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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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NARRATOR:
Kids, in the fall of 2010,
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I was hosting my
very first Thanksgiving.
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And I wanted it
to be unforgettable.
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Instead of stuffing, I'm going
to fill the turkey with...
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a slightly smaller turkey.
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It's called a Turturkeykey!
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A Turturkeykey?
Mm-hmm.
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Uh-uh, oh-oh. ROBIN:
Yeah, I was there for
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the "insertion."
He used shoehorns.
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I'll be having sides.
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Your loss.
All right, it's dead in here.
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I'm gonna call it
a little early.
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What? No!
You can't go now.
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It's the night
before Thanksgiving.
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College chicks
are back in town.
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Their moms just made
a snide comment
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about the weight they gained.
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They called her a bitch,
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but deep down,
they know she's right.
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And they're about to walk
through that door,
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where we will be waiting
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with some light beer
and some rock hard approval.
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Wh-what u-up?
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Yeah. You don't want
to bail early, man.
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You could become The Blitz.
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(all groan)
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NARRATOR: Blitz was a guy
we knew in college.
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Sadly, he was cursed.
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Well...
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I'm calling it a little early.
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Wh... you sure?
We got big plans.
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Yeah. Remember how last week
we fired up a sandwich,
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and we listened to Pink Floyd's
Dark Side of the Moon
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while watching The Wizard of Oz?
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Well, tonight,
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we're doing the same thing,
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only with "Weird Al" Yankovic's
Greatest Hits
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and Apocalypse Now.
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We'll see what happens.
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Nah, it's Kraft/Croft night:
mac and cheese and Tomb Raider.
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Biz-zow!
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NARRATOR: You see, every time
Blitz left a place,
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something amazing happened.
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Oh! I'm sorry.
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I thought this was my room.
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(giggles)
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Completely naked!
Completely naked!
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Aw, man!
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And the movie
was awesome.
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Aw, man!
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At the exact moment
Brando first appeared,
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"Weird Al" launched
right into "Eat It."
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Aw, man!
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NARRATOR:
And over the years,
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"The Curse of The Blitz"
continued.
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Well, I'm gonna call it.
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I just got Madden 2K1, and I
can't stop thinking about it.
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See you later!
Bye-bye!
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All right, bye-bye!
Okay, later!
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Good-bye!
Bye-Bye!
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(pop)
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Tap's broke!
Can't turn 'em off!
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Free beer for everyone!
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(cheering)
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Free beer for everyone!
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Free beer for everyone!
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Aw, man!
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You know what?
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Ted, go ahead-- leave early
to do something lame.
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Just don't blame us
if you become... The Blitz.
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(random groans) All
right, first of all...
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there's nothing lame
about brining a Turturkeykey,
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copyright pending.
And secondly,
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I don't believe "The Curse
of The Blitz" is real. (gasps)
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NARRATOR: Kids, I'd live
to regret those words.
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You see, the "Curse of Blitz"
could be passed
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from one person to the next,
at any moment.
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Blitz had gotten the curse from
Jerry Windheim,
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back in freshman year,
who got it years before that
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from Davey Beaterman.
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The original Blitz, Matt Blitz,
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was a guy who went to Wesleyan
back in the '60s.
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He dropped out right before
the school went co-ed.
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And then,
Thanksgiving morning...
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What the hell happened here?
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Hey! Morning, Blitz!
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Aw, man!
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No, no! Let's get
one thing straight, okay?
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I am not The Blitz.
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♪ My Blitzy lies
over the ocean ♪
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♪ My Blitzy lies
over the sea ♪
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♪ My Blitzy lies
over the ocean ♪
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♪ So bring back my
Blitzy... ♪ Please stop.
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Okay, fine.
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♪...To me. ♪
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The Gentleman!
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THE GROUP: The Gentleman!
Wait! Wait! Wait!
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What's that?
What's "The Gentleman"?
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Oh, you had to be
there, Blitz. Yes.
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I'm not The Blitz!
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(person yawning)
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Zoey?
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Morning, Blitz!
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Transcript by MY-SUBS.com
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www.MY-SUBS.com
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NARRATOR:
Kids, you remember Zoey.
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For the last two months,
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she'd been making my life hell.
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Thanks, guys!
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Last night was amazing!
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The Gentleman!
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ALL:
The Gentle...
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(all groan)
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How could you,
my best friends in the world,
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hang out with
my mortal enemy,
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then let her sleep in the tub
where I clean myself?!
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Sorry, Ted.
We can explain.
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After you Blitzed out
last night...
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I'm not The Blitz!
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LILY:
Oh, my God...
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That's Zoey!
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That's Ted's enemy.
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Which means
she's our enemy.
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Let's take
this bitch down.
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Huh? Huh?
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Who's got your back?
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Now let's have dinner!
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Finish the story, Red.
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Okay, well, we all
started brainstorming
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ways to mess with her.
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There were a lot of different
ideas kicking around.
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And then I'm just going to leave
her there... buck-naked,
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covered in candle wax,
tied to the bed.
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Barney, I know that
Ted doesn't like that girl,
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but that's a little extreme.
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Wait-- Ted doesn't
like that girl?
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Okay.
Wh...?
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Well, I got it.
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You see that silk scarf?
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I'm going
to steal it.
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Can I... help you?
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Yeah. Yeah!
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My name is Lily Aldrin.
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I'm a friend of Ted Mosby's,
so you better...
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You're Lily Aldrin?
The painter?!
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Well, yeah.
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You're amazing!
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I bought a bunch of your
paintings online.
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(gasps) That was you?! Yeah.
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Oh! Thanks!
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Look, none of us meant
for it to happen, but, well,
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we had an awesome night
with her.
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ALL:
The Gentleman!
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(whooping, applause)
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And then, the craziest thing
happened.
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(cheering)
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I missed a skateboarding dog?
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Yeah, but that
wasn't the crazy part.
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It wasn't?
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Okay, Marshall.
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Truth or dare?
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Okay, awesome.
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Well, Lily doesn't
let me do truths.
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So, dare.
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Okay.
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I dare you to send
a picture of your junk
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to a complete stranger.
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(all laughing, gasping)
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Best idea ever!
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Worst idea ever!
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My junk ended up in
some stranger's pocket.
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If there phone was on vibrate,
I basically dry-humped them.
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Ho, ho, ho, ho! Whoa!
Yay!
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Yeah.
Okay.
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Everybody shout out
random numbers.
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Um.
4, 8...
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15, 16, 23, 42!
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And... send!
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(cheering)
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Wait. Blitz was there, too?
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The Gentleman!
The Gentleman!
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Oh, I was there
for the whole thing.
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Something inside me
just said
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"Grand Theft Auto"
can wait a night.
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It was legen--
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wait for Ted to leave,
'cause he's now The Blitz--
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-- dary.
Legendary!
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I'm not The Blitz!
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I'm afraid you are, Ted.
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You see, when you left
last night,
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you changed
the course of Blitztory.
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(cheering)
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MYSTERIOUS VOICE:
Blitz...
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(mysterious theme plays)
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(gasps, chokes)
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I'm finally free!
I mean, you have no idea
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00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:39,508
what I've missed
all these years:
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The university
president's toupee
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being snatched by a hawk
at graduation,
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00:07:43,846 --> 00:07:45,981
Zeppelin reuniting
at my cousin Ira's bar mitzvah,
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00:07:45,982 --> 00:07:49,618
countless nip-slips,
crotch shots,
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00:07:49,619 --> 00:07:51,353
shooting stars
and double rainbows.
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I've missed them all!
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Well, not anymore, Blitz.
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My name's not Blitz.
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00:07:57,193 --> 00:08:00,395
My name is Steve!
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Colors seem so bright now.
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00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,205
Thank you, Blitz.
What? No!
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00:08:10,206 --> 00:08:12,341
N- n-n-n-no! N-n-no!
I'm not The Blitz!
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00:08:12,342 --> 00:08:14,593
The only thing I missed
last night was my best friends
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00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,212
stabbing me in the back by
hanging out with my worst enemy.
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Guys!
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00:08:18,681 --> 00:08:20,115
I hate Zoey!
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00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:21,883
That means you're supposed to
hate her, too!
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00:08:21,884 --> 00:08:23,385
Th-that's your rule, Lily!
216
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I tried.
217
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:25,921
Tried?!
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00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,789
Lily, do you have any idea
219
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:30,025
how many people
I've blindly hated for you?
220
00:08:30,026 --> 00:08:33,795
I hated Renée Zellweger
with a burning passion
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00:08:33,796 --> 00:08:35,130
for eight years,
222
00:08:35,131 --> 00:08:37,132
only to discover
you meant Reese Witherspoon!
223
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:40,235
Hey, I will hate her
until I get my money back
224
00:08:40,236 --> 00:08:41,603
for You, Me and Dupree!
225
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,138
That's Kate Hudson!
226
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:45,173
Oh, yeah.
That's who I hate.
227
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:46,575
Guys, we hate Kate Hudson.
228
00:08:46,576 --> 00:08:49,077
No, we hate Zoey!
(grunts)
229
00:08:49,078 --> 00:08:51,913
I'm so furious
at you all right now,
230
00:08:51,914 --> 00:08:54,950
but it's Thanksgiving, and
I have a Turturkeykey to make.
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00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:58,186
And not that I'm The Blitz,
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00:08:58,187 --> 00:09:01,089
but could everyone please come
with me into the kitchen?
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00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,258
(all murmuring)
234
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:05,227
Okay, I'm, uh,
235
00:09:05,228 --> 00:09:07,062
just gonna preheat the oven.
236
00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:08,897
The oven.
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00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:10,232
Hey, Robin,
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00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:12,667
you should dance
on the oven.
239
00:09:12,668 --> 00:09:13,985
(all agreeing, whooping)
240
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,904
ALL (chanting):
Make out with Zoey!
241
00:09:15,905 --> 00:09:19,074
Make out with Zoey!
Make out...
242
00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:28,016
Did they tell you about
the skateboarding dog?
243
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,586
It was awesome!
244
00:09:35,271 --> 00:09:38,007
Great. So not only did
you guys betray me,
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00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:40,376
but you broke my oven
on Thanksgiving?
246
00:09:40,377 --> 00:09:41,477
Full disclosure.
247
00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:43,412
We also used all your butter,
greasing up Lily
248
00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:46,348
so we could see how far we could
slide her down the hall.
249
00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:49,652
But if it helps, I reached 4G.
250
00:09:49,653 --> 00:09:52,488
It doesn't help. 4G?
251
00:09:52,489 --> 00:09:53,489
Mm-hmm.
252
00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:54,623
No.
253
00:09:54,624 --> 00:09:56,492
What-What are we supposed
to do now?
254
00:09:57,494 --> 00:09:59,795
This is
awesome!
255
00:09:59,796 --> 00:10:02,431
I'm part of this!
256
00:10:02,432 --> 00:10:03,732
Barney, I don't know
257
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,101
if the oven
is deep enough. Plus,
258
00:10:06,102 --> 00:10:09,772
it's a display
made of cardboard.
259
00:10:09,773 --> 00:10:12,341
Huh. I should probably
disconnect the gas.
260
00:10:13,543 --> 00:10:15,277
Hey, just so
you guys know,
261
00:10:15,278 --> 00:10:17,946
there was a tiny explosion
at the sewage treatment plant
262
00:10:17,947 --> 00:10:19,615
across the street
from our apartment,
263
00:10:19,616 --> 00:10:21,517
but I'm sure
it's fine by now.
264
00:10:21,518 --> 00:10:22,885
This is awesome!
265
00:10:22,886 --> 00:10:24,019
It's not awesome!
266
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:27,056
I think the smaller
turkey just tried
267
00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:30,359
to crawl further
inside the bigger turkey.
268
00:10:31,728 --> 00:10:33,562
Um...
269
00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:36,732
Um... I'm have...
270
00:10:36,733 --> 00:10:38,951
I'm having trouble breathing!
271
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:42,904
Mom keeps an extra
litter box in here.
272
00:10:43,757 --> 00:10:45,574
There you go.
273
00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:47,209
Good as new.
274
00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:50,345
Oh. Hey, Ginger.
275
00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:54,600
Ted, you're not
gonna like this,
276
00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:56,468
but we do have one other option.
277
00:10:57,587 --> 00:10:59,021
Hey, you guys
278
00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:01,123
should come to my house
for Thanksgiving.
279
00:11:01,124 --> 00:11:03,592
My husband always spends
it with his daughter,
280
00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:05,194
so I'm going to be alone anyway.
281
00:11:05,195 --> 00:11:06,779
Could we bring Ted?
282
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,631
It's Thanksgiving.
283
00:11:09,632 --> 00:11:10,733
What the hell?
284
00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:14,837
(group cheering)
285
00:11:14,838 --> 00:11:16,789
No. Absolutely not.
286
00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:18,624
Come on. Give her a chance.
287
00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:20,442
Ted, you violated a dead turkey
288
00:11:20,443 --> 00:11:22,161
with another dead turkey.
289
00:11:22,162 --> 00:11:23,912
Don't let that be in vain.
290
00:11:23,913 --> 00:11:25,948
Guys? Wait a minute.
291
00:11:25,949 --> 00:11:27,416
Where's Barney?
292
00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:28,917
(chuckles)
293
00:11:28,918 --> 00:11:31,754
And here's the twist, Babaka.
294
00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:36,325
Because Ted left early,
he's now The Blitz!
295
00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:38,560
But Barney,
now you left the group.
296
00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:41,430
Wouldn't that put you in danger
of becoming The Blitz yourself?
297
00:11:41,431 --> 00:11:43,198
No. I c...
298
00:11:43,199 --> 00:11:45,300
Because...
299
00:11:45,301 --> 00:11:47,436
Step on it.
300
00:11:47,437 --> 00:11:49,438
(laughing)
301
00:11:49,439 --> 00:11:50,856
You missed it.
302
00:11:50,857 --> 00:11:51,940
Oh, my goodness.
303
00:11:51,941 --> 00:11:53,242
Our cab took
a wrong turn.
304
00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:55,210
We were in the
Thanksgiving Day parade!
305
00:11:55,211 --> 00:11:58,247
Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike
and he sang "Twist and Shout!"
306
00:11:58,248 --> 00:11:59,832
But he's The Blitz.
307
00:11:59,833 --> 00:12:02,951
No. I'm not The Blitz.
308
00:12:02,952 --> 00:12:04,319
I'm The Bueller.
309
00:12:05,121 --> 00:12:06,255
You know what this means.
310
00:12:06,256 --> 00:12:07,923
You're The Blitz.
311
00:12:08,691 --> 00:12:12,377
MYSTERIOUS VOICE:
Blitz...
312
00:12:14,364 --> 00:12:15,964
Oh, God, no!
313
00:12:15,965 --> 00:12:17,382
Life moves
pretty fast, Barney.
314
00:12:17,383 --> 00:12:19,668
If you don't stop and
look around once in a while,
315
00:12:19,669 --> 00:12:20,969
you might miss it.
316
00:12:21,538 --> 00:12:23,305
Chicka-chicka!
317
00:12:25,842 --> 00:12:27,860
Happy Thanksgiving!
318
00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,179
Ted.
319
00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,713
Zoey.
320
00:12:32,749 --> 00:12:36,485
Best friend alert!
321
00:12:39,155 --> 00:12:42,090
Okay, the Turturkeykey
is officially cooking.
322
00:12:42,091 --> 00:12:43,859
Oh, God, that is disgusting!
323
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:47,162
Okay, guys,
that's starting to hurt.
324
00:12:47,163 --> 00:12:48,463
No... no, Ted.
325
00:12:48,464 --> 00:12:50,899
Random number guy just
sent me his wang back.
326
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,134
Wow.
327
00:12:52,135 --> 00:12:55,554
You sent a wang out,
and you got a wang back.
328
00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:56,738
It's a boom-a-wang.
329
00:12:56,739 --> 00:12:58,207
Nice.
Thank you.
330
00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,775
No, I meant the wang.
331
00:12:59,776 --> 00:13:01,577
Barney, could you
get me some more ice?
332
00:13:01,578 --> 00:13:03,679
Sure.
333
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,714
But... no one move
while I'm gone.
334
00:13:05,715 --> 00:13:07,216
(whispering):
I'm scared.
335
00:13:07,217 --> 00:13:08,183
You're safe.
336
00:13:08,184 --> 00:13:09,568
It's okay to leave the room.
337
00:13:09,569 --> 00:13:11,119
You have to actually
leave the building
338
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,254
for something cool to happen.
339
00:13:12,255 --> 00:13:13,755
Thanks.
340
00:13:13,756 --> 00:13:16,625
You're the only one
who's nice to me about this.
341
00:13:18,778 --> 00:13:20,963
Okay, I got to test this.
342
00:13:25,034 --> 00:13:26,301
(all yelling happily)
343
00:13:26,302 --> 00:13:28,103
What happened?
344
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,505
You missed it!
345
00:13:30,506 --> 00:13:32,207
Dude, you walked
out of the room,
346
00:13:32,208 --> 00:13:35,777
the laws of physics stopped
and the laws of awesome tripled.
347
00:13:36,713 --> 00:13:39,248
Aw, man!
You said I could leave the room!
348
00:13:39,249 --> 00:13:41,383
I just wanted to see
something cool happen.
349
00:13:42,018 --> 00:13:43,285
I'm sorry.
350
00:13:43,286 --> 00:13:45,554
But I was on that island
for what seems like eternity.
351
00:13:45,555 --> 00:13:47,589
I'm going to enjoy
things on the other side.
352
00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:49,808
No! Y-You...
353
00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:51,093
Robin, Robin.
354
00:13:51,094 --> 00:13:53,729
I will pay you to be The Blitz.
355
00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:55,814
$100! No-- $10,000.
356
00:13:55,815 --> 00:13:57,199
No-- 60 bucks.
357
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,268
That's a lot of money
for someone like you.
358
00:13:59,269 --> 00:14:02,371
Dude, The Blitz isn't something
that can be bought or sold.
359
00:14:02,372 --> 00:14:04,273
Yeah, it's not like
Ted's integrity.
360
00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:05,540
Oh, what was that?
361
00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:07,442
I was distracted by
the four-caret diamond
362
00:14:07,443 --> 00:14:09,111
your 53-year-old
husband bought you.
363
00:14:09,112 --> 00:14:10,312
Facial!
364
00:14:10,313 --> 00:14:11,513
Now, if you'll excuse me,
365
00:14:11,514 --> 00:14:13,315
I have a turturkeykey
to baste.
366
00:14:13,316 --> 00:14:14,416
I'm coming
with you.
367
00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:16,752
No... I baste alone.
368
00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:18,453
Oh, I'm sure
you're a master baster, Ted.
369
00:14:18,454 --> 00:14:20,422
Word play. Loving it.
370
00:14:20,423 --> 00:14:21,490
But relax.
371
00:14:21,491 --> 00:14:22,491
I've got a ton of sides
372
00:14:22,492 --> 00:14:23,959
to heat up
since my plans fell through.
373
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,560
Who canceled? Your coven?
374
00:14:25,561 --> 00:14:27,996
Coven. Group of witches.
Boom.
375
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,666
Yeah. They were worn out from
putting that spell on your hair.
376
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,267
Oh! Serve returned.
377
00:14:32,268 --> 00:14:33,535
Are you happy?
378
00:14:33,536 --> 00:14:34,870
You're ruining Thanksgiving.
379
00:14:34,871 --> 00:14:36,471
Well, you're not exactly
who I thought
380
00:14:36,472 --> 00:14:38,040
I'd be spending
Thanksgiving with, either.
381
00:14:39,158 --> 00:14:41,193
God, I'm so happy to be here.
382
00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:43,478
My face hurts from smiling.
383
00:14:43,479 --> 00:14:45,146
Oh...
I'm sorry, Lily.
384
00:14:45,147 --> 00:14:46,782
I'm just never going
to like that woman.
385
00:14:46,783 --> 00:14:48,200
Ted, give her a chance.
386
00:14:48,201 --> 00:14:49,551
Enemies can't become friends.
387
00:14:49,552 --> 00:14:50,886
Yes, they can.
388
00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:51,920
Right, guys?
389
00:14:51,921 --> 00:14:53,872
(all murmuring in agreement)
390
00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:55,323
No, no, no.
You guys can't be objective.
391
00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:56,658
You still feel guilty
about last night.
392
00:14:56,659 --> 00:14:57,726
Well, let's get
an outside opinion.
393
00:14:57,727 --> 00:14:58,760
Who are we gonna--
394
00:14:58,761 --> 00:15:00,495
"Dear Wang Guy..."
Oh.
395
00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:03,398
"Can enemies
ever be friends?
396
00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:05,000
Just wondering."
397
00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:06,501
Really?
398
00:15:06,502 --> 00:15:09,237
Wang Guy?
We're asking Wang Guy?
399
00:15:09,238 --> 00:15:10,772
He's bold and uninhibited,
400
00:15:10,773 --> 00:15:12,140
so why not?
401
00:15:12,141 --> 00:15:15,410
And guys, you know what?
For fun, why don't we ask him
402
00:15:15,411 --> 00:15:17,179
what he does for a living?
403
00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:19,181
Wouldn't that be fun?
404
00:15:19,182 --> 00:15:20,849
Just ask...
Aww.
405
00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:23,385
You've got a little crush
on Wang Guy, don't you?
406
00:15:23,386 --> 00:15:25,787
What? No. Shut up.
407
00:15:25,788 --> 00:15:27,155
I hate him.
(laughs)
408
00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:28,190
(cell phone chimes)
Oh, look.
409
00:15:28,191 --> 00:15:29,925
We got an answer.
Here it is.
410
00:15:29,926 --> 00:15:32,995
"Yes, enemies
can become friends.
411
00:15:32,996 --> 00:15:35,697
"Remember what Gandhi said.
412
00:15:35,698 --> 00:15:38,467
'Be the change you want
to see in the world.'"
413
00:15:38,468 --> 00:15:41,136
Uh, did Wang Guy
just quote Gandhi?
414
00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,871
(laughing):
That is amazing.
415
00:15:42,872 --> 00:15:44,389
And I was here for it.
416
00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:47,376
Now Zoey is The Blitz.
Ha, ha!
417
00:15:47,377 --> 00:15:49,878
(weak laugh)
Burn on her.
418
00:15:51,014 --> 00:15:52,247
Come on, man.
419
00:15:52,248 --> 00:15:54,082
Don't be that Blitz.
420
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,784
I'm not any Blitz!
421
00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:56,952
You're The Blitz!
422
00:15:56,953 --> 00:15:58,553
You're all The Blitz!
423
00:15:58,554 --> 00:16:01,590
I slept with that cute
Indian girl who cuts my hair!
424
00:16:01,591 --> 00:16:03,458
What does that have
to do with anything?
425
00:16:03,459 --> 00:16:04,559
Nothing! I just forgot
426
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,496
to brag about
it before!
427
00:16:07,497 --> 00:16:09,831
Guys, despite the wit and wisdom
of Wang Guy,
428
00:16:09,832 --> 00:16:12,200
Zoey and I are never going
to be friends.
429
00:16:12,201 --> 00:16:15,237
We're just here for
her oven and that's it.
430
00:16:15,238 --> 00:16:16,471
Whoa!
Oh, my God!
431
00:16:16,472 --> 00:16:19,274
Did you do that on purpose?
432
00:16:19,275 --> 00:16:20,709
What? No. It was
an accident.
433
00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:21,777
Oh, yeah. Well,
like this is.
434
00:16:21,778 --> 00:16:23,111
Oh, great. Real mature.
435
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,946
Yeah, well,
you started it.
436
00:16:24,947 --> 00:16:26,131
(Ted and Zoey shouting)
437
00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:28,316
Just stop it!
438
00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:31,653
God, can't you two just
stop fighting for one day?
439
00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:34,823
Like, when
the Roadrunner and the Coyote
440
00:16:34,824 --> 00:16:36,792
clocked out
and had a beer together?
441
00:16:36,793 --> 00:16:39,828
Or-Or-Or Tom and Jerry
shared a cup of coffee.
442
00:16:39,829 --> 00:16:41,630
Lily, those are
cartoon characters,
443
00:16:41,631 --> 00:16:43,565
and I'm pretty sure
you're making up episodes.
444
00:16:43,566 --> 00:16:46,334
And if Zoey is a
cartoon character,
445
00:16:46,335 --> 00:16:48,503
she's Cinderella's
evil stepmother!
446
00:16:48,504 --> 00:16:50,739
Oh, get out.
447
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:51,907
All of you, out!
448
00:16:51,908 --> 00:16:53,475
But it's Thanksgiving.
449
00:16:53,476 --> 00:16:55,310
And I'm a part of it.
450
00:16:55,311 --> 00:16:56,745
Out!
451
00:16:59,282 --> 00:17:02,050
Wait... Where's Barney?
452
00:17:02,051 --> 00:17:03,835
Hey, guys, the most amazing
thing just happened
453
00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:05,320
to me in that other roo...
454
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:10,125
Aw, man.
455
00:17:13,435 --> 00:17:15,302
I don't get it.
Why'd she just
456
00:17:15,303 --> 00:17:16,820
kick us out like that?
457
00:17:16,821 --> 00:17:18,472
NARRATOR:
And then the cab driver said
458
00:17:18,473 --> 00:17:20,607
the last thing any
of us wanted to hear.
459
00:17:20,608 --> 00:17:21,942
Where to?
460
00:17:23,078 --> 00:17:25,079
(sighs)
461
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,947
I guess we're going home.
462
00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:32,653
Yeah. I don't know
where that is.
463
00:17:33,855 --> 00:17:36,023
(sighs)
464
00:17:42,163 --> 00:17:44,431
Lily, where'd you get that?
465
00:17:44,432 --> 00:17:46,500
Oh.
466
00:17:46,501 --> 00:17:47,768
When Zoey booted us,
467
00:17:47,769 --> 00:17:50,237
it made me want to steal
something of hers again.
468
00:17:50,238 --> 00:17:53,891
Apartment full of designer
labels, and what do I grab?
469
00:17:53,892 --> 00:17:57,478
"Happy Turkey Day, Hannah.
Love, Zoey."
470
00:17:57,479 --> 00:18:00,347
I wonder who Hannah is.
471
00:18:04,085 --> 00:18:06,720
Hey, you guys should come
to my house for Thanksgiving.
472
00:18:06,721 --> 00:18:07,821
My husband always
473
00:18:07,822 --> 00:18:08,956
spends it with his daughter,
474
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,557
so I'm going
to be alone, anyway.
475
00:18:10,558 --> 00:18:11,992
Well, you're not exactly
who I thought
476
00:18:11,993 --> 00:18:13,627
I'd be spending
Thanksgiving with, either.
477
00:18:13,628 --> 00:18:15,629
And if Zoey is a
cartoon character,
478
00:18:15,630 --> 00:18:17,798
she's Cinderella's
evil stepmother!
479
00:18:17,799 --> 00:18:19,700
Get out!
480
00:18:19,701 --> 00:18:21,268
All of you, out!
481
00:18:23,671 --> 00:18:25,723
We have to go back to Zoey's.
482
00:18:27,575 --> 00:18:30,010
You gotta throw me
some addresses, buddy.
483
00:18:32,714 --> 00:18:34,882
(Zoey gasps)
Oh, God.
484
00:18:34,883 --> 00:18:37,084
What are you doing here?
485
00:18:37,085 --> 00:18:38,552
Barney let us in.
486
00:18:39,421 --> 00:18:40,587
Barney was here?
487
00:18:40,588 --> 00:18:41,755
I was walking around half-naked.
488
00:18:41,756 --> 00:18:43,657
Aw, man!
489
00:18:43,658 --> 00:18:45,793
Wait. Which half?
490
00:18:45,794 --> 00:18:48,112
Look, I'm sorry your
stepdaughter didn't want
491
00:18:48,113 --> 00:18:49,730
to spend
Thanksgiving with you.
492
00:18:49,731 --> 00:18:51,365
How do you know that?
493
00:18:51,366 --> 00:18:52,699
I just do.
494
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:54,268
It must be tough.
495
00:18:54,269 --> 00:18:58,038
It was the first Thanksgiving
Hannah agreed to spend with me,
496
00:18:58,039 --> 00:19:01,875
and then at the last minute,
she changed her mind.
497
00:19:02,811 --> 00:19:04,311
She hates my guts.
498
00:19:06,181 --> 00:19:07,414
I get that.
499
00:19:07,415 --> 00:19:08,382
(chuckles)
500
00:19:08,383 --> 00:19:11,585
Uh, you should
hang on to this.
501
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:13,137
You can give it
to her next year.
502
00:19:13,138 --> 00:19:15,722
Yeah...
503
00:19:15,723 --> 00:19:17,191
Right.
504
00:19:17,192 --> 00:19:19,393
Next year.
505
00:19:19,394 --> 00:19:20,694
Hey, you never know.
506
00:19:20,695 --> 00:19:22,763
People don't
stay enemies forever.
507
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:27,034
And that's the story of how
Zoey and I became friends.
508
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,068
ALL:
Cheers.
509
00:19:28,069 --> 00:19:29,570
Cheers.
510
00:19:29,571 --> 00:19:30,604
Before we eat,
511
00:19:30,605 --> 00:19:31,872
we should take a group picture
512
00:19:31,873 --> 00:19:33,307
and send it to Wang Guy.
513
00:19:33,308 --> 00:19:34,408
Ooh. Oh. Great idea.
514
00:19:34,409 --> 00:19:35,342
All right.
515
00:19:35,343 --> 00:19:37,478
Okay.
516
00:19:37,479 --> 00:19:38,679
Here we go.
517
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,614
One, two, three.
518
00:19:40,615 --> 00:19:41,715
(shutter clicks)
519
00:19:41,716 --> 00:19:45,519
Ted, that is the
best-looking turturkeykey
520
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:46,820
I have ever seen.
521
00:19:46,821 --> 00:19:48,222
Yeah.
Yeah.
522
00:19:48,223 --> 00:19:49,690
Thank you.
Let's just hope it tastes
523
00:19:49,691 --> 00:19:50,691
as good as it looks.
524
00:19:50,692 --> 00:19:52,025
NARRATOR:
It didn't.
525
00:19:52,026 --> 00:19:54,094
It tasted wrong.
526
00:19:54,095 --> 00:19:55,345
Oops.
We forgot to light the candles.
527
00:19:55,346 --> 00:19:57,865
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
528
00:19:57,866 --> 00:19:59,733
And just as Barney looked away,
529
00:19:59,734 --> 00:20:01,969
it happened.
530
00:20:29,230 --> 00:20:31,932
ALL:
The Gentleman!
531
00:20:31,933 --> 00:20:34,635
What happened?
I saw it!
532
00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:38,021
Aw, come on, Blitz.
Now it's just sad.
533
00:20:38,022 --> 00:20:40,207
Aw, man.
534
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:44,994
Oh, go ahead.
535
00:20:44,995 --> 00:20:47,329
I forgot my jacket.
536
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,498
Oh, hold the door!
537
00:20:51,935 --> 00:20:53,435
(elevator bell dings)
538
00:20:53,436 --> 00:20:55,070
(fabric rips, woman screams)
539
00:20:55,071 --> 00:20:56,739
BARNEY:
Thank you, God!
540
00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:59,608
Aw, man!
541
00:20:59,609 --> 00:21:01,076
MYSTERIOUS VOICE:
Blitz.
542
00:21:01,077 --> 00:21:03,712
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