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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:04,703
♪♪
2
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:13,879
All right, Jeremy, let's reboot.
3
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:17,587
Wait, Aganon. I haven't
finished adjusting
her emotional settings.
4
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,196
Shoot!
I got a shock!
5
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:21,798
I don't like this.
Let's stop now.
We can't stop now.
6
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:26,025
My mother'll be home soon and
she'll have a negative reaction
if she finds we created
7
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:28,560
the perfect female robot.
8
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,630
Hey, sailors, what's up?
How about a good time?
9
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,343
Oh, cool.
Oh, my gosh, Jeremy.
10
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,435
She's coming on to us
faster than a 5-gig processor.
11
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:38,944
What did you set
her desire levels at?
25.
12
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,572
25!
25.
13
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,401
Are you unstable?
Maybe.
14
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,177
Do you know what I put
in her desire memory? Porn.
15
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,024
Pornographics?
Thousands of it.
16
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,647
Thousands of porn.
17
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,460
Who wants to touch my butt?
18
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,694
She's awesome.
19
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,785
Oh, my God,
if my mother finds out
20
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,455
I have a woman
of questionable character,
she'll lose it.
21
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,768
Do you wanna touch
my butt or not?
No.
22
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,360
Yes. Yes. Yes.
No. No. Jeremy, no.
23
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:05,630
Yes, Aganon! Everything will
be fine as long as we can
control her mind and emotions.
24
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,544
You two are just
a coupla ing geeks.
25
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,802
Oh, my God.
Jeremy, she just swore
in my house.
26
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,782
Shut off her power.
I did, I did.
27
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,317
- She's not responding.
- What the?
28
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:17,076
Oh, my God.
Now you're swearing
in my house.
29
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,056
Will you
shut the up
and help me?
30
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,880
I... Oh, my God.
So long,
mother ers.
31
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,326
Where you going?
Stop.
32
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,951
I think I hear
my mother coming.
Uh-oh.
33
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,886
I think I hear my mother coming!
34
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,000
- My mother!
- Oh, oh...
35
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,391
Uh, Aganon, I'm home.
36
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,926
What's going on...
up there?
37
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:37,541
Who the
is that?
Shh. It's my mother.
38
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:39,798
What?
Not talking to you.
39
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,601
Stick to the script,
please.
Oh, sorry.
40
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,002
Go sit down, Ruth.
41
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,848
- Ruth?
- Who the is Ruth?
42
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:48,140
That's your name.
Your name is Ruth the Robot.
43
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:50,120
No, my name's not Ruth,
okay, nerdo?
44
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,777
My name is Sexy.
Sexy O'Sullivan.
45
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,806
Aganon, why can't
we control her?
She's Irish?
46
00:01:55,849 --> 00:02:00,252
Aganon... I'm coming upstairs
to see what you two
trouble makers are up to.
47
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,454
Oh, !
48
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,938
No, I didn't know
the language content of...
49
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,109
- Well, actually, yes.
- Okay, I was in it...
50
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,234
I had a small role in it,
but it was off-camera stuff.
51
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,046
I wasn't even there, you know?
52
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,316
You know, I think I have
another call.
53
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,917
Can you hold on a second?
Hello?
54
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,785
Uh, hello...
Hi, Mrs. Oliver.
55
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,410
I have a very bad problemto tell you.
Uh-huh.
56
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,847
Junior sees the movie.He says a bad word...
Okay, you know, I'm...
57
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,761
Lemme finish. He said
bad words to the kitty cat...
58
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:35,521
and the kitty cat will notcome outta the closet.
Could you hold on a second?
59
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:38,201
Ing Brendon.
Hi, Mrs. Mueller,
have a seat.
60
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:42,093
I got two people ahead of you,
but you'll be able to yell
at me shortly.
61
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:46,465
You're right. Cursing is an
excellent way to convey emotion,
but not always acceptable.
62
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,212
Yeah, but in the movies
it's acceptable.
But not for kids.
63
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,114
Swearing when you're young
can become a crutch,
64
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:54,083
and you'll get lazy
and your vocabulary
will turn to.
65
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,907
But I don't swear all the time.
66
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,255
I know, but this incident
makes us both look bad.
67
00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,023
Not both of us.
Both of us.
68
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:03,193
That's why I've
invited all the parents
to come over and watch
69
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,697
a new, cleaned-up version
of the movie next week.
70
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:06,918
What?
71
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,321
And I'll have to read
the script before you shoot.
72
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,269
You're gonna censor me?
I'm just gonna take out
the potty-mouth words.
73
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:15,093
Why are you cracking
down like this?
And also, here.
74
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,873
What's that?
A curse jar.
75
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:20,299
What's a curse jar?
Every time you swear,
you put money in the jar.
76
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,879
At the end of the week,
we donate it to charity.
77
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,382
No.
Here's a list of curses
and their monetary values.
78
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,206
Holy!
The F-word is $3?
79
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,918
Too much?
Yeah.
80
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,375
Then don't say it.
81
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,945
I gotta agree with your mom.
Cursing is a sign of ignorance.
82
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,292
Oh, ref!
Ouch.
83
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,682
Please!
Whoa.
84
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,118
There's no place for cursing
in a civilized society.
Yeah.
85
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:42,599
I'm telling you this
because I'm a coach.
I know.
86
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:43,833
You're just a kid.
Yeah.
87
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,702
You can't go around
cursing now.
Yeah.
88
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,205
It'll ruin you
when you get older.
But do you think...
89
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,540
What the was that, ref!
Oh.
90
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:54,099
Are you taking a!
Is that what you're doing!
Or are you making a call!
91
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:58,169
'Cause if you can make a call,
make a call, but don't take
a out there!
92
00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:02,040
- That's taking a!
- That's taking a in my ing mouth!
93
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:05,076
And I don't wanna eat your, you!
94
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,278
Wow.
95
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,757
Unless, Brendon... Yeah?
96
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,427
Unless you know how
to do it right.
Which you do.
97
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,429
Obviously.
Yeah, my ears are
still ringing.
98
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:14,497
Yeah. It's called
creative use of words.
Right.
99
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,122
It's like poetry,
like Robert Frost.
Right.
100
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,259
"Stopping by the Woods on
a Snowy ing Evening."
Right.
101
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,272
That kinda.
That's good stuff.
102
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,895
But it's my poetry.
Right.
103
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,109
It's the everyday
man's poetry.
Yeah, yeah.
104
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:29,134
'Cause we can't find good
metaphor like the woods.
Yeah.
105
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:32,170
Or the snow or the horse
or that kinda stuff.
Right.
106
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,317
Oh, ing me, ref!
107
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,752
Hey, guys.
Erik.
108
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,121
Yeah.
Long time, no see.
Want a ing donut?
109
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:39,922
Uh...
I'm good, thanks.
110
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,613
Hey, where's Melissa?
111
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,693
She's in the net.
She's playing
goalie today?
112
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,250
No, she's stuck in the net.
113
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,697
She's been there
for like an hour.
Hi, Dad!
114
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,621
Hi, sweetheart.
Go... Go get 'em.
115
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,723
If in fact that's
what you wanna do.
116
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,803
So, Erik, what are you
doing with yourself?
117
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:57,162
Well, I'm dropping
the kids off at Brendon's...
Melissa, get back in the game.
118
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,442
Game's over,
coach. We lost.
Oh. Good game.
119
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:00,932
Hey, you kids ready?
120
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,112
Where's Jason?
He said he'd
meet us later.
121
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,704
So, Erik, let's do something
after you drop the kids off.
122
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,584
You wanna go out?
I'm doing something.
123
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,274
I'm going to
my journal-writing class.
124
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:12,644
Blow it off.
We'll go to the track.
I like my class, John.
125
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:16,080
It's a wonderful exercise
that allows me to get
in touch with my emotions...
126
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,060
Great, well, let's
go to the movies instead.
127
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,818
No, because
I-I'm going to my class.
128
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,299
I... See, I already
have a legal pad.
Mm.
129
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,089
Well, let's grab a beer.
We'll go to a bar...
130
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,104
Let's go to a...
like a theme bar.
I'm sorry, John.
131
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,473
I'm going to my
journal-writing class.
Pfft. Boring.
132
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,966
Let's play mini-golf.
Go bowling. Watch a game.
Go to a rodeo.
133
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,501
No. I'm gonna
stay here.
134
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,648
There's an art festival
along the river.
135
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,207
We can get a glass of wine,
put out a blanket, you know?
136
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:44,721
Yeah.
Buy a salami...
and some cheese.
137
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,445
Hey, I didn't ask you to come.
138
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,514
In fact, I'd prefer
to take the class
by myself.
139
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:52,016
Hey, all women, huh?
Yeah.
140
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,230
Now I see why you
take this class, Erik.
141
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,821
Huh? You dog.
142
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,900
You dirty dog.
Ruff!
143
00:05:57,924 --> 00:06:00,002
Let's see your teeth, you dog.
144
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,794
No, but I'm not
in it for the women.
Oh, come on.
145
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,407
You're in it
for the women,
obviously.
146
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:05,831
No, that's...
147
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,500
Only for the journal writing,
and that is the truth.
148
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:11,236
Jason. Finally.
Where've you been?
Walking.
149
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,971
You were supposed to pick me up.
150
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,585
Melissa said you were
gonna meet us here.
151
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,209
No. Melissa, I told you
I needed a ride.
You did?
152
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,022
Sorry. I guess
I wasn't listening.
153
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,715
Sorry? Well, sorry
doesn't cut it, Melissa.
I'd like an apology.
154
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,149
Okay, I apologize.
155
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,664
You've been acting
kinda weird lately.
Is everything okay?
156
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:32,023
Yeah, everything's fine.
Everything's just fine.
Let's get back to work, guys.
157
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,325
Stop looking at me.
158
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,562
Well... I see we have
a new face in the class.
159
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,342
Would you like
to introduce yourself?
160
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:43,034
You bet. Name's John McGuirk,
and my buddy Erik
dragged me here.
161
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,614
Mm.
So let's get to it.
162
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,304
Oh! Okay!
163
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,451
I should probably
mention that
I'm single...
164
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:52,444
Uh, 38-ish...
and I'm in pretty
good shape.
165
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,624
- I play a lotta soccer.
- Wow!
166
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,793
And I'm
a journal freak.
Oh!
167
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,461
I'm like a fanatic
journal lover.
168
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,062
Well, that's great.
Yeah.
169
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,087
We'll be looking forward
to hearing one of your
passages next week.
170
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:06,469
You want me to read...
from... I thought journals
were, like, private.
171
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:09,160
Well, you only read
what you want others to hear.
172
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:12,230
All right.
So let's listen
to some journals!
173
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:15,099
How about starting off
with Sondra.
174
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:19,037
So... I was dreading
euthanizing Asia...
175
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:22,340
Asia was my cat's name
in case anyone... forgot.
176
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:27,312
"I had begun to prepare
myself to hold Asia
during her death...
177
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:31,716
"To hold her until
her normally busy paws
went limp.
178
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,285
"Unfortunately,
I never got that chance
179
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,288
"because Asia jumped
out of her carrier
180
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,325
"and got hit by... a...
181
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,327
ca... car."
182
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:46,197
Seems pretty
vulnerable right now.
Yeah.
183
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,612
I should probably...
ask her out.
184
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,771
Okay, scene eight.
Brendon? What's with
the jar of money?
185
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,240
Can I have it?
Uh, it's a curse jar
to stop me from swearing.
186
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,778
If I use a curse word
like, uh...
187
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,646
then I have to...
I know.
188
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,782
Then I have to
put money in.
Yeah.
189
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,228
Say, uh, that thing again.
190
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,654
Brendon, stop.
191
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,067
Don't overdo it.
192
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,836
Oh, my God, I'm gonna pee.
193
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,170
I don't trust my father!
194
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,805
I think he's seeing
another woman.
195
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,396
Uh...
Um...
196
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,876
Weeeird...
Whaaat...?
197
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,900
Weird... Weird.
What...
What.
198
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:24,380
Hi. I liked your
journal thing.
That was good.
199
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,637
Thanks.
200
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,718
You wanna go get
a drink after the class,
or even now?
201
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,942
No.
Oh.
202
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,243
I didn't take this class
to meet someone, okay?
203
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,646
I took it to examine my soul.
204
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:38,182
I suggest you...
go find yourself.
Look...
205
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,219
I am beginning to not want
to go out with you, so...
206
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,099
I suggest you turn this around.
207
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,504
"And then he said..."
What are
you doing?
208
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,072
I'm writing about it
in my journal.
Right now?
209
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:51,816
Yeah.
Can't you wait?
210
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,746
Uh, name's John McGuirk.
211
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,570
M, C, Big G,
212
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,339
U, I... Wait a minute.
213
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,408
Wait, M, C, Big G...
214
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,243
You know what?
You write it.
215
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:08,713
Uh...
"then I took her journal
216
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,850
"and started writing in it.
217
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:15,654
"This is weird, comma, I said,
218
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,990
"and wrote, wait a minute,
219
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,893
"this is getting too weir..."
220
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,262
You're welcome.
221
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,264
Uh... you wanna go out?
222
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:27,832
What's so funny?
223
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,512
Hey, you.
In, uh...
224
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,714
With the braid.
Wanna go out?
225
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,551
Jeez, Erik, this is
gonna be tougher
than I thought.
226
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,919
- Erik?
- Erik.
227
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:37,543
Oh, my G...
228
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,156
Erik.
Yes?
229
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,346
What is going on
with that woman...
and you?
230
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,427
Y-You mean
Joviana?
Joviana?
231
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,828
Is that her name?
Yeah.
232
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,151
What is she, a hippy?
233
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,065
It's an unusual name,
I admit that.
234
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,089
You shouldn't make out
in class. It's rude.
235
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,870
You know what? I can't stop
thinking about this woman.
Mm-hm.
236
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,728
I met her last semester
when I first took the class.
Yeah?
237
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,708
And I haven't seen
her again until tonight.
238
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,633
Well, why not?
I mean, seems like
you two get along well,
239
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,668
As in, you were
making out with her.
240
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:06,549
It's because of
Melissa that I can't...
see her more often.
241
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:10,408
Wow. Melissa doesn't like
the idea of you replacing
her mom, right?
242
00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:13,011
No, she just doesn't like
the idea of me dating.
243
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,959
She'd kill me
if she found out.
I don't think that's true.
244
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,548
I mean, Melissa
couldn't kill you.
245
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:18,795
No, she could.
She's vicious.
246
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,719
Hi, Daddy. I missed you.
247
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,520
I missed you too, sweetheart.
248
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,833
Hey, are your lips swollen?
249
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,234
What are you talking...
250
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,792
I smell perfume.
Me too.
That is so weird.
251
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,528
What's...
What is going on?
Why are your lips all puffy?
252
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:33,564
Um... because I was inflating
beach balls all night.
253
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,011
You were kissing someone,
weren't you?
254
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,278
What...?
What, kissing?
255
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:37,814
Liar!
256
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,381
Sweetie...
Just go home!
257
00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,873
Go home! I'm sleeping
over at Brendon's.
258
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,175
For the rest of my life!
What?
259
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,788
Brendon, I'll be upstairs.
260
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,947
Please bring a glass
of water when you come up.
Wha...?
261
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:52,183
You know, you have
to take a stand sometimes.
Yeah, it's tough.
262
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,986
Families are, um,
families are tough.
263
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,956
It's so difficult.
Just the options...
Yeah.
264
00:10:58,025 --> 00:10:59,257
Every day shrink.
265
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,626
I know.
What I can do
in a given day.
266
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,039
Wanna go to a titty bar?
267
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,783
- Sure.
- I'm in!
268
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,937
♪♪
269
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:37,328
It's been almost a week.
I don't know what to do.
She won't talk to me.
270
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,876
Loan me your journal.
You wanna borrow
my journal? Why?
271
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,767
I'm supposed to read
from mine tomorrow, and
I haven't written anything.
272
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:46,938
John, you can't copy from
my journal. This is my life.
Erik, shut up.
273
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,408
Okay.
I wanna see how you arranged
yours. What the setup was.
274
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:53,255
Look, I'm sorry.
I'm not comfortable
lending you my journal.
275
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:58,149
All right, I'll tell you what.
Lend it to me and I'll tell you
how to get Melissa back.
276
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,752
Okay.
Here's the journal.
Thank you.
277
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,922
How do I get her back?
I don't know.
But I fooled you.
278
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,357
You son of a bitch.
Sorry. See you in class.
279
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,959
Hi guys.
And girl.
280
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,706
- Oh, yeah, and girl.
- Hi.
281
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,741
Guys, this is a private
production meeting.
282
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,475
- So if you don't mind.
- Jason.
283
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,201
Oops.
Oops.
Put in 50 cents, Walter.
284
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,147
- Okay.
- 50 cents for.
285
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,138
You guys have a curse jar too?
286
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,618
Yeah. We heard
about Brendon's,
so we started our own.
287
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:26,010
Everybody's been talking
about Brendon's curse word jar.
And we want one too!
288
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:29,558
We wanted one
and we got one!
We wanted it and we got it!
289
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,393
It's ing awesome.
Fifty ing cents, Walter.
290
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,017
You too.
Oh, yeah.
291
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,553
But guys, the idea
is not to swear.
292
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,056
Right.
you.
Yeah, you.
293
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,491
- And you, Perry.
- Yeah, you, Walter.
294
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,005
Anyway, um...
Brendon, before
we start...
295
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,629
Bye!
Bye, guys.
296
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:47,899
You know what, Brendon? Sorry
to bring this up again, but...
Yeah.
297
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:51,803
Can I ask you not to leave
a glob of toothpaste
in the sink every morning?
298
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,372
It's really disgusting.
299
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,819
Brendon,
you didn't swear.
Trust me, I did.
300
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:58,643
And Jason?
Uh-huh?
301
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,858
After you shower,
you might not wanna leave
your wet towels on the floor.
302
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,525
- It's kind of unsanitary.
- All right.
303
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,427
I gotta go.
I'll see you guys
tonight.
304
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,118
She is driving me crazy.
305
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,965
She also shouldn't
watch me shower.
306
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:12,957
- I have to get her out of my ing house...
- before I go broke or insane.
307
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:16,338
Why doesn't she just
go home? Doesn't she
realize she's not wanted?
308
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,630
Jason, um...
you don't have to stay
at my house every night either.
309
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:23,434
Yeah, right, funny.
Good one.
310
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:27,216
Look, can you
talk to her?
No. No more talking.
311
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,685
She needs to be
taken care of.
What are you suggesting?
312
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:31,520
I have a plan.
I don't wanna know.
313
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:34,223
You won't be involved.
I'll handle it.
What are you gonna do?
314
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,925
I don't wanna know.
I'll handle it.
315
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,229
Gives me the creeps.
316
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,184
Hey, coach.
317
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,931
What're you reading?
Erik's journal.
His private journal.
318
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,332
Mm. May I?
Help yourself.
319
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,622
Thank you.
320
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,803
Tell me if this is
a good opening line.
Okay.
321
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:51,896
"And so begins my journey
inward. My journal
to the center of McGuirk."
322
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:55,300
Oh, yeah, that's like a...
You know what that
reminds me of?
323
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:58,369
That movie...
Journey to the Centerof the Earth.
324
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:01,139
Yeah. It's supposed to, idiot.
I'm being clever.
Oh.
325
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:05,143
And I'm gonna be reading this
in front of a roomful of women.
326
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:09,280
Oh, yeah.
So I wanna impress them, I wanna
get them right from the get-go.
327
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,993
From the title.
Right, so...
328
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,952
I don't wanna make it dumb, like
"McGuirk's kick-ass journal."
329
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,264
Something like that.
Right. Yeah.
330
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,289
Wanna make it a little
more... literary.
Right.
331
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:21,726
And then you wanna
impress 'em, make 'em think...
Then sleep with 'em.
332
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,139
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
333
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:26,831
What do you mean,
you lost my journal?
I mean, I lost it.
334
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:30,401
And, like, I left it
somewhere or I dropped it,
I don't know.
335
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,615
I don't think you get it.
There's personal stuff
in there. My-my...
336
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,218
Oh, you know what?
What?
337
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:38,576
I did, uh...
Went to the movies.
Maybe I left it there.
338
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:42,080
Why don't we swing
by the movie theater
and see if we can find it?
339
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,149
Right, right.
What do you think of this?
It's between these two:
340
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:48,253
"Journal to the center
of McGuirk," right?
341
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:52,456
Or "Journal to the center
of McGuirth-k"...
with a K on the end.
342
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,338
You know, I can't talk
to you about this.
I'm too upset.
343
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,996
You're in here,
by the way.
What is all this stuff?
344
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:01,132
It's... stuff for my
journal reading tonight.
But why do you...?
345
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:04,068
To be quite honest
with you, I didn't
write a lot.
346
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,571
But I am gonna show
a whole buncha clips
of movies I like.
347
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,808
Okay. Good.
This is...
This is very good.
348
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:13,044
But, um, could you
not say "damn"?
349
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,513
But the character is
referring to the Hoover Dam.
350
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:19,817
Yeah, but... maybe you could
just call it the...
"big Hoover water-stopper wall"?
351
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,330
Mm.
Okay, fine.
352
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:24,455
Um, you can leave that in.
This is good, though.
I like it.
353
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:27,792
But don't you think it's...
too clean and boring?
No. No, boring?
354
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:31,662
When Virginia O'Sullivan...
love that name,
much better than Sexy...
355
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,977
Mm-hm.
When she starts going crazy
and destroying the house,
356
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:39,237
and Jeremy throws down
the controls and screams,
"Quit clowning around,"
357
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,671
I... I got chills.
358
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,308
I mean, no. This
is nice and clean.
359
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,753
It's... This is... Mm-hm.
360
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,077
I think this works.
361
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,856
Well, guys, let's shoot it.
362
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,649
Okay. Now we're gonna
hear from John.
363
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:53,217
Thank you.
364
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,718
Okay.
365
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,054
Uh, the music.
366
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,423
♪♪ All right.
367
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,459
"And so begins
my journey inward.
368
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,761
My, uh...
369
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:07,465
My journal to the center
of McGuirk."
370
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:15,206
Uh...
that was a waste
of a rental.
371
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,707
Um...
372
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:18,276
♪♪
373
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,044
"Dear journal...
374
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:24,849
"It's Tuesday night,
and I'm sitting here with...
my bottle of chardonnay...
375
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,251
"relaying the events of my day.
376
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,722
"I went to the video store
earlier to rent three
adult videos.
377
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,892
"I had read some interesting
reviews online,
378
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:39,330
"and always like to know
what I'm renting before
I go in there.
379
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,433
"Especially when it comes
to adult videos."
380
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,535
Um...
381
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,471
Okay.
382
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:51,342
"Anyway, on Wednesday morning
I woke up and... and...
383
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,111
"and I... performed...
384
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,480
"I woke up and... pre-formed...
385
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,483
"Pre... Something,
something laundry."
386
00:16:58,551 --> 00:16:59,817
Uh...
387
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,185
"The machine"...
388
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,853
Wait a minute.
389
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:06,257
I'm missing a...
Lemme shut this music down
for one second.
390
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,660
Goes from one to three.
391
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:13,498
In any event... as far as
I remember, I did laundry.
392
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,233
There was a thing about, um...
393
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:20,104
that, uh, baby laundry
detergent, which I buy
'cause it's cheaper.
394
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,907
Uh, but it's... also, uh...
395
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,843
I think I said something
about it being a gimmick.
396
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,645
It's the same as
regular detergent.
397
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,648
I don't know why babies
need... different detergent.
398
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:32,050
Something like that.
399
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:35,286
There's that whole thing
on my laundry and also about...
400
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,555
the laundry room
in my apartment complex.
401
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:40,124
And I wrote a letter
to my landlord
402
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,460
about them changing it
to make it free laundry.
403
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,596
I don't think we should
pay maintenance
and pay for laundry.
404
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:46,964
And that was that.
405
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,332
Oh. Here it is.
406
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,081
So... yeah.
407
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:51,536
"I went and did my laundry.
408
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:55,406
"I use baby detergent 'cause
it's a little bit cheaper.
409
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:59,843
"But then I was thinking,
why do babies need
different detergent?
410
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,847
"Can't they use the same one
as everybody else?
It's not like they'll die.
411
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,661
"My apartment
complex has..."
412
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:09,420
Erik, we can't keep
making out in the back
of classrooms.
413
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,467
You have to stand up
to your daughter.
414
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:14,692
No, I don't.
See, next semester we can
take cardio-kickboxing...
415
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,962
No. If you wanna see me again,
it's gotta be on a real date.
416
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,875
Introduction
to Grief?
No.
417
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,044
Introduction
to Latin Dance?
No.
418
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,834
Latin Grief?
Forget it.
419
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:27,572
Intermediate Hip-hop
for the Grieving Latin?
A real date or nothing.
420
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,006
You're right.
421
00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:31,675
You are absolutely right.
Lemme talk to her.
422
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,945
Secretly, Virginia,I wanna be your boyfriend.I love you.
423
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:38,716
Even though you're a robotwithout a heart or lungsor skin.
424
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,529
- Melissa?
- Cut.
425
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:44,088
We're shooting here.
Oh. Jeez, I'm sorry.
This'll just take a sec.
426
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:47,725
Melissa, I really like this
woman in class. I wanna go
on a date with her.
427
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:51,229
I understand,
and the answer is no.
Lemme rephrase the question.
428
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,199
I really like this woman
in class, and I wanna go out
with her... on a date.
429
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,334
Still no.
430
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,236
Brendon, I thought you were
gonna handle this.
431
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,117
She was supposed to find
your journal and read it.
You mean this?
432
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,385
I found it at the soccer field.
433
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:06,688
So, did you read it?
I'm not gonna read my father's
journal. That's gross.
434
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,957
If you read it,
it would help you
to understand.
435
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,748
I don't want to.
Read it, Melissa.
436
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,394
Yeah, read it.
Read it.
437
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:13,829
All right, I'll read it.
438
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,487
Another game of chess, Brendon?
439
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:20,358
Nah, I think three's my limit.
Plus we don't know how
to play chess at all.
440
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,704
I really like
the pieces.
The pieces are fun.
441
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,773
I didn't read
the whole thing.
I couldn't.
442
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:28,098
I got to the part that says,
"Dear journal, I am so lonely.
443
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,834
"I am really pathetic, and
I really, really need a date."
444
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:34,004
I did not write that.
Sorry, I put
that in there.
445
00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,784
Sorry.
Forget about
the journal.
446
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,420
Remember that time
we found a little bird?
Yeah.
447
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:41,357
And we took it in and
nursed it back to health?
Uh-huh.
448
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,915
What we learned from nursing
that bird together...
Uh-huh.
449
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,985
Was that we nurture each other
when we nurture things.
450
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:51,455
I gotta go out
with this girl. Tonight.
Wow.
451
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:55,159
I mean, she wants me bad.
I want a woman. I need a woman.
Yikes.
452
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,373
Erik, lemme take a shot at this.
453
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:58,740
Melissa.
Mm-hm?
454
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:01,710
Men, we're an interesting group.
455
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,945
We have certain needs.
456
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,571
Jason, not your
"men have needs"
speech again.
457
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:09,640
He wants to have sex
with ladies, Melissa.
Everyone be quiet.
458
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,986
Dad?
Yeah?
459
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,454
Can we compromise?
Of course.
460
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:16,214
You can go out on dates,
but I have to meet her
by the third date,
461
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:17,926
and if I don't approve,
she's history.
462
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:21,151
I'll kill her myself.
Whatever you say.
Do I have my daughter back?
463
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,920
Yes.
Yay.
464
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,955
Thank ing God.
465
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,824
Brendon, you ready?
Mmm.
466
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,437
Are we ready?
Yes. Yes.
467
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,105
Is everybody ready?
Everybody's...
Mom.
468
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,874
Relax, please.
Just push play.
Here we go, everyone.
469
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,367
Please. I'm going outside.
I can't watch this piece
of crap.
470
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:40,371
Okay. Because he's so proud,
it's so good. Here we go.
471
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,609
Did you ask Mary Beth
Bushnik to the prom?
472
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,477
Yes. She declined.
473
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,912
Um, is your heart broken?
474
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:53,083
Yes. That's why
I invented this
female robot.
475
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,953
Mm-hm.
Meet Ruth,
the female robot.
476
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,001
Hel-lo.
477
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:03,038
Brendon, I wanna
thank you for what
you did. I really do.
478
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,673
Oh, don't mention it.
Too late.
479
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,875
Hey, I have an idea for a movie
480
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,645
about a man
who has a very
controlling daughter,
481
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,814
and she doesn't
let him date... but then
he ends up dating.
482
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:16,907
That's... the worst idea for
a movie I've ever heard.
How 'bout this:
483
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:21,078
A rogue shark terrorizes
a small island community.
I like it.
484
00:21:21,147 --> 00:21:22,580
Brendon.
Yeah?
485
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,760
Your movie sucks.
Yeah, that's why
I'm out here.
486
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,094
Really sucks.
I know.
487
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,563
Erik. What's up?
Uh...
488
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:30,655
I got a call
from Miss Figg.
And what did she want?
489
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:34,258
She kicked me outta the class.
But then she asked me out
for a drink. Huh?
490
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:36,037
What do you think?
Yeah... that's okay.
491
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:37,640
- Huh?
- That's not bad.
492
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,963
Erik.
Erik... my man.
Y-You... You...
493
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,344
- You go.
- Put that in your ing journal.
494
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:43,712
Yeah.
Brendon.
495
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,947
Yeah?
What are you gonna do
with your curse money?
496
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:49,973
Can you give it to me?
Or what? Can I have it?
I don't care. Go ahead.
497
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:52,543
Thank you.
It's like 50 bucks.
I don't care.
498
00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:55,413
What's that all about?
499
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,816
The movie was so boring
I spliced in a scene
of two dogs having sex.
500
00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,596
Oh, that thing I gave you.
Yeah.
501
00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:01,952
Good move.
Thanks.
502
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,587
Just two?
503
00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:33,510
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