Original subtitles

["You Can Dance" playing]

I'm Kev.

Flora.

I'm gonna be riding you later.

No, you won't.

[speaking indistinctly]

- Hi, how are you? - Flora. How are ya?

I'm good. [speaks indistinctly]

[song ends]

[sighs] Good girl, Flora.

[toilet flushes]

- Mornin'. - Oh, fuck.

Told ya. Do you go to Shifters much, love, yeah?

Yeah, all me life. Great club.

[chuckles] Listen, uh, will I whip us up something for breakfast?

A little fry maybe, you know? Where's the fridge?

Uh, there's nothing in it. Me son eats it all.

There's a son?

Yeah.

- Where is he? - Don't know.

Supposed to be in school. Could be anywhere.

I told you all about this last night, in the taxi?

You said you were cool with that?

- Shut the door on the way out. - [door closes]

[guard] Have you committed any antisocial behavior

- in the last few months of your life? - No way, Guard.

Have you received any stolen goods to the best of your knowledge?

Absolutely not, Guard.

Have you stolen any goods? [sighs]

Not that I got caught with.

- Ow! Fuck. - Answer him properly, you fucking idiot.

- How did you get the black eye? - Fighting.

Did you never think of joining the boxing club, Max?

No. They only wanted me to clean up, mop spit off the floor.

- I'm not doing that. - That's how Rocky started.

They have a new cycling group in Mount Vernon.

Don't have a bike.

He sold it for a secondhand laptop so he could play video games.

- That's not all I do on it. - [clicks tongue] Oh?

Watch pornography on it too.

[sighs]

The Juvenile Liaison program is designed to keep young people

out of the court system, and so out of prison.

And we all know what they do to pretty young lads like you in prison.

They anally rape them, Max.

We'll leave it there, son.

But I'm warning you now, you're headed in that direction

with a string of offenses the length of me arm.

One more offense and you'll be behind bars.

Flora, find him something to do.

Something to keep those light fingers occupied, yeah?

[piano playing out of tune]

[door closes]

Ooh. Yikes. Look at you, you big chocolate head.

Oh, yeah, sorry. She found some in the kitchen.

No worries.

- How was your workout? - Ugh, amazing. How am I doing?

- You look amazing. - [chuckles] Yay.

Okay, Flora, you're free to go. Thanks.

Right. Here's your baby.

- Thanks so much, Aishling. - Oh. Oh. [chuckles]

- See ya, Sorcha. See you Monday. - [Aishling chuckles]

- [Sorcha cooing] - [Aishling blowing raspberry]

- Bye now! - [Aishling] Thanks again!

No, no, thanking you!

- [machinery whirring] - [hammer knocking]

Come here.

- Yeah, all right. - You ready?

[guitar strums]

How much to fix this guitar up?

Let me see, uh...

Tighten the truss rod, a set of strings, two new machine heads.

- Sixty euro? - Fuck off.

Eighteen euro.

Do it.

[door closes]

Hiya.

[Max] What's that?

It's a piano.

Whose is it?

Wait, now, how many kids do I have?

Well, let's see. One?

It's yours.

Where'd you get it?

Who cares where it came from? It's a guitar. It makes music.

You used to be dead into music.

Happy birthday.

You fucking robbed it from one of the houses, didn't you?

No, I didn't rob it. Play it.

- Don't want to play. - Why not?

- Since when am I a guitarist? - Since now!

- Jesus. You didn't even buy it for me. - How do you know? Maybe I did.

Well, did ya?

No. But why does that matter?

Me whole life, you never get me anything.

Then you come home with this dusty piece of shit

the day after me birthday,

and expect me to turn into Ed fucking Sheeran?

- It's a gift. Who cares? - I don't want it.

- It's a crock of fucking shit. - [sighs] You ungrateful prick.

And you're a daft slag who never gave anyone anything.

Don't talk to me like that, you little prick.

Cunt.

You came out of my cunt, you ungrateful little animal.

One day I'm gonna surprise you and smash into your fucking face!

You'll be behind bars before that!

- Good. Away from you! - Go on!

- Go back to your da! - [door slams]

[glass shatters]

[straining, sighs]

You forgot your fucking present.

[grunts]

[guitar clangs, thuds]

[electronic music playing]

Hey, Da.

[Max's dad] Come here, little man.

I'm in the Lamborghini.

- Flora. - Ian.

Heard about the guitar episode.

So you had a little Harry Styles on your hands, was it?

Who knows what he could be? I mean, look at the genes.

It's not about the genes. It's about dreams.

I gave up my musical dreams for him. And you. You're welcome.

Here we go.

You do know we were on the same billing as Snow Patrol the night you and I met?

Course I did. It's why I fucked ya.

To think where I could be now, if things hadda been different.

Mountjoy, Portlaoise, Cloverhill.

Pick a prison.

Very funny.

Go on, you'd better go. They'll clamp your fucking broomstick.

Anyway, I might learn the guitar meself.

[chuckles] Okay.

Could be you're not the only genius in this family.

Sorry, but you playing the guitar? That's just too funny.

- Why? - 'Cause it takes dedication,

years of practice, sweat, commitment.

It's not just an overnight transformation on some fucking reality TV show.

Took 20 years to build up them calluses.

Are you really gonna talk to me... [chuckles] ...about commitment?

Where is she?

At a nail bar, getting a manicure?

Or at the surgery, getting a Brazilian arse lift?

She doesn't need one, love.

[chuckles] You're disgusting.

And don't just sit on the couch smoking weed and playing video games.

And her arse isn't that amazing!

Just FYI!

[dance music playing from car]

[music stops]

Oh, hey.

- Flora. [sighs] - Juanita.

- Awkward. - Not for me.

I've been there. You're welcome to him.

Thanks. See ya.

Hasta luego.

[scoffs] Fucking hell.

I can't go on like this.

Okay. Let's go.

- No. I mean, in life. - Oh.

This can't be my story.

Living in a shoebox with a kid who hates me,

and his da who doesn't see me.

This can't be my narrative.

He rejected your prezzie. So what?

You didn't even buy it, in fairness, and you forgot his birthday.

But you are a great mother.

Am I?

I watch those news stories about kids gone missing and police hunts,

and I feel for those parents.

But sometimes, I wouldn't mind that so much.

I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him, but sometimes,

I'd love to come home and he just wasn't there.

[smacks lips] Okay, I take it back.

You are a fucking psycho. I gotta go.

See ya in Shifters later?

Have I ever said no to that question?

See, there's something to look forward to.

See ya, Flora.

[singing "Love of My Life"]

[audience cheering on TV]

That smoky voice... That is one, um, heck of a... a little vehicle you have there.

[Katy Perry] You are sparkling like the diamond we always knew you were.

Just watching you sell the emotion of the song

is one of the most impressive things I've seen since I've been judging.

Tremendous job.

[announcer] Start your journey.

[guitar tuning]

The fuck?

Hello, chaps. Welcome, once again.

If you are a beginner guitarist, there's a really high chance

that you are making one of these five mistakes.

Then I had, you know, a period of time

where I was just practicing that for just a whole weekend, in my pajamas.

There's only one way to become a Jeff Beck, a Jimmy Page.

Let me tell you.

[guitarist] This is how you might imagine a typical guitar progress curve.

Once you've put in your 10,000 hours,

you're officially a professional guitarist.

[electronic guitar playing]

- Oh, no. - The three P's:

practice, practice, practice, practice. So, let's go with the four P's.

- [laughs] - [guitar screeches]

I'm gonna teach you music theory in ten minutes.

What up, YouTube? Your boy, ZR, ready to teach you

how to shred the gnar on guitar.

Hi again. Miss Allison here.

- Now it's your turn! - What are you wearing?

[rock music playing]

Well, let me tell you, you are about to embark on a relationship

that will last you a lifetime.

One of joy and calm and peace.

A guitar is a lot like a bicycle.

You put a little bit into it, and you get a hell of a lot out.

But this is just by way of an introduction to lessons with me.

Let's all just sit here and... and think about that for a second.

About the potential that's already there in the room with you right now.

If you wanna learn to play, just hit that button there and sign up.

Bye.

Twenty fucking dollars?

[R & B music playing]

[chattering]

[cameraperson] Perfect. Perfect.

♪ Got magic Abra da Cabra ♪

♪ Got magic Abra da Cabra ♪

[cameraperson] That's very nice, girls. Very nice.

♪ Serious charms I got serious fuckin' charms ♪

♪ Red hot girls buzz around in swarms ♪

♪ Round me neck Hangin' off me arms ♪

♪ Serious guns, I got serious guns Blap, blap, blap... ♪

Come on. It's dinner time.

♪ Got wand, got whip Got honey, got grip ♪

♪ Got money, got wow! ♪

♪ Got shot, so what? No worry Got God on me payroll... ♪

See ya, Samantha.

♪ Got girls appearing From the North Side ♪

It looks brilliant.

[person, through phone] Whoo! [screams] Fuck!

This is crazy. Whoo!

Flying like eagles. And... Ah, shit! Shit... [speaking indistinctly]

[sighs] Right, I'm going out.

To where? To that lot you were with today?

No, just off to Rhys's house, then over to the precinct for a bit.

You're not going to do some BASE jumping off some buildings or something?

No. We don't have a GoPro anyway.

'Cause the last thing I want is the Guards calling here,

telling me you've fallen off a tower block or something.

And you're dead. And gone.

Be back at 9:00!

- For what? - Because I fucking say so.

I can't wait for the day I don't have to be here.

The only reason you're here is 'cause your da wants his days off

for his projects.

Otherwise you'd be with him 24-7, trust me.

If you don't want me here, why do I have to be back at 9:00?

Don't play mind games with me. Get out.

[laptop chimes]

[Jeff] Hey, Flora, are you my 12:00 p.m.?

Yeah.

- How are you? - [Flora swallows]

[smacks lips] I'm all right. How are you?

Yeah, sun is shining in Los Angeles.

I can smell the eucalyptus on the breeze, so, uh, can't complain.

Yeah, lovely here in Dublin too.

Is it evening there?

No, it's just permanently this grim.

[chuckles] So, you wanna learn the guitar.

[blows] Is it easy?

Uh, depends what you wanna do with it.

Do you want to, uh, just play for your own pleasure,

or you wanna play for other people,

you wanna write songs on it or learn your favorite songs?

What are you hoping to get out of this?

I look at women playing the guitar or the piano, and it's so sexy.

Wow. [chuckles] I guess that is why a lot of people take up an instrument.

- Is that why you took it up? - Uh, no.

No, you look pretty good. Wouldn't say you need it.

- Okay. [chuckles] - So why'd you start then?

Let's focus on you, all right?

Good plan.

Okay. So, let's sit it up there.

I'll teach you some root chords. Let's start with G.

[Flora sighs]

Ready?

- [sighs] Brilliant. - Okay.

[guitar strums through computer]

So how many chords do you need to know before you can write a song?

Uh, it's... it's... [chuckles] it's not really, um...

[smacks lips] ...about the number of chords.

It's more, you know, how you use them.

- Mmm. - Like, um... Here.

[fast tempo plays]

[singing "I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You"]

[song ends]

Okay. Same song.

[Flora] Mm-hmm.

[slow tempo plays]

[singing "I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You"]

[song ends]

[chuckles]

Jesus.

Yeah, so the first version, it uses all the same,

you know, paints and canvas and brushes.

But the second version has got 20 years of life and heartache on display.

You can see all the brushstrokes.

All that personality's in the same three chords.

And you can know a thousand chords

and never write something as beautiful as that.

Is that your problem?

I didn't know I had a problem.

You're teaching guitar online, love.

- [chuckles] Right. You're Irish. - So do you know a thousand chords?

What I'm saying is, we all know the same number of words,

but we don't all write a Shakespeare sonnet.

I'm confused.

Good. What are your goals? Besides being sexy.

Impress people.

- Who? - Men.

- Why? - Sex and company.

Yeah, but what else?

To make them like me.

- Why don't they like you already? - [chuckles] I don't know.

Maybe they can't see your brushstrokes.

[smacks lips] Are you coming on to me?

- Sorry? - So you're a songwriter too?

- How do you know that? - Google.

Took about six seconds.

Where do you live in LA?

I live in Topanga Canyon.

Oh, I heard of that. I bet you drive a pickup and work with horses.

[chuckles] I do not work with horses.

What's your star sign?

- I don't know. - You don't know your own birthday?

Let's get back to the lesson, all right? [stammers]

Let me ask you, do you consider yourself a big music person?

I mean, I was always very attracted to musicians.

I married one. He was on the same bill as Snow Patrol once.

No, I'm asking, what are you doing here, Flora, if music's not really your thing?

I liked the look of ya.

[chuckles] Okay.

All the other teachers seemed like real posers and wankers,

you know, failed musicians.

But you seemed sorta...

real.

I am real.

You sorta calmed me down when I saw you for the first time.

Your voice was all soothing. Like a bath.

[chuckles] Right.

Can I ask you something?

- Sure. - You might find it a little bit weird.

Could you play that same song again, but this time...

with your shirt off?

[Jeff sighs]

[laptop chimes]

[electronic music playing]

[breathes deeply]

[Aishling sighs, groans]

- [clears throat] - [flatulence]

Dear Jeff, I'm sorry for messing around on our last lesson.

Suffice to say that wine had been taken.

I do intend to learn the guitar and take it seriously. Why? I don't know.

I was always the one in class making fun of the teacher.

Because someone had to. But I won't, if you'll keep teaching me.

Sorry I objectified ya.

I can send you a picture of my amazing tits

to balance things out again, if you'd like? Flora.

- [camera shutter clicks] - [cell phone chimes]

Right, now... [sighs] ...let's get that shite off your arse. [sighs]

Ready?

[electronic music playing through headset]

[cell phone chimes]

[keyboard clicking]

- What is that? - Shh.

[electronic music playing through headset]

[clicking continues]

- What are you doing though? It's annoying. - Shut up!

Fucking woman.

- [cell phone chimes] - Fuck.

- Right, I'm going out. - Oh, good.

I mean, where?

Just around.

You gonna be hanging out with that girl I've seen you with?

The one dressed up like a prostitute in your man's video?

Samantha? Don't know, she could be there.

What's she like?

Don't know. Don't really care. Right, back at 9:00.

Or 10:00!

If you like.

[swallowing] Hiya.

[chuckles] Can't believe you got back to me.

Well, you're a challenge. I like a challenge. Should we get started?

Let's rock.

All right. Flora, let's get to know you a bit better.

What is your all-time favorite song?

Uh...

I'm more into dance music. Uh...

Oh, "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt.

Okay, we're gonna have a problem.

- Why? - That's not an acceptable song.

It's catchy.

So was cholera.

I don't know that one.

If you're gonna be learning to play songs,

we're just gonna need to raise the bar a little bit.

- What have you written then? - I'm a teacher.

Exactly. So shut up criticizing Blunt.

- You do it. - [chuckles] Do what?

Write a song that reaches millions of people's hearts and makes them weep.

Making people cry is not an achievement. Bullies do it every day.

Let's hear one of your songs then.

Lyrics need to be more than just "you're beautiful"

or some series of platitudes for lonely women,

trying to make 'em feel better about themselves.

That's not a love song. That's a self-help group.

You don't know the first thing about women if you think that.

I know that grown-ups don't want to be told how pretty they are

like some creep trying to pick 'em up at a bar.

Jesus Christ, it's just a bloody song.

No. It is never just a song.

It is a three-and-a-half-minute pause in time

in which to do something wonderful, something touched by God.

Oh, no. Are you some sort of Christian evangelist dude?

♪ I get along without you ♪

♪ Very well ♪

♪ Of course, I do ♪

♪ Except when soft rains fall ♪

♪ And drip from leaves, then I recall ♪

♪ The thrill of being sheltered ♪

♪ In your arms ♪

♪ Of course, I do ♪

♪ But I get along without you ♪

♪ Very well ♪

- [scoffs] Jesus Christ. - Right?

- That's unbelievable. - So simple, so direct.

Nothing about beauty.

You are a genius.

[chuckles] Uh... So you really like it?

It's stunning. You've got to get that out there in the world.

You think that would sell as much as, uh, "You're Beautiful"?

Maybe not as much as that. I mean, I still like the other song too. Is that allowed?

No, that's... [chuckles] Stockholm syndrome.

We're gonna "de-brainwash" you. By the time we're finished here,

you're not gonna have time for these childish jingles and clichés.

- I'm exhausted. - Well, we're just getting started.

You wanna learn the chords to that song so you can play it?

- Yeah. - All right. Starts with C.

[guitar chord plays]

So, your ring finger, here on the fifth string.

Right there at that dot. Yep.

You have lovely long fingers. Mine are quite stubby.

Your fingers don't matter. Django Reinhardt was missing two fingers.

- Oh, wow. I love him. - Uh-huh.

[guitar plays]

So, the middle finger there, then your pointer's way up here.

- Mmm. - Yep. Yep.

- There. And there? - There you go. One up. Strum that.

Yeah! Yeah.

Whoo! [laughs]

- Feels good, right? - Yeah, baby!

[Jeff chuckles]

Sorry.

- What's that? - Oh, nothing. I love this. [sighs]

You're a quick learner.

- I knew I'd be good at this. - Mm-hmm.

- Let's move on. What else you got? - [clicks tongue]

Well, next would be G and then F, but let's stick for a second on C.

Okay, let's.

You are now the proud owner of C, right?

And you didn't own that five minutes ago.

You're rich. You own something Elvis owned.

- Mmm. I'd rather have his plane. - Plus, it didn't cost you anything.

Well, $20 for this class, but I do know what you mean. Go on.

You own something new, and nobody can take it away from you.

And this isn't just some must-have object.

It's not a bag or a car or a phone.

[stammers] You ever seen an ad for a guitar? No, it sells itself.

This is a gift you can take to your grave, and you can use it whenever you want.

And in the right context,

it can speak directly to your heart in ways we don't even understand.

More than thoughts, more than words, more than ideas.

Just a chord, hanging there in the air.

C.

[chuckles]

[performer singing indistinctly]

♪ Woken up by the birds ♪

♪ She wonders what they think about ♪

♪ If instead ♪

♪ She meets a man Who shows her magic tricks ♪

♪ All sorts of magic tricks ♪

♪ And he lets her live... ♪

[singing continues indistinctly]

- Can anyone sign up? - [blows] For sure, yeah. That's the idea.

Just keeping the music local.

What's the cash prize?

Eighty percent of the door. There's usually about 50 punters.

- How much a head? - Fiver.

Jesus, that's pricey enough. Are they all that shit?

It's not about that. It's about keeping music alive in the neighborhood.

That's all I'm about.

So who decides who wins?

I do. Barry Byrne. Events promoter.

I know who you are, Barry.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, Jesus. How are ya?

Don't tell me. Fiona.

- Flora. - Ah.

- [patrons applauding] - Knew you were in the F's.

Better go in. Good to see you again.

In the daylight.

I bet she wins!

[Ian] Singing...

[singing rock song]

[Max] You look very young.

[Ian] I was very young.

[song continues]

How much do you think that cost to shoot that?

- No clue. - Two grand we got

from the record label for it.

[Ian] We had a crane for every shot in this. Every shot.

- [Max] Did you have a trailer? - No, but we had a fucking crane.

So, did you go to America for that?

- Looks like it, doesn't it? - Yeah.

No, we fucking shot it all around Drimnagh.

[song continues]

Why is there a cop in every shot?

'Cause... [stammers] ...it's America, you know.

- There's that same cop again. - Fucking pay attention, will you?

[song continues]

There's Ma. See ya, Da.

[sighs]

[Ian] What's that?

What's what? Oh, it's just me guitar. [chuckles]

I have a lesson later. I thought I'd do it in the park.

What's this all about, Flora?

- What's what about? - This whole fucking musical thing.

Anytime I tried to get ya to listen to new music, you just fucking tuned out.

Yeah, my tutor says I have "genuine appreciation of melody."

[chuckles] Now.

What do you listen to then? Apart from club music.

Give me five bands. Go on.

Well, I like his songs anyway.

Oh, he's a songwriter too, is he?

Yeah, he is. He's brilliant actually.

What's his name?

Jeff...

the guitar guy.

Sounds like some fucking clown who never made it,

teaching guitar lessons online.

That's the ultimate graveyard for failed musicians.

Are you a little bit jealous?

No. [scoffs] Just concerned.

- How's Juanita? - She's great.

Mmm. You do know she's not Spanish, right?

Her nana's people were from Spain.

[chuckles] My people were from Norway. That doesn't make me a fucking Viking.

[whispers] Does she blow you like I did?

What? Shut up.

I'm serious. Does she?

You're nuts.

She doesn't blow you, does she?

Yeah, she does. She... [scoffs] She has. Yeah.

She doesn't. I knew it. Her mouth's too small.

Is she out? Will I come up for a few minutes?

We'll send Max off for an ice cream.

Don't be fucking mad.

I bet she doesn't let you come all down her neck and tits the way I did.

Come on, Max!

Are you getting rid of that guitar?

This? No, why?

[bell rings]

- [yells, grunts] Wake up, will you! - [pedestrian] Jesus.

- Fuck off! - [groans]

You stepped right in front of me. Will you watch where you're going?

You watch where you're going or I'll wrap that fucking lock around your neck!

[cyclist grunting]

What are you doing with it then?

It was just sitting there. Why? Do you want it? You can have it.

I don't. I don't like acoustic guitar music anyway.

[Flora] What are you into then?

[Max] Ambient. Electronic.

[Flora] I always loved dance music.

[Max] Like what?

[Flora] Container. Sophie is amazing.

Orbital, back in the day.

- [Max] Who the fuck are they? - Dance music.

What are you into then?

[Max] Marconi Union. Do you know them?

[Flora] No.

[Max] They're from Manchester, I think. Real trance music.

It sounds like a computer made it. It's deadly.

I have some on me phone if you want to listen to them.

What, now?

- Whenever... - Right, you've got your key.

There's waffles in the fridge. I'm heading out.

- Bye. - I'll be back in an hour and a half!

I don't care.

[children shouting]

[guitar playing]

[Flora] So, am I ready?

[Jeff] For what?

To write a female empowerment ballad and get me husband back.

Why did he leave?

Anger?

Why is he angry?

No, me. I'm angry. I almost killed a cyclist today with his own lock.

What are you angry about?

Dunno. I wake up angry.

I'm angry at me son all the time.

I thought this guitar lark might make him think I'm cool.

Hold on. You have a son?

I had him when I was very young. I was 17. Do you have kids?

I do. I actually had them kinda young too, so they're huge now.

But they do think I'm cool.

Play me your song again.

[chuckles] Yeah, I wanted to bring that up.

So that wasn't my song.

[Flora] What? Whose is it?

It was written by Hoagy Carmichael.

Oh, love. Why'd you tell me it was your song?

Well, I didn't. Uh, you presumed.

But then I let you. So, sorry.

Why?

I guess I wanted to see how it felt.

To what?

To have written a song like that, in someone else's eyes.

Yeah, uh, stupid. I apologize. Let's get back to the lesson.

Why? What normally happens?

Oh, you wanna hear one of my songs?

- Yeah. - All right.

♪ Get in my car I'll drive you through the canyon ♪

♪ Breathe in Topanga for the day ♪

♪ And when we reach the ocean ♪

♪ And we can't go further west ♪

♪ We'll keep on driving anyway ♪

♪ She's never boring She's kind to me ♪

♪ And every morning she's a mystery ♪

♪ Welcome to LA ♪

♪ Where everything and nothing changes Every single day ♪

♪ The sunshine on the darkness melts The morning haze away ♪

♪ And I won't let the bright lights Bring me down ♪

♪ In this angels town Welcome to LA ♪

It's lovely. You're really good at songs.

[Jeff] But?

Would I wanna hear it again?

Sorry.

No, no. Don't be sorry. If everybody were as honest as you,

I wouldn't have had to waste a decade and a half of my life.

We should, uh, get back to the lesson.

Don't feel sorry for yourself.

No, no. I'm not. I mean, it's... it's a humbling realization.

You know, you sit down and wanna play something for somebody, and they're ready.

You're, like, receptive.

And you watch as their eyes glaze over.

And, um, it's harder for them than it is for you.

It's the smiling with the mouth but not the eyes. That's how you know.

Know what?

That they're unchanged.

Anyway. A, D and E. One, four, five.

[guitar playing]

[sighs]

[Jeff] Come on.

You know what, I'm, uh... I'm gonna give you some homework tonight.

There's a song I want you to listen to.

I'll send you a link.

Give it a listen.

Play. Come on.

[computer chimes]

[applause]

♪ Rows and floes of angel hair ♪

- ♪ And ice cream castles in the air ♪ - [applause]

♪ And feather canyons everywhere ♪

- ♪ I've looked at clouds that way ♪ - [dishes clatter]

♪ But now they only block the sun ♪

♪ They rain and snow on everyone ♪

♪ So many things I would have done ♪

♪ But clouds got in my way ♪

♪ Oh, I've looked at clouds From both sides now ♪

♪ From up and down, and still somehow ♪

♪ It's cloud illusions I recall ♪

♪ I really don't know clouds ♪

♪ At all ♪

♪ Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels ♪

♪ The dizzy dancing way you feel ♪

♪ As every fairy tale comes real ♪

♪ Oh, I've looked at love that way ♪

♪ But now it's just another show ♪

♪ You leave 'em laughing when you go ♪

♪ And if you care, don't let them know ♪

♪ No, don't give yourself away ♪

♪ I've looked at love From both sides now ♪

♪ From give and take, and still somehow ♪

♪ It's love's illusions I recall ♪

♪ Oh, I really don't know love ♪

♪ At all ♪

♪ Oh, I've looked at life From both sides now ♪

♪ From win and lose and still somehow ♪

♪ It's life's illusions I recall ♪

♪ Oh, I really don't know life ♪

♪ At all ♪

[sobs, sniffles]

[applause]

Can I meet him? I mean, see him.

- No. - Please.

I'll just stand in the corner of the room. I'll be like a little mouse.

That'd be so wrong.

Is he good-looking? Do you have a screen grab?

- It's not about that. - So he's a pig then.

He never says what you expect him to say.

And he's sensitive. You can see in his eyes he's been hurt.

Ugh.

[Kathy] What are his songs like?

Uh, not great.

Oh, Jesus. You've fallen in love with an ugly fella who lives 6,000 miles away.

Basically.

[Flora singing indistinctly]

and we'll fuck behind the dunes. [chuckles]

[electronic music playing loudly]

Fucking hell! Jesus Christ, it's like a club in here!

Turn it down a second!

- Jesus, that's loud. - [music stops]

Yeah, Keith lent them to me.

Really powerful. Have to give them back tomorrow.

The neighbors will be complaining.

They're junkies. They'll be asking to turn it up.

Who's Keith?

He's a mate. A rapper. He lent me these for the night.

- For what? - So I could mix this track.

Was that yours?

You're joking me. How the fuck did you make that? It sounded epic.

GarageBand. It's simple.

Explain.

Um, you get all your sounds from here, like, instruments and all.

- And you can get loops from here. - What are loops?

Drum patterns and stuff. I mean, you can make your own.

But you need a proper sequencer for that.

And how do you control them? Like, how do you get that mad piano sound?

[sighs] Well, you open the "Keyboard typing," you know,

use the laptop keys.

[piano tune playing]

No way.

[piano tune plays]

Sounds like a piano.

- [percussion playing] - Oh, shit.

[piano, percussion harmonizing]

Not on me track. Turn it off.

Jesus, it sounds very professional.

It is. It's what loads of people start on. It's shit doing it like this though.

You need a proper synth. Takes forever doing one note at a time.

I've been at this for three hours today. I'm fucking starving.

Play it again.

Please just make me a cheese toastie.

[music plays]

[music stops]

Please.

After.

[music resumes]

Do you have a lyric?

- Got these, but they're not finished yet. - Come on.

♪ Come on, girl You know how much I want you ♪

♪ Like a ghost, I'm going to haunt you Meet me at me crib ♪

♪ Bring your friends Maybe we can drive a Mercedes-Benz ♪

♪ We'll hang out poolside Have a drink ♪

♪ Swimming against the tide Not gonna sink ♪

♪ Come on, girl Let's get in trouble ♪

♪ Shaken, not stirred A James Bond from Dublin ♪

[music continues]

What's it called?

"Dublin 07." Like James Bond, but Dublin.

Nah. You need a better title. Let me try something here.

♪ We got something real ♪

♪ From the Joker with the Glasgow smile Ready to die for you, I go in style ♪

♪ Dressed from head to toe in Italian In the bed, I'm like a stallion ♪

♪ I'm the king of the MMA Like Conor McGregor, only not as gay ♪

♪ Living the dream In a bed full of bitches ♪

♪ The Midas touch, I got the riches ♪

♪ And when they come and stitch me up They better use Gucci stitches ♪

It's fucking class, isn't it?

[music stops]

Fucking hell, Son.

Is this what you've been doing on those headphones?

Don't move.

[sighs]

Come over here and hear what your son made.

[Max, through laptop] ♪ Come on, girl You know how much I want you ♪

♪ Like a ghost, I'm going to haunt you Meet me at me crib ♪

♪ Bring your friends Maybe you can drive a Mercedes-Benz ♪

♪ We'll hang out poolside Have a drink ♪

♪ Swimming against the tide Not gonna sink ♪

♪ Come on, girl Let's get in trouble ♪

♪ Shaken, not stirred A James Bond from Dublin ♪

[Flora] ♪ We got something real ♪

[Max] ♪ From the Joker with The Glasgow smile ♪

- ♪ Ready to die for ya, I go in style ♪ - I love this.

- That's me singing! [laughs] - [Max] ♪ In the bed, I'm like a stallion ♪

♪ I'm the king of the MMA Like Conor McGregor, only not as gay ♪

♪ Living the dream In a bed full of bitches ♪

♪ The Midas touch, I got the riches ♪

♪ And when they snip me and stitch me up They better use Gucci stitches ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪ - [Flora] ♪ We got something real ♪

♪ Come and get me, guys Come and get me, boys ♪

♪ Come and kill me... ♪

Can you fucking play or what?

I'm not playing for you.

- Go on, give us a tune on that guitar. - [snoring]

- Come on. - [Flora] No.

It's not that big of a fucking deal. Would you just play one song?

[Flora] Okay.

[sighs] Ian. Why are you doing this to me?

Come on, you'll be great.

I can play you a song I wrote.

- Okay, yeah. Yeah. - Yeah?

Oh, my God. Okay.

- [vocalizing] - Yeah.

♪ She goes by the name ♪

♪ Sweet Juanita ♪

[chuckles]

♪ She hails from the town ♪

♪ Of Dublin ♪

♪ Her mother was from... ♪

- Blanchardstown? - Yeah. Blanch...

♪ Blanchardstown ♪

[cheers]

♪ Her father was from... ♪ [speaks indistinctly]

- Come on, Max! - [Ian chuckles]

[vocalizing]

♪ Juanita, Juanita, Juanita, Juanita ♪ [vocalizing]

[speaks indistinctly] They're fabulous.

Can I try that on?

Yeah.

Can we get it?

What's it made of?

Uh, it's full of feathers. Goose feathers.

From a golden goose? Anyway, it's too big.

That's the look.

Yeah, for turtles. Come on, let's go!

- [Jeff] Yeah. See that? - Oh, yeah?

You're making progress. Your left hand's getting stronger.

Thank you.

I've been thinking about your song.

Okay.

I think it's salvageable.

Good to know.

The problem is that you have a great opening verse.

But the chorus isn't a lot better.

Now, in my research, I find that choruses used to be the big deal in a song.

You know, what everyone was waiting for.

But, nowadays, it's not like, "Here comes the chorus, everyone."

You know, 'cause unless you have a killer chorus, which you don't,

it's an anticlimax.

So, what you're saying is, my verse is too good?

Wow. You are a glass-half-full kind of guy.

- [chuckles] - I guess that's one way of looking at it.

You play the first verse and sing it,

and then play it again, and I'll hum what I mean. Ready?

- What, now? - Yeah.

What about the lesson?

- This is the lesson. Go. - [chuckles]

Okay. So, you want me to play...

♪ Get in my car I'll drive you through the canyon ♪

♪ Breathe in Topanga for the day ♪

♪ And when we reach the ocean ♪

♪ And we can't go further west ♪

♪ We'll keep on driving anyway ♪

[Flora humming]

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la ♪

Do you know what I mean?

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

Up, up, up.

♪ La, la ♪

Um...

No. It's, like... That's not it. Um...

- ♪ La, la ♪ - ♪ La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La ♪

Like, uh...

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

And have a better lyric?

Okay. I'll get right on that.

No, I have a... a better lyric.

Oh, you do?

Yeah, I'll email them. You can take 'em or leave 'em.

I'll, uh... I'll give 'em a shot.

I'll try to fold them in. I can't promise it'll work.

Okay. Whatever. Can I get 10%?

You can get 100%. I stopped trying to make money with my music.

I tried that for years. It almost killed the thing I love.

This is fun. [chuckles]

- Yeah. - [chuckles]

All right, Flora, see you next week.

Okay.

[laptop chimes]

[button clicks]

He's very cute.

Right?

[R & B music playing]

- [Keith rapping] ♪ Shiny new wheels ♪ - [cameraperson] You are absolute naturals.

♪ Drop top roof so your man can run ♪

- ♪ Gone like poof! when the Garda come ♪ - That's it, girls. Keep it going.

♪ Got wand, got whip, got honey Got grip, got money, got style ♪

♪ Got caught, so what? No worry ♪

- ♪ Them Guards can't resist my smile ♪ - Sell it. Sell it.

♪ Got girls appearing From the North Side ♪

- That's brillo. - ♪ Got girls appearing ♪

♪ From the South Side ♪

♪ Like that Girls in the back o' my ride ♪

♪ Goin' back to me flat in my Hyundai ♪

- [song continues] - [cameraperson] Lovely. That's enough.

[music stops]

[cameraperson] Right. Now, I say we...

Hey, Samantha.

How are you, Matt? [grunts]

Why don't you just ask her out, for waffles?

No way.

- [Flora] Hiya, Samantha? - [Max] Jesus Christ.

Are you Cheryl's daughter?

Hiya, Flora.

Jesus, you've shot up.

Stop, I know. Taller than me mother now.

- How's your ma? - [Samantha] Oh, she's grand.

Talks about you all the time. The crack youse had. [laughs]

[laughs] Don't talk to me!

Do you wanna come up for a bit of dinner with me and Max?

When you wrap?

Ah. No, you're grand.

Come on. Come up for some garlic bread.

Nah. No, thanks.

Right. Okay. See ya.

See ya.

[door opens]

What are you doing right now?

You don't want to know.

Tell me what you feel about her.

[Max] I can't stop thinking of her.

Good. Obsession. You're obsessed.

I suppose.

[Flora] I was obsessed with your da.

[Max] I don't care.

[Flora] So go on.

She's totally out of me league.

No, she's not.

Yeah, she is. She gets off with Keith.

She thinks that Keith can offer her something.

He's all glamorous and dangerous with the 1,000-euro jackets.

She needs to know that when she's done with her gangster, you'll be there.

- That's you. The red. - [Flora] Hmm.

[electronic music playing]

[Max] If we had an external microphone,

- the quality would be much better. - Yeah.

- [Max] Do you want me to put reverb on? - Yeah, can you?

Yeah.

[guitar tune playing]

[both chuckle]

That's cool. Do it better and I'll loop it.

- Right. Write these down. - [music stops]

- Go. - You ready?

Yeah.

And when you're done getting knocked down.

And when you're done getting up again.

And when you're down on the canvas, baby...

- Ooh. - I'll... Come on.

"And when you're down on the canvas...

- baby... - baby."

I'll be the one that never counts your heart out.

I'll be the one in your corner.

Ooh, I like that boxing metaphor.

[Max, Flora] ♪ I'll be the one I'll be the one ♪

[Max] ♪ I'll be the one ♪

[music fades to stop]

Now send that to her.

What?

Well, that's the idea. She has to hear your passion.

It'll knock her off her feet. Do you have her email?

Are you serious?

In fact, why stop there?

[person] Right, lads, youse have 20 minutes.

[Max] ♪ And when you're done With your boyfriend ♪

♪ And when you're done With the Tallaght girls ♪

♪ I'll be the one who's waiting ♪

- [Flora] Come on, sing it to her. - ♪ And when you're done ♪

- ♪ With your baby sister ♪ - Sing it to her! She's in the camera,

- in the lens. Think about that. - ♪ Banging the wall of your bedroom ♪

- Look at her. - ♪ And when you're done ♪

- ♪ With the street drugs ♪ - Get angry.

- You know what I mean? Think about Keith. - ♪ And when you're done ♪

♪ With the stolen cars ♪

That's it. Move your shoulders.

♪ And when you've run ♪

- ♪ All your red lights ♪ - That's it.

- Move your face. Express yourself. - ♪ I'll be the one ♪

♪ Who would run through The night for you ♪

- Get angry! Come on. Think about it. - ♪ I'll be the ghost in your headlights ♪

- I'll slap that phone out of your hand. - ♪ And when you're done ♪

- ♪ With your college ♪ - Okay.

- Okay, I want you to think about her now. - ♪ And when you're done ♪

- ♪ With the college boys ♪ - I want you to think about her with Keith.

♪ When you think you know What the world is, darlin' ♪

- ♪ I'll be the one getting educated ♪ - How does that make you feel in here?

♪ 'Cause I wanna know everything About you ♪

♪ I'll be the one I'll be the one ♪

♪ I'll be the one I'll be the one ♪

♪ I'll be the one I'll be the one ♪

♪ And when you're done Getting knocked down ♪

- That's it. Now I like it. Now I'm happy. - ♪ And when you're done getting up again ♪

♪ And when you're down On the canvas, baby ♪

♪ I'll be the one that never counts ♪

- ♪ Your heart out ♪ - What about "Flora and her Son"?

- "Flora and her Son"? - Mm-hmm.

What about "Max and his Ma"?

♪ I'll be the one I'll be the one ♪

♪ I'll be the one I'll be the one ♪

♪ I'll be the one I'll be the one ♪

♪ I'll be the one I'll be the one ♪

♪ I'll be the one I'll... ♪

[car horn honks]

[Flora] Now send that to her.

[audio rewinding]

[Flora] Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I need the room. I'm late for my lesson.

[Max] I can't. I'm editing the video.

What about my lesson, Max?

- I can't help you. - [audio rewinding]

I worked on that idea of yours. For my song.

- You wanna hear it? - Yeah.

- You got your lyrics handy? - Mm-hmm.

[guitar playing]

♪ Get in my car I'll drive you through the canyon ♪

♪ Breathe in Topanga for the day ♪

♪ And when we reach the ocean ♪

♪ And we can't go further west ♪

♪ We'll keep on driving anyway ♪

Now you go ahead.

♪ I'll take you down to Dollymount ♪

♪ And we'll fuck behind the dunes ♪

♪ I'll kiss your mouth All whiskey breath ♪

♪ And then I'll leave Your heart in ruins ♪

[Jeff] Sing with me.

[both] ♪ Maybe we should meet In the middle ♪

♪ Maybe we could find A little city no one knows ♪

♪ And if they just gave us A minute on our own ♪

♪ Maybe we could call it home ♪

♪ Forget the stars of Hollywood ♪

♪ Or big old houses in Bel Air ♪

♪ I can introduce you To the angels of my city ♪

♪ But we'll find them anywhere ♪

♪ I'll drag you around town by your ear ♪

♪ Still wringing from the rain ♪

♪ I'll buy you chips and tea and beer ♪

♪ And then I'll crush your heart again ♪

[both] ♪ Maybe we should meet In the middle ♪

♪ Maybe we could find A little city no one knows ♪

♪ And if we just gave us A minute on our own ♪

♪ A minute on our own ♪

♪ Maybe we could call it home ♪

♪ Maybe we could call it home ♪

So now it just needs a killer bridge.

What's a bridge?

A bridge is a change for eight bars after the second chorus.

Okay.

- It sounds amazing. - It's better, right?

Yeah. It actually works.

I really struggled with that song.

It's very intimate, isn't it? Singing together like that.

It's a bit like, uh... [sniffs]

we've just made love or something.

- No, it's not like that. - In a way though.

I do feel a little bit naked right now.

I think music is all about romance.

I mean, look at A Star is Born.

- Not if I don't have to. - [chuckles]

How come the way things are are never enough for you?

They never were. I was always pushing things.

- Finding ways of getting outside meself. - Like how?

Like...

leaving school before everyone else.

And then getting pregnant and not getting an abortion

when everyone was telling me to.

I thought getting pregnant might make me feel different.

I thought giving birth, I'd be reborn.

Then I was stoned during most of his childhood.

I was drunk for the birth of both my kids.

Like in a bar?

- Like in the delivery room. - Oh, wow. [chuckles]

That's hard-core. Bet your wife loved that.

Right? She's the one pushing a nine-pound human through her vagina,

and I'm the one that's breaking.

Never admitted that to anybody before.

I was drunk the whole... whole first ten years of their lives.

What got you clean?

Well, having kids started it, and AA kept me off.

And, uh, really just learning to put them first.

- Is that the dawn behind you? - Christ, it is.

- Is that the sunset behind you? - Uh-huh.

[Flora] We've been up all night.

So, this is like, uh, pillow talk?

No, no, you owe me for six hours.

- I do not. - [chuckles]

No, I like talking to you.

I don't know why, 'cause nothing you say makes any sense.

Is that all?

Nothing's ever enough for you, is it?

Are you saying you don't find me a teeny bit attractive

- when I'm singing that song with you? - You're my student.

- So? - It's inappropriate.

Who's going to cancel you? You're already no one.

[sighs] I don't think I could start something with somebody

halfway across the planet, through a screen.

[stammers] My heart couldn't take it.

I'm not 19. [stammers]

Life's lonely enough as it is.

I could get a plane.

So could I.

- Well, then we'd miss each other. - [chuckles]

You're not coming here.

It would be like walking into a live soap opera.

Plus, I wanna see LA. This isn't all about you.

I could play our song for some friends in the business.

[chuckles] Ten percent.

I'd pick you up at the airport.

You'd better.

Oh, get yourself over here then.

So, what's so important it couldn't wait till we swap him over?

Sit down. Relax.

[Ian sighs]

- Want a glass of wine? - Wine, Flora?

At ten o'clock in the morning? No. [clicks tongue]

[groans] Few gurgles during the day.

How would you feel about looking after Max for a bit?

While I sorta found meself.

I didn't know you were lost.

Yeah, well, I haven't left Dublin in, like, ten years.

Where you thinking of going? Cork? Galway?

Yeah. Or LA, or...

What? Could you pick somewhere further away?

That's sort of the point.

Oh. Oh, I see.

[scoffs] This is about the fucking guitar guy, is it? Jeff.

I don't even know if he lives in LA. This is about me.

Look, it doesn't matter.

Can't be looking after Max.

You couldn't have picked a worse fucking time.

Why?

I'm starting up a wedding band with the lads outta Indigo Void.

Imagine this now, all right, me and the lads all in tuxes, shades on.

A whole fucking Rat Pack, Tarantino vibe. Fucking savage.

The beach is down the road from his house.

And it's constantly sunny.

And he has a pool in his yard that he put in himself.

Imagine Ian doing that. He'd fucking drown.

Do you know it's been 12 years since I had a bathing suit on?

You lucky bitch. Can I come?

And if things don't work out, that's fine.

I just come home, right?

But I get to say I did something brave.

For once in me life. Something about me.

Hasn't most of your life been a little bit about you?

- What are you talking about? - Uh, nothing.

I'm just saying, like, you've always followed your own thing.

Are you for me or against me?

Look, I'm totally into you going to LA to fuck this guy.

Maybe get your song heard by a couple of friends of his.

Totally into that story.

But last time I checked, miners and frontline workers were brave.

Speaking of brave...

would you look after Max for a bit?

Excuse me?

You've known him his whole life. He trusts you.

Plus, you have that spare room since your brother moved out.

- It's only for a month or so. - No, I can't.

- I wouldn't ask just anyone. - Yeah, you would.

What do you mean by that?

I have a job. I live with me mam. I have Shania.

Much and all as I love you,

I can't be looking after your nutter son as well.

I've never asked you to do anything with Max.

Yeah, but I was there for if you needed me to.

That's not good enough. You never offered.

Everyone says they care.

Every bloke I've met is all, "Ah, you have a kid.

Deadly. Let's give it a go. I'll rise to the occasion."

And then they fucking disappear.

And all me so-called mates are like, "Aw, you and Max are so cute."

But then they're off to Spain on their holidays,

and "they don't take kids at this resort."

Or ask them to fucking do something for you,

and they're nowhere to be found.

They never babysat. They never picked him up from school.

They never asked me what I might want or what my needs are.

Since I was 17, with a screaming child on me lap,

doing me head in, while youse were all living your fucking lives.

Now I want to live my life!

Should have thought about that 14 years ago, shouldn't you?

Do you think I wanted that child?

We were all fucking like rabbits. So I don't know.

Maybe you did. Maybe you didn't.

But you didn't get the boat to London, did you?

That was your call. Now don't be asking other people to pick up the pieces.

[shop owner] Hey! Hey!

Stop him!

[panting]

[panting]

[cell phone ringing]

- Hello? - Flora, it's Guard O'Connelly here.

We have Max again at the station. Can you come down?

[clicks tongue] Ah, for fuck's sake.

Right.

So young Max here stole an expensive piece of studio equipment

from a shop on Wicklow Street, causing the shop owner to give chase.

- How expensive was it? - That's not the point.

He's way past the number of thefts and charges

where we can keep him out of court and very likely a correctional facility.

- Are you joking me? - No.

Guard, there's gotta be some way to fix this.

- You're all he's got. - No, Flora, I'm done with him.

He's been robbing since he's been in short trousers.

He's a waste of space.

There's a time when you run out of road, and it's that time.

Like I said, I've tried everything.

And so have you, Flora.

Good luck, kid.

Lads, get that fella up from the cell there.

I want him in Interview Two, yeah?

A fucking 400-euro synthesizer?

- I told you I needed the right gear. - For what?

To rerecord that song. It sounded rubbish.

Who are you, fucking Drake? It's just a bleeding song on your laptop.

Did you not send her your video?

Yeah, I did. She hated it. She thought it was real creepy.

Well, fuck her then.

It's all your fault.

Getting me to stare into the camera all intense.

In me shorts, like a weirdo. She doesn't want to see that.

Oh, what does she want to see then?

You wouldn't understand.

I want to do it right.

Well, I'm sure she'll give you loads of attention when you're behind bars.

Women love criminals.

Oh, for fuck's sake. What movie are you in?

One without you in it. I mean, what do you care?

You'll be in LA with your boyfriend.

He's not my boyfriend.

Anyway, how do you know about that?

We live in a fucking shoebox.

I'll be grand with that.

You know, just get out of me way, woman.

Gladly!

[Flora] I've just come from his free legal aid lawyer.

They say he's defo gonna serve some time.

Little fucking bollocks. He's been given so many chances.

I know. Do you wanna let on we're still together?

When we stand up in court. Judges like that.

Yeah.

Flora, look... [sighs] Those places get a bad rep,

but they're not what they used to be, you know.

They're more like a school now than a detention center.

They've got football pitches in them. Art shit. Wi-Fi.

They're very fucking progressive, you know.

It might be the best thing for him.

Just having to man up, you know, look out for himself.

Make friends. Negotiate. People skills.

He's just been sitting around on his hole doing nothing.

But this would give us the time we were talking about.

For your dreams and my various projects.

We've been doing nothing but parenting him for the last 14 years.

How's he gonna have any respect for us

if we're just waiting around on him all the time?

He needs to know who I am.

And he needs to know who you are, Flora.

I'll see you in court on Tuesday.

This way.

Can you see me? I don't think you fucking care.

Could you hurry up, please?

Thank you very fucking much for your time.

Treating us like criminals. Following us out. Do you mind?

I'll tell you something. She better not come in here...

[speaks indistinctly]

- Did you text him? - Yeah, twice.

I'll text him again.

Pick up your phone, you fucking asshole.

This is the one thing you need to be at,

and you're sitting on your arse playing video games.

I've been texting you all morning, you fucking asshole.

Get over here.

[registrar] This case is now adjourned.

[registrar] Next case on the ballot is the state versus...

[speaks indistinctly] Can the defendant please step forward?

Next case on the ballot is Max Mulvey.

[judge] Any previous offenses?

[police officer] Six.

[lawyer] Max is an excellent student when he applies himself.

There's been drug use with both his parents.

His father is a musician, uh, but the band split up

and he's... he's struggled ever since.

His mother, uh... [stammers] ...has been holding down various jobs as a...

[stammers] a mother's helper. Commutes an hour a day.

[stammers] He excels in... in music...

[judge] I presume you're the defendant's mother?

Yes, Judge.

Um, his father was supposed to be here as well,

but he couldn't get out of work.

[judge] He lives with you both?

Yes, we both live with him. Uh, at two houses.

- We both take care of him. - [judge] I asked where Max lived.

Yes, Judge, uh, he lives with both of us.

But at two houses, mine and me husband's.

It seems to me a couple of months in a strict supervision environment

might teach you to respect the efforts your parents have made.

I'm going to impose an eight-week sentence on you, Mr. Mulvey,

in a juvenile correctional facility, and one year's probation.

I hope you learn your lesson in there,

and that I won't be seeing you again in my courtroom.

- I don't care. - [judge] Good man.

That's very harsh.

- Can I ask you a question? - [judge] Go ahead.

Are you a mother?

- [judge] Completely irrelevant. - Right.

[judge] But I believe if I weren't, I would have imposed a harsher sentence.

If the shop owner has his gear back,

- what's the point in sending him in there? - Madam...

I'll do whatever it takes to figure this out.

[judge] And what would that be?

I have 500 euros put away. I can give it to the shop owner.

And if he's satisfied with that, then he might drop the charges.

Otherwise, what's the point in sending him in there and breaking up me family?

Without him, I have nothing.

[judge] The owner isn't here.

And this is a legal matter, not a financial one.

Max has been on the liaison program for half his life.

I'd be making a mockery of it if I didn't impose a custodial sentence.

But in the light of your efforts, I'll reduce it.

Four weeks and a year's probation.

- [Max] You did brilliant. - No, I didn't.

- I'll be grand in there. - [Flora] No, you won't.

I will now, Ma.

[Flora crying]

Thanks, Ma.

Okay, Son.

You're okay.

[breathing shakily]

[sniffles]

So, I'm not coming to visit you.

When he gets out I might come, but I'd have to bring him.

How annoying is he?

Very annoying.

Yeah. [chuckles]

Oh, shit. I'm not gonna be able to play you my song.

Which song?

The song I wrote about you.

- You wrote a song about me? - Yeah.

It's about, you know,

your soul and the time we've spent and who you are.

What's it called?

- "Crazy Irish Bitch." [chuckles] - [laughing]

I haven't written a new song in a long time.

I just didn't feel like I had much to write about in life,

but, uh, I did, I guess. So thanks.

You're welcome.

So I'm your muse?

Yeah.

Although nowadays you're supposed to be offended by that, right?

Fuck that. Feels great. I wanna hear it.

I'll record it for you.

[sighs]

Hi, Judge. Do you have a second?

I'm the mad one from court the other week. [chuckles]

I know who you are. What is it?

Would you just make one small change to your sentence?

It's just a detail, but you could help make it happen.

What is it?

Would you let him bring his music stuff with him?

The info pack says there's no personal items,

but he has his headphones and a microphone.

I think it will be very good for him to continue with his music,

especially with all this time on his hands.

I don't see why I couldn't look into that.

[music beat playing]

- [drums beating] - [guitar playing out of tune]

- That's the one you want? - Yeah.

That's the one Keith has. It's class.

And that's a good microphone?

Yeah, it's very good for GarageBand and that.

It's an all-round good mic.

Thanks very much.

Little prick.

[inmate speaking indistinctly]

[electronic music playing through headset]

[Flora humming]

[guitar tune plays]

- [speaking indistinctly] - [music rewinds]

[music playing through headset]

[Max] Here, Ma. Check this out It's just a rough vocal.

[Max, through headset] ♪ Living in my life ♪

♪ Living in my hard life ♪

♪ Living in my life ♪ [vocalizes]

[laptop chimes]

[electronic music playing]

[chuckles]

ready to take your order whenever you're ready.

Sorry, you're telling me that the day you did the very thing

that you got locked up for

- was the best day of your life? - Yeah, hands down.

I felt like I was on fire meself. I felt alive that day.

Well, the best day of my life is the day I get out of this kip.

Yeah, but that's in the future.

I'm talking about up to now.

Well, I haven't had a good day, have I?

What about you, Max?

Best day of my life was the day I made a video with me ma.

[therapist] You made a video with your mother?

- Yeah. - Well, can we see it?

- No. - [therapist chuckles]

All right, but that's your day?

Yeah, that was a good day.

[sighs]

Okay, I'm gonna have to park this thing properly.

So I'll see youse inside, all right? Good luck.

- Get up with us. - No, no.

- I'll be at the bar. - Come on.

Come on. It'll be great.

Look, no offense, but I'm actually a professional bass player,

so I'm not gonna be playing some random amateur night. Thanks.

Hey, Da. You weren't at the court. You have to do this.

[sighs] I don't even have me bass.

I packed it. It's in the back seat.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

You're not getting out of this one, Ian.

[performer] ♪ Strawberry moon ♪

♪ Oh, you shine down You shine down on me ♪

♪ Another strawberry moon ♪

[music stops]

[cheering, applause]

- Give it up for Heart. - [audience member 1] Yeah!

Amazing, isn't she? Long career ahead of her.

Now, next up we have "Flora and Son."

Is that the name of the band? Yeah.

- Flora and Son. - [cheering, applause]

That's a lot of gear. Yeah, man, all right.

- [Flora] Hey, Jeff. - [Max] Watch this.

- Are you not gonna be roasting in that? - Shut up, no. I'll be grand.

[clears throat]

Hiya. Um, this is Jeff.

He's in LA. Say hello, Jeff.

- Hello, Dublin. - [audience clamors]

Always wanted to say that.

And, um, this is Ian on bass.

And Max, me son, on keyboards.

Um, we wrote this song together. Jeff helped. And Ian, sorta.

Um, but, uh, we thought we'd, uh, try it live for you, if-if-if that's all right.

- [audience cheers] - Okay. I've never done this before.

I've had diarrhea all week leading up to this.

[Jeff] Don't be nervous.

It's easy for you to say. This is a Dublin crowd.

- They'll savage me if I fuck it up. - [audience chuckling]

Okay, you ready?

One, two, three, four.

[piano tune playing]

♪ I've been bruised and broken I've been torn in fucking two ♪

♪ I've been working and running ♪

♪ Then I have to run home to you ♪

♪ And I'm not living in your life ♪

♪ And you're not living in mine ♪

♪ We've been getting it wrong forever ♪

♪ We'll get it right this time ♪

♪ And live in the high life ♪

Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

♪ You're a thief You're a shit thief ♪

♪ You're always getting caught ♪

♪ I'm a bitch But I'm your bitch ♪

♪ And I'm all you've fucking got ♪

♪ And I'm not living in your life ♪

♪ And you're not living in mine ♪

♪ We all get what we've been given ♪

♪ But we're not gonna give up tryin' ♪

♪ To live in the high life ♪

♪ Living in our high life ♪

♪ We're up on the high life ♪

♪ And it's a fine night to feel alive ♪

♪ Living the high life ♪

♪ Living in our high life ♪

♪ We're up on the high life ♪

♪ And it's a fine night to feel alive ♪

♪ This song's a love song ♪

It's not an apology.

♪ But sometimes I hate you ♪

♪ Reminding me of me ♪

♪ Woman, guess we're cut From the same cloth ♪

♪ Fourteen years in the same block ♪

♪ Nine long months in your belly ♪

♪ Down to the Coombe And I still wasn't ready ♪

♪ Three days late I arrived at the party ♪

♪ Smile on me face You're welcome, me hearty ♪

♪ Back to the gaff in the Liberties ♪

♪ Christening party Up with the knees ♪

♪ Girl, we are cut from the same cloth ♪

♪ All you feel, I feel the same loss ♪

♪ I see your eyes in the mirror Saint, angel, devil, sinner ♪

♪ Still laughin' at life With our fists up ♪

♪ Still getting our tea Down the chip shop ♪

♪ Still tough Tongues sharp as a flick-knife ♪

♪ Still here, still living the high life ♪

♪ And I'm not living in your life ♪

♪ And you're not living in mine ♪

♪ And this song's for all you mothers ♪

- ♪ We're all gonna be just fine ♪ - [cheering]

♪ We're living the high life ♪

♪ Living in our high life ♪

♪ We're up on the high life ♪

♪ And it's a fine night to feel alive ♪

- ♪ We're living the high life ♪ - [Jeff] ♪ Living the high life ♪

- ♪ Living in our high life ♪ - ♪ Living in our... ♪

- ♪ We're up on the high life ♪ - ♪ We're up on the high life ♪

♪ And it's a fine night to feel alive ♪

♪ Living the high life ♪

[Flora] Living the high life! Whoo!

- ♪ Living in our high life ♪ - [Flora chuckles]

- ♪ We're up on the high life ♪ - [Flora] Max!

♪ And it's a fine night to feel alive ♪

[Flora] And it's a fine night to feel alive!

- ♪ Living the high life ♪ - [Max] Top of the world, Ma. [laughs]

♪ Living in our high life ♪

♪ We're up on the high life ♪

♪ And it's a fine night to feel alive ♪

♪ Living the high life ♪

♪ Living the high life ♪

♪ We're up on the high life ♪

[scattered applause]

[audience member] You're fucking shite.

[item slides over microphone]

[light amplifier feedback]

[recorder clicks]

[Jeff] Hey. So here's that song I was telling you about,

that I wanted to play for you when you got here. [chuckles]

Uh, but I guess I'll play it now.

[clicks tongue, inhales deeply]

[guitar playing]

[Jeff] ♪ If I said purple ♪

♪ You'd say red ♪

♪ With your brown hair tumbling Like an unmade bed ♪

♪ Then we'd both die laughing ♪

♪ At something I said ♪

♪ Talking to you ♪

♪ I find my point ♪

♪ And you lose your shit ♪

♪ There's just so much broken ♪

♪ That the words can't fix ♪

♪ And the dawn is breaking ♪

♪ But I just can't quit ♪

♪ Talking to you ♪

♪ I've seen a Jesus ♪

♪ Roller skating down Sunset ♪

♪ Watched a ballet of sprinklers ♪

♪ In the rain ♪

♪ But I know I'd go crazy ♪

♪ If I couldn't get ♪

♪ To talk to you again ♪

♪ So if God takes me ♪

♪ And leaves you here ♪

♪ I want no black limousines ♪

♪ And no sad tears ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll still be hanging around ♪

♪ The atmosphere ♪

♪ Talking to you ♪

♪ And no words or music ♪

♪ Can come even near ♪

♪ To talking to you ♪