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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:04,703 ♪♪ 2 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:13,879 All right, Jeremy, let's reboot. 3 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:17,587 Wait, Aganon. I haven't finished adjusting her emotional settings. 4 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,196 Shoot! I got a shock! 5 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,798 I don't like this. Let's stop now. We can't stop now. 6 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:26,025 My mother'll be home soon and she'll have a negative reaction if she finds we created 7 00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:28,560 the perfect female robot. 8 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,630 Hey, sailors, what's up? How about a good time? 9 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,343 Oh, cool. Oh, my gosh, Jeremy. 10 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,435 She's coming on to us faster than a 5-gig processor. 11 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,944 What did you set her desire levels at? 25. 12 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,572 25! 25. 13 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,401 Are you unstable? Maybe. 14 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,177 Do you know what I put in her desire memory? Porn. 15 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,024 Pornographics? Thousands of it. 16 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,647 Thousands of porn. 17 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,460 Who wants to touch my butt? 18 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,694 She's awesome. 19 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,785 Oh, my God, if my mother finds out 20 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,455 I have a woman of questionable character, she'll lose it. 21 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,768 Do you wanna touch my butt or not? No. 22 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,360 Yes. Yes. Yes. No. No. Jeremy, no. 23 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:05,630 Yes, Aganon! Everything will be fine as long as we can control her mind and emotions. 24 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,544 You two are just a coupla ing geeks. 25 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,802 Oh, my God. Jeremy, she just swore in my house. 26 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,782 Shut off her power. I did, I did. 27 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,317 - She's not responding. - What the? 28 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:17,076 Oh, my God. Now you're swearing in my house. 29 00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,056 Will you shut the up and help me? 30 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,880 I... Oh, my God. So long, mother ers. 31 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,326 Where you going? Stop. 32 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,951 I think I hear my mother coming. Uh-oh. 33 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,886 I think I hear my mother coming! 34 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,000 - My mother! - Oh, oh... 35 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,391 Uh, Aganon, I'm home. 36 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,926 What's going on... up there? 37 00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:37,541 Who the is that? Shh. It's my mother. 38 00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,798 What? Not talking to you. 39 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,601 Stick to the script, please. Oh, sorry. 40 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,002 Go sit down, Ruth. 41 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,848 - Ruth? - Who the is Ruth? 42 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:48,140 That's your name. Your name is Ruth the Robot. 43 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,120 No, my name's not Ruth, okay, nerdo? 44 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,777 My name is Sexy. Sexy O'Sullivan. 45 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,806 Aganon, why can't we control her? She's Irish? 46 00:01:55,849 --> 00:02:00,252 Aganon... I'm coming upstairs to see what you two trouble makers are up to. 47 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,454 Oh, ! 48 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,938 No, I didn't know the language content of... 49 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,109 - Well, actually, yes. - Okay, I was in it... 50 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,234 I had a small role in it, but it was off-camera stuff. 51 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,046 I wasn't even there, you know? 52 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,316 You know, I think I have another call. 53 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,917 Can you hold on a second? Hello? 54 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,785 Uh, hello... Hi, Mrs. Oliver. 55 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,410 I have a very bad problem to tell you. Uh-huh. 56 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,847 Junior sees the movie. He says a bad word... Okay, you know, I'm... 57 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,761 Lemme finish. He said bad words to the kitty cat... 58 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:35,521 and the kitty cat will not come outta the closet. Could you hold on a second? 59 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:38,201 Ing Brendon. Hi, Mrs. Mueller, have a seat. 60 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:42,093 I got two people ahead of you, but you'll be able to yell at me shortly. 61 00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:46,465 You're right. Cursing is an excellent way to convey emotion, but not always acceptable. 62 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,212 Yeah, but in the movies it's acceptable. But not for kids. 63 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,114 Swearing when you're young can become a crutch, 64 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:54,083 and you'll get lazy and your vocabulary will turn to. 65 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,907 But I don't swear all the time. 66 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,255 I know, but this incident makes us both look bad. 67 00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,023 Not both of us. Both of us. 68 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:03,193 That's why I've invited all the parents to come over and watch 69 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,697 a new, cleaned-up version of the movie next week. 70 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:06,918 What? 71 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,321 And I'll have to read the script before you shoot. 72 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,269 You're gonna censor me? I'm just gonna take out the potty-mouth words. 73 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:15,093 Why are you cracking down like this? And also, here. 74 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,873 What's that? A curse jar. 75 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:20,299 What's a curse jar? Every time you swear, you put money in the jar. 76 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,879 At the end of the week, we donate it to charity. 77 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,382 No. Here's a list of curses and their monetary values. 78 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,206 Holy! The F-word is $3? 79 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,918 Too much? Yeah. 80 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,375 Then don't say it. 81 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,945 I gotta agree with your mom. Cursing is a sign of ignorance. 82 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,292 Oh, ref! Ouch. 83 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,682 Please! Whoa. 84 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,118 There's no place for cursing in a civilized society. Yeah. 85 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:42,599 I'm telling you this because I'm a coach. I know. 86 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:43,833 You're just a kid. Yeah. 87 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,702 You can't go around cursing now. Yeah. 88 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,205 It'll ruin you when you get older. But do you think... 89 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,540 What the was that, ref! Oh. 90 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:54,099 Are you taking a! Is that what you're doing! Or are you making a call! 91 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:58,169 'Cause if you can make a call, make a call, but don't take a out there! 92 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:02,040 - That's taking a! - That's taking a in my ing mouth! 93 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:05,076 And I don't wanna eat your, you! 94 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,278 Wow. 95 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,757 Unless, Brendon... Yeah? 96 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,427 Unless you know how to do it right. Which you do. 97 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,429 Obviously. Yeah, my ears are still ringing. 98 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:14,497 Yeah. It's called creative use of words. Right. 99 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,122 It's like poetry, like Robert Frost. Right. 100 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,259 "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy ing Evening." Right. 101 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,272 That kinda. That's good stuff. 102 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,895 But it's my poetry. Right. 103 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,109 It's the everyday man's poetry. Yeah, yeah. 104 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:29,134 'Cause we can't find good metaphor like the woods. Yeah. 105 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:32,170 Or the snow or the horse or that kinda stuff. Right. 106 00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,317 Oh, ing me, ref! 107 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,752 Hey, guys. Erik. 108 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,121 Yeah. Long time, no see. Want a ing donut? 109 00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,922 Uh... I'm good, thanks. 110 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,613 Hey, where's Melissa? 111 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,693 She's in the net. She's playing goalie today? 112 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,250 No, she's stuck in the net. 113 00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,697 She's been there for like an hour. Hi, Dad! 114 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,621 Hi, sweetheart. Go... Go get 'em. 115 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,723 If in fact that's what you wanna do. 116 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,803 So, Erik, what are you doing with yourself? 117 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:57,162 Well, I'm dropping the kids off at Brendon's... Melissa, get back in the game. 118 00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,442 Game's over, coach. We lost. Oh. Good game. 119 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,932 Hey, you kids ready? 120 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,112 Where's Jason? He said he'd meet us later. 121 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,704 So, Erik, let's do something after you drop the kids off. 122 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,584 You wanna go out? I'm doing something. 123 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,274 I'm going to my journal-writing class. 124 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:12,644 Blow it off. We'll go to the track. I like my class, John. 125 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:16,080 It's a wonderful exercise that allows me to get in touch with my emotions... 126 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,060 Great, well, let's go to the movies instead. 127 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,818 No, because I-I'm going to my class. 128 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,299 I... See, I already have a legal pad. Mm. 129 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,089 Well, let's grab a beer. We'll go to a bar... 130 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,104 Let's go to a... like a theme bar. I'm sorry, John. 131 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,473 I'm going to my journal-writing class. Pfft. Boring. 132 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,966 Let's play mini-golf. Go bowling. Watch a game. Go to a rodeo. 133 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,501 No. I'm gonna stay here. 134 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,648 There's an art festival along the river. 135 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,207 We can get a glass of wine, put out a blanket, you know? 136 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,721 Yeah. Buy a salami... and some cheese. 137 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,445 Hey, I didn't ask you to come. 138 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,514 In fact, I'd prefer to take the class by myself. 139 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,016 Hey, all women, huh? Yeah. 140 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,230 Now I see why you take this class, Erik. 141 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,821 Huh? You dog. 142 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,900 You dirty dog. Ruff! 143 00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:00,002 Let's see your teeth, you dog. 144 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,794 No, but I'm not in it for the women. Oh, come on. 145 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,407 You're in it for the women, obviously. 146 00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:05,831 No, that's... 147 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,500 Only for the journal writing, and that is the truth. 148 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,236 Jason. Finally. Where've you been? Walking. 149 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,971 You were supposed to pick me up. 150 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,585 Melissa said you were gonna meet us here. 151 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,209 No. Melissa, I told you I needed a ride. You did? 152 00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,022 Sorry. I guess I wasn't listening. 153 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,715 Sorry? Well, sorry doesn't cut it, Melissa. I'd like an apology. 154 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,149 Okay, I apologize. 155 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,664 You've been acting kinda weird lately. Is everything okay? 156 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:32,023 Yeah, everything's fine. Everything's just fine. Let's get back to work, guys. 157 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,325 Stop looking at me. 158 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,562 Well... I see we have a new face in the class. 159 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,342 Would you like to introduce yourself? 160 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:43,034 You bet. Name's John McGuirk, and my buddy Erik dragged me here. 161 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,614 Mm. So let's get to it. 162 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,304 Oh! Okay! 163 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,451 I should probably mention that I'm single... 164 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:52,444 Uh, 38-ish... and I'm in pretty good shape. 165 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,624 - I play a lotta soccer. - Wow! 166 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,793 And I'm a journal freak. Oh! 167 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,461 I'm like a fanatic journal lover. 168 00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,062 Well, that's great. Yeah. 169 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,087 We'll be looking forward to hearing one of your passages next week. 170 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:06,469 You want me to read... from... I thought journals were, like, private. 171 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,160 Well, you only read what you want others to hear. 172 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:12,230 All right. So let's listen to some journals! 173 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:15,099 How about starting off with Sondra. 174 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:19,037 So... I was dreading euthanizing Asia... 175 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:22,340 Asia was my cat's name in case anyone... forgot. 176 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:27,312 "I had begun to prepare myself to hold Asia during her death... 177 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:31,716 "To hold her until her normally busy paws went limp. 178 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,285 "Unfortunately, I never got that chance 179 00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,288 "because Asia jumped out of her carrier 180 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,325 "and got hit by... a... 181 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,327 ca... car." 182 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,197 Seems pretty vulnerable right now. Yeah. 183 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,612 I should probably... ask her out. 184 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,771 Okay, scene eight. Brendon? What's with the jar of money? 185 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,240 Can I have it? Uh, it's a curse jar to stop me from swearing. 186 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,778 If I use a curse word like, uh... 187 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,646 then I have to... I know. 188 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,782 Then I have to put money in. Yeah. 189 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,228 Say, uh, that thing again. 190 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,654 Brendon, stop. 191 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,067 Don't overdo it. 192 00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,836 Oh, my God, I'm gonna pee. 193 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,170 I don't trust my father! 194 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,805 I think he's seeing another woman. 195 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,396 Uh... Um... 196 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,876 Weeeird... Whaaat...? 197 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,900 Weird... Weird. What... What. 198 00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:24,380 Hi. I liked your journal thing. That was good. 199 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,637 Thanks. 200 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,718 You wanna go get a drink after the class, or even now? 201 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,942 No. Oh. 202 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,243 I didn't take this class to meet someone, okay? 203 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,646 I took it to examine my soul. 204 00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:38,182 I suggest you... go find yourself. Look... 205 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,219 I am beginning to not want to go out with you, so... 206 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,099 I suggest you turn this around. 207 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,504 "And then he said..." What are you doing? 208 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,072 I'm writing about it in my journal. Right now? 209 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:51,816 Yeah. Can't you wait? 210 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,746 Uh, name's John McGuirk. 211 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,570 M, C, Big G, 212 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,339 U, I... Wait a minute. 213 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,408 Wait, M, C, Big G... 214 00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,243 You know what? You write it. 215 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:08,713 Uh... "then I took her journal 216 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,850 "and started writing in it. 217 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,654 "This is weird, comma, I said, 218 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,990 "and wrote, wait a minute, 219 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,893 "this is getting too weir..." 220 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,262 You're welcome. 221 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,264 Uh... you wanna go out? 222 00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:27,832 What's so funny? 223 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,512 Hey, you. In, uh... 224 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,714 With the braid. Wanna go out? 225 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,551 Jeez, Erik, this is gonna be tougher than I thought. 226 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,919 - Erik? - Erik. 227 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,543 Oh, my G... 228 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,156 Erik. Yes? 229 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,346 What is going on with that woman... and you? 230 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,427 Y-You mean Joviana? Joviana? 231 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,828 Is that her name? Yeah. 232 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,151 What is she, a hippy? 233 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,065 It's an unusual name, I admit that. 234 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,089 You shouldn't make out in class. It's rude. 235 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,870 You know what? I can't stop thinking about this woman. Mm-hm. 236 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,728 I met her last semester when I first took the class. Yeah? 237 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,708 And I haven't seen her again until tonight. 238 00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,633 Well, why not? I mean, seems like you two get along well, 239 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,668 As in, you were making out with her. 240 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,549 It's because of Melissa that I can't... see her more often. 241 00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:10,408 Wow. Melissa doesn't like the idea of you replacing her mom, right? 242 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:13,011 No, she just doesn't like the idea of me dating. 243 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,959 She'd kill me if she found out. I don't think that's true. 244 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,548 I mean, Melissa couldn't kill you. 245 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:18,795 No, she could. She's vicious. 246 00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,719 Hi, Daddy. I missed you. 247 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,520 I missed you too, sweetheart. 248 00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,833 Hey, are your lips swollen? 249 00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,234 What are you talking... 250 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,792 I smell perfume. Me too. That is so weird. 251 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,528 What's... What is going on? Why are your lips all puffy? 252 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:33,564 Um... because I was inflating beach balls all night. 253 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,011 You were kissing someone, weren't you? 254 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,278 What...? What, kissing? 255 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,814 Liar! 256 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,381 Sweetie... Just go home! 257 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,873 Go home! I'm sleeping over at Brendon's. 258 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,175 For the rest of my life! What? 259 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,788 Brendon, I'll be upstairs. 260 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,947 Please bring a glass of water when you come up. Wha...? 261 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:52,183 You know, you have to take a stand sometimes. Yeah, it's tough. 262 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,986 Families are, um, families are tough. 263 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,956 It's so difficult. Just the options... Yeah. 264 00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,257 Every day shrink. 265 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,626 I know. What I can do in a given day. 266 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,039 Wanna go to a titty bar? 267 00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,783 - Sure. - I'm in! 268 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,937 ♪♪ 269 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:37,328 It's been almost a week. I don't know what to do. She won't talk to me. 270 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,876 Loan me your journal. You wanna borrow my journal? Why? 271 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,767 I'm supposed to read from mine tomorrow, and I haven't written anything. 272 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:46,938 John, you can't copy from my journal. This is my life. Erik, shut up. 273 00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,408 Okay. I wanna see how you arranged yours. What the setup was. 274 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:53,255 Look, I'm sorry. I'm not comfortable lending you my journal. 275 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:58,149 All right, I'll tell you what. Lend it to me and I'll tell you how to get Melissa back. 276 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,752 Okay. Here's the journal. Thank you. 277 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,922 How do I get her back? I don't know. But I fooled you. 278 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,357 You son of a bitch. Sorry. See you in class. 279 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,959 Hi guys. And girl. 280 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,706 - Oh, yeah, and girl. - Hi. 281 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,741 Guys, this is a private production meeting. 282 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,475 - So if you don't mind. - Jason. 283 00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,201 Oops. Oops. Put in 50 cents, Walter. 284 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,147 - Okay. - 50 cents for. 285 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,138 You guys have a curse jar too? 286 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,618 Yeah. We heard about Brendon's, so we started our own. 287 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:26,010 Everybody's been talking about Brendon's curse word jar. And we want one too! 288 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,558 We wanted one and we got one! We wanted it and we got it! 289 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,393 It's ing awesome. Fifty ing cents, Walter. 290 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,017 You too. Oh, yeah. 291 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,553 But guys, the idea is not to swear. 292 00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,056 Right. you. Yeah, you. 293 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,491 - And you, Perry. - Yeah, you, Walter. 294 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,005 Anyway, um... Brendon, before we start... 295 00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,629 Bye! Bye, guys. 296 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,899 You know what, Brendon? Sorry to bring this up again, but... Yeah. 297 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:51,803 Can I ask you not to leave a glob of toothpaste in the sink every morning? 298 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,372 It's really disgusting. 299 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,819 Brendon, you didn't swear. Trust me, I did. 300 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,643 And Jason? Uh-huh? 301 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,858 After you shower, you might not wanna leave your wet towels on the floor. 302 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,525 - It's kind of unsanitary. - All right. 303 00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,427 I gotta go. I'll see you guys tonight. 304 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,118 She is driving me crazy. 305 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,965 She also shouldn't watch me shower. 306 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:12,957 - I have to get her out of my ing house... - before I go broke or insane. 307 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:16,338 Why doesn't she just go home? Doesn't she realize she's not wanted? 308 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,630 Jason, um... you don't have to stay at my house every night either. 309 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:23,434 Yeah, right, funny. Good one. 310 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:27,216 Look, can you talk to her? No. No more talking. 311 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,685 She needs to be taken care of. What are you suggesting? 312 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,520 I have a plan. I don't wanna know. 313 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:34,223 You won't be involved. I'll handle it. What are you gonna do? 314 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,925 I don't wanna know. I'll handle it. 315 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,229 Gives me the creeps. 316 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,184 Hey, coach. 317 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,931 What're you reading? Erik's journal. His private journal. 318 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,332 Mm. May I? Help yourself. 319 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,622 Thank you. 320 00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,803 Tell me if this is a good opening line. Okay. 321 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:51,896 "And so begins my journey inward. My journal to the center of McGuirk." 322 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:55,300 Oh, yeah, that's like a... You know what that reminds me of? 323 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,369 That movie... Journey to the Center of the Earth. 324 00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:01,139 Yeah. It's supposed to, idiot. I'm being clever. Oh. 325 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:05,143 And I'm gonna be reading this in front of a roomful of women. 326 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:09,280 Oh, yeah. So I wanna impress them, I wanna get them right from the get-go. 327 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,993 From the title. Right, so... 328 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,952 I don't wanna make it dumb, like "McGuirk's kick-ass journal." 329 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,264 Something like that. Right. Yeah. 330 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,289 Wanna make it a little more... literary. Right. 331 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,726 And then you wanna impress 'em, make 'em think... Then sleep with 'em. 332 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,139 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 333 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:26,831 What do you mean, you lost my journal? I mean, I lost it. 334 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:30,401 And, like, I left it somewhere or I dropped it, I don't know. 335 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,615 I don't think you get it. There's personal stuff in there. My-my... 336 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,218 Oh, you know what? What? 337 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:38,576 I did, uh... Went to the movies. Maybe I left it there. 338 00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:42,080 Why don't we swing by the movie theater and see if we can find it? 339 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,149 Right, right. What do you think of this? It's between these two: 340 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,253 "Journal to the center of McGuirk," right? 341 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:52,456 Or "Journal to the center of McGuirth-k"... with a K on the end. 342 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,338 You know, I can't talk to you about this. I'm too upset. 343 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,996 You're in here, by the way. What is all this stuff? 344 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,132 It's... stuff for my journal reading tonight. But why do you...? 345 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:04,068 To be quite honest with you, I didn't write a lot. 346 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,571 But I am gonna show a whole buncha clips of movies I like. 347 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,808 Okay. Good. This is... This is very good. 348 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,044 But, um, could you not say "damn"? 349 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,513 But the character is referring to the Hoover Dam. 350 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:19,817 Yeah, but... maybe you could just call it the... "big Hoover water-stopper wall"? 351 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,330 Mm. Okay, fine. 352 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:24,455 Um, you can leave that in. This is good, though. I like it. 353 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,792 But don't you think it's... too clean and boring? No. No, boring? 354 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:31,662 When Virginia O'Sullivan... love that name, much better than Sexy... 355 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,977 Mm-hm. When she starts going crazy and destroying the house, 356 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:39,237 and Jeremy throws down the controls and screams, "Quit clowning around," 357 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,671 I... I got chills. 358 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,308 I mean, no. This is nice and clean. 359 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,753 It's... This is... Mm-hm. 360 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,077 I think this works. 361 00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,856 Well, guys, let's shoot it. 362 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,649 Okay. Now we're gonna hear from John. 363 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:53,217 Thank you. 364 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,718 Okay. 365 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,054 Uh, the music. 366 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,423 ♪♪ All right. 367 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,459 "And so begins my journey inward. 368 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,761 My, uh... 369 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:07,465 My journal to the center of McGuirk." 370 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:15,206 Uh... that was a waste of a rental. 371 00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,707 Um... 372 00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,276 ♪♪ 373 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,044 "Dear journal... 374 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:24,849 "It's Tuesday night, and I'm sitting here with... my bottle of chardonnay... 375 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,251 "relaying the events of my day. 376 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,722 "I went to the video store earlier to rent three adult videos. 377 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,892 "I had read some interesting reviews online, 378 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:39,330 "and always like to know what I'm renting before I go in there. 379 00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,433 "Especially when it comes to adult videos." 380 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,535 Um... 381 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,471 Okay. 382 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:51,342 "Anyway, on Wednesday morning I woke up and... and... 383 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,111 "and I... performed... 384 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,480 "I woke up and... pre-formed... 385 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,483 "Pre... Something, something laundry." 386 00:16:58,551 --> 00:16:59,817 Uh... 387 00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,185 "The machine"... 388 00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,853 Wait a minute. 389 00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:06,257 I'm missing a... Lemme shut this music down for one second. 390 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,660 Goes from one to three. 391 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:13,498 In any event... as far as I remember, I did laundry. 392 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,233 There was a thing about, um... 393 00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:20,104 that, uh, baby laundry detergent, which I buy 'cause it's cheaper. 394 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,907 Uh, but it's... also, uh... 395 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,843 I think I said something about it being a gimmick. 396 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,645 It's the same as regular detergent. 397 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,648 I don't know why babies need... different detergent. 398 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,050 Something like that. 399 00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:35,286 There's that whole thing on my laundry and also about... 400 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,555 the laundry room in my apartment complex. 401 00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:40,124 And I wrote a letter to my landlord 402 00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,460 about them changing it to make it free laundry. 403 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,596 I don't think we should pay maintenance and pay for laundry. 404 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:46,964 And that was that. 405 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,332 Oh. Here it is. 406 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,081 So... yeah. 407 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:51,536 "I went and did my laundry. 408 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:55,406 "I use baby detergent 'cause it's a little bit cheaper. 409 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:59,843 "But then I was thinking, why do babies need different detergent? 410 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,847 "Can't they use the same one as everybody else? It's not like they'll die. 411 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,661 "My apartment complex has..." 412 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:09,420 Erik, we can't keep making out in the back of classrooms. 413 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,467 You have to stand up to your daughter. 414 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,692 No, I don't. See, next semester we can take cardio-kickboxing... 415 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,962 No. If you wanna see me again, it's gotta be on a real date. 416 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,875 Introduction to Grief? No. 417 00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,044 Introduction to Latin Dance? No. 418 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,834 Latin Grief? Forget it. 419 00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:27,572 Intermediate Hip-hop for the Grieving Latin? A real date or nothing. 420 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,006 You're right. 421 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:31,675 You are absolutely right. Lemme talk to her. 422 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,945 Secretly, Virginia, I wanna be your boyfriend. I love you. 423 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:38,716 Even though you're a robot without a heart or lungs or skin. 424 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,529 - Melissa? - Cut. 425 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:44,088 We're shooting here. Oh. Jeez, I'm sorry. This'll just take a sec. 426 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:47,725 Melissa, I really like this woman in class. I wanna go on a date with her. 427 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:51,229 I understand, and the answer is no. Lemme rephrase the question. 428 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,199 I really like this woman in class, and I wanna go out with her... on a date. 429 00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,334 Still no. 430 00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,236 Brendon, I thought you were gonna handle this. 431 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,117 She was supposed to find your journal and read it. You mean this? 432 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,385 I found it at the soccer field. 433 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:06,688 So, did you read it? I'm not gonna read my father's journal. That's gross. 434 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,957 If you read it, it would help you to understand. 435 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,748 I don't want to. Read it, Melissa. 436 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,394 Yeah, read it. Read it. 437 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:13,829 All right, I'll read it. 438 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,487 Another game of chess, Brendon? 439 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:20,358 Nah, I think three's my limit. Plus we don't know how to play chess at all. 440 00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,704 I really like the pieces. The pieces are fun. 441 00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,773 I didn't read the whole thing. I couldn't. 442 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:28,098 I got to the part that says, "Dear journal, I am so lonely. 443 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,834 "I am really pathetic, and I really, really need a date." 444 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:34,004 I did not write that. Sorry, I put that in there. 445 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,784 Sorry. Forget about the journal. 446 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,420 Remember that time we found a little bird? Yeah. 447 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:41,357 And we took it in and nursed it back to health? Uh-huh. 448 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,915 What we learned from nursing that bird together... Uh-huh. 449 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,985 Was that we nurture each other when we nurture things. 450 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:51,455 I gotta go out with this girl. Tonight. Wow. 451 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:55,159 I mean, she wants me bad. I want a woman. I need a woman. Yikes. 452 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,373 Erik, lemme take a shot at this. 453 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:58,740 Melissa. Mm-hm? 454 00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:01,710 Men, we're an interesting group. 455 00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,945 We have certain needs. 456 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,571 Jason, not your "men have needs" speech again. 457 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,640 He wants to have sex with ladies, Melissa. Everyone be quiet. 458 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,986 Dad? Yeah? 459 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,454 Can we compromise? Of course. 460 00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:16,214 You can go out on dates, but I have to meet her by the third date, 461 00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:17,926 and if I don't approve, she's history. 462 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:21,151 I'll kill her myself. Whatever you say. Do I have my daughter back? 463 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,920 Yes. Yay. 464 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,955 Thank ing God. 465 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,824 Brendon, you ready? Mmm. 466 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,437 Are we ready? Yes. Yes. 467 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,105 Is everybody ready? Everybody's... Mom. 468 00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,874 Relax, please. Just push play. Here we go, everyone. 469 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,367 Please. I'm going outside. I can't watch this piece of crap. 470 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:40,371 Okay. Because he's so proud, it's so good. Here we go. 471 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,609 Did you ask Mary Beth Bushnik to the prom? 472 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,477 Yes. She declined. 473 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,912 Um, is your heart broken? 474 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:53,083 Yes. That's why I invented this female robot. 475 00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,953 Mm-hm. Meet Ruth, the female robot. 476 00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,001 Hel-lo. 477 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:03,038 Brendon, I wanna thank you for what you did. I really do. 478 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,673 Oh, don't mention it. Too late. 479 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,875 Hey, I have an idea for a movie 480 00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,645 about a man who has a very controlling daughter, 481 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,814 and she doesn't let him date... but then he ends up dating. 482 00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:16,907 That's... the worst idea for a movie I've ever heard. How 'bout this: 483 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:21,078 A rogue shark terrorizes a small island community. I like it. 484 00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:22,580 Brendon. Yeah? 485 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,760 Your movie sucks. Yeah, that's why I'm out here. 486 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,094 Really sucks. I know. 487 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,563 Erik. What's up? Uh... 488 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:30,655 I got a call from Miss Figg. And what did she want? 489 00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:34,258 She kicked me outta the class. But then she asked me out for a drink. Huh? 490 00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,037 What do you think? Yeah... that's okay. 491 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:37,640 - Huh? - That's not bad. 492 00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,963 Erik. Erik... my man. Y-You... You... 493 00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,344 - You go. - Put that in your ing journal. 494 00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:43,712 Yeah. Brendon. 495 00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,947 Yeah? What are you gonna do with your curse money? 496 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:49,973 Can you give it to me? Or what? Can I have it? I don't care. Go ahead. 497 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:52,543 Thank you. It's like 50 bucks. I don't care. 498 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:55,413 What's that all about? 499 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,816 The movie was so boring I spliced in a scene of two dogs having sex. 500 00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,596 Oh, that thing I gave you. Yeah. 501 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:01,952 Good move. Thanks. 502 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,587 Just two? 503 00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:33,510 Closed-captioned by J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 40795

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