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♪♪
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00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:08,007
♪♪
3
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DON'T EAT TOO MUCH CANDY
AT THE HALLOWEEN PARTY,
JASON.
4
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:16,860
MELISSA, YOU'RE
NOT MY MOTHER.
5
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:19,129
I KNOW, BUT I'M THE ONE WHO'S
GONNA BE AT THE PARTY WITH YOU,
6
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,452
AND I KNOW
YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT.
7
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,822
MELISSA, WHY NOT?
BECAUSE YOU GET SICK.
YOU GET CRAZY.
8
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,891
OH, PLEASE.
BACK ME UP, BRENDON.
9
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,937
YOU GET UGLY.
I HAVE TO HAVE CANDY!
10
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,363
I'M THE CANDY MONSTER!
AAAH! I GOT YOU!
11
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,864
WHAT?
12
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,244
RELAX, GUYS.
I'M JUST KIDDING.
13
00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:36,535
I'M OFF THE STUFF.
I DON'T EAT CANDY ANYMORE.
14
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:39,383
REALLY?
YEAH, I'VE BEEN COLD TURKEY
FOR LIKE A MONTH.
15
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,306
OH, MAN.
YEAH.
16
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,008
I LOVE COLD TURKEY.
17
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,377
THIRTY-ONE DAYS, GUYS.
CONGRATULATIONS.
18
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,090
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
EATING INSTEAD?
19
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,780
UH, A LOT OF SEAFOOD.
20
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,549
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
21
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,684
WHAT?
SO, ANYWAY.
22
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,331
MELISSA, WHAT ARE YOU
DRESSING UP AS?
23
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,715
I'M GONNA GO AS
THE GRIM REAPER.
GEEZ.
24
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,369
WHAT ARE YOU DRESSING AS?
I'M...
I CAN'T TELL YOU.
25
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,670
I CAN'T TELL YOU.
IT'S A SECRET.
26
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,995
- OH, GOOD MORNING.
- GOOD MORNING, MR. LYNCH.
27
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:08,033
YOU KIDS EXCITED ABOUT
THE HALLOWEEN PARTY ON SATURDAY?
YES, MR. LYNCH.
28
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,879
- STOP DOING THAT.
- YES, MR...
29
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:14,339
STOP. MELISSA,
WHAT ARE YOU DRESSING UP AS?
THE GRIM REAPER.
30
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,119
YEAH? SCARY.
MM-HMM.
31
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:17,409
JASON, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
32
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,279
I'M GOING AS
AN INSURANCE ADJUSTER.
33
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,481
OOH. VERY SCARY.
34
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,894
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU,
BRENDON?
HE WON'T TELL US.
35
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,697
YEAH, IT'S
HIS LITTLE SECRET.
HMM. HOW ABOUT A HINT?
36
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,855
BEST COSTUME EVER.
37
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,857
GRIM REAPER?
INSURANCE SALESMAN?
38
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,637
YEAH. THAT'S
AN INTERESTING HINT.
39
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:37,062
I'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT
FOR SIX MONTHS.
40
00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:40,899
WELL, THAT'S GREAT, BRENDON.
EVERYBODY, I'D LIKE TO MAKE
THIS ANNOUNCEMENT NOW.
41
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,535
I'M DRESSING UP
AS A KITTY CAT.
42
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,904
OH, DARN!
WOW.
43
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:47,706
NO, IT'S FINE, LINDA.
REALLY.
44
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:51,743
AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING
THAT BECAUSE IT'S AWKWARD.
EVEN THOUGH IT IS AWKWARD.
45
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:53,423
HI, MOM.
I'M HOME.
46
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:57,882
HI, LINDA.
HI, BRENDON JR.
47
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:02,887
HOW'S IT GOING IN THERE?
48
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,302
HUH? WHAT?
YOU WANNA COME OUT
AND SEE ME?
49
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,891
UH, THAT'S SO ANNOYING.
50
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,428
THAT'S THE CUTEST THING
YOU'VE SAID SO FAR!
51
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,598
BRENDON, LINDA'S GONNA
BE STAYING WITH US
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
52
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,766
O... KAY.
53
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,801
WELL, WHERE'S MY FATHER?
54
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,848
WELL, HE HAD TO GO ON
A BUSINESS TRIP OUT OF TOWN,
55
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,850
BUT HE'LL BE BACK IN
PLENTY OF TIME FOR THE BIRTH.
56
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,352
SO DON'T WORRY.
I'M NOT WORRIED.
57
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,187
NEITHER AM I.
THAT MAKES TWO OF US.
58
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:25,688
I'M NOT WORRIED.
THREE OF US.
59
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,824
NEITHER AM I.
IT'S BACK DOWN TO TWO.
60
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,460
OH, LOOK AT THE TIME.
I'VE GOTTA GET TO
MY LAMAZE CLASS.
61
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,195
OH, YEAH.
OH, HEY.
OKAY.
62
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,796
SORRY I CAN'T GO.
YEAH, IT'S FINE.
63
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,099
WH-WH-WHAT? YOU WANT
SOMEONE TO GO WITH YOU?
I'LL GO.
64
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:39,124
I'LL TOTALLY GO.
UM, YEAH.
OKAY.
65
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,362
BREATHE, LADIES.
BREATHE.
66
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,243
HEY, OVER HERE.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE HELPING ME.
67
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:50,369
BE THERE IN A MINUTE.
JUST GOTTA FINISH COLORING
THE BUMBLEBEE'S BUTT.
68
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:54,039
WELL, COME OVER HERE
AND HOLD MY HAND AND COUNT
WITH ME OR SOMETHING.
69
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,341
DO IT YOURSELF, LAZY ASS.
70
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,622
THAT'S WHAT I GET
FOR GETTING KNOCKED UP
BY AN 8-YEAR-OLD.
71
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,624
I DIDN'T... IT'S NOT
MY FAULT YOU'RE PREGNANT.
IS IT?
72
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:03,915
COMING!
73
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,685
HOLD ON!
I'M COMING!
74
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:07,686
YEAH? WHAT?
75
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,222
OH, HI. HELLO.
76
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,191
HI.
SORRY I WAS YELLING.
77
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:16,461
OH, NO PROBLEM.
I'M A REPRESENTATIVE OF
THE CRYSTAL SPIRIT FAMILY.
78
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:20,666
WE'RE A NEW SPIRITUAL
ORGANIZATION, AND WE'RE
LOOKING FOR RECRUITS.
79
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,401
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
SIGN ME UP.
80
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:23,780
REALLY?
SURE.
81
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,081
WOW.
YEAH.
82
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,372
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO JOIN
AN ORGANIZATION.
83
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,653
REALLY?
ABSOLUTELY.
DO YOU WANNA COME IN?
84
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,489
WELL, YES,
THAT WOULD BE TERRIFIC.
YOU'VE MADE MY DAY!
85
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,346
WELL, YOU KNOW.
COME ON IN.
86
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:37,827
THAT'S A WEIRD OUTFIT.
WELL, THIS IS
A NEW OUTFIT.
87
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,929
I WASN'T DOING
SO WELL IN THE OLD.
RIGHT.
88
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:43,266
I WANTED PEOPLE TO TAKE ME
LESS SERIOUSLY. I DIDN'T
WANNA BE THREATENING AND...
89
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,890
IT'S WORKING.
OH.
90
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,670
IT IS DEFINITELY WORKING.
THANK YOU.
91
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,334
YEAH.
YOU'RE REALLY SWEET.
92
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,095
NO.
93
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,996
I HAVE A PAMPHLET.
WHAT?
94
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,433
A PAMPHLET.
OH. GREAT. YEAH.
95
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:57,902
"FIND YOUR SALVATION.
CREATE YOUR OWN MORALS
AND BELIEFS."
96
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,571
WOW. THAT'S GREAT.
97
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,340
WE'RE OPEN TO EVERYTHING.
UH-HUH.
98
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,019
WE SEE GOD
IN EVERYTHING AND...
99
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:06,010
AND YOU'RE INTO CRYSTALS,
WHICH I'M ALSO INTO,
BY THE WAY.
100
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,124
REALLY?
YEAH.
I USED TO COLLECT THEM.
101
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,459
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
102
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:12,284
WOW. I FEEL LIKE
I'M FINDING A SOUL MATE HERE.
103
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:17,522
YEAH. I MEAN,
CRYSTALS, BASEBALL CARDS,
CIVIL WAR MEMORABILIA.
104
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,735
OH.
105
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,959
I'M STARTING TO LO...
LOSE MY BREATH.
106
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,506
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ME?
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED
CHANNELING?
107
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,430
IT'S VERY EARLY.
YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND.
108
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,466
I DON'T USUALLY WAKE UP
THIS EARLY.
109
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:30,101
SO, EVERYBODY?
ATTENTION, ATTENTION...
OKAY.
110
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:33,104
SO ON ALL THE PHONES,
I PRESET THE NUMBERS 911.
111
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:36,007
SO IF THE BABY STARTS
COMING OUT, LINDA...
LINDA OVER HERE.
112
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:40,078
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS PRESS "MEMORY" AND
THEN NUMBER 5. BOOP.
113
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,091
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
EASY.
DID YOU JUST PRESS IT?
114
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,783
NO.
YEAH, YOU DID.
YOU JUST DIALED 911.
115
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:47,786
NO, I DIDN'T.
911, POLICE EMERGENCY.MAY I HELP YOU?
116
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,454
HELLO? POLICE EMERGENCY.
117
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,701
BRENDON, TELL THEM
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
IS SOMEONE THERE?
118
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,793
UH, HELLO. THIS WAS
AN ACCIDENT, OKAY?
119
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,062
THERE'S BEEN AN ACCIDENT?
NO, NOTHING.
JUST A MISTAKE.
120
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,432
LOOK, THIS LINE IS
FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY.
121
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,179
RIGHT, RIGHT,
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.
KEEP UP THE GOOD...
122
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:04,703
HELLO? OKAY.
123
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,638
LISTEN, GUYS, BACK HERE.
124
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,841
ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS
ABOUT MEMORY NUMBER 5?
ANY QUESTIONS?
125
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,177
MEMORY NUMBER 5.
BRENDON? BRENDON?
126
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,978
WHAT?
YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN.
127
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,647
NO, I DIDN'T.
YES, YOU DID.
128
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:19,250
HELLO, 911 POLICE EMERGENCY.
HELLO? POLICE EMERGENCY.
129
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,998
BRENDON, TELL THEM
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
I'M SORRY. I CALLED AGAIN
130
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,700
BECAUSE THERE
MIGHT BE A BABY...
131
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,390
NEVER MIND. I GOTTA GO.
132
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,992
OKAY, ALSO, I WILL BE
FILMING THE BIRTH.
133
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,696
SO I TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY
TO WRITE SOME DIALOGUE
FOR YOU TWO
134
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,465
IN CASE YOU FREEZE
IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT.
BRENDON.
135
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,934
DIALOGUE RIGHT HERE.
YOU EACH HAVE A COPY.
DO NOT LOSE THESE.
136
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,669
BRENDON!
WHAT?
137
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:40,350
THEY'RE NOT GONNA LET YOU
VIDEOTAPE THE BIRTH.
OH, PLEASE, LINDA.
138
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:42,541
I KNOW MY RIGHTS.
139
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,042
HELLO.
HELLO?
140
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,378
HELLO?
HELLO? WHY'D YOUHANG UP ON ME?
141
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,180
I THOUGHT WE WERE FIN...
WHO IS THIS?
POLICE EMERGENCY.
142
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,160
WHAT'S WRONG?
SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
143
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,318
BUT AT LEAST WE SAY
THERE'S AN AFTERLIFE.
144
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:56,221
RIGHT, BUT THERE'S
NO AFTERLIFE.
WELL, YES, THERE IS.
145
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:59,924
I MEAN, WE ALL KNOW THAT.
WELL, "WE" ALL DON'T,
'CAUSE WHO SAYS THERE IS?
146
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,361
WELL, I SAY THERE IS,
WE SAY THERE IS.
147
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:05,430
RIGHT, BUT I SAY THERE'S NOT
BECAUSE THERE ISN'T.
148
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,432
WAIT.
BUT I'M NOT GOOD
AT ARGUING.
149
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:10,101
WAIT. OH, MY GOD.
WHAT?
150
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,337
OH, MY GOD!
WHAT'D I DO?
151
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:15,540
OH, MY GOD! I...
OH, MY...
152
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,609
WHAT'S GOING ON?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
153
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:21,212
NOW I KNOW WHERE
I KNOW YOU FROM. YOU'RE
JOHN MCGUIRK, AREN'T YOU?
154
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,482
UM...
YOU'RE THE COACH.
155
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,517
I AM, YEAH.
156
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,018
DO I KNOW YOU?
157
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,520
HELLO!
HELLO.
158
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:32,391
YES, I'M STEPHANIE.
STEPHANIE. UM...
159
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,393
ANDREW SMALLS' WEDDING.
160
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,194
IT'S A, UH, NICE ROOM
YOU GOT HERE.
161
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,141
YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT'S NOT SO NICE?
WHAT'S THAT?
162
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,567
MY BACK'S SORE.
163
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,269
OH, DEAR.
164
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:45,948
OH, SH...
HI.
165
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,807
HI. YEAH, I REMEMBER THE...
YOU AT THAT WEDDING.
166
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,209
YEAH, REMEMBER UPSTAIRS?
LITTLE BIT, YEAH.
167
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:54,513
SO YOU'RE A KOOK NOW, HUH?
168
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,026
OH, YOU.
169
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,484
I ADMIT IT'S WEIRD
I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU FOR...
170
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,731
BUT YOU WERE...
YOU'RE DRESSED DIFFERENT.
YEAH.
171
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,456
YOU'RE DRESSED.
AND, UH, YOU'RE SOBER.
172
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,357
I THINK.
173
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,371
I TRY NOT TO DRINK
TOO MUCH ANYMORE.
174
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:11,296
THERE IS A HINT OF LIQUOR
ON YOUR BREATH,
JUST SO YOU KNOW.
175
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:14,165
I GET A LITTLE NERVOUS
GOING DOOR TO DOOR.
I BET IT'S TOUGH.
176
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:18,202
IT'S TOUGH.
SO, CAN I MAKE YOU
SOME EGGS, OR...
177
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,017
LET'S SEE WHAT I GOT.
HOT DOGS?
THAT'D BE GREAT.
178
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,685
REALLY?
YEAH.
179
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,629
I CAN PUT 'EM BOTH
TOGETHER. I CAN MAKE
A HOT DOG OMELET.
180
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,713
HEY, LYNCH.
181
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,683
GOOD, THERE YOU ARE.
WE'RE ALL SET FOR
THE HALLOWEEN PARTY, RIGHT?
182
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,030
YEAH, LOOK, LYNCH.
I'M BRINGING A DATE,
ALL RIGHT?
183
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,254
WHAT?
SO DON'T GIVE ME
ANY CRAP ABOUT IT.
184
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:40,024
NO, NO. I'M JUST SAYING BE
THERE ON TIME BECAUSE I HAVE
TO PICK UP A LOT OF THE KIDS.
185
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,060
SO YOU NEED TO BE THERE
BEFORE I GET THERE.
186
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,963
SHE IS GREAT LOOKING, LYNCH.
I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT.
187
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,332
SHE'S HOT.
I MEAN, UNBELIEVABLY HOT.
188
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,468
WELL, THAT'S...
I'M JUST SAYING
BE THERE ON TIME...
189
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:52,604
SHE'S HOT AND SHE LIKES ME.
HOW'S THAT EQUATION FOR YOU?
190
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,919
ONE PLUS TWO
EQUALS MCGUIRK.
ALL RIGHT?
191
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:59,711
YES, THAT'S AMAZING.
TWO PLUS FOUR
EQUALS SHE'S HOT.
192
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:03,114
HMM.
SIX MINUS FOUR EQUALS
THAT MAKES MCGUIRK HAPPY.
193
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,550
LOOK, JUST SHOW UP
IN COSTUME.
YEAH.
194
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:09,754
YOU DON'T HAPPEN TO BE
A LITTLE CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT
I'M GOING AS, ARE YOU?
195
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,557
THAT'S A HINT. CURIOUS.
A HINT AS TO...
196
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,403
WHAT I'M GOING AS, YES.
CURIOUS?
197
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,094
RIGHT.
HITLER?
198
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,929
NO, NO, NO.
199
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,832
I'M A KITTY. I'M A KITTY.
CURIOUS AS A...
200
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,802
I'M GOING AS A KITTY.
KITTY-KITTY. MEOW.
201
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,937
MEOW, MCGUIRK. MEOW.
202
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,939
WHERE'S KITTY'S MILK?
203
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,542
LYNCH, DID YOU JUST
LICK ME?
MEOW.
204
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,878
YOU JUST LICKED ME.
KITTY LICKED YOU.
205
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,323
LYNCH.
MEOW.
206
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,325
THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE
TALKING TO YOU.
MEOW.
207
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,849
AND NOW I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU.
208
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:41,653
LINDA, CAN YOU GET THAT?
ALL RIGHT.
209
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:45,857
TRICK OR TREAT!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
210
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,927
GHOSTS. SCARY GHOSTS.
211
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,495
YEAH.
HOW ORIGINAL.
212
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:53,698
WHAT?
YOU'RE GHOSTS. BOO.
213
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,401
WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?
YEAH, AN UGLY HOUSEWIFE?
214
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:59,938
OKAY.
TRAILER TRASH JUNKIE
WHO'S PREGNANT?
215
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,974
THAT'S RIGHT. SLAM.
216
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,943
LINDA, MY FIN
FELL OFF AGAIN.
217
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,811
WHERE'S THE STAPLE GUN?
218
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,681
NO, I DON'T WANT ANY MORE
STAPLES ON MY BACK.
219
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,416
TRICK OR TREAT.
220
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,553
SMELL MY FEET.
GIVE ME SOMETHING
GOOD TO EAT.
221
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:17,221
THANK YOU.
NONE FOR ME, THANKS.
222
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,335
IS BRENDON READY TO GO,
THE OTHER MRS. SMALL?
223
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:22,561
DON'T CALL ME
THE OTHER MRS. SMALL, OKAY?
CALL ME LINDA.
224
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,106
LINDA.
AH.
225
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,196
HE'S ALMOST READY.
226
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,243
HI, MR. LYNCH. THANKS
FOR PICKING EVERYONE UP.
227
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,801
NO PROBLEM.
KITTY LIKES TO DRIVE.
228
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,447
MEOW.
229
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,783
YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE GONNA
BE ALL RIGHT?
I'LL BE FINE.
230
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,852
HEY, BRENDON,
NICE COSTUME.
231
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,376
I CAN SEE WHY
YOU KEPT IT A SECRET.
232
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,423
NO, GUYS, THIS ISN'T
WHAT I WAS GONNA...
233
00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:43,548
MR. LYNCH STOLE MY IDEA.
I WAS GONNA BE A KITTY CAT.
234
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:46,051
WHAT ARE YOU NOW?
I'M A FISH.
235
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,119
IT'S GOOD.
IT'S... AWFUL.
236
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,500
OH, BOY. WATCH OUT.
KITTY LOVES FISH.
MMM, MEOW.
237
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,959
GET AWAY!
HE'S BEEN DOING THAT ALL NIGHT.
238
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,828
- WE SHOULD GET GOING.
- WELL, LET'S GET SCRATCHIN'.
239
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:58,663
BYE, LINDA.
240
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,172
BYE, LINDA.
241
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,134
OW. OW. OH,
I THINK THE BABY'S...
242
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:06,004
THE BABY'S WHAT?
BABY COMING.
243
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,785
OH, MY GOD. I THINK
THE BABY'S COMING.
BABY... COMING.
244
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,653
YOU READY?
YES.
245
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:13,344
HERE I COME. TA-DA!
246
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,279
HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK?
247
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,916
OH, MY GOD.
YOU LOOK HOT.
248
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,851
REALLY?
YEAH.
249
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,120
I THOUGHT I LOOKED HIDEOUS,
BUT IT WAS FUNNY.
250
00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,989
NO, IT-IT SUITS YOU.
251
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:27,291
I PUT A PILLOW IN MY BUTT.
YOU'RE FULL-BODIED.
252
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,995
YEAH. AND THESE
ARE CHUNKY SOUP CANS.
253
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,664
SMART.
YEAH. I'M A BIG
BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
254
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,945
YOU WANNA LITTLE HELP
WITH YOUR EYE SHADOW?
YEAH, AND I WANT A LOT OF IT.
255
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,670
YOUR, UM...
YOUR HAND SMELLS NICE.
256
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:41,205
SO DOES YOURS.
OH, THANKS.
257
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:44,408
I USE COCONUT SOAP.
IT'S JAPANESE.
258
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,045
WOW. IT'S-IT'S
REALLY PUNGENT.
259
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,781
YEAH, I USE A LOT OF IT.
YOU SMELL PUNGENT TOO.
260
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,216
LIKE NOT JUST YOUR HAND.
261
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,519
REALLY?
YEAH, EVERYTHING SMELLS.
262
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,387
NICE, UM, PANTY HOSE.
263
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,189
YEAH, THEY WERE MY MOM'S.
264
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:01,259
THAT'S SWEET.
YEAH.
265
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,895
OW. OW. OW.
DON'T BITE.
266
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,496
SORRY.
267
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,932
OH, GOD.
268
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:12,203
WHAT ABOUT THE PARTY?
WE'LL BE LATE.
IT WON'T KILL US.
269
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,773
OH, I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR THIS, MCGUIRK.
270
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:17,120
FOR WHAT?
FOR-FOR THIS MOMENT WITH...
271
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,643
OH, OH.
YEAH.
272
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,646
I CAN TAKE THE WIG OFF.
NO, NO, LEAVE
THE WIG ON, PLEASE.
273
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,381
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
274
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:25,728
SHOULD I TAKE THIS
DRESS OFF?
GOD, NO!
275
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:29,554
'CAUSE IT'S REALLY,
YOU KNOW... IT'S TIGHT.
NO, IT'S GOOD, IT'S GOOD.
276
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:32,323
OKAY, I'LL LEAVE IT ON.
OKAY.
277
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,704
MAYBE WE SHOULD, UM,
GO TO THE BEDROOM.
278
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,895
UM, WE'RE IN IT.
REALLY?
279
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,496
YEAH, IT'S A MURPHY BED.
280
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,877
WELL, LET'S UNFOLD
THIS BABY.
ALL RIGHT.
281
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,434
YEAH.
OW. WHOA, WHOA.
282
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,481
WAIT A MINUTE.
MY ARM JUST FELL ASLEEP.
283
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,172
THAT'S WEIRD.
284
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,108
WOW. MY ARM...
HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
NO PROBLEM.
285
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,817
OW.
OH, YEAH.
286
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,745
JUST WAIT.
OKAY, GRR.
287
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:57,415
OW. WHAT IS IT?
MY CHEST FEELS TIGHT.
288
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,718
YOU BIG GIRL GUY, YOU.
OW.
289
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:01,319
OH, BOY.
WHAT?
290
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,987
OW!
WHAT?
291
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,689
OW!
OH, MY GOD! WHAT?
292
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,290
OH, BOY!
WHAT?
293
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,728
COME ON! COME ON!
294
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,436
CALL AN AMBULANCE!
WHAT?
295
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,883
CALL AN AMBULANCE!
CALL AN AMBULANCE!
296
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,040
NOW? FOR REAL?
297
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,408
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
298
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,546
SEND AN AMBULANCE, QUICK!
OKAY, WAIT.
299
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,815
WHAT'S-WHAT'S YOUR ADDRESS?
I DON'T KNOW.
300
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,261
WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW!
301
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,753
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU DON'T KNOW?
I FORGOT.
302
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:37,366
CHECK THE NUMBER.
HOLD ON, PLEASE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
303
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:38,890
THERE'S MAIL ON THE TABLE.
304
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,039
SO, DOC, I'M FEELING FINE NOW.
I'D LIKE TO GET OUT OF HERE.
305
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:59,710
SO SIGN ME OUT.
ME AND HER, WE'RE ACTUALLY
GOING TO A PARTY. WINK, WINK.
306
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,413
WE WERE. WINK, WINK.
YEAH.
307
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:05,884
WELL, I DON'T WANNA HOLD UP
YOUR WINKING. NICE EARRINGS
BY THE WAY. WINK, WINK.
308
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,619
THANKS.
MR. MCGUIRK,
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE
309
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,655
TILL WE GET THE X-RAYS
AND THE BLOOD WORK BACK.
310
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,124
YOU'VE HAD A HEART ATTACK.
OH, MY GOD!
311
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:16,594
NO WAY. REALLY?
NURSE, START AN I.V.
AND GIVE HIM SOME NITRO.
312
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,897
PRETTY YOUNG
FOR HEART ATTACKS,
AREN'T WE, MR. MCGUIRK?
313
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,844
YEAH, WOW. I AM
PRETTY YOUNG FOR
A HEART ATTACK, HUH?
314
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,368
WHAT'S YOUR DIET LIKE?
UM, I DON'T DIET.
315
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,204
MM-HMM.
I DRINK A LOT.
316
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:28,072
THAT MIGHT DO IT.
I DID THIS!
317
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,119
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU DID IT?
NO, DON'T...
318
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,721
WOULD YOU CARE
TO MAKE A STATEMENT?
NO, STEPHANIE, NO.
319
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:36,114
I HAD BEEN WARNED
AND I DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
320
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:39,228
IT'S HAPPENED ONCE BEFORE.
YOU DID THIS
TO SOMEONE ELSE?
321
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,886
IT WAS A WHILE AGO.
I WAS YOUNGER.
WELL, WHO?
322
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,555
A COLLEGE PROFESSOR.
GEEZ.
323
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,725
HE DIED.
OH, GREAT.
YOU'RE A KILLER.
324
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,828
I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO GO
HAVE A CIGARETTE RIGHT NOW.
325
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:53,309
WHY DON'T YOU GO HAVE SEX
WITH SOMEONE AND GIVE THEM
A HEART ATTACK AGAIN?
326
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,000
YOU'RE OKAY.
OW.
327
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,014
YOU'RE OKAY.
PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT.
328
00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:00,004
OW!
YOU'RE OKAY.
329
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:03,975
PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT.
I'M NOT OKAY.
I'M HAVING A BABY.
330
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,110
KNOCK, KNOCK. HELLO.
331
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,613
HI, MAMA. LINDA, I'VE GOT
GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS.
332
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,415
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?
333
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,118
WELL, THERE IS NO BAD NEWS.
WHAT?
334
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,355
THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS.
THE GOOD NEWS IS
THERE'S NO BAD NEWS.
335
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:20,424
BUT YOU SAID THERE WAS
GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS.
336
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,961
YEAH.
SO WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?
337
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,007
I THINK HE'S SAYING...
OKAY, LET ME...
338
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,631
THERE'S GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS,
AND THE GOOD NEWS IS NOT BAD.
339
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,445
AND THE BAD NEWS
IS GOOD, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
340
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,936
OH, I GET IT.
IT'S A JOKE, RIGHT?
341
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,782
YES!
EXACTLY!
342
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:36,374
THAT'S NOT VERY FUNNY.
I'M HAVING A BABY!
343
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,322
I THINK IT'S FUNNY.
WELL, THANK YOU.
344
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,357
OW, SH...
345
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,215
OH, THAT'S A BIG ONE.
I THINK THIS BABY'S
COMING, FOLKS.
346
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,129
BRING IT ON.
WE'RE LOCKED AND LOADED.
NO, NO. PUT THAT AWAY.
347
00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:50,288
CUT! CUT! THERE IS NO
VIDEOTAPING OF BIRTHS
ALLOWED HERE.
348
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,757
OW, FU...
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
349
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,593
I'M NOT VIDEOTAPING, DOCTOR.
I'M MAKING A FILM.
350
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,595
YOU'RE IN IT.
THERE'S A PART FOR YOU IN IT.
351
00:14:57,663 --> 00:15:00,042
I'M IN IT?
YEAH, OF COURSE.
IT'S A PART WITH A DOCTOR.
352
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,000
I'VE GOT IT RIGHT HERE.
LET ME SEE THAT.
353
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:05,114
IT'S BASICALLY ABOUT
CHILDBIRTH, BUT THE
REAL FOCUS IS ON YOU.
354
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:09,173
THIS IS JUST
SOME CHILDISH GIBBERISH.
IT'S A LITTLE ROUGH...
355
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,576
NO, I LIKE IT.
I LIKE CHILDISH GIBBERISH.
SO DOES AMERICA.
356
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,456
THIS IS REALLY GOOD!
REALLY?
357
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,648
THIS IS REALLY GOOD.
IT'S A FIRST DRAFT.
IT'S NOT FINISHED. THANK YOU.
358
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,650
OH, FU...
OH, BACK TO THE BABY.
359
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,719
WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART
ABOUT IT, OFFHAND?
360
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,868
I MEAN, LIKE WHAT DID YOU...
BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU GET...
HOLY FU...
361
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:28,993
GIVE ME SOMETHING
FOR THIS FU... PAIN NOW!
362
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:32,863
HEY, LINDA, REMEMBER,
LIKE IN CLASS,
JUST RELAX, JUST RELAX.
363
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,911
THERE, THERE.
I'LL PAT YOU ON THE HEAD.
364
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,002
SHUT THE FU... UP,
YOU LITTLE FU...
365
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,971
HEY, WHOA. WHAT'S...
366
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,618
IT'S OKAY. THAT'S COMPLETELY
NORMAL BEHAVIOR...
CROSS-GENDER HATRED.
367
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,620
BUT THAT'S NOT NORMAL.
SHE SWORE AT ME.
368
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,812
SHUT THE FU... UP,
YOU LITTLE MOVIEMAKING
PIECE OF SH...
369
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,515
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
370
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:54,352
YOU TALKED TO ME THAT WAY.
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
371
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:57,255
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
SHUT UP! I HATE YOU!
SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
372
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,326
THAT'S GOOD.
USE IT, LINDA.
373
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,239
I'M LEAVING!
374
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,629
GOOD.
DOCTOR, I'M SORRY YOU HAD
TO SEE ME THIS WAY!
375
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:08,333
DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU
IN THE ASS ON THE WAY OUT!
376
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,079
WHAT?
YOU HEARD ME!
377
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,869
NO, I WAS OUTSIDE? WHAT?
378
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:15,273
SPEAKING OF DOORS,
WE ARE OPENING REAL WIDE HERE.
YOU'RE DOING WELL, LINDA.
379
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:18,142
HI. I'M A FRIEND OF LINDA'S.
380
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,356
HI.
I'M PAULA. HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
381
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,425
HI, PAULA.
OH, THIS IS MY SON, BR...
382
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:25,216
OH, I GUESS HE HAD
TO GO GET A SNACK.
383
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:28,353
TRULY I'M SORRY!
KNOCK, KNOCK!
THAT'S MY SON BRENDON.
384
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,489
WHO'S THERE?
YOU!
385
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:33,191
YOU TOO!
386
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,438
- NICE KID.
- YOU!
387
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,107
WELL, I GUESS YOU TWO
SHOULD STAY WITH KITTY.
YOU!
388
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:41,265
GOOD, GOOD.
OH, LOOK AT THIS.
WHO WANTS SOME CANDY?
389
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,801
MELISSA, SAY
TRICK OR TREAT.
TRICK OR TREAT.
390
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:46,670
OKAY, THERE YOU GO.
JASON, TRICK OR TREAT?
391
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,673
NO, THANK YOU.
TRICK MEOW
OR MEOW TREAT MEOW.
392
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,043
MR. LYNCH, JASON QUIT CANDY.
HE DOESN'T WANT ANY.
393
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,423
YEAH, RIGHT.
WHO QUITS CANDY?
394
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,981
I KNOW YOU KIDS.
JASON, TRICK OR MEOW TREAT?
395
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,894
NO, THANK YOU.
MEOW OR MEOW TREAT?
396
00:16:58,918 --> 00:17:00,496
JASON, BE STRONG.
CANDY.
397
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,587
MR. LYNCH, STOP.
TRICK OR MEOW,
MEOW OR TREAT?
398
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,057
NO, DON'T... DON'T, MR. LYNCH.
TRICK OR TREAT?
399
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,569
TRICK OR TREAT?
400
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:10,861
I CAN'T TAKE
THE TRICK OR MEOW TREAT!
401
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,530
MEOW.
JASON, NO!
402
00:17:12,598 --> 00:17:15,544
YOU DON'T NEED TO
WATCH THIS, MELISSA!
I CAN'T WATCH IT!
403
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,069
WHY? WHAT...
I'M CHANGING!
404
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:21,772
NO!
I'M CHANGING!
405
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:25,221
TELL ME TO SHUT UP?
YOU SHUT UP.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
406
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,523
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I MEAN, COME ON.
407
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,547
BRENDON?
COACH MCGUIRK?
408
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:32,883
HEY.
OH, MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU...
ARE YOU WEARING LIPSTICK?
409
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,920
IT'S A COSTUME, BRENDON.
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
AS A SALAMANDER?
410
00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:37,422
I'M A FISH.
OH.
411
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,036
COACH, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
I'M DYING, BRENDON.
412
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,071
I'M DYING.
NO, REALLY.
413
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:45,729
WELL, I HAD A HEART ATTACK.
WOW, YOU ARE DYING. GEEZ.
414
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,731
HAVE A SEAT.
NO, I GOTTA...
415
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,546
I NEVER THOUGHT IT
WOULD END LIKE THIS.
HOW DID YOU THINK?
416
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,115
I FIGURED MAYBE
A BULLET IN THE BACK.
SURE.
417
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:55,051
OR A KNIFE IN THE BACK.
RIGHT.
418
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:57,575
MAYBE HIT BY A TRAIN.
IN THE BACK?
419
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,855
IN THE BACK, YEAH.
A LOT OF THE STUFF,
I'M TURNED AWAY.
420
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,759
RIGHT.
FROM WHAT'S HAPPENING.
I DON'T KNOW IT'S GONNA HIT ME.
421
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,027
RIGHT.
I GUESS WHEN YOU HAVE
A HEART ATTACK,
422
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:07,085
YOU START THINKING
ABOUT THESE THINGS.
423
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,532
WELL, I MEAN...
I WAS THINKING, WOW,
I ALMOST DIED.
424
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,855
COACH, YOU'RE KIND OF
DEPRESSING ME.
425
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,702
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
ANYWAY? YOU SICK?
426
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:17,962
MY FATHER'S WIFE
IS HAVING A BABY.
A BABY? ISN'T THAT IRONIC.
427
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:21,332
LIFE EXPLODES INTO THE WORLD
IN ALL ITS BEAUTIFUL FURY
428
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,767
WHILE DEATH WAITS
AT MY DOORSTEP.
429
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,914
RIGHT.
OH, MY GOD. IT'S DEATH!
430
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,340
COACH, IT'S ME, MELISSA.
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S MELISSA.
431
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,142
THIS IS MY COSTUME.
432
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,223
MELISSA, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
BE WALKING AROUND THE HOSPITAL
DRESSED AS DEATH.
433
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:37,081
COACH, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE? AND WHY
ARE YOU DRESSED AS A WOMAN?
434
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,151
BECAUSE IT'S FREEING.
LISTEN, I JUST MADE
A DECISION.
435
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,454
I'M GONNA CHANGE MY WAYS.
OKAY. HAVE YOU GUYS
SEEN JASON?
436
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,601
- NO.
- BRENDON, CAN YOU VIDEOTAPE THIS, PLEASE?
437
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,759
VIDEOTAPE WHAT?
MY PLEDGE FOR A BETTER LIFE!
438
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,496
WAIT. JASON'S MISSING?
HE STARTED EATING
CANDY AGAIN.
439
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,565
- OH, NO.
- ARE YOU READY? GO AHEAD.
440
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,567
PRESS RECORD. WE GOING?
441
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,647
UH, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
442
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,639
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THIS TAPE IS A PRESCRIPTION
443
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:04,342
FOR A BETTER LIFE,
A RICHER LIFE.
444
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:08,513
I'M GONNA BE A BETTER PERSON
AND I'M GONNA HELP KIDS... MORE.
445
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,581
I'M GONNA LEARN HOW
TO PLAY SOCCER.
446
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,851
THERE, I SAID IT, ON TAPE.
I'VE NEVER PLAYED SOCCER.
447
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,431
- ALL RIGHT.
- I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH.
448
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,087
WAIT, I'M NOT DONE YET.
449
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:20,491
AND I'M GONNA GET
MY PILOT'S LICENSE,
LIKE JOHN TRAVOLTA,
450
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,404
BECAUSE HE'S AMAZING.
HE HAS HIS OWN PLANE.
451
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:25,296
YEAH, HE LIVES LIFE
TO THE FULLEST.
ALL RIGHT.
452
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,176
AND I'M GONNA...
I THINK I GOT THIS.
453
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,635
NO, I'M NOT DONE.
MELISSA? JASON?
454
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:33,204
WHERE ARE YOU?
KITTY IS UPSET.
455
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,939
MEOW! MEOW!
456
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,475
JASON?
457
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,877
OH, MY GOSH.
WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?
458
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:42,746
GLUCOSE. GO AWAY.
I WILL NOT GO AWAY.
459
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:46,450
YOU... YOU MADE ME
THIS WAY!
SHH.
460
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,053
IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
OH, CANDY.
461
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,556
NO MORE CANDY.
CANDY.
462
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,069
I NEED MORE!
LET GO OF ME, MELISSA!
LET GO!
463
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,638
I WILL NOT!
LET GO!
464
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:59,263
I'LL NEVER LET GO!
LET GO, YOU CRAPPY BI...
465
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,432
OW!
SNAP OUT OF IT!
466
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:03,367
OW!
NOW LISTEN TO ME!
467
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,036
NO! OW!
YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?
468
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:09,674
OH, NO, PLEASE.
I'M SORRY I HAD TO
DO THAT AGAIN.
469
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:12,810
OW! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I'M CALM.
470
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,813
I'M CALM. OW.
MELISSA, I SAID I WAS CALM.
471
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,349
SORRY. IT LOOKED LIKE
YOU WERE GONNA ACT UP AGAIN.
472
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,729
NO, I SAID I WAS CALM.
THAT'S WHY I SAID IT.
473
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,653
JASON!
OW. MELISSA...
474
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,132
NO TALKING BACK!
I'M NOT.
475
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,801
NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
I AM LISTENING.
476
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:28,626
I NEED YOU TO CALM DOWN.
I TOLD YOU, MELISSA...
477
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,206
I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO...
OW!
478
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:32,930
MELISSA, PLEASE.
STOP SLAPPING ME.
479
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,065
CALM DOWN, JASON.
NO, BUT...
480
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:37,235
JASON!
OW! I'M NOT...
481
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:40,705
WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?
I AM CALM! OW!
482
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,085
I'M CALM, MELISSA!
STOP SLAPPING! I'M CALM!
483
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:45,710
IT'S GONNA BE OKAY!
OW!
484
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:49,547
UH, ANYBODY SEE
DEATH AND A SALESMAN?
485
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,927
SURE. ARTHUR MILLER.
IT'S A CLASSIC.
486
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:55,986
UH, THANK YOU.
KITTY WILL CONTINUE ITS HUNT.
487
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:59,923
HMM. UNLOCKED. MEOW.
OH. HMM.
488
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:03,361
CANDY WRAPPERS
ON THE MEOW. VERY CURIOUS.
489
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,641
MEOW!
490
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:08,999
KITTY BETTER LAND
ON HIS FEET! OW!
491
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,938
JASON, I HEARD. YEAH.
YEAH.
492
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,774
YEAH.
YEAH.
493
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,208
YEAH.
YEAH.
494
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,256
YOU GONNA BE OKAY?
I HAD TO SMACK HIM
A FEW TIMES.
495
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,890
YEAH, SHE DID.
SHE DID? HOW WAS IT?
496
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,714
I LOVED IT.
ME TOO.
497
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:26,328
I STARTED MY OWN
RELIGION, PAULA.
THAT'S GREAT!
498
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,586
WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN?
NOPE.
499
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:31,032
SO, HOW'S IT GOING?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
HOW'S IT GOING?
500
00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:34,759
I HAD A HEART ATTACK.
YEAH, I KNOW,
BUT LIKE BESIDES THAT.
501
00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:38,362
OH. I'M FINE.
HOW YOU DOING?
FINE. THANK YOU.
502
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:42,533
HERE'S FIVE BUCKS.
GET ME A CORNED BEEF
SANDWICH. I'M STARVING.
503
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:45,536
I WANNA THANK EVERYBODY
FOR HELPING OUT.
504
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:48,739
BRENDON, I'M SO HAPPY
YOU VIDEOTAPED THE WHOLE THING.
505
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,508
GOD, I MIGHT CRY.
506
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:53,544
SO, WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA NAME THE BABY?
507
00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:55,680
HOW ABOUT... JESUS?
508
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:57,926
- THAT'S, UH...
- OOH.
509
00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:01,319
HOW ABOUT MR. ME-OW MEOW?
510
00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:03,421
MR. LYNCH, WHAT HAPPENED?
511
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:06,724
WHAT HAPPENED?
I FELL DOWN A FU... FLIGHT
OF FU... STAIRS
512
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:10,060
BECAUSE I WAS LOOKING
FOR YOUR ASS, MEOW.
513
00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:11,895
THAT'S JUST THE DRUGS TALKING.
514
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:15,165
WOW. I LIKE THOSE.
CAN I HAVE THOSE?
515
00:22:15,234 --> 00:22:17,078
THE ONES THAT MAKE YOU
GO "MEOW"?
516
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,636
MEOW.
DOCTOR?
517
00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:20,971
LET ME CALL DOWN.
WHO WANTS DRUGS?
518
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,807
ANYONE ELSE?
519
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:25,220
- I'M MAKING A RUN.
- WHAT THE HELL.
520
00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:27,222
- WHO WANTS TO PARTY?
- I'M A CAT.
521
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:29,358
MOM, CAN WE GET OUT OF HERE
AND GO TRICK-OR-TREATING?
522
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:31,460
BRENDON, I THINK IT'S TOO LATE
TO GO TRICK-OR-TREATING?
523
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:34,496
ANYBODY WANT SOME OF LINDA'S PLACENTA?
I'M JUST GONNA THROW IT OUT.
38208
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