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1
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- Previously on How
I Met Your Father...
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00:00:03,296 --> 00:00:06,341
- I think I've found the man that I'm
gonna spend the rest of my life with.
3
00:00:06,758 --> 00:00:08,802
I'm moving to Australia.
4
00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:11,554
- We're married!
- Aaah!
5
00:00:11,555 --> 00:00:13,013
What?
6
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:16,141
Valentina... I don't want kids.
7
00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:17,601
We broke up.
8
00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:19,311
I moved to New
York to start over,
9
00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:20,646
reconnect with my brother.
10
00:00:20,647 --> 00:00:22,231
- Aaaah!
- Whoo!
11
00:00:22,232 --> 00:00:24,191
- Oh, my God, my brother and I...
- Okay, yeah.
12
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,526
- Jesse and I see the
world the same way.
13
00:00:25,527 --> 00:00:28,113
And there's been something
between us since the day we met.
14
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:30,615
We need to break up.
15
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,199
What?
16
00:00:32,701 --> 00:00:34,828
I love you, Sophie.
17
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,538
- We don't even know if
this is gonna work out.
18
00:00:37,539 --> 00:00:38,498
Got it.
19
00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:40,708
- What did Jesse
do wrong other than
20
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:43,419
say everything you ever
wanted a guy to say
21
00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:45,754
just faster than you expected.
22
00:00:51,261 --> 00:00:52,678
Hi!
23
00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:53,804
Hi.
24
00:00:53,805 --> 00:00:55,514
Is this a good time?
25
00:01:03,857 --> 00:01:07,234
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
26
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:10,030
♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da
da-da-da ♪
27
00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:17,161
Mom? Mom! Where are you?
28
00:01:17,162 --> 00:01:20,706
If you don't come back in three
seconds, I'm going to hang up!
29
00:01:20,707 --> 00:01:22,458
Three, two...
30
00:01:22,459 --> 00:01:24,836
Calm down! I'm right here!
31
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,923
God, you're, like,
obsessed with my story.
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00:01:29,341 --> 00:01:31,759
You said you'd be
right back, and then you vanished.
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00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,637
It felt like a year.
Wait, did you make food?
34
00:01:34,638 --> 00:01:37,307
Spaghetti pomodoro, yes!
35
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:40,143
I also took a power nap.
36
00:01:41,186 --> 00:01:43,688
Telling a story of this
breadth is exhausting.
37
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:47,816
Okay, back to the night
of my first gallery show.
38
00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,276
Is this a good time?
39
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:50,945
Um...
40
00:01:50,946 --> 00:01:52,030
I'm back in New York.
41
00:01:52,614 --> 00:01:53,781
I see that.
42
00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:56,409
- I saw your post about the show
and I decided to surprise you.
43
00:01:57,452 --> 00:01:58,577
Surprise!
44
00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:05,584
I hope me showing up
like this is okay.
45
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:09,339
I mean, I have no idea what's going
on in your life right now. Like...
46
00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:11,466
romantically?
47
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:16,136
- I considered what a hot
mess my last 48 hours were.
48
00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,846
The forbidden kisses.
49
00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,139
The break-ups.
50
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,349
The hook-ups.
51
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,142
The sleep "I love you's."
52
00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,519
The flame-outs.
53
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,145
The betrayals.
54
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,730
The murders.
55
00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:28,107
Wait, what?
56
00:02:28,108 --> 00:02:30,318
- I killed a rat right
before my gallery show.
57
00:02:31,444 --> 00:02:33,654
It-it's not related to
my horrible love life.
58
00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:36,535
It was just... It was... Well, it was,
you know... It was weighing on me.
59
00:02:37,784 --> 00:02:39,743
Anyway, I was torn.
60
00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:42,247
I mean, his timing,
it was terrible!
61
00:02:43,248 --> 00:02:45,332
But, on the other hand,
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00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:48,336
I was getting a second shot
with the one that got away.
63
00:02:49,671 --> 00:02:50,838
So, I said...
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00:02:50,839 --> 00:02:54,675
- There is absolutely nothing
going on with me romantically.
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00:02:54,676 --> 00:02:57,429
- Great. Can I buy you
a drink after this?
66
00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,555
I'd like that.
67
00:02:59,556 --> 00:03:02,182
Excuse me.
68
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,894
I need to steal the
artist and introduce her
69
00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:06,353
to reality!
70
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,273
- What are you doin'?
- What?
71
00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:11,275
- Things with Jesse just ended.
You were really sad about it,
72
00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:13,110
like, five minutes ago.
73
00:03:13,111 --> 00:03:15,029
Are you really ready to
go out with another guy?
74
00:03:15,030 --> 00:03:16,614
- I-I don't know,
75
00:03:16,615 --> 00:03:18,490
but I've already watched Ian
walk out of my life once.
76
00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:20,075
I'm not gonna let him
get away from me again.
77
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:21,660
And I know that came out
a little bit stalker-y,
78
00:03:21,661 --> 00:03:23,329
but it doesn't matter
because you know what?
79
00:03:23,330 --> 00:03:26,917
He tracked me down at my show,
so who's the stalker now? Ha!
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00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:31,545
Hey.
81
00:03:32,297 --> 00:03:33,298
Hey.
82
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:37,636
- So, I wanna hear everything
about your elopement!
83
00:03:38,678 --> 00:03:40,180
Actually...
84
00:03:40,722 --> 00:03:42,682
Congrats.
You're married.
85
00:03:43,683 --> 00:03:45,434
Really? That's it?
86
00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:47,937
- You're not even gonna be like,
"Do you, Sid, take Hannah?"
87
00:03:47,938 --> 00:03:49,022
Who's Sid and Hannah?
88
00:03:50,649 --> 00:03:52,442
Who do you think?
89
00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:55,778
- Oh, my God, I'm gonna have to tell
that story for the rest of my life
90
00:03:55,779 --> 00:03:57,238
- and it...
- Sucks.
91
00:03:57,239 --> 00:03:58,530
And every time we tell it,
92
00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:01,367
everyone's mouth's
gonna be like, "aww."
93
00:04:01,368 --> 00:04:03,160
- Their eyes are gonna be like, "ooh."
- Mm!
94
00:04:06,164 --> 00:04:08,667
- Oh, it's already happening!
Look at their eyes!
95
00:04:10,669 --> 00:04:12,044
Okay...
96
00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:13,295
Okay, it's still
our wedding day.
97
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,297
Let's just... Let's just call
all our friends to the bar
98
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:17,299
and just have the best
wedding party of all time.
99
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,385
And then that will
become our wedding story.
100
00:04:19,386 --> 00:04:20,136
- Mm-hmm.
101
00:04:20,137 --> 00:04:22,222
Damn! I just got husbanded.
102
00:04:23,223 --> 00:04:24,932
- Hey, maybe you two can
do, like, a couple's roast.
103
00:04:24,933 --> 00:04:26,600
That would be funny.
104
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,811
Just don't mention my
Anna Kendrick Cups phase.
105
00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:37,654
We can't do a couple's
roast because...
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00:04:38,697 --> 00:04:40,072
we're not a couple anymore.
107
00:04:40,073 --> 00:04:41,282
Wait, what?
108
00:04:41,283 --> 00:04:44,785
- We realized that we
want different things.
109
00:04:44,786 --> 00:04:46,495
So, we're friends now.
110
00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:49,331
- Can you guys really just turn
it off like that? You know,
111
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:51,126
your dynamic is
incredibly sexual.
112
00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:53,711
You coined the phrase
"Netflix and..."
113
00:05:02,804 --> 00:05:05,222
Th-that's
all in the past.
114
00:05:05,223 --> 00:05:07,474
- We are just buds now.
- Yep.
115
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:10,562
Total bros. Hug it out, bro?
116
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:12,063
Bring it in, bro.
117
00:05:13,773 --> 00:05:14,941
- You're hard, bro.
- Oh.
118
00:05:16,318 --> 00:05:18,152
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
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00:05:18,153 --> 00:05:19,486
I'm here! I'm here! I'm here.
120
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,822
Oh, my God. I raced over
as soon as I saw your text.
121
00:05:21,823 --> 00:05:24,575
Holy shit, man! You're
married?! Wha...
122
00:05:24,576 --> 00:05:26,994
W-what about your wedding
a-and your Indian wedding?
123
00:05:26,995 --> 00:05:29,163
A-and why wasn't I there? I mean,
did you have another best man?
124
00:05:29,164 --> 00:05:31,248
Was he Indian? It's
okay if he was. Like...
125
00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:33,042
- I don't even know why I asked that.
- No.
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00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:35,295
No best man. We eloped.
127
00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:39,215
- Huh? Huh? Just be happy for us, man!
- I am! I am!
128
00:05:39,216 --> 00:05:40,717
Is that Ian?
129
00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:43,052
Yep.
130
00:05:43,053 --> 00:05:45,555
He just got back to town
and came to surprise me.
131
00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:48,391
That's not a problem, is it?
132
00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:51,685
Nope. Why would it be a problem?
133
00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:53,806
- It wouldn't be.
- Great. So there's no problem then.
134
00:05:54,898 --> 00:05:57,149
There's clearly a problem.
135
00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:58,526
Somebody say what's going on.
136
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:02,196
- Sophie and I decided that
us dating was a bad idea.
137
00:06:02,197 --> 00:06:04,740
Oh, so just friends then.
138
00:06:04,741 --> 00:06:06,451
Word of advice. Don't hug her.
139
00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:09,787
Okay, I don't care who's dating
140
00:06:09,788 --> 00:06:12,122
or who's just friends
or who's hard.
141
00:06:12,123 --> 00:06:14,792
Hannah and I get one wedding
day, and you're our best friends,
142
00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:17,086
so you're all gonna come to the
bar, you're going to act normal,
143
00:06:17,087 --> 00:06:19,005
and you're gonna celebrate
our love, damn it!
144
00:06:21,508 --> 00:06:22,591
There's an open bar.
145
00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:27,888
Hoo-hoo!
146
00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:30,432
Sorry. I was trying to
seamlessly cheer my way in.
147
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,935
I missed the window.
148
00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:35,980
- Hey, you know what? About that
drink, my friends just decided
149
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:38,148
to throw a last-minute wedding
party at their bar, so...
150
00:06:38,149 --> 00:06:40,902
That sounds like fun! I'm in!
151
00:06:42,821 --> 00:06:44,822
Okay! Everybody
gets a job.
152
00:06:44,823 --> 00:06:46,824
- Jesse, best man toast.
- Woo!
153
00:06:46,825 --> 00:06:50,244
And may I just say that you
chose the best man for the job?
154
00:06:50,245 --> 00:06:51,412
Ha ha ha!
155
00:06:51,413 --> 00:06:53,914
Keep that out of my toast.
Sophie, you're taking photos.
156
00:06:53,915 --> 00:06:55,416
Ooh, I don't have my camera.
157
00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:57,793
- Oh, really? Does your
phone not have a camera?
158
00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,044
More snapping, less yapping.
159
00:06:59,045 --> 00:07:01,213
Val, Charlie, you're in
charge of the photo montage.
160
00:07:01,214 --> 00:07:03,924
Now, is that clear, or are you
gonna be a Sophie about it?
161
00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:07,469
- And, of course, thank you all so
much for attending our special day.
162
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,972
- What she said. Ellen,
wedding playlist.
163
00:07:09,973 --> 00:07:11,640
Make sure it has
the Electric Slide.
164
00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:14,852
- Dude, no! No, no, everybody
hates the Electric Slide.
165
00:07:14,853 --> 00:07:17,438
Have you not learned your lesson?
Our first week at college,
166
00:07:17,439 --> 00:07:20,524
Sid tried to start a
spontaneous slide on the quad.
167
00:07:20,525 --> 00:07:23,527
- Jesse, I'm doing it.
- No.
168
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:25,154
♪ It's electric! ♪
169
00:07:25,155 --> 00:07:27,114
Let's slide, people!
170
00:07:29,993 --> 00:07:30,994
Okay!
171
00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:37,416
That guy became a
Wesleyan legend.
172
00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:39,127
They called him the Stomper.
173
00:07:39,544 --> 00:07:41,086
- Come on, guys.
It's our wedding.
174
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:44,173
I would rather be electric-cuted.
175
00:07:44,174 --> 00:07:45,675
Ice cold.
176
00:07:46,718 --> 00:07:48,303
I respect it.
177
00:07:50,013 --> 00:07:53,182
- Why don't you go grab us some
drinks and snag us a table?
178
00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:55,893
- Oh, sure. What do you... Oh.
- Just surprise me.
179
00:07:55,894 --> 00:07:57,645
Listen, everyone.
180
00:07:57,646 --> 00:07:59,021
I don't want Ian to know
181
00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,815
that I burned through two
different guys in the past day.
182
00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:05,319
So everyone be cool and
chill. Just like me.
183
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,520
Cool and chill. Yeah? Let me
hear you say it. What am I?
184
00:08:08,031 --> 00:08:09,907
- Cool and chill.
- Alright, now let's do me.
185
00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:12,661
I am tall and curious.
186
00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:28,384
I don't get it.
187
00:08:28,385 --> 00:08:31,805
You two were so into each other
like a day ago. What happened?
188
00:08:33,223 --> 00:08:34,598
You're great with
secrets, right?
189
00:08:34,599 --> 00:08:36,977
No. I'm great with sequins.
190
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:43,274
- Wow, that looks just like you.
- I know!
191
00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:44,775
It only took me 12
Saturday nights to make.
192
00:08:44,776 --> 00:08:46,528
- Only 12.
- Mm-hmm.
193
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:48,279
Okay, now dish, fish.
194
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,614
Alright, but look, let's
just keep this between us, okay?
195
00:08:50,615 --> 00:08:52,658
I don't wanna add any drama
to Sid and Hannah's big night.
196
00:08:52,659 --> 00:08:55,160
- Don't worry. Hey,
I'm your sister.
197
00:08:55,161 --> 00:08:56,704
- I'll keep your secret.
- Okay.
198
00:08:56,705 --> 00:08:58,956
- And I know my way around a sister secret.
- Great.
199
00:08:58,957 --> 00:09:01,250
Okay, uh, well,
anyway, last night,
200
00:09:01,251 --> 00:09:03,586
I accidentally told Sophie
that I loved her in my sleep.
201
00:09:03,587 --> 00:09:04,546
- What?
- Then she freaked out
202
00:09:04,547 --> 00:09:06,297
and told me that I should
go on tour with Meredith.
203
00:09:06,298 --> 00:09:07,756
- What?!
- So then, I got really upset
204
00:09:07,757 --> 00:09:09,383
and told her to leave,
and then I called Meredith
205
00:09:09,384 --> 00:09:10,718
- and invited her over.
- What?!
206
00:09:10,719 --> 00:09:13,137
- I know. So she showed up, and
all of a sudden, we're making out,
207
00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:15,514
and I guess I kind of agreed
to go on tour with her.
208
00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:16,850
What?
209
00:09:17,809 --> 00:09:20,144
I'm sorry. I couldn't
go any higher, so I went low.
210
00:09:20,145 --> 00:09:21,437
The whole thing is
really confusing.
211
00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:22,730
I mean, I was so into Sophie...
212
00:09:22,731 --> 00:09:24,524
- Oh, who cares about
your stupid love life?
213
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:27,234
You're leaving me to go on tour?
214
00:09:27,235 --> 00:09:28,360
Wait, what?
215
00:09:28,361 --> 00:09:31,196
- I moved across the country
to reconnect with you!
216
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:34,743
And now, you're abandoning me to
go on tour with your ex-girlfriend?
217
00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:37,494
That is
not gonna trigger
218
00:09:37,495 --> 00:09:39,622
my adopted person
abandonment issues at all!
219
00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:40,999
- Ellen, come on...
- Shh!
220
00:09:47,214 --> 00:09:48,672
Wow.
221
00:09:48,673 --> 00:09:50,133
She really has a gift.
222
00:09:51,593 --> 00:09:53,887
I've got an order for Sad?
223
00:09:54,429 --> 00:09:57,182
- It-it's Sid. Thank
you. Thank you for that.
224
00:09:58,016 --> 00:09:59,099
- Hannah?
- Hm?
225
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,935
- What wedding would be
complete without a cake?
226
00:10:00,936 --> 00:10:03,270
Okay, now,
options were limited,
227
00:10:03,271 --> 00:10:05,523
but I did find a deli
that has your favorite...
228
00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:08,944
What the hell is this?
229
00:10:09,402 --> 00:10:12,738
- It's gefilte fish. My
mom serves it on Passover.
230
00:10:12,739 --> 00:10:15,075
It's a traditional
Jewish ground fish loaf.
231
00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:18,035
- Hannah, this was supposed
to be red velvet cake!
232
00:10:18,036 --> 00:10:19,537
Not this... nightmare fish!
233
00:10:21,498 --> 00:10:24,084
- How do we have no
pictures of Hannah and Sid?
234
00:10:25,418 --> 00:10:27,044
- I have a strict no
earnest smiling policy.
235
00:10:27,045 --> 00:10:28,505
Those two have a disease.
236
00:10:31,258 --> 00:10:32,258
I'm proud of us.
237
00:10:32,884 --> 00:10:34,510
For how well we're
handling this breakup
238
00:10:34,511 --> 00:10:37,138
and transitioning
into being bros.
239
00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:39,932
Yeah, me, too.
240
00:10:39,933 --> 00:10:41,850
I think we're being very mature.
241
00:10:41,851 --> 00:10:45,397
- Just... two mature bros.
- Mm-hmm.
242
00:10:46,106 --> 00:10:48,191
Like Ian McKellen
and Patrick Stewart.
243
00:10:53,446 --> 00:10:55,031
I like being your friend.
244
00:10:56,283 --> 00:10:57,843
I think you're easy
to be friends with.
245
00:11:00,579 --> 00:11:01,955
You, too.
246
00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:10,964
And you also.
247
00:11:17,512 --> 00:11:18,512
Yep.
248
00:11:25,437 --> 00:11:26,979
Hey.
249
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:28,856
Why does your friend
from your photo keep...
250
00:11:28,857 --> 00:11:30,317
staring at us like that?
251
00:11:31,610 --> 00:11:35,363
He looks like an anglerfish
who just saw a crab.
252
00:11:36,031 --> 00:11:37,032
A what?
253
00:11:37,657 --> 00:11:39,950
- Man, that line would've
killed back on the boat.
254
00:11:39,951 --> 00:11:42,746
But no, seriously,
what is his deal?
255
00:11:44,789 --> 00:11:46,457
Well,
256
00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:48,334
ever since I took
that photo of him,
257
00:11:48,335 --> 00:11:49,793
he's been trying to be a model
258
00:11:49,794 --> 00:11:51,796
and flaunting his
looks harder than a...
259
00:11:52,964 --> 00:11:53,964
angelfish?
260
00:11:56,051 --> 00:11:58,511
That's hilarious!
That's hilarious.
261
00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:00,596
Speaking of models,
262
00:12:00,597 --> 00:12:02,973
I'm actually supposed to be
taking pictures of this shindig.
263
00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:04,684
- You wanna grab us another round?
- Sure.
264
00:12:09,731 --> 00:12:12,733
Hey, everyone! Say "Sid and Hannah!"
265
00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:14,443
Yeah.
266
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:16,987
Stop staring at my date.
267
00:12:16,988 --> 00:12:18,198
You're weirding out Ian.
268
00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:19,990
Sorry, I'm just confused.
269
00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:22,618
- I mean, he really came out of nowhere.
- Oh.
270
00:12:22,619 --> 00:12:24,161
Is that confusing to you?
271
00:12:24,162 --> 00:12:27,248
Is the concept of a romantic
interest from the past
272
00:12:27,249 --> 00:12:29,041
suddenly reappearing into
someone's life confusing to you?
273
00:12:29,042 --> 00:12:32,419
- W-what's that supposed to mean?
Did Ellen say something to you?
274
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,338
- You know what? I can't
do this right now, Jesse.
275
00:12:34,339 --> 00:12:36,173
Just stop staring at my date.
276
00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:38,342
I'm not gonna let
you ruin this for me.
277
00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:40,595
- There she is! The
woman who broke my heart.
278
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,055
Good to see you, Soph.
279
00:12:43,056 --> 00:12:45,224
I'm gonna
let him ruin it for me.
280
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:51,356
Drew!
281
00:12:52,357 --> 00:12:53,732
What are you doing here?
282
00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:55,359
- Hannah invited me. You
look great, by the way.
283
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,777
I love your shirt made of pogs.
284
00:12:56,778 --> 00:12:59,906
Are those pogs? Whatever they
are, I love them to death.
285
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:02,324
Are you okay?
286
00:13:02,325 --> 00:13:04,118
- Why wouldn't I be okay?
Because you dumped me?
287
00:13:04,119 --> 00:13:06,745
Or because my dad's probably
going to prison till I'm 50?
288
00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:09,081
Or because I got buzzed alone
on oat milk White Russians
289
00:13:09,082 --> 00:13:10,041
in my apartment earlier today,
290
00:13:10,042 --> 00:13:12,042
and then just wandered
aimlessly around Midtown
291
00:13:12,043 --> 00:13:13,669
until I saw a day
spa advertising
292
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:15,796
a "Glow-up Teeth Whitening
and Spray Tan Special"
293
00:13:15,797 --> 00:13:18,007
for $49.99 called The
Orange Creamsicle,
294
00:13:18,008 --> 00:13:20,302
and said to myself,
"I deserve that."
295
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,888
Did you get a spray tan?
296
00:13:23,889 --> 00:13:26,308
- It's so natural, I hadn't noticed...
- Ah!
297
00:13:26,808 --> 00:13:28,976
Sorry. Sorry, once in a while,
298
00:13:28,977 --> 00:13:31,353
I-I get these shooting pains
from my two front teeth.
299
00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:33,188
They say it happens to one
in 100 people who go to
300
00:13:33,189 --> 00:13:34,857
New York Upstairs
Whiten and Tan.
301
00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:36,609
Guess I'm one of the lucky ones.
302
00:13:36,610 --> 00:13:38,235
- I think I've got an Advil for you...
- N-no.
303
00:13:38,236 --> 00:13:40,571
It's all good. The receptionist
gave me a couple codeines
304
00:13:40,572 --> 00:13:42,365
in exchange for a kiss.
305
00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:47,077
- Hey. I'm Ian.
- What's up?
306
00:13:47,078 --> 00:13:50,123
I'm Drew. This is my
ex, Sophie.
307
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,585
Don't waste
this fun energy on us, Drew!
308
00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:56,879
- Go congratulate the happy couple!
- Eh, good point.
309
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,883
Hey, if you need me, just,
uh, follow the light.
310
00:14:00,717 --> 00:14:03,136
Ooh, do I smell gefilte fish?
311
00:14:05,263 --> 00:14:07,348
Hey. Look, I know
you're mad at me
312
00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:09,350
or whatever, but it
was really screwed up
313
00:14:09,351 --> 00:14:11,477
that you went and told
Sophie our sister secret.
314
00:14:11,478 --> 00:14:13,687
Also, why are we calling it that?
We're not sisters. I'm a boy.
315
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:16,233
I mean man!
Damn it, I'm a man!
316
00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:18,526
I didn't tell Sophie.
317
00:14:19,152 --> 00:14:20,653
- You didn't?
- No!
318
00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:22,571
But I always love an
exasperated white guy
319
00:14:22,572 --> 00:14:24,532
screaming at me that he's a man!
320
00:14:26,076 --> 00:14:28,078
So thank you for that.
321
00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:36,043
How did she even make that?
322
00:14:36,044 --> 00:14:37,503
So,
323
00:14:37,504 --> 00:14:40,297
when exactly did you
and Drew end things?
324
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:42,216
Because it seems kind of fresh.
325
00:14:42,217 --> 00:14:43,717
And
that's when it happened.
326
00:14:43,718 --> 00:14:46,136
♪ Wild West music playing ♪
327
00:14:46,137 --> 00:14:48,097
Both of them were
hurtling towards me
328
00:14:48,098 --> 00:14:49,974
at the exact same time.
329
00:14:49,975 --> 00:14:52,851
Like emotional man asteroids,
330
00:14:52,852 --> 00:14:55,020
determined to blow up my spot.
331
00:14:55,021 --> 00:14:59,024
So I did the only thing I could think
of to keep them from talking to me.
332
00:14:59,025 --> 00:15:01,402
Uh, I think it's time for...
333
00:15:01,403 --> 00:15:03,405
Sid and Hannah's first dance!
334
00:15:04,614 --> 00:15:08,200
If everyone could silently stay
exactly where you are right now,
335
00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:11,371
and we're gonna watch
them dance! In silence!
336
00:15:13,039 --> 00:15:14,331
Ellen! Hit it!
337
00:15:14,332 --> 00:15:16,500
Oh, my Bluetooth won't connect.
338
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,003
Doesn't matter.
339
00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,255
'Cause I'm gonna sing it live.
340
00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:24,301
Sid, Hannah, what's your song?
341
00:15:25,427 --> 00:15:26,344
When a Man Loves a Woman.
342
00:15:26,345 --> 00:15:28,513
Oh! Wow. Great.
343
00:15:30,098 --> 00:15:33,143
I'll totally sing that song
that I... that I know. Okay.
344
00:15:36,897 --> 00:15:41,693
♪ When a man loves a woman ♪
345
00:15:42,736 --> 00:15:43,820
Oh God...
346
00:15:46,114 --> 00:15:50,827
♪ He makes love to that woman ♪
347
00:15:51,703 --> 00:15:52,996
♪ But only if she wants to ♪
348
00:15:54,164 --> 00:15:56,415
♪ But who wouldn't want to? ♪
349
00:15:56,416 --> 00:15:59,668
♪ I mean, look at that guy ♪
350
00:16:00,921 --> 00:16:02,880
- What is happening?
- I don't know.
351
00:16:02,881 --> 00:16:05,174
♪ When a man loves ♪
352
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:07,593
♪ A woman ♪
353
00:16:07,594 --> 00:16:11,264
♪ Can't keep his mind
on nothing else ♪
354
00:16:12,015 --> 00:16:13,974
♪ He'd trade the world ♪
355
00:16:13,975 --> 00:16:15,517
♪ For the good
thing he's found ♪
356
00:16:15,518 --> 00:16:18,103
Take it away, Drew!
357
00:16:18,104 --> 00:16:20,648
♪ If she's bad he
won't see it... ♪
358
00:16:20,649 --> 00:16:22,483
Ow! Oh!
359
00:16:22,484 --> 00:16:25,361
Shooting pain. There's
a shooting pain.
360
00:16:25,362 --> 00:16:27,989
- Okay! I am shutting
this down! Thank you.
361
00:16:31,326 --> 00:16:33,661
- Hey, Sophie, I really need to talk to you.
- No! I am on my way out.
362
00:16:33,662 --> 00:16:35,496
- I just need to grab Ian...
- Hey, quick Q. Was I supposed
363
00:16:35,497 --> 00:16:37,873
to shower off with this spray tan?
'Cause I think I'm still developing...
364
00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:40,251
- What did you mean when you said
that thing about romantic interests
365
00:16:40,252 --> 00:16:42,086
- reappearing from the past?
- I didn't mean anything.
366
00:16:42,087 --> 00:16:43,087
Yes, you did.
367
00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:45,422
- Oh, my skin smells like poison.
Here, Sophie, smell my arm.
368
00:16:45,423 --> 00:16:47,550
- No! Oh, you guys,
just excuse me...
369
00:16:47,551 --> 00:16:49,093
- Will you please just
tell me what you meant?!
370
00:16:49,094 --> 00:16:52,305
- I saw you kissing Meredith
outside of your apartment!
371
00:16:54,391 --> 00:16:55,850
You kissed Meredith?
372
00:16:59,688 --> 00:17:01,605
What... How did you see that?
373
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,108
'Cause I came back.
374
00:17:05,026 --> 00:17:06,695
I was coming back to...
375
00:17:08,071 --> 00:17:09,072
Oh.
376
00:17:10,532 --> 00:17:11,825
Yeah.
377
00:17:13,368 --> 00:17:14,577
One more Q.
378
00:17:14,578 --> 00:17:16,370
Um...
379
00:17:16,371 --> 00:17:20,333
Did you and Jesse get together in
the 24 hours since you dumped me?
380
00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:22,711
Yes.
381
00:17:23,545 --> 00:17:25,046
Drew, yes. I'm...
382
00:17:25,964 --> 00:17:27,591
I'm so sorry.
383
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,676
- I think if I wasn't on
all these painkillers,
384
00:17:30,677 --> 00:17:33,096
I just might be a skosh upset.
385
00:17:34,306 --> 00:17:36,849
- Hey. Is everything alright?
- No.
386
00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:39,185
Ian, it's actually not.
387
00:17:41,229 --> 00:17:43,063
I gotta get some air.
388
00:17:43,064 --> 00:17:45,065
And yes, Drew, you were
supposed to shower it off,
389
00:17:45,066 --> 00:17:47,068
and don't kiss
people for codeine!
390
00:17:49,821 --> 00:17:51,614
Someone's jealous.
391
00:18:03,501 --> 00:18:05,503
♪ Ooh, you went searching ♪
392
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:11,384
- Hey.
- Hey.
393
00:18:14,179 --> 00:18:16,305
- Sophie, it sounds like
things have been messy for you
394
00:18:16,306 --> 00:18:17,807
while I've been gone.
395
00:18:18,642 --> 00:18:19,643
Yeah.
396
00:18:21,228 --> 00:18:23,230
- About that...
- It doesn't matter.
397
00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:26,565
Things have been
messy for me, too.
398
00:18:26,566 --> 00:18:29,235
A whale exploded on me.
399
00:18:30,612 --> 00:18:32,571
What matters is
we're both here now,
400
00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:35,075
and I still wanna
give it a shot.
401
00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:37,035
You do?
402
00:18:38,495 --> 00:18:39,495
I do.
403
00:18:39,496 --> 00:18:41,330
♪ It can't be that bad ♪
404
00:18:41,331 --> 00:18:43,958
- You're really going
on tour with Meredith?
405
00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:45,210
I think so, yeah.
406
00:18:46,294 --> 00:18:49,004
Sid, I was ready to spend
the rest of my life with her.
407
00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:51,507
Those feelings didn't go away just
'cause she said no to my proposal.
408
00:18:51,508 --> 00:18:53,051
Okay, what about Sophie?
409
00:18:53,635 --> 00:18:57,054
Sophie's amazing,
but she's also complicated.
410
00:18:57,055 --> 00:18:59,224
The moment we got together,
she blew it all up.
411
00:18:59,891 --> 00:19:01,893
All I've ever wanted...
412
00:19:02,769 --> 00:19:04,271
was to find love.
413
00:19:05,855 --> 00:19:08,191
And I think, maybe...
414
00:19:08,692 --> 00:19:10,986
it was just right
in front of me,
415
00:19:12,028 --> 00:19:13,362
and I ran from it.
416
00:19:14,656 --> 00:19:17,951
And until I figure
out why I did that...
417
00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:22,914
I'm just gonna keep ruining
things that could be great.
418
00:19:23,707 --> 00:19:25,709
- Wait, so you were in love
with one of those guys?
419
00:19:26,459 --> 00:19:27,460
The orange guy?
420
00:19:28,295 --> 00:19:29,546
No.
421
00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:31,130
The angelfish.
422
00:19:31,923 --> 00:19:35,260
- Or maybe she's not that complicated.
She probably just wasn't that into me.
423
00:19:37,053 --> 00:19:39,013
Okay, so it's not a good time.
424
00:19:39,014 --> 00:19:41,391
But as a wise woman
once said to me,
425
00:19:42,017 --> 00:19:43,475
maybe someday.
426
00:19:43,476 --> 00:19:46,770
♪ I'm not the kind of
girl you take home ♪
427
00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:48,189
Good night, Sophie.
428
00:19:49,149 --> 00:19:50,774
Good night, Ian.
429
00:19:50,775 --> 00:19:52,193
♪ If it makes you happy ♪
430
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:56,323
♪ It can't be that bad ♪
431
00:19:57,490 --> 00:20:00,452
♪ If it makes you happy ♪
432
00:20:02,203 --> 00:20:05,749
♪ Then why the hell
are you so sad? ♪
433
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,834
- Alright, if you really wanna
see where things go with Meredith,
434
00:20:08,835 --> 00:20:11,003
- I'll get my head around it.
- Thank you.
435
00:20:11,004 --> 00:20:12,922
Am I supposed to find a
subletter during your tour...
436
00:20:12,923 --> 00:20:14,340
- No, no, no, no, no.
It's just for a month.
437
00:20:14,341 --> 00:20:16,342
Wait. You're only
leaving for a month?
438
00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:18,886
- Yeah.
- I thought it was like a year!
439
00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:20,471
Oh, my God...
440
00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:23,057
You must have thought I
was being so dramatic!
441
00:20:23,058 --> 00:20:27,020
I can't believe you're
abandoning me for a whole month! No!
442
00:20:29,272 --> 00:20:31,899
Who's ready for a photo tribute
443
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,235
to Sid and Hannah's love!
444
00:20:39,449 --> 00:20:42,201
♪ It's a wonderful world... ♪
445
00:20:42,202 --> 00:20:44,328
Oh, wow. This is actually good.
446
00:20:44,329 --> 00:20:47,832
- Yes. This is gonna be a
good memory from our wedding.
447
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:52,504
Uh, what is this?
448
00:20:55,048 --> 00:20:57,007
This appears to be a sex tape
449
00:20:57,008 --> 00:20:58,717
made in your office
earlier tonight
450
00:20:58,718 --> 00:21:02,012
that they must have accidentally
edited it into our montage.
451
00:21:02,013 --> 00:21:05,474
Or... did we edit
it in on purpose
452
00:21:05,475 --> 00:21:08,018
as a special gift to spice
up your wedding night?
453
00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:10,437
- Charlie, no!
- Yeah, no, it was actually a mistake.
454
00:21:10,438 --> 00:21:13,232
- Turn it off! Turn it off!
- Oh, my God, is that my favorite jacket?
455
00:21:13,233 --> 00:21:14,858
That is so my favorite jacket.
You guys are ruining my life!
456
00:21:14,859 --> 00:21:16,861
- Turn it off!
- I'm trying...
457
00:21:20,782 --> 00:21:23,701
- So, wait, are you two
back together again?
458
00:21:23,702 --> 00:21:25,744
No. That was just a last hurrah
459
00:21:25,745 --> 00:21:28,706
that we decided to commit
to video as a memento.
460
00:21:28,707 --> 00:21:31,750
But, starting now,
we are officially...
461
00:21:31,751 --> 00:21:34,545
strictly platonic friends.
462
00:21:34,546 --> 00:21:36,548
- Hug it out?
- Keep that thing away from me.
463
00:21:41,136 --> 00:21:43,679
- Hey... Where you been?
- Hey.
464
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,932
Watching Ian walk
out of my life again.
465
00:21:46,933 --> 00:21:49,602
Yeah. Guess I'm gonna be
waiting a little longer
466
00:21:49,603 --> 00:21:51,145
to find what you guys have.
467
00:21:51,146 --> 00:21:52,897
Well, I hope you find a guy
468
00:21:52,898 --> 00:21:55,274
who can throw you a better
wedding party than I just did.
469
00:21:55,275 --> 00:21:58,527
Wait. Are you acting
so crazy tonight
470
00:21:58,528 --> 00:22:00,238
because you're worried about me?
471
00:22:01,031 --> 00:22:04,658
- Yeah. Hannah, I wanted you to
have the greatest night ever.
472
00:22:04,659 --> 00:22:07,077
You know, it was my first
duty as your husband,
473
00:22:07,078 --> 00:22:09,080
and I tanked it.
474
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:13,834
Okay, that's it. Everybody up!
475
00:22:13,835 --> 00:22:15,086
Why?
476
00:22:15,670 --> 00:22:17,171
Everybody line up!
477
00:22:17,172 --> 00:22:20,841
- Oh, my God! Is this happening?
- Oh... I think it is.
478
00:22:20,842 --> 00:22:22,760
Yeah! We're sliding!
479
00:22:22,761 --> 00:22:25,679
Let's give these two nerds
a wedding night to remember!
480
00:22:35,232 --> 00:22:38,193
Hey. I'm sorry about everything.
481
00:22:39,277 --> 00:22:41,279
Yeah. Me, too.
482
00:22:41,947 --> 00:22:43,906
♪ You can't see it ♪
483
00:22:43,907 --> 00:22:47,034
Well, I blew it with
three guys in 48 hours,
484
00:22:47,035 --> 00:22:49,536
and now I'm doing
the Electric Slide.
485
00:22:49,537 --> 00:22:51,163
I think this is my rock bottom.
486
00:22:51,164 --> 00:22:52,957
I was wrong.
487
00:22:52,958 --> 00:22:55,668
Rock bottom wouldn't come
until later that year.
488
00:22:55,669 --> 00:22:57,378
Mom, please call me back!
489
00:22:57,379 --> 00:22:59,130
I think I'm dating my dad.
490
00:23:00,215 --> 00:23:01,633
Oh!
491
00:23:03,301 --> 00:23:05,971
Oh, no! No, no, no!
492
00:23:06,972 --> 00:23:08,348
Oh God...
493
00:23:17,190 --> 00:23:18,525
Dude...
494
00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:22,736
Wait, who's that?
495
00:23:22,737 --> 00:23:24,114
We'll get there soon enough.
496
00:23:25,407 --> 00:23:27,575
- If this is rock bottom,
it looks good on you
497
00:23:27,576 --> 00:23:30,452
- 'cause my girl can slide.
- Woo!
498
00:23:30,453 --> 00:23:33,330
♪ I'll teach you
the electric slide ♪
499
00:23:33,331 --> 00:23:34,749
Woo!
500
00:23:42,090 --> 00:23:44,258
♪ It's electric,
boogie-woogie-woogie ♪
501
00:23:44,259 --> 00:23:46,302
♪ You can't do without it ♪
502
00:23:46,303 --> 00:23:48,721
♪ It's electric,
boogie-woogie-woogie ♪
503
00:23:52,017 --> 00:23:53,475
♪ She sure got the boogie ♪
504
00:23:53,476 --> 00:23:55,436
♪ Don't wanna lose it ♪
505
00:23:55,437 --> 00:23:57,605
♪ It's electric,
boogie-woogie-woogie ♪
506
00:23:57,606 --> 00:23:59,773
♪ But you can't choose it ♪
507
00:23:59,774 --> 00:24:02,026
♪ It's electric,
boogie-woogie-woogie ♪
508
00:24:02,027 --> 00:24:04,529
♪ But you know it's there ♪
509
00:24:05,572 --> 00:24:09,408
♪ Here, there, and everywhere ♪
38344
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