All language subtitles for Elba3dlarus

- Lulu'a?
- Dear.

Sorry, I'm late. I've worked all night
on drug and prostitution cases.

Sit down, sir.

Your disguise is too much!

I told that loser that two rings
are too much, but he wouldn't listen.

Talk about having twins.

Listen. Is my fly open? I can't see it.

It's closed. Install a camera here
for a better view.

Listen. I'm not in the mood.
Get me a beer.

- This is a fish restaurant.
- Don't argue. I'm a dealer!

Good evening.

- What will you have?
- Let us check the menu first.

Go ahead.

They have it.

We'd like half a kilo Kebab,
and half Kofta.

But this is a fish restaurant.

Listen to him. I'm a dealer, right?

- Calm down.
- I'm a dealer.

How can you be so disrespectful?

Get the gentleman his order.

It's fine, Hamada.

Go to work, and leave them to me.

- Come with me.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Let's go, sir.

Follow me, sirs.

A good evening to the Lord of Crime.

How are you Lulu'a?
Sorry for the mess and the bodies.

The maid didn't show up.

No worries. We're no strangers.

Who's that, Lulu'a?

He's one of the guys, sir.

He'll be handling the drugs.

Didn't you say he was an ex-inmate?

He's the ex-inmate.

Was he an archive employee?

- How did you get in?
- In a car, sir.

- He means the charge.
- What?

- What's the charge?
- Murder

You killed someone we know?

I killed…

I killed "The Plummy…"

"Salah The Plummy".

"Salah The Plummy", may he rest in peace.

Which one exactly?

- Is there more than one?
- There are nine. You flopped.

يخربيتك.

- He's from where?
- Al Ayat.

I killed the one from Al Ayat.

Do you vouch for him?
He could be undercover.

Do I look like a cop?

I know you're not a cop.

I meant a public officer.

WITH KHALED MUKHTAR
THE REAL DEAL

Does the guy know we're drug dealers?

- He knows.
- Where are the drugs?

Where are the drugs?

Don't touch me.

Come.

Leave us alone.

This is my powder lab.

There's weed too.

No. That's my pastrami line
for my personal use.

Try it. It's delicious.

- Try it.
- No, I quit.

My guys make the best powder.

I'm sure they're making talcum powder.

- No. This is big business.
- Give us two kilos for tasting.

- Two kilos for tasting?
- It's not a grocer's.

It's not my first time. Shut up.

Give me 20 kilos of this
and 250 grams of pastrami.

Now we're talking.

Give me 20 kilos
and 250 grams of pastrami.

Yes, Nou'a?

Is your mom asleep? Great.

Tell me. What are you wearing?

Do you know how many I've killed
in this business?

How many?

One hundred ninety-six,

including my best friend and his wife.
He caught me cheating with her.

You killed her so she wouldn't testify.

No, because she nagged a lot.

At that time, I was married
and my wife couldn't know.

- I had to kill my wife.
- To save her the shock.

No, we had money issues.

Sometimes I ask myself,

Am I really a monster,
or is it my childhood trauma?

Damn uncle Salim.

You can stop now. You've said too much.

I've decided to tell you everything.

The story stays between you, me
and the late uncle Salim.

And I killed him.

When I was a kid,

uncle Salim would pick me up from the gym.

- One day, we were driving back…
- Come on. That's enough.

- Take it easy.
- Hello.

Come on. You're good.

What? You're alive!

Is he uncle Salim?
Shame on you! What have you done to him?

He's not. That's "Salah The Plummy".

- From Barageel?
- No, Al Ayat.

- The one I've killed.
- I told you, people are bad.

Please, don't. I'll take my tray,

and I'll leave the pastrami.
I felt a good connection with you.

Watch out!

If they're falafel sandwiches,
you shouldn't add sesame seeds.

Because the falafel is full
of sesame seeds.

Hang up the phone, Hana. I'm exhausted…

Start the engine.

Start the car!

What's happening now?

- Drive now.
- Who are you?

Open the door, Mr. Khaled.

- Who's there?
- Open, Mr. Khaled.

- Don't be silly.
- We're not allowed to let anyone in.

If he sees you, he'll kill you. Get lost.

- Tell Mohamad to move.
- Drive, Mohamad.

Get lost! The camera.

But who are you?

- Turn the camera on.
- I'll do it.

- Mr. Khaled.
- As you've just witnessed, my dear fans,

we miraculously and safely escaped
a drug mob.

What you saw was real.
No acting was involved.

It's the only show
that gives you the real deal.

That's why it's called The Real Deal.

Dear listeners,

I am Dr. Soraya El Biblawi,
a couples' therapist.

I'm ready to answer all your questions.

Remember, it's not a hotline.
It's a warm line.

A warm line with Soraya El Biblawi.

A warm line with Thoraya El Biblawi.

- Something is off…
- How are you, Thoraya?

What do you want?
Don't you see the mood I'm in?

Anyways, I'm glad you're here.
Do I say Soraya or Thoraya?

Thoraya! Aren't we done
with your warm line?

People are calling you by mistake.

Your number is similar to that
of a restaurant.

What are you saying? It's not true.

A certain "Hope Whisper"
is calling me for two days…

What's her name?

- "Hope Whisper".
- What?

Is that even a name?
I'm sure a guy is playing you.

Hush now.

Hello! This is Dr. Soraya El Biblawi.
How can I help you?

I'd like two meat sandwiches,
with a box of pickles...

Wrong numbers happen all the time.

I didn't say anything.

Hello! This is Dr. Soraya El Biblawi.
How can I help you?

Well, I have a huge problem with Um Ali.

She's always late.

Don't worry, to each problem a solution.

Um Ali works late
and this is bothering you.

You're afraid it might affect Ali.

Who's Ali?

Your son from Um Ali.

I'm talking about the sweet Um Ali
that always arrives late,

and the milk is spilled.

And the milk is spilled, Soraya.

I have an idea. Let's order meat
sandwiches from that restaurant.

If they're good, work with him,
and forget the warm line.

No one ever calls you.

Oh, God!

I prefer Thoraya, it has a nice…

Khaled!

I know you're awake!

Why is my book draft in the bathroom?

- You told me to read it.
- In the bathroom?

So what?

Where are you at?

I'm at… I really liked that.

"Divorce is not the answer." I love it.

Are you mocking me?
You only read the title!

The title is deep. They say,
"Judge a book by its cover."

Have you watched the drug episode?
It was a scoop.

They're all the same, I'll watch it
when you bring something new.

You're right.

Mirna is wishing me a happy anniversary.
I wonder why?

No idea. Izzet wishes me the same.

- Is it Ashura?
- No. Easter Monday?

It was two weeks ago.
Maybe Nana's annual tribute.

Why would they wish us
a happy anniversary? And Nana isn't dead.

Yes, she's not dead.

What's on April 26?

Khaled has booked this place
for our anniversary six months ago.

- Really?
- Yes.

It was five years ago,
we met at that table over there.

The place opened two years ago.

It was a different restaurant before you.

No, ma'am. It was a salon.

No need to embarrass us more.

I was the hairdresser, and I fell for her.

- You're welcome.
- Thank you.

- Candle time?
- Yes.

Let's do it.

Should we say something?

- No, we blow them out.
- Okay.

- Happy anniversary.
- You too.

Five wonderful years
took me by storm, Soraya.

By storm?

Happy anniversary.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Happy anniversary.
- Angie!

This is Angie, guys!

- I've missed you.
- Missed you too.

Happy anniversary, Khaled.

- How are you, Angie?
- I'm good. Happy anniversary.

- Angie!
- Yes.

Let's talk.

- Did you invite her?
- Yes.

I felt sorry for her. I haven't seen her
since she divorced Marwan.

- She's beautiful, right?
- She's lovely.

- What did you do?
- Nothing.

This gesture means you did something.

- Unless you're sniffing drugs.
- Drugs!

Why did you do it, dear?

- Did what?
- Why?

What made you use drugs?
Why would you do that to us?

- I'll explain.
- Wait.

- Yes?
- You know Lamia's brother.

He used drugs, and she sent him to rehab.
Let's send you there.

- Lamia!
- Are you a street vendor?

I'm an addict and a liar who needs rehab.

Should I take drugs,
it would be because of you.

I've invited Marwan.

Oh, my God! I wish you were taking drugs.

They haven't met since the divorce.

- God help us.
- How will God help us?

We create the problem,
and ask for God's help.

Marwan is here.

So what?

You take care of Angie,
and I'll handle Marwan.

I won't pay for any broken glasses.
They're expensive here.

- Marwan.
- Angie.

- How are you?
- How you've been?

- How's life? How's work?
- All is good?

- You're more radiant.
- Thank you. I do my best.

- How could you?
- What's wrong, Marwan?

Who'd believe you nearly
killed each other as a couple?

When we divorced, we realized

that we hated each other
as a married couple.

Check the confidence.

Forget the deep talk.
Did you do a hair implant?

- You did.
- No, I swear.

It grew back after the divorce.
Not only that.

My skin glowed again, and no hair loss.

I made lots of money, and I saved some.

I'd choose my sleeping hours.

I would party and come back home
at any given hour.

That's the big thing.

The problem wasn't Marwan or me.

It was the marriage.

Divorce was the answer.

Right.

Are you guys ready? Fardus?

I want you to talk freely.
Don't worry, we'll blur your face.

Why blur my face?

I'm fit for the big screen.
You just don't know that.

I was in the pub, "Eat if you dare."

The losing weight pub,
I was the "before, after" figure.

But later on, they trimmed me with CGI.

- Trimmed! Let's begin.
- Star…

- Fine.
- We still have the execution.

Come on. Let's finish this.

Action!

Fardus, how did you kill your husband?

I poisoned his food.

Once he wiggled and died,
I cut him to pieces.

- You cut him?
- Yes.

Perfect. Now tell our viewers
how you did it.

- You mean the technique.
- Yes.

From Google, sir.
Are you living under a rock?

But I lost my data before knowing
"How to get rid of the body."

Then the police came and arrested me.

She's happy. She doesn't know.

Don't you regret it, Fardus?

I do. Guilt is eating me up.

The feeling of guilt haunts me.

I deserve a good beating.

Knowing that LouTube consumes my package,
why didn't I recharge it?

- LouTube?
- Yes, it depletes my package.

Fardus, this might be the last time
you see other human beings.

- Yes.
- Any final words?

- Can I say a dedication?
- To whom?

Um Samah, my neighbor, the thief.

Here I am, dressed in red, Um Samah.
Do you see me?

Look at my face,
because you won't see it again.

You're on death row.

- Take her away.
- Um Samah. I'm on TV.

- Wait!
- Fardus!

- You! Come here!
- What?

- You got me a customer service operator?
- You're being harsh.

- I got you a lady who chopped her man.
- Anis El Biblawi, divorce attorney.

- What?
- 15% discount…

- Badawi!
- Mr. Khaled!

- Where's Mr. Anis?
- He's in court.

He won't be out soon.
Tell him I'll wait for him downstairs.

- Okay.
- Fine, Zoel.

- I didn't mean it.
- 15% discount. Mr. Anis El Biblawi.

The defense may proceed.

Yes, your Honor.
My client is a famous singer,

and popular.

He was a successful man,

before he married his ex, Mrs. Elham.

How can she claim half
of his fortune and estates?

This is utter slander, your Honor.

Are you done?

Let's begin.

Dear God.

What are you doing?

One moment, your Honor, if you allow me,

I'll play one of his songs.

It's working now. Let's play it.

If you're dear to me

Take care of yourself…

Tala'at? What are you doing?
Turn it off, Anis.

Get to the point, Anis.

Now that we listened,
my question is to the singer…

How will my client take care of herself,

if you leave her without a dime?

It was a movie song
meant for Yasmine Abdul Aziz.

If I knew they'd use my songs in court,
I wouldn't have sung them.

I'll show you how they're valid here.

Please, allow me, your Honor.

This is Ultra, a Lebanese magazine.
Check his interview.

"All my songs are inspired
by my romantic relationships,

and my wife is my only muse."

Let's stress on "Only". Why is that?

It means my client was
the only direct cause,

for all the singer's songs, and yet,
he won't give her half his fortune.

Let's take another example.

His song, "Alexandrian Girl".

Is it a coincidence that my client
was born in Alexandria?

I sang a lot about Alexandria,
except for its meat.

I refuse to give her half of my fortune.
I won't do it.

You will, with a court order.

Let's listen.

Oh, yes

Tonight is the night
Let's accept our fate

That's proof?

Don't get mad at me. Let's be friends.

Forget it.

Honestly, it's your fault.
You should've come to me.

- There's no use now.
- What's no use.

We're still on it. Listen, tonight,

- you give her the Amattiah villa.
- What?

You tell her, "This is your home,
and it's your right.

I hope you love me as I do."
You know better.

Yes, it's my game.

She'd fall for it, and you get her back.
By that, you undo today's ruling.

You divorce her two weeks later,
and she'll walk away with nothing.

What's the difference this time?

I'll be your lawyer, big shot.
Don't you get it?

Badawi, give him my card.

- Are you the devil?
- I'm a divorce attorney.

- Remember, "Divorce is freedom."
- Star!

- How are you, Star?
- Khaled! How are you?

- How are you, cousin?
- Hi, Khaloud!

- Cousin? Is he a relative?
- Yes.

He just robbed me of my fortune.

Listen, Khaled.

Are there any weddings,
or birthdays at the syndicate?

- I'm your friend, Khaled.
- Of course.

I'll let you know.
We hate to see you like that.

Thank you, Khaled. See you!

God will avenge me.

- I'll wait for you. "Divorce is…
- Freedom."

You got that right.

What have you done to him?

Nothing. It was for his own good.

Why are you here?

Looking for a case for my new episode.

Oh, God! You ran out of topics?

We have a lot.

I just need something new.
People bore easily, Anis.

I want a hot and juicy case.

Come, I'll treat you
to a hot and juicy meal.

- Enjoy your meal, Mr. Anis.
- Thank you, Abu Ziad.

Abu Ziad is the best
trotter maker in Egypt.

- God bless you, Mr. Anis.
- You too.

Leave the bones. I keep them for last.

Sure thing. You're really a gentleman.

God bless you.

- I need your opinion.
- Tell me.

I had a huge fight with Um Ziad,
and to be honest…

Get a divorce. Where's she?

Hanging laundry on the balcony.

Enough, kids. If you don't stop,
I'll eat you alive!

Forget about divorcing her.

- I think she's fierce.
- Don't think.

Do it before she divorces you.

- Excuse me for a minute.
- You can do it.

I know your work is terrible,
but how's Soraya doing?

Don't tell me! Are you getting a divorce?

Did I say that?

You didn't,
but I know these silent moments.

I get that a lot in my office,

from my divorce clients.
Do you want a divorce?

Yes, I want a divorce.

You're approaching me as what?

Your brother-in-law, your lawyer
or just your friend?

- Does it matter?
- Of course!

It does matter. As your friend,
I'd offer you advice.

As your brother-in-law, I'll beat you up.

But as your attorney, I'd ask
how much do you pay?

Listen, my fees are 200,000 pounds.

The marital list you gave me,

for no known reason, disappears today.

By the way, the fees are for Soraya.
She's my sister, Khaled.

I know she is, but do you know that?

Listen, this is business.
It's not a family matter.

- Have you told her?
- No.

I want you to tell her.

Why don't you tell me
the reasons for that divorce?

I don't know what to say.

You know?

We live in the same house.

We sleep in the same room,
next to one another.

But each is living in a separate world.

Not together, Anis.

We used to share something beautiful…

Come on. We're talking about your sister.

I'm trying to suck the marrow
out of this bone.

Why don't you digest the trotters first?

Forget this and talk to me.

You brought that to yourself.

You refused to have a baby.

You know that we decided
to delay the baby thing.

Then years passed.

- Just forget it.
- Fine, I'll talk to her.

I'll test the waters.
I'm seeing her tomorrow anyways.

Sarah's receiving a suitor tomorrow.

- Sarah?
- Yes.

- She's a woman now.
- Time does fly.

You can't just throw my clothes
in the street!

- Hold your cup and push your chair back.
- What?

Quickly.

- The bill, Abu Ziad.
- What bill?

The guy is dead. Pay his children.

I got silicone from Brazil
that works with an app.

You can adjust the size to your liking.
You'll drive people nuts.

You can't laugh for three weeks.

I can't fix your ruined face.

Go now.

Hello. Why don't you let me fix you?

Fix what?

You really think you're a doctor?

You're like a mechanic,
using silicone and Botox.

- What?
- Botox.

My Botox has fixed relationships
more than your degrees.

Camilia!

What happened?
Were you jogging in the wind?

Did you ruin your face? Get in.

Why do you keep coming?
I can't fix everything. Get in.

Karima. Close your eyes,
and take a deep breath,

and think… What? Stop it!

Think of the real reason
why you can't stand Ali.

I gave up work after marriage,

to take care of the kids.

But Ali moved on,
and excelled in his work.

I saw my failure in his success.

I felt I was living in his shadow.

- I'm sure you can relate to that.
- Why?

Because your husband,
Mr. Khaled, is very successful,

- and you're just…
- Just what? I want to know.

I have no issue with Khaled's success,
and I don't live in his shadow.

No woman lives in the shadow of a man.

- Welcome, Raouf.
- Thank you, uncle.

- Welcome, ma'am.
- Thank you, Mr. Anis.

- God bless your kid.
- Thank you.

- Kids are precious.
- Yes.

Excuse me.

I have to take it.

Hello!

Mr. Ali El Sirsawi? How are you?

Your wife insulted you,
and you want a divorce?

You can easily kick her out of the house.

She wants the kids? Let her have them.

Forget the moral talk shows.

Don't let people tell you
what to do with your life.

You do that, and call me. Bye.

- What were we saying?
- Kids are precious.

- Exactly, son.
- Yes.

I want to remember one thing, Raouf.

Stay away from home wreckers.

These people… Excuse me.

- Don't take it, Dad.
- I have to. Just a second.

Hello! Mrs. Samah.

Ali's wife! Welcome. How are you?

Hi hit you and kicked you out!

Who pushed him to do so?
Listen, is there a wall next to you.

Just hit your head on the wall.

If anyone of your kids can take it,
let him do it.

Then go to a hospital,
and get me a medical report,

to be valid for 21 days.

Come to my office
first thing in the morning. Bye.

- What were we saying?
- The filthy home wreckers.

It was a pleasure having you.

- Thank you, uncle.
- You're welcome.

- It was a pleasure.
- Me too.

- I'm so sorry.
- My sister.

Raouf and his mother.

Sorry, I'm late.
I'm sure we'll meet again soon.

- Of course. Let's go, Raouf.
- Okay.

I need a minute, Raouf.

- Let's go, Raouf.
- Here are the car keys.

If I'm not back in five minutes, just run.

Bye.

Come here, Raouf.

One more thing.
What about the marital list?

We didn't agree on a list.

Why are you scared, Raouf?
We're family now.

And to prove my point,
let's forget the list.

We'll accept blank checks or bonds.
You decide.

Consult your mom. She's signing as well.

- Have a good night, Raouf.
- Congratulations.

It's God's will.

- How are you, Soraya?
- What's with him?

He's getting married.

How are things with Khaled?

You went silent as well?

- Anis!
- Yes?

I'm not happy with Khaled.
I can't live with him anymore.

- Oh, God!
- I know this is shocking news to you.

You thought we were a happy couple.

Of course, I'm shocked.

- Get a divorce.
- No, I can't.

I'm writing, "Divorce is not the answer."
Have you read the book?

You didn't.

Forget the book.
A couple therapist can't be divorced.

I didn't know that.
Just calm down. Be rational.

Listen, Raouf and his mom

- brought some sweets.
- Really?

- Come.
- Okay.

Give me a minute here.
Open the sweets, and I'll…

- Okay.
- I'll take this call.

- Did you tell her?
- I barely said a word,

and she broke down in tears. She said,

"I can't live without him."
She's crying her heart out.

My wife is crying?

- Can't you hear her?
- No.

She cried a lot, so she went to eat…
She lost her voice.

Lost her voice?
Are you sure you're talking about my wife?

Yes. What's that noise?

It's an episode about a guy
married to 23 wives.

All 23 wives found out,
and hell broke loose.

I can't hear you, Anis.
I'll call you when I'm done here.

- What's this, Zoel?
- No idea.

How will we get in?

Have I ever failed you, sir?
I'll handle it.

Let's go.

Press. Let us through.

- Move aside.
- Let us pass.

Move aside, lady.

Thank you, angel.

Can't wait to remove your veil
on our wedding night.

I love health insurance.

Haven't you learned the lesson?
You want to marry again?

It has to be a legal marriage.

I love women.

They're like a hobby.

A hobby? Why don't you collect
stamps or coins?

But collecting wives?
Are you forming a football team?

- Where's my sick husband.
- No.

I'll splash your blood on the walls.

- No!
- I'll show you, Bahnasi.

Don't let her go! She'll kill us all!

- Who's she?
- Souad, my first love.

She loves you very much.

I can't hold the door any longer.
They'll kill him if I let them in.

If you're addicted to marriage,
why don't you divorce first?

Nobody is perfect, sir.

I divorce them in my head,
but forget to tell them.

This reminds me of Safia,
my sixth wife. She did this.

I thought it was a pimple. Never mind.

How did you keep 23 wives
in these difficult times?

Very difficult!

You remind me of Ghaliah, my 11th wife.

It seems you're high on anesthesia.

Aliah! Wow!

Aliah is my 12th wife.

I'm the one who deserves a beating
for talking to you.

Tania! Wow!

Tania is my 13th wife.

- Let's go, Zoel.
- Wow!

- You remind me of Zoel.
- What's with him?

He's the brother of my 14th wife.

- You know what my problem is?
- What?

I'm a man.

- A low-life.
- No.

A man's heart is different.

A woman's heart is like an areal,
it receives one or two channels.

But a man's heart is like a receiver.
It captures all channels.

It's even merrier if it's a European one.

- Get well soon, my Bahnasi.
- Mona!

She's the reasonable one.

- Of course.
- I told you!

- I…
- I want some sweets.

- You married other women?
- You got me wrong.

- I was buying vegetables.
- I'll make them all widows.

This is a misunderstanding.
Let me explain.

- Go ahead.
- Get in, all of you.

Wait, let me explain! My arm!

As you can see, my dear fans,

The wives' families are here
to avenge their daughters.

With us is Mr. Mamdouh Khaled,
a civil status officer.

Welcome to the show.

- Thank you.
- What can you tell us?

It's not the first time
we face such a case.

I hope it's the last time.

- Sure.
- As officials,

we must find a solution to it.

We shouldn't let men take advantage
of our daughters.

- What do you think?
- I think Bahnasi is a goner.

People like Bahnasi are the actual cause.

He proposes to a girl,

and they get married in a remote area,

which delays the registration
in civil affairs.

- Here lies the problem.
- Yes.

Paper procedures must be stopped,

by developing a digitized
civil status database.

Let's go digital.

We're already there.

This will stop the likes of Bahnasi.

It will be a matter of buttons.

You get a complete history with one click.

After all this nonsense,
what's required of the citizens?

To develop the database,

each married couple must submit
their marriage certificates to the state,

to include them in the database.

Otherwise, they're not officially married.

ONE WEEK LATER

Please, come in, Mr. Khaled.
Good morning, guys.

This is where the shredding takes place
to get rid of any traces.

Did you collect all
the marriage certificates in Egypt?

In a record time.

We destroyed them all except one.
It has to be aired live.

Yours, Mr. Khaled.

And this is the last
marriage certificate in Egypt.

We'll shred it before your eyes.
My certificate.

Come in, Mr. Khaled.

Here is the data entry room.

All data will be integrated
into our servers.

Once we launch the system,
it will be available to all.

And all this is one click away.

- This is great. Keep shooting.
- I am.

- And then, we can…
- Excuse me,

I have to go to the toilet.

- Leave Zoel here.
- And the mic.

- Thank you.
- Stay with him.

Do we continue or wait for Mr. Khaled?

Yes, Soraya? You called three times.
I'm working.

What if I need something urgent?
What if I died?

You wouldn't be calling me then.

- What do you want?
- When are you coming to the clinic?

What office?

- Did you forget?
- No, I didn't.

You did forget
because you're scratching your nose.

- How do you know?
- You scratched it.

I'm working now.

Let's spare the guys the scratching story.
They'll think I take drugs.

- I'll see you at the clinic.
- Okay. Bye.

Please remind me why I'm going there.

Today is my book signing ceremony.

Okay. I'll be there.

Is "Hope Whisper" coming?
I'm sure it's a man. Bye.

- Come, Mr. Khaled.
- I'm sorry.

You need to witness this big event.

With one click,
you'll see the complete history.

Is the system ready?

- Yes, sir.
- Let's do it.

What's this? What does it mean?

- The system is down.
- Down?

- Down?
- Would I lie to you?

Someone must've used his mobile
in the server room.

NO MOBILE BY THE SERVER

- You're brilliant.
- Are we joking now?

You're here to film only.

With the grace of God,
we anticipated similar issues.

- Yes.
- We created a backup.

To restore everything.

We do have a backup, right?

Come on, Mohamad.

Turn on the backup, Mohamad.

Give me good news.

Somebody, say something.

What does that mean?

All is good.

Hello!

CLIENT NO 862

I'm here to see Mr. Anis El Biblawi.

- Divorce or alimony?
- Divorce.

- Here's your number.
- Thank you.

Thank you for coming, Mr. Hussein.
I don't want you to worry.

- "Divorce is freedom."
- Thank you.

Wait! Badawi. Get me a large bag.

- You wear X Large, right?
- Yes.

X Large, Badawi.

Keep these with you.

- What are these for?
- These are slippers, a lufa,

underwear, and pajamas.

- In case your wife kicks you out.
- Okay.

- Keep me posted.
- Thank you.

- See you.
- Thank you.

- Next.
- Client No 861.

Suleiman! How are you? Come in.

Where are the cards?
I ordered 20,000. We ran out.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Dear viewers, welcome to a new episode
of "The Real Deal."

I have breaking news,
and it's an urgent one.

I'm not sure how you'll react to it.

It's an exclusive release.

Unfortunately, the database
of all married people is lost.

What do we mean by lost?

- Help me here, Mom.
- I want a sandwich.

Get me a cup of tea.

- I want a sandwich.
- In other words,

the system is down.

From this moment,
all married couples are divorced.

Exactly. You heard right.

- I want a sandwich.
- All married couples are divorced.

Meaning everybody is divorced.

I repeat, we're all divorced.

No more married couples in Egypt.

All the ladies are single again.

All the men are single again.

We'll keep you updated.

Come on, sit down.

You're cheating on your wife.
Why don't you enjoy the moment?

Did you really have to take pictures?
For future records?

You did the unthinkable?

You wanted to be trendy? You got caught.

But don't worry.

Since you're one of my old clients,
I'll give you a discount.

I'll only charge you… Where did he go?

Have you seen Suleiman?

- Where did the clients go?
- They left.

- They left?
- They're divorced.

Who divorced them?

The whole country is divorced.

- Why? I don't get it.
- Here he is.

I repeat, we're all divorced.

No more married couples in Egypt.

All women are single again,
and all men are single again.

- Did you print the cards?
- Yes, and I paid for them.

We'll keep you updated.

I'm ruined.

Are we paving the house?

- Soraya!
- I'm in the kitchen.

- What's this?
- Did you know?

- All the people are divorced.
- Really?

- I published the news.
- Yes.

- What's this?
- We're divorced now.

We shouldn't live together.
I took care of everything.

I'll take the room upstairs,
and you, the nursery.

You'll get the toilet downstairs.

But it's broken.

Well, I've asked you to fix it many times.
You wouldn't listen.

Fine, Soraya. Can I take my clothes?

Of course, dear. Almaz!

I told you to move his things
to the nursery room. Go on!

I took care of everything.
Now I'm doing the kitchen.

We'll split the fridge between us.

And I'll take the right burners,

- and you, the left ones.
- And the oven?

- Can you turn it on?
- No.

Why ask, then?

I'll take the washing machine,
but don't worry,

There's a laundry close by.
You can send your clothes there.

- Why are you upset?
- I don't know.

I've divided the house between us.
I'll take that half,

and you this half.
This is the center line.

That is the referee.

Help me with the boxes,
and get me the card boxes.

You want your brother to live with us?

What's wrong with you, and your hair?

- Zuzu?
- What's with her?

She kicked me out
and wants me to propose again.

How so?

I'll get sweets and meet her late father.

- It's okay, Anis.
- Please forgive me.

Bear with me for a couple of days,
till I get the sweets.

Don't say that! This is your home.

Come here. Listen to me carefully.

Heads, he stays with you,
and tails, with me.

Khaled!

- Khaled!
- Who?

I'm Anis.

- What do you want?
- I want yogurt.

- What?
- Get me yogurt.

Why should I get it
when you're sleeping below?

Go to sleep.
The yogurt is in your sister's half.

Does your half have jelly?

We're out of business.
Nobody is getting married or remarried.

What do I work for now?

Hello. This is Said Asfar from Darb Ahmar,

and it's a beautiful day.

What do you think of what happened?

I took back my piece of mind.

I was married for three years,
and my wife respects me six hours a day.

- Why six hours?
- Her sleeping hours.

True, it has wrecked many homes,
but it was good business for us.

This is the furniture
of one of the divorced,

we're moving it to her parents' house.

We're taking three moves a day.

Watch the ceramics!

What are you doing?

The adults have gone crazy.

- They're throwing their wedding rings.
- And we're collecting them.

All these?

"Nesma 2018"

- You did it, Tamer?
- We're live, Nesma.

To hell with this!

This was a sample of the people's opinion.

Is there hope?

I'm sure there is.

My wife and I, for example,
like any married couple,

we're divorced on paper.

But we're still married in our hearts.

Nothing will break us apart.

This is Khaled Mokhtar. See you in
another episode of "The Real Deal."

Cut!

You were great!

You were amazing, sir!

- You'll make Amro Diab feel small.
- Cut the jokes!

You look nervous.

This episode will get a high rating.
Trust me.

You trust me.
You'll be the downfall of the show.

- Hello!
- How are you, Mr. Khaled?

- I'm Hamdi, your neighbor.
- Hello!

How are you? I'm at work.
How can I help you?

Mr. Anis, your wife's brother,
jumped to our garden.

Again? I tied him up
before leaving the house.

- He untied himself.
- Send someone to take him.

He's sitting with Baki and Mizo
convincing them to divorce.

How so? All the married are divorced.

Baki and Mizo are my dogs.

The way I see things,
there's no reconciliation.

Divorce is your only choice.

Mr. Hamdi, sorry for bothering you.

Lock him in the bathroom till I get there.

Could you also take him for a walk
after his meal?

What's going on here?

Let me through, please.

Please, ladies. Let me through

What's going on, Dr. Shuhdi?

It's my livelihood.
Are you here for suction or Botox?

- I'm here to see Soroya.
- She's upstairs.

Organize your line. Suction to the left
and Botox to the right.

- What do you mean?
- Suction clients go left.

- Okay.
- You got me wrong.

- Your clients are nervous.
- Let's keep them calm.

We ran out of silicone. Come back
on Saturday on an empty stomach.

Get inside and stop wasting time.
You too, go in.

Oh, dear!

Soraya!

I thought something had happened to you.

What is it, Khaled?

I thought of taking a rest
after seeing too many clients.

Too many clients?
We're the only ones here with the boxes.

- Yes! What are the boxes for?
- That's…

My publisher sent me my books.

- Did you sell copies?
- Yes.

How many copies?

One million? One thousand?

Oh, God! You sold one copy?

I'm sure "Hope Whisper" bought it.

You annoy me at home and here too?
What do you want?

Nothing. It's your brother, Anis.
He's causing trouble.

He jumped to the neighbor again.
Why did you leave him alone?

You want me to leave my clinic
to babysit my brother, right?

What clinic? We're the only ones here.

Wash your face
and let's handle your brother's mess.

Let's go.

- Okay.
- What's this?

Am I in an asylum?

Anis is driving me crazy.

I have an idea. Let's play with him
before going to work.

Not bad. Why don't we
get him a babysitter?

I'm being serious, Khaled.

Let's send him back to his wife.

She wants him to propose again
with a tray of sweets.

What's that?

What's this?

Stop the music!

- Mr. Khaled!
- Hello, Bahnasi.

- How did you know I was getting married?
- How could you marry again?

- I found myself single again.
- Who's he, Khaled?

He's Bahnasi, the real cause
of today's problem.

- Who's the beautiful lady?
- She's my wife.

I had no idea. Get him a piece of cake.
Play the music.

- You don't have to!
- Damn you!

- Who are these people?
- They're here to propose to me.

- Really?
- Yes.

Where's your idiot husband?

The idiot is right here, in front of you.

- Anis!
- I never liked him or his sister,

the miserable one.

Really! And you are the nice ones?

Come on. This is not a proposal.

What do you say, Um Zuzu?

Let's take some time
and do a background check on the groom.

- Ask your daughter, my wife for 25 years.
- Anis, calm down.

Show some respect to your dad and sister.

Did you hear what she said?

- Idiot, background check, and so.
- Listen,

I'm not happy with you being here.
I'm not marrying my daughter.

I told you this was pointless.

- Stay!
- Leave me.

Where to?

I want to pack my stuff.

- Zuzu?
- Yes?

Go with him and one of the help.
He might take your jewelry.

- What if he does.
- Oh, God!

- Where's the problem?
- Oh, God!

- This is outrageous!
- Jewelry!

No! This is too much…

Move away, Khaled. My sister is fighting!

Jewelry!

Wait, Soraya!

She can stand up now.

- Let's take them to court!
- I'll take everything from them.

KHALED MOKHTAR,
MY WIFE AND I ARE THE HAPPIEST COUPLE

How's Anis?

He was crying all night.
It seemed he was hungry.

I fed him and put him in bed.
He's okay, Soraya.

Each will have him every other week.

Okay.

First you, now your brother.

- What are you doing?
- I want to watch the game.

The remote was in my zone.
You can watch it somewhere else.

No, I'll watch it here.
The TV is in the middle.

Where was the remote?

Does annoyance run in your family?

My half!

Fine, Soraya!

I'd like to know.
What made you do this to him?

Come on. Step it up.

- Leave him alone.
- Don't leave him.

- Leave him alone.
- Don't.

- Stop it! Leave him alone.
- He left him alone.

- I can't watch the game.
- And I can't watch the show.

Can't you see what he's doing?

Listen, setting the borders
is driving me crazy.

I'm going to my dad,

and to my reasonable mother,
who saved her marriage.

Your mother is insane.

I left the house.

She gave me diabetes, blood pressure,
and a stiff knee.

- How are you, Soraya?
- I'm fine.

Do you have the Tet Channel?

I'll check on Anis.
What if he doesn't find me?

No, stay with your dad,

and watch the Tet Channel.

- What are you doing, Anis?
- As you can see,

I'm burning the profits.

I'm burning the cards.

I, Anis El Biblawi,
master of the Egyptian courts.

I, Anis El Biblawi,
who divorced the couples in Egypt.

- I'm a witness to that.
- Even you…

you wanted a divorce.

You wanted to leave him as well.

- Anis, can you…
- I'm not done talking.

What? Did you inhale gas?

Yes, I guess I inhaled gas.

Listen to me…

Why don't you play with Anis
in the garden, Dad?

Why would I do that?

I can play
with the neighbor's kids as well.

I don't believe you!

You go first.

- I have nothing to say.
- Better.

You wanted to leave me?

Really! You wanted to leave me too.

I know why I'm leaving you.
But you! Why are you leaving me?

It's no use talking anymore.

We're divorced now. There's no point.

We both have a reason to leave the other.

Well, If you have one reason,
I have a million.

You see? That's why I wanted a divorce.

We're divorced now. Go and trick another
into staying with you for five years,

promising her to enjoy fame with you.

Then she spends her time
between home and the clinic.

All she gets are food order calls.

All that so I can raise the kids.
Where are the kids?

Do you want the truth?
You're a greedy egocentric.

You weren't allowed to talk as a kid?
I can't stop you now!

We'll resume talking when we calm down.

I told you many times,
Don't walk away from me.

Oh, God! You nearly hit my head!

I wanted to hit it.

Fine. Let's see
who'll break the other first.

Muhyi!

Did you tell Mr. Khaled we're coming?

No, sir. Things went very fast.

How can they go fast?

It's inappropriate
to come over unannounced.

They're respectable people.

- Aren't they?
- Of course.

What's that?

Did you hear what I just heard?

I did, sir.

Never mind. Let's go.

We're sorry to drop by unannounced.

But first, I have a question.

Is this a bad time?

- Not at all.
- You're most welcome, sir.

We're tidying the house.

Is this part included? To watch my head.

Don't worry, sir.

I'll get to the point.

In order to bring couples
back to each other,

we've created committees
all over the country.

To help couples get back together.

What's that got to do with us?

Sorry, I didn't get you.

He can't hear me.
What's that got to do with us?

Listen, people need a role model.

I came to you today,
because you're a couple

in love.

The husband is a famous
and credible presenter.

What's this?

I just remembered something funny.

The wife is an expert in marital affairs.

She understands and values
the sanctity of marriage.

Dream on.

I'm worried I might've missed something.

Why do you expect of us, Sir?

Tomorrow morning, we'll go together
to one of those committees.

We'll hold a press conference.
It will be live,

so couples get together again.

What will you do there?

- Get back together.
- To him?

- Yes.
- To her?

- Yes.
- To get back together?

Yes!

- Am I not clear, Muhyi?
- You are, sir.

I heard you well.

Isn't that your plan?

What I understood from your show,

is that you're a loving couple.

He says that on his show?

Didn't he say that, Muhyi?

He did. He also said that nothing
would break them apart.

Finally, you took the bait.

I'll explain everything after they leave.

Which bait?

I can find another couple,
if you're not interested.

They can be role models. But in that case,

you'd be lying to your fans.

And you'd be lying to your readers
with your book.

I've made my decision.
You're going with us.

I never go back on my decisions,
at least when they're work-related.

I have one question, though.

Look at us. Are we really up to it?

Make-up does wonders.

I have the expertise.

Didn't you write a book,
"Divorce is not the answer"?

- Did you buy that one copy?
- No.

I'll pick you up at 9:00 a.m.
and head to the committee.

- Go where?
- The committee.

To do what?

To get back together.

Am I not clear, Muyhi?

Can you step up, Mr. Khaled.
I feel we're not moving.

- Are we moving, Muhyi?
- Yes, sir.

We're moving.

I want to enjoy
each and every moment here.

I can't believe I'm taking my wife back.
Can you?

No. I'm overjoyed.

I can't believe I'm taking my wife back.

He has to believe this, not us.
Do you believe it?

I'm not sure. Do I?

- You look like you do.
- I believe it, then.

I have a feeling the committee
will be packed. Let's go tomorrow.

No. We'll go now. Don't worry, it's empty.

I can't lie anymore.
I need my breakfast first.

- There's a guy on Suez street.
- He's great.

- Delicious beans.
- And the onion!

- I'll make a turn.
- Stop it, both of you!

I last had my breakfast a week ago.

- Have I, Muhyi?
- No, sir.

No breakfast.

Why did you stop, Mr. Khaled?

It's red, sir.

I can't lose my driving license.

- We'll get you a new one, right, Muhyi?
- Yes, sir.

- Why don't you get me mine as well?
- Yes, sir.

Forgive me, God.

I hit the guy.
We can't reach the committee.

I wanted to go so badly… He's walking.

What's wrong with you?

- He's walking.
- He is.

Fine!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I have no idea! I'm sure he's dead now.

- Hopefully.
- What?

Hopefully, he's safe.

Let's make sure he's fine.

Oh, God! Are you okay?

- Yes, I'm okay.
- Okay?

He looks pale.
Let's take him to a hospital.

There's no need. I'm fine.

Let the X-ray do the talking.
Let's take you to a doctor.

He says he's fine. Let's move.

- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

He needs to pay for the hood.

- And the windshield.
- Yes.

I'll call the cops on you
and press charges.

We can do that ourselves. Let's go.

- We'll make you pay.
- Let's calm down.

It's my car and my windshield,
and I hit you.

I'll stay with him
and you head to the committee.

Don't embarrass me.

- We won't.
- Of course.

Grab everything, and let's run.

- Will they come back?
- Let's not find out.

Let's go our separate ways,
and we'll meet up later.

- Excuse me!
- Yes?

The bathroom?

Follow the yellow line, and ask
once you reach the dining room.

Thank you.

- Who's she?
- No idea!

Oh, God!

You've turned a house into a harem, Dad?

I'm the sultan, and they're the harem.

What's this mess around the house?

Enough, Soraya!

If you really want to help,

get me a stronger drink,
so I can handle these women.

Dodi?

If my mother sees you like this…

Leave me alone!

Do you see that man over there?

I want you to approach him.

He needs love and affection.

Hanane didn't come.

What a shame. No! You're not getting it.

I need you to be caring,
and tell him sweet words.

Woo him into marrying you,
and I'll divorce you.

- You'll take all his money.
- Anis!

- Khaled!
- You're tricking my dad.

I'm just looking for a divorce case,
to make a living.

- So you marry off my dad.
- Come here.

Never talk to your mom like that again.

- Mom!
- Yes. So you know,

we're getting married tomorrow.

What they're doing is unacceptable.

Thanks to your loving brother.

He asked for 200,000 pounds
to finalize our divorce.

- Anis!
- Not true!

I asked for 250,000.

Enough with the nonsense. Wake up.

Keep my brother out of it.

- Stop talking.
- Don't touch me.

- Look where you got us.
- Khaled…

We're done talking, dear.

I told you not to walk away from me.

Again? Fine, Soraya!

Calm down, Muhyi. Relax.

Let's get a taste of what we just saw.

Before I start,

is there something wrong between you two?

- There's nothing, sir.
- Nothing. You're welcome, sir.

But why all these questions?

I came to tell you something.

Do you know how many couples
went to the committee today?

We were busy tidying the house. How many?

No one.

- No one went?
- Not even one couple?

- Not even one.
- No?

- No one?
- That's why we decided…

to open the committees tomorrow.
We've added one day.

- An extra day?
- Really?

- We added a day?
- Not you too, Muhyi.

We added one day since no one went.

- No one went, so…
- No one. Enough!

Calm down, sir. We tried, and we failed.

I can't find
a respectful family like yours.

- Help me, Seif.
- I have a stiff back.

Once I catch you, I won't let go.

- What's that?
- Nothing. There's no one.

There's no one, sir.
You keep asking strange questions.

Forgive me. I'm imagining things.

- No!
- There he is.

Oh, him!

Dad is chasing mom for the evening prayer.

At 4:00 in the afternoon?

It's between him and God.

We don't see why couples
should get back together.

I know.

Especially after the low act
you pulled this morning.

But we'll launch a social debate.

We'll argue why spouses
can't stand one other.

Why they refuse to get back together.

We'll invite an expert.

Now I get it. I'm the expert.

Not really, doctor.

We're not looking for a couples expert.

We need a divorce expert.

And who's better
than your brother, Mr. Ansi.

Where can we find him?

- No.
- I heard "Divorce".

Sorry. Good evening.

Anis El Biblawi.

A divorce attorney.

Why do they come from this side
in their underwear?

Can I try?

- Yes. This is Soraya's Warm Line.
- Hang up. It's not the time.

Sorry. I'll call you back in ten minutes.
I'm busy now.

- What's with you?
- We need to solve our problem.

- Are we doing it?
- Do you have a choice?

We have to think in ourselves.

If people got back together,
your book will sell a million copies.

And my show will gain more fame.

And we'd be helping people out.

Who cares about people.
What's important is you, me, and Anis.

We'll do what Abu Heif is asking,
and once things are back to normal,

we can get a divorce.

Yes. Of course. What do you say, Anis?

No way. I'm Anis El Biblawi,
who divorced half of Egypt.

Do you want me
to bring them back together?

What will people think of me?

My good name will…

What good name?
You've filled my pool with your peas.

When did you eat it?

Anis, my dear. Let's focus.

If people get back together,
they'll fight again.

- You know what that means?
- It means divorce.

Family court, Anis.

More cards!

What do you say?

Fine, let's do it. Vomiting means yes.

HIGHER COMMITTEE TO REUNITE DIVORCEES

By this, we officially declare
Mr. Khaled, and Dr. Soraya

the first couple to reunite
in that committee.

Ululate, Muhyi.

The first step is done.
We're left with the social debate.

What social debate? We agreed
that we get back to each other.

- Say something.
- That's right.

We need role models for the social debate.

I'm done listening to you.

I did my part here. You have Anis now.

- Is that so?
- What?

I hate to go back to the time
of recordings and videos.

The video, Muhyi.

What video, Mr. Abu Heif?

A video of Mr. Khaled,
using his mobile by the servers.

- Let me see it first.
- I want to see it too.

It was photoshopped!

Tell that to the press when it goes viral.

I was talking to my wife, Soraya.
So, it's her fault.

- Why do you always implicate me?
- Wasn't I talking to you?

- It's always me.
- Soraya,

- Shame on you.
- It's not the time. There are cameras.

You can stop now! All of you!

Hello! Is the committee
to reunite spouses only?

Oh, God! Bahansi!

Unbelievable! Mr. Khaled!
You're a good man.

Do you know him? Let's go.

What a happy coincidence?

You have to witness my marriage.

I wish I'd witness your murder.

What about you?

I am a divorce attorney.
I can't be a marriage witness.

I'll handle the marriage and film you too.

Film my marriage?
Are you National Geographic?

- Don't do it, Abu Heif. You'll regret it.
- He's the only groom available.

I meant to film the wedding only.

It's fine, then.
Hope you celebrate Heif's wedding.

No, my name is one word.
My son isn't Heif.

- One word?
- Yes.

Ululate, ladies.

Let's agree first.

Let's agree first.

How can she leave her husband,

A FEW DAYS LATER

and disappears.

She should've told us.

Spread the laundry well.
I don't want to iron again.

Just wash them well first.

They're dirtier than before washing.

I'm using detergents
and I'm not complaining, so shut up.

Or I'll leave this house,
and never come back.

What's wrong, guys?

Whining like little girls.

Take this Khaled. Wash them well.

- Be careful.
- They're for whom?

- They're mine.
- Alright, Dad!

- I need a bath.
- Alright.

Take your bath and give us
the clothes you're wearing.

Watch him.

Are you happy now?

- Come back home, Soraya.
- What?

- Do you miss her?
- She knows how to use the washing machine.

- Hear this.
- What?

I'm getting strange feelings.
I can cook delicious okra now.

What's wrong with you? Tell me.

Something strange happened
to me yesterday.

I was watching Layali El Hilmia,
the scene where Taoufic El Badri dies,

and I find myself in tears,

- crying like crazy.
- That's okay.

This never happened to me.

I stopped at the knock of the laundry guy.

It's okay, Anis. You're fine.

How did we get here?

How did we get here? Because of you.

Did you have to ruin the database?

We could've been enjoying life
at home now.

Really! I'm the bad guy now.

- Yes.
- Everyone will blame me now.

I shouldn't have opened up to you.

- It's always my fault. I know.
- Whatever!

Don't talk to me ever again,
and I'm mad at you.

Whatever.

Cover yourself, mother. We have guests.

Who?

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

Stop what you're doing.
We have found Dr. Soraya.

- Where is she?
- Before I tell you,

- I have a request.
- Ask.

My shirt is dirty.

Oh, God! Soraya was kidnapped?

Who's this Singabi who kidnapped her?

He's a fearsome criminal, Mr. Khaled.

His wife refuses to go back to him.

What does Soraya have to do with it?

I don't know.
Does Dr. Soraya know his wife?

- What's her name?
- It's a weird name.

"Revelation Charm", "Careful Promise",
something like that.

- "Hope Whisper"?
- Yes.

It's a she?

I don't know what it is.

What are you waiting for? Let's save her.

Are you expecting us to save her?

No, I'm waiting for my shirt.

Unfortunately, I can't send a force.
It has to be done from the inside.

You have to go.

How do we get to Singabi's house?
He's too dangerous.

Let me do the infiltration.
I have a solid plan.

What's the plan?

We'll stop any passerby,
and we'll ask him about his house.

I didn't think of that.

Remember, we're Jack and Henry,
two tourists.

What a beautiful name.

- We're here on safari.
- Safari on the Nile?

- Crocodile hunters.
- I didn't think of that.

You're not here to save your sister.

God help us.

Good morning.

Hello.

Excuse me. Hello to you too.

Seriously? We just talked about that.

How am I supposed to salute him?

Good morning to you.
How can we reach Singabi's house?

Go straight, and you'll find a power box,

and some stairs. You go down…

- Oh, God!
- Relax!

They shot him for just giving the address.

What if we get there?

We're in Upper Egypt.
It could be a vendetta…

- He showed us the stairs?
- Yes.

Let's go there.

God help us.

God help us.

Yes, mother. How are you
and my father doing?

- Excuse me...
- Send my regards to…

- Okay.
- Send them my regards. Bye.

- Tell me.
- Excuse me,

We asked a guy, may he rest in peace,
about Singabi's house?

He told us to climb down the stairs
and ask around.

Take a boat and pass the first waterfall.
At the next waterfall...

Do you believe me now?

Is it vendetta too?

No. It was obvious
he had had enough of this world.

He wanted to die.

Khaled, I'm scared. Let's go back.

- And climb up the stairs?
- No.

- To the waterfall.
- After you.

- I see someone.
- Sir!

- Show us the way to Singabi's house.
- Drink tea first.

- Sorry, but we can't get closer.
- Why?

I don't want to see bullets wheezing.

There is no shooting here. Don't worry.

May he rest in piece. He was funny.

Yes. He took a bullet.

Everybody is dead.
Who are we going to ask?

Damn you.

- Are you looking for Singabi?
- No.

- Come with me.
- Okay.

Hello, Mr. Singabi.
I'm Jack, and he's Henry.

Hello, Mr. Khaled.

What's the disguise for?

You're right. Good evening, Mr. Singabi.

- Sorry for dropping by uninvited.
- You're welcome any time.

- Thank you.
- Where are you going?

- To sit.
- Did I ask you to sit?

You're welcome to leave.

- Yes?
- All is good.

We want Soraya back.

Soraya has ruined my life.

She's behind all my problems.

Do you know her?

No, I'm doing her brother a favor.

So you know her?

I have nothing to do with her.
We're foster siblings. Do you know her?

No, we're not foster siblings.

She wracked my life.

She turned my wife against me.

- I will fix things.
- With Soraya?

No, not Soraya, but "Hope Whisper".

- She's very stubborn.
- There's always a way.

By sweet-talking, not starting a war.

That's true. You killed all her family.

If you want to make peace,
to whom would you talk?

Do you think I haven't tried?
I talked to her father for two days.

You're a wise man.
You convinced him, of course.

I didn't. I was talking to myself.
The father was gagged.

Gagged?

He didn't stop screaming from the pain
of torture, so we gagged him.

We put him under the sun
to heal his wounds.

- I thought he was a statue.
- And I a plow.

I thought he was dead.

- That's it. Get a divorce.
- What?

Do you love her that much?

Oh, "Hope Whisper",

is love itself.

I'll never forget
the first time I saw her.

She shone like the moon,
wearing black like a night bat.

How romantic.

Not only that.

The surrounding women were wailing,
and she was tough like a rock.

As if a spear struck my heart.

Why were the women wailing?

It was her brother's funeral.
I killed him.

Hello?

- Hello!
- I know them. Leave me alone!

Thank God you're here.

I was sure you'd come for me.

I tricked him into coming with me.

Don't meddle here.
I'm talking to my brother.

Forget it, Soraya.
Why did she do what she did?

No way. I can't reveal
the secrets of my patients.

Would you do it?

More than once.

Cut the activist act now. They'll kill us.

"Hope Whisper" isn't coming back,
because he eats with an open mouth.

- Seriously...
- Wait.

This civil war and all the killings,
are because he eats with his mouth open?

This is stupid, Soraya.
We'll ask him to close his mouth.

- Help yourselves.
- Thank you for your generosity.

- Is this hay, Anis?
- Does he eat hay?

Excuse us, Singabi.
We'll talk some sense into "Hope Whisper".

Please. Tell her that reconciliation
will take place.

The easy way, the hard way,
or the bloody way.

I'm still using a peaceful approach.

Thank you for coming.

But you're strangers,
and as the saying goes,

"A strange beast ruins the corral."

Yes… Eloquent words. Corral.

The corral is already ruined.

The beast wants to fix things
before the corral falls on us.

Aunt "Whisper"! They killed Fahim.

He was among us

Oh, Fahim, Azza's son!

The bastard took his life

Oh, Fahim, Azza's son!

The beloved of Souad and Minnah

Oh, Fahim, Azza's son!

Are they mourning or cheering for him.
How come he has so many fans.

Listen, Mrs. "Whisper",
we're not here to meddle in your affairs.

We want things to go back to normal.

Singabi won't eat with his mouth shut.

He eats hay. Do you understand?

So, the answer is in your hands.

- How so?
- I'll tell you how.

Don't make meals
that he'd eat with an open mouth.

- What do I cook then?
- Jelly.

He'd swallow without chewing.

Aunt "Whisper", they killed Salim.

- He was among us
- Oh, Salim, Azza's son

- The bastard killed him
- Oh, Salim, Azza's son

The beloved of Souad and Minnah

Oh, Salim, Azza's son

It's always the same song
for every man who dies.

If they're Azza's sons,
then who is Souad and Minnah?

Stop that, Soraya. Let's finish this.

- Listen to me, Mrs. "Whisper".
- Aunt "Whisper", they killed...

- Have some respect.
- That's better.

Write down the names of the dead
and announce them in one go.

Where were we?

I'm not interested.

As the saying goes,
"I got the biggest share of sorrow.

I was born oppressed."

Listen, putting aside the matter at hand,

you must study to become a real poet.

As I told you before,

eating with his mouth open
isn't the real problem.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath...

Are you hypnotizing her?
We're going to die.

- Will you let me do my job?
- Okay.

Think of the old Singabi.

Did he eat with an open mouth?

Oh, God! He was a machine.

You see? Sometimes we are the problem.

We project it onto our spouse,
so we don't look guilty.

You're so sweet, Soraya.

As the saying goes,
"After the fight, comes delight."

Right?

Dear?

Listen, Singabi. You should be
a role model to the whole region.

To the whole country.
I wrote two chapters about you two.

What do they say?

Everything. All your secrets and scandals.

Everything that "Hope Whisper" told me.

You're dead!

- You told her I pee in my pants?
- No.

Thank God.

Shame on you!
Now everybody knows all my secrets?

No one bought the book. Tell her, Anis.

- I, her brother, didn't read it.
- Only one copy was sold.

We don't know who bought it.

I did.

- You bought my book?
- I read all of it.

Shut up!

Why did you kill him?

I wanted to know his opinion.

Let's get going
before we face the same fate.

Okay, Singabi. We're going now. Bye.

Go where? No one leaves here.

Sinnari, take them inside.

It's okay. You don't have
to throw us a feast.

I know your generosity.

What are you on about?
He just killed a guy.

Let's run.

Sinnari, get them!

- Did you tell them I tortured your dad?
- I forgot.

I told them. I didn't forget.

Let's go!

- Come on, Anis.
- Come on.

- What's wrong?
- I can't.

- It's okay.
- I'll push you in.

And who's going to push you in?

- You go.
- No, Anis.

- Fly away!
- No, Anis!

No, Anis!

- Don't worry about me.
- Bye.

- No, Anis.
- Goodbye, Anis.

How do we bring the balloon down?

Don't worry about Anis.
He always finds a way out.

I know. I'm not worried.

Remember our last balloon ride?

On our honeymoon.

How did we get here?

Singabi chased us to kill us,
and we both took the balloon.

I'm not kidding. What happened to us?

I don't know. Why are you asking me?

You're the expert in marital affairs,
and you write books.

You're right. But you've changed too.

I feel we came back a different couple
from our honeymoon.

You know why?
We did take the trip as you said,

but we came back two different people.

Oh, my God!

Here's the groom

No one knows him

- Is that Bahnasi?
- Yes.

The best ululation ever

Stop the music.

How are you, Mr. Khaled? I've missed you.

You're following me to the sky?

We can't keep running into each other.
Let's exchange our phone numbers.

Congratulations, bride.
Which number are you?

What's with the look? He's joking.

Give us an ululation.

Do you know how to take this down?

It's very easy. Check this.

I don't have time to insult you.

May you burn in hell, Bahnasi.

- It's my last wish.
- We're going to die.

- I didn't give him my number.
- You need to squat.

Damn you!

CONFERENCE DAY

Are you guys ready?

The event will be aired.
Don't embarrass me.

- We're ready, Mr. Abu Heif.
- Really?

You're ready?

God help us.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Under the slogan "Harmony is a good deed

and keep your opinion to yourself."

We'll start our social debate
to reunite divorcees.

Today, we'll showcase,

the problems that created this problem,

and proposals for a solution,
if there's any.

What do I do with it?

Just for the show.

The debate is conducted
by the happiest couple in Egypt,

an example of a happy couple.

They never shout at each other.

If they do,
they'd be elevating the debate.

Please, welcome with me
the one and only love birds.

Mr. Khaled Mokhtar, the famous presenter,
and his wife, Dr. Soraya El Biblawi.

And I'm Anis El Biblawi,
a divorce attorney.

We were able to define the reasons,
and we'll discuss them today.

Excuse me. Muhyi!

Would you bring the reasons?

Why didn't he call me?

As you can see,
these are the women's reasons...

Why are you standing there, Muhyi?

You can go, Muhyi.

These are the reasons
why women can't tolerate their husbands.

Like, "my husband snores at night."

"He emits strange sounds at night."

"He pulls the quilt to his side."
and many more of these.

Let's talk about men's reasons.

They can sum up in one paper.

Four reasons. One is nagging,

second is boredom, third sulkiness

and fourth, "She won't let me
hang out with my friends."

We're not here to talk about problems.
We know them.

We need solutions.
Say something, Mr. Khaled.

- Get him.
- Good evening.

Do you know what marriage is?

It's a like a room,
and the only exit door is divorce.

This room can get messy.
If the couple don't tidy it,

They'll have to leave it.

Did you read the book?

Yes.

In your opinion,
how do we get rid of this mess?

Unfortunately, I don't have
the answer to that question.

But my wife has the answer.

Go on, Dr.

Our problem is that we don't talk.

We talk about kids, the house,
and expenses,

but not about what's bothering us.

Exactly.

And what's most important is listening.

Like that idiot who doesn't stop talking.

- And I'm trying to deliver a message.
- Calm down, Khaled.

Exactly as he said.

We have to listen
and appreciate one another.

That's why we're the happiest couple.

Excuse me. I want to say something.

Are you telling us
that you've solved all your problems?

And that we do the same?

- But you're liars.
- What? Show some respect.

- Calm down.
- Don't you hear her?

- Calm down.
- Yes, liars.

And your marriage is the messiest of all.

You say that based on what?

On my diet cheat day,
I decided to eat meat sandwiches.

And I mistakenly dialed
Dr. Soraya's hotline.

I heard what everyone here will hear now.

- Yes. This is Soraya's warm line.
- Hang up. It's not the time.

Sorry. I'll call you back in ten minutes.
I'm busy now.

- What's with you?
- We need to solve our problem.

Are we doing it?

We have to think in ourselves.

If people got back together,
your book will sell a million copies.

And my show will gain more fame.

And we'd be helping people out.

We only care about the people.

Who cares about people.
What's important is you, me, and Anisl

Stop deceiving people and lying to them.

Enough! What are you still doing here?
Get out!

We ruined it.

Why are you laughing?

It seems we've ruined everybody's life.

When you watch a movie
and you get to the last scene,

showing a happy groom and a bride,
and we see the end.

We would think the movie ended,
but it was just the beginning.

I took our marriage as one of my goals.

I graduate, find work and get married.

Did we ever think
about what to do after marriage?

When a wife leaves her job
to take care of her husband,

she's not being weak.

On the contrary.

She does it out of love.

All she wants is for him
to take care of her and love her.

When that doesn't happen,
she feels useless and void.

This time, you're right, Soraya.

It seems we're not the problem.

The problem is how we see marriage.

Marriage isn't two people becoming one.

We're not the same.

We have separate dreams and ambitions.

We need to bring out
the best in each other.

I'm happy we said everything.

Now that we said it,
what are we going to do?

There's only one way.

We try all over again.

Will it work?

We have nothing to lose.

- You?
- Personally,

I have the prettiest,
and craziest woman in Egypt.

I was sure you weren't getting a divorce.

- Why?
- You know,

Two kinds of people come to me
to get a divorce.

One is married for the sake of it,
and the other because they're in love.

I don't handle the cases of those
who love each other,

because they'd be wasting my time.
Like you guys.

I'm happy you're fine.
Here's my card, just in case.

You'll get a 15% discount.

Back to the divorce business?

Marriage means divorce,
and divorce means Anis.

Badawi, give them my cards.

Anis El Biblawi, divorce attorney.
The card gives you a 15% discount.

Anis El Biblawi, divorce attorney.
The card gives you a 15% discount.

9 MONTHS LATER

Do I look good? He's head of a militia.
He could kill us.

I'm your partner in the show.
You need to trust me.

Smuggling antiques was your idea.

Don't shout, and I told you
not to come because you're pregnant.

The baby shouldn't see
his mother like this.

As if you're dressed better.
What's this mole?

- It's the camera.
- Really?

- Okay.
- Look.

What are you doing?

Are you selling antiques or flirting?

We're here to sell. Here!

Where did you get it?

We were redecorating the bathroom,
and found it under the cabinet.

Don't worry. It's an original.

A Pharaonic ashtray?

A Pharaonic lighter?

No Pharaonic cigarette?

Pharaohs smoked heavily.

- Really!
- The source of Cleopatra cigarettes.

Remember the baby.

Have you heard of "Aris El Nil"?

It's "Arouss El Nil".
Remember your history.

It doesn't matter. You're going to die.

He has yet to fire. He didn't touch us.

- I'm in labor.
- What?

Let me help her, and I'll come back.
You know better.

- Let's go.
- Help me, Khaled!

Hold the baby till we reach the hospital.

I'm in labor, Khaled!

You're screaming even while running.
We'll name him Mokhtar.

We're not.

- Scene 78, 10…
- Take one.

You brought this to yourself.

- You said you'd fire her...
- Sorry.

Divorce her before she does.

I said it wrong. I know.

- Was it correct?
- Yes. Let's continue.

Stay for a couple of days.

You tell her, "It's your right.
I hope you feel my love."

I'm cold.

I can't.

When will you visit us, Dr. Soraya?

What a bad line!

What do I have to do with Tanzania?

Am I not clear, Muhyi?

- Calm down, Soraya.
- Oh, dear!

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

My book...

Day 45.

45, next month.

- What's this?
- What…

- Do you want to say something?
- No…

It's a talk between brothers.
Don't interfere

Brothers?

Soraya!

Fine, bro…

- Bro and Bra.
- Bro and brother.

I did the "before, after" losing weight…

You're good.

The "before, after"…

- That's how you say it.
- It's okay.

You're bringing your brother over?

Listen, Bahnasi!

- And, action!
- Wait, Mr. Ahmad.

We're sorry.

Scene 73, 88. Take four.

Wait.

Fine. I have to get up
and not look at you.

- Sit, and I'll get you up.
- Okay.

Move away! What's this nonsense!

You're awful people. I'll call the police.

- Awful.
- Awful.

Crazy woman.

- Do you have another one?
- No.

- Oh, my God… Is this correct?
- Yes…

I can't do this to you.

- Stay...
- Come on, one, two, three.

- What will you do to me?
- Come on, one, two, three.

One, two, three, let's go.

You're already done, right?

Subtitled by Nidal Monzer