Original subtitles

WELL, I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR REPRESENTING ME

IN THIS CASE.

NO PROBLEM, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE YOU AT ALL.

WHICH ISN'T GOING TO MAKE THE DIVORCE

THAT I'M GETTING FROM YOU, THAT YOU'RE REPRESENTING ME ON,

ANY EASIER.

WHICH REMINDS ME, AS YOUR LAWYER,

I HAVE TO ADVISE YOU NOT TO HAVE ME REPRESENT YOU

SINCE I'M THE ONE YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO COURT AGAINST.

I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT, FATE IS A CRUEL SNAKE

WITH BITTER HERBS AND SPICES.

YES.

UM, I OVERHEARD THAT SHE'S SINGLE,

AND I JUST WANTED TO LET HER KNOW THAT I'M RICH.

REALLY, YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE?

NO, I'M RICHARD.

OH.

DOES MAMA LIKE WHAT SHE SEES?

YES, I DO BELIEVE SHE DOES.

OKAY, THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE.

STEP INTO MY OFFICE.

TAKE THAT.

OKAY, BUT YOU MUST TAKE THIS.

ALRIGHT, BUT ONLY IN EXCHANGE FOR TWO OF THESES.

I'LL TAKE THOSE, AND RAISE YOU THIS,

YOU DON'T HAVE CHANGE FOR THREE OF THESE, DO YOU?

NO, I DON'T, BUT DOES MY BUTT LOOK BIG IN THESE?

NOT AS BIG AS IT WILL LOOK AFTER THAT.

OH, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO COMPLETE THE FIGHT

WITHOUT WEAPONS.

YOU MEAN A BATTLE OF WITS?

CLOSE, WE FIGHT WITH JAZZ.

BRING IT ON, DADDY O.

OH, THIS IS HORRIBLE.

I THINK IT'S ALTERNATIVE.

YEAH, IT'S AN ALTERNATIVE TO GOOD.

THIS KIND OF MOVIE IS A CAREER KILLER, BRENDON.

HEY, YOU'LL GET NO ARGUMENT FROM ME,

I THINK IT'S CRAP—A—ROO.

OKAY, FINE, I AGREE, IT'S THE WORST FILM EVER.

HOW DO WE FIX IT?

BURN IT.

NO, NO, NO.

UM, I DON'T KNOW, OUR MOVIES HAVE HIT A BRICK WALL.

YEAH. YEAH.

MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A BREAK AND LIVE A LITTLE.

LET SOME THINGS HAPPEN TO EACH OTHER AND THEN REGROUP.

YOU GUYS AGREE?

YEAH. YEAH.

ALRIGHT, FINE, SO WE'LL TAKE A HIATUS.

NO, NO, NO, NO,

LET'S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES.

WAIT, WHAT'S A HIATUS?

UM, IT'S BASICALLY WHAT YOU DESCRIBED.

OH, WELL THEN YES, THEN WE'LL TAKE A HIATUS.

CAN'T WE STILL BURN IT?

ALRIGHT CLASS, JUST SAY HERE WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME,

ADELBERG, KEN ADELBERG?

NO? OKAY.

UH, BEAUMONT, MR. OR MS. BEAUMONT?

Paula: BEAUMONT?

NO.

ALL RIGHT, UH, HENDERSON?

NO.

ALRIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M JUST GOING TO SAVE SOME TIME, UH,

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SIR?

BOWER.

BOWER, UH, YOU'RE NOT ON MY LIST,

ARE YOU IN THIS CLASS?

WHAT CLASS IS THIS?

Paula: CREATIVE WRITING.

I'M IN THE WRONG ROOM, UH, I GUESS I'LL GO.

NO, DON'T LEAVE, STAY, JUST STAY, DON'T MOVE, ALRIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES? WAIT, DON'T TELL ME,

I DON'T WANT TO FIND OUT THAT YOU'RE NOT IN MY CLASS EITHER,

FORGET ROLL CALL.

OKAY, ANYTHING ELSE?

OKAY, LET'S TAKE A BREAK.

YOU KNOW WE GOT, UH, A FOUR DAY VACATION COMING UP.

YES, McGUIRK, I'M, I'M AWARE OF THAT,

I HAVE A SCHOOL CALENDAR TOO.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR TIME OFF?

HMM, WELL, I HAVEN'T REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT,

PROBABLY CORRECT TESTS,

Lynch: PROBABLY DO A LITTLE READING.

MY GOD, YOU'RE BORING.

YOU KNOW I ASKED MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION,

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, YOU KNOW, WITH MY VACATION TIME,

AND THEN I SAW THIS.

CANCUN, MY FRIEND, I'M GOING TO CANCUN.

ME—HICO, HMM, INTERESTING.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Lynch: I SAID, "INTERESTING."

McGuirk: NO, BEFORE THAT. HMM.

BEFORE "HMM." ME—HICO.

RIGHT, IT'S MEXICO.

I THOUGHT I WAS AN IDIOT.

NO, THEY LIKE TO PRONOUNCE IT ME—HICO.

WHO LIKES TO PRONOUNCE IT ME—HICO?

Lynch: THE ME—HICANS.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, LYNCH,

I'M GOING TO MEXICO. MM—HMM.

I'M NOT GOING TO ME—HICO. RIGHT.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

FINE, YOU PRONOUNCE HOWEVER YOU WISH,

BUT IT IS ME—HICO. HMM.

SO YOU INTERESTED IN GOING WITH ME OR?

HUH. NO. HUH.

WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU AND I MIGHT NOT BE COMPATIBLE

TRAVEL COMPANIONS.

SO, WHO CARES?

LYNCH, HERE'S THE DEAL: THERE'S A DISCOUNTED GROUP RATE,

AND WE'D BE CRAZY NOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT.

I DON'T KNOW, McGUIRK, I CAN'T ANSWER RIGHT NOW,

HOW'S THAT?

LOOK, THINK ABOUT IT, READ THE PAMPHLET.

I WOULDN'T WAIT TOO LONG THOUGH, AMIGO.

THAT'S SPANISH. MM—HMM.

NOT THE WHOLE SENTENCE, JUST THE AMIGO. RIGHT.

SO, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING SO FAR DURING THE HIATUS?

UMM, I DID SOME MOPING IN THE LIVING ROOM.

Melissa: MM—HMM.

AND THEN I GOT BORED OF THAT, SO I MOPED IN THE KITCHEN.

DID YOU EVER TRY MOPING IN THE GUEST BEDROOM?

NO, UMM, HOW IS IT?

GREAT PLACE TO MOPE.

I GOT TO TRY THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW?

I DON'T KNOW, UMM, I WAS THINKING ABOUT LURKING.

I WAS THINKING ABOUT LURKING TOMORROW.

WE CAN'T SIT AROUND MOPING ALL DAY.

NO.

OH WAIT, HOLD ON, I GOT CALL WAITING. 'KAY.

SHUT UP! HOLD ON! BRENDON?

YEAH. DWAYNE.

UH, HEY, I NEED YOU TO TAPE US REHEARSING

SO WE COULD WORK ON SOME DANCE MOVES.

UMM... SHUT UP, GUYS!

WELL, YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I CAN HELP RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE I'M BUSY WITH MY HIATUS.

OH SHUCKS. UMM, WHAT'S HIATUS?

IT'S COMPLICATED, DWAYNE, BUT YOU KNOW, I GOT MELISSA

ON THE OTHER LINE SO, UH—-

OKAY, DON'T HANG UP.

HEY. HI, WHO WAS THAT?

UH, DWAYNE, HE WANTS ME TO DO A THING, BUT I SAID NO.

WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?

HOW WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO.

OH, RIGHT.

HELLO? ADELBERG?

YEAH. KEN ADELBERG?

SPEAKING.

UH, HI, IT'S PAULA SMALL, YOUR CREATIVE WRITING TEACHER.

OH, HELLO. Paula: YEAH.

HOW YOU GET MY NUMBER?

UH, IT'S ON THE SIGN UP SHEET HERE.

Ken: OH, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

YEAH, I WAS JUST CALLING TO SEE IF YOU

WERE EVER GOING TO, YOU KNOW, SHOW UP TO CLASS AGAIN?

OH, I'M SORRY, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, BUT NO,

I'M FINISHED WITH CLASS, I DON'T TAKE THAT CLASS NO MORE.

YEAH, REALLY, WELL, WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME,

OR WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO, YOU KNOW——

I'M SORRY, PAULA, I HAVE TO CUT YOU OFF,

MY WIFE IS GIVING ME THE WRAP UP SIGNAL ON THE PHONE.

QUITTING MY CLASS IS NOT

GOING TO MAKE YOU A BETTER WRITER.

WELL.

YEAH, MAYBE IT WILL, BUT NOBODY LIKES A QUITTER,

AND THAT'S FACT.

WELL, PAULA, I'D LOVE TO SIT AND CHAT ALL DAY.

BUT YOU KNOW, KEN, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET A REFUND EITHER,

SO THAT'S JUST MONEY WASTED, DOWN THE TOILET.

THAT'S ACTUALLY FUNNY YOU MENTIONED THAT, PAULA,

BECAUSE I GOT A REFUND.

REALLY?

YEAH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BRENDON?

I'M BEING CREATIVE.

BRENDON, THAT'S NOT A COLORING BOOK.

Brendon: IT ISN'T?

Paula: NO, THERE'S NO SHAPES, IT'S JUST WORDS.

I'M COLORING THE WORDS.

IS THAT ONE OF MY BOOKS, BRENDON?

UH, I THINK IT MIGHT BE.

WHICH OF MY BOOKS ARE YOU COLORING THE WORDS IN?

IT'S CALLED "DISCIPLINING YOUR CHILDREN."

MM—HMM.

OH, MOM, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS CALLED

AND UH... REALLY?

I DID NOT WRITE DOWN HIS NAME, BUT HE SAID,

UMM, THANK YOU FOR TEACHING HIM, AND UH...

HE WANTS THE HOME WORK?

HE WISHES YOU LUCK IN THE FUTURE,

AND HE WILL PROBABLY NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.

WHEN DID HE CALL?

UMM, AN HOUR, TWO HOURS.

UH—HUH, DID YOU LOOK FOR ME?

I DID LOOK FOR YOU, BUT I COULD NOT FIND YOU.

I WAS HERE, BRENDON.

BUT I LOOKED.

DID YOU LOOK IN THE KITCHEN?

NO.

WELL, WHERE DID YOU LOOK?

I LOOKED EVERYWHERE BUT THE KITCHEN.

EVERYWHERE BUT THE KITCHEN?

WHY DIDN'T I THINK THE KITCHEN?

OKAY, BRENDON, YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS VERY, VERY IMPORTANT:

THE NEXT TIME A STUDENT CALLS. MM—HMM.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS YOU NEED TO COME AND FIND ME.

OKAY.

PERHAPS, MAYBE, CRAZILY, IN THE KITCHEN.

RIGHT.

WHERE I USUALLY SPEND MY TIME.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T LOOK THERE.

YEAH, MM—HMM. THAT'S SO WEIRD.

PROBABLY TOO BUSY. YEAH.

BRENDON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE SCISSORS?

OH, I GUESS I'M MAKING MY PANTS INTO CUT—OFFS.

SHORTS?

YEAH, OR LIKE DAISY DUKES.

OKAY, YOU NOW WHAT, WE NEED TO FIND SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO.

OH. YOU KNOW, TO BUSY YOUR LITTLE HANDS.

RIGHT. RIGHT?

WHAT'LL WE DO? UMM.

ICE CREAM.

YOU KNOW WHAT, BRENDON, I THINK YOU NEED TO GET OUTSIDE.

OKAY.

OUT OF THE HOUSE. ALRIGHT.

SHOO. I'M LEAVING.

OKAY. ALRIGHT.

♪ WELL, I FOUND FIVE BUCKS SO I BOUGHT SOME FANCY SHOES ♪

♪ GONNA PUT 'EM ON MY FEET, PUT 'EM TO SOME GOOD USE ♪

♪ WELL, I'M 15 YEARS OLD AND I DON'T LIKE BEING TOLD ♪

♪ WHAT TO DO ♪

♪ I GOT TWO LEGS, THEY'RE CRAZY LEGS ♪

♪ THEY'RE VERY HAIRY LEGS AND THEY'RE CRAZY LEGS ♪

Cynthia: OKAY, STOP.

DWAYNE, WATCH THE OTHERS,

BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING THAT I THINK YOU'RE MAKING UP

ON THE SPOT, AM I RIGHT?

Dwayne: I DON'T KNOW.

OKAY, DID YOU STRETCH?

Dwayne: NOPE.

WELL, LET'S STRETCH THEN.

Dwayne: I AM.

THAT'S NOT STRETCHING.

UM, I AM.

NO, THAT'S NOT STRETCHING.

WHAT, IS THIS STRETCHING?

NO, THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURTS.

HEY, I'M STRETCHING, HEY.

YOU DON'T NEED TO STRETCH.

Brendon: HI.

HI. HI.

SO, THEY'RE SLOW, BUT THEY'LL GET IT, I MEAN,

THEY'RE, YOU KNOW—...

I'M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY?

OH NO, UMM, I WAS JUST—— I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU

AROUND HERE BEFORE.

YEAH, THEY NEEDED A CHOREOGRAPHER, SO I OFFERED.

IT'S SO COOL, 'CAUSE YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY DOING REAL DANCING,

IT'S NOT LIKE, 'CAUSE MOST GIRLS OUR AGE, YOU KNOW, ARE LIKE,

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE ALL STUPID BALLERINAS AND STUFF, SO.

HMM, WELL, I TAKE BALLET.

THAT, BUT THAT DIDN'T MEAN LIKE STUPID LIKE DUMB,

I MEANT IT LIKE, YOU KNOW, IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT'S—...

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?

UM, OH, YOU KNOW, TECHNICALLY, I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE

BECAUSE I'M ON HIATUS, 'CAUSE I'M A FILMMAKER.

OH, THAT'S COOL.

YEAH, UMM, I'M BRENDON, HI.

HI, WELL, I GOT TO GET GOING, MY MOM'S PICKING ME UP.

OKAY, AWESOME.

DID YOU JUST SAY AWESOME?

HMM?

NO, UH, NO I DIDN'T, NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

WELL, OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

OKAY, AWESOME.

Jason: DEAR DAIRY, EVERY SINCE I'VE BEEN ON HIATUS,

MY LIFE'S BEEN GREAT.

I'M PLAYING FOR THE FIRST TIME AND MAKING NEW FRIENDS.

I REALIZE NOW WHAT'S BEEN MISSING FROM MY LIFE:

FUN.

LOVE, JASON.

I'M GETTING DIZZY.

HELP ME! HELP ME!

I'M GOING TO FALL.

JASON CATCH US.

YOU KNOW, BRENDON, YOU'RE BEING A BABY.

YOU COULD ASK.

I'LL BE HONEST, I DON'T THINK I CAN GO TO CANCUN RIGHT NOW.

YOU CAN GO TO CANCUN, WE'RE ON FRIENDLY TERMS

WITH MEXICO, BRENDON.

ALRIGHT, THEY LET US IN.

YEAH, I'M NOT SAYING THAT, I'M SAYING THAT

I DON'T THINK MY MOM IS GOING TO LET ME GO

WITH MY SOCCER COACH TO MEXICO.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK.

Brendon: THAT'D BE—— I'M A, I'M A GUARDIAN.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO MY MOM?

ALRIGHT, YOU APPROACH ME, I'LL BE YOUR MOM, YOU BE YOU.

OKAY, MOM, CAN I GO TO CANCUN, PLEASE?

WITH WHO? UH, WITH COACH McGUIRK.

SURE.

SEE, ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS ASK.

OKAY, YEAH.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH THIS COUNTRY, NOBODY ASKS.

RIGHT, LOOK, I'M GOING TO ANSWER RIGHT NOW,

I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT SORRY I CAN'T.

Lynch: I TAKE TRAVELING VERY SERIOUSLY,

AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE YOU, MY TRAVEL COMPANION,

PARTICIPATE IN SOME PRELIMINARY TRAVEL EXERCISES,

INCLUDING A CRASH COURSE IN MEXICAN HISTORY

AND RUDIMENTARY SPANISH.

HMM, NO.

OKAY, WELL THEN HASTA MANANA, COMPADRE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

THAT MEANS GOODBYE FOREVER.

REALLY?

WELL, NO, BUT I'M EXAGGERATING, BUT, LOOK IF—...

LYNCH, LET ME INTERRUPT YOU. SHUT UP.

YOU ARE GOING WITH ME TO MEXICO,

TO CANCUN, SO I CAN GET A BETTER RATE.

LOOK, IF YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU ON THIS VACATION

TO CANCUN, THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO MEET ME HERE

AFTER SCHOOL, THAT'S IT.

AND BRING A PENCIL.

HOLD MY CALLS, JULIET, OKAY, AND WHEN I SAY HOLD MY CALLS,

WHAT I REALLY MEAN IS PUT THE CALLER ON HOLD.

MR. LINDENSON, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GLAD YOU WANTED TO SEE ME,

BECAUSE ACTUALLY I WANTED TO—...

PAULA? UH—HUH?

OVER THE LAST THREE FISCAL YEARS, I WOULD SAY

I'VE ONLY HELD MY CALLS ON A HALF DOZEN OCCASIONS,

PERHAPS LESS.

THAT'S HOW RARE IT IS.

JUST SO YOU KNOW.

OKAY. GOOD.

ALRIGHT, THIS IS GOING VERY SMOOTHLY SO FAR, NOW—...

LOOK UM, MR. LINDENSON, I KNOW THE DROP OUT RATE

IN MY CLASS IS HIGH, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT,

I REALLY WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT BECAUSE—...

WORRY, I AM A MAN WHO HAS NO TIME

FOR WORRYING ABOUT THINGS; CONVERSELY, I DON'T THINK YOU

SHOULD WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING AS MINISCULE

AS STUDENTS DROPPING OUT.

RIGHT, YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY—...

HOWEVER, I AM AFRAID THAT YOU'RE FIRED.

WHOA, WAIT, I'M FIRED?

YES, PAULA, YOU'RE FIRED.

I HATE TO SAY IT AGAIN, BUT WHY NOT.

THE SCHOOL IS DEALING WITH A SERIES OF BUDGET CUTS,

AND I'M AFRAID YOUR CLASS WAS PUT UP ON A CHOPPING BLOCK.

REALLY?

HEY, LET'S NO MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU AND THE FIRING THING.

THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU, PAULA,

YOU KNOW, MRS. GARDENER, THE BAG PIPE LADY?

YEAH.

GONESKI, SAME WITH, AND HOW ABOUT,

AND YOU KNOW MR. FRENCH?

UH—HUH.

BUDGET CUTS! WHAT DO YOU DO?

NOTHING WORSE THAN LETTING SOMEONE GO, PAULA.

UM, I'M SORRY, THIS IS EFFECTIVE WHEN?

UH, PAULA, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE UNDERSTANDING WHAT I'M SAYING.

IT'S EFFECTIVE NOW, YOU'RE GONE.

IT'S NOT A FIRING THAT TAKES PLACE

AT SOME FUTURE TIME,

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CLEAN OUT YOUR DESK

IMMEDIATELY, IMMEDIATELY, POST HASTE.

I DON'T HAVE A DESK.

WELL THEN, COULD YOU POSSIBLE CLEAN THE WINDOWS AT LEAST?

OKAY, BAD JOKE, BAD JOKE—— WELL, YOU KNOW, NOT A BAD JOKE,

BUT A BAD TIME FOR JOKES.

LISTEN, YOU'RE SURE YOU DON'T NEED ME TO TAPE TODAY.

YEP.

OKAY, YOU GUYS READY TO WORK, YOU'VE BEEN PRACTICING?

WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE I COULD STICK AROUND

AND HELP OUT WITH OTHER STUFF OR SOMETHING.

NO, THANKS.

REALLY, COULD I COULD JUST BE HELPFUL AS AN AUDIENCE MEMBER,

YOU KNOW, AN EXTRA PAIR OF EARS, JUST, YOU KNOW.

HUH—UH, NOPE.

OR, YOU KNOW, MAYBE I COULD JAM WITH YOU GUYS,

NORMALLY I WOULDN'T SUGGEST THAT,

BUT I HAVE BEEN PRACTICING ON THIS,

AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING THE HANG OF IT,

LISTEN TO THIS.

THERE'S A HIGH NOTE.

OW, I'M OKAY.

OOH!

THAT'S NOT MINE, THAT'S MY MOM'S SHOE.

LET ME HAVE THAT.

UH, I'M SO SORRY, YOU'RE SURE THERE'S NOTHING

I CAN DO TO HELP OUT?

YOU WANT TO BE MY ROADIE?

SURE, WHAT IS THAT?

♪ YOU'RE SUCH A PRETTY GIRL YEAH, YOU ARE ♪

♪ AND YOU LIKE TO SPIN AND TO TWIRL ♪

♪ I SAID, OOH, YOU GOT THOSE CRAZY LEGS ♪

♪ I SAID, OH, YOU GOT THOSE CRAZY LEGS ♪

♪ GUITAR ♪

WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO PLUG YOUR GUITAR IN,

THIS IS WHAT I THOUGHT YOU MEANT, AND YOU KNOW,

I KNEW IT DIDN'T FIT, SO I HAD TO USE A HAMMER,

AND SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,

THIS IS TOTALLY GOING TO ELECTROCUTE YOU,

AND YOU KNOW, I WANTED TO TELL YOU, BUT,

I GOT SIDE TRACKED TRYING TO FIX THOSE STAGE LIGHTS.

THAT WASN'T THE ONE I WAS EVEN WORKING ON,

BUT LOOK, I WOULDN'T WORRY, DWAYNE,

BECAUSE BEING ELECTROCUTED NEVER HAPPENS TWICE, UM...

NO, BUT STILL IT'S A SIGN OF GOOD LUCK.

WAIT, NO, IT ISN'T, THAT'S IF A BUTTERFLY

LANDS ON YOU.

UH, DWAYNE, I AM SO SORRY.

OKAY, GUYS, DO IT AGAIN.

HELLO AGAIN. HI.

HI, WHAT IS YOUR NAME ANYWAY?

CYNTHIA.

CYNTHIA, OH, THAT'S COOL. I'M, UH, I'M BRENDON.

HEY GUYS, GUYS?

YEAH, IT'S NOT THAT FLASHY, BUT I MIGHT CHANGE IT

FOR SHOWBIZ, YOU KNOW. SOMETHING'S OFF.

I WAS THINKING LIKE NATHAN, OR THE CLIFF.

NO, WITH THE LEFT LEG.

YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I'VE GOT YOUR ATTENTION.

I'M SORRY, ONE SECOND. GUYS, WHAT IS THAT?

I WAS, YOU KNOW, WONDERING IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY?

Cynthia: DO IT LIKE I SHOWED YOU YESTERDAY, REMEMBER?

MAYBE YOU AND I COULD DO SOMETHING SOME TIME, AND,

I'VE GOT A PRETTY COOL SAND BOX.

Cynthia: GOOD, THAT'S MUCH BETTER.

AND THAT'S WHERE I'LL BE IF YOU NEED ME

BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE LISTENING AT ALL.

Cynthia: YES, GUYS, WATCH DWAYNE, HE'S DOING IT RIGHT.

ANYWAY, UH, LIKE I WAS SAYING UMM.

LOOK, I GET TO BACK TO WORK, NATHAN. BRENDON.

CYNTHIA. CHER. DWAYNE, THAT WAS AMAZING.

AWESOME.

DID YOU JUST SAY AWESOME?

NO.

Lynch: ME LLAMO SENOR LYNCH.

COMO TE LLAMA, HMM?

COMO TE LLAMA?

Lynch: TE LLAMA SENOR McGUIRK.

SENOR JUAN McGUIRK.

OH, I HATE THIS, LYNCH.

VERDAD, LET'S BEGIN.

COMO TRABAJA, EH, SENOR McGUIRK?

SI, WHAT IS YOUR JOB?

ALRIGHT, GREAT.

AND WHAT IS YOUR JOB?

WHAT, YOU'RE ASKING ME WHAT MY JOB IS?

YES, COMO TRABAJA?

OH, I'M A SOCCER COACH.

HMM, IN ESPANOL POR FAVOR.

WHAT?

WE SPEAK SPANISH IN THIS CLASS, SENOR McGUIRK.

TU ERES EL PROFESSOR DE SOCCER.

VERDAD, NOW—...

YO TENGO UN CACAHUERTE.

OH, BOY. REPITE.

YO TENGO UN CACAHUERTE.

MUY BIEN.

THAT MEANS I HAVE A PEANUT.

McGuirk: WOW, THAT'S——

NOW, REPEAT AFTER ME—...

YO TENGO—...

WAIT, WAIT, HOW DID WE GO FROM WHAT'S YOUR JOB

TO I HAVE A PEANUT?

OKAY.

YO TENGO UN PUERCO EN MI NARIZ.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

THAT MEANS I HAVE A PIG IN MY NOSE.

WHAT IS GOING ON IN MEXICO?

Lindenson: I GOT TO TELL YOU, FROM MY END, I FEEL BAD

ABOUT YOU BEING FIRED, I GOT TO TELL YOU THAT.

WELL, DON'T.

NO, PAULA, NO, THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE.

AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IT WASN'T MY FAULT YOU WERE LET GO,

THOUGH TECHNICALLY, I DID GIVE YOUR NAME

TO THE BOARD WHEN THEY ASKED ME WHO THEY SHOULD FIRE.

UH—HUH.

YOUR NAME JUST LEAPT TO MIND.

IT WAS LIKE A WORD ASSOCIATION THING.

WHO SHOULD I FIRE? PAULA.

I'M SORRY, WHY ARE YOU CALLING?

WELL, LET'S JUST CALL THIS A FRIENDLY POST LETTING GO,

HOW'S IT GOING WITH YOU, PAULA, IN YOUR NEW LIFE?

OKAY, NO, IT'S NOT THAT, IT'S MORE OF A HEY—— Paula: UH—HUH.

DON'T TAKE BEING FIRED THE WRONG WAY

AND FILE A LAWSUIT KIND OF A THING, YOU KNOW?

LOOK.

JUST A GOOD OLD FASHIONED, PLEASE DON'T SUE US,

AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOUR FREE TIME

KIND OF A CALL.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I GOTTA GO.

NO, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU HUNG UP ON ME.

SO?

WELL, I, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DO SOMETHING DRASTIC.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IT HAPPENS, PAULA, PEOPLE GET FIRED,

THEN THEY TRY TO, YOU KNOW—...

AND I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN, PAULA.

OH, NO DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING TO MYSELF.

YOU? NO, I MEANT ME.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA, YOU KNOW, WHACK ME.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DEEP SIX ME.

ARE YOU NUTS?

OF COURSE NOT.

OH, OKAY, GOOD.

I WAS VERY NERVOUS.

SO, FOR THE RECORD, NO?

NO.

HEY, HEY, HEY HEY, HEY, HEY, DON'T BE OFFENDED, PAULA.

YEAH—...

ANYWAY, LOOK, I FEEL BAD AND I, I BOUGHT YOU A GIFT,

Lindenson: I HOPE YOU LIKE WINE.

I DO.

PACKAGED IN BOXES.

SO WHAT'S ALL—A ABOUT—A PAULA SMALL—A?

Lindenson: WHAT MAKES HER TICK?

WHAT'S, WHAT'S DROP, WHAT'S BEHIND,

WHAT'S UNDER THE HOOD?

I'M HOME.

HI, I FOUND ONE OF YOUR SHOES, MOM.

OH, I WAS LOOKING FOR THAT.

Brendon: UM, YEAH.

WELL, HELLO.

HI.

NOW LOOK AT YOU.

YEAH.

WHAT AN ADORABLY PERFECT LITTLE YOUNG LADY.

UH, WELL, I'M NOT SO LITTLE.

BRENDON, THIS IS ARNOLD LINDENSON.

Brendon: OH.

THE MAN WHO FIRED ME.

OHHH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WINE WENT SO QUICKLY,

I, IT WAS THERE, IS THERE A LEAK?

ACTUALLY IF YOU MIGHT EXCUSE ME, I THINK I NEED

TO USE THE FACILITIES.

YEAH, UH, FOLLOW ME.

OH, WHOA, HEY, WHOA, WHEW.

OKAY, I SHOULD GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM,

AND YOU SHOULD JUST GO.

Lindenson: IT'S UP TO YOU.

HEY THAT'S, THAT'S YOUR CALL.

I'LL BE, UH—— TO EACH HIS OWN, YOUNG WOMAN.

UH—HUM.

HEY, LET'S PLAY MORE. YEAH, IT'S FUN.

PLAYING IS FUN. YEAH, IT IS.

DON'T QUIT OUT ON US.

GET UP, COME ON, JASON.

WE COULD JUST PLAY FOREVER.

NO MORE.

SO, BRENDON WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE FANCY DANCY GIRL?

UH, NOTHING, UH—— REALLY?

YEAH, YEAH, THE ONLY GOOD THING THAT CAME OUT OF IT

WAS THAT IT MADE ME WANT TO GET BACK TO WORK.

I HEAR THAT.

WELL, GUYS, HIATUS IS OVER, WE'RE FRESH, WE'RE FOCUSED,

LET'S GET TO WORK.

LET'S DO IT.

HUH.

THIS STILL SUCKS.

YEAH.

YEAH, IT'S SOMEHOW GOTTEN WORSE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS, NO MORE HIATUS'S

EVERY AGAIN, OKAY?

IT'S GOING TO BE A LITTLE TIGHT AROUND HERE UNTIL I

GET ANOTHER JOB, BRENDON, BUT YOU KNOW,

I THINK WE'RE GOING TO BE FINE.

OKAY.

GOOD THEN. GOOD.

COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND JUST, UH,

TAKE OUT THE RECYCLING WHEN YOU LEAVE?

Brendon: SHO NUFF. Paula: GREAT.

ALRIGHT. Paula: BYE, BYE.

BYE, MOM. Paula: EVERYTHING'S GREAT.

OKAY.

HEY, NATHAN?

UH, BRENDON.

UM, SO, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I MEAN, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN COMING OVER TO DWAYNE'S AT ALL,

AND ELECTROCUTING ANYONE LATELY.

UM, I'VE BEEN ELECTROCUTING PEOPLE,

JUST NOT THERE.

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN BUSY.

OH.

SO WHAT, YOU CAME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO TELL ME THAT?

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

HMM.

ALSO, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M MOVING,

AND I'LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.

REALLY?

Cynthia: NO, I'M KIDDING.

I WANTED TO KNOW IF THAT OFFER WAS STILL OPEN

TO HANG OUT SOMETIME?

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK YOU WERE LISTENING

WHEN I ASKED YOU.

WELL, I WAS.

HUH, THEN WHAT'S MY NAME?

THE CLIFF.

OH, YOU WERE LISTENING.

OH, OH.

LYNCH, COME HERE, LYNCH?

McGuirk: PLEASE.

THAT'S A BIG HAT YOU HAVE THERE.

EXCUSE ME?

LOOK AT THAT HAT, IT'S ROUND.

LYNCH, SHUT UP.

McGUIRK?

WAIT—— NO—— LYNCH GET OFF ME. BUDDY!

LYNCH, YOU'RE DRUNK, I'M GOING TO GET YOU BACK TO THE HOTEL

IF I CAN FIND IT.

OH, LOOK AT THOSE HATS.

EXCUSE ME, MEXICAN?

SI?

I'M TRYING TO FIND MY HOTEL.

ME LLAMO HOTEL.

NO, NO, NO, NO COMPRENDE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO COMPRENDE?

CAN YOU GIVE ME DIRECTIONS?

NO ENGLISH.

McGUIRK, LOOK AT THE BOOK.

LYNCH, YOU KNOW SPANISH. Mexican: NO COMPRENDE.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME, ASK HIM WHERE OUR HOTEL IS.

WHERE'S THE HOTEL?

NO, IN SPANISH, LYNCH. WHERE'S THE—...

LYNCH, HOW DO YOU SAY "WHERE IS THE HOTEL?"

DONDE ESTA LA HOTEL THAT WE WERE STAYING AT?

♪ WELL, I FOUND FIVE BUCKS SO I BOUGHT SOME FANCY SHOES ♪

♪ GONNA PUT 'EM ON MY FEET PUT 'EM TO SOME GOOD USE ♪

♪ WELL, I'M 15 YEARS OLD AND I DON'T LIKE BEING TOLD ♪

♪ WHAT TO DO ♪

♪ I GOT TWO LEGS THEY'RE CRAZY LEGS ♪

♪ THEY'RE VERY HAIRY LEGS AND THEY'RE CRAZY LEGS ♪

♪ I SAID OOH ♪

♪ I GOT THOSE CRAZY LEGS ♪

♪ OOH, I GOT THOSE CRAZY LEGS ♪

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