are.
373
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,273
I, myself, use them.
374
00:18:49,310 --> 00:18:52,180
- Oh, my god, you're Tara Jackson, right?
375
00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:53,520
- In the flesh.
376
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,130
- I saw you last night.
377
00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:56,340
- You did?
378
00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:58,640
- Yeah, I was watching the sports channel.
379
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,969
You were playing a match
against that spider chick.
380
00:19:01,969 --> 00:19:04,560
Yeah, wow, that was a close game.
381
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,240
I thought she had you
with the one/nine combo,
382
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,003
but somehow she blew it, you
came in and ran the table.
383
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:11,420
Wow.
384
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:12,780
What a run.
385
00:19:12,780 --> 00:19:14,290
You were great.
386
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:15,710
- I try.
387
00:19:15,710 --> 00:19:17,880
- Yeah, and you won a grip of money too.
388
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,810
- Oh. It all went to charity.
389
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:23,240
- That's right. You were
playing for some church.
390
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,090
- The Mormon Orphaned
Outreach Children's House.
391
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:28,170
- So you don't get to
keep any of the money?
392
00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:31,720
- Not that match, anyway,
but some matches I do.
393
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,250
Well, that's cool.
394
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:34,850
- Yeah, I do it for the kiddies.
395
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,713
- Yeah, so what brings you here?
396
00:19:38,713 --> 00:19:40,160
- I work here.
397
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,440
- Really?
398
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,000
I mean, I would have thought that pool
399
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,740
was a pretty good paying gig,
400
00:19:45,740 --> 00:19:48,817
but I guess with the charity and all...
401
00:19:48,817 --> 00:19:50,993
- "Give till it hurts," my mama says.
402
00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:53,990
You know, besides, I just love the game
403
00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:56,060
and this place gives me
something to do all day
404
00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:57,560
and still be around billiards.
405
00:19:58,650 --> 00:19:59,720
- That's cool.
406
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,000
So you really use these cues?
407
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:02,833
- Oh, I sure do.
408
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:06,423
- Great, then I'll take it.
409
00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:09,300
- Great. Will you be needing
a cue case with that?
410
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:11,410
- Oh. Can she help me?
411
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:14,500
- Actually, today's my day off.
412
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,030
- Oh.
413
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:17,280
- So you want a cue case?
414
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,069
- Nah, just the cue.
415
00:20:20,069 --> 00:20:23,560
- Okay, then.
416
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:24,393
- Okay.
417
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,680
Okay, you got it.
418
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:28,513
Thanks.
419
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:34,340
What's up with Mooch?
420
00:20:34,340 --> 00:20:35,300
- What?
421
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,500
- Mooch.
422
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:39,140
Mormon Orphaned Outreach Children's House?
423
00:20:39,140 --> 00:20:40,044
What's up with that?
424
00:20:40,044 --> 00:20:41,420
- Oh.
425
00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:44,530
The Players Association
wanted to build my image
426
00:20:44,530 --> 00:20:47,510
into a more family-friendly one.
427
00:20:47,510 --> 00:20:49,030
- Mormon? Why Mormon?
428
00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:51,740
What are they trying to do,
up your ratings in Utah?
429
00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:53,080
- Shut up. I chose Mormon.
430
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:53,913
- Why?
431
00:20:55,070 --> 00:20:57,003
- Duh, I'm Mormon.
432
00:20:58,400 --> 00:20:59,263
- You're Mormon?
433
00:21:01,230 --> 00:21:02,610
- What's wrong with that?
434
00:21:02,610 --> 00:21:06,780
- Well, nothing, except you're
not Mormon, not even close.
435
00:21:06,780 --> 00:21:08,977
Hell, I'm closer to it
than you and I'm Jewish.
436
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:10,790
- Tell me about it.
437
00:21:12,529 --> 00:21:14,810
At least it scores points with my mommy.
438
00:21:14,810 --> 00:21:17,620
Helping out the Latter-day Saints and all.
439
00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:19,760
- What's wrong with
the present-day saints?
440
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,360
- Nothing, but they don't
have a children's charity.
441
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,290
- The Mormon Orphaned
Outreach Children's House?
442
00:21:28,290 --> 00:21:30,230
- Uh, that's Mooch for short.
443
00:21:30,230 --> 00:21:32,990
It's to boost her image
and up her ratings in Utah.
444
00:21:32,990 --> 00:21:34,445
- Don't forget, to please my mommy.
445
00:21:35,490 --> 00:21:37,377
You're Mormon?
446
00:21:37,377 --> 00:21:39,870
- Didn't we already go through this?
447
00:21:39,870 --> 00:21:41,633
Oh, oh, and more importantly,
448
00:21:42,550 --> 00:21:45,360
why'd you guys sneak
out on me this morning?
449
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:46,810
- Don't look at me, she was already gone
450
00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:47,750
by the time I woke up.
451
00:21:47,750 --> 00:21:50,170
- Me? I just didn't want
to disturb your sleep.
452
00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:51,660
- Oh, please.
453
00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:53,250
You guys are full of it.
454
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:56,350
I wake up this morning and see
you in my room crouched over,
455
00:21:56,350 --> 00:21:58,360
covering your winkie with a shirt.
456
00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:02,733
- Oh, we have a customer.
457
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:07,370
- "Winkie"?!
458
00:22:07,370 --> 00:22:08,840
How you doing?
459
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:09,840
- Fine.
460
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,120
- Anything I can help you with?
461
00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,763
- Yeah, you guys got cue sticks?
462
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,043
- Sure do.
463
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,020
- Where are they?
464
00:22:20,390 --> 00:22:21,223
- Right there.
465
00:22:33,407 --> 00:22:34,730
You wanna shoot some pool?
466
00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:36,000
Yeah, sure.
467
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:36,858
- Rack 'em.
468
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,033
Heard Dr. Bob on the radio today.
469
00:22:48,090 --> 00:22:49,223
- Oh, is that right?
470
00:22:49,223 --> 00:22:50,590
- That's right.
471
00:22:50,590 --> 00:22:53,170
- Yeah, David said something about that.
472
00:22:53,170 --> 00:22:54,003
- Oh, you didn't hear it?
473
00:22:54,003 --> 00:22:55,600
No. Why, what happened?
474
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:56,933
- Oh, it was a great show.
475
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:59,970
This girl calls in to get advice
on how to get her ex back.
476
00:22:59,970 --> 00:23:02,480
You know, she loves him,
does everything for him,
477
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:07,410
but he's a typical male asshole
478
00:23:07,410 --> 00:23:11,140
who doesn't care and just wants to bang
479
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:11,973
every living creature.
480
00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:13,443
- Hmm, I know the type.
481
00:23:18,070 --> 00:23:19,340
- Excuse me.
482
00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:20,173
Sure.
483
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,560
- Are you guys hiring?
484
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:24,393
- What?
485
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,360
- Are you guys hiring?
486
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:28,600
- I heard you the first time,
487
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,980
but I thought you wanted
to buy a cue stick.
488
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:32,840
- Oh, yeah, I do.
489
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,240
One/seven, corner pocket.
490
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,523
- I just thought this would
be a cool place to work.
491
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,309
- Oh.
492
00:23:39,309 --> 00:23:40,720
No, we're not hiring.
493
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,616
- Cool. Could you fill this out for me?
494
00:23:42,616 --> 00:23:43,449
- What's that?
495
00:23:43,449 --> 00:23:44,500
- Unemployment needs it filled out
496
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:46,647
to prove I'm looking for work.
497
00:23:46,647 --> 00:23:48,290
- What?
498
00:23:48,290 --> 00:23:51,413
- Unemployment makes me go
around and have this signed,
499
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,620
so could you fill it out, sign it?
500
00:23:56,620 --> 00:24:00,470
- Corner pocket.
- No, but here's a pen.
501
00:24:00,470 --> 00:24:01,433
You can do it.
502
00:24:05,339 --> 00:24:07,511
Nine in the side pocket.
503
00:24:08,344 --> 00:24:09,177
Oops.
504
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,330
- Anyway, so what happened
on the radio show?
505
00:24:14,330 --> 00:24:15,530
- Oh, it was just funny.
506
00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:19,933
This girl just spills her
guts on national radio.
507
00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:22,630
You know, dragging all
her friends into it,
508
00:24:22,630 --> 00:24:24,403
naming names, implicating people.
509
00:24:25,970 --> 00:24:27,135
It was so "Springer."
510
00:24:28,890 --> 00:24:29,723
- What's that?
511
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,600
- What's what?
512
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,433
- That.
513
00:24:34,270 --> 00:24:38,026
Well, that's Jesus and
his homies having some grub.
514
00:24:40,430 --> 00:24:42,320
- Why are they black?
515
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:43,990
- Inside pocket.
- Oh, don't tell me
516
00:24:43,990 --> 00:24:45,960
you're gonna go there.
517
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:46,793
- Where?
518
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,630
- You're not one of those are you?
519
00:24:50,630 --> 00:24:52,890
You can't tell me that in the year 33,
520
00:24:52,890 --> 00:24:54,370
there were a bunch of honkie hippies
521
00:24:54,370 --> 00:24:56,220
wandering around the desert.
522
00:24:56,220 --> 00:24:57,530
Hell no!
523
00:24:57,530 --> 00:24:59,503
Our Lord and savior is black.
524
00:25:02,330 --> 00:25:03,288
- What?
525
00:25:03,288 --> 00:25:07,020
The only problem is,
it's missing the 13th apostle.
526
00:25:07,020 --> 00:25:08,550
- What?
527
00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:10,740
- Rufus, the 13th apostle?
528
00:25:10,740 --> 00:25:13,240
Do you have something
against blacks and religion?
529
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,070
- No.
- That's the attitude.
530
00:25:15,070 --> 00:25:16,070
So you wanna buy it?
531
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,093
- Why? It's missing Rufus.
532
00:25:22,850 --> 00:25:25,253
Hey, you know where I can
find cheaper cue sicks?
533
00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:28,020
- Yeah, that's how we stay in business,
534
00:25:28,020 --> 00:25:29,823
we refer people to cheaper stores.
535
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,090
- Okay, where's there a cheaper store?
536
00:25:34,090 --> 00:25:35,720
- There isn't.
537
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,260
We're the cheapest.
538
00:25:37,260 --> 00:25:38,970
We're the cheapest in the world.
539
00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:41,548
God says so, and so does Rufus!
540
00:25:41,548 --> 00:25:42,381
- Oh!
541
00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:52,403
- Idiots.
542
00:25:59,870 --> 00:26:01,830
Okay, what
was that all about?
543
00:26:01,830 --> 00:26:02,880
What?
544
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,647
You don't
even believe in God.
545
00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:05,480
So?
546
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,350
- So you just chased that
customer out of here.
547
00:26:07,350 --> 00:26:08,760
- Guy was a dip.
548
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,630
Dips have money too, hon.
549
00:26:10,630 --> 00:26:12,770
- That guy didn't even have a job.
550
00:26:12,770 --> 00:26:14,710
- Had an unemployment check.
551
00:26:14,710 --> 00:26:16,830
- True, but he wasn't gonna spend it here.
552
00:26:16,830 --> 00:26:17,663
- Maybe not.
553
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,030
Still, who elected you high priest?
554
00:26:21,030 --> 00:26:23,970
- Please. If there was
a god, he'd be black.
555
00:26:23,970 --> 00:26:25,038
- You mean she.
556
00:26:25,940 --> 00:26:26,773
- Whatever.
557
00:26:28,810 --> 00:26:30,440
- Hey, do you have any more gum?
558
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,503
- No, just this one.
559
00:26:36,884 --> 00:26:37,717
- Mm.
560
00:26:38,810 --> 00:26:39,643
Your shot.
561
00:26:40,860 --> 00:26:42,703
Three in the corner.
562
00:26:49,710 --> 00:26:52,244
- So, was that your first time?
563
00:26:52,244 --> 00:26:53,560
- No, I've made that shot before.
564
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,540
- No, no, no. I mean, last night.
565
00:26:56,540 --> 00:26:58,660
- Oh. No, I've had sex before too.
566
00:26:58,660 --> 00:26:59,500
- No. No, no.
567
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:02,293
I mean, your first threesome.
568
00:27:03,130 --> 00:27:04,660
Oh.
569
00:27:04,660 --> 00:27:06,360
No, I've done that before too.
570
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,180
Hello.
571
00:27:08,180 --> 00:27:09,120
Two in the side.
572
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:09,953
How you doing?
573
00:27:09,953 --> 00:27:10,786
- I'm good.
574
00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:12,923
Hello, ladies.
575
00:27:12,923 --> 00:27:14,173
Hi, Brian.
576
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,720
- You're a lucky man to
work with two lovely ladies.
577
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,560
- Oh, please, like you
drivers don't end up
578
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:22,970
in all sorts of situations.
579
00:27:22,970 --> 00:27:24,050
- That we do.
580
00:27:24,050 --> 00:27:25,233
That we definitely do.
581
00:27:30,469 --> 00:27:33,700
- At my last job, I had
sex with a delivery driver.
582
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:34,533
- What?
583
00:27:35,740 --> 00:27:37,010
- Yeah.
584
00:27:37,010 --> 00:27:37,990
He was making a delivery
585
00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:40,340
and I pulled him in the
bathroom and we did it.
586
00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:43,924
- How long had you known him?
587
00:27:43,924 --> 00:27:45,243
- About a week.
588
00:27:47,070 --> 00:27:48,490
- Wow.
589
00:27:48,490 --> 00:27:50,913
Was it the uniform that made you so hot?
590
00:27:51,887 --> 00:27:53,493
- Yeah, he was so cute in it.
591
00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:58,463
Note to self: Get a uniform.
592
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,450
So let me get this straight,
593
00:28:01,450 --> 00:28:03,090
the guy was just making a delivery
594
00:28:03,090 --> 00:28:05,490
and you took him in the
bathroom and nailed him?
595
00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:08,030
- Pretty much.
596
00:28:08,030 --> 00:28:09,820
That's not the half of it.
597
00:28:09,820 --> 00:28:10,653
- What's the full of it?
598
00:28:10,653 --> 00:28:12,640
- I don't even wanna know.
599
00:28:15,509 --> 00:28:16,342
- Well, that's it with that,
600
00:28:16,342 --> 00:28:17,930
I just mean there's other stuff.
601
00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:18,840
- Other stuff?
602
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,130
Okay, so what's the worst,
603
00:28:21,130 --> 00:28:23,083
best, craziest, most interesting thing?
604
00:28:24,260 --> 00:28:25,550
- Most interesting...
605
00:28:29,630 --> 00:28:33,423
Once when I was shopping,
606
00:28:35,830 --> 00:28:39,533
I pulled a guy into a dressing
room with me and we made out.
607
00:28:41,780 --> 00:28:44,290
- Kissing? That's the most interesting?
608
00:28:44,290 --> 00:28:47,210
Well, actually, we
didn't kiss. I just blew him.
609
00:28:47,210 --> 00:28:49,253
- Well, caress my clit with sandpaper.
610
00:28:52,660 --> 00:28:53,493
What?
611
00:28:56,780 --> 00:28:58,463
- Really? A blowjob?
612
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,690
Note to self: Go shopping
with Tara in uniform.
613
00:29:07,620 --> 00:29:09,093
So what else happened?
614
00:29:10,510 --> 00:29:12,520
- Well, there are the orgies.
615
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,120
- Okay, this I gotta hear.
616
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,130
- What was it? When did it happen?
617
00:29:16,130 --> 00:29:17,830
How many people? Who was involved?
618
00:29:20,580 --> 00:29:24,110
- It happened, I guess
it was about a month
619
00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:25,630
after I started here.
620
00:29:25,630 --> 00:29:26,910
- How many people?
621
00:29:26,910 --> 00:29:27,820
- Four.
622
00:29:27,820 --> 00:29:29,427
You plus four?
623
00:29:29,427 --> 00:29:32,063
- Yeah, me, another girl, and two guys.
624
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,250
- Ah, okay, so the guy was a
guy you were going out with,
625
00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:37,670
or did you just pick him up?
626
00:29:37,670 --> 00:29:38,770
- No, he was a friend.
627
00:29:39,770 --> 00:29:41,860
And the other
couple, your friends too?
628
00:29:41,860 --> 00:29:43,107
- Yeah, they're swingers.
629
00:29:43,107 --> 00:29:44,520
- Huh.
630
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:45,353
Wow.
631
00:29:46,230 --> 00:29:49,040
You just like to put smiles
on your friends faces, huh?
632
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,690
- Well, lots of my friends
got smiles on their faces.
633
00:29:53,550 --> 00:29:54,458
- Glad we're friends.
634
00:29:57,220 --> 00:29:59,540
You know, that's not really an orgy,
635
00:29:59,540 --> 00:30:01,260
that's more like group sex.
636
00:30:01,260 --> 00:30:03,970
When I think orgy, I think six or more.
637
00:30:03,970 --> 00:30:05,330
Four is group sex.
638
00:30:05,330 --> 00:30:07,153
- Six, yeah, I've done six.
639
00:30:07,153 --> 00:30:08,733
But that's the most.
640
00:30:09,990 --> 00:30:11,550
- Really?
641
00:30:11,550 --> 00:30:13,011
All couples?
642
00:30:13,011 --> 00:30:13,844
- No.
643
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:15,593
One girl.
644
00:30:17,450 --> 00:30:19,043
- You plus five guys?
645
00:30:20,060 --> 00:30:20,893
- Yeah.
646
00:30:23,460 --> 00:30:25,773
- That's not an orgy, that's a gangbang.
647
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,849
- Pretty much.
648
00:30:29,258 --> 00:30:30,808
It was the best I ever had too.
649
00:30:31,870 --> 00:30:36,053
One in each hole like Chinese
finger cuffs and a plus.
650
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,250
- I gotta start writing this stuff down.
651
00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:43,540
I could turn it into a movie.
652
00:30:43,540 --> 00:30:45,870
- Yeah, that's enough shower
nozzle masturbation material
653
00:30:45,870 --> 00:30:47,110
for at least a week.
654
00:30:47,110 --> 00:30:48,170
- Exactly.
655
00:30:48,170 --> 00:30:50,595
You should videotape this stuff.
656
00:30:50,595 --> 00:30:51,753
- All the time.
657
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:58,313
What?!
658
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,650
You guys act like that was the first time.
659
00:31:02,650 --> 00:31:05,380
You videotaped last night?
660
00:31:05,380 --> 00:31:06,670
Oh, please, the camera was,
661
00:31:06,670 --> 00:31:08,413
like, inches from your face.
662
00:31:16,430 --> 00:31:17,640
- Breaktime Billiards.
663
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:18,570
- Zack?
664
00:31:18,570 --> 00:31:19,720
Yeah.
665
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,380
- Hi, this is Mrs. Whiteman.
666
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:23,620
- Oh, hi, Mrs. Whiteman.
667
00:31:23,620 --> 00:31:24,720
What can I do for you?
668
00:31:25,610 --> 00:31:27,410
- You forgot to leave your balls here.
669
00:31:27,410 --> 00:31:30,400
- Are you sure? I can't
imagine we'd forget.
670
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,330
- Oh, you forgot.
671
00:31:32,330 --> 00:31:34,070
When can you bring them by?
672
00:31:34,070 --> 00:31:36,010
- Well, I can come now.
673
00:31:36,010 --> 00:31:36,843
- Can you?
674
00:31:38,032 --> 00:31:39,890
I look forward to seeing that.
675
00:31:39,890 --> 00:31:40,723
Okay.
676
00:31:44,830 --> 00:31:45,773
- Oh, Zack.
677
00:31:47,460 --> 00:31:49,010
- David forgot to leave a set of balls.
678
00:31:49,010 --> 00:31:50,360
I gotta take one over.
679
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:51,680
David did?
680
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,063
- Well, I'm sure it was Eddie, the dip.
681
00:32:01,070 --> 00:32:02,070
- So, you all right?
682
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:04,893
Yeah, I'm fine.
683
00:32:05,930 --> 00:32:08,040
- No, I mean about last
night. Is everything okay?
684
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:09,223
- Yeah, I guess.
685
00:32:11,230 --> 00:32:13,100
Are you mad at me?
686
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:13,950
- Why would I be?
687
00:32:16,290 --> 00:32:17,937
- You know, 'cause the whole me, Zack.
688
00:32:20,190 --> 00:32:21,320
- No.
689
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,133
I mean, it was kinda
different, but it was cool.
690
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:29,430
So you're not jealous?
691
00:32:29,430 --> 00:32:30,620
- No, not at all.
692
00:32:30,620 --> 00:32:33,070
I'm just not happy, but
it's not because of that.
693
00:32:34,334 --> 00:32:35,550
- If you were happy everyday of your life,
694
00:32:35,550 --> 00:32:37,490
you wouldn't be a woman.
695
00:32:37,490 --> 00:32:38,373
You'd be a man.
696
00:32:39,260 --> 00:32:40,980
That's true.
697
00:32:40,980 --> 00:32:42,350
- So why are you unhappy?
698
00:32:42,350 --> 00:32:44,230
- I just thought that
today would be different.
699
00:32:44,230 --> 00:32:45,410
I thought we'd get back together,
700
00:32:45,410 --> 00:32:47,720
but it's just the same, if not worse.
701
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,510
- Why is it worse?
702
00:32:49,510 --> 00:32:52,070
- I got mad at him for telling
David about last night.
703
00:32:52,070 --> 00:32:54,310
So he said, that's why
he can't explore with me,
704
00:32:54,310 --> 00:32:55,870
because if it happened with another girl,
705
00:32:55,870 --> 00:32:57,670
there'd be no problem telling David.
706
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:00,880
- He's got a point.
707
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,950
- I know he does, but I
still don't know what to do.
708
00:33:03,950 --> 00:33:08,053
- Look, Jen, you're a great girl.
709
00:33:09,300 --> 00:33:11,210
You're an awesome girl.
710
00:33:11,210 --> 00:33:12,750
How many chicks would actually arrange
711
00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:14,050
a threesome for their guy?
712
00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:16,960
Not many.
713
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:18,450
Not to mention all the
other incredible stuff
714
00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:19,720
you do for him.
715
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,480
If he can't see it, it's
his loss, not yours.
716
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:24,210
- I know, but I still
don't know what to do.
717
00:33:24,210 --> 00:33:26,113
- No buts, okay?
718
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,550
Zack is a great guy and
I'm sure he'll come around,
719
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:33,970
but if he doesn't, it's
his problem, not yours.
720
00:33:33,970 --> 00:33:36,430
You just need to go on about yourself,
721
00:33:36,430 --> 00:33:37,780
and if he does come around,
722
00:33:38,770 --> 00:33:41,343
you can decide whether
or not you want him back.
723
00:33:43,763 --> 00:33:45,225
# Girls girls #
724
00:33:45,225 --> 00:33:46,861
# Go girls girls #
725
00:33:46,861 --> 00:33:48,798
# It's what you wanna hear #
726
00:33:48,798 --> 00:33:51,038
# It's what you wanna hear right now #
727
00:33:51,038 --> 00:33:52,070
# Girls #
728
00:33:52,070 --> 00:33:54,403
# Go girls #
729
00:33:55,490 --> 00:33:57,680
Steve came by this morning.
730
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:58,660
- Who?
731
00:33:58,660 --> 00:33:59,493
- Steve.
732
00:34:00,620 --> 00:34:01,880
- Who's Steve?
733
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,630
- Steve, the guy I met at the park.
734
00:34:04,660 --> 00:34:05,510
I told you about him.
735
00:34:05,510 --> 00:34:08,140
He's the one who's lover
left him for his hairdresser.
736
00:34:08,140 --> 00:34:09,568
- Oh!
737
00:34:09,568 --> 00:34:11,090
The gay guy.
738
00:34:11,090 --> 00:34:11,923
- Yeah.
739
00:34:11,923 --> 00:34:12,756
Mm-hm.
740
00:34:14,710 --> 00:34:16,090
- So what'd he want?
741
00:34:16,090 --> 00:34:17,963
- He came by to take me to lunch.
742
00:34:19,230 --> 00:34:20,350
- So?
743
00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:22,350
- So Zack thinks that
Steve and I went out.
744
00:34:22,350 --> 00:34:23,480
He got all jealous.
745
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,575
It was very cute.
746
00:34:25,575 --> 00:34:26,925
- He doesn't know he's gay?
747
00:34:28,090 --> 00:34:30,890
- No, he doesn't act flam or
anything, he acts straight.
748
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,188
Hm.
749
00:34:33,188 --> 00:34:36,521
# The touch of my body #
750
00:34:42,282 --> 00:34:43,115
- Come in.
751
00:34:53,834 --> 00:34:58,220
# I will be the one who takes you higher #
752
00:34:58,220 --> 00:34:59,053
- Who are you?
753
00:35:00,550 --> 00:35:01,720
- I'm Zack.
754
00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:03,733
You asked me to bring out a set of balls?
755
00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:06,502
- I asked for Zack the installer.
756
00:35:06,502 --> 00:35:07,419
Where's he?
757
00:35:11,650 --> 00:35:12,483
- Oh.
758
00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:16,520
You talked to me on the phone.
759
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,763
David is out doing another job.
760
00:35:20,740 --> 00:35:21,573
- David?
761
00:35:22,746 --> 00:35:23,579
- Yeah.
762
00:35:25,110 --> 00:35:27,201
Where do you want me to leave the balls?
763
00:35:27,201 --> 00:35:29,003
# Want to touch me here #
764
00:35:29,003 --> 00:35:30,570
# Do you want to touch me #
765
00:35:30,570 --> 00:35:31,803
Right Here.
766
00:35:36,150 --> 00:35:37,213
- I gotta go.
767
00:35:40,671 --> 00:35:41,504
- Hey!
768
00:35:42,885 --> 00:35:44,135
Come back here!
769
00:35:47,090 --> 00:35:48,450
- Guess where I am.
770
00:35:48,450 --> 00:35:50,550
At Mrs. Whiteman's.
771
00:35:50,550 --> 00:35:51,570
- How did you know?
772
00:35:51,570 --> 00:35:53,040
It's the power of Hef.
773
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,080
- No fucking way.
774
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:55,197
How did you know?
775
00:35:55,197 --> 00:35:56,440
I'm at the store.
776
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:57,350
Jen told me.
777
00:35:57,350 --> 00:35:59,890
- Yeah, she was naked.
778
00:35:59,890 --> 00:36:00,740
I know.
779
00:36:02,150 --> 00:36:03,220
- How could you know that?
780
00:36:03,220 --> 00:36:05,210
Telling you,
it's the power of Hef.
781
00:36:05,210 --> 00:36:06,500
- Will you stop that?
782
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:08,810
I know because
I left her a set of balls.
783
00:36:08,810 --> 00:36:11,980
I'm figuring that if she called,
it's 'cause she wants me.
784
00:36:11,980 --> 00:36:15,090
- Yeah, well, somehow,
she got us confused.
785
00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:17,590
So, did you get some nookie?
786
00:36:17,590 --> 00:36:18,570
- Course not.
787
00:36:18,570 --> 00:36:20,060
How come?
788
00:36:20,060 --> 00:36:21,033
- Because.
789
00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:25,850
- Dude, okay, you have to ask yourself,
790
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:28,740
in this situation, "What would Hef do?"
791
00:36:28,740 --> 00:36:31,830
Hef would have fucked her, so should you.
792
00:36:31,830 --> 00:36:32,930
Come on, man.
793
00:36:33,850 --> 00:36:35,500
- Oh, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait,
794
00:36:35,500 --> 00:36:37,260
this is 'cause of Jennifer, isn't it?
795
00:36:37,260 --> 00:36:38,480
- No, we're broken up.
796
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,360
- So?
- So it has nothing
797
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,193
to do with her.
798
00:36:41,193 --> 00:36:42,060
Oh, I think it does.
799
00:36:42,060 --> 00:36:43,010
- Well, it doesn't.
800
00:36:49,914 --> 00:36:51,667
Oh.
801
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:53,333
Oh.
802
00:36:55,992 --> 00:37:00,059
Oh, that was so bad,
that was just so wrong.
803
00:37:00,059 --> 00:37:00,892
Oh.
804
00:37:07,936 --> 00:37:10,530
I think it's
because you love her.
805
00:37:10,530 --> 00:37:11,363
- Fuck that, man.
806
00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:13,030
She got all pissy on me this morning
807
00:37:13,030 --> 00:37:14,610
for telling you about last night.
808
00:37:14,610 --> 00:37:15,730
- What?
809
00:37:15,730 --> 00:37:17,540
Yeah, she
freaked that I told you.
810
00:37:17,540 --> 00:37:20,573
- Oh, shit, man, she was
telling everybody else.
811
00:37:21,420 --> 00:37:22,253
What do you mean?
812
00:37:22,253 --> 00:37:24,030
- She called into "The Bob and Bob Show"
813
00:37:24,030 --> 00:37:26,180
this morning to talk to Dr. Bob.
814
00:37:26,180 --> 00:37:27,013
- What?
815
00:37:27,013 --> 00:37:28,500
Yeah, that's
how I knew this morning,
816
00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:30,603
she spilled her guts about last night.
817
00:37:30,603 --> 00:37:32,740
- What the hell is it with Dr. Bob?
818
00:37:32,740 --> 00:37:34,040
Sounded like
she was looking for advice
819
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,170
on how to get you back.
820
00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:37,360
- Yeah, well, calling a radio show
821
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,867
and getting mad at me is no way to do it.
822
00:37:39,867 --> 00:37:41,990
That fucking bitch!
823
00:37:41,990 --> 00:37:42,920
Is that right?
824
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:43,970
- Yeah, that's right!
825
00:37:45,181 --> 00:37:46,014
- Ugh.
826
00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:49,913
Oh.
827
00:37:49,913 --> 00:37:51,714
Oh!
828
00:37:55,270 --> 00:37:56,103
Ugh.
829
00:37:59,565 --> 00:38:01,393
Oh, gnarly.
830
00:38:02,830 --> 00:38:04,500
- So what did he say?
831
00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:06,530
- Nothing really, didn't
really to talk to her.
832
00:38:06,530 --> 00:38:09,120
He was afraid it would invade her privacy.
833
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,190
Why would it do that?
834
00:38:11,190 --> 00:38:13,560
- Sounds like she still
sees him on a regular basis.
835
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:15,480
- Shit, she still sees him.
836
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:16,313
Apparently.
837
00:38:16,313 --> 00:38:18,760
- Did he say anything else?
838
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:20,250
- Nah, I turned it off after that.
839
00:38:20,250 --> 00:38:22,643
Silence being more
compelling than Dr. Bob.
840
00:38:23,620 --> 00:38:25,875
Probably told her to forget about you.
841
00:38:41,053 --> 00:38:41,886
- Ugh.
842
00:39:05,603 --> 00:39:08,040
- Oh, God, I can't believe this!
843
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,103
- Dude, let it go, let it go.
844
00:39:23,390 --> 00:39:25,745
- World of Leisure makes
the best pool tables.
845
00:39:25,745 --> 00:39:27,460
- What makes them better?
846
00:39:27,460 --> 00:39:30,810
- Well, solid wood, one-inch slate,
847
00:39:30,810 --> 00:39:33,130
they've got seam-free
lining, full profile-
848
00:39:33,130 --> 00:39:37,100
- So, Tara, how's about a DNA milkshake
849
00:39:37,100 --> 00:39:38,150
through a beef straw?
850
00:39:40,479 --> 00:39:42,563
- Does that shit actually work for you?
851
00:39:45,230 --> 00:39:47,020
- Surprisingly often.
852
00:39:47,020 --> 00:39:49,650
You'll fall for it one of these days.
853
00:39:49,650 --> 00:39:50,560
- Please!
854
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:51,830
- Well, see, there you go,
855
00:39:51,830 --> 00:39:52,860
that's what we're looking for,
856
00:39:52,860 --> 00:39:54,757
but put more into in, give me a,
857
00:39:54,757 --> 00:39:56,450
"Please, David, get it!
858
00:39:56,450 --> 00:39:58,830
Yeah, yeah, yeah!"
859
00:39:58,830 --> 00:40:00,130
- Like never!
860
00:40:00,130 --> 00:40:01,973
- Oh, why would you say that?
861
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,480
- David, the only reason you wanna date me
862
00:40:07,828 --> 00:40:08,661
is 'cause you can't.
863
00:40:08,661 --> 00:40:10,120
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,
864
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,940
there is so much more to it than that.
865
00:40:11,940 --> 00:40:13,060
I love you.
866
00:40:13,060 --> 00:40:14,333
My ass!
867
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:16,550
- Yes, I love your ass too.
868
00:40:19,570 --> 00:40:20,403
- David.
869
00:40:21,740 --> 00:40:22,663
I like you,
870
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:25,293
you're a nice guy,
871
00:40:26,748 --> 00:40:29,630
but you're just a total loser!
872
00:40:29,630 --> 00:40:30,463
- What?
873
00:40:30,463 --> 00:40:33,370
- You have a bachelor's
degree in engineering,
874
00:40:33,370 --> 00:40:35,973
and you work here installing pool tables?
875
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,690
You play a game for a living.
876
00:40:39,690 --> 00:40:41,580
- Yeah, and I'm doing what I love.
877
00:40:41,580 --> 00:40:43,320
- So? So am I.
878
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,970
- Please.
879
00:40:44,970 --> 00:40:46,810
You're just too afraid to
go out in the real world
880
00:40:46,810 --> 00:40:49,010
and do something with your life.
881
00:40:49,010 --> 00:40:52,109
Instead, you spend it trying
to get into girlies' panties.
882
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,790
- Hey, what's the opposite of above me?
883
00:40:56,650 --> 00:40:57,770
It's blow me.
884
00:40:57,770 --> 00:40:58,837
- Yeah, keep trying.
885
00:41:13,478 --> 00:41:18,120
What, did you decide
to give your balls a vacation?
886
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:18,953
- Yeah, hi, I'm calling to see
887
00:41:18,953 --> 00:41:21,720
if you have a video I'm looking for.
888
00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:25,577
Yeah, do you have "Harry Pussy
and the Sorcerer's Bone"?
889
00:41:29,810 --> 00:41:32,423
What? It's a cat and
dog flick for my kids.
890
00:41:34,780 --> 00:41:36,570
Yeah, cool.
891
00:41:36,570 --> 00:41:38,333
- Your kids are one and two.
892
00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:41,810
- I'll be by later, thank you.
893
00:41:43,627 --> 00:41:45,120
The hell are you
guys doing back so soon?
894
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,700
- Small was not home.
895
00:41:46,700 --> 00:41:48,110
We waited.
896
00:41:48,110 --> 00:41:49,373
No one showed, so I
left a card on the door.
897
00:41:49,373 --> 00:41:52,400
I had some time to kill before
Johnson, so I'm back here.
898
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:53,930
- Fuck! What is it with people?
899
00:41:53,930 --> 00:41:56,000
They knew that you were coming.
900
00:42:01,181 --> 00:42:02,193
Breaktime Billiards.
901
00:42:03,870 --> 00:42:05,523
Yeah, the guys were just there.
902
00:42:06,660 --> 00:42:08,423
Well, let me get to the calendar.
903
00:42:10,940 --> 00:42:13,273
Oh, no, we couldn't get them back out now.
904
00:42:15,890 --> 00:42:17,763
I can get them back out next week.
905
00:42:20,090 --> 00:42:22,140
Well, I'm sorry, but we're all booked up.
906
00:42:23,980 --> 00:42:26,390
You'll have to take
another day off of work?
907
00:42:26,390 --> 00:42:28,950
Jeez, wish there was something I could do.
908
00:42:28,950 --> 00:42:30,690
You know what, let me
talk to the installer,
909
00:42:30,690 --> 00:42:31,523
see what I can do.
910
00:42:31,523 --> 00:42:32,805
Hold on.
911
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,370
Why do you do that?
912
00:42:35,370 --> 00:42:36,360
- Do what?
913
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,250
- Well, put them off a week.
914
00:42:37,250 --> 00:42:38,083
- Hey, fuck them.
915
00:42:38,083 --> 00:42:38,990
They inconvenience us,
916
00:42:38,990 --> 00:42:40,867
why the hell shouldn't
we inconvenience them?
917
00:42:40,867 --> 00:42:43,640
- "Ah, I see," said the man
918
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,500
as he picks up the hammer and saw.
919
00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:47,787
- It's blind man, but
you're getting closer.
920
00:42:49,230 --> 00:42:50,600
Yeah, I just talked to my installer
921
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,080
and there doesn't seem to be any way.
922
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,283
Next week's the soonest.
923
00:42:55,450 --> 00:42:56,860
Well, I'm real sorry.
924
00:42:56,860 --> 00:42:57,763
I wish I could.
925
00:42:59,810 --> 00:43:00,963
Okay, I'll set it up.
926
00:43:02,547 --> 00:43:04,200
Hey, can we stop by
927
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,740
the video store before you drop me off?
928
00:43:05,740 --> 00:43:07,030
- Sure.
929
00:43:07,030 --> 00:43:08,650
Hey, where's your car?
930
00:43:08,650 --> 00:43:10,290
It's at home.
931
00:43:10,290 --> 00:43:12,170
- If he gets another speeding ticket,
932
00:43:12,170 --> 00:43:13,730
wipes out his whole salary.
933
00:43:13,730 --> 00:43:14,729
- Fuck that.
934
00:43:14,729 --> 00:43:16,492
- How many tickets do you have?
935
00:43:16,492 --> 00:43:19,090
- Oh, like six, but four
of them are bullshit.
936
00:43:19,090 --> 00:43:21,820
I mean, the cops just wanna fuck with me.
937
00:43:21,820 --> 00:43:24,110
- Uh-huh. And the other two?
938
00:43:24,110 --> 00:43:25,530
- Oh, they're me.
939
00:43:25,530 --> 00:43:28,560
- So the four, the cops just
hate poor, little Eddie?
940
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:29,940
- Well, basically.
941
00:43:29,940 --> 00:43:32,500
I mean, one, I was doing like 75.
942
00:43:32,500 --> 00:43:35,920
And I was just going with the
flow and he pulls me over.
943
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,400
And comes up to the window
and I'm like, "What'd I do?"
944
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,407
And he was just being, like, a dick.
945
00:43:40,407 --> 00:43:41,680
"License and registration."
946
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:42,867
And I'm like, "Well, why?"
- Eddie.
947
00:43:42,867 --> 00:43:44,480
- And he's like, "Because
you were speeding."
948
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,710
I'm like, "Well, I was going
as fast as everybody else."
949
00:43:46,710 --> 00:43:49,250
And he's like, "Well,
that's just too bad."
950
00:43:49,250 --> 00:43:51,810
I mean, what, this is just chicken shit.
951
00:43:51,810 --> 00:43:52,700
- Eddie.
- And his partner
952
00:43:52,700 --> 00:43:54,560
was at the other end of the car
953
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:56,290
with his gun, holding up like this,
954
00:43:56,290 --> 00:43:58,393
like I'm gonna do something.
- Eddie!
955
00:44:00,210 --> 00:44:02,120
Yeah?
956
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,320
- You wanna know how
to get out of a ticket?
957
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:07,233
- How?
958
00:44:09,230 --> 00:44:11,100
- The next time you get pulled over,
959
00:44:11,100 --> 00:44:13,933
which will probably be tomorrow,
960
00:44:13,933 --> 00:44:17,590
when the cop comes up to your
window, here's what you say.
961
00:44:17,590 --> 00:44:18,793
You ready? Eddie?
962
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,446
- Yeah. Yeah.
963
00:44:23,446 --> 00:44:24,870
- Okay.
964
00:44:24,870 --> 00:44:26,310
Pay attention.
965
00:44:26,310 --> 00:44:30,700
You look at the cop and you
say, "I'm sorry, Officer.
966
00:44:30,700 --> 00:44:31,907
I'm such a dipshit."
967
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:33,730
- Fuck that.
968
00:44:33,730 --> 00:44:35,163
- No, I'm serious.
969
00:44:36,250 --> 00:44:38,003
"I'm sorry, Officer.
970
00:44:38,003 --> 00:44:39,460
I'm such a dipshit.
971
00:44:39,460 --> 00:44:40,840
I don't know what I was thinking.
972
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:42,940
I shouldn't have been speeding.
973
00:44:42,940 --> 00:44:45,100
I'm such an idiot.
974
00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:45,997
I'm sorry."
975
00:44:48,414 --> 00:44:51,080
- "Mm, I see," said the blind man
976
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,083
as he picks up the hammer and saw.
977
00:44:54,620 --> 00:44:56,680
- No, this works.
978
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:58,770
This has gotten me out many times.
979
00:44:58,770 --> 00:45:01,430
Basically, this is what
cops wanna say to you.
980
00:45:01,430 --> 00:45:04,637
They pull people over all day
and they're tired of hearing,
981
00:45:04,637 --> 00:45:06,820
"I didn't do it, wasn't me."
982
00:45:06,820 --> 00:45:09,150
When all they really wanna
do is call you an asshole
983
00:45:09,150 --> 00:45:10,600
and tell you, "You did do it.
984
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:11,920
It was you."
985
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,310
But they can't.
986
00:45:13,310 --> 00:45:16,280
So if you call yourself an ass
987
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,920
and tell them that you fucked up,
988
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,920
they're so relieved that
someone accepts responsibility
989
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,069
that they'll let you go.
990
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,620
Besides, cops are on a power trip,
991
00:45:25,620 --> 00:45:28,120
so if you apologize a lot,
992
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,040
makes them feel like
the lawyers and judges
993
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,840
they weren't smart enough to become.
994
00:45:32,830 --> 00:45:34,350
- Wow, that's really great.
995
00:45:34,350 --> 00:45:36,220
I'll remember that if I
ever need to phone a friend.
996
00:45:36,220 --> 00:45:37,053
- You should.
997
00:45:42,341 --> 00:45:43,200
Who ordered Mooby's?
998
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,401
- I did.
- Ooh, I love Mooby's.
999
00:45:49,100 --> 00:45:51,010
- When did Mooby's start delivering pizza?
1000
00:45:51,010 --> 00:45:52,160
- Oh, like a month ago.
1001
00:45:53,076 --> 00:45:55,060
- Are you guys staying for lunch?
1002
00:45:55,060 --> 00:45:57,580
- No, actually, I gotta drop
Eddie off at the Porno Palace,
1003
00:45:57,580 --> 00:46:00,080
and then stop by Dr. Bob
Johnson's on the way home.
1004
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,930
- Oh, you don't need me for Johnson's?
1005
00:46:01,930 --> 00:46:03,160
- Easy fix.
1006
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:04,670
- What about the bar?
1007
00:46:04,670 --> 00:46:07,020
- What about it?
- Well, we hooking up tonight?
1008
00:46:07,020 --> 00:46:08,500
- I don't know.
1009
00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:09,333
I'll call you.
1010
00:46:13,580 --> 00:46:15,099
I need my check.
1011
00:46:15,099 --> 00:46:16,660
- Oh, right.
- Oh.
1012
00:46:16,660 --> 00:46:17,493
That's Steve, I'm off to lunch.
1013
00:46:17,493 --> 00:46:19,566
- Wait, wait, wait. What about your pizza?
1014
00:46:19,566 --> 00:46:21,490
- Oh, I ordered it for you.
1015
00:46:21,490 --> 00:46:23,030
Are you coming back by later today?
1016
00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:24,130
Probably not.
1017
00:46:25,297 --> 00:46:26,380
Come on, Max.
1018
00:46:28,292 --> 00:46:30,520
Well, I'm off to hustle some pool.
1019
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,070
You're leaving me too?
1020
00:46:33,260 --> 00:46:36,880
- Aww , does the poor baby
not wanna eat lunch alone?
1021
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,900
- No, it's just, if a customer comes in,
1022
00:46:39,900 --> 00:46:40,990
it'll interrupt my lunch.
1023
00:46:40,990 --> 00:46:42,393
- Oh, okay.
1024
00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:48,090
I'll have lunch with you,
only because of the customers.
1025
00:46:48,090 --> 00:46:50,780
- What is she doing going
out with that loser?
1026
00:46:50,780 --> 00:46:52,760
- Why do you say he's a loser?
1027
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:53,723
- He just is.
1028
00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:58,493
- Ooh, Zacky's jealous.
- Am not.
1029
00:47:00,460 --> 00:47:02,183
Guy looks like a total loser.
1030
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:05,623
- Actually, he looked pretty hot to me.
1031
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:09,253
- Yeah, well, I'm sure he's a total loser.
1032
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:12,920
- How can you be jealous?
1033
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:13,990
- I'm not.
1034
00:47:13,990 --> 00:47:15,820
- Oh, please!
1035
00:47:15,820 --> 00:47:19,003
Just last night, she's watching you do me,
1036
00:47:19,990 --> 00:47:21,020
and here you sit, jealous,
1037
00:47:21,020 --> 00:47:22,510
because she's having lunch with some guy.
1038
00:47:22,510 --> 00:47:24,273
- I'm telling you, I'm not jealous!
1039
00:47:26,700 --> 00:47:29,423
- Wow, man, you've got it bad.
1040
00:47:31,380 --> 00:47:32,660
You know, if you want her so bad,
1041
00:47:32,660 --> 00:47:34,310
then why'd you break up with her?
1042
00:47:36,550 --> 00:47:37,713
- It's complicated.
1043
00:47:39,420 --> 00:47:40,253
- It always is.
1044
00:47:44,550 --> 00:47:45,480
Well?
1045
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:46,313
- Well, what?
1046
00:47:46,313 --> 00:47:48,600
- Oh, Christ, it's like
pulling teeth with you.
1047
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:50,860
Okay, do you love her?
1048
00:47:50,860 --> 00:47:54,200
- Well, yeah, of course, we
were together for two years.
1049
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:57,403
- Okay, then if you love
her, what's the problem?
1050
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:03,383
- Well, you've experienced life, right?
1051
00:48:04,550 --> 00:48:06,210
- I guess.
1052
00:48:06,210 --> 00:48:07,043
Sure.
1053
00:48:07,043 --> 00:48:10,860
- Okay, so when you're
ready to settle down,
1054
00:48:10,860 --> 00:48:13,430
you'll know if he or she is the right one
1055
00:48:13,430 --> 00:48:15,580
because you'll know
what else is out there.
1056
00:48:16,910 --> 00:48:20,490
- I suppose that's true,
whether it's a he or she.
1057
00:48:20,490 --> 00:48:22,910
- Yeah, well, see, I don't know.
1058
00:48:22,910 --> 00:48:25,460
I'm not like you. I'm not like David.
1059
00:48:25,460 --> 00:48:27,670
I haven't lived the bachelor life.
1060
00:48:27,670 --> 00:48:30,070
Before Jen, I didn't date much.
1061
00:48:30,070 --> 00:48:32,670
There was, I had one girlfriend.
1062
00:48:32,670 --> 00:48:34,863
Lasted a year, and then she dumped me.
1063
00:48:35,710 --> 00:48:37,390
You know, there were a
few dates, but that's it.
1064
00:48:37,390 --> 00:48:40,285
No wild sex parties, no orgies, nothing.
1065
00:48:40,285 --> 00:48:41,935
- That has nothing to do with it.
1066
00:48:45,250 --> 00:48:47,003
If I find the right one, I'll know.
1067
00:48:49,010 --> 00:48:52,500
I'll know, not because I've
been with so many people,
1068
00:48:52,500 --> 00:48:56,673
but because I'll feel it inside.
1069
00:48:59,010 --> 00:49:00,850
I'll know I'm in love, and
I bet if you ask David,
1070
00:49:00,850 --> 00:49:02,410
he'll tell you the same.
1071
00:49:02,410 --> 00:49:04,593
- I doubt that.
- No, really.
1072
00:49:06,083 --> 00:49:08,950
I'm not out here dating
to become better educated
1073
00:49:08,950 --> 00:49:10,693
on how to find the right person.
1074
00:49:12,090 --> 00:49:13,793
I'm looking for the right person.
1075
00:49:15,750 --> 00:49:17,370
In the meantime,
1076
00:49:17,370 --> 00:49:20,149
just having a damn good
time and enjoying myself.
1077
00:49:21,450 --> 00:49:22,453
- I don't know.
1078
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:26,523
- What is there to know?
1079
00:49:27,430 --> 00:49:30,900
You love her, that's all there is to know.
1080
00:49:30,900 --> 00:49:32,810
Besides, she's willing to share you.
1081
00:49:32,810 --> 00:49:34,717
How could you go wrong?
1082
00:49:34,717 --> 00:49:37,410
Do you know how many guys would
kill to be in your position,
1083
00:49:37,410 --> 00:49:40,320
have their cake and eat it too?
1084
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,930
- Well, that's part of it.
1085
00:49:42,930 --> 00:49:43,763
- Part of what?
1086
00:49:45,460 --> 00:49:47,020
- I love Jen.
1087
00:49:47,020 --> 00:49:48,490
She's great.
1088
00:49:48,490 --> 00:49:50,500
She'll do anything for me.
1089
00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:52,600
She'll do stuff that she doesn't wanna do
1090
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:56,410
just because she wants to do it for me.
1091
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:59,440
So what if I stay with Jen,
1092
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,260
and we invite other chicks into bed,
1093
00:50:01,260 --> 00:50:03,430
and one day, I realize that I love
1094
00:50:03,430 --> 00:50:05,940
one of these girls more than Jen?
1095
00:50:05,940 --> 00:50:06,933
So I leave her.
1096
00:50:07,890 --> 00:50:09,290
Well, I don't wanna do that.
1097
00:50:09,290 --> 00:50:10,640
I don't wanna hurt her like that,
1098
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,190
especially since she was cool enough
1099
00:50:12,190 --> 00:50:14,050
to allow other girls to join us.
1100
00:50:14,050 --> 00:50:15,650
So instead, I stay,
1101
00:50:15,650 --> 00:50:17,740
but I'm in love with
one of these other girls
1102
00:50:17,740 --> 00:50:19,780
and I know that Jen isn't the one I want,
1103
00:50:19,780 --> 00:50:21,980
so I'm unhappy, and
that isn't right either.
1104
00:50:23,470 --> 00:50:25,923
- Listen, that's just life.
1105
00:50:28,010 --> 00:50:32,380
God, If you love Jen,
which I believe you do,
1106
00:50:32,380 --> 00:50:34,530
then you'll always love her,
1107
00:50:34,530 --> 00:50:36,110
and if you fall in love with
one of these other chicks,
1108
00:50:36,110 --> 00:50:37,910
then it wasn't meant to be with Jen.
1109
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:43,263
But if you walk away from
this, if you leave her,
1110
00:50:45,010 --> 00:50:47,300
then you may never fall in love again,
1111
00:50:47,300 --> 00:50:49,310
and you'll have missed out
1112
00:50:49,310 --> 00:50:51,703
on your one opportunity to be in love.
1113
00:50:59,460 --> 00:51:01,313
Well, it's Friday.
1114
00:51:02,270 --> 00:51:05,140
Unless you're gonna start
paying me for advice,
1115
00:51:05,140 --> 00:51:07,690
I gotta go hustle some guys
out of their paychecks.
1116
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:12,033
Come on, Max.
1117
00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:25,372
- Ugh.
1118
00:51:31,270 --> 00:51:32,103
Fuck.
1119
00:51:42,044 --> 00:51:43,610
How you doing?
1120
00:51:43,610 --> 00:51:45,120
- Fine.
1121
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,200
Anything I can help you with?
1122
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:49,126
- I'm looking for a pool table.
1123
00:51:53,590 --> 00:51:54,423
Hello?
1124
00:51:57,050 --> 00:51:58,600
No, I have her phone, she has mine.
1125
00:51:58,600 --> 00:51:59,433
Who's this?
1126
00:52:00,610 --> 00:52:01,443
Hello?
1127
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:03,593
Hello?
1128
00:52:06,180 --> 00:52:07,250
Wife's phone.
1129
00:52:07,250 --> 00:52:09,757
- Hm, well, do you have
an idea as to what size
1130
00:52:10,940 --> 00:52:13,187
or style of table that you're looking for?
1131
00:52:13,187 --> 00:52:14,940
- Who would be calling Alisha?
1132
00:52:14,940 --> 00:52:17,340
Hm, kinda weird?
1133
00:52:17,340 --> 00:52:18,675
- Excuse me for a second.
1134
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:25,360
Alisha.
1135
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,330
I just got a call from
some guy looking for you.
1136
00:52:27,330 --> 00:52:28,163
Who was it?
1137
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,416
What do you mean you don't know?
1138
00:52:31,416 --> 00:52:33,940
You should know who the
fuck is calling you.
1139
00:52:33,940 --> 00:52:35,390
Are you cheating on me again?
1140
00:52:36,430 --> 00:52:37,740
Are you?
1141
00:52:37,740 --> 00:52:38,943
You fucking bitch.
1142
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:42,233
It's that Da-Veed guy, isn't it?
1143
00:52:46,910 --> 00:52:47,743
- Whatever.
1144
00:52:53,230 --> 00:52:54,973
So, how was your lunch?
1145
00:52:55,990 --> 00:52:57,020
- It was good.
1146
00:52:57,020 --> 00:52:59,630
- Yeah? Did you tell him about us?
1147
00:52:59,630 --> 00:53:00,463
What?
1148
00:53:00,463 --> 00:53:02,720
- How could you climb all
over me for telling David,
1149
00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:04,360
when you're calling a radio show
1150
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:06,560
and spilling your guts to Dr. Bob?!
1151
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:07,637
- I said I was sorry.
1152
00:53:07,637 --> 00:53:10,470
- No, you apologized
because I proved you wrong.
1153
00:53:10,470 --> 00:53:12,150
It was still hypocritical of you
1154
00:53:12,150 --> 00:53:13,210
to have started the argument,
1155
00:53:13,210 --> 00:53:16,323
especially, like, five minutes
after you got off the radio!
1156
00:53:17,500 --> 00:53:18,860
- You know what, fuck you!
1157
00:53:18,860 --> 00:53:20,880
You're such an asshole.
1158
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,300
I do so much shit for you, I
don't need to deal with this.
1159
00:53:23,300 --> 00:53:25,430
- Wait a minute, stop
pulling my dick here!
1160
00:53:25,430 --> 00:53:27,820
You're the one that called the radio show!
1161
00:53:27,820 --> 00:53:29,230
- And I said I was sorry.
1162
00:53:29,230 --> 00:53:31,190
- Sorry because I was right!
1163
00:53:31,190 --> 00:53:33,480
- Sorry because I love you!
1164
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,040
I only called that radio show
because I wanted to find a way
1165
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:37,803
for us to get back together again.
1166
00:53:38,710 --> 00:53:42,413
You only told David to
brag, just to freaking brag.
1167
00:53:44,962 --> 00:53:46,093
This is such bullshit.
1168
00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:48,703
I'm so good to you.
1169
00:53:50,020 --> 00:53:52,210
I'm so good to you and
you're willing to throw away
1170
00:53:52,210 --> 00:53:55,570
two years just so that you
can go fuck other women?
1171
00:53:55,570 --> 00:53:56,720
I'm even letting you do that.
1172
00:53:56,720 --> 00:53:58,380
I'm telling you that
you can do that with me
1173
00:53:58,380 --> 00:54:01,687
and that's not even good enough for you.
1174
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,800
Who took care of this store
when your grandpa died
1175
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,030
and you cried like a baby for a week?
1176
00:54:08,030 --> 00:54:09,113
Who took care of you?
1177
00:54:10,490 --> 00:54:11,323
That was me.
1178
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:15,260
Or how about when you stumbled home drunk
1179
00:54:15,260 --> 00:54:16,600
and you shit your pants?
1180
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:19,360
Who took care of you and cleaned you up?
1181
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:20,490
That was me.
1182
00:54:20,490 --> 00:54:21,623
That was fucking me.
1183
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:39,273
- Excuse me.
1184
00:54:41,380 --> 00:54:42,420
Excuse me.
1185
00:54:42,420 --> 00:54:43,770
- Huh?
1186
00:54:43,770 --> 00:54:45,667
Yeah, can I help you?
1187
00:55:19,351 --> 00:55:21,518
- Who is it?
- It's David.
1188
00:55:23,103 --> 00:55:25,517
- Thought you were never going to show.
1189
00:56:10,313 --> 00:56:12,067
Give it to me, monkey boy!
1190
00:56:28,954 --> 00:56:30,806
Oh, yeah, fuck me, monkey boy.
1191
00:56:40,046 --> 00:56:41,417
Oh, yeah, monkey boy.
1192
00:56:43,137 --> 00:56:46,085
Oh, give it to me, monkey boy.
1193
00:56:46,085 --> 00:56:47,273
You son of a bitch!
1194
00:57:23,389 --> 00:57:24,222
- Schmuck.
1195
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:38,690
- Damn kids.
1196
00:57:38,690 --> 00:57:40,370
I'm going
next door to ship this.
1197
00:57:40,370 --> 00:57:41,203
- Fine.
1198
00:57:45,287 --> 00:57:46,900
Hey, hey, you guys can't play here.
1199
00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:48,210
- Who says?
1200
00:57:48,210 --> 00:57:49,043
- I say.
1201
00:57:49,043 --> 00:57:50,220
- Who are you?
1202
00:57:50,220 --> 00:57:51,617
- I own this place.
1203
00:57:51,617 --> 00:57:53,640
- So?
- So you can't play here.
1204
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:54,690
- Fuck you! Let's go.
1205
00:57:54,690 --> 00:57:56,070
- What did you say?!
1206
00:57:56,070 --> 00:57:57,632
- He said, "Fuck you."
1207
00:57:57,632 --> 00:57:58,593
- Fuck me? Fuck you, you fucking fucks!
1208
00:58:00,450 --> 00:58:03,107
- Lick my asshole, you vaginal blood fart.
1209
00:58:05,140 --> 00:58:05,973
- Hey!
1210
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:09,208
Got your notebook!
1211
00:58:11,650 --> 00:58:13,260
Got to be kidding me.
1212
00:58:13,260 --> 00:58:14,983
Fucking kids, no respect.
1213
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:25,240
Be with you in a second.
1214
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:29,153
How you doing?
1215
00:58:30,087 --> 00:58:31,170
Need a dozen chalk.
1216
00:58:31,170 --> 00:58:32,800
Green, please.
1217
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:33,880
- What the fuck?
1218
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:35,460
Excuse me?
1219
00:58:35,460 --> 00:58:36,780
- Why are you naked?
1220
00:58:36,780 --> 00:58:38,600
I lost a bet.
1221
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,910
- Come again? I mean, say again?
1222
00:58:41,910 --> 00:58:44,510
- We need chalk for the bar
tables across the street,
1223
00:58:44,510 --> 00:58:46,360
and I bet this honey the
loser would come over here
1224
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:48,480
and get chalk, naked.
1225
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,763
She kicked my ass, so here I am.
1226
00:58:52,010 --> 00:58:55,590
- Was she real cute,
blonde, about this tall?
1227
00:58:55,590 --> 00:58:57,660
- Yeah, she was hot too.
1228
00:58:57,660 --> 00:58:59,763
Damn, I sure wanted to see her naked.
1229
00:59:01,170 --> 00:59:02,233
- She look like that?
1230
00:59:04,140 --> 00:59:05,887
- Whoa, you know her.
1231
00:59:11,930 --> 00:59:13,270
- Is blue okay?
1232
00:59:13,270 --> 00:59:15,563
- No. I need the green ones right there.
1233
00:59:22,890 --> 00:59:24,980
- Can you move? They're next to your dick.
1234
00:59:24,980 --> 00:59:26,780
- Sorry, part of the bet.
1235
00:59:46,647 --> 00:59:48,350
$5.36
1236
00:59:48,350 --> 00:59:50,497
- It says $4.95.
1237
00:59:50,497 --> 00:59:52,943
- $5.36 with tax.
1238
01:00:17,300 --> 01:00:18,404
Now what?
1239
01:00:18,404 --> 01:00:21,210
- What kind of sick fucks are you people?!
1240
01:00:21,210 --> 01:00:22,800
Where is he?!
1241
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:24,400
- The naked guy?
1242
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:26,060
- No, you freak!
1243
01:00:26,060 --> 01:00:27,630
That installer of yours!
1244
01:00:27,630 --> 01:00:28,865
Where is he?!
1245
01:00:28,865 --> 01:00:30,727
- At home, I guess.
1246
01:00:32,231 --> 01:00:33,460
Is that him?
1247
01:00:33,460 --> 01:00:34,779
David, is that you?
1248
01:00:34,779 --> 01:00:35,779
- No, of course not.
1249
01:00:37,790 --> 01:00:38,950
Dr. Bob.
1250
01:00:38,950 --> 01:00:40,800
Where is he?
1251
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:43,030
- I have his cell, I can call him.
1252
01:00:43,030 --> 01:00:44,950
Good, get him in here.
1253
01:00:44,950 --> 01:00:47,530
- Okay, but let's be rational.
1254
01:00:47,530 --> 01:00:51,260
I'll call him, why don't
you put down the gun first?
1255
01:00:51,260 --> 01:00:53,270
- Why don't you call him,
1256
01:00:53,270 --> 01:00:56,280
and then I'll rationally stick
this gun so far up your nose,
1257
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:57,790
I can blow out your ass?!
1258
01:00:57,790 --> 01:00:58,840
Fair enough.
1259
01:01:00,070 --> 01:01:01,140
Let me just get the phone.
1260
01:01:01,140 --> 01:01:02,780
- No!
1261
01:01:02,780 --> 01:01:04,943
You, get him the phone!
1262
01:01:06,964 --> 01:01:08,499
Now!
1263
01:01:08,499 --> 01:01:09,332
- It's okay, Jen. It's okay.
1264
01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:10,824
Just grab the phone.
1265
01:01:10,824 --> 01:01:12,069
- Now, bitch!
1266
01:01:12,069 --> 01:01:12,902
- All right, all right.
1267
01:01:12,902 --> 01:01:14,660
There's no reason to be hostile here.
1268
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:17,133
Yeah, now, bitch.
1269
01:01:33,166 --> 01:01:34,666
Oh, God!
1270
01:01:36,345 --> 01:01:38,040
Hello?
1271
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:39,660
- David.
- Sup?
1272
01:01:39,660 --> 01:01:41,674
- Dude, you better get down here.
1273
01:01:41,674 --> 01:01:42,510
Why?
1274
01:01:42,510 --> 01:01:45,120
- Because Dr. Bob is here to see you.
1275
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:46,530
- Oh, shit, dude.
1276
01:01:46,530 --> 01:01:49,030
That crazy fuck chased me out
of his house with a shotgun.
1277
01:01:49,030 --> 01:01:51,840
- Yeah, he's here with it now.
1278
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:52,673
- Are you okay?
1279
01:01:55,100 --> 01:01:55,933
- Listen, you little fuck,
1280
01:01:55,933 --> 01:01:57,040
you better get your ass down here!
1281
01:01:57,040 --> 01:01:58,040
You have 10 minutes!
1282
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:00,030
If you're not here, or
if you call the police,
1283
01:02:00,030 --> 01:02:01,743
I'm gonna blow your little friends away!
1284
01:02:09,190 --> 01:02:10,363
Don't answer it.
1285
01:02:11,700 --> 01:02:13,733
- Hey, bud, it's cool.
1286
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:16,550
Remember, man, we didn't do anything.
1287
01:02:16,550 --> 01:02:17,700
We're cool.
1288
01:02:17,700 --> 01:02:18,713
We're no threat.
1289
01:02:20,140 --> 01:02:22,030
Hey, why don't we go into the back
1290
01:02:22,030 --> 01:02:25,230
where we can all sit down and talk?
1291
01:02:25,230 --> 01:02:26,063
- No!
1292
01:02:26,940 --> 01:02:29,580
- Listen, bud, if somebody
comes in here and sees you,
1293
01:02:29,580 --> 01:02:30,973
we're gonna have problems.
1294
01:02:31,930 --> 01:02:33,730
And you don't want problems, do you?
1295
01:02:36,260 --> 01:02:37,413
- No.
- All right.
1296
01:02:38,270 --> 01:02:39,930
Nice and easy.
1297
01:02:39,930 --> 01:02:42,833
We'll slowly go to the back
where we can all sit down.
1298
01:02:47,987 --> 01:02:49,154
Nice and easy.
1299
01:02:51,989 --> 01:02:53,003
It's cool.
1300
01:02:53,003 --> 01:02:54,170
Nice and easy.
1301
01:02:58,062 --> 01:02:59,229
Nice and easy.
1302
01:03:16,450 --> 01:03:17,283
- That's weird.
1303
01:03:24,260 --> 01:03:25,240
Why don't you have a seat?
1304
01:03:25,240 --> 01:03:27,610
Don't play
these games with me, kid.
1305
01:03:27,610 --> 01:03:28,900
I'm a psychologist, remember?
1306
01:03:28,900 --> 01:03:31,160
- No, no, no, it's cool, it's cool.
1307
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:33,520
- So don't play those games with me.
1308
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:35,493
I'm tops in my field for Christ's sake!
1309
01:03:37,660 --> 01:03:39,083
- Well, that's my point.
1310
01:03:40,003 --> 01:03:42,990
Do you really wanna throw
it all away for David?
1311
01:03:42,990 --> 01:03:45,290
- He fucked my wife!
1312
01:03:45,290 --> 01:03:46,750
And she fucked him.
1313
01:03:46,750 --> 01:03:47,920
- Are you calling her a whore?!
1314
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:49,870
- No, no, no, no, no, not in the least.
1315
01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:54,333
- Well, she is.
1316
01:03:57,343 --> 01:03:58,926
She fucks everyone.
1317
01:04:01,180 --> 01:04:02,780
I once caught her fucking Pedro.
1318
01:04:04,310 --> 01:04:05,573
Fucking bitch!
1319
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:09,783
He was a great gardener too.
1320
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:14,650
But you love her, don't you?
1321
01:04:16,370 --> 01:04:17,203
Yes.
1322
01:04:18,060 --> 01:04:20,103
And you wanna be with her, right?
1323
01:04:21,410 --> 01:04:22,243
- Yes.
1324
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:25,400
So you don't
wanna do this, do you?
1325
01:04:27,260 --> 01:04:28,093
- No.
1326
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:31,490
So why don't you just
go home, make up with her,
1327
01:04:31,490 --> 01:04:34,070
and we'll forget all about this.
1328
01:04:34,070 --> 01:04:35,270
- Because she's a whore!
1329
01:04:36,300 --> 01:04:37,550
Maybe she's not.
1330
01:04:39,130 --> 01:04:42,263
Hey, haven't you ever wanted
to have sex with another woman?
1331
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:52,170
- My secretary, Janice.
1332
01:04:52,170 --> 01:04:54,270
Did you ever tell your wife that?
1333
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:56,513
Maybe she'd be into it.
1334
01:04:58,180 --> 01:05:01,060
Maybe you guys just need to try swinging.
1335
01:05:01,060 --> 01:05:02,430
- What?
1336
01:05:02,430 --> 01:05:04,970
Well, it works for some people.
1337
01:05:04,970 --> 01:05:08,330
That way, you can both
be together, in love,
1338
01:05:08,330 --> 01:05:10,433
just sharing your bed.
1339
01:05:11,300 --> 01:05:14,963
You have sex together
and with other people.
1340
01:05:19,530 --> 01:05:21,100
- There's an idea.
1341
01:05:21,100 --> 01:05:21,993
Sure is.
1342
01:05:25,290 --> 01:05:26,980
- Are you fucking kidding me?!
1343
01:05:26,980 --> 01:05:28,010
Are you out of your mind?!
1344
01:05:28,010 --> 01:05:30,170
No, no! You're taking advice from him?
1345
01:05:30,170 --> 01:05:31,650
You told me to dump him.
1346
01:05:31,650 --> 01:05:33,600
You said that threesomes
were the devil's work
1347
01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:36,020
and that if he chose to
fornicate with others,
1348
01:05:36,020 --> 01:05:37,320
then he would burn in hell
1349
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:39,353
and suffer God's wrath here on Earth.
1350
01:05:44,260 --> 01:05:45,390
- Ask who it is.
1351
01:05:45,390 --> 01:05:46,380
- Who is it?
1352
01:05:46,380 --> 01:05:47,630
David!
1353
01:05:47,630 --> 01:05:48,463
- Come in!
1354
01:05:50,540 --> 01:05:51,373
Slowly.
1355
01:05:54,390 --> 01:05:55,533
Shut the door.
1356
01:06:03,990 --> 01:06:05,710
Fuck!
- Dude, it's cool!
1357
01:06:05,710 --> 01:06:06,864
Relax, dude, put the gun down.
1358
01:06:06,864 --> 01:06:08,646
- Fuck you!
1359
01:06:08,646 --> 01:06:09,979
You little fuck!
1360
01:06:11,027 --> 01:06:12,803
You fucked my wife.
1361
01:06:14,420 --> 01:06:15,393
My lovely wife.
1362
01:06:17,688 --> 01:06:20,317
You son of a bitch, how could you?!
1363
01:06:20,317 --> 01:06:23,277
How could you walk into a
man's life and destroy it?!
1364
01:06:24,780 --> 01:06:27,117
I'm gonna kill you, you motherfucker!
1365
01:06:29,826 --> 01:06:31,567
Dude, call the cops!
1366
01:06:31,567 --> 01:06:33,900
Where's the phone?!
1367
01:06:39,030 --> 01:06:41,120
- While you're at it, call the press.
1368
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:43,850
Tell them that my wife was
raped by one of your installers.
1369
01:06:43,850 --> 01:06:45,240
- Rape? I didn't do any such thing.
1370
01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:46,693
- I'm a national star.
1371
01:06:47,670 --> 01:06:50,090
I get on TV and radio, tell my sad story,
1372
01:06:50,090 --> 01:06:51,383
everyone will believe it.
1373
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:55,833
Even if it's disproved,
they'll believe the accusation.
1374
01:06:56,690 --> 01:06:57,620
- You wouldn't.
1375
01:06:57,620 --> 01:06:58,453
- Try me.
1376
01:06:59,420 --> 01:07:00,970
Go on, try me. Dial the number.
1377
01:07:02,590 --> 01:07:04,697
Who do you think they'll believe?
1378
01:07:04,697 --> 01:07:06,600
May I have my weapon?
1379
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:08,790
- What are you, fucking nuts?
1380
01:07:08,790 --> 01:07:09,623
- Maybe.
1381
01:07:10,580 --> 01:07:11,413
It's not loaded.
1382
01:07:25,290 --> 01:07:28,550
Well, if there's nothing else,
1383
01:07:28,550 --> 01:07:31,203
I'm gonna go home and talk
to my wife about swinging.
1384
01:07:35,390 --> 01:07:36,980
- What the fuck?
1385
01:07:36,980 --> 01:07:38,387
- I gotta get some air.
1386
01:08:06,290 --> 01:08:07,540
- What the fuck was that?
1387
01:08:08,830 --> 01:08:09,663
- I don't know.
1388
01:08:11,020 --> 01:08:11,853
I almost died.
1389
01:08:13,860 --> 01:08:15,060
- It wasn't even loaded.
1390
01:08:16,780 --> 01:08:18,320
- Could've been.
1391
01:08:18,320 --> 01:08:19,153
- True.
1392
01:08:22,024 --> 01:08:23,600
- It does make you stop and think, man.
1393
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,550
I gotta stop this shit.
1394
01:08:25,550 --> 01:08:28,380
I gotta stop fucking
around and settle down,
1395
01:08:28,380 --> 01:08:29,780
find somebody like Jennifer.
1396
01:08:31,250 --> 01:08:32,083
You're so lucky.
1397
01:08:33,290 --> 01:08:34,160
- Me?
1398
01:08:34,160 --> 01:08:34,993
- Yeah, you.
1399
01:08:35,830 --> 01:08:37,023
That girl adores you.
1400
01:08:37,870 --> 01:08:39,320
And she's pretty, and she's fun,
1401
01:08:39,320 --> 01:08:41,220
and she's got a head on her shoulders.
1402
01:08:43,010 --> 01:08:45,523
You should go in there right
now and ask her to marry you.
1403
01:08:47,100 --> 01:08:49,100
- Dude, you're just shaken up.
1404
01:08:49,100 --> 01:08:50,163
- No, I'm serious.
1405
01:08:51,510 --> 01:08:52,850
Do you wanna be like me?
1406
01:08:52,850 --> 01:08:54,680
I mean, do you wanna be on the run
1407
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:57,583
from crazy, overrated, psycho
husbands with shotguns?
1408
01:08:57,583 --> 01:08:59,768
I'm being serious.
1409
01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:04,190
What about Hef?
1410
01:09:04,190 --> 01:09:05,317
- What about Hef?
1411
01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:07,460
What about Hef?
1412
01:09:11,500 --> 01:09:13,483
Hef would go back in there and marry her.
1413
01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:16,380
- Nah.
- Yeah, he would.
1414
01:09:16,380 --> 01:09:17,540
He did it, twice.
1415
01:09:17,540 --> 01:09:19,390
- Yeah, but it failed both times.
1416
01:09:19,390 --> 01:09:21,720
- So? He still tried.
1417
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:25,690
When you find the right
one, you have to try.
1418
01:09:25,690 --> 01:09:27,213
And she is the right one.
1419
01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:31,400
Don't be like me, Zack.
1420
01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:34,160
My life is not glamorous.
1421
01:09:34,160 --> 01:09:38,740
Okay, most nights, I spend alone.
1422
01:09:38,740 --> 01:09:41,520
And the nights that I
actually am with someone,
1423
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:42,583
it's just sex.
1424
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:48,957
No conversation, no sharing, just sex.
1425
01:09:55,460 --> 01:09:56,560
Don't let her go, man.
1426
01:10:00,210 --> 01:10:01,043
I gotta go.
1427
01:11:07,380 --> 01:11:09,522
She's a little shaken.
1428
01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:13,780
I'll go take care of the customer.
1429
01:11:13,780 --> 01:11:14,643
You two can talk.
1430
01:11:28,530 --> 01:11:29,363
- You okay?
1431
01:11:30,660 --> 01:11:31,610
- We could've died.
1432
01:11:33,057 --> 01:11:34,557
- Well, it wasn't even loaded.
1433
01:11:35,660 --> 01:11:37,343
- What a stupid thing to say.
1434
01:11:38,410 --> 01:11:40,310
- Look, I don't wanna argue right now.
1435
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:46,003
Look, it got me thinking,
1436
01:11:46,910 --> 01:11:51,214
and David said some things,
1437
01:11:51,214 --> 01:11:52,510
and Tara said some things,
1438
01:11:52,510 --> 01:11:55,413
and you said some things.
1439
01:11:59,140 --> 01:12:01,233
Look, you never bring me down.
1440
01:12:02,490 --> 01:12:04,290
You only do things that bring me up.
1441
01:12:06,430 --> 01:12:07,630
Whenever I'm around you,
1442
01:12:08,820 --> 01:12:12,003
I feel good, I feel great.
1443
01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:15,510
Very rarely is there an occasion
1444
01:12:15,510 --> 01:12:17,540
that wouldn't benefit from your presence,
1445
01:12:17,540 --> 01:12:20,273
and if there is, I can't
think of one right now.
1446
01:12:28,940 --> 01:12:32,563
I love you and I always wanna be with you.
1447
01:12:35,760 --> 01:12:36,610
- I love you too.
1448
01:12:52,100 --> 01:12:55,340
- You will still bring
your girlfriends over
1449
01:12:55,340 --> 01:12:56,490
for sex, though, right?
1450
01:12:57,530 --> 01:12:59,573
- Yeah, but only if I can bring Steve.
1451
01:13:00,850 --> 01:13:02,300
Steve?
1452
01:13:03,976 --> 01:13:04,809
- Yeah.
1453
01:13:06,980 --> 01:13:08,230
Honey, what's that smell?
1454
01:13:10,074 --> 01:13:11,518
- I don't know.
1455
01:13:15,740 --> 01:13:17,290
- Glad to see all is well here.
1456
01:13:18,220 --> 01:13:19,683
- Everything is great.
1457
01:13:22,320 --> 01:13:23,670
- I'm gonna get outta here.
1458
01:13:24,605 --> 01:13:26,170
Guys wanna to come over tonight?
1459
01:13:26,170 --> 01:13:29,543
Maybe a soak in the hot
tub, watch some home videos?
1460
01:13:34,430 --> 01:13:35,911
- Sure?
- Sure.
1461
01:13:35,911 --> 01:13:36,830
- Yeah, sure.
- Sure, yeah.
1462
01:13:36,830 --> 01:13:38,370
Yeah.
1463
01:13:38,370 --> 01:13:39,313
- We'll be there.
1464
01:13:55,143 --> 01:14:00,143
# Can you hear me I'm not making a sound #
1465
01:14:04,728 --> 01:14:09,728
# Now that you hear me you
would know I am drowning #
1466
01:14:13,686 --> 01:14:18,686
# Everyone is coming over
yet I'm feeling left alone #
1467
01:14:23,620 --> 01:14:28,620
# Everyone is coming over yet
I'm feeling so left alone #
1468
01:14:34,619 --> 01:14:38,969
# Now we're waiting left
feeling frustrated #
1469
01:14:38,969 --> 01:14:43,969
# We're gonna make it I know #
1470
01:14:44,192 --> 01:14:48,819
# Now we're waiting left
feeling frustrated #
1471
01:14:48,819 --> 01:14:53,819
# We're gonna make it I know #
1472
01:14:54,222 --> 01:14:58,531
# Now we're waiting left
feeling frustrated #
1473
01:14:58,531 --> 01:15:03,531
# We're gonna make it I know #
1474
01:15:04,169 --> 01:15:08,281
# Now we're waiting left
feeling frustrated #
1475
01:15:08,281 --> 01:15:12,114
# We're gonna make it I know #
1476
01:15:19,443 --> 01:15:22,603
# Well the miles feel
like it's across the sea #
1477
01:15:22,603 --> 01:15:25,255
# But you're standing
right in front of me #
1478
01:15:25,255 --> 01:15:30,009
# Try to catch my breath
am I looking down again #
1479
01:15:30,009 --> 01:15:35,009
# 'Cause I've got tomorrow in my sight #
1480
01:15:35,132 --> 01:15:40,132
# And I'm wishing everything's all right #
1481
01:15:40,366 --> 01:15:43,470
# But there's always
another complication #
1482
01:15:43,470 --> 01:15:46,048
# In our sticky situation #
1483
01:15:46,048 --> 01:15:51,048
# It'll be all right
babe I just feel moody #
1484
01:15:51,753 --> 01:15:56,723
# Once you said that you'd be my king #
1485
01:15:56,723 --> 01:16:00,757
# You said that you'd be my everything #
1486
01:16:00,757 --> 01:16:03,697
# Well the miles feel
like it's across the sea #
1487
01:16:03,697 --> 01:16:06,196
# But you're standing
right in front of me #
1488
01:16:06,196 --> 01:16:11,187
# Try to catch my breath
am I moving on again #
1489
01:16:11,187 --> 01:16:16,187
# 'Cause I've got tomorrow in my sight #
1490
01:16:16,375 --> 01:16:21,375
# And I'm wishing everything's all right #
1491
01:16:21,523 --> 01:16:24,556
# But there's always another hesitation #
1492
01:16:24,556 --> 01:16:27,195
# In your wild imagination #
1493
01:16:27,195 --> 01:16:32,123
# It'll be all right
babe I just feel moody #
1494
01:16:32,123 --> 01:16:37,123
# But instability is killing me #
1495
01:16:37,293 --> 01:16:39,850
# I look in vain can't find you there #
1496
01:16:39,850 --> 01:16:42,410
# But you keep on saying
how much you care #
1497
01:16:42,410 --> 01:16:45,065
# You know I made your heart my home #
1498
01:16:45,065 --> 01:16:47,440
# Think I'm packing up and moving on #
1499
01:16:47,440 --> 01:16:52,440
# Don't worry baby I just feel moody #
1500
01:16:52,609 --> 01:16:55,658
# Oh I think I got an education #
1501
01:16:55,658 --> 01:16:58,144
# Time for self-preservation #
1502
01:16:58,144 --> 01:17:03,073
# It'll be all right
babe I just feel moody #
1503
01:17:03,073 --> 01:17:05,923
# It'll be all right
babe I just feel moody #
1504
01:17:05,923 --> 01:17:08,364
# I just feel moody #
1505
01:17:08,364 --> 01:17:11,117
# It'll be all right
babe I just feel moody #
1506
01:17:11,117 --> 01:17:13,862
# I just feel moody #
1507
01:17:13,862 --> 01:17:18,529
# It'll be all right babe I just feel #
102986
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