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Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.MY-SUBS.org
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00:00:32,940 --> 00:00:40,700
Oh, sorry, I'm excited to be here.
It's been a while.
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00:00:40,701 --> 00:00:44,498
You know, for a long time, I wasn't
sure I'd ever be back. Disney bought
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00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:48,160
Fox, there was a whole boring
rights issue, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.
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00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,527
But then, it turned out they
wanted me. The one guy who
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00:00:51,539 --> 00:00:55,000
shouldn't even have his own
movie. Much less a franchise.
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00:00:57,900 --> 00:01:01,728
You are so stupid. Look, we know
the title of this thing, so I know what
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00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:05,900
you're wondering. How are we gonna do
this without dishonoring Logan's memory?
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00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:12,237
And I'll tell you how.
Or not. I'm gonna let you
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00:01:12,249 --> 00:01:16,120
in on a little secret.
Wolverine is not dead.
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00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:19,794
Sure, it made for a perfect
ending to a very sad story,
12
00:01:19,806 --> 00:01:22,760
but that's not how regenerative
healing factors work.
13
00:01:23,270 --> 00:01:26,223
You think I want to be out
here in beautiful downtown North
14
00:01:26,235 --> 00:01:29,300
Dakota, digging up the one and
only Wolverine? No, thank you.
15
00:01:30,045 --> 00:01:32,626
But the fate of my
entire world is at stake.
16
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You may not be living his
best life, but he sure as hell ain't.
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Dead.
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Bingo.
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Yahtzee.
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00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,350
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
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Dammit!
22
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Son of a bitch!
23
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:09,380
Motherfucker! My
goodness! That was weird.
24
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:14,800
I'm much calmer now.
25
00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:21,380
Look, I'm not a man of science,
but you seem incredibly passed away.
26
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:27,369
But it's good to see
you. I gotta be honest,
27
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,600
I've always wanted
to ride with you, Logan.
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00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,903
You and me getting into a
Deadpool, and Wolverine just
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fucking shit up. Can you imagine
the fun? The chaos? The residuals.
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00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:39,880
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00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,440
Did I, Mike?
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00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,840
She has nothing that'll bring me back to
life faster than a big bag of mammal cash.
33
00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:48,970
Me too, Hugh.
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No. No, no, no.
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00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:58,060
Ugh, he had to get all
noble and die for real.
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00:02:59,950 --> 00:03:01,630
God dammit! I can really
use your help right now.
37
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,860
I'm warning you! I'm not alone!
38
00:03:17,140 --> 00:03:21,700
Wade Winston Wilson. You are under
arrest by the time variance authority.
39
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,540
Too many crimes against you. Come out.
40
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:28,360
Death by day, player.
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00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,320
Last chance. Throw out your
weapons and come out peacefully.
42
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,040
I'm not gonna give you my weapons!
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00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,300
But I promise not to use them.
44
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:43,460
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl.
45
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:44,940
Here we go.
46
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,600
Maximum effort.
47
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,090
Okay, Peanut.
I guess we'll get that team up after.
48
00:05:53,100 --> 00:06:01,100
Now let's find out who's on the bus.
49
00:06:39,410 --> 00:06:40,890
So, leaving that room right now.
50
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,490
To be clear, I'm not proud of any of this.
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00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:50,590
The warden violence, the quiff
of necrophilia, it isn't who I am.
52
00:06:50,591 --> 00:06:53,430
It isn't who I want to be.
Who I want to be? Well,
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00:06:53,442 --> 00:06:56,350
to help you understand
that. I gotta take you back.
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00:06:56,710 --> 00:07:01,990
A little joy ride I took through space
and time. To the day it changed everything.
55
00:07:14,090 --> 00:07:17,815
I can't believe I'm finally
here. I've waited for
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00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:21,870
this moment for so long.
Thank you sir for seeing me.
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00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:28,670
I firmly believe that my services could
be of great use to your organization.
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00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:32,097
Now I know I was caught
masturbating in the lobby of Stark Tower.
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00:07:32,109 --> 00:07:34,490
I'm sure you did that. I'm sorry,
what was that? No, I'm sorry.
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00:07:34,710 --> 00:07:37,518
That's when you
get those toy pulp
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00:07:37,530 --> 00:07:40,350
hands, right? And then you
just look down and you just.
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00:07:40,351 --> 00:07:43,315
.. you brace yourself and
you ravage the midsection.
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00:07:43,327 --> 00:07:47,030
I get it. Okay, okay.
The picture's painted.
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00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:52,209
You get the gist. What
exactly brings you here
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00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:56,310
today? Well, um,
wow, okay. Uh, I care.
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00:07:57,590 --> 00:08:01,121
I know I'm turning everything
into a joke, but I care.
67
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:04,990
I want to use that feeling
for something important.
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00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:11,990
I want to matter to
show my girl that I matter.
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00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:16,294
And, um, you know, I
feel like I'm wasting the
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00:08:16,306 --> 00:08:18,630
good stuff here. Is
the man not going to be
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00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,549
joining us? The man?
Yeah. I should say this.
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00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:24,430
As far as you're concerned
right now, I'm the man.
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The man is me. I am the
man in this circumstance.
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00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:30,770
And if you say he doesn't
do this kind of thing anymore.
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00:08:30,975 --> 00:08:35,313
Cameos? Meetings.
Entry-level meetings.
76
00:08:35,325 --> 00:08:38,950
Entry-level. Are you
the chauffeur? I...
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00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,579
Common misconception.
I did begin my career as
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00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:44,230
Mr. Stark's drive-in. I quickly
pivoted to the chauffeur.
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00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:48,204
And why I am
vetting your resume.
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00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:52,390
You seem to have left
out whether or not you had
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00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:56,490
any experience as a member of a team. Could
you maybe add a little bit of perspective?
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00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:59,206
No, yes, of course.
I was special forces.
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00:08:59,218 --> 00:09:01,730
But I was mainly, I was
team leader, founder,
84
00:09:02,270 --> 00:09:04,251
really, of X-Force. Sadly,
they all perished in action.
85
00:09:04,263 --> 00:09:06,210
Oh, how exactly did that happen?
86
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,069
Well, the police say
gravity, but if just between
87
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,250
us, they didn't test
well in the focus group.
88
00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:14,706
Particularly cable. Oh, I
can see this isn't going well.
89
00:09:14,718 --> 00:09:17,290
Please stop
writing. Look, I'm just
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00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:21,730
I want to be an Avenger.
I want to be an Avenger.
91
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:26,583
Why do you want to be
an Avenger? To look around
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00:09:26,595 --> 00:09:28,630
you. I mean, they're
the best of the best.
93
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:35,530
And what they do matters. I need to be an
Avenger. A certain girl is kind of had a mistake.
94
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:39,890
And if I don't, you know, turn things
around and do something with my gifts,
95
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:43,310
I don't think it's going to really work
out for me. And I wouldn't blame her.
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00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:47,163
The Avengers are a
very unique group of
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00:09:47,175 --> 00:09:50,870
superheroes that stand
for something more than just
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00:09:50,871 --> 00:09:55,870
fighting and wearing costumes. I mean,
people look up to us. Kids look up to us.
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00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:59,230
I'm sorry. Us?
I wasn't aware that you were an Avenger.
100
00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,310
Avengers adjacent, technically. What's your
superpower? Is it parallel parking? I was so sorry.
101
00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:08,650
That was cruel. I lash out when
I'm nervous. It won't happen again.
102
00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:13,010
Let's cut to the chase, please. You just
said moments ago that you wanted to be an
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00:10:13,011 --> 00:10:16,291
Avenger because you
need it. Yes, sir, I do.
104
00:10:16,303 --> 00:10:19,370
But the Avengers don't do
the job because they need it.
105
00:10:19,371 --> 00:10:22,192
They do the job because
people need them.
106
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:24,650
Do you see the
distinction? Yes, sir.
107
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:30,100
Please, Mr. Hogan,
I don't want to
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00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:32,910
spend the rest of my life like
an annoying one-trick pony.
109
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,356
Oh my God. You're standing.
Yeah, now's the time that we stand.
110
00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:45,722
Damn it. Now, the
problem might be that you're
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00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:48,140
reaching a little too
high. Name for the middle
112
00:10:48,141 --> 00:10:49,931
and you'll never miss. Right?
I think you got a good one.
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00:10:49,943 --> 00:10:51,920
I believe what you're saying.
114
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,677
But not everybody's
the world-saving type.
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00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,380
I'm not. I'm happy.
Right? I found my place.
116
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:05,820
Find your place. All right, get back
out there. We'll keep an eye. Good luck.
117
00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:13,400
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's the car.
I want to hit Shake Shack. Or injection.
118
00:11:13,780 --> 00:11:18,800
No, no, no, no. No, please.
No, no, no, no. Okay.
119
00:11:21,710 --> 00:11:27,500
You know what they say. When one
door closes, your locker at work opens.
120
00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:40,420
Okay, let's go sell some certified
pre-owned vehicles. Come on there.
121
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:48,500
Technically, the carnival's not a minivan.
It's an MPV.
122
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,020
So how does the Kia compare
to the Honda Odyssey?
123
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:54,120
The Odyssey? That's a great question.
It doesn't fucking suck.
124
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:57,301
You know, you can't answer
the question without swearing.
125
00:11:57,420 --> 00:12:01,260
I'm sorry, Tammy. I don't have kids.
Not that I haven't dropped to that.
126
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,400
And I don't have a lot of actual sex.
127
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:11,160
You'll get it next time, pal. And look,
you can always go back to super-heroing.
128
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,025
I mean, I know I'd like to
see you back in the suit.
129
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:16,360
I'll keep it in my locker
so that I can wear it.
130
00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:19,420
Keep it in my locker in case
we need to saddle up again.
131
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:25,920
Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing in there?
I'm done. I'm done.
132
00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:29,060
And I'm fine with being done.
133
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:31,800
Look, is sales the best match?
Probably not.
134
00:12:32,050 --> 00:12:34,160
Is this the life that I always
imagined for myself? Fuck no.
135
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,840
This is the right fit for
me. Sugar bear, it is.
136
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,360
Okay, Mr. Wilson.
137
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,240
I'm just saying, once a month,
we can go on a little mission.
138
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:49,280
We're human beings. We crave purpose.
After all, we're deadpool.
139
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:53,480
Please stop saying that. We're not
deadpool. I'm not even deadpool anymore.
140
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:55,876
Well, if we're gonna help you.
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00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,285
This life crisis, go
big. A few years ago, a
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00:12:58,297 --> 00:13:00,640
friend of mine got his
nipples pierced with
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00:13:00,641 --> 00:13:04,460
a titanium chain that goes down
and attaches to his man, Johnson.
144
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,860
Are you feeling gruffalstiltskin
because it's your birthday?
145
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:23,170
Surprise!
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00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:26,950
All right, you guys are
lucky I'm not an armpit.
147
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:28,370
Get in here.
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00:13:28,610 --> 00:13:30,550
This was six years ago.
You don't need that.
149
00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:33,850
So then, he gets out of the
cab, and you would not believe it.
150
00:13:33,930 --> 00:13:35,970
I turn around. What
do I find? Airpods.
151
00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:36,430
152
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:37,150
Hey, there's one!
153
00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:38,570
Come on! Crazy stories.
154
00:13:38,571 --> 00:13:40,090
Every time. Come on.
155
00:13:43,015 --> 00:13:44,690
Make any sales today?
156
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:47,768
You know I didn't. Did
you sell any dreamcatchers
157
00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:49,850
on fancy or whatever
it is that you do?
158
00:13:50,110 --> 00:13:53,090
I rinse two and three days wait.
I can't keep carrying you.
159
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:55,876
Relax. I have the money.
I sold some old blood
160
00:13:55,888 --> 00:13:58,150
pressure medication
I found lying around.
161
00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:00,086
You're trying to kill me, motherfucker.
162
00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:02,391
I'm not the one dousing
everything in salt, motherfucker.
163
00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:07,770
I pray every day that fire finds
your body and finishes the job.
164
00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:09,910
God didn't have the nuts to do.
165
00:14:10,070 --> 00:14:10,490
That's hurtful.
166
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,390
If you could hear the look on
my face, you'd smell how sad I am.
167
00:14:13,790 --> 00:14:14,790
You watchin' me good?
168
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:16,550
Great British Bake Off.
169
00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:17,870
Oh, goddamn.
170
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,320
That shit stood between
me and suicide for 10 years.
171
00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:21,630
Those are my feelings.
172
00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:25,010
Abortion, religious freedom,
animal rights, privacy rights, vaccines,
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00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,330
free market capitalism,
global climate change.
174
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:29,830
No, no, no, no, most people that's fucked.
175
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:31,090
Are you cute? Hi, Wade.
176
00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:32,610
177
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,110
Nice fake o'clock shadow.
178
00:14:35,590 --> 00:14:38,350
It's a summer balayage from the French.
179
00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:41,610
It's meant to mimic the
natural highlights of the sun.
180
00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:42,750
It's a toupee.
181
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:43,750
It's a hair system.
182
00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:45,770
I love your hair system, Wade.
183
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:47,250
Thank you.
184
00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:48,770
Wanna do some cocaine?
185
00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:52,330
Hey, cocaine is the one thing
that Vicky said is off limits.
186
00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:54,210
What about the Libyan marching belt?
187
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:56,330
They know all the slang terms.
They have a list.
188
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:02,177
Even snowboarding? Even disco dust? White
girl interrupted? Even force bump? Focus show.
189
00:15:02,189 --> 00:15:06,330
I wouldn't even try powdered gonads. Do
you want to build a snowman? Yes! I can't.
190
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:20,274
Poll here. What happened? That's the plus
part. Thanks for coming. Yeah. How's work?
191
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:24,030
Oh, I got a promotion. No way. Yeah. It's
my numbing middle management, but I'm happy.
192
00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:38,931
That's great. How do I see him?
Yeah. Guy from work. German. He's kind.
193
00:15:38,943 --> 00:15:42,270
He likes to go hiking. Hasn't gotten
me shot yet. Well, it's the early days.
194
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:59,555
How about you? You seeing anyone?
No, no. I live in a one-bedroom apartment.
195
00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:03,250
Sure bet with blind Al. All right.
All right. Happy birthday to you.
196
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:30,238
Okay. Okay. Okay. Birthdays. Boy, every spin around the moon is a new adventure, indeed. Sun
dumbass. Okay, round earther. Where was I? Yeah, the baby shoot of life. Right. It's been a
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00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:37,750
challenging few years. I haven't seen you guys in a while. Been through a lot. Change of life.
And a pause. Bitch, are you improving? I'm sorry that you had to see that you feel. Fucking.
198
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:58,288
Yeah. But I'm happy. That's because of each and every one of you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is how proud I am, how grateful I am
199
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:03,720
to be standing in a room with every single person I love. I'm the
luckiest man alive. Make a wish, buddy. 10-4, good buddy. Going down.
200
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:31,088
We will see. Oh, yeah. Dancers. Depender must have ordered you. Are those supposed to be cop
costumes? Never mind. Take your clothes off, but leave the helmets. And this isn't pretty woman.
201
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:38,480
We're kissing. What song do you guys normally dance to? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Is that supposed to be scary? Hanging isn't new for me, friendo. But it is for Disney.
202
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:52,808
I've never been a natural bottom. So we're going to take things real slow. And I want some crazy
eye contact. You, you can't see your eyes through the mask, but I can feel and we're going to
203
00:17:52,820 --> 00:18:00,520
move on down the hallway so we can spare a cleanup on aisle asshole. How's everyone feel about
this plan? I don't like you. Yes, let's hold on to that attitude. And we're going to do it angry.
204
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:32,308
Mr. Wilson, you appear to have soiled yourself while unconscious. I was
unconscious. Who are you? I go by the name of paradox, Mr. Paradox. And you're
205
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:38,540
sitting here at the TVA, the Time Variance Authority. We're really a watchdog
organization, except we're more lighthearted than that sounds with sort of...
206
00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:59,188
throwback ironic twist. And we're in charge of defending what's known as the sacred timeline. Holy fuck,
that is a shit ton of exposition for a three-quel. Is this because I used Cable's time machine? Brought
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00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:07,300
a couple of people back to life, then I destroyed it. It was a long time ago. Yes, we're aware of your
abuse of your timeline. You are so abusive of it. No, it has nothing to do with that. Walk with me.
208
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:25,348
I brought you here, Mr. Wilson, to tell you that you're special. In fact,
you've been chosen for a higher purpose, a purpose unclear even to me.
209
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:31,060
But one that could save the entire sacred timeline from a possibly grisly
fate sometime in the future, which may very well need to be avenged.
210
00:20:02,470 --> 00:20:07,984
This sacred timeline, I assume I'm going to marvel at how cinematic it is.
Gratuitous scamions, indiscriminate use of variance, the whole package. You
211
00:20:07,996 --> 00:20:13,706
tell me. Wade, you can be a hero among the heroes. We've been surveilling you
for quite a while, subway station. The TVA on those stairs. But what is that?
212
00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:17,530
Is that me? Is that Thor? Is he crying?
213
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:21,650
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
That happens in the distant future.
214
00:20:21,690 --> 00:20:23,290
Why is there crying? What are you doing?
215
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,834
Stop that. Eyes on me. I brought you here to offer you an opportunity. The
opportunity you sought years ago, but for which you were not ready. We believe
216
00:20:34,846 --> 00:20:38,936
you're ready now. Ready for a chance to leave your timeline and join the
greatest universe of all. I'm about to give you the thing you've always wanted.
217
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,900
I smell what you're stepping in.
218
00:20:40,912 --> 00:20:42,950
The power in the Marvel
universe is about to change forever.
219
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:46,300
I am Messiah.
220
00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:53,611
I am... Marvel Jesus.
221
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:58,350
Excuse me. She's getting over here.
222
00:21:01,110 --> 00:21:02,110
Suck it, Fox.
223
00:21:02,570 --> 00:21:03,650
I want to go to Disneyland.
224
00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:09,730
Where do I sign?
225
00:21:09,731 --> 00:21:11,330
Oh, it's not even my boy.
226
00:21:11,355 --> 00:21:16,730
Good. Not to brag, but I do not read.
There is one thing I will need, though.
227
00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:24,710
Fuck off. Adorn me, Beardo.
228
00:21:45,740 --> 00:21:46,740
Fuck it! It's perfect.
229
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:52,340
FYI, your tailor is a
predator, but I love it.
230
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:58,860
So, no camel toe, no car smell, and
adamantium katomas? You shouldn't have.
231
00:21:59,460 --> 00:22:02,421
Go ahead. Take it in.
And yes, your underwear is
232
00:22:02,433 --> 00:22:05,840
getting tighter. That guy
knows what I'm talking about.
233
00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:10,420
His clothes say middle management,
but his eyes say fucky fucky.
234
00:22:10,740 --> 00:22:12,160
Yes, you look very nice.
235
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,480
Nice? Your buddy here is
ready to throw it all away from me.
236
00:22:15,730 --> 00:22:18,210
You calling your wife? Ain't chalked.
Is your wife working HR?
237
00:22:18,340 --> 00:22:20,280
I'm really glad you're taking this so well.
238
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:25,100
Oh, I'm taking it well. I have never
had a problem traveling for work.
239
00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:27,418
That said, we should
talk vacation days.
240
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:29,840
I'm more of a one-week-on,
one-week-off kind of guy.
241
00:22:29,940 --> 00:22:31,769
I think it's what
they do in Denmark.
242
00:22:31,781 --> 00:22:33,466
You know, you'll never see
a Danish flag on the moon.
243
00:22:33,490 --> 00:22:35,080
But, god damn it, they're happy.
244
00:22:35,340 --> 00:22:38,721
Now, let's power up your little Amazon
Fire phone there and send me back
245
00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:42,220
home so I can let my friends know
that they've been upgraded to Disciples.
246
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:46,966
Yeah, I hear that you quite
understand. You will not be returning
247
00:22:46,978 --> 00:22:50,680
to your home because there
will be no home to return to.
248
00:22:51,060 --> 00:22:52,800
Come again? This time in my ears?
249
00:22:57,980 --> 00:23:01,885
This is your
universe, Mr. Wilson.
250
00:23:01,897 --> 00:23:05,980
That is what happens when a
universe loses their anchor being.
251
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:10,440
See how it decays from the inside?
This is how a reality dies.
252
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,340
What's an anchor being?
253
00:23:11,565 --> 00:23:14,839
An anchor being is an entity of
such vital importance that when
254
00:23:14,851 --> 00:23:17,980
they die, their whole world
slowly withers out of existence.
255
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,975
You've just won the
lottery because I didn't die.
256
00:23:20,987 --> 00:23:23,260
It's just a little midlife
crisis, I'm better now.
257
00:23:29,470 --> 00:23:30,780
Oh, my god!
258
00:23:31,390 --> 00:23:32,390
Oh, lots of laughs.
259
00:23:32,420 --> 00:23:34,740
Can you imagine if you
were the anchor being? Yeah.
260
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:35,960
261
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,638
No, it isn't you, Mr. Wilson.
262
00:23:40,650 --> 00:23:44,260
Your anchor being died in
an act of self-sacrifice so epic.
263
00:23:45,070 --> 00:23:47,000
That it sent shivers down the timeline.
264
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,040
I am referring, of course, to...
265
00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:55,120
The Wolverine.
266
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,680
Don't be on my page.
267
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:26,320
Logan! The guy who forks for hands!
268
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:27,920
That Wolverine! Yeah, I got it.
269
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:33,560
You can turn your retro graphics
of death off now. Make it stop.
270
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:36,100
We're not doing it, Mr. Wilson.
We certainly can't stop it.
271
00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:39,580
How long have we got?
272
00:24:39,860 --> 00:24:41,740
In most cases, a couple thousand years.
273
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:42,780
Well, sweet.
274
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,980
Most cases aren't fast enough. Not for me.
275
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:46,800
What does that mean?
276
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:51,640
It means that I have been tasked with
overseeing the end of your universe.
277
00:24:51,860 --> 00:24:54,220
Regardless of what the Council
pushes upstairs would refer.
278
00:24:54,540 --> 00:24:59,060
I will not waste my life watching
it die slowly in natural causes.
279
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:02,640
We used to just prune these things.
Simple, elegant, efficient.
280
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,080
But I'm told the TVA doesn't
like to do that anymore.
281
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,740
Well, I do. And no matter
what my so-called superiors say,
282
00:25:07,741 --> 00:25:12,100
the multiverse does not need a babysitter.
We need a mercy killer.
283
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,220
And in this instance,
I am the mercy killer.
284
00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:23,410
What in the macguffin is that?
285
00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:28,370
That's a time gripper, Mr. Wilson.
An accelerant. Once completed,
286
00:25:28,870 --> 00:25:32,030
it will allow me to destroy the
space-time matrix of your universe.
287
00:25:32,390 --> 00:25:36,670
You see, I don't want to work for the TVA.
I want to be the TVA.
288
00:25:36,930 --> 00:25:39,270
And the first step involves
showing this organisation
289
00:25:39,271 --> 00:25:41,710
how much more efficient
it can become to it.
290
00:25:41,970 --> 00:25:45,490
I will be giving your universe
a swift and compassionate end.
291
00:25:45,990 --> 00:25:48,446
And don't worry, your friends won't
feel a thing. It'll be over just like this.
292
00:25:48,470 --> 00:25:49,470
Oh, what's that? Trust me.
293
00:25:53,070 --> 00:26:01,070
294
00:26:03,910 --> 00:26:06,210
You're gonna hold the
other in my fucking universe.
295
00:26:07,090 --> 00:26:10,070
In your parlance, yes.
Two in the heart, one in the head.
296
00:26:10,630 --> 00:26:12,190
Look, Mr. Wilson, you have two choices.
297
00:26:12,620 --> 00:26:15,270
You can either rejoin your loved
ones and collectively cease to exist
298
00:26:15,271 --> 00:26:21,330
in, I'd say, 72 hours, or
you join the sacred timeline
299
00:26:21,331 --> 00:26:25,250
and you end your days of
insignificance and mediocrity.
300
00:26:26,290 --> 00:26:31,850
Wade.
Wade, you can finally, finally matter.
301
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,600
That's all I've ever really won.
302
00:26:44,110 --> 00:26:46,440
I know. I know.
303
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,940
And, you know, I'm
nothing if not morally flexible.
304
00:26:53,540 --> 00:26:54,680
Yep, yep.
305
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:58,120
I'll do it.
306
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:00,920
Why's choice?
Sacred timelines are happy to have you.
307
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,020
I was talking about finding the
wolverine and breaking your fucking nose.
308
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:18,640
Find him.
309
00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:20,220
Find him!
310
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,600
And boy, did he ever...
311
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,080
Which brings us back to this.
312
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,200
The desecration of the sacred corpse.
313
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:50,360
Argh!
314
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:52,000
Take it slow, mangle!
315
00:27:55,780 --> 00:27:57,180
You sick fuck!
316
00:27:57,940 --> 00:28:01,800
Wilson was a hero and the only viewer
of the shit to ever come out of Canada.
317
00:28:09,860 --> 00:28:13,860
Get my country's name
out of your fucking mouth.
318
00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:17,600
And my sword. Look at that.
319
00:28:20,580 --> 00:28:22,400
Oh, I gotta find me another Logan.
320
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:24,320
And a live one.
321
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,640
Don't get up, guys.
I'll just get myself out.
322
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:35,280
Logan!
323
00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,210
I'm gonna need you to come with me.
324
00:28:42,050 --> 00:28:43,050
Who's that?
325
00:28:44,970 --> 00:28:46,670
You're this little hairy blue retin.
326
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:48,760
Did you stick to landing, little guy?
327
00:28:49,210 --> 00:28:52,130
Yes, you did, comic-accurate short-king.
328
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:54,490
Such a cute widow, wovee.
329
00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:56,490
Cue the fucking montage, baby.
330
00:28:57,150 --> 00:28:59,950
Boy, everything seems to be on fire.
331
00:29:00,330 --> 00:29:01,330
Do you have a dragon?
332
00:29:02,230 --> 00:29:04,750
You have Anchor Bean with all old stuff.
333
00:29:26,010 --> 00:29:27,590
I'm auditioning Anchor Bean.
334
00:29:27,591 --> 00:29:30,770
Oh, that's gonna be some coconut oil.
335
00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:36,660
Oh, damn, fuck.
336
00:29:39,250 --> 00:29:40,250
Oh, yes, yes.
337
00:29:40,650 --> 00:29:42,310
Classic John Burn Brown intent.
338
00:29:42,610 --> 00:29:44,530
Now, we found the Hulk
in this outfit, you know?
339
00:29:47,370 --> 00:29:50,150
I'm Marvel Jesus, you
dull creature, and I want...
340
00:29:54,400 --> 00:30:02,400
...in a different direction.
341
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,840
If you're behind, you
look a little bit like Henry.
342
00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:08,940
Oh, my fuck! The cavalry.
343
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,260
The legends are true.
344
00:30:12,261 --> 00:30:15,460
And may I say, sir, on
behalf of all humanity,
345
00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:17,240
this just feels right.
346
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,920
We will treat you so much better
than the shit-fucks down the street.
347
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:22,120
You were just leaving.
348
00:30:22,220 --> 00:30:24,560
No, sir.
Not all the fate of my universe is in here.
349
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,240
This one looks promising.
350
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:31,960
Down you go.
351
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:34,320
Again.
352
00:30:35,220 --> 00:30:37,140
I told you, you're not welcome here.
353
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:38,680
You're not welcome anywhere.
354
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,340
Now get the fuck out of my bar.
355
00:30:40,341 --> 00:30:42,440
Just give me one more
drink and then I'll leave.
356
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:44,300
That's not how it works.
357
00:30:44,860 --> 00:30:46,820
And it does now. Leave the bottle.
358
00:30:47,380 --> 00:30:48,380
I know you, Bubba.
359
00:30:48,460 --> 00:30:50,040
Nope. But I know you.
360
00:30:50,930 --> 00:30:51,980
Everybody knows me.
361
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:54,600
I'm the Wolverine.
362
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,600
Yes, you are, and I'm gonna
need you to come with me right now.
363
00:31:00,750 --> 00:31:02,060
Look, lady, I'm not interested.
364
00:31:02,350 --> 00:31:03,340
Really get into your cuffs, sir.
365
00:31:03,341 --> 00:31:04,780
Why would I go with you?
366
00:31:06,250 --> 00:31:09,100
Because, unfortunately, I need you.
367
00:31:09,420 --> 00:31:13,140
And even more unfortunately,
my entire world needs you.
368
00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:15,380
Are you two gonna fuck or fight?
369
00:31:19,690 --> 00:31:20,850
You gonna take that from him?
370
00:31:21,370 --> 00:31:22,370
Yep.
371
00:31:22,990 --> 00:31:24,636
I can tell you if I
sort of don't get too
372
00:31:24,648 --> 00:31:26,590
close, I'll only break
your heart by going here.
373
00:31:26,770 --> 00:31:29,130
But every other Wolverine
work really hurt me by now.
374
00:31:29,190 --> 00:31:31,871
And I'm sort of on the tic-tic,
so... Oopsy daisy, here we go.
375
00:31:32,350 --> 00:31:33,350
Hey, guys.
376
00:31:37,850 --> 00:31:40,850
Whiskey, think of the claws.
It's quite common in Wolverines over 40.
377
00:31:40,950 --> 00:31:41,490
You don't want this.
378
00:31:41,730 --> 00:31:42,030
You're right.
379
00:31:42,590 --> 00:31:44,790
And you don't want this.
Unless you want to take
380
00:31:44,802 --> 00:31:46,830
a deep breath through
your fucking forehead.
381
00:31:47,350 --> 00:31:48,450
I suggest you reconsider.
382
00:31:49,350 --> 00:31:50,350
Let's go, Peanut.
383
00:31:54,850 --> 00:31:56,590
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
384
00:31:57,390 --> 00:31:58,390
Watch this.
385
00:31:59,270 --> 00:32:00,270
Alright.
386
00:32:00,610 --> 00:32:01,610
That's blue.
387
00:32:02,390 --> 00:32:03,390
Easy.
388
00:32:06,650 --> 00:32:07,650
Good God.
389
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,170
Thirsty little honey
badger, aren't ya? It's okay.
390
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:12,360
Keep going.
391
00:32:13,110 --> 00:32:14,930
Audiences are accustomed to long run times.
392
00:32:20,010 --> 00:32:22,210
I guess you'll have to do...
393
00:32:22,770 --> 00:32:23,770
Okay.
394
00:32:24,950 --> 00:32:27,170
Ooh, look at those jammies.
395
00:32:27,930 --> 00:32:30,470
That only took 20 fucking years.
396
00:32:31,370 --> 00:32:33,250
One interview coming right up.
397
00:32:33,790 --> 00:32:35,130
On your left, baby girl.
398
00:32:35,131 --> 00:32:38,430
This Logan has the same.
He can do anything he even uses.
399
00:32:38,910 --> 00:32:40,050
Oh, Miss.
400
00:32:40,510 --> 00:32:42,317
He's actually wearing
a costume like he's not
401
00:32:42,329 --> 00:32:44,270
embarrassed to be in a
superhero movie for once.
402
00:32:44,470 --> 00:32:45,470
I don't understand.
403
00:32:45,570 --> 00:32:46,770
You said my universe is dying.
404
00:32:47,130 --> 00:32:49,410
Because this sack of
nuts got himself killed.
405
00:32:49,670 --> 00:32:50,950
Well, problem solved.
406
00:32:51,630 --> 00:32:52,050
My God.
407
00:32:52,410 --> 00:32:57,150
You actually think you can
replace an anchovy with this?
408
00:32:58,450 --> 00:33:01,030
I wouldn't have accepted any
other Wolverine meeting notes.
409
00:33:01,210 --> 00:33:05,110
But you have outdone yourself
and brought me the worst Wolverine.
410
00:33:05,490 --> 00:33:07,210
What do you mean
the worst one, Mr.
411
00:33:08,230 --> 00:33:11,290
Wilson? This Wolverine
let down his entire world.
412
00:33:12,150 --> 00:33:14,150
He's the stuff of legend,
but not in the good way.
413
00:33:14,570 --> 00:33:15,570
And what he did?
414
00:33:15,810 --> 00:33:19,050
Well, some things are
just beyond forgiveness.
415
00:33:21,990 --> 00:33:25,530
Okay. How do I make this right?
I can be all do anything.
416
00:33:26,230 --> 00:33:29,130
I gave you a chance at greatness.
417
00:33:29,131 --> 00:33:31,550
Because my superiors deemed you special.
418
00:33:31,910 --> 00:33:33,270
Clearly not special in a good way.
419
00:33:33,370 --> 00:33:36,330
Apparently you have some
important future purpose to serve.
420
00:33:36,510 --> 00:33:37,550
With Thor, he holds me.
421
00:33:37,790 --> 00:33:39,390
But I did my duty.
422
00:33:39,770 --> 00:33:41,590
I gave you the opportunity to be somebody.
423
00:33:41,870 --> 00:33:45,970
And instead of accepting my offering with
humility and gratitude, you broke my nose.
424
00:33:46,170 --> 00:33:47,170
It looks great.
425
00:33:47,370 --> 00:33:50,650
And you decimated dozens of my
men with the exhumed corpse of a hero.
426
00:33:50,990 --> 00:33:53,030
And sovereign not only
his remains, but his memory.
427
00:33:53,230 --> 00:33:54,310
What are you, the internet?
428
00:33:54,370 --> 00:33:56,270
Your world is dying.
429
00:33:56,750 --> 00:33:57,750
Thank you very much.
430
00:33:58,230 --> 00:33:59,310
Unless they're stopping it.
431
00:34:01,630 --> 00:34:04,110
Mr. Men, Mr. Menckett.
432
00:34:04,310 --> 00:34:07,190
Quick! Is the thought of vaporizing
my universe making you peckish?
433
00:34:07,510 --> 00:34:08,250
I'm reaching my feelings.
434
00:34:08,510 --> 00:34:12,152
I'm about to lose everything that I've
ever cared about because that hairy
435
00:34:12,164 --> 00:34:16,510
thunder-confront-down undercon finally dies
and he's standing right behind me, isn't he?
436
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,310
Welcome to the MCU, by the way.
You're joining at a bit of a low point.
437
00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:23,250
Nice for you. I want to talk to your boss.
438
00:34:23,251 --> 00:34:26,200
I want you to get him on
the phone, and you tell him,
439
00:34:26,212 --> 00:34:28,950
her, or them that Marvel
H. Christ isn't playing.
440
00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:35,340
Holy shit.
441
00:34:36,490 --> 00:34:39,800
I just heard a symphony of
buttholes clenching all at once.
442
00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:42,308
You're off grid. Your bosses
don't know what you sick
443
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,420
fucks are doing down
here. Well, I'll tell you what.
444
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,233
I have a black belt in
carrot, and I'm gonna go
445
00:34:47,245 --> 00:34:49,660
upstairs, and I'm gonna
tell them all about you.
446
00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:52,700
Oh, silence is nice.
447
00:34:53,180 --> 00:34:54,200
Where the fuck did he go?
448
00:34:54,340 --> 00:34:54,980
To the trash heap.
449
00:34:54,981 --> 00:34:56,480
You'll fit right in.
450
00:34:58,620 --> 00:34:59,880
That was close.
451
00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:25,040
Don't just stand there, you ape.
Give me a head-up.
452
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,480
No, I'm actually okay. Thank you.
453
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:32,400
Where the hell are
we? I don't know.
454
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:35,040
Looks kind of Mad Maxie.
455
00:35:35,180 --> 00:35:36,980
But that would be IP
infringement, right? Fucking jokes.
456
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:38,280
457
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:39,720
Fuck!
458
00:35:43,530 --> 00:35:45,348
Where are you even
listening back there? We
459
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,360
don't make it back to
that Mr. Paradox asshole.
460
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:49,020
Everyone I know is gonna die.
461
00:35:49,180 --> 00:35:50,180
Not my fucking crop.
462
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:55,200
Was that all you got? Is that what you said
when your world went to shit? Come again.
463
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:58,480
464
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:02,160
Yeah, I heard all about you.
You screwed up everything.
465
00:36:02,780 --> 00:36:05,400
You should be thanking me for
pulling you out of that bed you shit in.
466
00:36:05,401 --> 00:36:06,401
Where the fuck are you?
467
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:07,920
You are stubborn son of a bitch.
468
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:15,300
Are you ready to be
calm now? Rest in peace.
469
00:36:22,340 --> 00:36:23,340
470
00:36:32,950 --> 00:36:40,950
I don't want to fight you, Peanut.
471
00:36:42,330 --> 00:36:45,170
Doesn't matter what you did.
I just need your help.
472
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:48,350
I don't fucking care.
473
00:36:49,810 --> 00:36:52,590
No, no, no, no.
474
00:36:52,830 --> 00:36:59,270
Fuck. This is gonna hurt.
475
00:37:03,710 --> 00:37:04,710
Alright!
476
00:37:05,270 --> 00:37:06,270
Fuck it!
477
00:37:07,210 --> 00:37:08,990
Let's get the people what they came for!
478
00:37:10,010 --> 00:37:11,130
Let's fucking go.
479
00:37:12,950 --> 00:37:16,190
Get your spectral sock out nerds.
This gonna get good.
480
00:38:08,050 --> 00:38:09,050
Ew.
481
00:38:23,180 --> 00:38:25,240
Let's see you blow your fucking head back.
482
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,380
I can fix it. I can fix it.
483
00:38:27,580 --> 00:38:27,860
Fix what?
484
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,400
Whatever it is that you did.
Whatever beats you so bad.
485
00:38:32,335 --> 00:38:33,335
Those fucks.
486
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,000
In the TVA you heard them.
487
00:38:37,090 --> 00:38:38,496
They have the power to end my universe.
488
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,240
But they also have the
power to change yours.
489
00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:45,780
We get back there, and
we can fix your world.
490
00:38:46,460 --> 00:38:46,780
Together.
491
00:38:46,781 --> 00:38:52,780
Remember, I promise... they can fix it.
492
00:38:53,580 --> 00:38:56,660
Hey! We fight each other, we lose.
493
00:38:57,500 --> 00:39:03,410
Dear God, is superhero
equivalent to comfort food or Molly?
494
00:39:04,110 --> 00:39:07,610
White guys answer to all the
disappointments in another A-Lister.
495
00:39:08,250 --> 00:39:11,470
Fair warning, gorgeous. You're going to
encounter some of the delicate language.
496
00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:13,546
The smidge of ass play
mode we've been through.
497
00:39:13,570 --> 00:39:13,810
Imminent!
498
00:39:14,270 --> 00:39:15,710
Remusing cocaine on camera.
499
00:39:16,070 --> 00:39:16,570
They're coming.
500
00:39:17,010 --> 00:39:18,010
Who's they?
501
00:40:13,900 --> 00:40:16,781
Sandra's gonna be... Kitty,
when she sees what we caught.
502
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,940
Can't run. Everybody knows that.
503
00:40:20,420 --> 00:40:22,280
You see anyone running, dick for brains?
504
00:40:23,460 --> 00:40:25,400
You're not gonna love what happens next.
505
00:40:25,540 --> 00:40:26,540
Oh my God.
506
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,560
Dwight, oh my God, he's gonna say it.
507
00:40:30,020 --> 00:40:32,420
Oh my God, he's gonna say it!
508
00:40:32,540 --> 00:40:33,540
Say what?
509
00:40:33,740 --> 00:40:34,160
Avengers Avengers!
510
00:40:34,220 --> 00:40:34,700
Claymore!
511
00:40:34,980 --> 00:40:35,980
Sorry, what now?
512
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:05,360
We don't know that guy.
513
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:06,520
We thought we did.
514
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:07,960
I know you.
515
00:41:08,980 --> 00:41:09,980
Holy shit.
516
00:41:12,380 --> 00:41:13,380
Save her, twos.
517
00:41:13,940 --> 00:41:14,940
Your brother.
518
00:41:15,940 --> 00:41:16,940
Ready to die.
519
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,116
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
520
00:41:19,140 --> 00:41:20,140
Time!
521
00:41:20,860 --> 00:41:21,860
You look ridiculous.
522
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,960
People have waited decades for this fight.
523
00:41:24,961 --> 00:41:26,300
It's not gonna be easy.
524
00:41:26,460 --> 00:41:27,700
Maybe not even shoot the devil.
525
00:41:27,900 --> 00:41:28,900
Take him down.
526
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:29,700
Side control.
527
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,480
Then full mount and you ground and pound.
528
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,256
Until he makes no sound because he's dead.
529
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:34,980
Shut the fuck up.
530
00:41:35,300 --> 00:41:36,300
Oh my God.
531
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:37,080
Okay, good luck.
532
00:41:37,180 --> 00:41:38,180
I'm a huge fan.
533
00:41:50,510 --> 00:41:51,750
What is it, girl?
534
00:41:52,250 --> 00:41:53,410
Is there trouble at
the well? Big trouble.
535
00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:06,630
Behold the head of your
precious queen, Furiosa.
536
00:42:07,170 --> 00:42:08,930
I have the wolverine.
537
00:42:09,590 --> 00:42:12,030
I alone control her.
538
00:42:12,850 --> 00:42:13,950
You come for me.
539
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,110
You come for her.
540
00:42:19,070 --> 00:42:20,070
I'm so sorry.
541
00:42:20,130 --> 00:42:21,210
I know it's pronounced him.
542
00:42:21,370 --> 00:42:21,950
I'm gender blind.
543
00:42:22,250 --> 00:42:23,070
It's my cross to bear.
544
00:42:23,170 --> 00:42:24,170
Who's next? Toden.
545
00:42:24,830 --> 00:42:25,130
You're up.
546
00:42:25,790 --> 00:42:26,790
547
00:42:47,460 --> 00:42:48,580
Got him, Hunter.
548
00:42:50,820 --> 00:42:54,120
How long was I asleep?
549
00:42:54,740 --> 00:42:55,900
Not all of you was asleep.
550
00:42:56,540 --> 00:42:57,540
Don't bother.
551
00:42:58,200 --> 00:42:59,200
We're very thorough.
552
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:01,880
You know where we are. Start talking.
553
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:04,040
You're in the void.
554
00:43:04,860 --> 00:43:05,860
Look at this purgatory.
555
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:08,940
Reed called it a metaphysical junkyard.
556
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,300
Where anything useless goes
before it gets annihilated forever.
557
00:43:12,940 --> 00:43:17,200
And where the TVA sends people that don't
play nice with the rest of the multiverse.
558
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:17,860
Like you.
559
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:18,560
And you.
560
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,120
What does the
annihilate it? A lion.
561
00:43:21,220 --> 00:43:21,540
562
00:43:22,020 --> 00:43:23,280
A lion is in this thing?
563
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,360
From Loki season one episode five?
564
00:43:25,700 --> 00:43:27,300
Everyone here is on the run from a lion.
565
00:43:28,340 --> 00:43:29,380
Most don't make it.
566
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:30,960
There's a resistance though.
567
00:43:32,060 --> 00:43:34,220
Other people like us
that manage to survive.
568
00:43:34,980 --> 00:43:38,440
They're hiding out in the borderlands
trying to find a way to fuck out of here.
569
00:43:39,060 --> 00:43:40,100
That's where we go.
570
00:43:40,101 --> 00:43:42,320
We? Us? A team?
571
00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:43,820
The answer is yes.
572
00:43:44,020 --> 00:43:44,300
Shake us.
573
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,180
Fuck! You're knitted.
574
00:43:46,340 --> 00:43:48,220
Just got the tip with
your little steak knife.
575
00:43:48,740 --> 00:43:50,540
These others can help
us get back to the TVA.
576
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:51,680
They can fix things.
577
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:54,600
Something funny, bub?
578
00:43:55,140 --> 00:43:56,940
She might have something to say about that.
579
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:58,440
Who's she? In the void.
580
00:43:59,460 --> 00:44:00,460
581
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:04,280
You're either food for a
lion or you work for her.
582
00:45:11,430 --> 00:45:19,430
Huh. All right, finally aged.
583
00:45:20,690 --> 00:45:22,310
You must fit in serious juggernaut.
584
00:45:22,590 --> 00:45:22,870
Thank you.
585
00:45:22,910 --> 00:45:25,250
I'll keep your voices down.
She don't like the chatter.
586
00:45:25,610 --> 00:45:28,470
She's gonna love you.
587
00:45:44,500 --> 00:45:45,900
Hey, hey, Jack!
588
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:46,620
It's us!
589
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:47,880
That's not chunky.
590
00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:49,620
Shh.
591
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:52,140
Oh, ableism, great.
592
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:54,580
That's not gonna go over
well with the wolf mob.
593
00:45:55,140 --> 00:45:56,140
A wolverine!
594
00:45:56,990 --> 00:45:58,520
I wondered when I'd get one.
595
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,400
You're one of Xavier's.
596
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:02,761
You know him, you know
Chuck? Oh, I knew him.
597
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:04,040
598
00:46:04,580 --> 00:46:05,580
We shared a wound.
599
00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:09,400
Tried to strangle this little
fellow with my umbilical cord.
600
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:11,540
Hey, man. I've never loved roommates.
601
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:14,180
Mine's blind. Except she could see cocaine.
602
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:15,680
For some reason.
603
00:46:16,380 --> 00:46:17,780
You want to chime in, your
majesty? I'm dying here.
604
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:19,100
605
00:46:19,340 --> 00:46:20,340
Who are you?
606
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,100
Charles Xavier's twin, Cassandra Nova.
607
00:46:23,620 --> 00:46:23,920
Bullshit.
608
00:46:23,921 --> 00:46:24,921
That was an anal birth.
609
00:46:25,460 --> 00:46:26,600
You two are cute.
610
00:46:27,820 --> 00:46:29,220
I have a good feeling about this.
611
00:46:32,350 --> 00:46:35,320
And I've been trying to
catch this little firefly for years.
612
00:46:36,140 --> 00:46:37,140
Haven't I, Johnny?
613
00:46:39,060 --> 00:46:41,020
You've picked the wrong
time to make new friends.
614
00:46:41,660 --> 00:46:43,620
Oh, Johnny told us all about you.
615
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:44,800
Maybe shut up now.
616
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,080
Maybe no one's talking here.
617
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,680
Johnny told us you're a
psychotic, megalomaniacal asshole.
618
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:50,640
His word's not mine.
619
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,740
Hell bent on domination and pain.
620
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:55,620
You said all that about me.
621
00:46:55,621 --> 00:46:55,960
No.
622
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:56,880
No!
623
00:46:57,380 --> 00:46:58,420
How many eyes are in here?
624
00:46:58,640 --> 00:46:59,640
It's in stones, Johnny!
625
00:47:01,530 --> 00:47:02,600
The letter intimidate you.
626
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:04,920
Like you said in the convoy.
627
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:09,937
This finger-licking, dead inside,
pixie slab of third-rate, dime-store nut
628
00:47:09,949 --> 00:47:14,080
milk can eat your delicious cinnamon
ring and kick rocks all the way to bald L.
629
00:47:14,340 --> 00:47:17,220
I have never said any of
those words in my entire life.
630
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:18,400
The modesty.
631
00:47:18,660 --> 00:47:20,040
People think I'm a shit-talker.
632
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,280
But this guy? Next level.
633
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:22,560
634
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:23,800
What?
635
00:47:23,900 --> 00:47:26,180
Wait, I don't even know
what half of that means!
636
00:47:26,940 --> 00:47:28,060
My hat's off to you, sir.
637
00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:28,320
What? I didn't.
638
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,020
.. he's... that's...
I... I... I don't...
639
00:47:37,860 --> 00:47:38,860
Not my favorite, Chris.
640
00:47:39,770 --> 00:47:41,630
Shit, you just got him fucking killed.
641
00:47:41,890 --> 00:47:43,050
Hey, we're all grieving.
642
00:47:43,530 --> 00:47:43,770
Yes.
643
00:47:44,170 --> 00:47:45,530
Nobody was doing it in the budget.
644
00:47:47,890 --> 00:47:49,130
Life is hungry.
645
00:47:50,690 --> 00:47:52,230
There's been some kind of mistake.
646
00:47:52,231 --> 00:47:55,450
Big Yellow is a back-up anchor
being, and I'm Marvel Jesus.
647
00:47:55,790 --> 00:47:56,790
MJ, if you're nasty.
648
00:47:56,950 --> 00:47:59,430
This may be hard to hear, but
there's another British villain.
649
00:47:59,790 --> 00:48:01,990
He's gonna destroy my
universe, and I'm gonna stop him.
650
00:48:02,250 --> 00:48:04,690
Oh, honey, you don't really
strike me as a world-saving type.
651
00:48:07,650 --> 00:48:08,650
Did I hit him off?
652
00:48:09,530 --> 00:48:10,850
I didn't want it to come to this.
653
00:48:12,030 --> 00:48:14,568
Either you help us, or my
friend here is gonna sink
654
00:48:14,580 --> 00:48:17,330
the entire second act of
music, man, with zero warm-up.
655
00:48:18,150 --> 00:48:19,170
Where'd you get the chair?
656
00:48:19,171 --> 00:48:21,850
Once in a while, I do
get a child through here.
657
00:48:22,670 --> 00:48:24,490
Never mind, though. No.
658
00:48:25,650 --> 00:48:27,210
He didn't care to find me.
659
00:48:27,710 --> 00:48:28,710
Ugh!
660
00:48:28,790 --> 00:48:30,590
Jazzy, they're trauma-bragging!
661
00:48:31,190 --> 00:48:33,119
Can't you just stuff
it down, turn it into
662
00:48:33,131 --> 00:48:35,210
accomplishment or
cancer like the rest of us?
663
00:48:35,610 --> 00:48:36,990
But I'm not like the rest of you.
664
00:48:37,490 --> 00:48:38,570
Except maybe the Wolverine.
665
00:48:39,430 --> 00:48:41,750
Now we could be truly terrifying together.
666
00:48:42,010 --> 00:48:43,050
Yeah, that's scary, huh?
667
00:48:43,350 --> 00:48:44,890
The TVA certainly thought so.
668
00:48:45,610 --> 00:48:47,430
They sent me here before I could walk.
669
00:48:47,970 --> 00:48:50,610
And you know it was the best
thing that ever happened to me.
670
00:48:51,450 --> 00:48:52,450
I love it here.
671
00:48:52,490 --> 00:48:53,570
You live in a garbage dump.
672
00:48:54,050 --> 00:48:56,410
I think we both know who
lives in the garbage dump.
673
00:48:57,190 --> 00:48:58,330
The void is a paradise.
674
00:48:59,070 --> 00:49:02,470
I can wield my power here... without shame.
675
00:49:03,330 --> 00:49:06,390
Unfortunately, I had no Charles
Xavier to teach me temperance.
676
00:49:07,210 --> 00:49:08,270
What about your Charles?
677
00:49:09,230 --> 00:49:10,230
Did he protect you?
678
00:49:11,070 --> 00:49:12,710
Did he make you feel safe?
679
00:49:13,510 --> 00:49:14,830
We're mutants, we're never safe.
680
00:49:23,310 --> 00:49:25,450
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
I don't want the smoke.
681
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,840
I don't have any beef with you.
I just want to save my friends.
682
00:49:29,110 --> 00:49:30,350
I just want to go home.
683
00:49:30,750 --> 00:49:32,410
Well, the thing is, I could get you home.
684
00:49:32,590 --> 00:49:32,770
Good.
685
00:49:33,070 --> 00:49:34,070
But I don't want to.
686
00:49:34,330 --> 00:49:35,330
Not good.
687
00:49:38,470 --> 00:49:40,650
What do you want, Wade Wilson?
688
00:49:42,050 --> 00:49:44,770
Your fingers are inside
me, but not in a good way.
689
00:49:44,990 --> 00:49:47,550
My brother could enter
one's mind through the board.
690
00:49:48,390 --> 00:49:52,400
I'll get out of here.
691
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:54,400
I've got you.
692
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:11,200
Right here.
693
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,160
But show me, you've got to do something.
694
00:50:14,940 --> 00:50:15,940
Show you what?
695
00:50:16,220 --> 00:50:19,960
Show me you care about
something bigger than you.
696
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,320
Ever since they turned
you down, you took a knee.
697
00:50:24,790 --> 00:50:26,080
Baby, you never got back up.
698
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,000
I know you're going through something.
699
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:32,000
Let me go through it with you.
700
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:34,980
You're crazy, man. Just like me.
701
00:50:34,981 --> 00:50:35,981
Crazy.
702
00:50:38,710 --> 00:50:46,710
If you just say it, okay?
703
00:50:48,150 --> 00:50:50,590
Say, I don't want you.
I don't want to be with you.
704
00:50:51,660 --> 00:50:54,170
Go ahead and say it.
Say, I don't want to be with me.
705
00:50:54,430 --> 00:50:55,710
Tell me that and I'll walk away.
706
00:50:55,970 --> 00:50:57,550
Say, I don't want you.
707
00:51:04,790 --> 00:51:06,750
You'll never fucking matter.
708
00:51:13,340 --> 00:51:15,320
You'll never fucking matter.
709
00:51:32,770 --> 00:51:34,070
She never said that.
710
00:51:34,071 --> 00:51:37,090
No, but I bet she thought it.
711
00:51:38,850 --> 00:51:40,390
You are so mean.
712
00:51:41,130 --> 00:51:43,490
My brain could taste your
fingers if they tasted like hate.
713
00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:46,670
I'm wearing God's name
as the intimacy coordinator.
714
00:51:46,990 --> 00:51:48,650
You're so lost, Mr. Wilson.
715
00:51:50,170 --> 00:51:51,910
And long before you came here.
716
00:51:53,550 --> 00:51:56,170
Mrs. Baby Knife, she's going
to fuck you in the face now.
717
00:51:56,330 --> 00:51:58,970
If you want to kill me, it's going
to take more than a little bit.
718
00:51:59,410 --> 00:52:00,410
How about six?
719
00:52:02,170 --> 00:52:04,230
My wife wouldn't get strong.
720
00:52:05,010 --> 00:52:08,310
That's my big boy that you are.
721
00:52:11,310 --> 00:52:15,430
Well, this has been fun.
722
00:52:15,790 --> 00:52:17,810
But the big guy needs
to eat and the rent is due.
723
00:52:21,150 --> 00:52:23,030
By the way, you're the rent.
724
00:53:08,460 --> 00:53:09,486
What are you thinking, Val?
725
00:53:09,510 --> 00:53:10,510
Get the fuck off me.
726
00:53:10,690 --> 00:53:11,170
Shh, shh, shh.
727
00:53:11,171 --> 00:53:12,050
Almost done.
728
00:53:12,190 --> 00:53:12,730
Almost done.
729
00:53:12,990 --> 00:53:13,010
What?
730
00:53:13,350 --> 00:53:14,930
Getting my knife out of your buttocks.
731
00:53:15,390 --> 00:53:18,550
Get your mind out of my pants.
732
00:53:19,050 --> 00:53:19,710
I'm telling Blake.
733
00:53:20,050 --> 00:53:21,050
New rules.
734
00:53:21,590 --> 00:53:22,290
I talk now.
735
00:53:22,510 --> 00:53:24,181
That's going to be very
hard on the audience.
736
00:53:24,205 --> 00:53:25,330
Shut the fuck up.
737
00:53:26,470 --> 00:53:27,470
What do we fucking think?
738
00:53:27,930 --> 00:53:29,530
We've got to get back to paradox, right?
739
00:53:31,730 --> 00:53:32,730
Right?
740
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,490
Is there an excuse?
Am I allowed to speak now?
741
00:53:35,550 --> 00:53:37,110
Just nod, asshole.
742
00:53:39,130 --> 00:53:40,130
Right.
743
00:53:40,370 --> 00:53:42,116
Then we find the others
that poor kid Johnny
744
00:53:42,128 --> 00:53:43,886
was talking about
before you got him killed.
745
00:53:43,910 --> 00:53:45,030
Poor kid, he's like 50.
746
00:53:45,230 --> 00:53:47,910
If there's a chance they know
how to get out of here, we find them.
747
00:53:48,010 --> 00:53:51,050
Make those TVA fuckers fix
my shit like you fucking promised.
748
00:53:51,570 --> 00:53:52,570
I smell Quest.
749
00:53:55,390 --> 00:53:56,390
I smell food.
750
00:53:59,690 --> 00:54:03,110
So, what made you finally
wear an honest-to-god costume?
751
00:54:05,110 --> 00:54:06,670
Mine's red, so they can't see me bleed.
752
00:54:07,170 --> 00:54:09,690
But I could see how
yellow would be useful, too.
753
00:54:09,970 --> 00:54:11,210
Have you been checked
for ADHD? Mm-hmm.
754
00:54:11,770 --> 00:54:12,770
755
00:54:12,970 --> 00:54:16,910
But I've had several STDs, which
were probably caused by ADHD.
756
00:54:19,295 --> 00:54:20,430
What are you
looking for? Oh, fuck.
757
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:22,200
758
00:54:23,670 --> 00:54:25,551
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That's robbing alcohol.
759
00:54:25,650 --> 00:54:26,250
You don't want to drink alcohol.
760
00:54:26,450 --> 00:54:27,566
There you go, yep, there you go.
761
00:54:27,590 --> 00:54:28,590
Fuck that liver.
762
00:54:29,850 --> 00:54:30,850
Good.
763
00:54:31,070 --> 00:54:32,070
Okay.
764
00:54:32,660 --> 00:54:33,660
What the fuck are those?
765
00:54:35,470 --> 00:54:37,930
Back in civilian life, I wear
a toupee, but nobody knows.
766
00:54:42,130 --> 00:54:43,130
Everybody knows.
767
00:54:45,670 --> 00:54:49,170
Want to talk about what's haunting you, or
should we wait for a third act flashback?
768
00:54:49,690 --> 00:54:50,830
Uh, go fuck yourself.
769
00:54:57,080 --> 00:55:01,770
Hell, in my world, you're, uh...
you're well-regarded.
770
00:55:02,490 --> 00:55:03,490
Yeah, well, not in mine.
771
00:55:04,780 --> 00:55:06,380
They don't like me much in mine, either.
772
00:55:06,470 --> 00:55:07,470
You don't say.
773
00:55:08,340 --> 00:55:09,781
I want it to be something, you know.
774
00:55:11,110 --> 00:55:12,431
Shit, I want it to be an Avenger.
775
00:55:13,070 --> 00:55:14,070
Fuck the Avengers.
776
00:55:14,310 --> 00:55:16,250
You know, I didn't make the cut, though.
777
00:55:16,410 --> 00:55:17,410
Same with the X-Men.
778
00:55:19,540 --> 00:55:21,991
My girlfriend left me, and I just...
Did you get a girlfriend? Yeah.
779
00:55:22,330 --> 00:55:23,330
Vanessa.
780
00:55:23,930 --> 00:55:24,930
781
00:55:25,450 --> 00:55:26,651
When we met, she was a dancer.
782
00:55:28,050 --> 00:55:29,050
Made a whole life.
783
00:55:30,110 --> 00:55:31,110
It was good.
784
00:55:32,150 --> 00:55:36,270
But, oh boy, I just...
Fuck that right up.
785
00:55:37,850 --> 00:55:38,850
Where are you?
786
00:55:38,930 --> 00:55:39,930
You were an X-Men.
787
00:55:40,330 --> 00:55:41,870
Fuck that, you were the X-Men.
788
00:55:44,070 --> 00:55:45,070
The Wolverine.
789
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:49,241
He was a hero in the world.
790
00:55:52,710 --> 00:55:54,671
Yeah, well... he
didn't shit in mine.
791
00:56:00,050 --> 00:56:02,130
You said Logan was a hero.
What happened? He died.
792
00:56:03,490 --> 00:56:04,490
793
00:56:05,070 --> 00:56:06,070
How?
794
00:56:06,590 --> 00:56:08,970
Well, technically you
were chest-fucked by a tree,
795
00:56:09,290 --> 00:56:12,010
but really he just ran out of
batteries trying to save someone.
796
00:56:12,490 --> 00:56:12,690
Oh.
797
00:56:12,691 --> 00:56:18,410
The shit-heels that grew her in a lab
called her X-23, but she was just a kid.
798
00:56:19,310 --> 00:56:22,410
A younger, dainter, somehow
meaner version of you.
799
00:56:23,020 --> 00:56:24,370
He died trying to save her.
800
00:56:24,730 --> 00:56:25,730
It was beautiful.
801
00:56:26,470 --> 00:56:28,450
Look, Miho, I know you're hurt.
802
00:56:29,395 --> 00:56:32,430
My blind, elderly,
African-American roommate, Blind Al,
803
00:56:32,510 --> 00:56:34,690
always says that pain
teaches us who we are.
804
00:56:35,050 --> 00:56:37,450
Sometimes we need to listen
to that pain instead of running.
805
00:56:37,710 --> 00:56:38,430
Holy shit.
806
00:56:38,570 --> 00:56:41,690
That's her name. You call her Blind Al.
807
00:56:41,890 --> 00:56:42,890
Oh, she's blind.
808
00:57:20,460 --> 00:57:23,180
Look at you. She's coming with us.
809
00:57:23,300 --> 00:57:24,920
No, she's not. Oh, yes, she is.
810
00:57:24,921 --> 00:57:25,921
Fuck off. Oh, yes.
811
00:57:27,710 --> 00:57:28,710
Sorry about that.
812
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:30,280
Come here, girl.
813
00:57:31,460 --> 00:57:32,460
Who are you?
814
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:33,920
Oh, I'm Deadpool.
815
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:35,640
And I guess you're Deadpool, too.
816
00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:37,920
But in here, everybody
calls me Nice Deadpool.
817
00:57:38,220 --> 00:57:39,756
Oh, my goodness.
Wait till you see Lady Deadpool.
818
00:57:39,780 --> 00:57:40,780
She is gorgeous.
819
00:57:41,410 --> 00:57:42,410
She just had a baby, too.
820
00:57:42,690 --> 00:57:44,100
I can't even tell.
821
00:57:44,370 --> 00:57:45,620
I don't think you're supposed to say that.
822
00:57:45,621 --> 00:57:46,621
That's okay.
823
00:57:47,460 --> 00:57:49,320
I identify as a feminist, right?
824
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:55,140
Are those gold-plated, 50-caliber,
desert-eagle pistol arrows? Of course.
825
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:56,320
826
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:57,640
To match my ear-huggy.
827
00:57:57,820 --> 00:57:58,820
Can I have her?
828
00:57:59,060 --> 00:58:00,840
Ha! Over my dead body.
829
00:58:01,260 --> 00:58:02,260
You're fun.
830
00:58:02,660 --> 00:58:04,600
And I guess you've already
met Mary Poppins, AKA Dogpool.
831
00:58:05,460 --> 00:58:06,460
832
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:09,060
Therefore, you put your hand.
She's 90% G-spot,
833
00:58:09,340 --> 00:58:10,420
and she'll let you know it.
834
00:58:10,845 --> 00:58:14,160
You let this little flirt
out of your sight for
835
00:58:14,161 --> 00:58:16,280
one second, and she starts
shopping for a new papa.
836
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:18,780
If you can't be a responsible pedo,
837
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:20,920
then maybe you don't
deserve this little unicorn.
838
00:58:21,900 --> 00:58:24,680
Guilty on all charges you
ever chant happen again.
839
00:58:25,020 --> 00:58:26,020
Why are you so nice?
840
00:58:26,620 --> 00:58:27,800
It costs nothing to be kind.
841
00:58:28,220 --> 00:58:29,640
Shutting the fuck up is also free.
842
00:58:29,860 --> 00:58:30,280
Caliente.
843
00:58:30,420 --> 00:58:34,120
This is Logan. He's usually shirtless,
but he's let himself go since the divorce.
844
00:58:35,740 --> 00:58:36,740
Where's your mask?
Come on, guys.
845
00:58:39,660 --> 00:58:40,660
Oh, this guy.
846
00:58:42,020 --> 00:58:43,020
847
00:58:43,590 --> 00:58:45,151
We're looking for a group of survivors.
848
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:46,476
Oh, they're out there. Yeah.
849
00:58:46,500 --> 00:58:47,140
But Merck to Merck,
850
00:58:47,380 --> 00:58:49,676
you better hope that you don't
run into the Deadpool core.
851
00:58:49,700 --> 00:58:50,700
Yeah, they're crazy.
852
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:53,740
They will chop you up into a thousand
pieces and hide you all over the void.
853
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:55,856
If they could only process
their childhood trauma,
854
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:57,600
they'd go on one heck
of a healing journey.
855
00:58:57,700 --> 00:58:58,956
Look, we're headed for the Borderlands.
856
00:58:58,980 --> 00:58:59,980
You know where it is? Yeah.
857
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:01,940
That's 12 clicks.
858
00:59:02,540 --> 00:59:04,300
Do West.
I can lend you my ride if you like.
859
00:59:04,740 --> 00:59:06,020
It would be my honor.
860
00:59:09,870 --> 00:59:11,740
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.
861
00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:14,040
Uh-huh. What the? No. No.
862
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:16,000
Just get in the car. This isn't a car.
863
00:59:16,450 --> 00:59:18,600
This is a Honda fucking Odyssey.
864
00:59:18,980 --> 00:59:20,420
Throttle response sucks a cock.
865
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,040
Dated infotainment system.
866
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,640
When Honda saw that untreated
chlamydia was making a comeback,
867
00:59:25,020 --> 00:59:27,680
they invented the Honda Odyssey to compete.
868
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:30,660
Get in the fucking car.
869
00:59:31,020 --> 00:59:32,420
He'll get you there safe and sound.
870
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:34,040
Well, Betsy always does.
871
00:59:35,330 --> 00:59:37,411
You're going to have to
give me my dog back, though.
872
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:38,900
I know. Listen.
873
00:59:39,620 --> 00:59:40,620
Yeah, it's child.
874
00:59:40,770 --> 00:59:43,171
If you ever want to give
her up, or if she needs
875
00:59:43,260 --> 00:59:44,740
a new home, or if something
should happen to you,
876
00:59:44,860 --> 00:59:46,020
I'd love to be her papa.
877
00:59:46,820 --> 00:59:48,300
Oh, what would ever
happen to me? Lots of stuff.
878
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:49,880
879
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,220
No! We're running away!
880
00:59:56,650 --> 00:59:58,080
The corn was too dense, girl.
881
00:59:59,380 --> 01:00:00,380
Fuck!
882
01:00:11,750 --> 01:00:12,950
It's right here.
883
01:00:24,350 --> 01:00:32,130
Okay, I'm just going to ask.
What's with this suit?
884
01:00:32,670 --> 01:00:35,310
First thing I did when I
flamed out, I took my... Drop it.
885
01:00:35,510 --> 01:00:36,270
It's not that ugly.
886
01:00:36,390 --> 01:00:37,230
Stop talking about me.
887
01:00:37,231 --> 01:00:38,231
Did you make it
yourself? Quit now.
888
01:00:38,750 --> 01:00:40,850
The X-Men make you wear it?
889
01:00:41,190 --> 01:00:42,610
Those sons of fucking bitches.
890
01:00:43,310 --> 01:00:44,706
They are not your
friends, I'll tell you that.
891
01:00:44,730 --> 01:00:46,590
Friends, don't let friends leave the house
892
01:00:46,591 --> 01:00:48,910
looking like they fight crime
for the Los Angeles Rams.
893
01:00:49,070 --> 01:00:50,070
Shut the fuck up about this.
894
01:00:50,090 --> 01:00:50,790
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
895
01:00:50,890 --> 01:00:52,470
Watch your frown lines, angel baby.
896
01:00:52,610 --> 01:00:53,590
I'm just trying to bond a little bit.
897
01:00:53,591 --> 01:00:55,166
Yeah, well then talk about something else.
898
01:00:55,190 --> 01:00:56,190
Fine.
899
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:03,960
Stop it.
900
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:06,660
If they can fix your world,
901
01:01:06,780 --> 01:01:08,440
what's the first thing you're going
to do when you get out of here?
902
01:01:08,580 --> 01:01:09,740
Some rubbing alcohol shots?
903
01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:11,580
Maybe a wiper fluid chaser?
904
01:01:11,820 --> 01:01:12,380
What did you say?
905
01:01:12,381 --> 01:01:14,796
So when you get back, what's the first
thing you're going to do? Before that.
906
01:01:14,820 --> 01:01:15,820
907
01:01:17,140 --> 01:01:18,900
If they can fix your world?
908
01:01:23,090 --> 01:01:24,360
What do you mean, if? I mean.
909
01:01:25,500 --> 01:01:25,660
..
910
01:01:25,661 --> 01:01:27,520
You lie to me.
You don't have a fucking clue
911
01:01:27,521 --> 01:01:28,961
that can help me fix
things, do you? No, I mean.
912
01:01:29,240 --> 01:01:30,200
..
913
01:01:30,201 --> 01:01:31,201
No, fuck!
914
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:32,580
Fuck!
915
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:33,780
I didn't lie!
916
01:01:33,880 --> 01:01:34,320
You lied!
917
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,180
No, I made an educated wish!
918
01:01:38,150 --> 01:01:39,420
Because I need you.
919
01:01:40,940 --> 01:01:42,430
This... This is why.
920
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:43,960
Right here.
921
01:01:44,625 --> 01:01:46,346
Because if we don't do something, they die.
922
01:01:46,590 --> 01:01:48,271
I don't know anything about saving worlds.
923
01:01:48,830 --> 01:01:49,920
And why would I even care?
924
01:01:50,380 --> 01:01:53,160
Because my entire world
is right here in this picture.
925
01:01:53,830 --> 01:01:55,360
It's only nine people.
926
01:01:55,910 --> 01:01:57,760
And I have no idea how to save it alone.
927
01:01:59,110 --> 01:02:02,860
I know how to fuck people up for money,
but you, you, know how to save them.
928
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,480
At least the other wolverine did.
929
01:02:06,650 --> 01:02:08,920
I guess I'm stuck with the worst one.
930
01:02:08,921 --> 01:02:14,760
Did you say you made
an educated fucking wish?
931
01:02:15,260 --> 01:02:17,020
They call me the Merc with the Mouth.
932
01:02:17,460 --> 01:02:19,440
They don't call me Truthful Timmy,
933
01:02:19,580 --> 01:02:21,360
the blowjob queen of Saskatoon.
934
01:02:25,190 --> 01:02:26,190
One more word.
935
01:02:27,420 --> 01:02:28,920
Please give me one.
936
01:02:32,850 --> 01:02:33,850
gubernatorial
937
01:02:36,980 --> 01:02:38,461
You know what? You're a fucking joke.
938
01:02:40,190 --> 01:02:41,751
No one of the Avengers didn't take you.
939
01:02:41,810 --> 01:02:43,570
Or the X-Men. They'll say, fuck anyone.
940
01:02:44,390 --> 01:02:49,450
I mean, you are a ridiculous,
immature, half-wit moron.
941
01:02:50,110 --> 01:02:54,510
And I have never met the
sadder, more attention-starved,
942
01:02:54,765 --> 01:02:57,210
jibbering little prick in my entire life.
943
01:02:57,390 --> 01:02:59,588
And that says a lot,
because I've been alive
944
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:01,610
for more than two
or very fucking years.
945
01:03:02,120 --> 01:03:05,070
I'll tell you, that ball chick
was right about one thing.
946
01:03:05,150 --> 01:03:07,310
You will never save the world.
947
01:03:07,311 --> 01:03:12,110
You couldn't even save a
relationship with a goddamn stripper.
948
01:03:12,770 --> 01:03:14,910
Motherfucker, I wish I
could say you'd die alone.
949
01:03:15,170 --> 01:03:18,090
But it's one of the best
jokes that you can't die,
950
01:03:18,290 --> 01:03:19,530
except that's on all of us.
951
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,020
Well, you got nothing to say, Mouth.
952
01:03:35,100 --> 01:03:36,450
I'm gonna fight you now.
953
01:03:38,630 --> 01:03:39,630
Oh, boy.
954
01:03:46,030 --> 01:03:48,810
Three, two, one.
955
01:04:58,110 --> 01:05:01,030
I take it all back.
The Honda Odyssey fucks hard.
956
01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:03,050
Too bad you don't needle dick.
957
01:05:03,250 --> 01:05:04,550
We're just getting started, bub.
958
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:03,800
Four.
959
01:06:06,820 --> 01:06:07,820
Where are we? No clue.
960
01:06:08,280 --> 01:06:10,600
I like it here.
961
01:07:09,780 --> 01:07:12,260
Okay. Look at you.
962
01:07:12,510 --> 01:07:14,320
All. You must be the others.
963
01:07:15,580 --> 01:07:16,580
Terrific.
964
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:20,440
So, just to refresh,
you are one... Electra.
965
01:07:20,500 --> 01:07:21,500
Electra, yes.
966
01:07:22,600 --> 01:07:25,940
And you, I was not
expecting to see you here.
967
01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:28,560
Thought you were, you know, retired.
968
01:07:30,300 --> 01:07:31,300
Retired.
969
01:07:32,740 --> 01:07:33,220
Retired.
970
01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:36,076
I'm already in the void.
I'm not trying to get cancelled again.
971
01:07:36,100 --> 01:07:36,780
I don't like you.
972
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:37,960
You never did.
973
01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:42,940
And who's this succulent reminder
of my own inadequacies? Look at you.
974
01:07:43,580 --> 01:07:44,580
975
01:07:45,150 --> 01:07:47,080
You look like the superhero
version of Hawkeye.
976
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:49,120
My name's Remy LaBeau.
977
01:07:49,820 --> 01:07:50,980
And they're up there blowing.
978
01:07:51,430 --> 01:07:52,536
But you can call me the gambit.
979
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:55,040
It's been a while since I've
seen Sling Blade hit me again.
980
01:07:56,330 --> 01:07:57,330
They call me the gambit.
981
01:07:57,520 --> 01:07:57,780
Do they?
982
01:07:57,980 --> 01:07:59,708
Are you sure you
didn't just really, really
983
01:07:59,720 --> 01:08:01,500
want them to, but it
never quite worked out?
984
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:05,920
You know, we never had
a wolverine of it, yeah?
985
01:08:07,220 --> 01:08:09,581
But I can tell you now,
it's just a common courtesy
986
01:08:09,593 --> 01:08:11,640
to ask before you
drink up all of my liquor.
987
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:14,121
Well, it's a good thing
I don't give a fuck.
988
01:08:15,160 --> 01:08:16,220
Cool, yeah, it's a while.
989
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:22,600
So embarrassing.
990
01:08:24,620 --> 01:08:27,480
Well, that settled. Look, we
came a long way to find you, three.
991
01:08:27,700 --> 01:08:28,400
There's four of us.
992
01:08:28,620 --> 01:08:29,000
There's four.
993
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:30,240
Wait, is it Magneto?
994
01:08:31,070 --> 01:08:33,460
Dear sweet god in
heaven, let it be Magneto.
995
01:08:33,580 --> 01:08:34,020
He's with him.
996
01:08:34,060 --> 01:08:34,400
He's dead.
997
01:08:34,401 --> 01:08:34,760
Fuck!
998
01:08:35,220 --> 01:08:36,380
Now Disney gets cheap?
999
01:08:36,620 --> 01:08:40,020
It's like Pinocchio jammed his face
in my ass and started lying like crazy.
1000
01:08:42,765 --> 01:08:45,580
Not a single word. What do you do exactly?
1001
01:08:46,460 --> 01:08:47,460
Just playing cards.
1002
01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:48,760
Make him go boom.
1003
01:08:49,140 --> 01:08:50,821
Your powers close that magic. That's good.
1004
01:08:51,100 --> 01:08:52,381
We're not totally fucked at all.
1005
01:08:52,900 --> 01:08:54,040
So who brought us here?
1006
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:55,600
That would be me.
1007
01:09:05,570 --> 01:09:06,570
Don't leave me regret it.
1008
01:09:08,790 --> 01:09:09,790
Holy shit.
1009
01:09:09,830 --> 01:09:11,290
Logan, that's her. That's X-23.
1010
01:09:12,070 --> 01:09:13,430
She's the one I told you about.
1011
01:09:18,230 --> 01:09:20,010
How did you all get stuck in the void?
1012
01:09:20,550 --> 01:09:23,130
There was a knock at the door.
TVA should be here.
1013
01:09:23,330 --> 01:09:23,690
Me too.
1014
01:09:23,950 --> 01:09:26,290
Maybe I was born here,
so it's hard to know for sure.
1015
01:09:26,970 --> 01:09:28,790
TVA decided our universe was dying.
1016
01:09:30,130 --> 01:09:31,990
And I never even got
a chance to fight for it.
1017
01:09:34,750 --> 01:09:36,230
People like us don't go quietly.
1018
01:09:36,990 --> 01:09:38,670
TVA knows that, so they took us out.
1019
01:09:39,820 --> 01:09:41,290
The answer is yes. I'm in.
1020
01:09:41,730 --> 01:09:42,230
In what? A team.
1021
01:09:42,470 --> 01:09:45,410
Me. Me, you, you and
me, all of us together.
1022
01:09:45,870 --> 01:09:47,086
Let's get the fuck out of this place.
1023
01:09:47,110 --> 01:09:49,010
Don't listen to me, it's a fucking lie.
1024
01:09:49,170 --> 01:09:50,270
It was an educated wish! Look.
1025
01:09:51,670 --> 01:09:52,670
1026
01:09:53,960 --> 01:09:55,430
We've been inside Cassandra's lair.
1027
01:09:55,930 --> 01:09:58,370
The only way out of
the void is through her.
1028
01:09:58,790 --> 01:09:59,790
She can get us home.
1029
01:09:59,970 --> 01:10:00,690
She told us.
1030
01:10:00,940 --> 01:10:02,301
Wait a minute, you've been inside?
1031
01:10:02,830 --> 01:10:03,870
And you made it
out alive? Bullshit.
1032
01:10:04,070 --> 01:10:05,810
Nobody's ever done that.
1033
01:10:05,990 --> 01:10:06,330
We did.
1034
01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:09,690
Every time one of us has
gone up against her, they die.
1035
01:10:10,715 --> 01:10:12,990
The Punisher, the
Quicksilver, the Daredevil.
1036
01:10:13,530 --> 01:10:14,730
Daredevil, I'm so sorry.
1037
01:10:14,990 --> 01:10:15,990
Tonight.
1038
01:10:18,370 --> 01:10:20,570
Even that sweet baby angel, Johnny Stone,
1039
01:10:21,710 --> 01:10:24,270
you can go missing like two days ago.
1040
01:10:26,020 --> 01:10:27,020
That's so sad.
1041
01:10:27,530 --> 01:10:30,110
Whoever this Johnny fella
is, I'm sure he's thriving.
1042
01:10:31,450 --> 01:10:33,190
Look, there's strength in numbers.
1043
01:10:33,810 --> 01:10:36,570
Us, plus you guys, we
can put Cassandra over
1044
01:10:36,571 --> 01:10:38,411
and he'll force her to
let us out of the void.
1045
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:40,201
I know what it means to feel self-doubt.
1046
01:10:40,290 --> 01:10:41,290
I don't feel that at all.
1047
01:10:41,370 --> 01:10:41,770
I'm good.
1048
01:10:42,090 --> 01:10:43,970
Now I get your gut like
a coke duct tape purse.
1049
01:10:44,030 --> 01:10:45,450
I healed up a memory of my soul.
1050
01:10:45,740 --> 01:10:47,941
You guys may not have been
able to save your universes,
1051
01:10:48,585 --> 01:10:49,830
but you can avenge them.
1052
01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:52,281
It's what Johnny would have wanted.
1053
01:10:52,350 --> 01:10:53,350
Wait.
1054
01:10:53,900 --> 01:10:54,900
You knew Johnny? Oh, yeah.
1055
01:10:55,890 --> 01:10:56,890
1056
01:10:57,420 --> 01:10:59,210
To get here, talk to me on the team up
1057
01:10:59,460 --> 01:11:01,570
and Johnny came down
with a little case of the dead.
1058
01:11:01,670 --> 01:11:02,930
No, no, no, we don't know that.
1059
01:11:03,150 --> 01:11:04,190
It was just a flesh wound.
1060
01:11:04,390 --> 01:11:05,390
He may have survived.
1061
01:11:05,450 --> 01:11:08,130
If he survived that,
he is praying for death.
1062
01:11:08,131 --> 01:11:09,990
Thank you, Dr. Wolverine.
1063
01:11:10,290 --> 01:11:11,690
Really? What you do to
Johnny, huh? Talk to her.
1064
01:11:12,210 --> 01:11:13,531
I'm gonna stop here.
1065
01:11:13,925 --> 01:11:15,350
Okay, okay, hey, hey, hey.
1066
01:11:15,550 --> 01:11:15,750
Okay.
1067
01:11:16,450 --> 01:11:18,310
He rans fat ass mouth about Cassandra.
1068
01:11:19,050 --> 01:11:20,630
Then she zips out his skin,
1069
01:11:20,865 --> 01:11:23,030
leaving his organs to
splash crudely onto the
1070
01:11:23,031 --> 01:11:24,631
ground while the soil
greedily drank his blood.
1071
01:11:24,710 --> 01:11:25,710
It was horrible.
1072
01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:26,990
He was like a brother to me.
1073
01:11:27,610 --> 01:11:30,110
He died before he could make a difference,
1074
01:11:30,270 --> 01:11:32,410
but maybe you couldn't save your world.
1075
01:11:33,590 --> 01:11:35,650
But Jesus Christ, you can save mine.
1076
01:11:36,240 --> 01:11:37,721
I don't give a shit about your world,
1077
01:11:38,900 --> 01:11:40,621
but if these two made it out of their life,
1078
01:11:41,015 --> 01:11:43,470
maybe together we could
get back in and take her down.
1079
01:11:43,610 --> 01:11:46,230
Where I come from, we
call that suicide share.
1080
01:11:46,710 --> 01:11:48,430
If we can block her psychic powers,
1081
01:11:48,570 --> 01:11:49,990
we can get a leg up. I know it.
1082
01:11:50,490 --> 01:11:51,690
Now, I know Magneto's dead,
1083
01:11:52,650 --> 01:11:54,250
but I venture to guess that his helmet
1084
01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:55,801
is lying around her somewhere.
1085
01:11:56,170 --> 01:11:57,186
Cassandra melted a helmet.
1086
01:11:57,210 --> 01:11:57,410
Fuck!
1087
01:11:57,610 --> 01:11:58,410
After she killed her.
1088
01:11:58,490 --> 01:11:58,870
Fuck!
1089
01:11:59,430 --> 01:11:59,990
You don't believe?
1090
01:12:00,150 --> 01:12:03,031
She knows that helmet was the only
way to protect anyone from her powers.
1091
01:12:03,440 --> 01:12:06,590
The only other helmet that's strong is
Juggernauts, but he works for Cassandra.
1092
01:12:06,591 --> 01:12:07,850
Juggernauts helmet, that's it.
1093
01:12:08,050 --> 01:12:08,810
Yeah, we don't be knowing that.
1094
01:12:08,930 --> 01:12:10,426
It ain't coming off without that dome.
1095
01:12:10,450 --> 01:12:11,210
Gonna come off with it.
1096
01:12:11,370 --> 01:12:12,050
I'm so sorry, beautiful.
1097
01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:13,170
I want this to be gentle.
1098
01:12:13,350 --> 01:12:14,550
Who is your dialect coach?
1099
01:12:14,950 --> 01:12:15,470
The minions?
1100
01:12:15,930 --> 01:12:18,730
I feel like we're missing
critical exposition here.
1101
01:12:20,510 --> 01:12:22,330
I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of hiding.
1102
01:12:24,370 --> 01:12:26,091
Let's face it, our world's forgot about us.
1103
01:12:26,530 --> 01:12:27,990
We never learned about us.
1104
01:12:28,230 --> 01:12:29,390
The heroes we were.
1105
01:12:29,850 --> 01:12:31,890
Life's insane. I wanted to save.
1106
01:12:32,590 --> 01:12:34,090
Maybe these two are our chance.
1107
01:12:35,630 --> 01:12:38,030
To be remembered the way we deserve.
1108
01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:40,130
Yes.
1109
01:12:40,710 --> 01:12:41,710
An ending.
1110
01:12:42,610 --> 01:12:43,010
Legacy.
1111
01:12:43,470 --> 01:12:45,350
Yes! Yes! Let this man cook!
1112
01:12:45,690 --> 01:12:46,930
This is what I'm talking about.
1113
01:12:47,030 --> 01:12:48,870
Bigs, slow motion, fight, sad music.
1114
01:12:49,070 --> 01:12:50,106
Everybody's working together.
1115
01:12:50,130 --> 01:12:52,090
Who knows if you live
or die, that sort of thing.
1116
01:12:52,170 --> 01:12:52,630
Who's ready?
1117
01:12:52,950 --> 01:12:53,950
I was born ready.
1118
01:12:54,310 --> 01:12:55,310
Yeah, damn it.
1119
01:12:55,390 --> 01:12:58,110
I ain't know my daddy, but I'm
sure I shot out of his dick ready.
1120
01:12:58,570 --> 01:13:00,190
Jesus, Rice, that is graphic.
1121
01:13:00,410 --> 01:13:02,350
Yeah, you random buttery
nuts all up in my mama,
1122
01:13:02,351 --> 01:13:04,311
and I shot out there,
and I said, what's up, doc?
1123
01:13:04,790 --> 01:13:06,510
I'm not shutting up, I love you.
1124
01:13:06,890 --> 01:13:08,630
X-23, what's it gonna be?
1125
01:13:09,170 --> 01:13:11,410
The name's Laura. Let's fucking go.
1126
01:13:11,850 --> 01:13:13,230
Let's fucking go.
1127
01:13:13,570 --> 01:13:14,770
Sold that chicken and coke.
1128
01:13:15,030 --> 01:13:15,850
Yeah, we're doing this.
1129
01:13:15,970 --> 01:13:17,070
You're all fucking dead.
1130
01:13:17,270 --> 01:13:19,010
My card, read the room.
1131
01:13:30,730 --> 01:13:32,230
Hey, I'm not looking for company.
1132
01:13:32,970 --> 01:13:33,970
Get out of here.
1133
01:13:35,330 --> 01:13:36,590
You remind me of him.
1134
01:13:37,610 --> 01:13:38,150
Angry drunk.
1135
01:13:38,450 --> 01:13:38,570
Name.
1136
01:13:39,110 --> 01:13:40,010
Sounds like a great guy.
1137
01:13:40,011 --> 01:13:41,011
He wasn't finished.
1138
01:13:43,170 --> 01:13:44,670
Showed up when it mattered the most.
1139
01:13:46,910 --> 01:13:47,910
Couldn't help it.
1140
01:13:52,010 --> 01:13:55,120
He might not know it, but
you're a good man, Logan.
1141
01:13:57,780 --> 01:14:00,100
You might not know, but
apparently I'm the worst, Logan.
1142
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:04,121
I got to have a life because of you.
1143
01:14:07,410 --> 01:14:08,980
I got to grow up because of you.
1144
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:11,980
A lot of kids didn't.
1145
01:14:12,890 --> 01:14:14,680
A lot of kids didn't grow up because of me.
1146
01:14:17,020 --> 01:14:18,240
Trust me, kid, I'm no hero.
1147
01:14:19,850 --> 01:14:20,920
That suit says different.
1148
01:14:22,785 --> 01:14:23,785
Yeah, I really like it.
1149
01:14:25,970 --> 01:14:27,980
Scott used to beg me to wear it.
1150
01:14:30,120 --> 01:14:32,100
So did Gene, Storm, and Beast.
1151
01:14:34,620 --> 01:14:35,620
All of them.
1152
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:39,320
I wanted me to be part
of the team that I wouldn't.
1153
01:14:40,940 --> 01:14:42,581
Told them they'd look fucking ridiculous.
1154
01:14:45,560 --> 01:14:48,060
I couldn't happen thinking
I wanted to be there.
1155
01:14:54,140 --> 01:14:56,900
And then one day, while I was
all for my own, the humans came.
1156
01:14:58,020 --> 01:14:59,020
And went mutant hunting.
1157
01:15:00,630 --> 01:15:01,630
I can guess the rest.
1158
01:15:01,780 --> 01:15:02,140
No, no.
1159
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:05,000
Let me say it.
1160
01:15:05,001 --> 01:15:06,580
And I...
1161
01:15:08,150 --> 01:15:10,120
I need to say it.
1162
01:15:11,980 --> 01:15:14,960
By the time I stumbled on
shitface from the bar, it was too late.
1163
01:15:19,700 --> 01:15:21,320
They were dead, every...
1164
01:15:27,260 --> 01:15:30,540
This suit's all I got to
remind me of who they were.
1165
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:33,160
And what I did.
1166
01:15:46,550 --> 01:15:48,071
We're headed to Cassandra's at summer.
1167
01:15:49,165 --> 01:15:50,720
Have fun. Not my fight.
1168
01:15:54,340 --> 01:15:55,780
We won't pull this off without you.
1169
01:16:02,980 --> 01:16:05,670
Hey, whoever you think I
am, you got the wrong guy.
1170
01:16:09,060 --> 01:16:10,450
You were always the wrong guy.
1171
01:16:36,530 --> 01:16:37,530
What?
1172
01:16:37,830 --> 01:16:38,830
Elias didn't get them.
1173
01:16:39,730 --> 01:16:43,010
Cassandra wanted to play with
them herself first. They got away.
1174
01:16:43,290 --> 01:16:44,290
Did they find the others?
1175
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:44,630
No.
1176
01:16:45,030 --> 01:16:46,150
Good. We're actually fooled.
1177
01:16:46,310 --> 01:16:47,330
The others found them.
1178
01:16:47,510 --> 01:16:49,170
Oh, very cute. Well done, Pyro.
1179
01:16:49,550 --> 01:16:51,126
Classic bait and switch.
You really got me there.
1180
01:16:51,150 --> 01:16:52,150
Relax.
1181
01:16:53,030 --> 01:16:54,870
Come after Nova. She'll handle it.
1182
01:16:55,230 --> 01:16:57,150
Cassandra is a lunatic wild card.
1183
01:16:57,450 --> 01:16:59,570
Why do you think we put
her there in the first place?
1184
01:16:59,670 --> 01:17:01,550
I thought she's never
chosen to leave the void.
1185
01:17:01,690 --> 01:17:04,230
The time river is hours
away from completion.
1186
01:17:04,490 --> 01:17:05,590
I can't take any chances.
1187
01:17:05,840 --> 01:17:08,870
No, maybe not. But I can. For a price.
1188
01:17:09,290 --> 01:17:10,970
What do you have to say
about Silly Voice? It's an icky.
1189
01:17:11,070 --> 01:17:12,070
1190
01:17:12,270 --> 01:17:13,070
You want it done
or not? All right.
1191
01:17:13,230 --> 01:17:14,730
Your price. Take her out.
1192
01:17:17,150 --> 01:17:18,150
Mutants.
1193
01:17:39,650 --> 01:17:42,370
Look at that. Yeah.
See them big amends coming close.
1194
01:17:42,550 --> 01:17:43,986
They're not a one-handed on this side.
1195
01:17:44,010 --> 01:17:48,150
What Gavin's trying to say is getting
Juggernauts' helmet ain't going to be easy.
1196
01:17:48,470 --> 01:17:50,870
I'm just making stuff up with this.
Yeah, tilt up the blade.
1197
01:17:52,010 --> 01:17:53,610
They have a curve. We'll check.
1198
01:17:56,270 --> 01:17:57,570
When he gets that little Silly.
1199
01:17:58,410 --> 01:17:59,990
That's one issue. It's 18-4.
1200
01:18:00,490 --> 01:18:02,450
Which punishment?
There's been like five of them.
1201
01:18:02,690 --> 01:18:03,810
There's only been one blade.
1202
01:18:04,390 --> 01:18:06,750
You're going to be able
to beat me right now.
1203
01:19:18,100 --> 01:19:19,740
Oh, this is going to be good.
1204
01:19:20,480 --> 01:19:22,380
You know how long
I've been waiting for this?
1205
01:19:23,220 --> 01:19:25,120
Who am I about to make
a name for myself, yeah?
1206
01:19:25,500 --> 01:19:27,320
I don't think you guys walk away from this.
1207
01:19:27,440 --> 01:19:29,616
You just make sure people
know what happened here today.
1208
01:19:29,640 --> 01:19:31,916
When you get out of here,
you have a drink from me, yeah?
1209
01:19:31,940 --> 01:19:33,240
You're still not sitting inside.
1210
01:19:33,940 --> 01:19:35,520
We'll make sure you get the package.
1211
01:19:36,260 --> 01:19:37,680
And we'll get our ending.
1212
01:21:20,580 --> 01:21:22,800
Some motherfucker still
trying to ice skate up here.
1213
01:21:29,610 --> 01:21:31,690
You two escaping I could live with.
1214
01:21:32,330 --> 01:21:34,490
But coming back, willingly.
1215
01:21:36,490 --> 01:21:37,950
Boys are so silly.
1216
01:21:38,490 --> 01:21:39,490
I just need to get home.
1217
01:21:39,730 --> 01:21:41,690
Well, that's not on the menu, I'm afraid.
1218
01:21:42,310 --> 01:21:45,450
It's death or enslavement,
a la carte, of course.
1219
01:21:45,451 --> 01:21:46,451
Absolutely.
1220
01:21:52,390 --> 01:21:53,390
Finally.
1221
01:21:53,510 --> 01:21:55,430
It's nice to give someone
else a chance to talk.
1222
01:21:55,670 --> 01:21:56,670
Not my strong suit.
1223
01:22:33,920 --> 01:22:41,920
Why aren't you?
1224
01:22:43,060 --> 01:22:46,080
I do feel like you get
lost behind all of this.
1225
01:22:49,340 --> 01:22:51,520
Deadpools are a dime
a dozen here in the void.
1226
01:22:52,520 --> 01:22:53,520
But you...
1227
01:22:54,820 --> 01:22:57,340
What's going on
here? Interesting.
1228
01:23:11,200 --> 01:23:12,200
1229
01:23:13,490 --> 01:23:15,560
Not when I said it was that good.
1230
01:23:16,700 --> 01:23:17,700
By the anchor.
1231
01:23:21,960 --> 01:23:23,670
You're hiding from them.
1232
01:23:25,370 --> 01:23:26,650
From all the ones you let down.
1233
01:23:29,350 --> 01:23:30,430
So much pain.
1234
01:23:33,020 --> 01:23:34,030
I walked away.
1235
01:23:35,625 --> 01:23:38,270
They called after me and I walked away.
1236
01:23:44,170 --> 01:23:46,780
That's not all you did,
is it? You found them.
1237
01:23:50,850 --> 01:23:52,060
The X-Men.
1238
01:23:53,010 --> 01:23:54,010
1239
01:24:05,940 --> 01:24:06,940
What did you do?
1240
01:24:09,680 --> 01:24:10,680
I started killing.
1241
01:24:11,660 --> 01:24:12,760
And I couldn't stop.
1242
01:24:13,180 --> 01:24:14,180
I didn't want to stop.
1243
01:24:15,850 --> 01:24:17,980
All those bad men.
1244
01:24:22,500 --> 01:24:23,680
It's not just the bad ones.
1245
01:24:25,320 --> 01:24:26,360
My little one.
1246
01:24:29,660 --> 01:24:32,140
I turned the whole world against the X-Men.
1247
01:24:38,850 --> 01:24:40,050
Just once.
1248
01:24:42,520 --> 01:24:44,850
I'm gonna be the man
that Charles thought I was.
1249
01:24:46,250 --> 01:24:47,250
Logan.
1250
01:24:48,790 --> 01:24:52,210
In the void you can be, what do you want?
1251
01:24:54,820 --> 01:24:56,110
I just want to be free.
1252
01:24:57,410 --> 01:24:58,640
I can set you free.
1253
01:25:10,100 --> 01:25:14,990
I can silence those voices.
1254
01:25:29,820 --> 01:25:30,820
I got you.
1255
01:25:38,900 --> 01:25:41,140
Get it off!
1256
01:25:41,141 --> 01:25:42,600
You're gonna send us home.
1257
01:25:42,880 --> 01:25:44,640
Here, I'm gonna twist
your fucking head off.
1258
01:25:44,800 --> 01:25:45,800
Why are you laughing?
1259
01:25:46,280 --> 01:25:50,060
I can't send you home unless
you get this thing off my head.
1260
01:25:50,980 --> 01:25:54,760
And as soon as you do that, I'm going
to boil your brains on an atomic level
1261
01:25:54,761 --> 01:25:57,640
whilst flicking my beam
to the Ennio Boxhead.
1262
01:25:57,900 --> 01:25:59,060
There's an Ennio Boxhead?
1263
01:25:59,280 --> 01:26:01,660
Either you kill me, or I kill you.
1264
01:26:02,700 --> 01:26:03,920
Both wonderful options.
1265
01:26:04,860 --> 01:26:05,860
You want me to do it?
1266
01:26:06,400 --> 01:26:06,480
No.
1267
01:26:06,860 --> 01:26:09,420
I have her neck right here.
It's really no problem.
1268
01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:10,160
You'll screw it up.
1269
01:26:10,161 --> 01:26:12,780
Oh, come on, Mr. PG-13,
except the last one.
1270
01:26:13,560 --> 01:26:14,560
What the fuck?
1271
01:26:17,140 --> 01:26:19,220
You have no idea what it's like.
1272
01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:22,240
Day after day, shovel the shit.
1273
01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:23,780
Fetch the meats!
1274
01:26:24,460 --> 01:26:27,100
I have spent my entire existence...
1275
01:26:29,115 --> 01:26:30,340
Not everyone gets a speech.
1276
01:26:32,360 --> 01:26:33,400
She's gonna die.
1277
01:26:33,820 --> 01:26:36,920
Hey, hey, if I take this helmet
off, you promise you won't kill us?
1278
01:26:37,300 --> 01:26:39,540
I promise I will kill you first.
1279
01:26:39,940 --> 01:26:41,400
Why are you like
this? I wish I knew.
1280
01:26:41,401 --> 01:26:42,660
Take it off.
1281
01:26:43,060 --> 01:26:43,600
1282
01:26:44,060 --> 01:26:44,300
What? Take it off.
1283
01:26:44,560 --> 01:26:44,920
1284
01:26:45,220 --> 01:26:45,500
Why?
1285
01:26:45,680 --> 01:26:46,120
Just take it off.
1286
01:26:46,121 --> 01:26:47,800
This is our only chance to fix our shit!
1287
01:26:47,801 --> 01:26:48,801
Take it off!
1288
01:26:50,620 --> 01:26:51,960
I am wearing this suit.
1289
01:26:53,040 --> 01:26:55,360
And that means a lot
of things for most of all.
1290
01:26:56,960 --> 01:26:57,960
It means I'm an X-Man.
1291
01:26:59,480 --> 01:27:00,480
And I know your brother.
1292
01:27:02,965 --> 01:27:06,900
As much as I'm gonna fucking kill him,
every bone in my body must fucking kill you.
1293
01:27:07,320 --> 01:27:10,100
He would not let me stand
here and watch him die.
1294
01:27:12,740 --> 01:27:13,740
Take your hands off.
1295
01:27:15,740 --> 01:27:16,740
This is for him.
1296
01:27:18,860 --> 01:27:19,860
This is for Charles.
1297
01:27:39,855 --> 01:27:40,855
My brother loved you.
1298
01:27:42,770 --> 01:27:43,770
He loved all of us.
1299
01:27:46,810 --> 01:27:47,810
Must be nice.
1300
01:27:49,030 --> 01:27:50,150
He would have loved you too.
1301
01:27:53,170 --> 01:27:54,170
If he knew about you.
1302
01:27:56,110 --> 01:27:58,258
If he knew where you
were, he would have torn a
1303
01:27:58,270 --> 01:28:00,430
hole in the fucking
universe to bring you home.
1304
01:28:00,650 --> 01:28:01,650
Yeah.
1305
01:28:04,270 --> 01:28:05,890
This is for him.
1306
01:28:07,080 --> 01:28:08,521
Well, then at least let us save his.
1307
01:28:12,900 --> 01:28:14,450
He wanted to hear something crazy.
1308
01:28:16,555 --> 01:28:19,550
And I'm a true magician
rolled through here a while back.
1309
01:28:20,390 --> 01:28:21,770
I killed him, of course.
1310
01:28:22,850 --> 01:28:24,610
Wrist skin around for four days.
1311
01:28:26,010 --> 01:28:29,730
But I found this little trinket.
1312
01:28:29,731 --> 01:28:31,970
And his lovely fingers.
1313
01:28:36,910 --> 01:28:38,430
Army sparkle circle.
1314
01:28:38,870 --> 01:28:39,870
What's that?
1315
01:28:40,110 --> 01:28:41,350
This is your way home.
1316
01:28:42,330 --> 01:28:44,030
I do owe you to save my life.
1317
01:28:44,310 --> 01:28:45,670
But let's keep things interesting.
1318
01:28:45,870 --> 01:28:48,830
I say I need about four seconds
before you and I are screwed.
1319
01:28:53,840 --> 01:28:54,840
Gracia.
1320
01:28:59,900 --> 01:29:02,180
I'll be seeing you.
1321
01:29:03,900 --> 01:29:07,840
In all the old familiar places.
1322
01:29:09,040 --> 01:29:13,100
That this life could never break.
1323
01:29:13,980 --> 01:29:16,000
All day through.
1324
01:29:21,180 --> 01:29:23,100
That small conveyor.
1325
01:29:25,440 --> 01:29:28,360
That path across the bay.
1326
01:29:30,500 --> 01:29:33,600
The children's carousel.
1327
01:29:36,920 --> 01:29:39,120
The wishing well.
1328
01:29:45,700 --> 01:29:49,780
In every lovely summer's day.
1329
01:29:50,440 --> 01:29:52,020
I'll find you.
1330
01:29:52,880 --> 01:29:54,820
In the morning sun.
1331
01:29:55,660 --> 01:29:59,340
And when the night is through.
1332
01:30:01,820 --> 01:30:05,940
I'll be looking at the moon.
1333
01:30:09,140 --> 01:30:12,100
But I'll be seeing you.
1334
01:30:21,740 --> 01:30:23,221
I'm glad you gave us a second chance.
1335
01:30:23,660 --> 01:30:26,500
And don't worry, Wade and I are a
team, so I'll see you against Africa.
1336
01:30:29,615 --> 01:30:30,880
That feels like a kia.
1337
01:30:31,820 --> 01:30:33,620
A fucking kia carnival's in it.
1338
01:30:35,950 --> 01:30:37,960
Holy shit. That's Deadpool.
1339
01:30:39,500 --> 01:30:40,620
You damn straight it is.
1340
01:30:41,060 --> 01:30:41,700
Fox killed him.
1341
01:30:41,701 --> 01:30:44,621
Disney brought him back. They're
going to make him do this until he's 90.
1342
01:30:46,770 --> 01:30:47,920
I'll clock you out.
1343
01:30:58,820 --> 01:30:59,820
Wakey wakey.
1344
01:31:00,140 --> 01:31:05,280
Now you put all these bullets in my belly.
1345
01:31:06,340 --> 01:31:07,700
And I'm going to find out why.
1346
01:31:08,580 --> 01:31:09,580
Whoa whoa.
1347
01:31:10,220 --> 01:31:11,260
He'll just say it.
1348
01:31:12,240 --> 01:31:14,140
You don't have to stick your fingers in me.
1349
01:31:14,500 --> 01:31:16,440
He's just asked sometimes.
1350
01:31:19,180 --> 01:31:20,180
Really?
1351
01:31:20,620 --> 01:31:21,620
Hands and pockets.
1352
01:31:23,420 --> 01:31:24,440
I named Paradox.
1353
01:31:25,640 --> 01:31:27,120
He said he'd give me out of the void.
1354
01:31:27,280 --> 01:31:28,640
All I know is he works for the TV.
1355
01:31:29,280 --> 01:31:31,100
Jeez. I don't agree with him.
1356
01:31:31,500 --> 01:31:32,800
I don't think this guy cares.
1357
01:31:34,300 --> 01:31:35,300
He will.
1358
01:31:35,960 --> 01:31:39,120
Baby Paul, how much longer
before the time-repper is active?
1359
01:31:39,500 --> 01:31:40,820
We're running the final safety checks.
1360
01:31:40,821 --> 01:31:43,460
Oh, okay. Alright, thanks
for all your hard work, Ralph.
1361
01:31:44,340 --> 01:31:44,660
Really?
1362
01:31:45,240 --> 01:31:47,260
No, you drooling boob. No.
1363
01:31:47,620 --> 01:31:49,460
We have company.
Cancel all the safety checks.
1364
01:31:49,840 --> 01:31:50,940
We need to be live now.
1365
01:31:51,220 --> 01:31:52,800
Oh, I hate you so much.
1366
01:31:55,500 --> 01:31:57,580
Don't fuck this off. You're too late.
1367
01:31:57,920 --> 01:31:58,460
You're fucking done.
1368
01:31:58,680 --> 01:31:59,720
Why was Thor crying?
1369
01:32:00,200 --> 01:32:01,200
How dare you?
1370
01:32:01,480 --> 01:32:02,960
No one comes back from the void.
1371
01:32:03,200 --> 01:32:04,360
Tell that to Cassandra Nolan.
1372
01:32:12,980 --> 01:32:13,540
Whoa.
1373
01:32:13,720 --> 01:32:15,400
Paradox, we have a problem.
1374
01:32:21,980 --> 01:32:24,380
When you are Do-O, then
you looked in Pyro's head.
1375
01:32:24,850 --> 01:32:25,880
You tried to kill me.
1376
01:32:26,180 --> 01:32:27,200
I literally have no one.
1377
01:32:28,180 --> 01:32:29,300
I'm going to kill you.
1378
01:32:29,820 --> 01:32:31,320
You better kill this kid.
1379
01:32:31,900 --> 01:32:34,920
Oh, welcome to the Skullfuck Club, Paradox.
1380
01:32:35,380 --> 01:32:37,420
You know she doesn't wash that ass.
1381
01:32:38,920 --> 01:32:39,920
What's this? The time maker.
1382
01:32:41,600 --> 01:32:42,600
No, dear boy.
1383
01:32:43,160 --> 01:32:43,940
1384
01:32:44,140 --> 01:32:44,920
Oh, no, we're on it.
1385
01:32:45,000 --> 01:32:46,756
We're going to head down
and dismantle that thing now.
1386
01:32:46,780 --> 01:32:48,780
We got you, boo.
You just keep playing those keys.
1387
01:32:49,200 --> 01:32:50,720
I don't want to destroy it.
1388
01:32:51,400 --> 01:32:52,780
I want to use it.
1389
01:32:53,360 --> 01:32:53,720
Now, shoot.
1390
01:32:54,240 --> 01:32:55,920
Mommy and Daddy are having a conversation.
1391
01:33:01,180 --> 01:33:03,660
You know the funny things?
1392
01:33:04,400 --> 01:33:05,600
I was happy in the void.
1393
01:33:07,040 --> 01:33:08,200
You sent no trash to me.
1394
01:33:08,440 --> 01:33:09,660
Why did I clean it up?
1395
01:33:10,460 --> 01:33:11,700
Everyone was happy.
1396
01:33:12,960 --> 01:33:15,560
And you had to go piss
on my side of the fence.
1397
01:33:16,220 --> 01:33:17,880
So now the fence must come down.
1398
01:33:19,020 --> 01:33:20,560
I'm going to use a little time river.
1399
01:33:21,120 --> 01:33:23,020
And I'm going to destroy this universe.
1400
01:33:23,900 --> 01:33:24,500
And the next.
1401
01:33:24,880 --> 01:33:25,880
And the next.
1402
01:33:25,920 --> 01:33:26,520
And the next.
1403
01:33:26,660 --> 01:33:29,680
Until all that's left is the sand.
1404
01:33:30,380 --> 01:33:32,100
And I get to pray God.
1405
01:33:32,900 --> 01:33:33,900
Come here.
1406
01:33:34,220 --> 01:33:37,180
Now, you're going to show me
how to use this fancy gadget of yours.
1407
01:33:37,300 --> 01:33:40,420
And don't worry, I've called some
friends to make sure we're not disturbed.
1408
01:33:43,960 --> 01:33:46,440
Sorry to bother, madam, but
there's something you need to see.
1409
01:33:47,220 --> 01:33:50,980
We're getting indications of an unsanctioned
time river activating on Earth 1005.
1410
01:33:53,360 --> 01:33:54,640
Whose district is that? Paradox.
1411
01:33:55,640 --> 01:33:56,640
1412
01:34:07,830 --> 01:34:09,730
Thank you so much for your help, darling.
1413
01:34:10,320 --> 01:34:12,330
God, good to get out of that head.
1414
01:34:12,750 --> 01:34:14,230
What a mess.
1415
01:34:15,530 --> 01:34:16,530
Oh.
1416
01:34:23,090 --> 01:34:25,290
Let's give it a beat for
the extras to clear it.
1417
01:34:25,630 --> 01:34:26,190
Go, go, go, go.
1418
01:34:26,630 --> 01:34:27,630
Oh my God.
1419
01:34:32,220 --> 01:34:33,220
Oh.
1420
01:34:33,380 --> 01:34:34,380
My.
1421
01:35:08,850 --> 01:35:09,670
God.
1422
01:35:09,671 --> 01:35:12,050
We need to be apart.
1423
01:35:12,510 --> 01:35:13,510
Ever, ever again.
1424
01:35:14,030 --> 01:35:15,130
Ever, ever again.
1425
01:35:16,230 --> 01:35:18,790
What's Cafe Gratitude doing here?
1426
01:35:18,990 --> 01:35:19,990
Sorry about that.
1427
01:35:22,630 --> 01:35:24,490
Come here, girl.
1428
01:35:24,590 --> 01:35:25,190
Papa's here.
1429
01:35:25,430 --> 01:35:27,530
Hey, do not insult this animal's autonomy.
1430
01:35:28,370 --> 01:35:30,130
She can decide who her papa is.
1431
01:35:30,650 --> 01:35:31,866
What's it going to be, girl, huh?
1432
01:35:31,890 --> 01:35:32,890
Original recipe?
1433
01:35:33,140 --> 01:35:34,270
Or van milder here?
1434
01:35:34,590 --> 01:35:35,590
Ah, that's funny.
1435
01:35:36,050 --> 01:35:37,750
I can gently tap the fourth wall, too.
1436
01:35:38,350 --> 01:35:39,350
The proposal.
1437
01:35:41,230 --> 01:35:42,230
The fuck was that?
1438
01:35:42,535 --> 01:35:43,896
Bitch, you think that's
what I do? Oh, shut up.
1439
01:35:43,930 --> 01:35:44,930
1440
01:35:46,070 --> 01:35:47,070
You smell something? Yeah, you.
1441
01:35:47,330 --> 01:35:48,330
A lot of you.
1442
01:35:49,090 --> 01:35:50,090
1443
01:36:05,480 --> 01:36:07,520
I told you there are a lot
of deadpools over there.
1444
01:36:43,220 --> 01:36:44,460
I take it they're not friendly.
1445
01:36:44,500 --> 01:36:45,500
Goodness, no.
1446
01:36:45,600 --> 01:36:46,600
Sorry about this, boys.
1447
01:36:46,660 --> 01:36:47,660
Mission over.
1448
01:36:47,780 --> 01:36:50,360
Cause of death, 100,
kill thirsty deadpools.
1449
01:36:50,600 --> 01:36:52,400
They're dumb, but they can fight.
1450
01:36:52,820 --> 01:36:53,400
Not me, though.
1451
01:36:53,690 --> 01:36:55,931
I'd love to get in the mix,
but I have low bone density.
1452
01:36:56,130 --> 01:36:57,420
And I have to keep my face safe.
1453
01:36:58,500 --> 01:36:59,080
Hold, please.
1454
01:36:59,440 --> 01:36:59,800
Oh, God.
1455
01:36:59,820 --> 01:37:00,820
All right, look.
1456
01:37:01,700 --> 01:37:02,700
Guys.
1457
01:37:03,940 --> 01:37:05,040
Deadpool Prime here.
1458
01:37:05,865 --> 01:37:07,120
Our fight isn't with you.
1459
01:37:07,310 --> 01:37:10,960
When I want your opinion, I'll take
Wolverine's dick out of your mouth.
1460
01:37:11,140 --> 01:37:11,840
That's Kidpool.
1461
01:37:11,940 --> 01:37:12,620
She's the dirtiest.
1462
01:37:12,860 --> 01:37:13,860
Can we just be done?
1463
01:37:14,040 --> 01:37:15,740
Ooh, we're just getting started.
1464
01:37:15,980 --> 01:37:16,620
No, no, no, no, no.
1465
01:37:16,740 --> 01:37:18,920
With the whole multiverse thing.
1466
01:37:20,240 --> 01:37:21,240
It's not great.
1467
01:37:21,700 --> 01:37:26,300
It's just been miss,
after miss, after miss.
1468
01:37:27,200 --> 01:37:29,340
Look, the Wizard of Oz
did the multiverse first.
1469
01:37:29,500 --> 01:37:30,340
And they did it fast.
1470
01:37:30,500 --> 01:37:31,500
The gays knew it.
1471
01:37:32,180 --> 01:37:33,180
Well, we didn't listen.
1472
01:37:33,660 --> 01:37:36,220
Let's just take the L and move on.
1473
01:37:36,740 --> 01:37:39,100
I think it's been steadily
great since Endgame.
1474
01:37:39,320 --> 01:37:40,600
What are you talking about?
1475
01:37:40,780 --> 01:37:42,200
The multiverse is over.
1476
01:37:42,580 --> 01:37:44,760
Sandy gonna destroy
the fuck outta every time.
1477
01:37:45,320 --> 01:37:47,000
Y'all can't do shit about it.
1478
01:37:47,020 --> 01:37:47,720
Do you not get it?
1479
01:37:48,000 --> 01:37:50,361
If we don't go down to the
subway and stop her, we all die.
1480
01:37:50,440 --> 01:37:52,440
The boss lady don't want no disturbance.
1481
01:37:52,740 --> 01:37:55,360
If you wanna get down to the
subway, you gotta go through what?
1482
01:37:55,820 --> 01:37:56,820
Losing time, baby.
1483
01:37:57,040 --> 01:37:58,040
Losing time, baby.
1484
01:37:58,120 --> 01:37:59,120
Look alive.
1485
01:38:08,230 --> 01:38:09,230
I think I'm hit.
1486
01:38:09,750 --> 01:38:11,170
No shit. You did that on purpose.
1487
01:38:11,610 --> 01:38:12,610
I did no such thing.
1488
01:38:12,910 --> 01:38:13,910
Listen to me, gorgeous.
1489
01:38:14,110 --> 01:38:15,870
How long does it take
for you to regenerate?
1490
01:38:16,170 --> 01:38:17,170
Regenerate?
1491
01:38:22,630 --> 01:38:25,150
You really are God's perfect
idiot, aren't you? Okay.
1492
01:38:25,210 --> 01:38:28,410
How dare you, you
insensitive son of a bitch.
1493
01:38:28,690 --> 01:38:30,651
How was I supposed to
know he doesn't regenerate?
1494
01:38:30,830 --> 01:38:31,830
I'm not a medicine woman.
1495
01:38:32,380 --> 01:38:34,810
Look, a donut cart.
They're practically hospitals.
1496
01:38:35,170 --> 01:38:36,590
They sell portable triage units.
1497
01:38:36,710 --> 01:38:36,950
I know.
1498
01:38:37,090 --> 01:38:38,210
I'm gonna get you to safety.
1499
01:38:38,250 --> 01:38:39,250
He's a deep breath.
1500
01:38:48,100 --> 01:38:50,120
Hey, where are we stopping?
1501
01:38:50,520 --> 01:38:51,620
Just catching my breath.
1502
01:38:51,920 --> 01:38:53,040
Put your legs on vacation?
1503
01:38:53,700 --> 01:38:54,700
You're dead late.
1504
01:38:54,740 --> 01:38:55,900
Just because I'm paralyzed.
1505
01:38:56,280 --> 01:38:58,180
We all have problems. Listen to me.
1506
01:38:58,860 --> 01:38:59,860
You're gonna live.
1507
01:39:00,660 --> 01:39:01,660
Okay, be nice.
1508
01:39:05,850 --> 01:39:06,850
You're gonna live.
1509
01:39:07,730 --> 01:39:08,730
Say it.
1510
01:39:09,550 --> 01:39:10,550
I'm gonna live.
1511
01:39:10,950 --> 01:39:12,610
Stay with me.
1512
01:39:12,611 --> 01:39:13,650
You're gonna live.
1513
01:39:13,910 --> 01:39:14,910
I'm gonna live.
1514
01:39:15,630 --> 01:39:16,890
I'm gonna live.
1515
01:39:16,891 --> 01:39:18,570
Stay in the water.
1516
01:39:32,250 --> 01:39:33,340
Sweet little puppy.
1517
01:39:44,260 --> 01:39:45,540
God damn it.
1518
01:39:45,700 --> 01:39:47,020
I don't think he's gonna make it.
1519
01:39:47,580 --> 01:39:48,920
God, he loved his face.
1520
01:39:49,680 --> 01:39:51,500
I can taste his final thought.
1521
01:39:52,060 --> 01:39:53,060
He was so afraid.
1522
01:39:53,660 --> 01:39:54,660
But he died a hero.
1523
01:39:54,980 --> 01:39:56,760
He died for murder, you dumb fuck.
1524
01:39:56,761 --> 01:39:58,760
And all I have to remember is why...
1525
01:39:59,640 --> 01:40:03,300
Are these two gold kite and 50
caliber desert eagle pistol arrows?
1526
01:40:03,760 --> 01:40:04,760
This is for him.
1527
01:40:05,280 --> 01:40:06,280
Are you ready?
1528
01:40:07,210 --> 01:40:08,520
I get to kill a hundred ewes.
1529
01:40:09,100 --> 01:40:10,100
Fuck you, I'm ready.
1530
01:40:11,280 --> 01:40:12,600
You don't wanna say this, bro.
1531
01:40:12,800 --> 01:40:13,800
That's a good girl.
1532
01:40:26,760 --> 01:40:31,420
I hear you call my name.
1533
01:40:31,940 --> 01:40:35,760
And it feels like...
1534
01:40:50,280 --> 01:40:51,800
Holy shit!
1535
01:40:52,520 --> 01:40:54,400
You saved the good stuff for
special occasions? Killing mostly.
1536
01:40:54,840 --> 01:40:55,840
1537
01:40:56,280 --> 01:40:58,460
What's the wind resistance
on those blowjob hiccups?
1538
01:40:59,720 --> 01:41:02,620
Sorry, just a cat
adventure and I'm jealous.
1539
01:41:03,280 --> 01:41:04,280
Alright, let's do this.
1540
01:41:04,960 --> 01:41:05,960
Maximum effort.
1541
01:42:52,580 --> 01:42:53,780
Come on.
1542
01:42:54,340 --> 01:42:55,340
I blew it.
1543
01:42:55,780 --> 01:42:59,160
After all that, the only thing you're gonna
remember is that God awful dismount.
1544
01:43:04,490 --> 01:43:06,051
What's your laughing at, little fucker?
1545
01:43:12,580 --> 01:43:14,000
I guess these ones regenerate.
1546
01:43:16,520 --> 01:43:18,580
I have time for this.
1547
01:43:20,220 --> 01:43:21,240
And now!
1548
01:43:31,380 --> 01:43:33,220
This Deadpool's with me.
1549
01:43:33,440 --> 01:43:34,440
Oh no.
1550
01:43:34,880 --> 01:43:35,640
Holy shit.
1551
01:43:35,860 --> 01:43:36,900
That's fucking Peter!
1552
01:43:40,500 --> 01:43:42,100
Wait, you guys know Peter?
1553
01:43:42,540 --> 01:43:44,580
You kidding me? Every Deadpool has a Peter.
1554
01:43:45,360 --> 01:43:48,260
Peter's a goddamn legend
in every Deadpool world.
1555
01:43:48,700 --> 01:43:49,700
Give me some.
1556
01:43:55,240 --> 01:43:56,700
Get him, Peter!
1557
01:44:05,880 --> 01:44:07,100
Come on, Peter!
1558
01:44:34,990 --> 01:44:36,130
Oh, now you're here! Oh well.
1559
01:44:36,310 --> 01:44:37,910
You're too late. It's all over.
1560
01:44:38,010 --> 01:44:38,730
Not yet, it's not.
1561
01:44:38,870 --> 01:44:40,270
Well, no, no, no, we're very close.
1562
01:44:40,730 --> 01:44:41,850
Homestretch, folks, promise.
1563
01:44:42,210 --> 01:44:43,430
Quick, let's have the stakes.
1564
01:44:43,890 --> 01:44:47,810
If she steals the time SB has the
power to shred the fabric of all realities,
1565
01:44:47,950 --> 01:44:49,390
until there is nothing left but the void.
1566
01:44:49,391 --> 01:44:51,550
How do we shut it down? I don't know.
1567
01:44:54,350 --> 01:44:58,570
The mask is really intimidating. It's like
Batman except he can move his neck.
1568
01:45:01,710 --> 01:45:05,007
The Ripper is fed from a secured
chamber below ground. It is powered
1569
01:45:05,019 --> 01:45:08,230
by twin matter and anti-matter
feeds converging inside the device.
1570
01:45:08,470 --> 01:45:10,821
Now Cassandra Nova is
redirecting the Ripper's power
1571
01:45:10,833 --> 01:45:13,150
to eliminate all timelines,
starting with this one.
1572
01:45:13,430 --> 01:45:14,789
Theoretically, you
could stop her by
1573
01:45:14,801 --> 01:45:16,630
short-circuiting the feeds
in the chamber below.
1574
01:45:16,631 --> 01:45:19,423
One of you would agree
that certainly between the two
1575
01:45:19,435 --> 01:45:22,450
feeds, then the released power
would destroy the machine.
1576
01:45:22,770 --> 01:45:26,350
But, well, come on! Man, if
you're not gonna swallow, spit it out!
1577
01:45:26,750 --> 01:45:30,730
Well formed, the bridge would
be annihilated. I could live with that.
1578
01:45:30,750 --> 01:45:32,212
Yeah, I could live
with that too actually.
1579
01:45:32,224 --> 01:45:33,826
You know, we survive
anything. We're like cockroaches.
1580
01:45:33,850 --> 01:45:36,887
Not this time. This is
matter and anti-matter.
1581
01:45:36,899 --> 01:45:39,550
They do not play
nicely with each other.
1582
01:45:39,630 --> 01:45:42,275
When they mix in your
body, you will be atomized.
1583
01:45:42,287 --> 01:45:44,890
Trust the laws of physics
if you don't trust me.
1584
01:45:44,891 --> 01:45:49,510
Even if you live long enough to make
the circuit, you will die down there.
1585
01:46:15,170 --> 01:46:19,870
Hold on, Paul. You heard that
asshole upstairs. Even if we pull this off.
1586
01:46:23,220 --> 01:46:24,360
That's why it's gotta be me.
1587
01:46:24,780 --> 01:46:25,780
What?
1588
01:46:31,770 --> 01:46:35,639
You didn't ask for any
of this. You were right.
1589
01:46:35,651 --> 01:46:39,770
I lied right to your face.
Just to get you to help me.
1590
01:46:39,930 --> 01:46:45,870
You did. You didn't lie.
You made an educated wish.
1591
01:46:45,871 --> 01:46:53,090
You got a whole world to go back to.
1592
01:47:11,880 --> 01:47:12,880
Hey.
1593
01:47:17,510 --> 01:47:19,850
I waited a long time for this team up.
1594
01:47:21,930 --> 01:47:22,930
You know something?
1595
01:47:24,750 --> 01:47:26,210
You're the best Wolverine.
1596
01:47:35,350 --> 01:47:36,990
Say hi to your friends for me.
1597
01:47:43,110 --> 01:47:51,110
Open the door!
1598
01:47:51,350 --> 01:47:53,990
I can't hear you over
all the noble sacrifice!
1599
01:47:53,991 --> 01:47:55,690
Why are you fucking
doing this? Because I'm.
1600
01:47:56,210 --> 01:47:58,490
.. normal Jesus.
1601
01:48:00,790 --> 01:48:01,790
Where's Bob?
1602
01:48:02,850 --> 01:48:03,850
Aren't you sad?
1603
01:48:16,770 --> 01:48:20,570
Sorry, I'm just stalling.
I think I'm nervous about dying.
1604
01:48:21,610 --> 01:48:22,610
This should be me.
1605
01:48:23,330 --> 01:48:25,030
Say hi to my friends for me, Peanut.
1606
01:48:25,031 --> 01:48:27,530
Why? You want to be an annoying prick?
1607
01:48:27,870 --> 01:48:29,490
Put this on! You're gonna die again!
1608
01:48:29,730 --> 01:48:31,610
You're gonna die again!
You're gonna die again!
1609
01:48:39,560 --> 01:48:41,960
I'm not doing it because I need it.
1610
01:48:42,340 --> 01:48:43,960
I'm doing it because they do.
1611
01:50:40,480 --> 01:50:48,480
Is he a hero in my world?
1612
01:50:51,080 --> 01:50:53,120
Wherever you think I
am, you got the wrong guy.
1613
01:50:55,200 --> 01:50:56,400
You were always the wrong guy.
1614
01:50:58,220 --> 01:50:59,300
Until you weren't.
1615
01:51:02,240 --> 01:51:03,240
Wait.
1616
01:51:08,940 --> 01:51:09,940
Matter.
1617
01:51:36,870 --> 01:51:41,660
And where is he?
1618
01:51:42,780 --> 01:51:44,040
Now I need some help.
1619
01:52:36,280 --> 01:52:37,280
You've been busy.
1620
01:52:37,900 --> 01:52:38,900
Well, somebody has been.
1621
01:52:39,020 --> 01:52:40,941
We had some strange
readings from this location.
1622
01:52:41,320 --> 01:52:44,160
You wouldn't know anything about an
unsanctioned time river, would you? Uh, no.
1623
01:52:44,800 --> 01:52:48,100
No, I wouldn't know anything
about an unsanctioned time river.
1624
01:52:48,480 --> 01:52:50,724
Maybe you should ask
Cassandra Nova, because I
1625
01:52:50,736 --> 01:52:53,140
was assured that she
was safely held in the void.
1626
01:52:53,340 --> 01:52:55,800
But no, she was here,
and she fondled my brain.
1627
01:52:56,140 --> 01:52:56,940
How did you let this happen?
1628
01:52:57,120 --> 01:52:58,156
You weren't involved at all.
1629
01:52:58,180 --> 01:53:00,180
In stopping her? Yes! Yes, I was!
1630
01:53:00,880 --> 01:53:01,880
But not nearly enough.
1631
01:53:02,620 --> 01:53:04,740
Not as much as the men
who went down there after her.
1632
01:53:05,530 --> 01:53:07,720
My men. My friends.
1633
01:53:09,460 --> 01:53:12,640
I warned them that they would be
completely obliterated if they went.
1634
01:53:12,740 --> 01:53:16,300
But they went anyway.
Like... Like heroes.
1635
01:53:18,780 --> 01:53:20,340
Because that's who they were.
1636
01:53:23,180 --> 01:53:24,820
They just did what they had to do.
1637
01:53:26,260 --> 01:53:27,740
With no concern but their own safety.
1638
01:53:31,000 --> 01:53:37,420
The fact that we are all still standing
here is a testament to their heroism.
1639
01:53:45,660 --> 01:53:47,640
He has risen, baby
girl! Fuck! And I've.
1640
01:53:47,880 --> 01:53:48,100
1641
01:53:48,740 --> 01:53:49,740
..
1642
01:54:07,700 --> 01:54:09,200
Found your new anchor gang.
1643
01:54:09,480 --> 01:54:11,620
And we're doing just
fine, you piece of shit.
1644
01:54:13,700 --> 01:54:14,780
Fine indeed.
1645
01:54:15,320 --> 01:54:19,000
Alright, put your greasy
tits away, you preening slut.
1646
01:54:20,140 --> 01:54:20,680
I don't understand.
1647
01:54:20,681 --> 01:54:22,560
How are you two still
alive? You were right.
1648
01:54:23,120 --> 01:54:25,080
One of us would
have been killed.
1649
01:54:25,450 --> 01:54:27,900
But you put a Deadpool
and a Wolverine together?
1650
01:54:28,385 --> 01:54:30,305
Make them hold hands
while listening to Madonna?
1651
01:54:31,860 --> 01:54:32,980
Indestructible motherfucker.
1652
01:54:33,220 --> 01:54:35,220
Let's get this Deadpool
variant back to the void.
1653
01:54:35,540 --> 01:54:36,540
Wait, hold on, what?
1654
01:54:36,600 --> 01:54:40,000
No, actually, this one's home grown.
Like me. He belongs here.
1655
01:54:41,060 --> 01:54:41,600
And you are? Peter Poole.
1656
01:54:41,950 --> 01:54:44,080
But you can call me Peter.
1657
01:54:46,080 --> 01:54:47,080
And I hope that you do.
1658
01:54:53,655 --> 01:54:55,200
What the fuck is happening here?
1659
01:54:55,540 --> 01:54:56,640
You are under judgment.
1660
01:54:57,320 --> 01:54:59,380
Operating an unsectioned time river.
Take it.
1661
01:54:59,381 --> 01:55:01,920
I was just doing what you
don't have the guts to do.
1662
01:55:02,100 --> 01:55:03,100
Get off! Get off!
1663
01:55:03,600 --> 01:55:04,600
Get off!
1664
01:55:06,660 --> 01:55:08,220
I'm grateful, gentlemen.
1665
01:55:09,480 --> 01:55:10,480
Let's hold the bowels.
1666
01:55:10,850 --> 01:55:13,140
You led an Omega level
mutant to this timeline.
1667
01:55:13,480 --> 01:55:13,720
You're welcome.
1668
01:55:14,400 --> 01:55:16,500
And you shouldn't even
be near this timeline.
1669
01:55:16,700 --> 01:55:16,920
It's welcome.
1670
01:55:17,320 --> 01:55:20,380
And you look damn good in that suit.
1671
01:55:20,381 --> 01:55:21,381
I'm so sorry.
1672
01:55:26,320 --> 01:55:29,500
I want to show you something.
Something huge.
1673
01:55:30,020 --> 01:55:31,840
That's what Scoutmaster Kevin used to say.
1674
01:55:33,430 --> 01:55:36,740
Do you see that?
Your universe is regenerating.
1675
01:55:37,910 --> 01:55:41,260
Whatever you did here, you
not only saved your world,
1676
01:55:42,070 --> 01:55:44,060
you spared your timeline from extinction.
1677
01:55:46,340 --> 01:55:47,340
I'd rest out.
1678
01:55:47,880 --> 01:55:49,840
I have a feeling your work
is only just getting started.
1679
01:55:49,841 --> 01:55:51,700
Till you're 90.
1680
01:55:53,960 --> 01:55:56,680
We couldn't have made it out
of the void without some help
1681
01:55:57,840 --> 01:56:01,420
from some people that
the world kind of forgot.
1682
01:56:02,305 --> 01:56:05,500
Is there any way that you could
maybe find a way to bring them home?
1683
01:56:07,770 --> 01:56:08,780
I'll see what I can do.
1684
01:56:09,130 --> 01:56:12,160
And I promised my friend
here that the TVA could
1685
01:56:12,172 --> 01:56:14,960
undo some pretty
awful shit in his timeline.
1686
01:56:15,440 --> 01:56:16,520
What would you say to that?
1687
01:56:16,740 --> 01:56:17,740
Change the past.
1688
01:56:18,400 --> 01:56:20,140
He did help me save the world.
1689
01:56:20,880 --> 01:56:23,000
And his past made of the man who did it.
1690
01:56:24,240 --> 01:56:26,360
There's nothing to fix, Mr. Olson.
1691
01:56:28,100 --> 01:56:29,100
Love him.
1692
01:56:32,840 --> 01:56:34,100
Tworml? I get to eat now.
1693
01:56:43,680 --> 01:56:45,820
You know the Avengers discovered Tworml.
1694
01:56:47,040 --> 01:56:48,680
I'd be lucky to have you.
1695
01:56:56,380 --> 01:56:57,380
Oh.
1696
01:56:58,460 --> 01:56:59,460
Fuck off!
1697
01:57:00,770 --> 01:57:02,120
Come on, man, my little conchkin!
1698
01:57:02,540 --> 01:57:04,860
Yes, it's you! You're a survivor!
1699
01:57:06,850 --> 01:57:08,320
Oh, all is right in the world.
1700
01:57:09,880 --> 01:57:10,880
Yes, it is.
1701
01:57:12,830 --> 01:57:14,151
So what are you going to do next?
1702
01:57:15,470 --> 01:57:17,280
I'll figure it out. I always do.
1703
01:57:19,320 --> 01:57:21,180
Well, probably see you next time.
1704
01:57:21,181 --> 01:57:22,181
See you around.
1705
01:57:31,010 --> 01:57:32,010
See you both.
1706
01:57:41,540 --> 01:57:42,540
Logan!
1707
01:57:52,160 --> 01:57:54,866
Jack! You holdin'?
I'm all out of devil's
1708
01:57:54,878 --> 01:57:58,060
danger, but I'm shakin'
like an angry vibration.
1709
01:57:58,260 --> 01:58:01,900
Thank you, Hal. We have company.
Althea. This is...
1710
01:58:02,720 --> 01:58:03,720
This is Logan.
1711
01:58:04,220 --> 01:58:05,360
Nice to meet you, Logan.
1712
01:58:05,620 --> 01:58:06,320
Nice to meet you, too.
1713
01:58:06,321 --> 01:58:09,760
And this little ancient anal
shit, not as Mary Poppins.
1714
01:58:10,140 --> 01:58:11,920
Or as I like to call her, dog pool.
1715
01:58:12,640 --> 01:58:14,240
Don't treat yourself to a little stroke.
1716
01:58:15,660 --> 01:58:16,660
Get in the tub.
1717
01:58:17,240 --> 01:58:18,460
Oh my god, motherfucker!
1718
01:58:19,160 --> 01:58:21,340
It's like an armadillo fucked a gremlin.
1719
01:58:21,980 --> 01:58:22,400
Angrily.
1720
01:58:23,000 --> 01:58:24,040
In a bed of gonorrhea.
1721
01:58:24,620 --> 01:58:26,400
And didn't stop till the sun came up.
1722
01:58:28,280 --> 01:58:29,560
Everyone wants to know.
1723
01:58:30,580 --> 01:58:32,980
Turns out that you don't need
to be Marvel, Jesus, to do it.
1724
01:58:33,920 --> 01:58:35,980
You just need to open
your eyes and move around.
1725
01:58:36,720 --> 01:58:37,720
And good luck.
1726
01:58:40,840 --> 01:58:41,840
Old friends.
1727
01:58:43,240 --> 01:58:44,780
And some new ones, too.
1728
01:59:00,530 --> 01:59:07,460
You've been busy.
1729
01:59:10,140 --> 01:59:11,760
I did it for you.
1730
01:59:26,580 --> 01:59:29,200
Turns out, I am the world's saving type.
1731
01:59:30,020 --> 01:59:31,880
Just look around this
table if you want proof.
1732
01:59:33,220 --> 01:59:34,220
The best part?
1733
01:59:34,780 --> 01:59:36,920
Sometimes the people we save...
1734
01:59:37,820 --> 01:59:39,080
they save us right back.
1734
01:59:40,305 --> 02:00:40,344
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