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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,992 --> 00:00:08,609 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪ 2 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:12,514 ♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪ 3 00:00:16,873 --> 00:00:18,394 Okay, I have a brilliant plan 4 00:00:18,395 --> 00:00:20,437 that I would like to brag to you all about. 5 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,855 Tonight, 6 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,649 I will be reintroducing my parents 7 00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,693 and performing a parent trap! 8 00:00:25,694 --> 00:00:28,028 Wait, you're trying to get Rocker Mom with Hot Dog Dad? 9 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:30,656 Yeah. I think that they'd be really good together. 10 00:00:30,657 --> 00:00:32,783 She's the chili powder, he's a jar of mayo, 11 00:00:32,784 --> 00:00:34,159 and together, they're like a... 12 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,913 - An aioli. Tight! - Yes! 13 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,582 Soph, take it from Jesse and me. 14 00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:42,793 You know, parent traps are fun to watch when Lindsay Lohans do them, 15 00:00:42,794 --> 00:00:45,338 but, in reality, they only end in pain. 16 00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:49,341 - Nobody's gonna know. - How would they know? 17 00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:50,802 They knew. 18 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:54,513 Well, uh, your plan didn't work because you guys were dumb babies. 19 00:00:54,514 --> 00:00:55,890 But my plan is foolproof 20 00:00:55,891 --> 00:00:58,309 because I got us a sexy dinner rez, 21 00:00:58,310 --> 00:01:00,394 and I requested a hot but forgettable waiter. 22 00:01:00,395 --> 00:01:03,856 You know, just to add, like, an air of nondescript lust to the evening. 23 00:01:03,857 --> 00:01:07,944 Also, I got a harpist on Yelp whose name is Harper. I know! 24 00:01:08,403 --> 00:01:10,654 And finally, I'll be bringing Val for moral support. 25 00:01:10,655 --> 00:01:12,531 You are? Oh, yes! 26 00:01:12,532 --> 00:01:15,409 Finally, I'm getting a free parent dinner from this friendship. 27 00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:17,745 I'll be all, "No, no, no. I'll pay for mine." 28 00:01:17,746 --> 00:01:20,122 And they'll be all, "No, it's our pleasure." 29 00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:23,543 And I'll be all, " Oh, my God, thank you." 30 00:01:24,044 --> 00:01:26,170 And while you're feasting on free calamari, 31 00:01:26,171 --> 00:01:28,255 my parents will be falling for each other. 32 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:29,757 And then, we'll finally get to do everything 33 00:01:29,758 --> 00:01:32,134 on my "I finally have a family" bucket list. Like... 34 00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:35,138 Like apple picking, and three-seat bicycle riding, and... 35 00:01:35,722 --> 00:01:37,431 Oh, my God, family portraits at JCPenney. 36 00:01:37,432 --> 00:01:39,226 I've already been practicing my pose. 37 00:01:42,938 --> 00:01:45,648 ♪ Putting up a sheet wall, wall ♪ 38 00:01:45,649 --> 00:01:48,859 ♪ Wall, I hope it doesn't fall, fall, fall... ♪ 39 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:50,362 I wish I was dead! 40 00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:54,616 Sid. What are you doing here? 41 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,911 I can't do my Ariana Grande impression for you right now. 42 00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:00,914 Okay, fine. 43 00:02:01,665 --> 00:02:02,665 Yuhhh. 44 00:02:02,666 --> 00:02:05,293 Wow. I mean, it's really like she's in the room. 45 00:02:06,753 --> 00:02:08,004 But uh... 46 00:02:08,547 --> 00:02:11,383 I'm not here for that. - Oh? What's up? 47 00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:14,176 Uh, well, nothing. Just, um... 48 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:17,180 - Uh... - Sid! 49 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:21,226 Do you wanna confide in me about something that's been weighing on you? 50 00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:24,186 That's cute as hell! 51 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,522 Okay, fine. It's Jesse. 52 00:02:26,523 --> 00:02:29,108 Like, I need him to move out, and he just doesn't get it. 53 00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:32,487 ♪ It's just... a little brush! ♪ 54 00:02:33,947 --> 00:02:35,823 - Mm, hey, um. - Yeah? 55 00:02:35,824 --> 00:02:39,535 So, Hannah's moving back to New York in a couple of weeks, 56 00:02:39,536 --> 00:02:43,038 and we should really talk about living arrangements. 57 00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:44,582 Oh. Um... 58 00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:46,959 Okay, but won't she just sleep in your room? 59 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,212 I know what you're thinking. I need to be direct. 60 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,464 Actually... 61 00:02:51,965 --> 00:02:53,675 direct doesn't always work either. 62 00:02:54,593 --> 00:02:57,094 Charlie? I'm an independent woman, 63 00:02:57,095 --> 00:02:58,721 and I wanna live by myself. 64 00:02:58,722 --> 00:03:00,764 A fun improv game! Okay, I'm in. 65 00:03:00,765 --> 00:03:02,892 I am a left-leaning firefighter. 66 00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:04,351 I have a medium income, 67 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,563 and I want to live in an underwater castle. 68 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,857 Wait, you're trying to ditch Charlie, too? 69 00:03:09,858 --> 00:03:11,692 I'm pulling in six figures, girl! 70 00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:13,611 I can't be sleeping behind a sheet wall! 71 00:03:13,612 --> 00:03:15,821 - Well, I thought that was Charlie's bed. - We rotate. 72 00:03:15,822 --> 00:03:17,574 - Dark. - I know. 73 00:03:18,408 --> 00:03:21,702 But, I can't bear to break Charlie's little heart. 74 00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:23,120 He's just a boy, after all. 75 00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:25,623 I know! And Jesse can't be by himself! 76 00:03:25,624 --> 00:03:27,584 I have to Heimlich the dude twice a week! 77 00:03:35,008 --> 00:03:36,592 Wait a second. 78 00:03:36,593 --> 00:03:39,011 Parents aren't the only people who can be trapped. 79 00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:42,431 What if we roommate trap Charlie and Jesse? 80 00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:45,517 Convince those sweet idiots that they wanna live with each other, 81 00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:46,937 and that it's their idea? 82 00:03:47,854 --> 00:03:50,357 Color me intrigued. But how? 83 00:03:50,774 --> 00:03:52,775 Color Me Mine! 84 00:03:52,776 --> 00:03:55,402 Oh, no, no, no. Not a good look on Jesse. 85 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,113 These are not what the colors looked like wet! 86 00:03:58,114 --> 00:04:00,491 Now it just looks silly! 87 00:04:00,492 --> 00:04:02,993 They put him on a "No Paint" list. 88 00:04:02,994 --> 00:04:05,287 Okay, okay, okay. Think. 89 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:09,042 How do we get two grown men to bond? 90 00:04:10,919 --> 00:04:12,670 Sleepover! 91 00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,548 Hi. 92 00:04:15,549 --> 00:04:17,758 I'll be your server tonight. - Absolutely not. 93 00:04:17,759 --> 00:04:19,052 Distractingly hot. 94 00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:21,805 I asked for hot, but forgettable. 95 00:04:22,806 --> 00:04:24,933 - Got it. I'll go grab Greg. - Wait, wait, wait. 96 00:04:29,229 --> 00:04:31,231 Call me! Bye... 97 00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:34,608 Oh God. 98 00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:36,235 I am so nervous. 99 00:04:36,236 --> 00:04:37,736 What if my dad is awkward? 100 00:04:37,737 --> 00:04:39,364 How am I gonna make him comfortable? 101 00:04:41,032 --> 00:04:43,118 Do you know any songs about the Mets? 102 00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:45,828 I went to Juilliard. 103 00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:48,122 Uh, Soph? 104 00:04:48,123 --> 00:04:49,790 I don't think you have anything to worry about. 105 00:04:49,791 --> 00:04:51,126 Huh? 106 00:04:55,213 --> 00:04:57,923 Oh, my God. Let's do our calming mantra. - I got you. 107 00:04:57,924 --> 00:05:01,636 Calming mantra... Calming mantra... Calming mantra? 108 00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,059 ZZ Top? 109 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,144 What are you doing next to 110 00:05:10,145 --> 00:05:12,147 Lumineers, comma, The? 111 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:16,775 Hey, uh, 112 00:05:16,776 --> 00:05:18,694 is it cool if I crash here this evening? 113 00:05:18,695 --> 00:05:21,990 Ellen claims she's having something called a "super-period," and, um... 114 00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:24,783 I didn't want to ask any questions. 115 00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,076 She told me. 116 00:05:26,077 --> 00:05:27,661 Felt like an unnecessary phone call, 117 00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:30,749 but also a cool one because he for she. 118 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:34,293 Anyway, uh, Sid's working late tonight, so it's just the two of us. 119 00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:36,796 I'm gonna get back to alphabetizing my records. 120 00:05:37,297 --> 00:05:39,799 You really can't beat the warmth of analog, you know? 121 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:41,927 God, I sound cool. 122 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:46,055 Right. I am gonna hunker down with Reese's Book of the Month, 123 00:05:46,056 --> 00:05:48,558 so until we meet again. 124 00:05:50,018 --> 00:05:53,979 Will Sheila find love with the war hero who's caring for her sick dog? 125 00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:56,524 You are a real page-turner, Vet Vet. 126 00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,826 I can't believe Charlie's just reading alone. 127 00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:09,663 That is not how we do it at our house. 128 00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:14,834 Turn. 129 00:06:17,963 --> 00:06:19,964 Okay. Well, this is going horribly! 130 00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:21,966 We need them to bond, like, stat! 131 00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:23,342 Uh... Oh! 132 00:06:23,343 --> 00:06:25,469 We could leave a baby on their doorstep. 133 00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:26,720 You know, force them to co-parent. 134 00:06:26,721 --> 00:06:28,556 How are we gonna get our hands on a baby? 135 00:06:28,557 --> 00:06:30,517 I could get a baby. 136 00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:35,188 Hi, girls! 137 00:06:36,189 --> 00:06:38,649 Wow! What a cute spot. 138 00:06:38,650 --> 00:06:39,651 Mwah! 139 00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:43,195 So, uh, is your dad here yet? 140 00:06:43,196 --> 00:06:44,989 Excited to meet him! 141 00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,324 Nope. Not yet. 142 00:06:47,325 --> 00:06:49,660 Must have gotten stuck in some traffic. 143 00:06:49,661 --> 00:06:51,913 Coming from Smoochville. 144 00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,125 Hello, stranger! 145 00:06:56,126 --> 00:06:58,669 You must be Nick. - And you must be Lori. 146 00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:01,213 Wow. It's crazy to see you after all these years. 147 00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:02,590 Alright, cut the act, losers. 148 00:07:02,591 --> 00:07:04,300 We just saw you Frenching. With your tongues. 149 00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:06,010 - All Frenching is with tongue... - Not now. 150 00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:08,888 Damn it, Lori. I knew we shouldn't have made out so close to our destination. 151 00:07:08,889 --> 00:07:11,932 Well, what's a girl to do when you rock those corduroys? 152 00:07:11,933 --> 00:07:13,809 Yeah, probably shouldn't have worn my butt huggers. 153 00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:15,729 When did this start? 154 00:07:16,313 --> 00:07:18,480 A few weeks ago. 155 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,608 You were spending all this time together, 156 00:07:20,609 --> 00:07:22,484 and I wanted to make sure he was a good guy. 157 00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,987 So, I went to his shop. 158 00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:27,573 Um... 159 00:07:27,574 --> 00:07:30,743 I'm sorry to interrupt your 9 AM chili dog, 160 00:07:30,744 --> 00:07:32,912 but I have to ask. 161 00:07:32,913 --> 00:07:33,914 Do I know you? 162 00:07:34,706 --> 00:07:35,956 Yes. 163 00:07:35,957 --> 00:07:37,541 In the biblical sense. 164 00:07:37,542 --> 00:07:40,170 And then, we got to talking. 165 00:07:42,714 --> 00:07:46,051 It was so nice to catch up after all these years. 166 00:07:48,345 --> 00:07:50,638 And then, things started to get hot and heavy. 167 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:53,432 - Careful. That's hot. - And heavy! 168 00:07:56,895 --> 00:07:58,437 Mm-hmm. 169 00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:01,690 I guess we've been on... five or six dates since then. 170 00:08:01,691 --> 00:08:04,986 - And one salty weekend by the sea. - Oh yes. 171 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,821 Oh, my God! 172 00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:10,824 They're together, and you didn't even have to trap them. 173 00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:14,371 Now, we can focus on getting hot waiter to snap me like a glow stick. 174 00:08:30,971 --> 00:08:33,639 - What the hell is this? - This had better be good, Jesse. 175 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,768 The vet vet is having a war flashback mid-neuter. 176 00:08:37,769 --> 00:08:39,311 Say It Or Do It: 177 00:08:39,312 --> 00:08:42,816 The Electronic Male Bonding Game for Men. 178 00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:45,568 "Barstool Sports calls it, 179 00:08:45,569 --> 00:08:47,695 'Not your Mama's truth or dare.'" 180 00:08:47,696 --> 00:08:51,031 "Featuring the voice of Rob Gronkowski." 181 00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:53,158 - Where did this come from? - No idea. 182 00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:56,204 I bet Sid did another Tanqueray and Tar-jay. 183 00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:01,542 Say it! 184 00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:04,379 When's the last time you cried, Bro-chacho? 185 00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:08,465 Well, answer Mr. Gronk. 186 00:09:08,466 --> 00:09:09,717 Uh, uh... 187 00:09:09,718 --> 00:09:11,677 three weeks ago, I guess, 188 00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:14,097 when I thought about Ellen dying someday. 189 00:09:15,557 --> 00:09:17,601 Never far from my mind either. 190 00:09:18,602 --> 00:09:20,185 Alright, my turn. 191 00:09:20,186 --> 00:09:22,229 ROB GRONKOWSKI: Do it! 192 00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:25,692 Hug each other as hard as you can for a five-count. Kings! 193 00:09:28,445 --> 00:09:31,363 - Alright, well, bring it in. Okay. - I am gonna bring it in. Okay. 194 00:09:31,364 --> 00:09:32,364 Yeah. Yeah. 195 00:09:32,365 --> 00:09:33,366 Five... 196 00:09:34,492 --> 00:09:35,993 Four... 197 00:09:35,994 --> 00:09:37,411 I did it! 198 00:09:37,412 --> 00:09:39,872 It's working. They're bonding. 199 00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:40,873 Do it! 200 00:09:40,874 --> 00:09:43,500 Bench press your boy and tell him you love him. 201 00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:44,543 They're doing it. 202 00:09:44,544 --> 00:09:47,755 I did not know Jesse had that kind of upper body strength. 203 00:09:49,466 --> 00:09:50,716 And he dropped him. 204 00:09:50,717 --> 00:09:53,886 And here is the citrus-glazed salmon. 205 00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:56,180 Better keep that salmon away from your mother, kid. 206 00:09:56,181 --> 00:09:57,514 Shut up! 207 00:09:57,515 --> 00:10:00,101 It was one time! 208 00:10:00,894 --> 00:10:02,187 What happened with the salmon? 209 00:10:02,979 --> 00:10:04,813 So, we went to Coney Island... 210 00:10:04,814 --> 00:10:08,192 Wait. You guys went to Coney Island? 211 00:10:08,193 --> 00:10:10,779 You guys ate salmon at Coney Island? 212 00:10:11,446 --> 00:10:14,823 We rode the Cyclone after we ate, and let's just say... 213 00:10:14,824 --> 00:10:17,952 The salmon swam back upstream. 214 00:10:17,953 --> 00:10:20,996 Hilarious story from the, uh, amusement park 215 00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:23,499 that you didn't invite me to, even though my Insta bio says, 216 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:26,503 "photographer, coffee lover, roller coaster fanatic." 217 00:10:28,213 --> 00:10:30,966 Um... Is everything okay? 218 00:10:32,217 --> 00:10:35,095 Sorry. You know, I'm just... I'm a little surprised. 219 00:10:36,513 --> 00:10:37,639 I'm gonna go freshen up. 220 00:10:41,351 --> 00:10:44,604 Wow. That didn't go as smoothly as I hoped. 221 00:10:45,647 --> 00:10:47,649 But, I think she's getting her head around it. 222 00:10:48,149 --> 00:10:49,275 She's running away. 223 00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:57,200 So you literally ran away. 224 00:10:57,784 --> 00:10:59,327 Like you never ran away? 225 00:10:59,869 --> 00:11:01,453 Remember when Dad and I said 226 00:11:01,454 --> 00:11:05,124 you couldn't go to Olivia Rodrigo's farewell tour? 227 00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:07,835 Okay, let's get back to your story. 228 00:11:07,836 --> 00:11:09,254 Mm-hmm. 229 00:11:09,796 --> 00:11:11,505 Say it! 230 00:11:11,506 --> 00:11:13,632 Dude, what's your greatest fear? 231 00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:15,135 Oof. Uh... 232 00:11:16,136 --> 00:11:18,722 I guess... winding up alone. 233 00:11:19,472 --> 00:11:20,931 Come on. 234 00:11:20,932 --> 00:11:23,101 It's not gonna happen to a catch like you. 235 00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:26,270 Speaking of, how are things going with Parker? 236 00:11:26,271 --> 00:11:29,023 Oh! Great. Parker's amazing. 237 00:11:29,024 --> 00:11:30,983 She told me she's gonna stop seeing other people, 238 00:11:30,984 --> 00:11:32,651 and I've got no other people to stop seeing, 239 00:11:32,652 --> 00:11:34,821 so I guess we're exclusive. 240 00:11:35,614 --> 00:11:38,198 Which means any day now, she's gonna realize she's too good for me. 241 00:11:38,199 --> 00:11:40,451 Hey, don't you talk about my friend like that. 242 00:11:40,452 --> 00:11:42,161 You are a bloody dream. 243 00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:45,123 Thanks, Charlie. How are you this easy to talk to? 244 00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:48,335 He used that line on me at Wesleyan. 245 00:11:49,336 --> 00:11:51,253 Does he say that to all the boys? 246 00:11:51,254 --> 00:11:53,334 Say, Jesse. JESSE on : Mm? 247 00:11:53,548 --> 00:11:55,216 Would you ever want to go on vacation? 248 00:11:55,217 --> 00:11:57,344 You know, just the two of us? 249 00:11:57,761 --> 00:12:00,805 He's never asked me to go on vacation with him. 250 00:12:01,181 --> 00:12:04,558 Probably because living with me, it's like its own vacation. 251 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:05,559 Right, Sid? 252 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,104 Well, let me answer your question with another question. 253 00:12:08,605 --> 00:12:11,107 What are your thoughts on strawberry daqs? 254 00:12:12,108 --> 00:12:13,734 - My thoughts are... - Mm-hmm. 255 00:12:13,735 --> 00:12:17,405 - One glass, two straws. - Now you're talking! 256 00:12:19,115 --> 00:12:21,742 This is what we wanted, right? F-For them to like each other 257 00:12:21,743 --> 00:12:23,870 better than they like us? Sid? 258 00:12:24,996 --> 00:12:25,996 Sid! 259 00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:31,043 Oh! My super-period is over! I lost a lot of eggs, but I'm back. 260 00:12:31,044 --> 00:12:33,212 Yeah, she is. And so am I, so go home, Charlie! 261 00:12:33,213 --> 00:12:35,548 Eh, I'm good. We're in the middle of a game. 262 00:12:35,549 --> 00:12:36,882 Sorry about my roommate. 263 00:12:36,883 --> 00:12:38,300 My turn. 264 00:12:38,301 --> 00:12:40,886 I pick Say It. 265 00:12:40,887 --> 00:12:42,346 - Super say it! - Yes! 266 00:12:42,347 --> 00:12:45,516 Both bros answer. Who is your closest homie? 267 00:12:45,517 --> 00:12:47,185 Ooh! Don't need to answer that. 268 00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:50,146 CHARLIE and JESSE: My closest homie is... 269 00:12:53,108 --> 00:12:55,109 Gotcha! ELLEN and SID: Hm? 270 00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:57,570 Yes, we found your little nanny cam. 271 00:12:57,571 --> 00:13:00,239 Okay, not sure how to work the nanny cam app, 272 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,366 but the roommate trap plan is going amazing! 273 00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,243 Seriously. And now, we get to tell Charlie 274 00:13:04,244 --> 00:13:06,203 and Jesse we're kicking them out guilt-free. 275 00:13:06,204 --> 00:13:08,163 God, we're geniuses! SID: Mm-hmm. 276 00:13:08,164 --> 00:13:11,543 Hey, wh-why do you think that microphone icon on here is lit up? 277 00:13:12,252 --> 00:13:13,252 Hm... 278 00:13:13,253 --> 00:13:15,463 We could have been talking about anything! 279 00:13:16,131 --> 00:13:18,211 I don't understand. Why do you want to get rid of me? 280 00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:20,843 I don't want to get rid of you. It's just... 281 00:13:20,844 --> 00:13:22,804 I can afford my own place now. 282 00:13:23,263 --> 00:13:25,932 I thought we were living together for love, not to save money! 283 00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:28,601 Of course, we were living together to save money. 284 00:13:28,602 --> 00:13:30,270 Why else do people have roommates? 285 00:13:31,271 --> 00:13:33,773 So that when you throw up, you have someone to tell. 286 00:13:34,774 --> 00:13:37,401 Dude, Hannah and I are married. 287 00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:39,945 Like, you must've known I'd want to live alone with her when she moved back. 288 00:13:39,946 --> 00:13:43,532 Yeah, eventually. I didn't realize you wanted me gone the moment she got here. 289 00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,076 And why do I have to move out anyway? 290 00:13:45,493 --> 00:13:47,119 'Cause you can't afford it here! 291 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,329 And you're never gonna find a roommate 292 00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:49,955 who pays seven-eighths of the rent like I do! 293 00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:53,250 Oh, so suddenly somebody's a fractioneer! 294 00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:54,502 What?! 295 00:13:58,673 --> 00:13:59,674 Oh... 296 00:14:00,175 --> 00:14:02,260 Get off of me! 297 00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:10,685 Hey, guys. 298 00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:12,811 My parents started dating behind my back, 299 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,647 and I never wanna see them again! 300 00:14:16,191 --> 00:14:17,650 Sophie, it's your parents. 301 00:14:17,651 --> 00:14:19,110 I am not here. 302 00:14:22,864 --> 00:14:24,990 Excuse me, I'm moping in here! 303 00:14:24,991 --> 00:14:26,492 That's so childish. 304 00:14:26,493 --> 00:14:28,452 You mind if I hide under your desk from my parents? 305 00:14:35,377 --> 00:14:36,377 Is Sophie here? 306 00:14:36,378 --> 00:14:38,213 We have something we'd like to tell her. 307 00:14:39,714 --> 00:14:41,715 No! Mr. and Mrs. Sophie, 308 00:14:41,716 --> 00:14:44,219 she is definitely not here. 309 00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:47,137 Okay, well, if you see her, will you tell her 310 00:14:47,138 --> 00:14:49,098 we really love her and we're sorry? 311 00:14:49,099 --> 00:14:52,059 Yes, and whenever she's ready to talk to us, 312 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,353 we'll be waiting back at the restaurant. 313 00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:56,146 Mention the tiramisu. 314 00:14:56,147 --> 00:14:58,440 NICK and LORI: Eating tiramisu! 315 00:14:58,441 --> 00:15:00,192 Ow! 316 00:15:00,193 --> 00:15:02,153 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 317 00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:05,990 I heard the word "tiramisu" and I got so excited. 318 00:15:07,826 --> 00:15:09,828 You think they're gone? - Yeah. 319 00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:14,290 So, you wanna explain why you're hiding from your parents? 320 00:15:14,291 --> 00:15:17,668 Yeah. They started secretly dating behind my back. 321 00:15:17,669 --> 00:15:20,462 My plan was for us to be a trio, 322 00:15:20,463 --> 00:15:22,674 and instead, they're a duo, and I'm an uno. 323 00:15:23,675 --> 00:15:25,009 Sophie. 324 00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:28,971 Just because your parents like each other doesn't mean they don't still love you. 325 00:15:28,972 --> 00:15:31,307 It's not just that. 326 00:15:31,308 --> 00:15:34,268 Th-They tell these stories that are so annoying, 327 00:15:34,269 --> 00:15:36,395 a-and their jokes are so lame. 328 00:15:36,396 --> 00:15:37,563 - Mm. - And they both use 329 00:15:37,564 --> 00:15:39,607 their iPhone flashlights to look at the menu. 330 00:15:39,608 --> 00:15:42,026 It wasn't even dimly lit in there. Boomers. 331 00:15:42,027 --> 00:15:44,820 - This is great! - What is? 332 00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:46,697 Your parents are irritating the shit out of you, 333 00:15:46,698 --> 00:15:48,699 and you've become the most immature version of yourself. 334 00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,243 You're officially a real family. 335 00:15:52,162 --> 00:15:55,122 - Oh, my God. You're right. - Mm-hmm. 336 00:15:55,123 --> 00:15:57,082 They drive me crazy. I hate their guts! 337 00:15:57,083 --> 00:15:58,543 I'm so happy! JESSE: Yeah? 338 00:16:00,045 --> 00:16:01,671 Oh, wha... 339 00:16:02,422 --> 00:16:05,674 Look at you with a throw blanket on the end of your bed. 340 00:16:05,675 --> 00:16:07,343 Uh... 341 00:16:07,344 --> 00:16:09,220 This is really embarrassing, but I actually got that 342 00:16:09,221 --> 00:16:11,931 during our extremely brief foray into dating. 343 00:16:11,932 --> 00:16:12,848 Ooh. 344 00:16:12,849 --> 00:16:16,061 I don't know. I wanted you to be impressed, b-but then... 345 00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:20,190 - We crashed and burned. - Yeah. Over before it even began. 346 00:16:27,197 --> 00:16:29,865 Oh! My God, I hit my head really hard. 347 00:16:29,866 --> 00:16:31,492 You don't think I have a concussion, do you? 348 00:16:31,493 --> 00:16:33,495 - No, no, no. You're fine. - Okay, good. 349 00:16:34,704 --> 00:16:36,790 Uh, you don't think I have a concussion, do you? 350 00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:44,547 I'm gonna go back to the restaurant and meet up with my parents. 351 00:16:44,548 --> 00:16:47,550 I'm really sorry for wasting your evening. - Are you kidding? 352 00:16:47,551 --> 00:16:50,135 Hot Waiter is a Gemini! 353 00:16:50,136 --> 00:16:52,389 Oh, gonna get so weird together! 354 00:17:01,189 --> 00:17:02,565 Say it! 355 00:17:02,566 --> 00:17:06,152 When was the last time you lost control of your emotions, playa? 356 00:17:06,611 --> 00:17:08,655 A few minutes ago. 357 00:17:10,532 --> 00:17:14,410 Look, I know I need to move out so you can live alone here with your wife, 358 00:17:14,411 --> 00:17:15,995 and I couldn't be happier for you. 359 00:17:15,996 --> 00:17:18,872 Even if it is the end of an era. The Sid-Jesse Era. 360 00:17:18,873 --> 00:17:21,166 The Sesse Era. 361 00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:23,567 Hey, and we'll still get to hang out all the time. We just... 362 00:17:24,504 --> 00:17:26,715 won't get to sing our toothbrushing song anymore. 363 00:17:28,258 --> 00:17:30,301 ♪ It's just... ahh... ♪ 364 00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:31,760 - A little brush. - Brush. 365 00:17:31,761 --> 00:17:33,597 Brush... 366 00:17:38,059 --> 00:17:39,102 I take it all back. 367 00:17:40,103 --> 00:17:43,940 Of course, there are other reasons to have roommates besides saving money. 368 00:17:45,317 --> 00:17:47,776 I wanna be the first person to know when you throw up. 369 00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:49,779 Oh, thank God. 370 00:17:51,114 --> 00:17:53,199 'Cause I have something to tell you... 371 00:17:59,247 --> 00:18:00,624 I'm sorry for going missing. 372 00:18:01,541 --> 00:18:03,752 Oh, you guys must have been so scared. 373 00:18:05,754 --> 00:18:07,434 - Terrified. - We almost called the police. 374 00:18:09,633 --> 00:18:12,135 We're sorry that we were sneaking around behind your back. 375 00:18:13,053 --> 00:18:14,428 Although... 376 00:18:14,429 --> 00:18:15,931 maybe that's what made it so red-hot. 377 00:18:17,182 --> 00:18:19,642 I'm kidding. It's your mom's body is what made it so hot. 378 00:18:19,643 --> 00:18:20,351 Dad! 379 00:18:20,352 --> 00:18:22,102 Your body is what made it so hot. 380 00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:22,771 Mom! 381 00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:27,400 Why were you guys sneaking around? 382 00:18:28,401 --> 00:18:30,986 We just didn't wanna say anything to you 383 00:18:30,987 --> 00:18:34,323 until we figured out what this was. 384 00:18:34,324 --> 00:18:36,826 I mean, the first time around, it-it was... 385 00:18:37,869 --> 00:18:39,913 It was over before it even began. 386 00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:42,624 I know the feeling. 387 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,087 But, this time I think it has real potential. 388 00:18:49,464 --> 00:18:52,551 There's something to be said for second chances. 389 00:18:59,724 --> 00:19:01,184 Hm. 390 00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:03,645 My friends are having a game night. 391 00:19:05,105 --> 00:19:07,356 If it's okay, I think I'm gonna go. 392 00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:09,401 Of course, sweetie. 393 00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:12,695 It sounds kinda lame to me, but those are your friends. 394 00:19:19,452 --> 00:19:22,455 Actually, uh, I just remembered that I hate games. 395 00:19:23,665 --> 00:19:25,417 Don't even really like nights that much. 396 00:19:29,337 --> 00:19:31,256 Anyone up for another round of tiramisu? 397 00:19:32,215 --> 00:19:33,466 I don't know. 398 00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:35,802 I didn't like mine very much. 399 00:19:38,221 --> 00:19:39,597 Parents. 400 00:19:39,598 --> 00:19:41,516 Seriously. 30355

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