All language subtitles for How.I.Met.Your.Father.S02E10.REPACK.WEBRip.x264-XEN0N

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian Download
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,010 --> 00:00:08,304 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪ 2 00:00:08,305 --> 00:00:12,351 ♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪ 3 00:00:15,020 --> 00:00:17,021 Oh, son, when you're young, 4 00:00:17,022 --> 00:00:20,275 it's easy to think that older people have all the answers. 5 00:00:20,859 --> 00:00:21,943 But then you date one, 6 00:00:21,944 --> 00:00:24,550 and you realize we're all just flying blind. 7 00:00:24,575 --> 00:00:26,421 Yeah, I actually dated a senior 8 00:00:26,446 --> 00:00:29,033 for a few months last semester, so I-I know what you mean, you know? 9 00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:31,537 Sweetie. I'm kind of in the middle of a story here. 10 00:00:32,538 --> 00:00:36,123 Your generation just loves to talk about themselves. 11 00:00:36,124 --> 00:00:38,000 Anyway, um, 12 00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:40,711 I had been dating Robert for a few weeks, 13 00:00:40,712 --> 00:00:43,548 and it was putting a real spring in my step. 14 00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:47,760 Guys! I just saw a pigeon 15 00:00:47,761 --> 00:00:49,929 on a romantic stroll... 16 00:00:49,930 --> 00:00:51,306 with a rat. 17 00:00:51,682 --> 00:00:54,725 Well, well, well, if it isn't our long-lost lovestruck Sophie. 18 00:00:54,726 --> 00:00:58,229 You've been off in Robert-land forever. 19 00:00:58,230 --> 00:01:00,273 The apartment's a wreck, and Cowgirl Cleanup 20 00:01:00,274 --> 00:01:01,691 is a two-woman job. 21 00:01:02,943 --> 00:01:05,278 Whoa, Nelly! 22 00:01:05,279 --> 00:01:07,572 This bronco's got buck! 23 00:01:07,573 --> 00:01:11,367 We promised each other that we wouldn't talk about Cowgirl Cleanup 24 00:01:11,368 --> 00:01:12,953 until the trademark clears. 25 00:01:15,372 --> 00:01:17,290 Okay. Yeah. I know I've been gone a lot, 26 00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:20,627 but it's just that Robert keeps planning all of these amazing dates. 27 00:01:20,961 --> 00:01:23,462 I have not set an alarm in years. 28 00:01:23,463 --> 00:01:26,466 My body just naturally wakes up at 6 AM. 29 00:01:27,301 --> 00:01:29,303 You're amazing. 30 00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:32,597 This is my tomato bisque. 31 00:01:35,601 --> 00:01:37,019 Holy shit! 32 00:01:39,354 --> 00:01:40,479 Whoa! 33 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,523 And then, we go back to his apartment, 34 00:01:42,524 --> 00:01:45,318 which overlooks Central Park, and we do it until the sun comes up. 35 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,153 I got a question. When you're "doing it," 36 00:01:47,154 --> 00:01:50,239 do you ever accidentally activate his Life Alert necklace? 37 00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:54,577 - Ha. 'Cause he's older. - Yes. 38 00:01:54,578 --> 00:01:57,121 Does he sleep in one of those floor-length grandpa nightgowns? 39 00:01:57,122 --> 00:01:59,081 Yeah, with one of those long pointy hats? 40 00:01:59,082 --> 00:02:00,166 And he's all like, 41 00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:03,252 "honk-shoo, honk-shoo, mimimimimi!" 42 00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:05,588 Ignore them, Soph. I think it's great. 43 00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:08,466 It actually got me to widen the age range on my dating apps, 44 00:02:08,467 --> 00:02:09,968 and I met someone. 45 00:02:10,802 --> 00:02:13,721 Wait, you're dating a new guy? Well, how do I not know this? 46 00:02:13,722 --> 00:02:15,765 Well ... I'm late to meet him. 47 00:02:15,766 --> 00:02:18,185 I'll fill you in later. We can do Cowgirl Confessions. 48 00:02:18,852 --> 00:02:20,372 Save it for the Sharks! 49 00:02:22,773 --> 00:02:25,066 Guys, Robert is going to be here any minute, okay? 50 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:27,151 So, no more old man jokes. 51 00:02:27,152 --> 00:02:29,862 Of course not. We want him to feel totally comfortable here. 52 00:02:29,863 --> 00:02:31,739 That's why Sid put prune juice on tap. 53 00:02:34,493 --> 00:02:35,535 What are we laughing at? 54 00:02:35,536 --> 00:02:38,746 We're just razzing our friend 'cause she's dating an old guy. 55 00:02:38,747 --> 00:02:40,081 Yeah. 56 00:02:40,082 --> 00:02:42,292 - I believe that's me. - Oh, what? 57 00:02:43,877 --> 00:02:46,547 But, you're... beautiful. 58 00:02:48,257 --> 00:02:50,299 Uh, Robert, meet my friends. 59 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,176 Friends, this is Robert. 60 00:02:52,177 --> 00:02:54,638 Zamn, Zaddy! Your skin is golden. 61 00:02:55,389 --> 00:02:58,808 It's like the flesh of a sun-dappled peach on a late summer's evening. 62 00:02:58,809 --> 00:03:00,310 - May I? - Sure. 63 00:03:01,436 --> 00:03:04,438 Oh, my God. How do you get it to stay so supple? It's so... 64 00:03:04,439 --> 00:03:06,774 - Okay, we don't need another lawsuit. - Yeah. 65 00:03:06,775 --> 00:03:08,526 Introductions are over. 66 00:03:08,527 --> 00:03:10,528 Ah, your friends are nice. Little handsy, but nice. 67 00:03:10,529 --> 00:03:13,030 Uh, yeah, th-that's them in a nutshell. 68 00:03:13,031 --> 00:03:14,657 Hey, you know what? 69 00:03:14,658 --> 00:03:16,159 I was thinking... 70 00:03:16,910 --> 00:03:19,287 tonight, I would take you out. 71 00:03:19,288 --> 00:03:20,538 And by "out," 72 00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:22,999 I mean, in to my apartment, 73 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,002 where it's cozy. And cheap. 74 00:03:25,961 --> 00:03:28,838 A night in at your place sounds great. 75 00:03:28,839 --> 00:03:30,215 Yeah. 76 00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,801 You okay? 77 00:03:33,177 --> 00:03:35,636 I just kind of thought he'd be, like, some old novelty 78 00:03:35,637 --> 00:03:38,514 she'd be into for a while, and then get tired of, you know? 79 00:03:38,515 --> 00:03:41,018 Like those two weeks she tried being a top hat person. 80 00:03:41,727 --> 00:03:43,227 You're sure it's not giving Lincoln? 81 00:03:43,228 --> 00:03:45,856 Only in that it's blowing my brains out. 82 00:03:46,565 --> 00:03:47,940 I'm sorry. 83 00:03:47,941 --> 00:03:50,484 Maybe his organs are in worse shape than his outer body, 84 00:03:50,485 --> 00:03:51,987 and he won't live much longer. 85 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:54,864 Probably not, though. 86 00:03:54,865 --> 00:03:56,867 He glows from within. 87 00:03:57,910 --> 00:03:59,577 Hey! 88 00:03:59,578 --> 00:04:01,245 Class of '88. Me, too. 89 00:04:01,246 --> 00:04:02,372 Huh?! 90 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:05,499 I'm sorry. What, you two are the same age? 91 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,085 Looks like it. 92 00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:09,213 Does not! 93 00:04:11,298 --> 00:04:13,341 Sid, promise me that in 25 years, we're gonna look like him, 94 00:04:13,342 --> 00:04:15,176 and not like him. 95 00:04:15,177 --> 00:04:17,346 - Sorry, no offense. - Huh?! 96 00:04:18,013 --> 00:04:21,141 Dude, of course, we're gonna age like Robert. Look at us. 97 00:04:21,808 --> 00:04:23,017 No, you're right. 98 00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:24,936 And that one gray hair, nothing to worry about. 99 00:04:24,937 --> 00:04:26,647 Exactly, dude. I barely even see it. 100 00:04:27,564 --> 00:04:29,106 - What, me? - Yeah. 101 00:04:29,107 --> 00:04:30,983 No, I meant your gray hair. I don't have any gray hair. 102 00:04:30,984 --> 00:04:32,110 Neither do I. 103 00:04:32,569 --> 00:04:34,488 No, no! 104 00:04:37,908 --> 00:04:39,159 What's up, sad boy? 105 00:04:41,203 --> 00:04:42,662 Figured you could use a hang. 106 00:04:42,663 --> 00:04:45,164 Plus, Rachel's still in Florida taking care of her aunt. 107 00:04:45,165 --> 00:04:47,124 I'm lonely, I'm bored, 108 00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:49,502 - and I miss my bae's touch! - Okay. 109 00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:52,713 Not loving your touch right now, but, uh, okay, fine. 110 00:04:52,714 --> 00:04:54,924 Yeah, I guess I could use the company. 111 00:04:54,925 --> 00:04:56,300 I'll go order us a pizza. 112 00:04:56,301 --> 00:04:58,135 Can Robert do that? 113 00:04:58,136 --> 00:05:00,336 Probably just make it, since he's a super-talented chef. 114 00:05:02,307 --> 00:05:05,269 I mean, I hate that old dirtbag! 115 00:05:07,062 --> 00:05:08,480 Ooh. 116 00:05:08,897 --> 00:05:09,982 Oh! 117 00:05:10,732 --> 00:05:12,900 Hey, babe. How's Boca? RACHEL Don't know. 118 00:05:12,901 --> 00:05:15,528 I flew home early. My aunt's Florida friends were all, 119 00:05:15,529 --> 00:05:16,904 "Don't say gay." And I was like, 120 00:05:16,905 --> 00:05:19,616 "You know what? I'm gonna say it. Gay! Bye!" 121 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,451 Come over. I haven't seen you in weeks, 122 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:25,746 and there's some things we couldn't do on FaceTime. 123 00:05:25,747 --> 00:05:28,457 I'm dying to do those things, but I promised Jesse we'd hang. 124 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:29,709 Maybe I can bail? 125 00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:31,586 Yeah, hi. Yeah, I'll get a sausage pie, please. 126 00:05:31,587 --> 00:05:34,547 Oh, a-and make it a large 'cause I'm hangin' with my sister. 127 00:05:36,425 --> 00:05:37,467 I can't bail. 128 00:05:37,843 --> 00:05:40,095 You're so lucky your brother's in prison. 129 00:05:40,637 --> 00:05:43,347 Oh, man. We are aging so much faster than I thought! 130 00:05:43,348 --> 00:05:44,348 Oh, you're right. 131 00:05:44,349 --> 00:05:46,351 We look like Grace and Frankie's grandfathers. 132 00:05:47,352 --> 00:05:49,395 The lighting in here is not helping! 133 00:05:49,396 --> 00:05:50,916 Siddhartha, do not blame the lighting! 134 00:05:51,648 --> 00:05:53,357 Two paths diverging into the woods. 135 00:05:53,358 --> 00:05:55,359 One leads to gorgeous Robert, 136 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,653 and the other leads to that cranky old man at the bar 137 00:05:57,654 --> 00:05:59,865 whose head looks like a scrotum. 138 00:06:00,532 --> 00:06:01,782 Dude, you're right. 139 00:06:01,783 --> 00:06:03,868 We gotta start taking better care of ourselves right now. 140 00:06:03,869 --> 00:06:06,078 That's how you get to be a Robert. 141 00:06:06,079 --> 00:06:09,540 Just need to be calm about this. Don't need to do anything drastic. 142 00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:12,711 Oh, absolutely. Calm. Non-drastic. 143 00:06:13,337 --> 00:06:15,297 We will do anything to look young forever! 144 00:06:30,395 --> 00:06:33,649 Wowza. I am romantic as butt. 145 00:06:34,608 --> 00:06:37,527 Hey, Val! 146 00:06:37,528 --> 00:06:38,694 Hey! 147 00:06:38,695 --> 00:06:41,198 Wait, did you sign up for Big Brother, Big Sister without me? 148 00:06:42,491 --> 00:06:45,494 What? This is the guy I told you about. Swish. 149 00:06:46,161 --> 00:06:46,995 Swish? 150 00:06:46,996 --> 00:06:48,746 Sup? 151 00:06:48,747 --> 00:06:51,624 We got kicked out of his dorm for hustling a game of flip cup, 152 00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:55,586 and Swish lost his fake ID, so he can't go to bars. 153 00:06:55,587 --> 00:06:57,713 Your guys' place is sick! 154 00:06:57,714 --> 00:07:00,092 - My girl is hella aspirational. - Aw... 155 00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:04,595 Um, Val? Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute? 156 00:07:04,596 --> 00:07:06,598 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 157 00:07:09,268 --> 00:07:10,268 How old is he? 158 00:07:10,269 --> 00:07:13,646 NYU, Class of '26, bay-bee! 159 00:07:13,647 --> 00:07:15,649 Two-six! 160 00:07:17,192 --> 00:07:20,486 Okay, I am super happy for you, but you guys can't stay here 161 00:07:20,487 --> 00:07:23,567 'cause Robert's gonna be here any minute, and I have this whole night planned. 162 00:07:23,699 --> 00:07:25,616 Soph, you've barely been home for weeks, 163 00:07:25,617 --> 00:07:27,410 and now, you're trying to kick me out? 164 00:07:27,411 --> 00:07:28,786 Please! 165 00:07:28,787 --> 00:07:30,997 - I'm trying to have a date. - Me, too. 166 00:07:30,998 --> 00:07:33,417 Y'all have your own bedrooms?! Damn! 167 00:07:34,418 --> 00:07:36,920 Okay, but yours is ridiculous. 168 00:07:38,046 --> 00:07:41,300 You and Robert are no less ridiculous than me and Swish. 169 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,634 And we're not going anywhere, so I guess the four of us 170 00:07:43,635 --> 00:07:45,678 will just have to share the apartment tonight. 171 00:07:48,432 --> 00:07:50,017 - Fine. - Fine. 172 00:07:54,354 --> 00:07:55,856 Sup, sir? I'm Swish. 173 00:07:56,565 --> 00:07:58,108 Whoa, pink wine? 174 00:08:03,655 --> 00:08:05,531 This is our cryotherapy chamber. 175 00:08:05,532 --> 00:08:08,201 The subzero nitrogen helps detoxify the body 176 00:08:08,202 --> 00:08:10,286 while also reducing oxidative stress. 177 00:08:10,287 --> 00:08:12,997 You know, I am so glad scientists gave up on climate change 178 00:08:12,998 --> 00:08:15,292 and started focusing on making us look hot. 179 00:08:19,796 --> 00:08:22,590 Some people find it helpful to sing a song 180 00:08:22,591 --> 00:08:24,509 to keep your mind off the pain. 181 00:08:24,510 --> 00:08:26,761 Sorry, the what now? 182 00:08:26,762 --> 00:08:29,847 - Ah! Ah! Oh, my God! Cold! Cold! - Ah! Ow! Ow! 183 00:08:29,848 --> 00:08:30,848 Try singing! 184 00:08:31,391 --> 00:08:33,100 Uh, la la la! 185 00:08:33,101 --> 00:08:34,727 La la la! 186 00:08:34,728 --> 00:08:37,188 - Are you singing or crying? - Both! 187 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,951 Would you like more salad? 188 00:08:49,952 --> 00:08:52,538 No, I never went to college. 189 00:08:53,622 --> 00:08:55,582 No, salad! 190 00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:57,751 Yeah. 191 00:08:59,711 --> 00:09:02,171 - Uh, so I was thinking... - What? 192 00:09:02,172 --> 00:09:04,007 I was... Oh, my God. 193 00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:06,425 Val! 194 00:09:06,426 --> 00:09:07,553 Val! 195 00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:15,935 Hey. Why don't you join us? We have plenty of food. 196 00:09:15,936 --> 00:09:18,521 You must have worked up an appetite with all that jumping. 197 00:09:18,522 --> 00:09:21,148 Fire! I'd love to throw a fork in that. 198 00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:24,443 Ah, yes. That is a fire idea, Robert. 199 00:09:24,444 --> 00:09:27,071 See? My guy's mature and deals with problems. 200 00:09:27,072 --> 00:09:28,115 Yeah. Back problems. 201 00:09:29,908 --> 00:09:32,035 Where's the mirror? 202 00:09:32,536 --> 00:09:34,037 I want to see how good we look. 203 00:09:34,705 --> 00:09:39,000 Oh, you won't see results after just one treatment. 204 00:09:39,001 --> 00:09:41,168 Most of our clients like to come in twice a week. 205 00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,881 Uh, we're looking for something we'd only have to do, like, 206 00:09:44,590 --> 00:09:45,632 twice a year. 207 00:09:46,341 --> 00:09:47,384 Of course. 208 00:09:49,052 --> 00:09:50,928 Well, whatever she has in mind, it can't possibly hurt 209 00:09:50,929 --> 00:09:52,680 as much as that just did. 210 00:09:52,681 --> 00:09:54,683 How do we feel about needles? 211 00:09:56,602 --> 00:09:58,520 Depends on where you're gonna stick it, Kirstin. 212 00:10:01,273 --> 00:10:02,524 Sorry that took so long. 213 00:10:04,234 --> 00:10:05,276 Ellen? 214 00:10:10,824 --> 00:10:12,617 Oh, my God! 215 00:10:12,618 --> 00:10:14,243 Oh, my God! Get out, get out, get out! 216 00:10:18,165 --> 00:10:20,041 I'm so, so sorry! 217 00:10:20,042 --> 00:10:22,168 Rachel came home early, and I didn't wanna ditch you, 218 00:10:22,169 --> 00:10:24,503 so I asked her over here. And then you were gone so long. 219 00:10:24,504 --> 00:10:25,588 And then one thing led to another. 220 00:10:25,589 --> 00:10:27,465 And then I just need you to know that it was not my boob! 221 00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:29,717 - What?! - I think you saw a boob back there, 222 00:10:29,718 --> 00:10:33,095 a-and it's important to me that you know that was your sister's girlfriend's boob 223 00:10:33,096 --> 00:10:34,890 and not your sister's boob! 224 00:10:35,599 --> 00:10:37,016 Why would you use my bed? 225 00:10:37,017 --> 00:10:40,019 At least somebody's using it. 226 00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:41,860 What is that supposed to mean?! - Nothing! 227 00:10:42,314 --> 00:10:45,191 I-I might have told her that you haven't slept with anyone since Meredith. 228 00:10:45,192 --> 00:10:46,651 What? For all you know, 229 00:10:46,652 --> 00:10:48,444 I could've slept with dozens of women since Meredith! 230 00:10:48,445 --> 00:10:50,279 No, Sid hasn't texted me. 231 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,822 You and Sid text about my sex life. 232 00:10:51,823 --> 00:10:53,366 Not lately. 233 00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:54,909 How did this happen?! 234 00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,536 How did I become the guy who has so little sex 235 00:10:56,537 --> 00:10:57,828 that people text about it?! 236 00:10:57,829 --> 00:10:59,080 I mean, I'm cool! 237 00:10:59,081 --> 00:11:01,791 I play the guitar! I collect vintage T-shirts! 238 00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:05,754 Yes, 'cause you have a lot of extra time from not having sex. 239 00:11:06,463 --> 00:11:09,633 Really glad we're finally getting to spend some time together, Rachel. 240 00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:12,844 Jesse, yes, you're cool. 241 00:11:12,845 --> 00:11:15,721 But, you're also a softie who's hung up on a hottie 242 00:11:15,722 --> 00:11:17,890 who's into an oldie. And I hate to say it, bro, 243 00:11:17,891 --> 00:11:19,141 but you need to move on. 244 00:11:19,142 --> 00:11:20,852 Or, at the very least, take back the bed. 245 00:11:20,853 --> 00:11:23,229 You're right. I need to take back the bed. 246 00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:25,630 I'm gonna go out right now and find a woman to have sex with. 247 00:11:26,608 --> 00:11:29,068 In a very respectful way where she also mutually 248 00:11:29,069 --> 00:11:30,611 wants to have sex with me. 249 00:11:30,612 --> 00:11:32,154 - Totally! Get back out there. - Oh, yes! 250 00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:33,239 Leave now! We'll watch the place. 251 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,199 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 252 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,450 You're coming with me, okay? 253 00:11:36,451 --> 00:11:39,161 Nothing is creepier than a single straight white guy 254 00:11:39,162 --> 00:11:41,539 sitting alone at a bar, trying to pick up women. 255 00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:43,332 Fine. Great. 256 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:45,543 I can't get laid until my brother gets laid. 257 00:11:45,544 --> 00:11:48,254 Love it. Very Mormon. 258 00:11:50,465 --> 00:11:51,549 So, Swish? 259 00:11:51,550 --> 00:11:53,552 What'd you learn at school today? 260 00:11:53,927 --> 00:11:56,137 Um, we've been studying really old films. 261 00:11:56,138 --> 00:11:58,055 Uh, specifically from the late '90s. 262 00:11:58,056 --> 00:11:59,932 My thesis is on the Scream franchise. 263 00:11:59,933 --> 00:12:01,976 Ooh! I catered the New York premiere. 264 00:12:01,977 --> 00:12:04,605 David Arquette loved my hummus. 265 00:12:05,397 --> 00:12:07,148 Mad respect, sir. 266 00:12:07,149 --> 00:12:08,941 Is it true landlines were invented for that movie? 267 00:12:08,942 --> 00:12:10,151 Oh, Robert. 268 00:12:10,152 --> 00:12:12,528 You do not have to help Swish with his homework. 269 00:12:12,529 --> 00:12:13,863 Oh, I don't know. 270 00:12:13,864 --> 00:12:17,326 I think it might be nice for Swish to learn from his elders. 271 00:12:18,744 --> 00:12:20,454 Isn't that what he's doing with you? 272 00:12:20,996 --> 00:12:23,456 Besides, Robert and I have important... 273 00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:24,874 grown-up things to talk about. 274 00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:28,127 You know what? Nothing makes you sound more like a dumb baby 275 00:12:28,128 --> 00:12:30,087 than when you call something "grown-up." 276 00:12:30,088 --> 00:12:33,168 Oh, you should know a thing or two about dumb babies 'cause you're dating one. 277 00:12:35,052 --> 00:12:36,372 We should just stay quiet, right? 278 00:12:36,845 --> 00:12:38,554 You're very smart for your age. 279 00:12:43,268 --> 00:12:46,521 This is our top-of-the-line age simulator. 280 00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:50,150 I can show you exactly how you'll look in 25 years if you do nothing. 281 00:12:52,861 --> 00:12:56,781 Oh, my face. Oh, my beautiful face! 282 00:12:56,782 --> 00:12:58,199 Well, good luck to you, buddy. 283 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,369 I guess some of us are just blessed with good genes. 284 00:13:00,911 --> 00:13:01,911 You know what they say. 285 00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:04,455 "South Asian don't raisin." 286 00:13:04,456 --> 00:13:07,709 Oops. I-I forgot to hit play on your simulation. 287 00:13:10,587 --> 00:13:13,590 I'm a raisin! I'm a raisin! 288 00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:16,385 Shoot us up with everything you've got. 289 00:13:20,889 --> 00:13:23,641 Jesse, I promise you don't say "hello" weird. 290 00:13:23,642 --> 00:13:25,560 Just go talk to that cute girl. 291 00:13:25,561 --> 00:13:27,270 Are you sure? It feels like it's coming out weird. 292 00:13:27,271 --> 00:13:29,146 Hello. Hallo. Hallo? 293 00:13:29,147 --> 00:13:31,149 - Just go with hi! - Hi! 294 00:13:32,317 --> 00:13:34,820 - Hi! Hi! - Hi! Hi. 295 00:13:36,864 --> 00:13:39,574 Wait, wait. C-can you do the sound of the dial-up modem again? 296 00:13:39,575 --> 00:13:41,284 The modem goes like this. 297 00:13:44,746 --> 00:13:46,456 ♪ beatboxing along ♪ 298 00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:52,086 ♪ harmonizing ♪ 299 00:13:52,087 --> 00:13:54,005 Anyone need more wine? I need wine. 300 00:13:54,006 --> 00:13:55,965 Hey, actually, I'm going to, uh, 301 00:13:55,966 --> 00:13:57,717 use the facility and get going. 302 00:13:57,718 --> 00:13:59,678 No. No no, don't get going. 303 00:14:00,095 --> 00:14:02,472 Valentina, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute? 304 00:14:03,348 --> 00:14:05,433 You guys are driving Robert out of here, 305 00:14:05,434 --> 00:14:07,435 and I know you're not really that into Swish. 306 00:14:07,436 --> 00:14:09,645 You're wrong. I like Swish. 307 00:14:09,646 --> 00:14:11,522 I really like Swish. 308 00:14:11,523 --> 00:14:13,442 In fact, I think I love Swish. 309 00:14:16,028 --> 00:14:18,988 If you swear to me that you're serious about Swish, 310 00:14:18,989 --> 00:14:21,617 then I'll drop it and be happy for you. 311 00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:27,079 Fine. I'm not serious about Swish. 312 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,624 I was just mad that you made fun of my relationship, 313 00:14:29,625 --> 00:14:31,792 and then tried to kick me out of our apartment. 314 00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:32,793 Okay. 315 00:14:32,794 --> 00:14:34,795 And that was lame of me, alright? 316 00:14:34,796 --> 00:14:37,298 But, I-I was just nervous about hosting Robert. 317 00:14:37,299 --> 00:14:39,425 We never have grown-ups here that aren't our parents. 318 00:14:39,426 --> 00:14:41,427 Soph, you have to stop saying grown-ups. 319 00:14:41,428 --> 00:14:42,679 I know! 320 00:14:44,431 --> 00:14:46,682 Why are you hanging out with Swish when you don't really like him? 321 00:14:46,683 --> 00:14:48,518 Oh, I like him fine. 322 00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:51,521 I mean, obviously, I'll get bored and end it soon, 323 00:14:51,522 --> 00:14:52,980 but he's a lot of fun. 324 00:14:52,981 --> 00:14:55,233 And a hell of an ego boost. 325 00:14:55,234 --> 00:14:58,069 I do any basic adult things, Swish is like, 326 00:14:58,070 --> 00:15:01,323 "Holy shit!" or, "Whoa!" or, "You're amazing!" 327 00:15:02,950 --> 00:15:03,950 Oh no. 328 00:15:04,993 --> 00:15:05,993 Holy shit! 329 00:15:05,994 --> 00:15:07,036 Whoa! 330 00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:08,705 You're amazing. 331 00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:11,249 I'm Robert's Swish. 332 00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:16,212 What are you in the mood for? Wine? Beer? 333 00:15:16,213 --> 00:15:17,213 I can make you a Manhattan 334 00:15:17,214 --> 00:15:20,133 if you promise not to judge me for googling it. 335 00:15:24,012 --> 00:15:25,012 Please don't look at us! 336 00:15:25,013 --> 00:15:27,890 Just try to remember me as I was! 337 00:15:27,891 --> 00:15:29,767 What the hell happened to you two? 338 00:15:29,768 --> 00:15:32,103 We got some preventative work done. 339 00:15:32,104 --> 00:15:34,063 But I had an allergic reaction to the Botox. 340 00:15:34,064 --> 00:15:36,817 My body is literally rejecting youth. 341 00:15:38,151 --> 00:15:40,654 I'm just a little bit raw from the lasers. 342 00:15:41,613 --> 00:15:43,656 And the needling. 343 00:15:43,657 --> 00:15:45,616 And the chemical peel. 344 00:15:45,617 --> 00:15:49,162 Honestly, it is disgusting the hoops we make men jump through. 345 00:15:50,205 --> 00:15:52,374 Anne, I'd like you to meet Charlie and Sid. 346 00:15:58,922 --> 00:16:00,423 I really like your room. 347 00:16:00,424 --> 00:16:02,216 Thanks. I, uh, 348 00:16:02,217 --> 00:16:03,676 painted it myself. 349 00:16:03,677 --> 00:16:05,095 Ooh... 350 00:16:12,060 --> 00:16:14,353 Whose bra is this? 351 00:16:14,354 --> 00:16:15,563 D-do you have a girlfriend? 352 00:16:15,564 --> 00:16:17,648 No, no, no. H-honestly, it's probably just my sister's. 353 00:16:17,649 --> 00:16:19,049 She was having sex in here earlier. 354 00:16:19,776 --> 00:16:22,278 Not with me. We don't do that. She's adopted. 355 00:16:22,279 --> 00:16:24,155 Don't know why I said that. Uh... 356 00:16:26,366 --> 00:16:28,201 I'll call you a Lyft. 357 00:16:28,202 --> 00:16:29,203 Yeah. 358 00:16:31,581 --> 00:16:34,290 Soph! Relax. You are not Robert's Swish. 359 00:16:34,291 --> 00:16:35,708 - He really likes you. - Yeah, 360 00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:37,627 he likes me for the moment 361 00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:40,713 because I'm young and fun and easily impressed. 362 00:16:40,714 --> 00:16:43,217 Okay, but what happens when the novelty wears off? 363 00:16:44,009 --> 00:16:46,970 It's gonna be like that time when I decided to be a top hat person. 364 00:16:47,679 --> 00:16:48,889 Nope! 365 00:16:50,015 --> 00:16:52,892 Okay, if you're feeling worried about it, then test it out. 366 00:16:52,893 --> 00:16:55,394 Try to make plans with Robert for, like, a month from now. 367 00:16:55,395 --> 00:16:58,106 If he commits, you're golden. If he doesn't... 368 00:16:59,066 --> 00:17:00,317 you're his Swish. 369 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,568 Genius. 370 00:17:02,569 --> 00:17:03,694 Mm-hmm. 371 00:17:03,695 --> 00:17:07,114 Swish and I will give you guys some space... 372 00:17:07,115 --> 00:17:09,200 I don't know where he went. 373 00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:11,160 Maybe he has a curfew? 374 00:17:11,161 --> 00:17:12,828 Hey. That was fun. 375 00:17:12,829 --> 00:17:14,163 Thank you for dinner. 376 00:17:14,164 --> 00:17:16,457 Oh, come on! No, it-it's still early. 377 00:17:16,458 --> 00:17:19,627 - No, I-I really gotta get home. - Okay, but before you do, uh, 378 00:17:19,628 --> 00:17:23,381 the Fleet Foxes are playing Webster Hall in a few weeks. 379 00:17:23,382 --> 00:17:24,382 We should go. 380 00:17:24,383 --> 00:17:26,008 Uh, call you tomorrow. We'll talk all about it. 381 00:17:26,009 --> 00:17:27,176 Okay, but I have it right here. 382 00:17:27,177 --> 00:17:28,636 Hey, don't go rushing into buying anything. 383 00:17:28,637 --> 00:17:30,264 No, no, no! Who's rushing? 384 00:17:32,015 --> 00:17:33,099 Just take a peep. 385 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:36,227 Just send me the information, and, you know, we'll figure it out. 386 00:17:36,228 --> 00:17:39,814 Oh! Maybe concerts aren't your thing, but here is a list 387 00:17:39,815 --> 00:17:41,440 of upcoming events in the city. 388 00:17:41,441 --> 00:17:43,150 There's museums and flea markets... 389 00:17:43,151 --> 00:17:45,278 Politically incorrect puppet shows! 390 00:17:45,279 --> 00:17:46,405 Please let me go home! 391 00:17:47,239 --> 00:17:49,490 Our dates have kept me up late for the last two weeks, 392 00:17:49,491 --> 00:17:50,908 and if I don't go home right now 393 00:17:50,909 --> 00:17:52,577 and get nine hours of sleep 394 00:17:52,578 --> 00:17:56,081 on my Tempur-Pedic mattress, I-I'm gonna physically collapse. 395 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,001 So, you're not avoiding making plans with me 396 00:18:00,002 --> 00:18:03,213 because you don't wanna commit to seeing me a month from now? 397 00:18:04,131 --> 00:18:05,339 What? 398 00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:07,216 No, I'm not making plans 399 00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:10,512 'cause I can't see your phone without my reading glasses. 400 00:18:11,096 --> 00:18:12,513 But I didn't wanna tell you that 401 00:18:12,514 --> 00:18:14,724 or admit how tired I am 402 00:18:14,725 --> 00:18:16,934 because I don't want you to feel like you're dating 403 00:18:16,935 --> 00:18:19,313 an old guy. Just an older guy. 404 00:18:21,690 --> 00:18:24,692 I'll tell you what. How about next Saturday, 405 00:18:24,693 --> 00:18:28,071 or however far into the future you want me to commit, 406 00:18:28,989 --> 00:18:31,365 we'll go to my place upstate. 407 00:18:31,366 --> 00:18:33,827 Whole weekend. Just me and you. 408 00:18:36,038 --> 00:18:37,288 I choose next Saturday. 409 00:18:37,289 --> 00:18:38,581 I was hoping you would. 410 00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:42,293 Val! 411 00:18:43,545 --> 00:18:44,712 V-Valentina? 412 00:18:44,713 --> 00:18:46,298 There you are! 413 00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:49,175 Look, uh, 414 00:18:49,176 --> 00:18:51,678 I-I know we've only been dating for a few weeks, but... 415 00:18:52,888 --> 00:18:53,931 when you know, you know. 416 00:18:56,850 --> 00:18:59,018 I've never met anyone like you, 417 00:18:59,019 --> 00:19:00,978 and I love you, and... 418 00:19:00,979 --> 00:19:01,980 I know you love me, too. 419 00:19:02,898 --> 00:19:03,898 Will you marry me? 420 00:19:06,109 --> 00:19:07,527 - Yeah, okay. - What? 421 00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:08,778 Ah! 422 00:19:08,779 --> 00:19:10,571 She said yes! You said yes! 423 00:19:10,572 --> 00:19:12,949 Oh, my gosh, I gotta call my mom right now! 424 00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:15,244 Oh! Sorry. 425 00:19:17,454 --> 00:19:18,663 Why would you say yes? 426 00:19:18,664 --> 00:19:20,207 I didn't wanna be mean! 427 00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:22,917 Kids these days have, like, zero attention span. 428 00:19:22,918 --> 00:19:24,294 He'll forget about it by tomorrow. 429 00:19:26,171 --> 00:19:27,839 He wouldn't. 32202

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.