Original subtitles

Is it bedtime time already? Come along, Mr. Tibbs.

Time for little bears to go to bed

Time for them to rest

Don't be scared, Mr. Tibbs.

Silly old thunderstorm.

Up the wooden hill to Bed...

- ..Ford... Shire

Oh! What is that?!

Probably a mouse. A large mouse.

- A badger perhaps.

Must have left the back door open.

Lord Monroe, how about a bedtime nursery rhyme?

This little piggy went to market.

This little piggy stayed at home.

This little piggy went... Yes, that's it!

Squeal! All the way home!

I'm coming for you, my little piggy!

My coccyx! Come on, Monroe. Light on your feet!

Legs like pistons. Almost there, Mr. Tibbs!

Mr. Tibbs?

No! Mr. Tibbs!

I'm coming, old friend. I'll not leave a bear behind!

Mr. Tibbs?

Oh, Mr. Tibbs, what's got into you?

Leave this house.

Time for little bears to go to bed

Unhand my teddy, you fiend!

You can't run from me!

Almost there!

Here I come!

This handle is defective!

Behind youl!

Daddy will protect you, Mr. Tibbs. The window!

Remember your years in the gymnasium! Hup!

I love youl! Be a good bear!

- Are we there yet? - No.

- Are we there yet? - No!

- When do we get to England? - Wearein England!

Do they have bathrooms in England? 'Cos I gotta go!

- We are here! - Yay! England!

Oh, Hiram, look at these darling gates! They're so wonderfully gothic.

- "Canter-vyle"? - No, Kent. Canter-veelay.

It /s a real humdinger. And at a bargain price, too.

And all because people say it's haunted!

Ooh, creepy forest!

There's no need to be scared

of this so-called ghost, Virginia.

Fear of the unknown and, uh, unexplained is merely ignorance.

I'm not scared.

Just think, our very own English Manor House!

I bet you could fit 50 ghosts in there!

Boys, did you not hear what I just said?

Not really. We usually just listen to Mom.

I bet I see the ghost first, Louis!

Unless your ugly face scares him away first, Kent!

Wow, this place is old.

Super old. Older than Dad!

- Hideous! - She's got donuts on her head!

Boys!

Mrs. Umney, I presume? Hiram Otis - at your service.

Welcome to Canterville Chase.

- This way.

Oh, my!

Where's the ghost? I want to be haunted first!

No fair! I want to be haunted first!

- Have you seen the ghost? - Are youthe ghost?

Or maybe a zombie! Do you want to eat my eyeballs?

Eat his brains. He doesn't need them.

What... charming children.

- Let's go this way! - Hey look! A torch!

Oh, Hiram.

Oh man! This fireplace is so big I can crawl inside!

Fight me, Kent.

It's okay. I think we own that painting now.

Is a stained glass window more expensive than a regular window?

Oh, Hiram. It's just so perfect. So grand!

Hmm, a little gloomy but I have something that will fix that.

Electricity, Mrs. Umney! The power of the future!

Oh, I wouldn't know about that, sir.

Of course you wouldn't. You're just a little old English lady.

Ah, ow! Hit me again, Kent!

What's French for "in your face"?

Yes, indeed.

This room will make the perfect setting for our Grand Banquet!

The house will be filled with members of the Royal Society,

heads of industry, possibly even a duke or two.

The perfect way to put American Electricals on the map.

T-t-the Royal Society? Dukes? Oh, Hiram!

I sent the invitations back in Boston. Lead on, Mrs. Umney!

Hiram!

- Child.

Golden Child.

This way.

Virginia, keep up!

Huh... uh, I'm coming.

And this is the library.

What a splendid collection. Eh, pumpkin?

We had books back home, Pa.

I know it's hard leaving everything behind

but you'll make new friends. This is going to be

a great adventure! Come on now, no tears.

I'm not crying!

What happened to the previous owner?

He's in the asylum now. Poor Lord Monroe.

All he does is scream and scream, day and night...

..he goes.

You see, for the past 300 years,

each and every owner of this house has been forced to flee,

driven mad by the ghost of Sir Simon de Canterville.

Codswallop and crazy talk!

Ha! I assure you, we Otises are made of sterner stuff

and no ghost, real or otherwise, is EVER gonna scare us.

- Jehosephat!

- Whoa!

Virginia's scared of the ghost! She probably peed in her pants!

Ow!

Nice shot. I hope that wasn't a first edition!

Now, come on. There's work to be done.

This is our new home!

Boys!

- It was Kent! - It was Louis!

It was... the ghost!

- Well isn't this a darling room? - L hate it.

Uh, will you be coming down to dinner?

Not hungry.

Virginia, this has to stop!

This is our home now so... So I suggest you get used to it.

I will not get used to it! I hate it here!

Okay, good talk.

I wish we'd never come!

Alright then, I love you!

Strange.

How did you get up here?

Huh? Hmm.

"When the barren almond bears"?

Uh-huh?

Okay, not good! Not good!

Ow. That hurt.

Good. That's why I threw it.

Trying to scare me like that. Hmph!

Stop goggling, lad. Have ye no manners?!

Who's goggling? And who are you calling "lad"?

You're a maid?! But you're wearing pantaloons?

These are riding breeches, actually.

Whoever heard of a girl in trousers? 'Tis against nature!

So, you're the Canterville Ghost?

Indeed. Why? Does it make the blood curdle in your veins

to speak with one who has passed beyond this vale of tears

and returned to walk amongst the living?

- Not really. - Oh.

I don't think you're that scary at all!

Oh, but I am. I am enormously scary!

And I shall drive you and your cursed family away,

just like all the others!

Oh, really?

I bet you can't scare my family out of here in, shall we say...

..two weeks?

A mere fortnight! Ha! Don't bother unpacking.

You'll be gibbering down the driveway within the week. Ha!

And what a shame that would be.

How charming to meet you, Your Grace. Would you care for a cucumber sandwich?

- Hmm, very good, dear.

Hiram, would you close the curtains?

It's chilly in here.

Yes, dear.

Ben Franklin would have loved to fly his kite

in this storm.

Oh. Hiram, I said close the curtains.

Hmm...

These old houses. Inferior fittings. Unruly drafts.

Character and history, Hiram.

Shoddy English workmanship, more like.

- What's that, Hiram? - I love you, dear!

Man make fire Fire is good

Hmm. My breeches.

Ugh, even the fire is defective.

Hmm?

Shall I tell you a bedtime story?

Well, I'll be!

It appears the rumors of the ghost are...

..true!

A -Oh! H! A goblin!

Do you mind, sir? This is our bedroom.

Hiram, I'm in my undergarments.

She has a point, sir. This is most inappropriate.

I must ask you to leave.

What? No, this is... my house! I'M asking YOU to leave.

One moment, sir.

May I recommend "Dr. Dobell's Tincture Remedy for Hoarse Throat"?

No! You may not!

And while you're at it, you may want to work

on those noisy chains with "Tammany's Rising Sun Lubricator."

Otherwise, nobody's gonna sleep a wink.

What?! There shall be no lubricating!

Oh.

Now if you, eh, wouldn't mind.

Wouldn't mind what?

Well, eh, let me just say very strongly that, that...

This is my house and I...

Goodnight to you, sir.

Wha... Oh.

Finally! A real ghost!

Well, hello, child.

England's so boring. Will you play with us?

Why, of course! But let's not get 'ahead' of...

- Heads up, Louis! - Wait, what are you doing?

- For the touchdown! - My head's spinning.

Just what... Wait!

It's good!

- The crowd goes wild!

Who are these people?

The rudeness!

I will drive them out!

Imitate the action of the tiger! Stiffen the sinews.

Summon up the blood. I will scare them so hard

they will never return to England's glorious shores again!

Hmm. You talk a good fight, but what if you're losing your touch?

What? How dare you! What do you know anyway?

- You don't even have a brain! - Ha! Neither do you.

Right, it's the bucket for you, Sirrah!

- Oh, very mature.

Put the bucket over the skull. Hilarious. Never gets old.

All I'm saying is you've been haunting this house for 300 years.

Mayhap your steel has lost its edge?

Three hundred years? Has it really been so long?

- Hyah!

Ugh, I hate this place! Hyah!

Oh, goodness gracious! Whoa there, lovely horsey!

Horsey! Argh! That's got it. No, it hasn't. Ahh!

Are you alright?

Never better. Thank you. Lovely day for a ride.

Yeah, I... I suggest you stop before you get hurt.

Oh dear. AHHH!

Excelsior, you idiot. Please.

Oh, what are you doing?

I think you could do with some help here.

Um, what's happening now?

Whoa, boy!

- Whoa, boy! - Yes. Whoa, boy, indeed.

Thank you. Gosh, that is high.

I must say, that was brilliant! My name's Henry.

Good for you. Maybe you should try walking next time.

You are a woeful horseman!

Ah, whoopsadaisy!

She can be a little temperamental, but she's a lovely old thing, really.

Aren't you, Excelsior?

Uh, Excelsior? Excelsior?

EXCELSIOR?

So, you're a duke?

Does that mean I have to call you "Your Highness"?

Because I'm not about to.

Uh, it's "Your Grace", actually, although I prefer "Henry".

So, how are you finding England?

I hate it.

Ah, right. What? All of it?

Everything I've seen so far.

Yes, well, I suppose it can be a bit stuffy.

Here we are. Home sweet home.

Uh, Canterville? Canterville Chase?

Are you okay?

Oh, no. Uh, yes. Yes, of course.

It's just that I've never actually been to Canterville.

My mother would definitely not approve.

Do you always do what your mother says?

Heavens, no. I always think it vital to do the exact opposite

of what one's mother wants. Don't you?

Oh, absolutely. Vital.

There, you see? Something we have in common.

This is going awfully well.

What's she got against Canterville, anyway?

Well, we the Cheshires and the Cantervilles, have never really got on.

We used to own the place, you see, centuries ago, until the ghost drove us out.

Really?

Yes, and we grand English families, we do like to bear a grudge. Silly, really.

Ugh! What a horrid crow.

- I've seen Mr. Crow before. - Good for you.

I've seen these gates before too!

Oh gosh, you're strong.

Wow, it's some kind of garden.

- Let's go in! - It seems rather nasty in there.

Perhaps you ought to fire your gardener.

There's someone in there!

Come on. Hold your hands out like this.

Why? Ow. Ow! Ah!

W-what are you doing?

I see, I'm some sort of ladder.

Hello? Hey! Hello there!

You're quite the reckless sort, aren't you?

I'm going to climb down the other side.

- Yes, of course you are.

Miss Otis, hello. Are you alright?

I... Yeah, I'm fine. You can put me down now.

Yes. Sorry.

You look awful. I mean, a bit pale.

Tea. Hot sugary Teal Tea always works.

I'll get you some tea from the... house.

I'm American! I don't drink teal! I'm fine.

Tea always helps. I'll be right back!

Just as soon as I find the tea and the kitchen and some staff.

- Oh, you again.

- What do you want?

What is it?

And I'm talking to a bird now. Which is perfectly normal.

Oh, great. Bye, then!

What is that?

Virginia!

Oh! Are you ready for that tea now?

You're awfully brave. You haven't cried once.

Perhaps you're in shock?

Crying doesn't solve anything.

You shouldn't go swimming in the lake.

Terrible things have happened in that lake.

It was the gardener! He... He just showed up out of nowhere.

Gardener?

There's been no gardener here these 30 years hence.

Ever since Mr. Merriwether was found in the vegetable patch,

frozen with fear, still clutching his brassicas!

It's Sir Simon. But who is she?

The Lady Eleanor. Well, well, well.

What is it, Mrs. Umney?

I must not say! Very well! On your own head be it!

They say Sir Simon drowned his beloved wife in the lake!

That is why he is cursed to haunt this place.

He drowned her?

But they look so happy.

People say his spirit can never rest

until "The Prophecy" is fulfilled.

Prophecy?

It's said to be written somewhere in the grounds.

My family have served here for generations

and though many have sought the prophecy, none have found it!

- Your tea, Miss. - See, Ma. It's true.

Virginia has a boyfriend!

Virginia, what's this I hear? Swimming in the lake?

- With a boy. Wait till Dad hears!

I wasn't swimming, mother! I...

Allow me to explain. Henry Fitzhumphrey, Duke of Cheshire.

He rescued her, Ma'am.

Ugh! He looks like a mannequin at a department store!

Virginia, what were you thinki... Did you say 'Duke'?

- Um... yes. - Punish her, Mother!

Ow! Mother!

How delightful to meet you, Henry.

Or do I call you "Sir" or... Or "Your Dukeness"?

Or... Mrs. Umney! We must have tea! And cake!

No, Mother, we mustn't! Henry was just leaving.

You rescued her? How romantic!

Like Sir Lancelot du Lac and Guinevere.

Well, I'm not sure that's actually...

I should probably toddle off.

Er, a pleasure to meet you all.

Oh, you're leaving so soon?

Well, at least let me show you out.

Goodbye, Miss Otis.

- Uh... Bye. - Goodbye.

I can walk from here. It's only 14 miles.

Lost my edge, indeed!

Everyone's a critic.

This time, I'll give them a performance they won't forget!

Good for you. That's the spirit.

- Wait! W-what are you doing?

Oh, bravo! Yes. Yes!

The eyes have it!

Something wicked this way comes!

I like studying science

I'm at the top of my class

If you don't like studying science

You must be a... Questionable fellow.

You shall be food for the worms!

Oh! That's very good.

One for the Boston Scientific Journal.

Don't move a muscle! Do you even have muscles?

- Say "cheese". - Cheese.

I do beg your pardon. I didn't mean to scare you.

What!? YOU scare ME?

I am Sir Simon de Canterv...

Oh, never mind. You've ruined it now.

I wouldn't touch that if I were you.

Hmm? I shall touch whatever I please.

Oh!

And let that be a lesson to you.

I'm going for a lie-down now. In an... angry way.

A murderer? That can't be true.

Ordering me about in my own house!

Out-RAGEOUS!

You are absolutely the worst ghost in the world!

"Oh, I'm Sir Simon de Canterville. I'll scare you out of here in a week."

Except you can't, can you?

- That sounds nothing like me. - You're pathetic!

Come back here, I'm talking to youl!

You really are the most insufferable little...

- Where did you get that? - The lake.

- Give that to me. - Why should 1?

That locket belonged to my wife.

What do you care? You drowned her!

I... What do you know of anything?

Eleanor!

Oh! Are you crying?

NO! Of course I'm not.

Sounds like it to me.

So what if I am? Do you never weep?

No, never.

But then I didn't murder my wife!

I did NOT murder her!

I know that is what everyone believes, but it is not true!

I was an actor back then, of some repute.

My beloved Eleanor would always rehearse with me in the grounds.

- She was my muse.

She never felt safe on that bridge

but selfishly I convinced her to stay.

Her beauty would inspire my performance.

- My vanity, my foolishness...

..took her from me.

I got snagged on a rosebush.

I pulled myself free and dived in to save her,

but could not find her in the dark water.

And the guilt has lived with me some 300 years.

I loved my Eleanor, so please, don't judge me.

I have judged myself enough.

You know what? I think we could both do with some cheering up.

See? This is fun!

Slow down! Slow down, you'll kill us!

You're a ghost! You're already dead.

Oh, yes. Yes, I suppose I am.

Well, go faster! Go faster!

What powers this contraption - invisible horses?

Hey, why don't YOU take the wheel?

Take it? Where? Oh, ah!

- Trees! - Steer around them!

Ya-hoo!

Yes, indeed!

Yahoo!

Okay then! Come on, let's go tear up the village!

- The village? - Yeah!

You can petrify some of the locals.

It'll be good practice for scaring my family.

Sir Simon?

Whoa!

- What's the matter? - Alas, Virginia,

I cannot pass beyond these gates.

I wish I could be free,

but I am cursed to haunt this place, and haunt it I must.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

- Maybe I could help?

Mrs. Umney said something about a prophecy.

No! You get away from her!

Leave her bel

Sir Simon, that crow... What's in the walled garden?

Nothing! Nothing at all.

Oh, really?!

There's nothing in there, I tell you.

And this prophecy? Who is the Golden Child?

What happens when the 'barren almond bears'?

Such matters should not be of concern to you!

What aren't you telling me? Why won't you let me help you?

I can't. I mustn't. Please, Virginia.

Ask me anything, but not that.

Some ghost he is.

He said he would have us out of here in two weeks.

- Hmm, what's this?

Turn, hellhound! Dead for a ducat! Ha-hah!

Ah, there you are.

Oh! Weren't you even a little bit scared?

Oh, no. I-l mean, yes!

You cut quite the fearsome figure with that blade.

- Really? Do you think so? - Oh, yes.

My knees are... completely knocking.

Excellent! Rest assured, Virginia.

Your family may be tough nuts to crack, but crack them I shall!

Uh-hum? You're going to drive them out with that?

I was quite the swordsman in my day, you know.

Oh, really? Why don't you show me? En garde!

But, pfft... But you're a girl!

A girl who's about to kick your butt!

Very well. If trousers, why not swords? I promise to be gentle.

- Oh, I think I'll keep up. - Indeed!

- That all you got? - Bravo.

- L made Pa give me lessons. - Oh, very sensible.

You really are the most remarkable young woman.

Your Henry is a lucky chap.

Oh, don't you start. He's not MY Henry.

- Oh? You love him not?

I hardly know him.

And anyway, I want to see the world,

have adventures, not just be somebody's wife.

Why does everything have to be about 'love'?

But, my dear, love is the greatest adventure of all!

Love can make you thrill with excitement

or tremble with fear, make you a beggar or a fool.

A poet or a king!

- Love is all you need. Yoo-hoo!

You sound like my mother.

- Virginia! - Now you REALLY sound like her.

Virginia! Oh, there you are. What are you doing?

I was just, um...

Virginia, come inside. We have guests. Guests!

Oh, great. How exciting.

Guests, eh? Then let the revels commence!

Thank you, Mrs. Umney.

Ah! The tea and cucumber sandwiches,

which is apparently a thing. I'm not sure why. Anyway!

Reverend Chasuble, this is my daughter Virginia.

Pleasure, my dear.

Allow me to introduce my wife.

Hello, there! It is more incredible than I could have hoped.

There are unmistakable signs of spiritual activity everywhere!

See what I found on the floor? Ectoplasm!

- Um... - No, that's jam.

Hmm... It is jam. Strawberry jam!

A classic symptom of Spectral Manifestation.

- Have you seen it then? - Seen what?

The bally ghost! Has it manifested to you?

I could help you with it, you know. My card.

"Phantasmagorical Investigator"?

Ghost hunter, dear!

It is so delightful of you to call on us, Reverend.

I was beginning to fear no one would visit.

In truth, it was my wife who insisted we come.

I'll say! Oh, for the chance to test my mettle

against the famed Canterville Ghost!

I could hunt the phantasm down for you and trap it!

Algernean, do have some tea, won't you?

All this silly talk of ghosts. It's nonsense...

NONSENSE?!

Tell that to the people he sent raving to the madhouse.

Or his poor wife. He murdered her, you know.

- That's not true! - Yes, itis.

Ghosts are benighted creatures of pure evil.

He is not evil! What do you know about it anyway?

Virginia!

You must excuse my daughter.

She has a new gentleman admirer.

- Mom! - Cake! Mrs. Umney!

Right away, Ma'am. Your Vicarship?

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

And I'm trying to watch my waistline.

- Boo!

- Sponge finger, anyone? - No, you don't!

A manifestation! A genuine manifesta...

Don't you know it's rude to talk with your mouth full?

Oh, I'm so sorry! - Now for you, young lady!

- How am I doing? - Really good.

Go! No, no! Get away from me...

..you horrible despicable phantom!

Just off to the little vicar's room.

Leaving so soon?

Impressive! - Drat! Missed!

Sir Simon! Stop this at once!

Magnificent! Now, don't move...

..I want to study you from top to bottom.

Off she goes!

Telekinesis, how thrilling!

- Where she stops, nobody knows! - Little bilious now.

Hello again. Incoming, Cedric! I'm approaching from the rear!

- Oh, Algernean. - Fear not, my love,

I have him exactly where I want him.

- Very good, dear. - More tea, Vicar? Too hot?

Stop! - Let me blow on it.

Your days are numbered, phantom! I'll be back!

Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much indeed.

- Oh, for me? So kind!

Hiram! Yes, dear?

That ghost is a menace! I've never been so embarrassed.

How can we possibly host a Grand Banquet

with all of his shenanigans? This is not funny, Virginia!

Sorry, Mother. You're right.

This ghost is dreadful. Perhaps we should just go home?

- This is our home, Pumpkin. - No, it's not!

By Joseph, itis, young lady!

We are not leaving! Ghost or no ghost.

Hiram G. Otis and his family are here to stay.

And we are having our banquet.

- Well, I'm not coming. - You will do as you are told.

But, my darling, your young Henry will be there.

He is not MY young Henry! He's just a...

You two are giving me a headache!

- Oh, may I just suggest a... - No, you may not.

What on earth is the matter with Pumpkin?

Oh, Hiram, she's not your little Pumpkin anymore.

She's growing up.

Hmm, too fast.

Where does the time go?

Yes, you still got it, Canterville, you old dog.

Hmm, what's that, Sirrah? Want to make something of it?

Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind.

Sir Simon! ltis I! Lord Pumpkin of the Underworld!

Please, no!

You're guilty of being a phantom failure...

- Have mercy! - ..and now you must pay!

- Gotcha! - Pay! Twenty dollars.

- Ha-ha! Best prank EVER! - Nol!

What kind of ghost is scared of ghosts?!

I really hate those boys.

Oh, there you are!

Okay, I've been thinking and there must be some other way

we can scare my parents out of here.

Maybe what we do is...

What's the point?

What's the matter with you?

The world has changed.

There was a time when I made people's blood run cold.

But no longer, it seems.

What are you talking about? You scared the Vicar.

Vicars, pah! Everything scares vicars, but your family...

Are all Americans like this?

Wait, we can't just give up.

I'm afraid I failed you, Virginia.

I'm a ghost who cannot haunt people.

I may as well be a dog that cannot bark.

When the barren almond bears...

Yech! Pungent.

Um, Sorry. I... I still don't quite understand.

Why are we shoveling manure onto a dead tree?

I'm trying to help Sir Simon. He seems so sad.

Oh...

And this manure will make him... happy?

Look, I keep hearing this voice.

You're hearing voices? Eh, right.

"When the barren almond bears." Well, this is an almond tree.

It's barren, nothing's growing on it.

So maybe we have to make something grow on it.

An almond, presumably.

Ah, ahem, yes. And then what will happen?

I don't know!

Maybe it's something to do with this prophecy.

- What prophecy? - It's all in here.

There's a picture of the walled garden in this book,

only it keeps... changing.

First, it was just the locked gates,

then this girl appeared and now...

Look! The gates are open. See?

Hmm, that looks a bit like you.

Oh, Hiram. Look at the two lovebirds.

- Hmm. - Oh, hmm nothing.

Who would have believed it? It's like a fairytale.

Our Virginia and the Duke of Cheshire.

Duke of Cheshire? DUKE OF CHESHIRE?!

I think the book wants me to go in there.

It has to be connected with the prophecy.

Um... yes. Perhaps.

You don't believe me.

It's just... Ghosts and prophecies. It does seem a bit...

Crazy. You think I'm crazy?

Crazy? No, not at all.

I just think you're a bit... different.

Oh, different?

No, what I meant to say was, uh...

Virginia, I think you are absolutely...

- Cheshire! - Sir Simon?

Begone, vile blackguard!

Sir Simon, no!

- Be gone, I say! - Sir Simon, stop it.

Darken this hallowed place no more!

- What are you doing? - Quiet, Virginia!

This is between me and him!

What's got into you? Henry, just go.

No, I'm not leaving you alone with whatever he is.

Now, now, you see here, I'm quite scared

and I don't have a sword, but nevertheless...

It's alright, Henry. Go!

Yes, you'd better go. Run!

Are you sure?

Yes! I can handle this.

A curse on all Cheshires!

You don't even know him.

I know his blood! They are all the same.

What has got into you?

I will not suffer a Cheshire to walk on my land!

He was lucky to escape with his life!

His life?

If you dare set foot here again, you will pay!

A lucky escape, my dear. Those Cheshires!

- I thought we were friends! - We ARE friends.

No! No, you leave me alone.

Virginia? Virginia!

Don't talk to me.

Pumpkin? Huh?

Hmm.

Sir Simon, we need to talk.

Tonight is a Grand Banquet, There will be people,

laughter, merriment, and you will not disturb it.

There will be no haunting, no moaning, no clanking of chains.

- Is that understood? - I shall do as I please.

- You shall do as you are told! - This is my house!

No, sir. This is MY house.

How dare you, you jumped-up little colonial...

Your tomfoolery will not work on me, sir.

I am a modern man. This is a modern world.

- A world of science!

Powers you cannot even begin to comprehend.

World of gears, levers, electricity, pistons.

There is no place for you in this world, sir.

You are obsolete. A replica. A dinosaur.

If you were any kind of decent fellow,

you would leave this place.

But I can't.

The Reverend Chasuble and his wife.

Who is called Algernean.

Who is called Algernean.

Professor Victor Borsakov

and his wife, Mrs. Borsakov.

..and I told him,

"No, you need to reverse the polarity!"

- l don't understand.

- It's his accent. - Darling?

If you gentlemen will excuse me.

It's going wonderfully, Hiram. We'll be the talk of society.

And no sign of the ghost yet.

I do hope he won't spoil it.

I don't think we'll be seeing him again.

It's all taken care of.

Apparently he has an enormous inheritance

and his acreage is a wonder to behold...

I don't know why I have to wear this darned thing.

Well, I think you look lovely.

Henry! You're here!

I mean, I didn't think you'd come after...

Wouldn't have missed it for the world.

- No ghost could keep me away.

- He's not here, is he? - No.

What are you doing hiding away in here?

I can't go out there. Pa says I have to, but...

..ugh! All those lords and ladies!

What do I say to them? What do I do?

Can't we just stay here?

Now, now. Best foot forward.

Take my arm. You saved me from that mad ghost.

Now, I'll save you from something even scarier:

English high society!

- Miss Virginia Otis...

..and His Grace...

..Henry, the Duke of Cheshire.

What?!

How dare he show his weaselly face here again!

Keep up, Marjorie. This is a big gig for us.

You've nothing to fear from these people.

They're mostly harmless.

Lady Grey lost all her teeth in a riding accident.

Colonel Merriman, completely mad!

He once challenged a pig to a duel.

Said it looked at him funny.

- The pig won. - Attention!

This one thinks he's a mermaid. She lost her leg in a card game,

and he invented a tiny gun for shooting wasps.

Oh!

Excuse me?

Half past seven, I think. Oh look, brandy.

Come with us, my dear. You must tell us all about yourself.

You look sturdy. Good hips.

- I'm sorry? - Maybe later. Ladies!

That was code for:

"We want you to marry our brother Dorian."

Thank you. Nice save!

- No problem. - Oh, um...

Work from the outside in. Soup, fish, meat.

Or just use your fingers. It's your house after all!

See? Nothing to worry about.

Thanks for your help.

Anytime. Anytime at all.

You see, Virginia...

- ..1 think you truly are...

Excuse me, folks! Welcome to Canterville!

We are thrilled to have you at our Grand Banquet.

Now, I know Canterville Chase

has had a somewhat bloodcurdling reputation down the years,

but that is all in the past.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you'd please extinguish your candles.

Now, allow me to introduce the new wonder of the modern world.

It's like magic.

It's science, Cedric. Mr. Otis is a man after my own heart.

Oh!

Well done, dear. You did it.

No, WE did it.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Indeed.

To progress!

0 progress!

Don't worry, everyone. I'm sure it's just a fuse.

A fuse? Is there a bomb?

Hiram, what's that noise?

I am the Ghost of Canterville,

and this dinner is doomed! DOOMED!

Good grief! Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm.

Rest assured this is an unfortunate yet harmless prank

from my incorrigible boys.

- Again, Kent. Again!

- Nice touch. - Uh... it wasn't me!

Then... who was it?

Mayday! Mayday!

Hiram! - Boys, stop this immediately!

- It's not us!

- Guess who's coming to dinner?!

- Sir Simon!

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!

- Ha-hah! - Keep up, Marjorie.

Do you do requests?

Play on, I say. Play on!

Quick, quick. Come along!

Unhand me, Cecil! The beast is mine...

Algernean!

We meet again, old adversary.

But this time, it is I who shall...

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Do speak up.

You Americans enter my house with your modern ways

and dare to tell me what I may or may not do?!

Now, you see here, sir.

Dinosaur, am I?

Obsolete?

If it's electricity you want,

how about THIS?

Hiram!

And as for you, CHESHIRE!

Sir Simon, stop it!

Is it me oris it getting HOT in here?

Mrs. Umney, do something!

Yes, Ma'am.

A toast. To progress! To Canterville!

A modern, happy home? Ha!

Ah, don't mind if I do!

Not for me!

I want to watch it all burn.

Out of my way, boys!

Boys, over here!

Jump!

- I'm scared, Louis. - Me too, Kent.

Come on, boys! You can do it!

Geronimo!

Come on! Let's get out of here!

Go! I will be right behind you.

We better not get blamed for this one!

It's not our fault!

Now, THAT'S what I call a haunting.

Hey, Ma.

Oh, thank goodness you're all safe.

- Are you okay? - Where's Henry?

Henry?

- That was... - Incredible!

- When's dessert?! - Oh my goodness, boys!

Henry!

- Henry!

Henry, are you okay?

Virginia, you came back!

I think I put my back out.

Come on, Henry. You can do this. Come on!

Quickly!

Virginia! What are you doing?

Oh, my!

Come on, Henry. On your feet.

Thank you, Virginia.

I'm so sorry.

Forgive me, Virginia.

I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth.

Pumpkin, I was looking for you everywhere! Are you okay?

It's all my fault, Virginia. I shouldn't have come.

My presence here clearly drove the ghost into a rage.

It's not your fault.

I couldn't bear the thought of any harm

coming to you or your family. I think it best...

- ..that I don't come again. - What?

Thank you, Mr. Otis. Very impressive lights.

Goodbye, Virginia.

Don't worry, Pumpkin.

I am going to put an end to this once and for all!

There's no need to cry.

I'm not crying! Ugh!

A full-blown, Category 5,

Psychoplasmical Manifestation!

Last night, you were lucky to escape with your lives.

I dread to think what might have happened if I hadn't been there.

If that ghost wants a donnybrook,

Hiram Otis is gonna give him one, right on his snoot!

- Yeah, Pa, you tell him! - Yeah! Bust that ghost!

"Bust him" - I like the sound of that!

- "Bust Ghosters!" - Never mind.

The readings are very strong.

This spirit compass - my own invention -

is saying there is definitely a ghost in the house!

This is an impressive array of equipment, ma'am.

You see, Lucretia? Science!

Science'll cook this old buzzard's goose!

- Hey, look what I found. - Put that down at once!

- I wanna shoot it! - Slowly, carefully...

Outstanding! It was him.

What are you gonna do with that?

I'm going to give Johnnie Ghost both barrels

and capture it like a ratin a trap.

- How, exactly? - Simple.

Once activated, this device will function as a psychic magnet,

pinning and absorbing the spirit and trapping it in one of these.

- And then what? Then I study it of course.

Oh, I have many, many experiments planned.

Just think. A real, live specimen to work on!

Wonderful!

What? We can't do this to Sir Simon.

Yeah! He's OUR ghost.

We are the ones who should be experimenting on him.

I'm a reasonable man but he tried to blow up our family.

And I don't take too kindly to that.

Right then, pop this on. Plug that in.

Snappity-snap, eyes of a hunter.

That is one strange lady.

- I kinda like it. - Me too.

- Hiram! - Sorry, dear.

Tally-ho!

So, how many ghosts have you actually caught?

Technically, this will be my first.

But fear not, I know exactly what I'm doing.

This way! The game's afoot...

..the spirit compass never lies.

On we go!

That's a cupboard. This way!

No... No... This way!

Does she know what she's doing?

Kent, Louis...

..much as it pains me to say this: I need your help.

Just give me a moment.

- Um, which way? Which way? - This way!

- I can smell him! - I say, come back with that!

Hey, weird lady, the readings are very strong down here.

Really? Wait for me. Phantom ahoy!

Sir Simon! Sir Simon! Where could he be?

- In here, everyone! - In the kitchen.

Ah-ha!

Oh! That's our housekeeper.

Well, she shouldn't sneak up on me like that.

He's on the move. Come on!

This way!

Mrs. Umney, are you alright?

Perfectly fine. Thank you, ma'am.

Sir Simon? Where are you?

Over here! You just missed him.

No, no, he's over here.

The blighter's slippery. Like a greased pig on market day.

Sir Simon!

Are you in there? Open up! You're in danger!

With the wind and the rain

A foolish thing was but a toy

Sir Simon? For the rain it raineth...

Sir Simon!

..every day

Ghost! In there!

- Ah-ha! Stand aside please. - Boys, stay here.

- Okay, Pa. - No problem.

- Boys? - Hi, Pa.

Please hand me that chair.

It was him!

A great while ago the world begun

With hey-ho hey-ho The wind and the rain

Our play is done

Sir Simon!

And we strive to please...

- Virginia? - That awful woman's here again.

She wants to trap you, do experiments!

- You have to run! - Run? Where?

I'm so very tired, Virginia.

I haven't slept in 300 years.

I... I miss sleep.

Right! onwards! I have his sulfuric odor in my nostrils!

Uh, that was me.

I miss my Eleanor.

She was a Cheshire too, you know, like your young man.

Why do you hate them so much?

It was my wife's uncle,

the Old Duke of Cheshire, who accused me of her murder.

He wanted me out of the way so he could lay claim

to Canterville Chase for himself.

It was Cheshire who laid the trap intended for me.

He accused me, imprisoned me.

This cell became my tomb.

Eventually, I succumbed to death.

But the fates, it seemed, had other plans for my soul.

- So, it that... - It is, alas.

That's horrible!

That's the House of Cheshire for you.

But that was 300 years ago!

Henry isn't like his ancestors. People change.

Not me! Cursed to remain in this house for all eternity.

Maybe I deserve it. If I'd been less vain, less foolish!

If I had reached Eleanor quicker.

It wasn't your fault.

We're getting close.

The needle's almost off the dial. It's unprecedented.

Mr. Otis, crank me up! To full power!

With pleasure, ma'am!

- Where's Virginia? - I dunno.

Behind this wall! It has to come down.

That's what I'm talkin' about!

Stand aside!

- They're coming!

- Let them come. - No, we have to do something.

What's this?

"When the barren almond bears!"

- Is that the prophecy? - Don't.

It was on the walled garden all along?

- It's no concern of yours. - Why didn't you say anything?

- Virginia! - What does it mean?

- Stop! - What does it do? Tell me!

It sets me free!

Then we have to go.

Ah-ha! I have you now.

Right in the Hamptons.

Hiram!

But there's no one here.

Uh, sometimes ghosts are invisible, Mom.

Come on!

Over here, Ma.

Where did they go? Slipped the net again.

Look, Hiram! It's taken Virginia. Oh!

That darned ghost has gone too far this time.

- Virginia, no!

It asks too heavy a price.

We have to try.

"When a little girl can ask for freedom from the Angel's grasp."

- Please, don't. "When the barren almond bears

and a golden child gives away her tears,

then will all the house be still and peace come to Canterville."

But what does it mean?

It means that I can only be set free

if an innocent such as yourself travels with me

and begs for my forgiveness from the Grand Old Man.

"The Grand Old Man"?

Master of All Our Final Ceremonies.

Only HE can grant my release.

Then let's go.

No, Virginia! It is too perilous.

I cannot ask this of you.

You are not asking, sir. I am offering...

..to help a friend.

Virginia! - Quick!

It's just like your locket in here.

It's beautiful.

Virginia, please excuse the lateness of the hour,

but I simply could not wait.

The fact is...

..l... love you.

And I refuse to let the ghost and his ancient curse

come between us.

Yes, well, it's easy saying it in front of you, Excelsior.

- Now I have to say it to her.

Giddy up!

Virginia! Virginia!

Oh, where is she?

It's a classic ghost gambit. Old as the hills.

Oh, just you wait until I get you in my sights, you phantasmic blackguard!

Dad! Come quick!

Huh?

My love.

Ahhh! Finally got here, have you?

I was wondering when you'd show up.

You've led me a merry dance, Sir Simon.

- You two know each other? - Oh, yes.

- Who are you? - Me? I'm the gardener, ain't 1?

Someone's got to keep things tidy.

Otherwise, where would we be?

Oh, lovely. Only blooms for a day.

Shame.

Sir, I wonder if you could help us?

We've come here to find someone.

Have you now? Who's that then, my love?

Um, the Master of Ceremonies?

- Hmm? - Death.

Do you know where he might be?

Do I know where...

Well, Death's everywhere, isn't he? Hmm?

Oh!

Pleasure to meet you, Miss Virginia.

I see you've been reading my book.

Yourbook?

Wanna know how it ends?

What's wrong with her, Dad?!

- I can't feel a pulse. - Virginia!

Pumpkin.

Stop!

Ow! What's happened?

Her spirit has been taken by the ghost.

Wait! Wait! This device captures spirits and what have you, correct?

Could we not use it to draw her spirit back into her body?

Mr. Otis, to tell you the truth, I only received it this morning.

I haven't quite got the hang of it yet.

This is my daughter!

Right, well, we could give it a whirl?

Her spirit must be somewhere.

Virginia?

Sir, I humbly request that you see fit

to release Sir Simon's soul

so that he may be rejoined with his wife

and that this curse be lifted.

Please. I beg of you.

Certainly. Why not? Consider it done.

What?!

Is there anything else, my dear?

No. Thank you! Sir Simon?

I'm... free?

I'm free! At last I can be with my Eleanor.

Thank you, dear Virginia. Farewell.

Go! Back to your family!

Ah, now, huh... I'm afraid I can't allow that.

There's no going back from here.

This is the Garden of Death, see?

It's pretty much a one-way trip.

But I can't stay. I'm not dead! I'm alive!

Oh no, you were dead the moment you walked through those gates.

Weren't she, Sir Simon?

Now... here we are. This is you.

But I have plenty of time left!

Not anymore.

- No! Virginia!

Henry?

- Henry! - Virginia!

Henry?

He can't see me.

Your body cannot pass through the gates.

Only your spirit.

I'm really dead?

Look at it. Life trickles by so quickly, don't it?

People don't make the most of it.

Shame.

Henry!

Henry?

Oh dear, look at that.

That's a fast grower, that is.

No! You shall not claim her!

Do you challenge me, sir?

- L do, sir. To a duel! - L see.

And if I win, we both go free.

Ah-hah! But if I win, she dies

and you shall remain in this garden forever.

A permanent addition, neither dead nor in heaven,

with your wife.

- L accept your terms. - Sir Simon, no!

Excellent! Let's be having you, then.

No time like the present! Whoops, hang on a mo...

Ha! That's better.

You didn't think I was going to fight you like that, did you?

I'd be out of puff in seconds. Shall we?

Then lay on and damned be him who first cries hold, enough!

Ready... I think. I suppose I should aim... up?

Come on, Pumpkin, wherever you are.

Turn it on!

Anything? Again! Do it again!

What's this? "When a little girl

can ask for freedom from the Angel's grasp..."

Are you insane?

I am Death! You cannot beat me.

Don't you realize how many people I've killed?

Everyone!

Well, I, sir, have played the greatest swordsman of the stage.

And, what's more, I've had 300 years to practice!

I like a spirited opponent. But don't let it go to your head!

Oh! Ha-hah!

A hit! A palpable hit!

Sir Simon, look out!

Another hit. What say you, sir?

What?!

Ohhh!

Uh-oh.

Still nothing!

Hiram, stop this!

No! Science WILL save her! It has to. Again! More power!

- Yeah, more power! - No!

Enough! This stops. Now.

I say, I thought this was to be a fair fight.

If there's one thing I can't abide,

it's someone who refuses to die!

That would beme, Sir.

Look at you, Sir Simon. What are you? An aberration?

A ghost? It will not do.

The books must be balanced.

- And I will balance them.

You leave him alone!

You dare challengeme?

What the heck, I'm dead anyway.

Virginia!

Oh boy!

Henry?!

You really do get yourself into some scrapes, don't you?

You can fence?

Of course I can fence! I went to Eton.

You shouldn't have come! Being here in this place...

- ..it means you're dead! - What?

- I'm sorry!

Oh please. Spare me.

Henry!

- You leave him alone!

Well, if I am dead,

there's no one I'd rather spend eternity with.

You see, Virginia...

..I'm afraid... I love you.

What?

Aw, what a lovely couple. United forever.

Coo-ee! Up here.

Hey, Sir Simon, catch!

Virginia!

- I'm alright. - Ah-hah!

And you, young man. Thank you.

Happy to help.

Perhaps not all Cheshires are the same.

Oh, I think not.

The O/aDuke of Cheshire!

Hello again.

Ahhh!

Now I get to kill you all over again.

My love.

It's me.

Eleanor?

Yes, my love.

You are not my Eleanor!

- Ah!

Oh...

No!

Very impressive. It seems we have a draw.

What?

Virginia is free to go. As are you, young man.

But as you did not beat me, Sir Simon, you must remain here.

Forever.

No, you can't! Please.

Do not be sad, Virginia.

These last few weeks have been the happiest I've had

for 300 years.

I'm sorry, Eleanor.

Well, that's that.

Goodbye, Virginia. Henry.

- Please, no! - Until we meet again.

Come on, Virginia.

Wake up, sis, please! Wake up.

I'll never play another prank!

My... Pumpkin.

- Virginia! - Oh, my darling!

You're back! She's back!

Impossible.

Pal

Pumpkin! My Pumpkin! You're back.

- L knew she'd be fine. - Yeah, me too!

Wait! Sir Simon...

Oh!

It's all over now, Pumpkin. You're safe.

All he wanted...

..was to be with his wife.

When a little girl can ask

for freedom from the Angel's grasp,

when the barren almond bears,

and a golden child gives away her tears,

then shall all the house be still

and peace come to Canterville.

Hmm? Oh... Ahhh!

- Virginia! - Sir Simon!

I hope you're looking forward to an eternity

in a glass jar, you fiend!

Oh yeah!

It was us!

Simon!

Eleanor!

Thank you, my dear Virginia.

What took you so long?

"There are more things in heaven and earth

than are dreamt of in my philosophy."

Hamlet! Ish...

Very good, Mr. Otis. There's hope for you yet!

That's better.

Everything's in its proper place.

If there's one thing I can't abide, it's a loose end.

Now you remember, young miss: time trickles by so fast.

You be sure to make the most of it.

- Oh!

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

Ooh! I want it! I've got it!

Oh yesss!

Let's go have an adventure.

Right-o! Huh!

Bye, Virginia!

Are you crying, dear?

No!

Oh, darn it! Yes I am. Love you, Pumpkin!

And now the house is calm and still...

..for peace has come to Canterville.

- It was the ghost!

We don't have a ghost anymore, Kent!

It was Louis!