Original subtitles

[Music]

where is Alison you're gonna be late for

pain relax Erin the restaurants right

around the corner plenty of time Lee you

have to go home and change first take

the blue dress from my closet oh and my

yellow sweater what is wrong with what

I'm wearing they're going on a date your

first date since you broke up with that

don't say it

He Who Shall Not Be Named thank you I

just think you should look like you're

at least trying this is so exciting

why aren't you more excited because it's

my first date since I broke up with him

I'm just trying to keep expectations hi

ladies sorry I'm late I was stuck on a

call with advertising just explaining

that the Richards record is a serious

hard-hitting online news magazine that

deserves respect but I am here now and

my full attention is on my top two

editors so they can pitch me new ideas

for the next edition of bad date

chronicles the foodie country black

hard-hitting news magazine softer more

human edge what have you got

[Music]

okay all I'm saying is I think you're

overdressed it's our first day exactly

you're setting the bar way too high with

Brad she knows on the styles and trends

editor for the Peters post I have to

look good okay I can't show up wearing

ratty jeans and a t-shirt hey I look

good yet for the editor of the sports

blogger Brad my two favorite editors say

that's all your editors mom you have

with you to actually mean it just don't

tell that the season of the newsdesk

might break your heart hey Milo don't

you think that Connor is a bit

overdressed for a first date no is the

style guy yes looks Tosh otherwise he's

the sports guy hey I still think you're

gonna regret wearing those nice clothes

think fast dude I've got an extra pair

of pants in the car I will be right back

and if you don't like those I also have

two really good submissions for this

week's bad day chronicles one is from

Becky whose date brought his mother the

second is Steve forgot to put his car in

park and it rolled into the lake

car on the lake that'll make better

headlines that is so depressing do you

know we need a true love blog to balance

out your bad date chronicles true love

we don't do fiction at the Richard's

record besides nobody wants to read

about happy people happy people don't

get page views she's right Aaron not

many people are into hearts and flowers

anymore that's a girl going on a date

tonight a date well I should really let

you get going so you can go change see

she's got a date with the stylin trends

editor Aaron over at the Peters Post

Peters Post do not get me started about

Milo Peters no no I'm not going on a day

like this why not

because I look like a roadie for a hair

metal band well maybe she likes music

Connor why don't you just go home and

change

I can't I'm already running late the

restaurants all the way across town my

phone got coffee too it's flickering on

and off sorry dude season one the desk

can't her name's in my contacts why

don't you just explain it to her when

you get there you probably have a good

laugh over it hey Brad she edits a blog

called the bad day Chronicles okay so if

I show up looking like this I end up on

the front page the bad date coracles

yeah do not get me started about Alison

Richards

you know who Milo Peter stole his entire

idea from don't you you me I hired him I

trained him I was his mentor he turns

around stabs me in the back and starts

the ridiculous Peter's post she still

tells people I stole an idea for the

Peters post like doing an online

magazine some brilliant idea no one's

ever thought of before I'm so late

do not give this woman any ammunition

for a bad day Chronicles please any more

ammunition yep thanks boss feel better

already do not reveal any of our

company's secrets but get him to reveal

his is it too late to get out of this

date stop it'll be fine

you won't end up on the bad day

Chronicles

[Music]

what happened we're never going to

believe this first he was late really

late and he didn't call you know I was

just getting ready to leave when he

rushes up hey sorry look my car wouldn't

start so I had to get a cab and race

over here I thought he was a sigh

lighted her he said something about

coffee and switching clothes with his

friend and that he tried to call me but

it's only work for me Julian called

Julian Peters post didn't make a

reservation apparently not

we had to wait at the bar for 45 minutes

why don't you go someplace else because

he said it was the hottest restaurant in

town Oh typical trans editor once we got

to the table things were okay because

alright Lester I start with things going

okay you know what I mean I didn't feel

any butterflies but he was charming and

smart it was going fine and then

Maitre D' hooked me up love it oh man

this is this is the best try this he set

you on fire

sorry in his defense he did go quickly

mm-hmm look at it this way at least you

can say you felt a spark yeah it's

almost super fire joke sorry especially

because I'm not even finish the story

yet don't tell me it gets worse he left

at first I thought he was in the

bathroom or maybe making the call on his

broken bone but he never came back so no

yes I had to pay the whole bit you are

gonna make him reimburse you reimburse

us no I just want to dry off accept the

fact that I'm never going on a date

again and eat my body weight in ice

cream I will admit this was not a great

re-entry into the dating pool but on the

other hand maybe this is an improvement

for you

the worst human who ever lived thank you

how awful is it that being set on fire

is actually better than my last serious

relationship well at least now you have

your own bad date Chronicle and aren't

just editing other people's I am not

putting this on the site yeah you are

you're gonna crush every other bad date

ever it's not competition airing it

should be hey buddy

that was the big day was a disaster why

well I couldn't get my car to start so I

had to take a cab and race over there

Julian restaurant critic said he would

get me a reservation at El tempo and he

didn't Julian so we were at the bar for

like half an hour why don't you just go

somewhere else because I didn't have my

car and I wasn't gonna ask her to drive

and besides once we started talking she

was smart and funny

it wasn't bad when you're telling your

buddy about the hot date you went on the

night before you probably shouldn't

include the phrase it wasn't bad yeah

we're definitely not Harvard oh man this

is this is the best you got try this she

set herself on fire I'm totally freaking

out I'm convinced that this woman is

gonna press charges against me or

something

so I go to get her some paper towels and

splash some water on my face

you know that waiter probably would

brighten up the picture shut up

anyway managed not to hyperventilate you

got locked in the bathroom then by the

time I got how she was going and make

things worse she pay me oh that's bad

and I wanted to try to call her to

explain everything that happened but my

phone still isn't working so I just

crashed and figured I'd deal with it in

the morning

corner trying to call you for an hour

you guys see this everyone's looking for

you

why because of how your date went last

night how do you know how my date was

the whole world knows how your date went

last night Reid you showed up an hour

late looking like you're just gonna

playing video games in his mother's

basement now we get calls from websites

TV stations newspapers you've gone viral

dudes you didn't even use my name I mean

how my date with Conrad a lifestyle

trends that are for an online magazine

and it wasn't hard to crack the code

guys what do I do

change your name move to another state I

have to try to talk to her you know

convince her to take it down post a

retraction or something excellent idea

yes do that where are you going with you

you were late for dinner and she sent

herself about a fire to see what she's

doing for

[Music]

Connor you have a lot of nerve he's got

a lot of nerve she's one making up stuff

about their dates and broadcasting it to

the world for you his friend Brad who

are you I'm her friend Aaron what does

he mean I made stuff up what you wrote

on your site that didn't happen I was

there I was the one on fire remember

yeah and I feel terrible about that but

there were extenuating circumstances

look I didn't use your name yeah but

everyone knows it's me I mean this could

affect my job my life my mother called

me all the way from Ohio asking what she

had done wrong to make me turn out like

this

really yeah I'm sorry I don't be sorry

mrs. Foley it is not his fault you

haven't heard his side of it yet well he

has a cold on the Peters post maybe you

should go see if the truth is trending

oh no I don't you will maybe it was

O'Connor it is time to fight fire the

fire see what I did there

funny very funny we'll just see who has

the last laugh

[Music]

put something in there but how would you

do is think about herself oh I can't

believe he made me wait oh I'm on fire

I'm not gonna say that and he didn't

call to explain what had happened maybe

he can't get good cell service in his

mother's basement uh perhaps if she

hadn't even time to listen to my side we

would have a fun story to laugh about

later but instead she jumped to

conclusions so she would have a good

story for her blog yeah that's that's

good more that

[Music]

stop hitting refresh well hulls were

gonna go Kiko something I think refresh

oh he did not call you self-absorbed the

handle came off the bathroom door well I

didn't know that jump to conclusions

well he has a point I guess no he

doesn't he's the bad guy what he sayings

true there is no bad guy you have to

write a rebuttal okay I'm putting it

into this right now

[Music]

hey um I'll see you guys later hi hey

sorry to barge in unannounced no no no

that's okay how'd you get back

the receptionist read both our columns

she's taking my side okay got it wants

it

sure okay listen I read your post you

were actually a lot nice about the whole

thing than I thought you would be I mean

I called you self-absorbed and clueless

I called you vain and I wanted to

apologize for jumping to conclusions I

should have let you explain that's okay

you know and I wanted to apologize for

well everything apology accepted

great truce truce okay so I'm gonna go

back to chronicling other people's bad

days and we'll go back to writing about

the latest trendy topic that everyone

will forget about by tomorrow afternoon

and we can both just forget this ever

happened

sounds like a plan to me okay well I

better go okay thanks for stopping by

yeah

[Music]

Hey how'd it go he was fine we made

peace well you're a much better person

than I am because I'm still ready for

war nobody messes with my friends

I've been responding to comments on his

post for hours just to work out some

aggression just let it go by can you Ken

you're right

absolutely right

you've already open the laptop again on

you yeah someone's like this bad date

Chronicle girl needs to go on a date

with a real man I guess I can't expect

more from someone with a screen name of

muscle man 1988 but maybe if you got out

of the gym every now and then you'd be

able to deal with real women instead of

just clothes signed brief an 86

[Music]

in private chat

okay single star 487 what do you want to

save me

foodie fan 88 I couldn't agree more

men like muscle man 1988 give man a bad

name yes I'm a fan of food - what's your

favorite Italian Mexican Chinese all of

the above

[Music]

Allisyn Richards still answering your

own phone hi Alison

trying to prove you're a woman of the

people my love Peters how are things

going over at that little blog of yours

looks so little anymore

one of our posts just hit 15 million

views really I didn't know that many

people in your target audience could

read apparently about a million more

than yours seems people are siding with

my friends guy over your bad date woman

no accounting for taste

same old Alison beautiful but ruthless

same old Milo the woman really fall for

that kind of line you did once we went

on one date and it was horrible it

wasn't that bad I have had surgeries

less painful is there something I can do

for you Milo actually I was thinking we

can help each other I'm listening

it's obvious these posts are connecting

people and I'm not gonna lie 15 million

views is the biggest thing we've ever

seen and I'm guessing 14 million is for

you to they can either confirm or deny

that you just did so it seems it's in

our mutual best interest to try and keep

this thing going

what did you have in mind you want me to

what go out with them again like a

do-over a do-over

okay come on let me get this straight

you my boss want me your employee to go

out with a girl for work I'm not asking

you to marry her just go out for dinner

with her once or twice wait woman twice

let's make it three times you want me to

go on three dates with you we look at it

like public service your dates help our

readers good or bad yes then you both

write your respective columns you want

me to review my date however it turns

out good or bad besides Connor this is

the kind of thing that can make your

career I mean come on this styles and

trends this is definitely trending we're

talking national attention here you

don't want to be editing the bad day

Chronicles for the rest of your life do

you I want to be a news editor serious

content I don't see how this gets me any

closer to that look you just happen to

be talking to somebody hires editors

she's expecting your call

he'll call you

thank you

[Music]

you are not going to believe this

believe it are you gonna do it I don't

know if I have a choice she can't make

you got in a date with him three dates

and yes she can she's our boss I mean

obviously it loved my career to be

bigger but I don't know if this is the

way I want it to happen maybe it won't

be so bad I mean you said you kind of

made up with it right I only went over

there because I was humans I never have

to see him again you are such a creature

of habit

same coffee shop the same time and I'm

guessing same coffee yep I don't come

here every day Alison I worked with you

for over two years you think there isn't

a single thing I don't know about you

what do you want my love well it's just

checking in seen you if you're ready for

a big date tonight oh not tonight

let me guess you forgot all about it

totally slipped my mind

well maybe we need to make this a little

bit more interesting for you then go on

I'm thinking a little wager whoever gets

the most post views wins wins what $1

times a little tough over Peters toast

it's symbolic because I think losing

will drive you crazy no matter what it

is okay you're on no interference what

do you mean well it's in our interest

with these states to go poorly but

whatever happens happens we stay out of

it

deal so do you know where they're going

tonight mmm it's a do-over date so I

believe they're heading back to the

scene of the crime it'll tempo and whose

idea was that

you know I like my dollar bill to have

nice crisp sharp corners

visit thank you enjoy your coffee I will

[Music]

you have nothing to eat well you invited

yourself over you sure brought your own

food which tie for what job interview

have to go interview message stop

how's that helpful just relax you know

trying to be yourself you always know

what to say

okay look if absolutely nothing else

just view this is like practice you know

it's been a long time since Amy yeah

well takes a while to get over having

your heart stomped on but you're dating

again so that's progress no no this is

not a date Brad this is being forced by

my boss to be out for dinner with a

woman for work and you know what I feel

cheap yeah okay that is a little weird

but that first one that that was a real

date yeah look how that turned out

okay I'm ready wish me luck

you don't need luck well thanks man I

meant all you have to do is just not

send someone else on fire it's kind of a

low bar

you know don't forget your rights a bad

date chronicles very funny wish she had

some food

how do I look perfect little chilly

though do you want to borrow sweater is

fireproof right sorry never mind

definitely I'm so nervous it's not even

a real date I'm sure it'll be fine maybe

you'll even have some fun fun on a date

does it ever happen Wow she made a

number on you didn't he who you know oh

yeah

holy book my heart

actually it was more than that he made

me feel like it wasn't good enough but

you are you know you're amazing

stop it you're gonna make my mascara run

and you know how much I hate female

cliches

call me can you be rescued or you know

if he wrecks the date on purpose thanks

for that

[Music]

hi oh you're here

you sound surprised sorry this is a

little weird huh yeah very weird I mean

I've been set up by co-workers before

but this is ridiculous

exactly yeah well shall we oh we have a

reservation uh I sound a surprise again

denied I heard it that time sorry yeah

oh yeah see if our tables ready oh good

evening sir how may I assist you hi hi I

have a reservation for 8:30 Conor

Michaels uh yes here it is okay table

for two uh 9:45 p.m. no no no no I I

made the reservation for 8:30

no Simon see it was 8:30 it was moved to

banquet by p.m. move by who

well I'm sure I don't know sir

ill tempo trying to take the day okay

okay I see how it is

hi what will take 2 min to the

reservation to 8:30 private message from

a single sir 487 what do you think with

the recipe I'm not done yet

the pasta is still boiling this is my

family's secret recipe if you mess it up

I'll never forgive myself for sharing it

well then stop chatting me I can't type

and cook at the same time

you've got two hands

[Music]

okay thank you do you think they

remember us

I'm thinking yes so so I literally have

no idea what to say right now

me either I have a question can I ask

you something sure did you even look

don't take this the wrong way but did

you want to do this this whole he-said

she-said date thing well I mean I I

thought it was a cute idea

it wasn't your idea no I didn't mean for

that to sound too inviting it's okay

look it wasn't my idea Eaters my boss it

was me it was all Alison see you didn't

want to be here either

no and I didn't mean to say that in

Vatika well there look at that we both

have something in common neither of us

wants to be on this date and we both

have crazy bosses you know what I will

drink to that

cheers Cheers yes you're in luck

something just opened up in three months

mm-hmm all right I'll talk to you may I

help you sir what no no I'm good

do you mind maybe just just a little to

your left

yeah yes I do mind

[Music]

not the only one who could talk on the

phone while I was speaking my mo are you

interrupting Liam Connors date no of

course not really the maitre d obviously

thinks you are what are you doing here

what are you doing here protecting my

investment from the lobby I'm surprised

you don't have a table here I did they

were supposed to be seated this early

you change the reservation I don't know

you're talking about what else did you

do nothing

[Music]

what did you do nothing

[Music]

you look amazing by the way thank you

like the suit thank you it's Italian

anyway I need to use the ladies room oh

good because I have to go to the capital

car for something in the car

[Music]

so I guess we should do all the first

date stuff that we didn't get to do last

time right right like we're from family

how long we've lived here type stuff the

basics okay

well I'm from sorry

I forgot to turn the ringer on right

oh well I am from a sorry yeah I'm sorry

I'm just gonna turn it off

[Music]

okay we should we should be good now so

you were saying yes I was saying that

I'm from Miss - there's a call for you

the front desk

really mm-hmm it's it's weird I better

take it go ahead

right this way there you are

Thanks hello hello

excuse me there's nobody there really it

was just a moment ago I said it was your

brother and then it was urgent I don't

have a brother I don't suppose he said

his name was Brad did he he didn't leave

a name excuse me so you need this date

to go bad - huh

I'm on to you buddy

[Music]

call from her brother

mm hmm hmm I see I have no idea what

you're talking about

okay this Means War

[Music]

well this has been yeah just maybe we

should I think so but hey look at it

this way at least nothing burst into

flames sir

as requested our signature dessert

dessert dessert yes

cherries Jubilee I'm not a hundred

percent sure but I think he might be

trying to kill me

I should check my will to make sure he's

not a beneficiary wow this is worse than

the original I didn't order that dessert

this is so great okay why is it great

because your version has twice as many

hits as hers does we're winning it's

totally worth the effort whatever effort

it takes to build a company and hire

brilliant editors like you guys and

stuff well that was weird yeah he's he's

weird in your plug

you said I have no way of proving that

she sets up fake calls to interrupt the

date but if the bad day plot fits wear

it

you really think she had a roommate

Peter the front desk oh and I don't know

who else it could have been

[Music]

my Ruby wants to know why Conor hates

women

who's my Ruby one of the people

commenting on your article why are you

reading knows everyone who posts on

there is crazy but they're not all crazy

well I'll tell you what is crazy that

Conor really thinks I did all this just

to make the day go badly I think the

operative word and the title bad date

Chronicles is back besides that's what

you said he did I know that's what he

did

maybe he's trying to divert suspicion

this is ridiculous I went through all of

that and he's still getting more views

than I am

House I wasn't taking it she's ready to

explode if I don't find a way to get the

pageviews up somehow I don't know what

she's gonna do double or nothing

you're on

[Music]

hi

your officer you find you here I'm Brad

Ponder's friend I remember who you are

if you're looking for Leigh you she's

not here I'm not here to talk to Leigh

I'm here to talk to you why cuz you're

the one helping lead tank their date

what are you talking about I haven't

taken anything oh so that wasn't you

calling her a hundred times of course

not their second date is tonight all I'm

asking is that you just stay out of it

I'm not in it maybe you should stay out

of it maybe you're the one making Connor

look bad look I know you don't like

Connor but he's actually a really good

guy and he's been hurt okay his last

relationship was

it took him a really long time to get to

where he felt like he could trust anyone

so just stay out of it okay

li was hurt too so bad that she won't

even let me say his name around her the

bad date chronicles isn't just a job for

her it's her way of feeling a little

less alone I'm sorry to hear that

I'm sorry too for him just let them have

their date okay

I really need to find a new place to go

for coffee when are you gonna let this

feud between us go when you admit what

you did what did I do you know what

start my own company want something for

myself is this what you've been angry

about for the last couple years

why did you come here Milo well I was

rereading our blog postings both of them

and I was actually feeling a little bit

guilty about what we did you guilty

what is this being recorded for one of

those prank shows awesome serious look

our sites may not be New York Times but

should still have some level of

journalistic integrity do you think

messing with the love lives of two

innocent people for our own personal

gains but as far from integrity as you

can get I hate it when you're right

so tonight the date goes how it goes

good or bad we stay out of it freeze

agreed

you know you're beautiful and you

compromise go away Joe your company

[Music]

this is insane he's just gonna try to

mess with me again like he did last time

well then you mess with him first yeah

but doesn't that make me just as bad as

he is

please you have to make a choice either

take control or stay here and hide on

the couch our couch is really

comfortable

take control okay okay I don't know what

you're so freaked out about I'm going on

a date with someone who thinks I'm

trying to kill her she doesn't really

think that she just thinks you're trying

to sabotage your dates you know what

maybe you should what why because

otherwise you're gonna end up playing

defense all night don't let her take

advantage of you like I can't me dead

yeah

you know what no more playing defense

[Music]

we're both late yeah we missed the start

in the movie okay so what's plan B well

I mean I was thinking we could take a

ride on the lake a lake no no lakes

maybe we could just get coffee Oh coffee

ah a room full of hot liquids I think so

but there is a bar around the corner of

that has curio so I can embarrass myself

in public no thank you

I scared no I want to end up in the

capstone so what are we gonna do

maybe we just go for a walk or something

a walk be fun okay

[Music]

yeah

[Music]

Wow

[Music]

so how'd she get involved with bad date

Chronicles uh happenstance mainly I got

hired to be a copy editor for the site

but then I had this really really epic

breakup around the time they were

looking for someone to run the blog it

seemed like a natural fit kind of few

bad dates yourself huh I mean other than

ours more like bad relationships I kind

of just wanted to forget about it you

know work on something happy and upbeat

but the site didn't have a blog puppies

and rainbows so

how about you and trends you know in a

way is the same thing I was writing a

sports blog went to her a bad breakup

and just decided that I needed to write

about something else

why would I not tell you that she was

the sportscaster of a local TV station

continue this is home I call its buddy

Brad hooked me up with this gig at the

Peters post by telling that Meadow super

trendy and cutting edge on all the

latest everything and you work no no my

car was seven years old not in the same

haircut successfully you know that's

saying fake it till you make it

yes yeah well I was really good at

faking it so much I was just watching

what are you doing here fifteen own

views at stake here well we don't have

to worry about that anymore these two

are the most boring date ever gonna walk

and talk I mean come on this is not bad

day Chronicle worthy what do we do we

agreed not to interfere guess we did

because that a would be bad yeah

[Music]

although I'm asleep a bad date is not

just in our best interest it's also in

theirs come on

bad date means more page views which

means higher profile which means better

jobs and more money for them could be

their first step towards starting their

own online magazine you kind of owe it

to them to interfere we are their

mentors and you know what mentors have

integrity yes so what are we waiting for

Alison what a beautiful when you

compromise New York or just when you're

devious let's just break up a date

please

[Music]

Lee how does it feel how does what feel

to be a winner your write-up of last

night's date is outpacing the Peters

post version by 30 percent we are gonna

crush them on the next date yeah that's

what I want to talk to you about I don't

think there's gonna be a next date

why don't you have a seat what do you

mean I mean he can't be that bad Kenny

no he's not he actually seems like a

decent guy and in between all horrible

stuff we were having fun but Alison I

think another date is gonna kill me Lee

I haven't seen you in a whole new light

since this all started smart funny

talented wait how did you see me before

honestly you were fine fine is fine but

it's not amazing and since you've been

sharing your stories

you're an amazing really yes if he's not

intentionally trying to make these dates

a nightmare that I'm pretty sure one of

us has picked up an ancient Tiki

necklace on a family trip to Hawaii

because we are cursed that's funny I see

big things for you at the richest record

but can I write about something else

something that doesn't involve the

threat of imminent death I'm sure you

could but how are you gonna feel if you

don't see this all the way through

relieved like a quitter nobody wants to

be a quitter I know I don't

[Music]

I don't think you have as much the state

units as I did you might be right

thank you for the topically I look

forward to you next right now

what just happened

[Music]

she thinks I said the boat I know but I

did not see boat I know but the boat

sank and so why was your girlfriend

she's not my girlfriend okay it's not my

fault

he's gotta be someone's fault but it

shouldn't be me okay Lee's literally

trying to blame me for every single

thing I did not break the karaoke

machine and I most certainly did not

save the boat do you think your

girlfriend did stop calling her then I

don't know

okay it doesn't seem like her but you

can't all be coincidence I mean nobody

goes on three dates in a row like that

so what are you gonna do about it where

are you going go break up with my

girlfriend told you she was your

girlfriend

you're late I'm not late I'm varying my

routine same coffee house same coffee

just ten minutes later than usual

I got a different grade - what's the

same to me it's only half cap you are a

mad woman totally out of control

anyway I was talking to Lee and she made

an interesting point what's that that

the stakes aren't high enough for me in

this little competition we have going on

okay what were you thinking your

business card I don't think that's worth

the four dollars or double or nothing

that is up to the card the business I

was doing a little research

the Richards record has women 18 to 49

Peter's post has met separately we do

find together we could be amazing

wants to merge yes as partners that's

where the wager comes in we get more

hits on the next day post you work for

me if you get more hits that work for

you serious fairies

[Music]

but I can't believe you think I'm that

much of a monster do you mind

I I work here what are you talking about

your bad day Chronicle where you called

me a sociopath I did not think you may

as well have I mean sabotage food

tampering maritime disasters if I wasn't

so offended I would be impressed that

you thought I had that much power so

what you just expect me to believe all

this was just happenstance no I don't

think that at all so I'm the sociopath

well if the straightjacket fits it

wasn't me it wasn't me either

if it wasn't you and it wasn't me then

who was it oh great god that's my boss

that's my boss wait a minute that's Milo

Peters yes Richard yes what did he do

any other

[Music]

rad Aaron what are you doing here I'm

meeting someone beat you go wait let me

go away I mean you're going to ruin it

how am I gonna ruin it I don't know I'm

sure you'll find a way well then maybe

you should go I'm not leaving I'm not

either red shirt single surfer 40-pin no

[Music]

it makes so much sense I was feeling so

inept yes

like I not only forgot how to day but I

was actually really bad at it like

bodily harm back I know I mean I

realized I shouldn't wrap up my sense of

self-worth and this stereotypical guy

thing of how women respond to me on

dates but but it wasn't us it was them

yeah you know what they're the

sociopaths they sank our boat they lit

me on fire twice once I mean the first

time was before they got involved but

anyway that works for me

so what are we gonna do we were supposed

to go on a date this weekend yeah it's

supposed to be our last date and frankly

I don't think I want to know what they

have in mind for a grand finale yeah

that's definitely not gonna end well for

us yeah you know unless they can't mess

with our date if they don't know when

that's happening

but they already do not for changing oh

well like it change it's wet right now

let's do it let's just go let's go blow

off the rest of work go completely off

the record redo all of our bad dates and

make them good

you know just prove to ourselves that

we're not bad date chronicles material

let's do it perfect

[Music]

did you know no why then I was me that

she was me the one you were checked you

know what I mean no like we talked about

Lea and Connor States and you never said

anything about knowing them I wanted to

know what you really thought then I

figured if you knew I knew her you'd

censor your answers yeah me too

but you defended Lea online I didn't

want to admit that I thought my friend

was being lame something like that

everybody both sides of it but I thought

Li was making a better case don't tell

her I said that

I won't so why didn't you say anything

on our chance

because I'm her friend it's in a job

description to defend her I get it now

because as much as I may have liked

single-server you in person husband yeah

feeling's mutual

well guess that's that then

I guess up

no way seriously when I was a kid I

wanted to be the Governor of Ohio not

the president no no that's too scary I

mean but the president you have to deal

with things like war with the governor

get off cool stuff the president does

like a car and the bodyguards and well

code name but you don't have to worry

about whether or not Michigan's gonna

attack that's a good point what about

you would you want to be when you grow

up oh I did the little girl trifecta

princess ballerina or a doggy doctor

nice mmm yes but unfortunately I

realized I wasn't born into royalty I

have two left feet and our dog skipper

didn't go live on a farm upstate bloom

is off the rose on all of them

understandable hey can I ask you

something

yeah of course

if our first date hadn't crashed in Bern

I see what you did there

would you want to go out with me again I

think so okay

why because I thought you were a nice

guy

despite everything that happened I

couldn't stop thinking that you were

nice I I didn't get a lot of nice with

my ex-boyfriend so nice was a nice

change of pace well you know I was

relieved when I thought I'd never have

to see you again but I mean listen I was

I was disappointed you know like I was

missing out on something special

oh it's been a long time since I felt

that way you know it's been over an hour

and nothing horrible has happened

no don't don't jinx it

hazards everywhere

there's no way this could work our best

friends hate each other you and I hate

each other I don't know about hey oh we

certainly don't like each other before t

found a single surfer dude I mean I

think they do I do

[Music]

that's not real life that's bits and

bytes and data and hiding behind

personas that aren't who we really are

and even if they were we don't know if

they could have worked

so

[Music]

I'm gonna go yeah meet you

[Music]

for the record I think a single surfer

and foodie fan would have made

[Music]

how's the Richards working late as usual

just making sure that everything is in

order for when you come work at the

Richards record what a coincidence I was

just figuring out where you're gonna sit

when you come to work at the Peters post

I do enjoy our little chats so we're

really gonna do this merge our two

companies I've run the numbers ten times

and I keep coming up with the same

answer we're better together than we are

apart we always were are you really

ready to let this go I've been doing

this a long time I started this blog

before people really knew what a blog

was it's been my life I know I was there

every day and I saw how important it is

to you yes it is but when Lee told me

that the stakes weren't high enough for

me I realized she was right things

around here have been routine well you

switched a half-caf when the thought of

betting Richards record first popped

into my mind

my first thought wasn't that's

ridiculous

it was why doesn't that sound ridiculous

I wouldn't have made this bad leaf on

some level at least I wasn't prepared to

lose okay but I am gonna win okay

and how are you gonna feel when that

happens well let's just say you're not

the only one looking for a little change

in routine so I guess we should talk

about logistics absolutely

[Music]

well here we are

you want me to escort you home ah my

car's here so I could give you a ride oh

no it's good I drove here I'm good I had

a great time so tonight

so the dates officially over right right

so that means what we're not bad dates

yeah buddy then pack it around in your

face so I I have an idea

okay I know this date was for us not our

blogs but it was a really good day

it was wasn't it and you think we should

tell people about it

yeah I would love for people to read

about a good day for once

yeah let's write it up tonight and turn

in first thing tomorrow great I can't

wait to read it

me too well good night

you know

if we write about tonight's date that

means it was for work I want our first

kiss to be a real date so we get a real

date oh you're so good at it they wasted

all that dating talent not too good man

[Music]

okay we're never gonna believe the

incredible day I have had seriously it's

like I've lost all my bad dating Karma

Aaron what's wrong I think I found all

your bad day in karma Oh No what

happened

Aaron please Aaron your mystery

Internet's only was the woman who kind

of 18 that's the one I'm sorry man what

I'm gonna do I can't do anything we'd

obviously never work out but you said

you were hitting it off online that was

before I knew who he really was

I just wish there was some way I could

show her who I really am enough about me

though how things go with Leigh

incredible we had the best time

really really it's amazing how much

easier dating someone is when you don't

know crazy people try to mess it up

Milo Peters and Alison Richards together

I thought they hated each other well

apparently they had one thing in common

greed you know our post about our

horrible dates we've been getting huge

numbers so it made sense that they

wanted more so what are you gonna do we

are gonna give them what they want third

date okay where do I start I'm sorry oh

you don't have to apologize no I I meant

you you're sorry for intentionally

ruining our dates

um yes Alison your bad date chronicles

have generated millions of hits as far

as revenue I don't even think our

accounting department has ever been

asked to count that high so no I won't

apologize for making something popular

and successful even if it meant I got

hurt in the process how did you get hurt

I was on fire oh you really need to let

that go leave everybody else has well

it's over now you have your final date

peace I have fulfilled my duties I can't

print this why not it's easy to get

distracted by the things that don't

really matter

but that's what makes it all the more

exciting when you can see past those

distractions to find the real person

standing behind them nah I every already

pitched the love stories blog remember

we don't do fiction it's not fiction

that was our date you prefer that I make

something up say we had a horrible time

and there was like a shake of locusts or

something

I get locusts it's a little far-fetched

but I like where you're going with this

what if the restaurant had cockroaches

I'm not doing this that is the date we

had if you want something else write it

yourself all right I will

[Music]

so Alison really tried to sabotage your

date huh

Milo okay okay we're terrible people but

we had good reason we did it yes money

okay what I meant is money for the

company pay people's salaries not just

you and me I'm responsible for all these

people here sometimes scary intimidating

and I feel the weight of that

responsibility every day and I guess it

made me a little crazy and I'm sorry

thank you

this is really well-written you really

like her huh

I do know this isn't what they want I

mean doesn't everybody want a story with

a happy ending

yeah for themselves but not other people

but if this is what you want to publish

it is and this is what we'll publish

[Music]

just let me show it to Alison first want

there to be any surprises okay Milo

thank you I appreciate it

remember that we're all unemployed this

is good this is really good

this makes that fire stuff look like

child's play bad day Chronicles here we

come and publish

[Music]

hey can we talk Milo

yes actually we need to talk but I have

to run out and finally really quickly do

you mind waiting for me I'll be right

here

[Music]

I don't understand daughter this is not

her everything matches with what you

said instead of running a romantic

comedy she wrote a horror movie when he

asked me if I thought I wanted to go out

with him a game after the first date I

almost couldn't decide if I wanted to

scream laugh run away or throw up that I

kept myself from doing any of these

things is nothing short of a miracle why

would she do this i hain't a sieve I

think he got played this way she can

write her bad day Chronicles you look

like a fool she gets all the hits I get

left with nothing

yeah

I really thought she liked me you know

sorry you haven't published my story yet

have you good I think it needs a few

revisions

[Applause]

[Music]

yes

[Music]

you have a food problem

[Music]

see I always lose my appetite when I

feel like I messed up something

important maybe you didn't mess it up

maybe someone else messed up maybe we

both did but I presume you heard about

Lee and Conners date last night yes it

went great

it's show I figured you know if they can

let bygones be bygones and start over

then maybe we could too

[Music]

what time can you pick me up tonight

[Music]

does it mean oh it's a news alert Connor

just posted the write-up of their date

oh it turns out our bad dates really

were my fault because I'm the one who

was willing to give her the benefit of

the doubt I was willing to believe that

she was a decent human being did you

know about that no when I talked him it

was fine they had a great time

everything was great or maybe he was

just pretending that so he could write

this hit piece I know Connor is not like

that and what about you coming over here

Oh charming I'm such an idiot

where are you going I have to find me

[Music]

it's funny what is how fast it all comes

back

I really didn't think I'd gotten over my

breakup with Danny

he said his name

that's the thing I thought I would hurt

too much to say his name I thought I was

still too hurt by everything that had

happened it's understandable but see I

wasn't I was better I felt better about

myself about my life about everything

I just didn't realize it delivered this

now I know how much better I was because

now I remember what it feels like to be

hurt it comes back so fast

it's funny isn't it

we were just waiting for an opportunity

to stab me in the back

weren't you hold on a second somehow

you're the victim here you know I really

gotta give you credit for that I was

prepared to lose stuff that was a

fantastic performance have a seat please

let me guess

the Connor character assassination piece

all your idea right what just like Lee's

hatchet job was yours what are you

talking about

we haven't posted anything yeah but I

saw what you were gonna post no we

didn't write this I did what Lee wrote

this really lovely sweet piece of fluff

I couldn't let her post it so I wrote

this and was gonna put it up instead and

I changed my mind I don't believe you

where'd you find these papers Milo in

the troop in the trash because that's

where I put them I threw it away I

wasn't gonna post that and corners

original piece was about how amazing

their day was and then I showed him this

of course you did we're terrible people

the absolutely worst I mean they could

have been in love or at least headed

that way ruin it terrible horrible

people the worst rag you can hear

yourself

[Music]

yo Brad we need your help what did you

two do

[Music]

dad get out and you get out and you you

own the place so I can't really tell you

to get out but I am not very happy with

you either

it's fair Eric just take a look at these

[Music]

what did you do thing was them it's true

it's our fault but we just want to know

how to fix it so what do we say how do

we fix this

[Music]

Aaron I got your message what

[Music]

yeah I still don't understand what we're

doing here just trust me okay

[Music]

let me go

[Music]

my date with Connor was unexpected

[Music]

not because it turns out that he's

charming and funny I gotten glimpses of

those qualities on our previous dates

know the date with Connor was unexpected

because I realized that our horrible

dates were really our own faults

our scars from past relationships meant

that we weren't willing to give each

other the benefit of the doubt

Lee's willingness to throw caution to

the wind and go out on a

spur-of-the-moment date maybe look at

her in a whole new light she not only

accepted this folly she also embraced

the chance to jump off a very tall

bridge with only a very thin bungee cord

and I admire her bravery here's the

thing about doubt

it's just a distraction it's easy to get

distracted by the things that don't

really matter but that's what makes it

all the more exciting

when you can see past those distractions

to find the real person standing behind

them

I saw Connor for the first time last

night and I hope it's not the last

Penn's clammy mouth dry hearts pounding

Lee and I stood together on the

precipice risking a fall but eagerly

anticipating the act of falling and

together we left

you wrote this

you

can I ask you a question okay can we

count this as our first real date

sure then why aren't you giving me that

goodnight kiss because I'm not ready to

say goodnight

[Music]

a toast somebody has to make a toast

I think Connor you should go first okay

all right

well to new beginnings

old friends and that's all I've got

wait wait I have one okay to the end of

the bad date Chronicles and the

beginning of the real love stories

column nonfiction I have to hand it to

you guys I didn't think anyone would

want to read about that last date and

who knew it would have been our most

popular post but enough of that romantic

step the real reason we're here to

celebrate a union between the Richards

record and Peters post a partnership to

the Richard Peters report why does your

name go first oh we talked about this

because my site has been around a lot

longer than that but I have a more

engaged audience engage wait my audience

is very inky how long until they realize

they're in love with each other I think

we should set them up on a few bad days

which is why we're here I'm grabbing

this partner should know by about Dave

well because sometimes you need a few

bad dates know which ones you like

[Music]