Original subtitles

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♪♪

HOT DAY, EH, MASON?

YEAH. REAL HOT. HOT AS THEY COME.

HOTTER THAN YESTERDAY AND THE DAY BEFORE THAT AND THE DAY BEFORE THAT.

IT'S LIKE EVERY DAY WE STAY HERE, IT GETS HOTTER.

HOTTER AND HOTTER. HOTTER.

HOTTER.

WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE, HUH?

YOU MEAN OUT OF THE FARM? OUT OF THE HEAT. OUT OF THIS LIFE.

OUT OF THE FARM! WHEN ARE WE GONNA DAMN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?

LISTEN. THE OLD MAN, IF HE WASN'T SICK, IT'D BE DIFFERENT.

THE OLD MAN! THE OLD MAN!

AAH!

OKAY, GUYS. THAT WAS THE ORIGINAL SHOOT WE DID THREE MONTHS AGO.

NOW HERE'S THE RESHOOT WE DID YESTERDAY. OKAY.

WHEW, IT'S HOT OUT HERE, EH, MASON?

YEP.

DON'T GET MUCH HOTTER THAN THIS, DO IT?

NO, IT "DO-N'T."

HOTTER THAN ALL THE DAYS. HOTTER THAN ALL THE NIGHTS.

IT'S STILL DAMNED HOT.

MAKES ME HUNGRY JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THE HEAT.

MAKES ME HUNGRY HOT!

DAMN HUNGRY HOT.

DAMN CHIPS.

NEED SOME HELP THERE? I CAN'T SEEM TO GET A PROPER HANDFUL.

OH, WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR SWEATY HANDS ALL OVER THE CHIPS?

GRANTED IT'S A DIFFERENT TAKE FROM WHAT WE DID,

BUT HERE'S WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

UM, I LIKED THAT. I THOUGHT IT WAS WAY MORE REAL.

YEAH, AND YOU KNOW, WE COULD SPLICE 'EM TOGETHER.

WE CAN'T SPLICE THEM TOGETHER. DON'T YOU SEE THE GLARING CONTINUITY PROBLEM?

OH, THE LIGHTING? IT'S NOT SO BAD. I'M A BIG FAN OF NATURAL LIGHT.

GUYS, IT'S NOT THE LIGHTING. THIS PROBLEM IS BIGGER.

YOU KNOW, WIDER.

IT IS SHOCKING.

IT'S SHOCKING THE VARIETY OF CHIPS YOU CAN GET TODAY.

CAN YOU PUT DOWN THE CHIPS?

I REALLY AM NOT BOTHERED BY THE LIGHTING DIFFERENCE.

IT'S A FATTER PROBLEM.

YOU SEE WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS?

MOM? HMM?

I WANT YOU TO SQUINT YOUR EYES AND STAND BACK A LITTLE BIT.

HAVE I GOTTEN REALLY, REALLY FAT?

NO. NO, YOU'RE NOT TOO FAT. OH, GEEZ.

YOU'RE GROWING, BRENDON. YOU'RE AT THAT AGE WHERE YOU'RE A GROWING BOY.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN FEEDING ME?

I'VE BEEN FEEDING YOU THE SAME THING I'VE BEEN FEEDING MYSELF.

AND DO I LOOK FAT? I'M NOT FAT.

NO... WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?

BY "NO?"

NO, BY "NO..."

I WAS GONNA SAY I DON'T THINK YOU'VE GOTTEN MUCH FATTER.

IT'S THAT WORDING AGAIN BRENDON.

MOM, SERIOUSLY, FROM DOWN HERE YOU LOOK GIGANTIC.

BUT THAT'S 'CAUSE I'M SMALL.

WELCOME TO THE FAT CLUB, BRENDON.

NO. YES.

YOU AND ME. FAT CLUB MEMBERS.

NO. NO?

NO. NOTHIN' WRONG WITH IT. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR SIZE.

THE FIRST WAY OF DEALING WITH YOUR FAT IS ADMITTING IT. NOW SAY IT, FATSO.

NO, YOU SAY IT. ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE FAT.

AND YOU'RE GETTING FATTER. IT'S AMAZING. I LOVE IT.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. SO I'M FAT. BIG DEAL.

WELL, YOU PASSED THE FIRST STEP, BRENDON.

THE NEXT QUESTION YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF IS HOW DOES BEING FAT WORK FOR ME?

WELL? I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, IT MAKES YOU FUNNIER. EVERYBODY LOVES A FAT GUY. THEY'RE FUNNY.

I WOULD HAVE TO GET REALLY FAT, WOULDN'T I, TO GET REALLY FUNNY?

NO, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO BE A LITTLE DUMPY, WHICH IS WHAT I WOULD CALL YOU.

I'M DUMPY. YEAH, THAT'S PHASE ONE.

OKAY. THERE'S ABOUT EIGHT PHASES.

IT STARTS FROM DUMPY, THEN IT GOES TO FRUMPY, THEN IT GOES TO FAT.

SIX PHASES OF FAT. I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT A SCIENTIST.

I'M JUST SAYING YOU GET FATTER AND FATTER. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.

YOU START THE CYCLE AND THEN YOU DON'T STOP. MM-HMM.

ISN'T IT LIKE TOTALLY UNHEALTHY? SO?

ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT THIS, BRENDON? YEAH.

SOME GIRLS LIKE FAT GUYS 'CAUSE THEIR FATHERS WERE FAT, RIGHT? RIGHT.

SO YOU PLAY ON THAT. IT'S THE FAT FATHER SYNDROME.

IT'S THE FFS.

FAT FATHER SYNDROME. YEAH.

GIRLS HAVE FAT FATHERS, ALL RIGHT? MM-HMM.

SO WHEN YOU'RE FAT, YOU REMIND GIRLS OF THEIR FATHER.

RIGHT. DONE DEAL.

♪♪

GEEZ. LOOK HOW FAT I GOT. WOW.

STILL FAT. OOH!

OH, I'M FAT.

BOYS, YOU HAVE BOTH PUT ON A GREAT DEAL OF WEIGHT IN A VERY SHORT TIME.

TELL US SOMETHING WE DON'T KNOW, SWEETIE.

I CAN HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT.

I THINK WE'D BETTER PUT YOU TWO ON A DIET.

OUT OF THE QUESTION.

NO MORE JUNK FOOD, AND GOING TO GYM CLASS AND EXERCISING.

NO. NO. YES. YES.

YES. NO. NO. NO.

AND IT'LL TAKE A WHILE TO LOSE THE WEIGHT. NO, NURSE. NO!

BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES.

WAIT. I WANT TO SEE AN ACCREDITED PHYSICIAN.

JASON, WE CAN GO TO A DOCTOR THAT CAN DO THIS OVERNIGHT. YEAH.

A DOCTOR WILL TELL YOU THE SAME THING. EATING HEALTHY AND...

WRONG! WRONG!

OKAY, LISTEN, JASON... DEAD WRONG!

I JUST WANT YOU TWO TO BE HEALTHY. YOUR WORDS MEAN NOTHING TO ME!

ALL RIGHT.

BRENDON. YES?

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO FOLLOW MY LEAD,

I WILL BE WALKING OUT OF HERE. OKAY.

NURSE, YOU WILL CERTAINLY BE HEARING FROM US AGAIN.

OKAY. YEAH, GET READY FOR THE BIGGEST LAWSUIT

YOU'LL EVER IMAGINE, LADY, LADY, LADY.

OKAY.

HAVIN' LUNCH THERE. YUP.

WHAT ARE YOU, UH... WHAT ARE YOU HAVIN'? SALAD. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

JUST CAME IN TO GET SOME WATER, YOU KNOW? YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

RIGHT. YOU EAT PRETTY HEALTHY, HUH?

YES, I DO.

YEAH, LIKE A GOAT.

IT'S KINDA CUTE. MM.

YOU KNOW? CHEWIN' ON YOUR GREENS. MM-HMM.

BROUGHT UP THAT WAY? YOU MORMON?

NO, I JUST STARTED DOING IT ON MY OWN ONE DAY. OH.

SO WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAD? WAS HE LIKE A BIG FAT GUY?

WHAT? I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, WAS HE, LIKE,

YOU KNOW, BIG, LIKE ME?

UM, YEAH. HE WAS A LITTLE HEAVY WHEN I WAS A KID.

YEAH, I FIGURED. WHY?

HE WAS HEAVY DURING YOUR MORE IMPRESSIONABLE YEARS.

WHAT ARE YOU ASKING ME? NOTHING.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET A FEEL OF HOW FAT YOUR DAD WAS.

YEAH. WELL, I BETTER GO, YOU KNOW.

OKAY. LUNCH IS LUNCH.

I'LL SEE YOU AROUND. SEE YOU.

SEE YOU.

SO YOU WANNA GO OUT ON A DATE?

LOOK, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN DATING YOU, MCGUIRK.

WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE A DATE. REALLY?

JUST, LIKE, HANG OUT. LIKE, GO OUT, HANG OUT SOMEWHERE.

I WOULD HANG OUT WITH YOU ONLY IN A GROUP SETTING.

YOU KNOW, LIKE A FACULTY MEETING.

THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

HANGING OUT WITH A GROUP. THAT'S WHAT I LOVE.

YEAH. YEAH, I DON'T KNOW. YOU LIKE LASER TAG?

NO. PAINTBALL.

NO. THIS HAS BEEN GREAT HANGING OUT HERE. LET'S JUST... I'M GONNA HIT IT.

HOW LONG WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR MEMBERSHIP TO BE?

I DON'T KNOW. WHAT'S THE CHEAPEST POSSIBLE PLAN?

OKAY, YOU KNOW, YOU COULD DO A TWO-YEAR PACKAGE.

OKAY, HOW MUCH IS THAT PLAN?

BASIC IS $500.

400. 500.

450. WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

OKAY, HOW MUCH DOES IT COST FOR SAY, LIKE, SIX MONTHS?

SIX MONTHS? WELL... UH, YOU DON'T WANT THAT PLAN.

WHY DON'T I? WELL, 'CAUSE ON THAT PLAN YOU CAN'T USE THE POOL.

THAT'S OKAY. I DON'T WANNA USE THE POOL.

YOU CAN'T USE THE TOWELS. I'LL BRING MY OWN TOWELS FROM HOME.

YEAH, THAT PLAN ALSO RESTRICTS YOU FROM USING

OVER 80 PERCENT OF THE EXERCISE MACHINES. EVEN BETTER.

WHAT CAN I USE ON THIS PLAN? UH, FREE WEIGHTS.

THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S IT.

LYNCH. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE.

WELL, IT APPEARS AS IF YOU FOUND ME.

I JUST WANNA ASK YOU SOMETHING. WHAT?

WHY DON'T WE EVER HANG OUT, HUH?

UM, POSSIBLY BECAUSE WE HATE EACH OTHER. OH, YEAH.

LOOK, DO YOU WANNA GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME? HMM.

NO, A DOUBLE DATE, LYNCH. ALL RIGHT?

YOU, ME AND TWO WOMEN. A GROUP THING.

GOIN' OUT SOMEWHERE. HAVIN' FUN.

WAIT. FIRST OF ALL, WITH WHO? WELL, THE NURSE.

WELL, THEN WHO WOULD YOU BE TAKING? THE NURSE.

WHO WILL I TAKE THEN? I DON'T KNOW. WHAT ABOUT MRS. ADAMSON?

UH, SHE'S MARRIED. UH, "MRS."?

RIGHT. RIGHT. WELL, WHAT ABOUT WHAT'S-HER-FACE THAT DOES BIOLOGY?

OH, CAROL WHAT'S-HER-FACE? YOU MEAN THE BLONDISH, PONYTAIL...

YES. NO.

MAN, LYNCH. YOU'RE A LITTLE PICKY.

I'M NOT PICKY, I'M CHOOSY.

SO WHAT'S IT GONNA BE? THE LUNCH LADY OR THE MATH LADY?

HMM. THAT'S A GREAT CHOICE. THANK YOU.

UH, NO AND NO.

LOOK, I'LL PAY FOR DRINKS. DEAL.

OH. OH, GOD.

SO, SO GOOD.

JASON, WAIT.

JASON, WE'RE BREAKING THE DIET. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW.

I KNOW, BUT I WAS EATING HEALTHY ALL DAY UNTIL WE GOT HERE AND SNUCK FOOD OUT OF THE HOUSE.

ME TOO. I STARVED MYSELF UNTIL NOW.

NOW THE PAYOFF IS SO WORTH IT, BRENDON.

WE'RE JUST GONNA GET FATTER AND FATTER. MMM. I KNOW.

BRENDON, THE ONLY TIME I EAT A LOT IS AROUND YOU.

THE ONLY TIME I EAT A LOT IS AROUND YOU.

HUH. WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT MEANS?

I THINK IT MEANS THAT WE'RE...

I THINK WE'RE FAT ENABLERS.

WE ARE? WE CREATE A SITUATION WHERE IT'S OKAY TO EAT A LOT.

IT IS OKAY TO EAT A LOT. NO, NO. IT ISN'T. WE HAVE TO STOP.

WAIT. OKAY. OKAY, JASON, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU TO PASS ME THAT CUPCAKE,

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO GIVE IT TO ME, ALL RIGHT? OKAY.

WILL YOU PASS ME THAT CUPCAKE? HERE YOU GO. PASS ME THE CHIPS.

YEAH, HERE. THANKS.

SEE? THIS IS THE PROBLEM, JASON.

WHAT IS? IT'S US.

- THIS FAT CURSE IS-IS... - WHOOPS. EXCUSE ME.

I WAS GONNA SAY, I THINK THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK THE FAT CURSE

IS BY NEVER SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN.

OKAY, FINE. THEN WE WON'T EAT. WE'LL JUST SIT.

NO, JASON. WE WON'T.

JASON, I'M GOING TO LEAVE YOU. NO, BRENDON. NO.

WE HAVE TO LEAVE EACH OTHER. BRENDON, WAIT. WE ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER AND FOOD.

JASON, WE HAVE TO LEAVE EACH OTHER. WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

I DON'T LIKE YOU. IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU.

GOOD-BYE.

GOOD-BYE, MY SWEET FAT PRINCE.

AND LEAVE THE CHIPS. OKAY.

UH, HEY, MOM?

IS IT OKAY IF I GO HANG OUT WITH MELISSA AT THE PIZZA ARCADE TONIGHT?

WHICH ARCADE? DONALD VON CHEESINGTON'S.

MMM. GREAT PIZZA. YEAH. GREAT PLACE.

GREAT PLACE. YEAH.

YOU'RE STILL NOT HANGING OUT WITH JASON?

NO, ACTUALLY, I'M NOT.

WE HAD A PRETTY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.

LOOK AT ME. I'M BACK TO NORMAL.

WON'T IT BE TEMPTING TO BREAK YOUR DIET AT DONALD VON CHEESINGTON'S?

I'VE DEVELOPED A LOT OF SELF-CONTROL OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS, SO I THINK I'LL BE OKAY.

OH, NO. HERE COMES AN EMPLOYEE. OKAY. UH-OH.

GET OFF. GET OFF. GO HIDE IN THE LADIES' ROOM.

- MOM? - BRENDON.

I MEAN, WHO ARE YOU? HI, YOU.

HEY, YOU BETTER GO IN THE LADIES' ROOM AND LOOK FOR YOUR MOM, LITTLE KID.

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT, LYNCH.

BEFORE THE LADIES GET HERE, ALL RIGHT,

WE GOTTA GET A COUPLE THINGS STRAIGHT. MM-HMM. YEAH?

FIRST OF ALL, EVEN THOUGH THIS TECHNICALLY ISN'T A REAL DATE, BUT A GROUP OUTING,

WE STILL HAVE TO BE ON OUR TOES, ALL RIGHT? UH, YEAH, OKAY. AND...

THAT MEANS I HAVE TO COME ACROSS LOOKIN' GOOD, AND SO DO YOU 'CAUSE I BROUGHT YOU.

THAT MEANS DON'T EMBARRASS ME. THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER.

WE HAVE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER...

IN FRONT OF THE LADIES. IN FRONT OF THE LADIES.

YEAH, THAT MEANS NO TRICKS, LYNCH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

LOOK, I KNOW YOU GOT A THING FOR THE NURSE. I'M NOT STUPID. MM-HMM. YEAH?

SHE'S MY DATE TONIGHT.

EVEN THOUGH THIS IS NOT A DATE.

RIGHT. EVEN THOUGH THIS IS NOT A DATE.

LOOK, THERE'S OUR NOT-DATES RIGHT NOW. RIGHT.

SAY SOMETHING NICE TO ME.

JUST PRACTICE. UM, YOU LOOK GOOD.

SAY MY HAIR LOOKS GOOD. ALL RIGHT. YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD.

"DID YOU CHANGE YOUR HAIR? IT LOOKS NICE."

NO, I DIDN'T. I LIKE IT THIS WAY.

NO, I MEAN SAY THAT TO ME. OH.

LOOK, "OH, WHAT, DID YOU CHANGE YOUR HAIR? IT LOOKS NI..." HI.

I NEED TO REFILL THIS PRESCRIPTION. IT'S FOR MY ANXIETY DISORDER,

AND IT'S WORKING NICELY, 'CAUSE, UH, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO APPROACH YOU OTHERWISE.

UH-HUH.

OH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

YOU'RE KIND OF LIKE A DOCTOR, RIGHT?

AH, YEAH. KIND OF. DO YOU HAVE A DRUG THAT MAKES IT SO THAT

I'M NOT MADE TO FEEL INFERIOR AND REALLY CRAPPY BY GOOD-LOOKING PEOPLE

WHO ARE IN WAY BETTER SHAPE THAN ME?

UH, THE LIQUOR STORE'S ACROSS THE STREET. ALL RIGHT?

THANKS. MM-HMM.

YOU LOOK GOOD, BRENDON. REALLY?

YEAH. WELL, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, ALL I HAVE TO DO TO STAY THIS WAY

IS TO DEPRIVE MYSELF OF ANYTHING THAT I ENJOY.

GOOD FOR YOU, 'CAUSE WHATEVER YOU'RE DOIN', IT'S WORKIN'. WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HEY, YOU KNOW, WHO KNOWS? MAYBE ONE OF THESE DAYS

WE CAN EVEN GET BACK TO MAKING MOVIES, YOU KNOW, WITH JASON.

HUH? UH, YEAH, I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, LIKE, UH, MAYBE.

HEY, LET'S TURN IN THOSE TICKETS FOR SOME STUPID CRAP AT THE COUNTER.

OKAY.

WHAT SHOULD WE GET? WE COULD GET THAT PLASTIC LIZARD.

NAH, HOW ABOUT THOSE REALLY BIG SUNGLASSES?

THE COMB, BRENDON. WE SHOULD DEFINITELY GET THAT REALLY BIG COMB.

LET ME SEE. HOW ABOUT, UH...

HOW ABOUT A YO-YO?

JASON. BRENDON.

THIS PLACE DOESN'T ACTUALLY LOOK SO BAD.

I SAW COMING IN THAT THEY'RE HAVING A POETRY THING LATER ON.

YEAH, YEAH. ME AND LYNCH PICKED IT OUT, RIGHT, BUDDY?

UH, YEAH, YEAH. MCGUIRK WAS EASY TO WORK WITH WHEN IT CAME TO FINDING A PLACE.

WE REALLY GET ALONG RATHER WELL.

THAT'S RIGHT. WE ALWAYS DO, BUDDY.

HEY, YOU LOOK NICE TONIGHT. THANK YOU.

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

IS THAT A NEW OUTFIT? WELL, I GOT IT A FEW MONTHS AGO.

WELL, YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU LOOK VERY ENCHANTÉ, AS THEY SAY.

LYNCH, YOU SHOULD FIND OUT WHAT YOURS IS NAMED.

MINE? YEAH, THE GIRL. YOUR GIRL.

HIS GIRL? THE GIRL, RIGHT THERE.

HI. WHO CAN HEAR EVERYTHING YOU'RE SAYING?

YES, UH, THAT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD.

UM, AND WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS AGAIN? IT'S RUTH.

RIGHT. AND DO YOU WORK AT THE SCHOOL? UH, YEAH.

DON'T INTERROGATE HER, LYNCH. ALL RIGHT?

YOU SAID TO... WHY DON'T YOU BE POLITE?

I'M SORRY. MY FRIEND IS SO, YOU KNOW. MM-HMM.

HE'S MY FRIEND THOUGH, AND, UH, I REALLY DO ENJOY HIS COMPANY. YEAH, YEAH.

SO WHAT DO YOU DO? WHAT DO YOU DO? I'LL TAKE THIS.

WHAT DO YOU DO? I'M A TEMP.

- THAT'S GOTTA SUCK. - IT'S ALL RIGHT.

DID YOU SEE THE THING IN THE TIMES TODAY?

OH, YEAH. WHAT A DISCOVERY, HUH?

THE NASA ARTICLE? YES.

- YEAH. - COULD YOU BELIEVE THAT?

I KNOW. IT'S ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING.

YEAH, IT WAS.

THAT GUY IS A GENIUS. PRETTY SMART.

I KNOW. AND HOW OLD IS HE? HE'S YOUNG.

I THINK ONLY 25. RIGHT.

- YOUNGER, I THOUGHT. - WHAT?

- AH, MAYBE IT WAS 25. - OH.

DID YOU READ IT, MCGUIRK?

YEAH, YEAH. I MEAN,

I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT HE WAS 25 WHEN HE DID THAT.

HMM. I TELL YOU, WHEN I WAS 25, I WASN'T WORKING FOR NASA.

RIGHT.

WELL, I MEAN, PAL, I HAD A TOUGH CHILDHOOD.

I'LL TELL YOU THAT, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, MY DAD WAS FAT.

I MEAN, YOU TWO DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BUT I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

RIGHT? RIGHT.

NASA.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA BE AT DONALD VON CHEESINGTON'S.

I HAVEN'T BEEN COMING TO DONALD VON CHEESINGTON'S

UNTIL I WAS SURE I WAS IN CONTROL OF MY EATING.

YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. YEAH.

YOU LOOK GREAT, BY THE WAY. WELL, THANK YOU. YOU TOO. I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE.

THANKS, I GUESS. YEAH.

HEY, LOOK, THERE'S THAT, UM, PERSON I KNOW OVER THERE.

I'M GONNA GO TALK TO THEM FOR A WHILE. YOU TWO SHOULD CATCH UP.

YEAH, WE SHOULD. BYE. BYE.

GREAT. OKAY.

WOW. OH, HOLD ON, BRENDON. IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EAT AGAIN.

I'M ON THE ZONE POWER WORKOUT.

OH, I READ ABOUT THAT. HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

WELL, TAKE A SWEET LOOK. IT'S WORKING OUT JUST FINE.

HEY, YOU WANNA TRY ONE OF THESE? I SHOULDN'T. I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY CARB INTAKE.

BRENDON, READ THE BACK. THERE'S NO CARBS.

OH. MMM, THESE ARE GOOD. YEAH.

HERE. HAVE ANOTHER ONE. NAH, I SHOULDN'T. I SHOULDN'T.

BRENDON, IT'S OKAY. NAH, NO THANKS.

SO, WHAT SHOULD WE GET WITH THESE TICKETS? I DON'T KNOW.

BOY, LOOK AT ALL THAT JUNK FOOD THAT PEOPLE ARE GETTING WITH THEIR TICKETS.

IT'S SO SAD. HEY. HEY, LET'S GET SOME.

YEAH, RIGHT. LET'S GET SOME.

YEAH, LET'S GET IT AND EAT IT ALL IN, LIKE, ONE SITTING,

LIKE, YOU KNOW, WE USED TO, RIGHT?

LET'S GORGE OURSELVES UNTIL WE GET REALLY SICK.

THEN LET'S GET MORE. EAT IT UNTIL WE CAN'T WALK ANYMORE.

LET'S TURN IN ALL OUR TICKETS AND JUST GET JUNK FOOD

AND SHOVE IT IN OUR FACES YEAH.

AS FAST AS WE CAN.

BRENDON, LET'S DO THAT. YEAH, LET'S DO THAT RIGHT NOW. YEAH!

NO, BRENDON, I'M SERIOUS. YEAH, I KNOW. LET'S TOTALLY DO IT.

I'M NOT KIDDING. LET'S DO IT. OKAY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? UH, WASHING MY HANDS.

NO. OUT THERE AT THE TABLE. WHAT WAS THAT CRAP?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WELL, THE NEW YORK TIMES NASA STUFF.

JUST MAKING CONVERSATION, MCGUIRK...

OH, JUST MAKING CONVERSATION? YEAH, I WAS JUST...

MORE LIKE TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK DUMB WITH YOUR DUMB SMART CRAP.

LOOK, LOOK. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU DON'T KEEP UP WITH CURRENT EVENTS, MCGUIRK.

HEY, LYNCH. WHAT?

FIRST OF ALL, YES. I DON'T. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME BAD.

SECOND OF ALL, WE HAD A PLAN. ALL RIGHT?

AND THAT PLAN WAS TO MAKE EACH OTHER LOOK GOOD IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS.

THAT WAS OUR PLAN. RIGHT. AND GET ALONG.

THERE WASN'T ANYTHING IN THE PLAN THAT MENTIONED THAT

YOU DEVIATED FROM THE PLAN, LYNCH. ALL RIGHT? WE COULDN'T TALK...

SO YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW. OOH.

HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? OH, HI.

SO YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW. OH, THAT'S FINE.

GO JOIN NASA.

I WALK DOWN. DOWN THE STREET.

UH-HUH. HANDS IN MY POCKETS.

HELLO, NEIGHBOR. YEAH. THERE IT IS.

AH-CHOO. BLESS YOU.

I HAVE A POEM. ALL RIGHT?

HELLO.

I HAVE A POEM. HELLO!

THIS IS ONE I CALL LYNCH'S MUSTACHE.

LYNCH'S MUSTACHE LOOKS STUPID.

WHAT A DUMB IDIOT TO HAVE A MUSTACHE LIKE THAT.

WHY DON'T YOU GO WAX YOUR ASS?

GIVE ME THAT MIC.

HERE'S A HAIKU. ALL RIGHT.

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN NAMED MCGUIRK

WHO WAS FAT AND DUMB AND A JERK.

BOO. BOO! THAT SUCKED.

RUTH, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE.

VERY NICE, GUYS. SEE YOU AT WORK.

YOU'RE BOTH VERY... WAIT A MINUTE.

HOLD UP. HOLD UP. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

HEAR THIS ONE. NO, NO, NO. I GOT ONE.

MCGUIRK, HE HAS A...

HERE'S A POEM I CALL "NEW YORK TIMES."

NEW YORK TIMES. NEW YORK TIMES?

YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN US?

US? US.

U-S. U-S-A. NO WAY.

THE END.

YOU'RE AN IDIOT. THAT'S GREAT.

COULD YOU PUT THE SEAT BELT ON, PLEASE?

I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA FIT, BUT TRY THAT. PUT IT ON.

OKAY, HERE'S ONE. LYNCH HAD NO CHANCE WITH THE NURSE.

UH, SHE HAD A NICE PURSE.

OH, BOY, THAT IS THE WORSE.

HEY!

GO. OH, OKAY.

UM, MCGUIRK, UH,

RUINED EVERYTHING FOR THE EVENING BECAUSE HE STARTED...

THAT'S NOT A POEM, LYNCH.

YES, IT IS. A POEM IS ANYTHING THAT IS AN EXPRESSION OF SOMETHING ELSE.

OKAY. WATCH OUT FOR THAT POLE.

OH, BOY. OH, MY GOD.

GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GET OUT OF HERE! WE'RE HAVING A MEETING.

YOU GUYS, YOU BROKE YOUR DIETS. I KNOW. WE'RE TERRIBLE.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE NOT TERRIBLE.

OH, YEAH, MELISSA? REALLY? REALLY?

JASON. MELISSA!

JASON, WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO WEIRD?

YOU KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, DIDN'T YOU? WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?

SHE KNOWS DAMN WELL WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. DON'T YOU, MELISSA?

WHAT DOES HE MEAN? WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TELL BRENDON?

BRENDON, I... I SET UP THIS CHANCE MEETING.

I SET IT UP WITH JASON A WEEK AGO. HA!

OH. I KNEW HE WOULD BE HERE, BRENDON,

HA! AND I KNEW THAT YOU GUYS WERE FAT ENABLERS.

HA! BUT I WANTED YOU TO SEE EACH OTHER.

WHAT? I JUST COULDN'T STAND THE SEPARATION ANYMORE.

OH. THE MOVIES, BRENDON. WE HAVEN'T BEEN MAKING MOVIES.

I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I WAS THE ONE WHO SHOWED YOU HOW FAT YOU WERE.

YOU WERE PRETTY FAT, BRENDON. I KNOW.

HOW FAT BOTH OF YOU WERE.

WELL, I MEAN, I WAS SORT OF FAT TO BEGIN WITH.

BRENDON REALLY GOT FAT.

BUT YOU GOT US TOGETHER KNOWING

THAT WE WOULD MAKE EACH OTHER EAT, MELISSA.

IT WAS A CHANCE I WAS WILLING TO TAKE, AND I HOPED YOU WOULDN'T.

YOU WERE BOTH DOING SO WELL.

SHE WANTED US FAT, BRENDON. SHE WANTED US FAT! NO.

NO, I DON'T! I DON'T WANT YOU FAT! I JUST WANT US TOGETHER.

OH, GOD. I'M SORRY.

I JUST WANNA MAKE MOVIES.

I FEEL A PINCH COMIN' ON.

SURE IS HOT, HUH? HOT. HOT AND FAT.

WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET OFF THIS FARM? THIS TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE FAT FARM?

I KNOW WHEN... NEVER.

WOW, IT'S OUR BEST WORK YET, BRENDON. I KNOW.

GUYS, THAT WAS GREAT. I KNOW, I THINK WE MIGHT BE GENIUSES.

DEFINITELY GENIUSES. YOU GUYS DID SOMETHING THAT ONLY

THE FINEST ACTORS HAVE EVER DONE...

YOU PUT ON A LOT OF WEIGHT FOR A ROLE.

UM, THANKS?

ALL RIGHT, SUMO WRESTLER MOVIE, TAKE ONE.

ARRGH!

NOW, MY FAT DINNER WITH WHAT'S-HIS-FACE.

ANDRE. TAKE ONE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU BOYS THIS,

BUT YOU'RE BOTH PREGNANT.

WE ARE? OH, NO!

FAT GANDHI, TAKE TWO.

THE FIRST RULE OF FAT CLUB IS

YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FIRST RULE OF FAT CLUB.

SECOND RULE OF FAT CLUB IS, UH...

SO WHAT ARE YOU GUYS IN FOR? FREE BREAKFAST.

I'M GONNA FREE YOU, YOU FAT WHALE.

THREE FAT MEN AND A FAT BABY.

I WANT MY MOMMY.

♪♪

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