Original subtitles

Will, take the shot!

Take the fucking shot!

Well, New York, it's a great day.

The Covid Killer is dead.

He was shot by Detective Will Jordan.

But the bad news is the Copycat Covid Killer

is still out there,

and he's much more of a vicious killer than Covid ever was.

He doesn't only kill at night.

He kills in broad daylight.

So please stay inside and lock your doors.

So this is a bit of interesting news this morning.

Today is the one year anniversary

of the Covid Killer's death.

And it seems that the Covid Killer has built up

quite the fan base in the year since his death.

He is currently trending all over social media.

I guess he got what he wanted, notoriety.

Too bad I can't say the same about the Copycat Covid Killer.

No one has spoken a word about that guy since,

well, right now.

In other news, the new Omicron variant is on the rise.

So when you get the chance, please get vaccinated

so we can get this pandemic under control.

Speaking of vaccines, you should also get your flu shot.

The holidays are coming up

and you sure don't want to get sick

and miss all the good food

your family and friends are cooking up.

I sure don't.

Hey!

What do we got here?

An albino gorilla.

Take out your wallet and give me all the money

you've got in your pockets, man.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I think he's retarded.

Hey, we don't need to be politically incorrect.

We don't say retard. We say mentally challenged.

I don't give a fuck what he is.

As long as he gives us his fuckin' money.

Yeah, white boy.

Give us your money so you can leave.

Yeah, you could be on your way.

To the zoo 'cause you're a filthy fuckin' animal!

You think this is a fuckin' game?

You mad that I knocked down your candy?

Oh, shit!

What the fuck was that?!

Holy shit, bro!

Holy shit, man! You see that?

Let's go do this, man!

Oh, shit!

Oh!

So, what's going on here?

Well, from what I can gather,

it looks like these three gentlemen

tried to rob that individual over there

and they were unsuccessful.

Huh.

Unsuccessful is an understatement.

To say the least.

So did Doughboy over there

supply you with this information

or did you just Sherlock Holmes this shit?

Come on, Cap.

You know we Sherlock Holmes this shit.

We're the dynamic dual.

So has the victim spoken at all yet?

Not a word.

Think he's in shock?

He's in shock?

Right.

Okay.

Okay.

Take that man to the hospital

and take the three stooges here to the morgue.

Oh, and be sure that you send an officer

to keep an an eye on El Gigante over there.

Well, there's something about this whole scenario

that rubs me the wrong way.

So what's this?

I don't know.

Those items were just lying on the ground

when we got to the scene.

Do you think they're relevant to the case?

What do you think?

I don't know.

Everything is relevant to a crime scene, my dear Watson.

Everything!

Bring these items to my office immediately!

Ugh.

Yeah, hold on.

Yeah, wait.

Kayla, your count.

We have a slight bump on down. Ready?

Hey, don't touch.

You're only going to aggravate it.

Damn, girl.

If looks could kill, you'd be dead.

Be nice.

You just relax, okay?

And everything's fine.

So this is it?

Yes.

You never told us how he killed her.

Why?

What do you mean why?

He's a serial killer.

They kill anybody.

Not always.

He was mad at my grandma

just because he bumped into her in a gas station

and she called him stupid.

So you've seen him?

Yes.

Cool.

I called him stupid too

because he was big, mean, and ugly!

So how did he kill her?

One night he followed her home.

She forgot to lock the door

and then he bashed her head with a big hammer!

Dang. That's messed up.

But don't worry, Bobby.

The cops will get that son a of a bitch.

Excuse me, young man.

Do you think you should be cursing?

Mind your damn business, lady!

Really?

This is my place of business.

Get the fuck outta here!

At the stroke of midnight when the blood moon's bright,

casting the wickedest spell,

summoning the Covid Killer from Hell.

The resurrection has begun for the unholy one!

Unholy one!

You paid the price with your bloody sacrifice.

Chanting from the book, suddenly the earth shook.

When the rituals is done, we will have some fun.

Here is where evil dwells in the deepest of all wells!

In the deepest of all wells!

Later on in the dead of night,

this pentagram shall resurrect the Covid Killer

by the blood moon's light!

By the blood moon's light!

So how are we doing today?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Dr. Frueger.

I'm your primary physician here at St. Mary's Hospital.

Your name is

John Doe.

Huh.

Seems we have no information on you whatsoever.

We can start with your name.

What's your name?

How am I supposed to treat you, Mr. Doe,

if I don't know anything about you or your medical history?

Huh?

I understand now what I'm dealing with.

Good day, Mr. Doe.

Nurse will be in here shortly.

Hello.

Hello.

How are you doing?

Oh, I'm exhausted. Lotta work.

I know the feeling well.

You're beautiful.

Oh.

So how old are you?

It's impolite to ask a lady how old are they.

That is true.

I'm ageless.

10 years from now I'm still going to be look like this.

Can you give me something?

What would you like?

I like black coffee.

Strong, strong, strong.

Black coffee.

Anything else?

Yes.

I love surprises.

Surprise coming right up.

Yeah, take your time.

You have all the time in the world. Go!

I will take my time.

Go, Go!

Shh.

Relax, relax.

Relax.

Relax.

I sense something off with you.

You're different.

But our world is beautiful because we're all different.

How was your childhood?

Your parents loved you?

It's okay.

Somehow I understand you're perfect.

Your pain.

But now you're safe.

You're in a safe place.

I will take good care of you, okay?

You just relax.

Trust me.

What's up, Ma?

Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah, anybody here heard from Will Jordan recently?

Nope.

You know I don't speak to Will anymore.

Yeah, yeah, I know that.

But have you at least seen him in the last couple of days?

No. Why?

Well, because he hasn't reported to work

for the past few days and nobody's heard from him.

Well, if we hear from him, we'll let you know.

Okay.

I'm assuming that's for me.

Oh, yeah.

Take these items to forensics

and have them analyze them for fingerprints.

Okay.

Oh, there's one more thing.

What?

You guys are now permanent.

What do you mean permanent?

Meaning that you are permanent partners.

Awesome!

I mean, come on.

You've been partners on and off for like a year.

I mean, this guy has been all over the place.

I think he's partnered with every cop in this precinct.

I wonder why.

Because I'm cool.

Yeah, right.

Well, the higher ups are tired of you

ping ponging all over the place,

so you guys are officially hitched.

Hey, congratulations!

Thank you, Captain, and congratulations to you too.

Get the fuck outta here, Healy.

Healy, come on.

Where's your other glove?

I need two?

Stop babying him, Nancy.

But he needs help.

He always needs help.

Let me deal with it.

What seems to be the problem, Mr. Doe?

Three days and you still can't speak.

What am I supposed to do?

Guess what it is that you want?

What's that?

Oh, you want strawberries, huh?

Well, strawberries it is.

Everything's coming up strawberries.

Strawberries.

Yum, yum, yum.

Yum, yum, yum.

Strawberries.

Strawberries.

Everything okay in there, doctor?

Yes, yes.

Everything's fine.

Go to sleep, quiet one.

Better to sleep than to weep.

Sweet nightmares, Mr. Doe.

Sweet nightmares.

I'd trip him so that when he falls,

I could jump on top of him

and bash his head with his hammer.

Are you freaking nuts?

That's stupid.

No, it's not.

It's a great plan.

You really think you're gonna kill this guy?

You're like eight years old. You can't do this.

Why not?

Well, for one, killing is wrong.

Even if he is a bad guy.

And two, you're a kid.

Copycat's a big guy.

He'd squash you like a bug!

Plus, how are you gonna find him?

You don't know where he lives.

I don't, but I've seen him one time at the cemetery

where my grandma's at.

He was in the back staring at a tombstone.

When he left, I went over to the tombstone.

It was the Covid Killer's tombstone!

So you guys are not gonna help me?

We'll help you, Bobby.

What? Are you loco?

But not to kill him. To trap him.

Then we'll call the police.

♪ One, two crazy clowns comin' for you ♪

♪ Three, four, you better lock your door ♪

I know, I know. It's not my song.

Copyrights.

But I got my own song.

Fuck you, Freddy.

♪ You can't hide and you can't run ♪

♪ 'Cause Krazy Klowny wants to have some fun ♪

♪ Chopping and grinding to the bone ♪

♪ I'm not ET, you can't phone home ♪

Oh, you don't like the atmosphere?

How 'bout a change of scenery?

♪ Now I lay you down to bed ♪

♪ Before I cut off your bloody head ♪

It's Krazy Klowny time, kids!

You think I need that ax to kill you?

That's just for show.

All I need are these bare hands.

I lied.

I did need the ax.

Are you okay?!

Relax.

I told you you're safe here!

Just breathe, please.

Told you I'm taking care of you.

Don't worry.

Oh, look, it's Beauty and the Beast.

But don't let anyone ever call you Beast, Nancy.

Doctor, be nice.

For a guy who can't speak,

you sure have a way with the ladies.

What do you say, Nurse Lori?

Is he also your type?

No. I don't do ugly.

Unlike you, Mr. Doe.

I dabble in pain.

Doctor!

Nance!

Stay in your fuckin' lane.

Nurse Lori, can you please get someone

to clean up Mr. Doe's restroom?

Looks like he shit himself again and left it everywhere.

Right away, Dr. Frueger.

Oh!

You're a disgusting piece of garbage.

Shh.

It's okay. It's okay.

Shh.

Shh.

Hey, go see what your boy did in the bathroom.

No, not again.

Damn, boy, what'd you eat?

Wanna tell me something?

What's up?

What's the deal with the Kit Kat?

I like it.

You like it?

Yeah, it makes for a good combination

with the Simply Lemonade.

What's the deal, Ma?

I know you didn't call us here

to talk about your two favorite snacks.

Well, sorta.

The print analysis for my new favorite snacks is ready.

So cross reference them with the three amigos

from the crime scene.

Okay, I could do that.

Anything else?

I'm good, Ma. Thank you.

I'll see you later.

What are you doing?

Hey.

Your mom's a real funny lass.

Yeah, she's a real fuckin' comedian.

What are you doing?

Get your Sasquatch ass off the-

What the fuck do you think you're doing, huh?!

♪ Well I asked my woman what could I do ♪

♪ To give her happy the whole night through ♪

♪ She said the only thing I want from you ♪

♪ Is a little, little bit of your big bamboo ♪

♪ She likes a big, big bamboo ♪

♪ Bamboo ♪

♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪

♪ Working for the Yankee dollar ♪

♪ When I give my woman some sugar cane ♪

♪ Sweet for my sweet, I did explain ♪

♪ She give it back, to my surprise ♪

♪ She said she like flavor but not the size ♪

♪ She likes a big, big bamboo ♪

♪ Bamboo ♪

♪ Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay ♪

We got the prints.

Okay, and?

There are two fingerprints on the evidence items.

The first one is unknown,

which I'm assuming belongs to the guy who survived

because they don't match any of the three dead guys

from the crime scene.

Now brace yourself, Ma, because the second print is a doozy.

All right, come on, let it out.

This ain't a fuckin' game show.

The second print belongs to Will Jordan.

Will Jordan?

Yep.

Holy cow.

How?

Okay.

Go to Will's apartment right now.

Okay.

And Brock.

What?

Hurry.

They don't call me the Flash for nothing.

Yeah, then go, vamoose!

Get in.

Oh, shoot.

Hey, Brock!

You're gonna wanna come see this!

You know Will and I didn't always see eye to eye,

but he was my friend.

I was hanging out with him two weeks ago.

I know you guys had your differences,

but me and Will, we were cool, man.

We gotta get this Copycat son of a bitch.

Copycat? What are you talking about?

I thought the guy in the hospital did this.

The guy in the hospital is Copycat.

Oh.

You think?

Healy.

Call my mom.

Tell her about Will.

I'm gonna comb the room.

Okay. But do you have a comb?

What?

I said, do you have a comb?

To comb the apartment?

Healy, call my mom!

Oh, okay.

Hello, Captain?

This is Healy.

Yeah, yeah. Did you find Jordan?

Yeah, we found him.

Oh, good. How's he doing?

He's dead.

What?

He's dead.

Oh.

Hello, Cap?

Cap?

Yeah, yeah.

What do you want us to do?

Go directly to St. Mary's Hospital.

I got an officer stationed outside that psychopath's door.

I'm gonna tell him to wait there until you guys get there

and arrest Copycat.

Okay, Cap.

And hurry!

Cap said-

To head straight to St. Mary's Hospital.

How'd you know that?

Because that's where Copycat is.

Oh, yeah.

Hey.

Dispatch.

Dispatch, this is Detective Brock Callahan.

Please warn Detective Rod

that the patient that he is guarding

is in fact the Copycat Covid Killer.

Tell him to do not engage.

I repeat do not engage.

He is very dangerous.

Yes, tell him to wait for backup.

Wait for backup. Do not engage.

Look who it is, Mulder and Scully.

Shit. LOL.

What, you lost so many brain cells

you speak in acronyms now?

You think you're a funny guy, Brock,

but this crazy Mexican don't take from a Boricua.

I ain't no punk ass bitch.

Hey, chill out.

Excuse me, George Lopez.

I got a case to solve and a killer to catch.

Bendejo Flash.

What's her deal? She dead too?

She's just unconscious. I was just gonna try-

Where the fuck?!

Wake her.

Who are you?

You okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

But he just killed her.

Yeah, I noticed that.

But what happened to Detective Rod?

I don't know.

I think I found him.

Damn!

Talk about having a bad day.

Everybody around this guy died.

Except for her.

Frueger.

Dr. Frueger.

What?

He is after Dr. Frueger.

Who the fuck is Dr. Frueger?

Dr. Frueger!

His doctor!

His doctor! Dr. Frueger!

Go get her! Go after her!

I got her!

Hey, get over here!

Okay, what's the story?

We got here too late.

He's gone.

He killed Detective Rod and a nurse.

Motherfucker!

Damn, she got away!

Grab Blake and Sanchez and come straight here.

All right.

Holy shit.

Wanna see a real crime scene,

you gotta check out the bathroom.

More bodies?

Nope. There's shit everywhere.

Looks like a giant's ass exploded.

He's not just a serial killer.

He's also a toilet bowl killer too.

Give us a moment, please.

Thank you.

Everybody come in and take a seat.

Healy, close the door.

Okay.

Healy.

Sit the fuck down.

The reason I called you here

is because this Copycat Covid Killer bullshit

has got to stop.

It's gotten outta hand.

I mean, on top of this lunatic

walking around killing people, including two of our own,

well, now we got a weird bunch of people

that are calling themselves the Covid Cult.

The Covid Cult?

Yeah. Yeah.

This organization's sole purpose

is to resurrect the Covid Killer.

Come on, Cap.

I know you don't believe in all that stuff.

Fuck no.

But I know that there are people out there that do believe.

If we don't put a stop to this,

they are gonna start influencing these people

into committing a lot of crimes to the point

where we won't have the manpower to stop them.

This is where you guys come in.

I want Healy and Brock to stay on the Copycat case

as the lead detectives.

And I want Blake and Sanchez

to stay on the Covid Cult investigation.

Any questions?

I'm good. Can I leave?

You two can.

Blake and Sanchez stay.

So...

What's up, Cap?

We got a tip that this cult

has been spending a lot of time at St. Michael's Cemetery,

right next to the grave of the Covid Killer.

If you could catch these individuals,

we could charge them with desecration of a grave site

and put an end to this whole fiasco.

Sounds like a plan.

Go get those guys.

We got this, Cap.

Welcome back to another exciting episode

of "Late Night with Graham and Edie."

I'm your host, Graham Jones.

And I'm Edie Carmichael.

And we have a lot of exciting news you don't want to miss.

But first, the murder rate is on the rise in New York State.

I bet you thought that when the Covid Killer died

that the murders would stop.

Well, you thought wrong.

Just as there's a new variant of the Covid virus,

there's also a new variant of the Covid Killer.

This is a new Copycat Covid Killer.

The Copycat Covid Killer is much like the Omicron variant

in many ways.

Much weaker, pathetic, and ineffective.

The Copycat Covid Killer.

I mean, what a joke,

to steal another serial killer's identity.

So pathetic.

I know. Serial killers in general are pathetic.

They only do it for the attention.

But to copy another serial killer?

That's just pitiful.

I know, like, get your own identity, you big idiot!

Well, in other news,

another serial killer causing mayhem

in the streets of New York is the infamous Clown Killer,

who once again butchered an old man walking home.

Cool mask.

You like skeletons?

Okay.

That'll be $10.80.

Do you want your change?

You don't talk much, do you?

Asshole.

Wow, what a great funeral.

Right, Jimmy?

Yeah, but nobody calls me that anymore.

Yeah, I know.

But since it's a special occasion,

I figured maybe we can call each other

by the nicknames we had when we first met.

You, me, and Will.

Okay, Bagels.

That's the spirit, Jimmy.

I knew I'd get a smile outta you.

Pull over. I wanna show you something.

Okay.

Wow.

Is this for us?

Yeah.

I wanna make a toast in memory of a Will B. S. Jordan.

A non-alcoholic toast?

Well, we are two recovering alcoholics.

This is true.

You see that?

That's peace.

Will used to bring me here all the time and tell me that.

I never knew what he meant by that until now.

Well, now he's resting in peace.

You know, you never told me

why Will and you stopped talking.

He filed a report against me,

claiming I was a corrupt, racist cop.

What?

Why would he do that?

It was a misunderstanding.

This happened during the summer of the Covid Killer Fiasco.

We got a report on the radio that a woman was being mugged

on Zerega Avenue in the Bronx.

My partner and I were in the area, so we checked it out.

When we get there, there's a woman there,

she's pointing at a man and she's screaming,

"The Covid Killer! The Covid Killer!"

so we chased after the guy and we apprehended him.

Will Jordan, super cop, arrives on the scene

and thinks we're profiling the perp because he's black.

Get the hell outta here.

I will admit that I did use an unnecessary amount

of excessive force.

But you gotta understand,

we were under a lot of pressure from Mayor de Blasio

to catch the Covid Killer by any means necessary.

Those were his exact words.

It didn't help that my stupid ass drunk druggie partner

was wearing a MAGA hat when Will arrived on the scene.

You know what's funny?

What?

It wasn't even hers.

She took it off the perp and put it on her head like a joke.

So Will arrests me and my partner and lets the criminal go.

He arrested you? Like with handcuffs?

No, with fuckin' peanut butter.

Of course with handcuffs.

Anyway, you wouldn't believe what happens next.

What?

The real Covid Killer pops up outta nowhere.

Dang.

It was so weird.

He just appeared on the scene like a ghost.

What did Will do?

Him and his partner chased after the Covid Killer.

That was that.

He never apologized to me.

That's the way Will was.

I'm sure he would apologize to me eventually,

but he's never gonna get that chance now.

'Cause of this fuckin' Copycat.

Don't worry, Brock.

We'll catch him.

We'll catch him.

Voorhees?

No, Bates.

How you doing?

My name's Detective Blake.

That's my partner, Detective Sanchez.

We spoke over the phone.

Yes, yes, right.

So you want to hear about the the six weirdos

that were hanging around The Covid Killer's grave site?

Yeah.

Follow me.

But like I told you over the phone, there's not much to say.

The other afternoon, I was coming back early

from my lunch break and I see these six people

leaving Victor's grave site

and they were all dressed up in these matching hooded robes.

Did you speak to them?

No, they creeped me out and they left.

Did you ever see 'em again?

No.

Look, behind you.

Look over there.

Excuse me. Can we ask you people some questions?

Hey, come back here!

They're pretty fast.

Or we're really slow.

Man, I'm no spring chicken, but what's your problem?

Let's get outta here, man.

Looks like your boy hero done sold us out.

Okay, what does that fuckin' mean?

Okay, we paid him good fuckin' money to keep his mouth shut.

Oh, yeah.

Oops.

What do you mean, "Oops?"

I kind of forgot to pay him.

Okay, wait a second.

Are you saying kinda, or you didn't?

Well, I was about to go pay that son of a bitch,

but I forgot I hadn't sharpened my kaiser blade.

Steve. Oh my God.

Steven, you're fuckin' sharpening your fuckin' blade.

What does that have anything to do

with paying fuckin' Harold?

Well, I figured if things went south,

I might have to use it to cut him.

What?

What do you mean?

What do you mean go south?

He's a groundskeeper.

He's not a fuckin' FBI agent!

And he's taken our money before.

Don't call my blade stupid.

What?

I said don't you call-

Oh. Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

No, I heard what fucking you said,

but it's fucking ridiculous.

In fact, you know what?

You can go fuckin' sharpen your goddamn motherfuckin' blade

and you can shove it up your fuckin' redneck ass!

Oh, snap!

Bitch.

Your blade is stupid.

All right, let's go.

Okay?

And next time we're coming at night

so we don't confront the fuzz.

Not this malarkey again.

Same shit, different day.

Hey, Nat.

Hey, Bryan. You're here early today.

We got some new girls auditioning.

We just opened up.

Though it's just me.

I'll take care of you.

No worries, Natasha.

Right now all I need is a drink.

Don't worry, sweetie.

I got you.

Follow me.

Oh, Natasha, I'll follow you anywhere.

You're gassing me.

Nah, you're hot.

You tell that to all the girls.

Well, every girl here is super hot.

Oh, so now they're super hot.

What the fuck am I, chopped liver?

Come on, now. You know what I mean.

Whatever, Bryan.

I'm just gonna go and shake my non-super hot ass on stage.

So, is that super hot enough for you, Bryan?

Of course, Nat. You're the shit.

No. Horseshit.

Look, look. Come on, Nat.

Delicious, you're here!

Come here.

So this is the infamous Bryan.

I want you to take him back and show him a good time.

Oh, Bryan.

It will be my pleasure.

I've been waiting to tackle you, Bryan.

Oh yeah? I bet you have.

Yeah.

Oh yeah. Come sit on Daddy's lap.

Right here.

All the girls say that you have the biggest

wallet.

Hey, yeah, yeah.

I have other big things too, if you know what I mean.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Well, let's see.

You like it, big Daddy?

Oh, yeah, Mami.

Do you want me to turn around?

Oh, hell yeah, Mami,

let me see that gorgeous face of yours.

You're my little bitch, right?

Oh, yes.

I'm your bitch.

All right.

I'm gonna make you come so hard

you're gonna scream like a little bitch.

Yeah, that's what I like to hear.

Oh, yeah.

Ooh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, oh, yeah. I like that.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Damn, you actually screamed like a little bitch!

So this motherfucker disrespected me, right?

So I picked up my shit, I hit him over the head.

Bang!

Went straight down.

And I said, "Let that be a lesson to you, Crooked Eye."

Crooked Eye. I love that guy.

Every time you tell the story, Guchedo,

it just keeps getting better and better.

What the fuck you doing here, pig?

Want me to unload this gun in your cabeza?

Yeah, yeah, you're gonna unload your little gun

into my quesadilla.

Go sit down, minions.

Okay, okay, okay.

Calm down, now. Calm down.

Me and Detective Healy, we're compadres now.

No, you go and take care of business.

What's up, Captain?

That's not my name anymore. I'm The Terrorist.

You're a terrorist?

No! I'm not a terrorist.

I'm The Terrorist.

That's my new gang name.

Your new gang name? What are you talking about?

You used to be the captain of the police force

and now you look like a disgusting pervert.

And you look like Porky Pig, motherfucker.

Yo, guys, guys, guys.

Let's keep it real with the Shmeal.

Look who it is, my favorite gringo.

Rockstar, cop wannabe.

Oh, stop.

You're making me blush.

You know that I love you.

Even though you're a pig.

You know you're my favorite gangbanger.

That's kingpin gangbanger to you, Porky.

Look who's talking.

Go sit down, you pipsqueak shrimp!

Okay, let's have a drink.

Get him a chair.

Sure.

You're not gonna kill me though, right?

Yo, Healy.

Yeah?

You got any brown sugar?

No. What do you want brown sugar for?

I don't know, let's see, my coffee.

Why would I carry brown sugar around in my pocket for?

Fuck it, I don't know.

So you want a shotgun, right?

I need a sawed off shotgun.

Oh, yeah, you told me on the phone.

Take care of him.

So what do you need a shotgun for?

I have to take care of a very big man.

Very big man like yourself?

Yeah, get the fuck outta here, Porky.

We'll use the rope.

Now!

Oh my God. I think we killed him.

We didn't kill him. He probably just passed out.

He's old. That's what they do.

They pass out.

He didn't pass out.

We knocked him the fuck out!

We should call the cops.

I don't wanna get in trouble!

Don't worry, Bobby.

You're not going to.

Later on in the dead of night,

this pentagram shall resurrect the Covid Killer

by the blood moon's light!

By the blood moon's light!

No! Do not touch that mask.

Why? It's a cool mask.

I want it.

No, Steven.

Because that mask must remain untouched

in order for the rituals to work.

Yes, Empress Edie.

No, shut up, Steven!

I am the empress.

I am the necromancer.

The necromancer!

We're closed.

Sorry, buddy.

We're closed.

Listen, buddy, you're starting to creep me out.

You gotta get the fuck outta here.

Do you want something?

Please don't kill me.

I'm sorry I called you an asshole.

I'm a rude person. I'm sorry!

Six feet!

I don't mean to be disrespectful,

but I've caught Covid before

and I am not trying to catch that shit again.

No worries. I understand.

Cool.

But wow, you guys actually came.

Why wouldn't we?

Because nobody believes me.

I get calls all the time from people who claim to be cops,

and then when I go to open the door,

I get a bag of shit thrown in my face.

I know that feeling.

Well, we are real cops.

And I want to believe you

because if what you're saying is true,

that leads us one step closer

to catching the Copycat Covid Killer.

Well, I am telling the truth.

Like I said in my video, I don't have any proof,

but I can tell you exactly what I've seen.

Go ahead.

I was looking out my window.

My boy Floyd was sitting right here

and the stripper lady was right-

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

There was a man sitting here?

Yeah. Why?

Well, because that's another witness

that was actually outside and not looking through a window.

Well, yeah, but that guy's gone.

What do you mean gone?

He disappeared right after that incident.

That's weird.

Stay weird.

Just finish the story.

So like I was saying,

stripper lady who lives over there in N5

was talking on her phone.

She looked like she was trying to find her keys.

She looked scared.

Then right when she found her keys,

the Covid Killer came out of nowhere.

I don't know if she saw him,

but she jetted right into her apartment.

I thought it was gonna attack her, but he didn't.

He just walked right by.

It was so strange.

But what was even stranger was right after that,

Copycat Killer came out of nowhere

and walked right into her place and closed the door.

And I guess that's when he killed her.

That is a very strange story.

Almost unbelievable.

See, I knew it.

I knew you weren't gonna believe me.

You're not gonna throw a bag of shit at me, right?

No.

I'm just trying to understand their relationship.

Did it look like they knew each other?

Well, and I'm just guessing here,

I don't think that Covid saw Copycat,

but Copycat had to have seen Covid walk by the lady.

Yeah.

What's on your brain, partner?

Copycat wasn't copying the Covid Killer.

He was trying to outdo him.

Yeah.

He was angry.

Probably jealous.

So that means the people Copy killed

were going to be Covid's next victims.

But Copy got to them first.

For some reason, he's obsessed with the Covid Killer.

Yeah, but how did Copy know who Covid was gonna kill?

It's not like he had a list.

Serial killers usually stalk their victims

before they kill them.

So that means copy was following Covid

while he was stalking his next victims.

And since Covid only killed at night

and stalked the women during the day,

Copy had plenty of time to beat him to the punch.

Bingo.

Why do serial killers make up all these rules

they have to follow?

Like, they make it so much harder for themselves

for no reason at all.

Because they're stupid.

But Copycat's not like that.

He has no rules.

He kills anyone anywhere.

Yeah, he sure killed that bathroom back at the hospital.

Cemetery.

First thing tomorrow.

We have to check out the cemetery.

Why?

If Copy's obsessed with Covid,

he's probably gonna visit his tombstone.

Why would he do that?

Because people who have obsessions with other people

usually can't let go.

Even when the person dies.

He's probably going to visit Covid's grave

to get some closure.

Thanks for your help, Corkster.

That's my card.

You have any more information, call me.

You got it, my brother.

Oh. Oh.

Have a good day!

Just you and Graham Jones, Teddy.

Just you and I, bud.

We don't need no co-anchors.

We're gonna fist fuck this industry.

We're gonna take ourselves to the top.

Just you and I.

You ready, Teddy?

Don't worry.

I'm not gonna let Copycat get you.

All right?

We're not scared of no little copycat killer, now are we?

Fuck him.

Don't worry, buddy.

Taking all this in?

Get it up in there.

Get up there, all right?

Oh, great.

Mork and Mindy's here.

Cool! I like those guys.

What are you guys doing here?

Cap said this was our case.

We're not here for the cult.

By the way, Guillermo, shouldn't you be with Jimmy Fallon?

Jimmy Kimmel, you idiot.

Man, all those white Jimmys look the same.

Brock thinks Copy was here visiting Covid's grave.

For what?

Brock thinks Copy needs some closure.

You gonna analyze that for prints?

I already know whose prints are on that mask.

Leave that mask exactly where it's at.

I don't want the cult knowing that we came back.

Are you coming back?

No.

Copy's not coming back.

That's why he left the mask.

So there's no reason for me to return.

Okay, Batman.

Oh, I'm sorry, Flash.

Hey, Healy.

Yeah, what's up?

I heard your bandmate got attacked by Copy.

Is he okay?

Yeah, he's okay.

He just got his guitar broken, but he's okay.

He didn't get hurt or nothin', thank God.

Okay, good.

What are you still even a cop for?

If I was in a band, I wouldn't be working this shit job.

I like being a cop.

I like to help people.

See you guys later.

That guy's a fuckin' weirdo.

Nah, he's a genuinely nice guy.

I mean, a little naive, but nice.

Alright, softy.

So what's next, partner?

Stakeout?

Yep.

Day and night.

These guys are tricky.

What's that?

I found it on the floor.

By Covid's tombstone?

No, I found it over there.

That's the groundskeeper's hat.

Yeah.

When we get back, take it to the lab.

All right, partner.

I'm on it.

So then she says, "Is that your penis or what?"

You're so funny, Graham.

I know, I know.

And conceited.

Of course.

I'm Graham Jones.

I kinda like it.

So, my place or yours?

Yours.

I wanna see how the magnificent Graham Jones resides.

Of course you do.

Oh, and Betty,

you or your friend are welcome to join us tonight.

Keep trying, Graham, and maybe one day you'll get lucky.

I guess maybe you're not drunk enough tonight.

We will never be that drunk, Graham.

Just you and I.

Off we go, my fair lady.

All right, give me that.

Here you go.

Oh, wait, where are my car keys?

Oh, oh, wait.

Here they are.

Oh, excuse me, sir. My apologies.

Whoa, you're a big guy.

You're like a skyscraper.

Well, good day, sir.

Watch out for King Kong, you big vanilla gorilla.

Nice mask. That'll stop the spread.

You're so funny, Graham.

You should've been a comedian.

This just in.

Last night, two more people were brutally killed

by the ruthless Copycat Covid Killer.

And sadly, those two people were news anchors

Graham Jones and Edie Carmichael.

They worked here at DKE News.

They were my colleagues, they were my friends.

That brings the body count to 11 people

in just three short weeks.

Surveillance footage confirms

that this was indeed the Copycat Covid Killer,

who's wearing a new mask with an image

of what looked like skeleton teeth.

The media is now referring to him as the Omicron Killer,

because much like the variant disease,

this new killer is even more deadly

than his predecessor, the-

Listen, I don't give a fuck

what you Generation Alphas call this motherfucker!

You need to find him and you need to kill him!

Cut the feed, cut the feed!

I'm trying, I'm trying!

Hurry, this bitch is losing it!

I think this bitch is gonna cost us both our jobs!

Ah, fuck it!

He's a fucking disease and we need to wipe him out!

Ta-da!

Introducing the new Warlock.

Okay.

What? You don't like it?

It's fine.

But the two of you need a fucking life!

Get a fucking life!

Oh, snap!

What the fuck are you doing?!

I'm cutting the watermelon like you said.

Okay, I told you to use a knife.

Not a fuckin' sword!

It's not a sword, it's a kaiser blade.

Some folks call it a sling blade,

but I call it a kaiser blade.

You know what, Steven?

You really are a special kind of stupid!

Not as stupid as you think I am, Edith.

Yeah? Well, you know what?

Stop doing stupid shit!

Okay, so, when are we gonna do the ritual?

We're doing the ritual in a few days

when the blood moon is near.

The blood moon is near?

Yes.

And this time, we're doing it during the day

because those cops are expecting us at night.

But you just said we need to do it

when the blood moon is near.

Yes! We're doing it when it's near, okay?

We're not doing like some Hollywood bullshit

when it's out and it appears, okay, Steven?

We're doing it when it's near

because that's when it's a success.

Yes, Empress Edie.

She is the empress.

Hey, Healy.

Yeah?

Put the lights on for me.

I can't do that. It's my squad car.

But I think it's sexy.

Still, I'm a police officer and I could get in trouble.

You said after our fifth date

that you would put the lights on for me.

I said that? Really?

Yes.

This is our fifth date already?

Yes!

Wow.

Besides, it really, really, really turns me on.

Turns you on? Really?

Mm-hmm.

All right, then!

Healy, help!

What is it? What is it?

What's the matter? You all right?

No, I'm not all right.

What's the matter? I heard you scream for help.

I do need help.

I'm horny.

Oh, that's something that I can help you with.

Why don't you come over here

and show me your nine millimeter?

Let me get some of that vanilla milkshake, baby!

Sexy!

Later on in the dead of night,

this pentagram shall resurrect the Covid Killer

by the blood moon's light!

By the blood moon's light!

Everybody freeze!

Freeze!

Fuck you, motherfuckers!

Stop!

Put the gun down and we won't hurt you.

Don't get one step closer

or I'll blow your fuckin' brains out, bitch!

There's two of us and only one of you.

You know how this is gonna end.

Ah, fuck it!

Everyone, stop right there!

I'm gonna kill all you motherfuckers!

You have a right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you

in a court of law.

You have the right to an attorney.

If you cannot afford an attorney,

I have the right to put my foot up your cult's ass.

Now, motherfuckers.

You have any questions?

Sanchez, enough.

Midget, shut up!

Cindy, is that you?

Cindy?

Cindy, are you here?

Cindy?

Cindy, are you here?

Cindy, are you fucking with me?

It's not funny.

Hey, partner. What's the dealio?

My mom wants to see us right away.

I'm ready. Let's go.

Before we go, I have to use the bathroom.

Of course.

Mi casa es tu casa.

Thanks. I have to leave a shit.

Take a shit.

What?

Take a shit.

You said you gotta leave a shit.

You mean you wanna take a shit.

I'm not taking it, Healy. I'm leaving it.

Oh.

Yeah, that makes sense.

You still watch these stupid YouTube videos

we used to make?

Yes.

Are you going to work?

No.

Then why are you dressed as Krazy Klowny?

I love being a clown.

Ever since I was a little boy I wanted to be a clown.

There's something very intriguing about being a clown.

And creepy.

You mean scary.

It is.

It is scary.

So how'd your date go with Erica?

Oh, it went great.

I think I'm in love, brah!

That's good.

I'm happy for you, Healy.

Me, I'm in love with the chase.

I'm in love with putting scumbags behind bars.

Or in a fuckin' grave.

Well, someone's gotta do it.

Well, it's about time.

You guys took long enough.

Yeah, Brock had to leave a shit in my house.

What?

So what's going on?

On the phone you said it was urgent.

I think we got that motherfucker.

Who?

Omicron?

No, your fairy godmother.

Of course the Omicron.

Anyway, we got a lead from St. Mary's Hospital.

This security guard got surveillance footage

of a giant man wearing a skeleton Covid mask

entering the hospital on two separate occasions.

Oh, and he said that both times

the guy just walked around the hospital suspiciously

and then left.

And he said that the guy looked angry.

Frueger.

What?

The nurse.

The nurse said, "I think he's after Dr. Frueger."

And you're just remembering this now?

God damn it, Brock!

We could've got that son of a bitch days ago!

Ma, you gotta understand.

There was a lot going on that day.

We had just discovered Will's dead body, God rest his soul,

and then you send us to the hospital to look for Omicron.

We get there, he's gone, and killed two more people.

On top of that, I gotta deal with the Hamburglar over here.

Then Nurse Nancy wakes up freaking out.

"Omicron's after Frueger."

And then you call me on the phone, "Bring the whole crew."

It's a lot.

So, excuse me, Ma, if it kinda slipped my mind.

And let's not forget all the shit

Omicron left in the bathroom.

What?

Oh, yeah, apparently Omicron

defecated the entire bathroom with his shit before he left.

Okay.

So find out who this Dr. Frueger is and contact him.

'Cause we gotta get to him before Omicron does.

Okay.

And now listen. Listen to me.

With all the information that we now have,

there is no doubt that we are gonna catch this guy

in the next couple of days.

When you catch him and you know it's either him or you,

I want you to look him dead in the eyes and say,

"This is for Will Jordan, you variant scum,"

and then shoot that motherfucker right between the eyes!

How about I say, "Hasta la vista, baby."

No.

No.

This isn't a movie.

Just say what I told you, Brock.

If it's not a movie,

then why am I saying a cool line before I blow him away?

What if you say, "Goodbye, niño?"

What?

Why?

Why would he say that?

Because that's what "Hasta la vista, baby" actually means.

"Goodbye, niño."

So he should say, "Goodbye, niño," and then shoot him!

I'm not saying that corny ass line.

Corny?

You wanna say a cheesy line from a 90s Schwarzenegger movie

and you're calling my line corny?

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the greatest action hero

who ever lived.

Wrong. John Wayne is.

John Wayne?

Yeah.

What fuckin' meds are you on?

Your fuckin' mother's meds!

Don't talk about my mother, you fuckin' troll!

Then don't talk about my medical condition!

Stop!

Are you guys super stupid?

I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck if you say "rubber baby buggy bumpers."

Just get the son of a bitch!

Nice.

"Last Action Hero."

Brock, get the outta here and take special needs with you.

Don't worry, I'm gonna get that motherfucker.

I just wanna apologize to you, Ms. Callahan.

I got so worked up before.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean it.

Aw.

Thank you, Healy.

But I could give two shits what you say about me.

I got no feelings.

Hey, you wanna do me a favor?

Catch the Omicron Killer.

Don't worry, Cap.

When we catch the Omicron,

I'm gonna bitch slap him like he was Chris Rock.

Groovy.

Hey, big guy!

Get away from him, you bitch!

Now you got no leg to stand on!

Brock!

What cool line you gonna say now?

You have the right to remain silent.

Classic.

Anything you say can and will be used against you

in a court of law.

You have the right to an attorney.

If you can't afford an attorney,

one will be provided for you.

Do you understand these rights that I've just read to you?

With these rights in mind,

do you wish to speak and answer any questions?

Goodbye, niño.

Fat fuck!

Can't kill me, fat boy!

I'm Graham Jones, bitch!

♪ Omicron ♪

♪ Covid Psycho Killer, Killer, Killer, Killer ♪

♪ Omicron ♪

♪ Covid Psycho Killer, Killer, Killer, Killer ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ Omicron ♪

♪ Covid Psycho Killer, Killer, Killer, Killer ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ It's the most fun I ever had ♪

♪ Making people beg for their lives ♪

♪ Please don't kill me ♪

♪ Please don't kill me ♪

♪ Please don't kill me ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ Ha ha ha ha ha ♪

♪ Demented mind ♪

♪ Too many personalities ♪

♪ All at the same time ♪

♪ One crazier than the next ♪

♪ Hmm ♪

♪ Who should kill next ♪