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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:08,968 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪ 2 00:00:08,969 --> 00:00:12,556 ♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪ 3 00:00:15,935 --> 00:00:16,935 - Hi. 4 00:00:16,936 --> 00:00:19,688 I'm Nick. I think I'm your dad. 5 00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:23,357 - What? How did... 6 00:00:23,358 --> 00:00:25,776 - I have a camera outside my shop. 7 00:00:27,696 --> 00:00:29,446 - Greetings, sir. 8 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:31,449 It's me, your long-lost daughter... Ah! 9 00:00:33,118 --> 00:00:34,660 What up, Nick? 10 00:00:34,661 --> 00:00:36,871 Who's my daddy? You're my daddy. 11 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,749 A little bit about me. I... 12 00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:42,543 have a great life! Lot of good friends. 13 00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:45,713 We get drinks at this place called Pemberton's, like, every night. 14 00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:47,465 But not, like, in a problematic way. 15 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:52,262 - So, how am I your dad exactly? 16 00:00:52,721 --> 00:00:55,891 My mom is Lori Tompkins. 17 00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,934 You guys met at Lollapalooza '91 18 00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,896 and conceived me to Jane Says. 19 00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:04,482 No judgment. I have sex to weird songs, too. 20 00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:07,610 - You're my dad. I don't have sex. - What? 21 00:01:07,611 --> 00:01:09,403 - Wait. I'm 30. I do. 22 00:01:09,404 --> 00:01:11,364 Anyway, surprise! 23 00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,451 - Wow. 24 00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:17,578 You're my daughter. 25 00:01:17,579 --> 00:01:19,456 With Lollapalooza Lori. 26 00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:22,750 I'm sorry to spring this on you. 27 00:01:22,751 --> 00:01:24,627 - Oh. No, don't be. 28 00:01:24,628 --> 00:01:26,712 I never had a daughter before. 29 00:01:26,713 --> 00:01:27,713 Or a son. 30 00:01:27,714 --> 00:01:30,424 I had a cat once. That's different. 31 00:01:30,425 --> 00:01:32,552 I think. Wouldn't really know. 32 00:01:34,221 --> 00:01:35,804 - Um... 33 00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,056 Wanna get a drink or something? 34 00:01:37,057 --> 00:01:38,141 - I'd love that. 35 00:01:41,394 --> 00:01:42,896 - I'll get you a beer, Mr. Sophie. 36 00:01:44,773 --> 00:01:47,274 - I have a better idea. Why don't I, uh, 37 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,818 come to your shop tomorrow, and we can have lunch? 38 00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,695 - Great. Great. 39 00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:54,949 But, no family discount. You can thank your step-grandma for that. 40 00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:57,827 I caught her reselling chili dogs at her old age home, so. 41 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:06,211 - Hey, man. 42 00:02:08,755 --> 00:02:10,006 - Hey... 43 00:02:10,549 --> 00:02:11,591 What's up? 44 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,512 - Not... much... 45 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:17,930 Why are they being weird? 46 00:02:17,931 --> 00:02:20,975 - It's just Bro Speak. I'll translate. 47 00:02:20,976 --> 00:02:22,216 - Whatcha got going on tonight? 48 00:02:24,771 --> 00:02:27,732 - Not much. Just... the usual. 49 00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:34,739 - I was gonna go check out that new bar on Mercer Street, if you wanna tag along. 50 00:02:39,828 --> 00:02:40,828 - Sure. 51 00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:48,502 - Hey, friends! 52 00:02:48,503 --> 00:02:51,213 Great news. 53 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,716 Swish is cheating on me! 54 00:02:53,717 --> 00:02:56,093 - Uh, congrats? 55 00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:58,721 - This is exactly what I was hoping would happen! 56 00:02:58,722 --> 00:03:02,016 He'd lose interest, meet someone new, and dump my ass. 57 00:03:02,017 --> 00:03:04,101 - How do you know he's cheating on you? 58 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,021 - Um, hey, babe, I-I gotta get going. Um, 59 00:03:07,022 --> 00:03:09,649 my study group needs me for... finals. 60 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,694 - Your study group is named Ally? 61 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,322 - Um, yep! It stands for... 62 00:03:16,323 --> 00:03:20,118 Americans Learning Linguistics... Yummy? 63 00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:25,502 - Well, I am gonna miss being blinded by his grandmother's rock, though. 64 00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:30,170 - Oh, I know just how we can celebrate your engagement's imminent demise. 65 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,087 A fancy open house! 66 00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:37,134 - Oh, we have to go to this. - Mm-hmm! 67 00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:40,095 - Three floors. Walk-in wine fridge?! 68 00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:43,307 - And a servant's quarters! These people are so fancy, 69 00:03:43,308 --> 00:03:45,267 they don't even know you can't say servant anymore. 70 00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:50,606 What can I get you guys? 71 00:03:50,607 --> 00:03:52,942 - Two gin martinis with a twist, please. 72 00:03:52,943 --> 00:03:55,110 - Oh. And where are we from? 73 00:03:55,111 --> 00:03:57,572 - Well, London... - Originally Cincinnati. 74 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:02,576 - Did I hear you say you're from London? - Uh, yes, I am. 75 00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:04,578 I'm Charlie. This is my friend Jesse. 76 00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,747 He is from Cincinnati. 77 00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:10,126 Which is the London of Ohio! 78 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,212 Can you say Cincinnati again? 79 00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:15,130 It sounds so elegant when you say it. 80 00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:16,382 - Cincinnati. 81 00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:19,552 - You know, I call soda "pop." 82 00:04:19,553 --> 00:04:21,721 If that does anything... for you. 83 00:04:24,808 --> 00:04:26,517 - Hey. How'd it go with your dad? 84 00:04:26,518 --> 00:04:27,769 - Mm... 85 00:04:28,687 --> 00:04:30,229 It started off kinda awkward. 86 00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:33,524 Okay. Favorite movie on three. One! Two! 87 00:04:33,525 --> 00:04:34,985 Christmas with the Kranks! 88 00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:39,489 - I'm sorry. I-I don't really watch movies. 89 00:04:40,365 --> 00:04:42,117 Have you ever seen Jay Leno's Garage? 90 00:04:43,743 --> 00:04:45,202 - Hm? - Oh. 91 00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:46,954 - They say it's genetic! 92 00:04:46,955 --> 00:04:48,039 You try. 93 00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:54,170 - Nope. Can't do it. 94 00:04:58,341 --> 00:04:59,843 Sophie... 95 00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:04,179 You can't expect to bond with your dad after just one day. 96 00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:07,516 It took me, like, 30 years for me and my dad to find our thing, 97 00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:08,893 which we did last May. 98 00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:10,645 We both hate wind chimes. 99 00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:12,563 - You love wind chimes. 100 00:05:12,564 --> 00:05:15,692 - Please don't tell my dad. It's all we have. 101 00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:19,403 - Actually, um, 102 00:05:19,404 --> 00:05:22,198 I did figure out one way for us to bond. 103 00:05:22,782 --> 00:05:23,783 That's delicious. 104 00:05:25,243 --> 00:05:26,578 How is this place not packed? 105 00:05:26,953 --> 00:05:28,913 - Um, business has been a little slow 106 00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:30,916 since they closed the bar across the street. 107 00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:33,710 - Hm. - We used to do huge numbers late nights. 108 00:05:34,419 --> 00:05:36,213 What can I say? Drunks love dogs. 109 00:05:37,464 --> 00:05:38,839 - Okay. 110 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:41,508 So, if the drunks won't come to the dogs, 111 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,470 then we need to bring the dogs to the drunks. 112 00:05:44,471 --> 00:05:46,430 We're doing a pop-up here! 113 00:05:46,431 --> 00:05:50,143 Now, you say "yes." And I say, "yay!" And then, we hug. 114 00:05:51,895 --> 00:05:53,438 You wanna just skip to the hug? 115 00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:01,528 - There you are! 116 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,656 Thanks for leaving me alone with the giggle squad. 117 00:06:03,657 --> 00:06:06,659 They made me record a voice memo as sexy Paddington bear. 118 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,661 - What a dumb idea. - Yeah, you're telling me. 119 00:06:08,662 --> 00:06:09,787 Paddington isn't sexy. 120 00:06:09,788 --> 00:06:11,622 I mean, he's snuggly and sensual, maybe, but he... 121 00:06:11,623 --> 00:06:14,792 - No! I mean me trying to meet women with you and your stupid charming accent. 122 00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:17,586 It's like I'm invisible. - Trust me, Jesse, this accent is a curse. 123 00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,129 - Ugh. - It's all people see. 124 00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:21,507 I'm just some British thing for women to play with, 125 00:06:21,508 --> 00:06:22,883 like a-a statue of Big Ben 126 00:06:22,884 --> 00:06:25,052 or a tea towel with Duchess Kate's face on it. 127 00:06:25,053 --> 00:06:26,763 - What is a tea towel? 128 00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:28,973 - I hate this country. 129 00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:30,224 - Look, hey, here's a thought. 130 00:06:30,225 --> 00:06:32,518 How about I be British and you be American. Okay? 131 00:06:32,519 --> 00:06:34,603 Women will all flock to me, and you can be the guy 132 00:06:34,604 --> 00:06:36,231 pretending to do something on his phone. 133 00:06:36,731 --> 00:06:37,731 - That's brilliant. 134 00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:41,236 I think you'll find that my accent's top-notch, old sport. 135 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,738 - Are you doing Michael Caine? You're a young man, Jesse! 136 00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:47,367 Right you are, bruv. Fancy another gin? 137 00:06:47,784 --> 00:06:50,704 - Not bad, my main man. - Not bad yourself, mate. 138 00:06:51,162 --> 00:06:52,413 - Hi. - Hello. 139 00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,624 - I'm Angelina. This is my friend Julia. 140 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,586 I love your accent. Where are you from? 141 00:06:58,587 --> 00:07:00,337 - Who, me? Well, I-I'm... 142 00:07:00,338 --> 00:07:01,298 from... 143 00:07:01,299 --> 00:07:03,049 the town in Love, Actually. 144 00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:05,509 - So, London? 145 00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:06,760 - Oh, blimey! You've heard of it! 146 00:07:08,305 --> 00:07:10,472 - So, what do you do? - Uh... 147 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:14,436 I am a bartender. Yeah. Uh, an American bartender. 148 00:07:19,524 --> 00:07:21,901 - Only 5,000 square feet? 149 00:07:21,902 --> 00:07:23,777 It's a bit tight, no? 150 00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:26,030 - Oh, it is. At this size, 151 00:07:26,031 --> 00:07:28,782 I'd run the risk of actually seeing my children. 152 00:07:31,661 --> 00:07:33,663 Oh... 153 00:07:39,628 --> 00:07:40,921 - Oh, my God. 154 00:07:41,671 --> 00:07:43,590 This is Missy Moritz's apartment! 155 00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:46,657 The legendary socialite who's known for wearing amazing hats. 156 00:07:47,219 --> 00:07:48,637 She invented shapewear for dogs. 157 00:07:49,471 --> 00:07:51,555 She wrote that song Ass So Rich. 158 00:07:51,556 --> 00:07:52,723 - Oh! 159 00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:54,475 ♪ Whose ass so rich? ♪ 160 00:07:54,476 --> 00:07:56,227 ♪ This ass so rich ♪ 161 00:07:56,228 --> 00:07:57,436 God, I love that song. 162 00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:59,021 You don't expect the bridge 163 00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,023 to make you cry, but it does. - I know. 164 00:08:01,024 --> 00:08:03,317 - Val, should we go try on her hats? 165 00:08:03,318 --> 00:08:04,838 Or do you think our heads are too big? 166 00:08:05,445 --> 00:08:08,531 - I brought Vaseline. - You always come prepared! 167 00:08:09,324 --> 00:08:11,033 ♪ Whose ass so rich? ♪ 168 00:08:11,034 --> 00:08:13,369 ♪ This ass so rich, oh! ♪ 169 00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:15,079 - Wow. 170 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,413 This place is packed. 171 00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:18,457 It's like Toad the Wet Sprocket is playing or something. 172 00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:20,668 - I know! I went into Google Maps, 173 00:08:20,669 --> 00:08:23,129 and I set us as an ATM location. 174 00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:25,464 - Well, hot dog. 175 00:08:25,465 --> 00:08:28,133 - Oh. I think that was your first dad joke. 176 00:08:28,134 --> 00:08:29,927 - More where that came from, kid. 177 00:08:29,928 --> 00:08:31,179 - Oh. 178 00:08:32,305 --> 00:08:34,015 - He called me kid! 179 00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:40,479 - Put on some trousers and say, "Thank you, Charlie." 180 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,649 Julia and Angelina are coming over here for cocktails. 181 00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:45,276 - Wait, really? Yes! 182 00:08:45,277 --> 00:08:48,279 Oh, man. I'm really into Angie. She's a teacher. I'm a teacher. 183 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,865 We both turn our chairs around backwards when it's time to get real with the kids. 184 00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:53,450 - Julie's fantastic. 185 00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:54,994 I could really see myself dating her. 186 00:08:54,995 --> 00:08:55,954 - Same! 187 00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:58,248 But we're locked into these stupid accents. 188 00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:00,583 It's a bit of a pickle, innit? 189 00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:03,127 Right. We're gonna have to figure out how to switch back. 190 00:09:03,128 --> 00:09:05,130 I mean, I can't be a Yankee Doodle forever. 191 00:09:05,922 --> 00:09:07,006 Oh, my God. 192 00:09:07,007 --> 00:09:09,592 What if I have to choose between my voice and my one true love? 193 00:09:09,593 --> 00:09:10,968 Am I the Little Mermaid? 194 00:09:12,888 --> 00:09:15,973 This is the hat Missy wore to meet 195 00:09:15,974 --> 00:09:17,893 Bo Obama! 196 00:09:19,519 --> 00:09:21,437 - Excuse me! 197 00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:23,188 This room is off-limits! 198 00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:25,024 Which, coincidentally, is the name of 199 00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:28,027 my new single featuring Tyga. Tell your friends. 200 00:09:28,028 --> 00:09:29,737 - Oh, my God. 201 00:09:29,738 --> 00:09:31,780 Oh, my God, you are Missy Moritz! 202 00:09:31,781 --> 00:09:33,949 Oh wow, you're even more fabulous in real life. 203 00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:35,659 - Aw, I know. 204 00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,036 It's actually a problem. 205 00:09:37,037 --> 00:09:40,624 It's so hard to translate this through a camera. 206 00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,292 Anyway, thanks. Kisses. Bye! 207 00:09:43,293 --> 00:09:44,293 - We're such huge fans! - Ah! 208 00:09:44,294 --> 00:09:46,337 Both of you, get out! Okay? 209 00:09:46,338 --> 00:09:47,630 I will call security, 210 00:09:47,631 --> 00:09:50,591 and they are not afraid to hit women because they are women. 211 00:09:50,592 --> 00:09:52,885 - Love it. - Change starts from the top down. 212 00:09:52,886 --> 00:09:55,221 - Get out! ELLEN: Oh, she's yelling at us! 213 00:09:57,224 --> 00:09:58,849 ♪ For goodness sake ♪ 214 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:02,061 ♪ Hippy Hippy Shake by Chan Romero ♪ 215 00:10:02,062 --> 00:10:03,687 - Two dogs! - Oh yeah! Oh yeah! 216 00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:05,064 ♪ Woo! ♪ 217 00:10:05,065 --> 00:10:06,440 - And here's some mustard! - Oh! 218 00:10:06,441 --> 00:10:09,652 - Boom! Boom! And boom! - Yeah! 219 00:10:09,653 --> 00:10:11,320 - This goes... Heyo! - Ha! 220 00:10:11,321 --> 00:10:12,905 - Oh! 221 00:10:12,906 --> 00:10:14,658 - Brats. - 'Kraut. 222 00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:17,826 - Woo! Yes! Ow! - Boom! 223 00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:19,370 This is making me want a hot dog. 224 00:10:19,371 --> 00:10:21,373 - It's making me want another. 225 00:10:26,753 --> 00:10:29,338 - Tonight was so fun. - So fun. 226 00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,840 - I really relished doing this with you. 227 00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:34,052 - Oh. Are you my dad? 228 00:10:34,469 --> 00:10:37,638 - You know, this pop-up doesn't have to be a one-off. 229 00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:40,058 We could expand to other bars. It could be our thing. 230 00:10:40,892 --> 00:10:42,601 I mean, it's a family business, right? 231 00:10:42,602 --> 00:10:44,937 - Right. Except for your step-grandma. 232 00:10:44,938 --> 00:10:46,939 She opened a Wienerschnitzel franchise down the street, 233 00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:48,358 and now, she's dead to me. 234 00:10:49,025 --> 00:10:51,735 - Wow. She sounds like a real pistol. 235 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,738 - No, she carries a real pistol. 236 00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:56,740 - God. 237 00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:59,118 We look good in other people's clothes. 238 00:10:59,119 --> 00:11:00,619 - I know. Mm! 239 00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:03,832 I can still feel Missy's baby snake leather gloves on my... 240 00:11:04,916 --> 00:11:06,625 - Oh, no. 241 00:11:06,626 --> 00:11:09,004 Swish's grandma's ring. It's gone! 242 00:11:11,214 --> 00:11:14,091 - Shit! I bet it fell off when we were trying on Missy's stuff! 243 00:11:14,092 --> 00:11:16,677 - Okay, so you lost the ring. We could get a fake! 244 00:11:16,678 --> 00:11:19,346 I know a gal. These earrings? Fake. 245 00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:20,890 This ring? Fake. 246 00:11:20,891 --> 00:11:22,975 This anklet? Nonexistent. 247 00:11:22,976 --> 00:11:25,185 Because who the F would wear an anklet? 248 00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:27,563 - I can't give Swish back a fake ring! 249 00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,064 Come on. We-We gotta go back to Missy's. 250 00:11:29,065 --> 00:11:31,150 - We can't go back! We were thrown out! 251 00:11:31,151 --> 00:11:34,194 - Ellen, well-behaved women rarely make history. 252 00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:36,197 - Ugh. You sound like Jesse. 253 00:11:38,116 --> 00:11:39,742 - I've always wanted to be a part of a couple 254 00:11:39,743 --> 00:11:42,661 known for their dinner parties like Ina Garten and Jeff... 255 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:44,038 And Jeffrey! 256 00:11:44,039 --> 00:11:45,839 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that bloke. 257 00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:48,919 'Scuse me, love. 258 00:11:50,295 --> 00:11:51,503 'Ello? 259 00:11:51,504 --> 00:11:52,504 What?! 260 00:11:53,089 --> 00:11:55,257 Well, that is devastating news. 261 00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:56,926 - What happened to his voice? 262 00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:59,386 Charlie, we can stop practicing our accents. 263 00:11:59,387 --> 00:12:00,804 They've canceled the play. 264 00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:02,973 Oh, you've got to be kidding me. 265 00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:04,642 - Uh, w-what is happening? 266 00:12:04,643 --> 00:12:06,852 - So sorry we couldn't explain before, 267 00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:09,271 but, uh, these are our true accents. 268 00:12:09,272 --> 00:12:11,106 You see, we are actors. 269 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:13,817 - Method actors. And we were just using those other accents 270 00:12:13,818 --> 00:12:15,486 to prepare for an upcoming play. 271 00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:18,030 - But, uh, now the play's canceled, so back to normal. 272 00:12:18,031 --> 00:12:19,657 Oh. 273 00:12:19,658 --> 00:12:22,076 Okay. Crazy. - Totally. 274 00:12:22,077 --> 00:12:23,994 - So, what was the play? 275 00:12:23,995 --> 00:12:25,663 - It was a... 276 00:12:25,664 --> 00:12:27,790 - A Tale of Two... - Two Guys? 277 00:12:27,791 --> 00:12:29,875 - Yeah! Comedy, but dark. 278 00:12:29,876 --> 00:12:31,877 Also, there are puppets. 279 00:12:31,878 --> 00:12:33,212 This sounds amazing. 280 00:12:33,213 --> 00:12:34,630 You guys have to do a scene for us. 281 00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:36,590 - Oh, my God, yeah, we'd love to. - But we can't! 282 00:12:36,591 --> 00:12:40,052 - No, we can't... - Because we need... the puppets. 283 00:12:40,053 --> 00:12:43,013 They're just essential to the inner lives... 284 00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:44,265 - Would these work? - Oh, my God. 285 00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:45,474 - I use them with the kids at school. 286 00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:47,977 - Great. These are... industry standard. 287 00:12:49,062 --> 00:12:51,480 We did it! 288 00:12:51,481 --> 00:12:53,023 We sold out! 289 00:12:53,024 --> 00:12:55,401 Having a business is so easy. 290 00:12:55,402 --> 00:12:57,152 - Sounds about white. 291 00:12:57,153 --> 00:12:59,155 - Uh, Sid, you just said white instead... 292 00:13:00,907 --> 00:13:01,908 I get it. 293 00:13:05,412 --> 00:13:06,912 - Hey! 294 00:13:06,913 --> 00:13:08,998 You thought you could move dogs on the west side 295 00:13:08,999 --> 00:13:10,332 and I wouldn't find out about it? 296 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,460 - Gio. I didn't know this was your territory, I swear. 297 00:13:13,461 --> 00:13:14,628 - You didn't know? 298 00:13:14,629 --> 00:13:16,589 This guy! 299 00:13:16,590 --> 00:13:18,048 This guy didn't know! 300 00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:19,508 - Hey! 301 00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:22,803 You can't just come in here and laugh to no one about my dad. 302 00:13:22,804 --> 00:13:25,097 - Sophie, shh. Yes, he can. 303 00:13:25,098 --> 00:13:27,516 This is Gio Kawalski, the Polish Hot Dog King. 304 00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:28,893 We're on his turf. 305 00:13:28,894 --> 00:13:31,353 - Well, lucky for you, I'm in a forgiving mood. 306 00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:33,982 But forgiveness has a price. 307 00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:36,734 - Great. I do one nice thing for a friend, 308 00:13:36,735 --> 00:13:38,402 now I'm gonna get whacked. 309 00:13:43,074 --> 00:13:45,743 - Okay, who is the Polish Hot Dog King, 310 00:13:45,744 --> 00:13:47,369 and why do we have to listen to him? 311 00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:49,372 Wha... We're not even Polish! 312 00:13:50,749 --> 00:13:51,791 Are we? 313 00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,751 - Have a seat, kid. 314 00:13:53,752 --> 00:13:56,420 Guess it's time for a little history lesson. 315 00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:57,756 See, 316 00:13:58,423 --> 00:14:01,592 back in the day, slinging dogs was a messy business. 317 00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:04,470 Every sausage maker in the city was in the streets. 318 00:14:04,471 --> 00:14:05,888 It was open warfare. 319 00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:07,848 Carts knocked over, buns torched, 320 00:14:07,849 --> 00:14:09,308 ketchup in the gutters. 321 00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:11,143 - Sounds... 322 00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:14,313 wasteful? - Oh, it was. Dangerous, too. 323 00:14:14,314 --> 00:14:16,315 They don't call it "street food" for nothing. 324 00:14:16,316 --> 00:14:18,567 So the Five Hot Dog Families had a sitdown. 325 00:14:18,568 --> 00:14:20,654 They divided the city into territories. 326 00:14:22,322 --> 00:14:24,490 - And we crossed into Gio's territory. 327 00:14:24,491 --> 00:14:26,283 - That's right. But don't worry. 328 00:14:26,284 --> 00:14:28,619 I just have to give Gio a taste of our action 329 00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,496 to smooth things over. But, 330 00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:32,999 sadly, our pop-up days are done. 331 00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:36,711 Oh, and yeah. We're half Polish. 332 00:14:38,755 --> 00:14:40,757 - Explains my love of pierogies. 333 00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:46,387 - Okay! It's morning in New York City. 334 00:14:46,388 --> 00:14:47,972 The date? 335 00:14:47,973 --> 00:14:50,349 September 11th, two thousand and... 336 00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:53,519 - Why would you choose that date? - Just 2000! Just 2000! 337 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,271 Ha, ha! All is well! 338 00:14:55,272 --> 00:14:57,982 Two... businessmen... 339 00:14:57,983 --> 00:15:00,025 board a subway train. 340 00:15:00,026 --> 00:15:02,319 Crikey, I love riding the tube! 341 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,906 And I love taking the subway! 342 00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,658 - W-What are you doing one year from today? 343 00:15:07,659 --> 00:15:09,868 - What is wrong with you? - I don't know! 344 00:15:09,869 --> 00:15:11,036 - Oh, my God, I can't do this! 345 00:15:11,037 --> 00:15:13,999 Jesse and I swapped accents last night to meet women. 346 00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:18,128 But we weren't expecting to meet anyone that we liked as much as you two. 347 00:15:19,546 --> 00:15:20,964 Do you hate us? 348 00:15:22,007 --> 00:15:24,133 - No. Actually, 349 00:15:24,134 --> 00:15:25,718 it's kind of a funny story. - Yeah. 350 00:15:25,719 --> 00:15:28,178 When we met, we were in the middle of a scavenger hunt 351 00:15:28,179 --> 00:15:30,181 for a bachelorette party. 352 00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:32,641 - My bachelorette party. 353 00:15:32,642 --> 00:15:34,393 - What?! You're engaged? 354 00:15:34,394 --> 00:15:37,938 - Number 17 on our list was "pick up a British guy." 355 00:15:37,939 --> 00:15:40,482 We didn't actually think we'd ever see you guys again, but... 356 00:15:40,483 --> 00:15:43,110 Well, then, Julia really liked Charlie, so... 357 00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:45,822 - Do you... still like Charlie? 358 00:15:46,865 --> 00:15:47,866 - I do. 359 00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:53,078 - Julia, I think I was very clear 360 00:15:53,079 --> 00:15:55,497 in my detailed bridesmaid's instructions 361 00:15:55,498 --> 00:15:57,750 that no one was to say "I do" 362 00:15:57,751 --> 00:15:59,710 in the month leading up to my wedding! 363 00:15:59,711 --> 00:16:01,420 Well, Angelina, you know what? 364 00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:03,130 I think this actually worked out for the best. 365 00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:05,133 Congrats to you and the lucky fella. 366 00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:13,600 - You're not my butternut squash ravioli. 367 00:16:14,893 --> 00:16:18,145 Hey, aren't you the two I found rummaging in my closet earlier? 368 00:16:18,146 --> 00:16:20,232 She remembers. 369 00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:24,401 Yes! Your closet is a dream, by the way. 370 00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:28,155 - I know. It was actually designed from a dream I had about a closet. 371 00:16:28,156 --> 00:16:29,949 - Oh. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 372 00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:32,285 I-I left something behind. A ring. 373 00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:35,663 - Uh... No, I haven't seen it. 374 00:16:35,664 --> 00:16:36,914 Thanks. Kisses. Bye. 375 00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:39,751 - Wait, wait, wait! On your... On your finger. Th-That's my ring. 376 00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:42,920 - Uh, no, honey. This is my ring. 377 00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:46,466 And like I said, thanks. Kisses. Bye. 378 00:16:50,512 --> 00:16:52,471 - Missy Moritz stole your ring! 379 00:16:52,472 --> 00:16:55,182 Wait, no, this is bad. 380 00:16:55,183 --> 00:16:57,059 Exciting, but bad! - Mm. 381 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,852 - What do we do? - Uh... 382 00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:01,063 Maybe we can trade her something for it. 383 00:17:01,064 --> 00:17:03,232 All my jewelry is fake, but... 384 00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:05,442 this scrunchie once belonged 385 00:17:05,443 --> 00:17:07,571 to Marcia Gay Harden. 386 00:17:08,863 --> 00:17:09,906 We go to the same gym. 387 00:17:14,786 --> 00:17:17,580 - Playtime is over. There's something I got to do. 388 00:17:17,581 --> 00:17:20,959 - Sophie, you know I hate when you talk like Liam Neeson. 389 00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:24,503 - I am going to confront the Polish Hot Dog King 390 00:17:24,504 --> 00:17:26,006 and tell him to lay off of my dad. 391 00:17:26,673 --> 00:17:28,216 - That sounds really dangerous. 392 00:17:29,342 --> 00:17:31,010 - Luckily, 393 00:17:31,011 --> 00:17:32,803 I've got a unique set of skills. 394 00:17:32,804 --> 00:17:33,971 - No, you don't! 395 00:17:33,972 --> 00:17:36,181 You have a less-than-regular amount of skill! Soph. 396 00:17:36,182 --> 00:17:38,642 Hey! I'm coming with you! 397 00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,185 It's like you're trying to get me murdered! 398 00:17:44,399 --> 00:17:46,692 There. Eating halal on a stick. 399 00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:47,611 - Ha! 400 00:17:47,612 --> 00:17:50,029 And he calls himself the Hot Dog King? 401 00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:53,073 Well, wait till he gets a taste of Sophie. 402 00:17:53,074 --> 00:17:55,410 Hey! Gio! 403 00:17:59,497 --> 00:18:01,541 Please don't take down my daddy. 404 00:18:03,585 --> 00:18:05,669 I'm sorry. 405 00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:08,172 I don't know where this is coming from! 406 00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:10,674 - It's coming from your face. Get it together. 407 00:18:10,675 --> 00:18:12,301 Lady. Lady. 408 00:18:12,302 --> 00:18:13,636 You gotta stop crying. 409 00:18:13,637 --> 00:18:16,055 Lady, stop crying. I'm not Gio Kawalski. 410 00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:17,056 - What? 411 00:18:17,057 --> 00:18:20,727 - I was pretending to be the Kawalski guy for my Uncle Nick as a favor. 412 00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:23,605 My name's Jake. 413 00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:27,567 I'm your cousin. So... 414 00:18:29,444 --> 00:18:31,154 - I have a cousin... 415 00:18:42,499 --> 00:18:46,001 You're not my replacement butternut squash ravioli. 416 00:18:46,002 --> 00:18:48,838 - Nope. I just wanted to show you this. 417 00:18:49,839 --> 00:18:53,259 - A picture of you in a terrific closet with terrible posture? 418 00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:55,094 No. 419 00:18:55,095 --> 00:18:58,097 This. A can of red paint. 420 00:18:58,098 --> 00:18:59,808 Louboutin red. 421 00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:03,478 Now, why would someone have that in their closet? 422 00:19:04,437 --> 00:19:05,813 - I have no idea what you're getting at. 423 00:19:05,814 --> 00:19:09,775 - To paint the bottoms of her janky-ass heels, that's why. 424 00:19:09,776 --> 00:19:13,612 Why you're not buying red bottoms. You're making red bottoms. 425 00:19:15,323 --> 00:19:18,033 I've never even seen paint before. 426 00:19:18,034 --> 00:19:20,911 - Ooh, the gossip sites are gonna love this. 427 00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:23,664 "Cheap Missy Moretz makes her own knockoff Loubs!" 428 00:19:23,665 --> 00:19:25,708 - No! It's not what you think, okay? 429 00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:28,294 I don't want to make fake Louboutins. I have to. 430 00:19:28,295 --> 00:19:29,962 Because they don't make a size 13! 431 00:19:29,963 --> 00:19:31,422 - Oh! You're a size 13?! 432 00:19:31,423 --> 00:19:33,424 - Shh! Yes! Okay? 433 00:19:33,425 --> 00:19:35,217 That's why I always wear these amazing hats. 434 00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:37,596 To draw the eye up! 435 00:19:39,764 --> 00:19:41,432 - How about a trade? 436 00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:43,852 Our silence for my ring back. 437 00:19:45,437 --> 00:19:46,855 - And you'll delete that photo? 438 00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:50,108 Done. 439 00:19:51,735 --> 00:19:53,152 - Pleasure doing business, Missy. 440 00:19:53,153 --> 00:19:55,112 I agree. 441 00:19:55,113 --> 00:19:58,233 You know, I haven't had this much fun since I got in a fistfight with my nanny. 442 00:19:59,618 --> 00:20:02,161 Hey. I will give you guys each a hat 443 00:20:02,162 --> 00:20:03,580 for a pint of your blood. 444 00:20:04,873 --> 00:20:07,249 No, no, it's not for anything weird. Just, you know, 445 00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,251 to keep myself looking young. 446 00:20:09,252 --> 00:20:10,878 - Just a pint. - Uh, Val? 447 00:20:10,879 --> 00:20:12,589 You gotta stop giving away your blood. 448 00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:16,843 - There she is. Where you been? 449 00:20:17,552 --> 00:20:19,888 - Uh, meeting my cousin. 450 00:20:21,097 --> 00:20:22,932 Damn it, Jake. 451 00:20:22,933 --> 00:20:24,808 I knew I should've gotten a real actor. 452 00:20:24,809 --> 00:20:27,270 Guy takes one improv class, he thinks he's Brando. 453 00:20:28,146 --> 00:20:29,689 Okay, listen. 454 00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:33,359 I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you that... 455 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:36,028 this pop-up thing was really fun, but... 456 00:20:36,029 --> 00:20:38,530 I don't wanna shlep into the city all the time. 457 00:20:38,531 --> 00:20:39,991 I'm happy with my shop. 458 00:20:42,285 --> 00:20:43,328 - Got it. 459 00:20:44,663 --> 00:20:47,748 I guess I was just looking for a reason for us to... 460 00:20:47,749 --> 00:20:51,544 keep getting to know each other because we have nothing in common. 461 00:20:51,545 --> 00:20:54,797 And if we don't have a thing, then maybe we're just going to 462 00:20:54,798 --> 00:20:56,340 drift out of each other's lives. 463 00:20:56,341 --> 00:20:57,842 - Sophie. 464 00:20:59,302 --> 00:21:01,680 We don't need a thing to be in each other's lives. 465 00:21:03,306 --> 00:21:05,724 Listen. I got divorced young. 466 00:21:05,725 --> 00:21:08,352 I don't date much 'cause I'm always at the shop. 467 00:21:08,353 --> 00:21:10,354 I was in a toxic on-and-off thing 468 00:21:10,355 --> 00:21:12,774 with my sauerkraut supplier. You know Sharon DiMarco? 469 00:21:13,525 --> 00:21:15,735 Why would you? She's just another lady. 470 00:21:16,278 --> 00:21:17,779 The point is... 471 00:21:18,405 --> 00:21:20,030 I kinda thought it was too late for me 472 00:21:20,031 --> 00:21:23,410 when it came to the whole "having a family" thing. But... 473 00:21:24,411 --> 00:21:27,914 you're a real game-changer, kid. Best kind. 474 00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:36,589 - Why wouldn't you just tell me that you didn't want to do another pop-up? 475 00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:37,841 - Oh. 476 00:21:38,341 --> 00:21:39,884 I didn't want to hurt your feelings. 477 00:21:39,885 --> 00:21:41,386 What? 478 00:21:42,053 --> 00:21:45,431 What kind of a person makes up such an elaborate lie 479 00:21:45,432 --> 00:21:47,934 just to avoid having a tough conversation... 480 00:21:51,146 --> 00:21:52,647 Oh, my God. 481 00:21:54,941 --> 00:21:56,902 It's our first thing in common. 482 00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:09,204 Last one of the night. 483 00:22:09,205 --> 00:22:10,707 I saved it for you. 484 00:22:11,374 --> 00:22:13,250 Thanks for letting me pop up. 485 00:22:13,251 --> 00:22:15,170 - Thanks for not getting me murdered. 486 00:22:15,921 --> 00:22:18,465 - Any time. - Yeah, you, too. 487 00:22:19,925 --> 00:22:22,468 - Hey, babe. Uh, can we talk for a second? 488 00:22:22,469 --> 00:22:23,511 - Oh, yeah. 489 00:22:24,054 --> 00:22:27,390 Here we go. Goodbye, gorgeous. 490 00:22:28,141 --> 00:22:31,810 - Um, Val. Hey, look, I-I know I've been acting really weird lately, 491 00:22:31,811 --> 00:22:34,104 but there's a reason... - I know. 492 00:22:34,105 --> 00:22:35,481 And it's okay. 493 00:22:35,482 --> 00:22:37,609 If you have feelings for this Ally person... 494 00:22:38,068 --> 00:22:39,568 Ally? 495 00:22:39,569 --> 00:22:42,489 I-I don't have feelings for Ally. She's my party planner. 496 00:22:43,156 --> 00:22:46,408 For our engagement party that's happening next week! Surprise! 497 00:22:48,745 --> 00:22:50,329 - Am I getting married? 498 00:22:50,330 --> 00:22:51,497 - What? 499 00:22:51,498 --> 00:22:53,332 - We're getting married... 500 00:22:53,333 --> 00:22:54,625 - We're getting married! 36532

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