Original subtitles

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

YOU GUY'S, DON'T BREAK ANYTHING. YEAH, YEAH.

GUYS, LOOK, COWBELLS. WHOOPS. I'LL GET THAT. WHOOPS.

BE CAREFUL. YOU BREAK IT, YOU BOUGHT IT. HEY, WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S A RAINSTICK, JASON. OH.

THAT'S WHY THE BIG SIGN BEHIND YOU SAYS "RAINSTICKS."

RIGHT. BUT WHAT IS IT? THAT DOESN'T HELP ME OUT MUCH. PICK IT UP.

UH-HUH. IS IT RAINING?

SEE, IT SOUNDS LIKE RAIN. NO, IT DOESN'T.

IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE RAIN. I DON'T THINK SO.

ACTUALLY, IT DOESN'T SOUND EXACTLY LIKE RAIN.

IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE LITTLE BEANS FALLING INSIDE OF A CYLINDER.

THAT'S WHAT THE ACTUAL TITLE OF THE STICK SHOULD BE CALLED.

LITTLE BEANS FALLING INSIDE A CYLINDER? YEAH.

HOW MUCH STUFF SHOULD WE GET?

UM, A LOT, BECAUSE WE NEED LOTS OF NOISEMAKERS.

RIGHT, BECAUSE MOST OF OUR MOVIES LACK TEXTURE.

EXACTLY. WELL, SEE, MELISSA... YEAH?

WE NEED BETTER SOUND EFFECTS. EVERYTHING SOUNDS STALE IN OUR MOVIES.

I KNOW. I WAS JUST SAYING, "HOW MUCH SHOULD WE GET?"

MELISSA, ALL MOVIES ARE RELYING ON SOUND. ALL MOVIES.

WHAT ABOUT SILENT MOVIES?

WELL, THOSE ARE CLASSICS, MELISSA.

THEY'RE CLASSICS.

THE OLD BLACK-AND-WHITIES THEY CALLED 'EM.

THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY CALLED 'EM. RIGHT. THEY CALLED 'EM TALKIES.

YEAH, THEY CALLED 'EM TALKIES.

NO. THEY CALLED THEM SILENT MOVIES.

NO, BEFORE THERE WAS SILENT, THERE WAS TALKIES.

NO, TALKIES WAS AFTER SILENT MOVIES. MELISSA.

MELISSA, TALKIES IS AN OLD EXPRESSION.

THAT'S WHEN YOU TALK IN THE MOVIE.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT THE HISTORY OF MOVIES.

I AGREE.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

GO WATCH A TALKIE AND THEN...

OH, LOOK! A TRIANGLE. OH, WOW.

RELATIVE MINOR TO G SHARP. C SHARP MINOR.

NOTE TO GREEN FLAT MAJOR SHARP 11.

E FLAT G KNIFES TO A B FLAT E KNIFES TO AN A NATURAL.

IF I'M VAMPING F SHARP MINOR TO B SEVENTH FLAT NINE, WHAT SCALE...

F SHARP DORIAN OR F NATURAL MIX VERIDIAN FLAT SEVEN. MAKE IT SING FOR ME.

♪♪

NOW MAKE IT SOUND ANGRY.

CHECK YOUR B STRING. UH-OH.

SEXTUPLET SEQUENCE TO G IONIAN STARTING ON THE TONIC.

♪♪

MAKE IT SOUND LIKE MY OLD LADY'S CAT. WHICH ONE?

THE TABBY.

OKAY, NOW MAKE IT TELL A JOKE.

WHO'S THERE?♪♪

SAY THAT AGAIN.

♪♪DUANE, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

THAT'S A DIRTY ONE. YEAH. YOU KNOW,

SOON YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED ME, DUANE.

WHAT? WHY NOT? I'VE TAUGHT YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW.

WOW. YOU'VE GOT IT ALL IN YOUR FINGERS.

YEAH. EVERYTHING THAT WAS IN MY FINGERS IS IN YOUR FINGERS.

OH, GEEZ. YEAH.

WOW. YEAH.

GEEZ. YEAH.

♪♪

LOOK AT US! LOOK! LOOK NOW! LOOK! LOOK AT US!

HEY! LOOK, WE'RE DOING IT! WE CAN PLAY VIOLIN.

WE CAN DO IT! WE CAN DO IT!

WE CAN DO IT! WE CAN DO IT!

WE JUST WROTE A SONG. IT'S CALLED... "WE CAN DO IT"!

FROM THE TOP! READY?

- YEAH! - WE CAN DO IT!

WE CAN DO IT! WE CAN PLAY VIOLIN! WE CAN PLAY...

THAT SOUNDS GOOD. YEAH, LIKE IT'S RAINING ON A COW.

WHO'S BEING HIT BY A STICK. YEAH.

NEVER HAD A LESSON.

UH, HEY, LOOK.

"SUPER CHEAP GUITAR, BASS, DRUM RENTALS AND LESSONS."

THAT SOUNDS KIND OF COOL, DOESN'T IT?

I CALL DRUMS. I CALL GUITAR.

GUYS, I'M NOT PLAYING BASS.

WHY? YEAH, BASS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO MUSIC.

THEN YOU GUYS PLAY THE BASS THEN.

NO WAY. YOU CAN BOTH PLAY BASS. I'LL PLAY DRUMS.

JASON, LISTEN. BASS IS THANKLESS.

NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE BASS PLAYER.

HE'S THE LOSER OF THE GROUP.

THAT'S NOT TRUE. HE IS.

THAT'S NOT TRUE, IS IT?

THERE'S TWO REASONS THAT YOU SHOULD PLAY BASS.

ONE, IS BECAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO MUSIC,

AND THE OTHER IS BECAUSE BRENDON AND I ALREADY CALLED THE OTHER INSTRUMENTS.

I CALLED GUITAR. AND I CALLED DRUMS.

I DON'T LIKE WHEN YOU GUYS TAKE ADVANTAGE

OF THE SPEED FACTOR 'CAUSE I DON'T...

YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE. YEAH.

THEN I'LL PLAY RAINSTICK.

NO. WE DON'T NEED A PERCUSSIONIST. I'LL BE KEYBOARD.

FOR ME AND MELISSA'S STYLE, WE NEED A SOLID BASS PLAYER

- AND THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE NOW, I GUESS. - YEAH.

- IT'S SETTLED. WE'RE A BAND. - THAT WAS EASY.

GREAT. I CALL FRONT SEAT ON THE WAY BACK. IN WHAT?

- WE WALKED HERE. - YEAH.

OH.

I'M F... EVERY WHICH WAY.

WHAT'S UP, GUYS? HEY, DUANE, WE'RE A BAND NOW.

MAYBE YOU COULD JAM WITH US SOMETIME.

YEAH, YOU WANNA BE IN OUR BAND? UH, GEEZ.

I GUESS I, UM...

I GOT A LOT OF BALLS IN THE AIR. YEAH.

A LOT OF PROJECTS GOING ON AT THE SAME TIME, SO...

THAT'S A NO.

♪♪

WOW, HE'S GOOD.

HE'S REALLY GOOD. YOU KNOW THAT GUY, DUANE?

YEAH, THAT'S JIMMY MONET.

YEAH, HE'S PRETTY GOOD, DUANE.

HE'S OKAY, I MEAN, HE'S BEEN PLAYIN' A LOT LONGER THAN ME.

HE'S LIKE 17 OR 18. HE HAS SOME SLOPPY PICKING PROBLEMS.

HE'S ALSO KIND OF A JERK.

YEAH, BUT TO THE UNTRAINED EAR, YOU REALLY CAN'T TELL.

♪♪

WHAT'S UP, DUANE?

WHAT'S UP, JIMMY? CHECKIN' OUT NEW AXES.

THE FRETS ARE WORN DOWN. TOO MUCH PLAYIN' I GUESS.

I'M HUNGRY. WHEN ARE WE EATING? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO EAT.

ONE TIME I ATE FROGS LEGS, BUT THEN I THREW UP EVERYWHERE...

IN A SECOND, LITTLE MAMA.

REAL REASON I CAME HERE WAS DID YOU SIGN UP YET?

WHAT? DID YOU SIGN UP? THE GUITAR CONTEST.

WHAT? NO. I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT YET.

OH, I UNDERSTAND.

PROBABLY WANT ANOTHER YEAR TO PRACTICE, RIGHT?

BUT THEN I'D BE ANOTHER YEAR BETTER TOO,

AND YOU'D BE PLAYING CATCH-UP.

WHAT'S FUNNY? I SAY SOMETHIN' FUNNY?

NAH, I WAS JUST... I THOUGHT...

THAT WASN'T SO BAD, WAS IT?

COME ON, CLARICE. LET'S GO.

HERE I AM! I THINK I PASSED OUT BECAUSE I'M SO HUNGRY.

ONE TIME I PASSED OUT ON THE BUS. ONE TIME I SLEPT THROUGH HALLOWEEN.

LET'S GO, LITTLE MAMA. I WANT BURRITOS. HOW MUCH MONEY YOU GOT?

BYE, DUANE.

I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS. YOU HAVE TO BEAT THAT GUY.

YEAH. WHAT A JERK.

YOU'LL BEAT HIM. RIGHT, DUANE?

YOU CAN TAKE HIM. RIGHT, DUANE?

RIGHT, DUANE?

SO...

UH, I GOTTA GO, MAN.

♪♪

OKAY, WHY AGAIN WOULD YOU WANT TO TAKE UP THE GUITAR?

WHY? I'M A BOY FROM THE SUBURBS. IT'S MY DESTINY.

I JUST WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT.

I DON'T THINK THE GUITAR IS FOR YOU. UH-HUH.

MAYBE THE RECORDER.

LET ME PLAY GUITAR! PLEASE.

IT'S LOUD. OKAY? JUST YOU TALKING ABOUT IT IS LOUD.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

IT'S GOT TOO MANY STRINGS.

IT'S NOT...

FINE. YOU CAN TAKE UP THE GUITAR, OKAY?

I LOVE YOU. I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO SEE IMPROVEMENT.

NO PROBLEM. YOU REALLY HAVE TO LEARN TO PLAY IT.

OKAY, OKAY. WHOOPS! UH-OH.

I USED TO DO THAT. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU PLAYED GUITAR, COACH.

I DIDN'T. I JUST CARRIED ONE AROUND. IT'S A PHASE I WENT THROUGH.

IT WAS THE '70S, YOU KNOW? YEAH.

EVERYBODY HAD A PROP. RIGHT.

IF ANYBODY ASKED ME TO PLAY, I'D JUST COMPLAIN THAT I HAD TENDONITIS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEARN HOW TO PLAY? 'CAUSE IT'S HARD.

IT'S TOO HARD. ANYTHING TOO HARD IN LIFE IS NOT WORTH DOING. REMEMBER THAT.

OKAY. LIKE SNOWBOARDING OR MARTIAL ARTS.

YOU KNOW? YEAH.

POTTERY. RIGHT.

OR, UM, MATH. RIGHT.

MY POINT IS, BRENDON, IF YOU'RE NOT IMMEDIATELY GOOD AT SOMETHING, WHY DO IT? RIGHT?

RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS GOOD AT, BRENDON?

DRINKING? I WAS A GOOD ROADIE.

DID THAT FOR A WHILE IN THE EARLY '80S.

SURE. LOCAL BAND. THEY WERE CALLED ALLIGATOR SHOES.

THEY WERE AWESOME.

YEAH. THEY ALL WORE ALLIGATOR SHOES. THAT WAS THE GIMMICK.

THAT'S PRETTY COOL.

YEAH. WE HAD A GOOD RUN AT IT. YEAH.

YOU EVER FEEL LIKE GOIN' BACK THERE AND DOING THE ROADIE THING AGAIN?

EVERY DAY, BRENDON. OF COURSE. THAT WAS THE LIFE.

SETTIN' UP AMPS. PLUGGIN' 'EM IN. YOU KNOW?

YEAH. CHECKIN' THE MICS.

SURE. THAT WAS THE LIFE.

GIG AFTER GIG AFTER GIG. MUST HAVE BEEN SOME LADIES OUT THERE, HUH?

KIDDING ME?

YEAH. THE FIGHTS.

YEAH. I LOVED THE FIGHTS.

YEAH. THAT'S PRETTY COOL STUFF, MAN.

SO YOU EVER... THE FOOD. THE FOOD WAS GOOD.

YEAH. I'D HAVE TO PUT OUT THE FOOD.

SANDWICHES. PUTTIN' OUT COOKIES.

FRUIT AND STUFF. PUTTIN' OUT, LIKE, MILK. CHECKIN' THE DATE.

THE ONLY MAJOR CONFLICT WAS WE NEVER TRAVELED. OH.

WE WERE A LOCAL BAND.

SO I GUESS YOU COULDN'T OFFICIALLY CALL ME A ROADIE. RIGHT.

I WAS MORE LIKE A HELPER. A "HELPIE."

PEOPLE CALLED ME, LIKE, "OH, YOU ROADIE FOR ALLIGATOR SHOES?"

I'D SAY, "YEAH. YEAH, I ROADIE FOR 'EM."

YOU USED THE WORD ROADIE, BUT IN REALITY...

BUT THERE WAS NO ACTUAL DRIVING OR GOING ANYWHERE. RIGHT.

YOU CAN'T WRITE DOWN "HELPIE" ON A RÉSUMÉ.

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY.

I MEAN, THAT WAS MY YOUTH. RIGHT.

IF I HAD THE CHANCE, I'D DO IT AGAIN.

IF SOMEBODY WAS PUTTI" A BAND TOGETHER, YEAH.

NEEDED A "HELPIE," I'D DO IT.

HMM. WELL, THAT'S INTERESTING.

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ WHOO-WHOO! ♪ ♪ WOW-WOW! ♪

♪ WHOO-WHOO! ♪ ♪ PARTY! ♪

♪ WHOOP-WHOOP! ♪ ♪ WHAT'S GOIN' ON? ♪

♪ YOW-YOW! ♪ ♪ ROCK 'N' ROLL! ♪

STOP!

STOP! STOP!

WE'RE STOPPED.

J... WHAT THE F...

SERIOUSLY! OH, MY GOD!

- WHAT DID YOU THINK, COACH? - I HATE IT!

WHY DON'T YOU PLAY A SONG? I BEEN HERE AN HOUR AND A HALF. ALL YOU DONE IS MAKE NOISE.

THAT WAS A SONG. YEAH, THAT'S CALLED "FREAKY OUTTIE." I WROTE THE BASS PARTS.

YEAH, IT'S OUR FIRST SONG. WE JUST WROTE IT.

I WAS JUST PLAYING, THEN JASON AND MELISSA JOINED IN.

TWO, THREE, FOUR! ♪ FREAKY! ♪

♪ OUTTIE! ♪ ♪ FREAKY! ♪

♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

STOP IT! STOP! STOP! STOP PLAYING!

STOP PLAYING.

YOU GUYS SOUND HORRIBLE.

HI, PAULA. I'M IN YOUR BASEMENT.

HI. HOW ARE YA?

YOU LOOK NICE. THANK YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, MOM?

I THINK IT'S TERRIBLE.

WELL, YOU GUYS SUCK. I'M LEAVING. IT'S 7:00. I GOT BOOK CLUB.

OH, SHUCKS. I'M LATE FOR MY LESSON.

OKAY, SHALL WE BEGIN THEN? WHERE'S YOUR GUITAR?

I, UH, UH...

♪♪

DUANE. YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN OUT THE TRASH, DUANE.

YOU PROMISED THAT YOU WOULD TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

DUANE. DUANE!

AFTER DINNER. RIGHT NOW, IT'S PRACTICE. GEE!

WELL, IT'S DINNERTIME NOW, DUANE.

WE ALL EAT TOGETHER. LET'S GO. HOP TO IT, MISTER.

YOU TAKE OUT THE TRASH, MAN! YOU TAKE OUT THE TRASH!

I'M PRACTICIN' MY RIFFS, MAN!

YOU COME IN, YOU ASK ME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH, MAN!

MAN, YOU TAKE IT OUT. GEEZ! TAKE OUT THE...

STUPID ALLOWANCE. WHOOPS!

AW, GEEZ, MAN.

WHOOPS-A-DAISY.

HEY, DUANE, IS THAT RASPBERRY?

I ALWAYS DROP BLUEBERRY. ONE TIME I DROPPED AN EGG.

THAT CHICKEN HATED ME, BUT I HATED HER FIRST.

I GREW UP ON A FARM. ENOUGH.

MAN. ALL RIGHT. LET'S SPLIT, GUYS.

HEY, DUANE.

WHAT?

LET'S HOPE YOU CAN HOLD YOUR GUITAR

BETTER THAN YOU CAN HOLD YOUR DRINK.

SEE YOU AT THE CONTEST, MAN.

CLARICE.

YEAH? GOT MONEY?

YEAH. GOOD.

I HAVE $3.92 LEFT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

I COUNT IT EVERY FOUR MINUTES.

WHAT A WEIRD LITTLE MAMA.

♪♪

PLAY ME SOMETHING, BRENDON. A LITTLE SOCCER MUSIC.

I WOULD, BUT I HAVE A SLIGHT CASE OF TENDONITIS.

NICELY DONE. HOW'S YOUR BAND GOIN'? STILL SUCK?

WE DON'T SUCK. WE JUST HAVE A DIFFERENT SOUND. DIFFERENT SOUND THAT SUCKS.

WHAT'S UP, STRINGS? NOTHIN'. WHAT'S UP, LOW-END?

NOTHIN'. WHAT'S UP, STICKS?

NOTHIN'. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH YOU PEOPLE?

YOU ON DRUGS? HUH? NO.

WITH ALL THE NICKNAMES? WHAT ARE THOSE, DRUG NICKNAMES?

NO, THEY'RE BAND NICKNAMES.

THESE NICKNAMES KINDA CAME UP ONE DAY AND THEY ALL KINDA STUCK.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, LOW-END?

YOU GOT IT, STICKS.

YOU GUYS BROUGHT THE DEMO OVER?

YUP. COOL.

WE'RE LETTIN' SOME PEOPLE, UH, SAMPLE THE MAGIC.

HEY, GIVE HIM A TASTE. ALL RIGHT.

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ SHUT IT DOWN.

SHUT IT DOWN.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? YEAH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THAT'S THE, UH... THAT'S THE SAME SONG I WAS HEARIN' IN THE BASEMENT, RIGHT?

YEAH.

IT'S GETTIN' BETTER.

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

STOP, PLEASE, STOP. WAIT, WAIT. HERE COMES MY FAVORITE PART.

♪ WHOO-WHOO! ♪ YEAH! DID YOU HEAR THAT?

WAIT, LET ME REWIND IT.

NO, NO, NO. STOP! STOP! STOP, BRENDON.

IS THAT WHAT YOUR TEACHER TAUGHT YOU? ARE THOSE CHORDS? NO, THAT'S...

DON'T YOU START WITH BASIC CHORDS? NO, MOM.

MOM, I LEARNED THAT STUFF FROM THE STREETS.

I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LEARNING FROM YOUR LESSONS. I KNOW SOMETHING.

DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE NAMES OF THE STRINGS?

OF COURSE I DO. I KNOW THE NAMES OF THE STRINGS.

OKAY, WHAT ARE THEY? I CALL THIS ONE PINKY AND THIS ONE WINKY.

AND THIS ONE'S LINKY. OKAY, STOP IT.

IF YOU DON'T LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR I'M GOING TO TAKE IT BACK

BECAUSE I'M NOT INTERESTED IN WASTING MONEY, ALL RIGHT?

SO LEARN TO PLAY THE GUITAR RIGHT. OKAY. WHOOPS.

OKAY, I HAVE A FEW GUITAR QUESTIONS. OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW?

FIRST OF ALL, HOW DO YOU PLAY IT? LIKE THIS.

♪♪OH, THAT'S HOW.

YEAH. I DON'T THINK I HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS.

OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR THE GUITAR CONTEST?

I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

♪♪

YEAH. DUANE!

WHAT? GEEZ!

I JUST RECEIVED YOUR REPORT CARD IN THE MAIL.

OH, BOY. DAD, CAN THIS WAIT? I HAVE A GUEST OVER.

UH, HI. HELLO.

I'M SORRY, BUT YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOUR GRADES ARE TO YOUR FUTURE.

AND YOU'RE JUST THROWING IT AWAY. I DON'T CARE.

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FUTURE?

I DON'T CARE ABOUT REPORT CARDS!

OH, BOY! YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT, DID YOU?

I DON'T CARE ABOUT REPORT CARDS. I ONLY CARE ABOUT GUITAR.

HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT, SIR. HE CARES ABOUT TONS OF THINGS.

I ONLY CARE ABOUT GUITAR! AH, WELL.

HAND ME YOUR GUITAR. IT'S GOING IN THE CLOSET UNTIL YOU GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER.

STUPID REPORT CARD! SUPPOSED TO COME NEXT WEEK! NOT THIS WEEK! GEEZ, MAN!

THAT STINKS. THE GUITAR CONTEST IS TOMORROW AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A GUITAR.

I KNOW! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

JIMMY MONET CAN'T WIN.

THIS IS BAD, DUANE. VERY BAD. MIND IF I USE YOUR TAPE DECK?

I DON'T' CARE.

♪ FREAKY! ♪ SOMETIMES I PUT THIS ON WHEN I'M FEELING DOWN.

JUST RELAX, DUANE. JUST RELAX.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE. ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

YOU LIKE WHAT YOU'RE HEARING? THIS IS OUR FIRST SINGLE.

YES. SO YOU HEARD IT? GREAT. SO, WHAT'D YOU THINK?

UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

TWO OF US ARE EIGHT. THE OTHER ONE'S SEVEN.

YEARS OLD. YES. HELLO?

SO HOW'D IT GO? WELL, WHAT DID THEY SAY?

YEAH, WHEN'S OUR LIMOUSINE COMING? RECORD DEAL DIDN'T HAPPEN.

WHAT? NO WAY.

THAT'S NOT FAIR. I KNOW. I KNOW.

NOT GOOD. NOT GOOD.

EMBARRASSING.

I ALREADY MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS' HOUSE AND I GOT A PLACE.

I ALREADY HAD THAT MONEY SPENT.

MAYBE WE COULD JUST TRY A DIFFERENT STYLE OF MUSIC.

NO WAY, MELISSA. WE DON'T SELL OUT.

WE'RE NOT CHANGING. WELL, HEAR HER OUT.

WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN MIND? MAYBE COUNTRY?

OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE OUT OF THE BAND.

WHOA, WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO, JASON?

WE SHOULD GET A NEW DRUMMER. WE SHOULD GET A NEW BASS PLAYER.

THE DRUMMING IS THE PROBLEM. THE PROBLEM IS JASON CAN'T ROCK.

I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN.

I KNOW WHAT THE REAL PROBLEM IS.

WE DON'T HAVE A GOOD NAME FOR THE BAND.

YES, WE DO. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. THE SURPRISERS.

HATE IT. HATE IT TOO. JASON, ANY IDEAS?

YES. THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. NOT BAD.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? BRENDON POPPINS AND THE CHIMNEY SWEEPS.

EWW. IT'S GOT A RING TO IT. NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT.

UGH! BRENDON POPPINS AND THE CHIMNEY SWEEPS.

MM-HMM. HOW ABOUT THE JASONS?

HOW ABOUT MELISSA AND THE OTHER TWO?

UM, BRENDON. YEAH.

MELISSA'S FIRED.

UM, BRENDON. YEAH.

JASON'S FIRED. LET'S WRAP THIS UP.

I HAVE TO MEET DUANE AT THE GUITAR CONTEST. WHAT ELSE? READ THE LIST.

"WHAT'S OUR NAME?" DID THAT.

"HOW DO WE GET A RECORD CONTRACT?" DID THAT. "VIDEO."

WELL, THE FLOOR'S OPEN.

WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO GUITARMAGEDDON.

OUR COMPETITORS TONIGHT WILL BE JUDGED BY A SERIES OF CRITERIA.

TECHNICAL ABILITY, MUSICALITY, STAGE PRESENCE AND FINALLY, UH...

NO, WAIT. THAT WAS IT.

NOW HELP ME WELCOME TO THE STAGE THE FIRST COMPETITOR,

A GENTLEMAN KNOWN SIMPLY AS FINGER MASTER.

OH, COME ON, BRENDON. WHERE ARE YOU?

LET'S WRAP THIS UP. I HAVE TO GO MEET DUANE AND GIVE HIM MY GUITAR.

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE, BANDMATES. YEAH?

I'M LEAVING THE BAND.

'CAUSE I HATE IT AND I'M GOING SOLO. ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S INTERESTING BECAUSE I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT OF MY OWN. I'M ALSO GOING SOLO.

YOU SHOULD DO WHAT I DO. WHAT'S THAT?

JUST REPEAT EVERYTHING I SAY.

THAT WAS AN IDEA I ALREADY HAD. YOU JUST SPOKE BEFORE ME. RIGHT. SURE.

I HAVE A NAME FOR MY SOLO BAND. DO YOU?

YEAH, I DO. MINE'S CALLED THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.

THAT WAS MY NAME. I KNOW, BUT I LIKED IT AND YOU'RE NOT USING IT.

THEY'RE ALL MY IDEAS ANYWAY. YOU CAN'T HAVE CHOCOLATE FACTORY FOR FREE, MELISSA.

THAT'S MINE. YOU DON'T OWN IT.

I COPYRIGHTED IT. I MAILED IT TO MYSELF.

AS SOON AS YOU SEND ME THE PAPERWORK, I WILL BELIEVE YOU. YOU'RE A HUGE BITCH.

LET'S WRAP THIS UP. I REALLY HAVE TO GO.

RIGHT. SO WE'RE SETTLED. I'M OUT AND MELISSA'S OUT.

WE'RE EACH PURSUING OUR OWN SOLO BANDS.

BRENDON, ARE YOU STILL IN OR YOU WANT TO GET OUT? I HAVE TO GO.

WELL, ARE YOU GONNA DO A SOLO PROJECT OR NOT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO. ALL RIGHT.

BRENDON, WAIT. BEFORE YOU GO... YES?

SHOULD WE GET BACK TOGETHER?

MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL TALK ABOUT IT. OH, BOY!

♪♪WHOOPS! OKAY, UH, WHOOPS!

Y'ALL BETTER BE QUIET 'CAUSE I CAN'T CONCENTRATE. WHOOPS.

OH, COME ON, BRENDON.

HEY, DUANE, WHERE'S YOUR GUITAR?

HOW'RE YOU GONNA COMPETE WITHOUT YOUR GUITAR?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, GO UP THERE AND SING?

HEY, I'M DUANE. HERE'S MY SOLO.

♪ WEEDLY-WEEDLY-WEE ♪ GOOD NIGHT!

♪♪

OH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. I WASN'T FINISHED.

OH, WHEW!

SORRY I WAS LATE. HERE. WAIT.

BE GOOD TO HER, DUANE. BE GOOD TO HER.

♪♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER

FOR OUR NEXT COMPETITOR, DANA.

DUANE.

♪♪

♪♪

STUPID RENTAL PIECE OF CRAP!

GEEZ!

♪♪

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE JUDGES HAVE TALLIED THEIR VOTES

AND WE DO INDEED HAVE A WINNER.

THIRD PLACE GOES TO MR. FINGERS.

I'M SORRY, UH, FINGER MASTER.

SECOND PLACE GOES TO PAULY FRETSTEIN.

AND FINALLY, FIRST PLACE GOES TO

JIMMY MONET!

YOU WERE ROBBED, MAN. I DON'T CARE.

WHATEVER. THAT GUY'S A JERK.

YOU WERE ROBBED, DUANE. I WAS ROBBED ONCE.

IN SEVENTH GRADE, SOME GIRL CLEANED OUT MY LOCKER.

BUT I GOT HER BACK. I POISONED HER.

YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE WON, DUANE.

YOUR PIECE WAS WAY MORE MUSICAL.

SEE, DUANE, I TOLD YOU. SO?

BESIDES, JIMMY'S SWEEP ARPEGGIOS WERE REALLY SLOPPY.

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SWEEP ARPEGGIOS?

I KNOW A LOT ABOUT GUITAR. OH.

DID YOU NOTICE WHEN I DID THAT STRING SKIPPING LINK?

THAT WAS AWESOME! I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT SLOWED DOWN.

I'LL SHOW YOU WHEN I GET MY GUITAR BACK FROM MY DAD.

YOUR DAD TOOK YOUR GUITAR AWAY? YEAH.

MY DAD TOOK MY STEREO AWAY. WOW, 'CAUSE OF GRADES?

NO, HE TOOK IT AWAY BECAUSE I SET SOME PAINT ON FIRE. OH.

WELL, I HAD BAD GRADES.

GUYS, I'M GONNA SPLIT. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

HEY, ARE YOU HUNGRY? YEAH.

YOU WANT TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT? SURE.

WITH ME? YEAH, I HAVE $1.57 AND I ALSO HAVE A NICKEL.

THAT'S COOL.

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ WHOO-WHOO! ♪ ♪ WOW-WOW! ♪

♪ WHOO-WHOO! ♪ ♪ PARTY! ♪

♪ WHOO-WHOO! ♪ ♪ WHAT'S GOIN' ON? ♪

♪ YEAH YEAH! ♪ ♪ ROCK 'N' ROLL! ♪

OKAY, I LOVE YOU, BRENDON, BUT I HATE THIS SONG.

IF I HEAR IT AGAIN, I'LL DIVORCE YOU. TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY THINK.

I HAVE TO CONFESS SOMETHING, BRENDON. I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.

I SOLD YOUR GUITAR. YOU DID?

YES. MOM, THAT WAS A RENTAL.

IT WAS? YEAH.

HUH. WELL, I FORGIVE YOU. I'M A TERRIBLE MUSICIAN, MOM.

AND COMBINED WITH JASON AND MELISSA WE MIGHT BE THE WORST BAND EVER.

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. OH.

UM, MOM, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEAVE THE ROOM.

WHY? OH!

♪ FREAKY! ♪

NO WAY, BRENDON. I'M NOT DOIN' IT.

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ COME ON! ♪ OUTTIE ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

♪ FREAKY! ♪ ♪ OUTTIE! ♪

YEAH! YEAH!

THAT'S MY SON.

HEY, MOM, YOU'RE IN THE BAND.