All language subtitles for Fake.S01E05

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Original subtitles

Get a grand suite if you like.

If you use your credit card... I don't have a credit card.

I refuse to pay the bloody bank fees.

You thought I wouldn't be able to pay for dinner, didn't you?

I'm sorry I doubted you.

Is Joe's unreliability a spur to your anxiety?

Or could your anxiety...

be turning small things into big dramas?

Joe, we were waiting for you.

I mean, I was really worried.

Look, I'm sorry, I was saving a boy's life.

You weren't at the front of my mind,

I'm sorry, I have to admit.

It sounds simplistic,

but you just might have to trust Joe.

I'm sorry, but you haven't met his kids yet,

you haven't been to his place.

It's like you're his dirty little secret or something.

Are your friends making you feel bad again?

He does like you, Anton.

Yes, he's invited you to his wedding.

Where's the flight details?

I only met your mum briefly,

but you're all she wanted to talk about.

I just don't know why I trusted her.

Her stories were like these perfect little three-act plays.

Eldorado.

It's a grand old house on just over 100 acres -

prime grazing land.

Maybe you can write a review of it when I buy it.

Thought I'd show you another property first.

Jacaranda.

Just in case the deal for Eldorado falls over.

I couldn't care less if you have money or not.

Are you playing me?

Oh, my God.

Joe...

What is this?

Didn't I say it was grand?

It's a beautiful property, Percy.

Thank you.

Would you mind if I showed Birdie the main bedroom?

Why didn't you tell me it was like this?

I have a disgusting amount of money.

I only care about you.

Now when I start worrying,

I just tell myself...

everything's fine.

Possible shower in the afternoon.

Around the country, Sydney, 29 degrees and cloudy.

Brisbane, a top of 31 and mostly sunny.

Perth, 32, also sunny.

Adelaide, 20 and rain in the afternoon.

Hobart has a maximum of 23, and partly cloudy.

Canberra, 27 and also partly cloudy.

Darwin, 30 degrees, rain and a possible storm.

In the regional centres,

Orange, sunny, 25 and a set of perfect days coming up.

♪ I'm a love kitten

♪ Wish I was sittin'

♪ On your lap and you were holding me

♪ Mmm, what a situation that would be

♪ Love kitten

♪ Looking for love

♪ Chase me, chase me

♪ Round and round we'll go

♪ When you catch me

♪ I will never let you go

♪ 'Cause I'm a love kitten

♪ How I wish I was gettin'

♪ All the kisses that you've got

♪ Mmm, only hope you've got a lot

♪ Love kitten

♪ Looking for a love kitten

♪ Looking for love

♪ Love

♪ I'm a kitten

♪ A love kitten

♪ Yay, yay, yay, yay

♪ Yay, yay, yay... ♪

Oh, smoked cow's udder,

rams testicles cooked in cream and single-malt whiskey

and seared fish semen.

Oh stop, I filed that months ago.

I was really hoping it wouldn't make it to print.

How do you sear a fish semen? The guys are fucking clown.

God, I can't do this for much longer.

Hang on.

I've got a feeling some good things

are going to start happening. Hm?

I'll drop Mercy at the kennels.

I'll finish some stuff off at the office.

I'll grab my suit at the dry cleaners

an you'll swing by, pick me up in Uber.

Mm-hm. Which dry cleaners?

The dinky one. South Melbourne, just near my office.

I can't believe it's tomorrow.

They've been talking about getting married for years.

Are you going to pack that shirt

that I bought you for your birthday

with the little bluebirds on it?

Perfect for a country wedding.

Are you going to tell me which undies to wear too?

Wh... While I'm at it.

Uh...

- See you soon. - Mm-hm.

Alright, Mercy. Mercy.

Come on. Let's go.

I thought you were away on your big, romantic adventure.

Yeah, I just forgot my charger.

What's with the weird vibe.

Ah, they're worried if people don't apply

for the voluntary redundancies, they'll start tapping people.

Oh! Oh, let me know what the new editor's like.

Yeah. See you Monday.

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

Hi! What's Tovey's parents' place like?

- Are you there? - Oh, it's lovely.

Well, is his sister there?

Oh, Jessa can't make it.

She's backpacking in Lisbon or Berlin

with some kind of Italian opera-singer boyfriend.

Anyway, you know Kath put you and Joe out in the guest house?

I mean, do you know that?

Yeah, well, it's the only other room with an ensuite.

- Yes? - I was expecting that... uh...

Oh, it's just, I really don't know what I'll do

- if I need to... - Well, just... go before bed.

It's just I'm up and down all night, you know.

God knows how I'll find it from the kids' room,

sharing a bunk with Rory and everything,

and, you know, lucky she wants the top.

Mum, I'm not swapping with you.

Joe and I can't sleep in bunks.

No, I never suggested that, no.

Of course a couple needs to take the guest house.

Old, single women and children are better seen and not heard.

Well, I've got to hang up now

because I've got to call an Uber.

- I'll see you soon. - I'm just making sure that...

Hi.

Hi.

- Just one bag? - Yeah. Thank you.

My family.

Ah. Beautiful kids.

All children are beautiful.

- Do you have kids? - Ah, no, no, no.

Oh. How come?

Ah... Bad luck.

Bad men. Too late.

Hi, I'm in the Uber.

We're about five minutes from your office.

Ah, hey, I'm not there.

Where are you?

Ah, there's been a change of plans.

What change?

Well, I had to drop by my bank manager's

to release the deposit for the Eldorado sale.

What?

Percy finally accepted your offer.

Mm-hmm, I told you I had a good feeling.

Deadline for the deposit's at 3pm.

Oh, well, we'll be on a flight at 3pm.

Well, hang on, I thought you'd be a bit more excited.

Oh, I... I am!

I... I am, Joe, it's just...

Oh, God, why today?

I mean, they've been dragging their feet for months.

Yeah, look, I guess he had a change of heart.

Look, I'll get a cab in about five minutes

and I'll race you to the airport.

OK. Good luck.

Alright, hey, the bank manager's just come in.

I've got to go. I'll see you there. Bye.

Oh...

Oh, sorry, just straight to the airport now.

We don't have to pick up the other passenger.

Oh, right, no problem.

Do you mind if I just finish my call?

Oh, no, no. Sure, go ahead.

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

Hi, hi. I know you're in your meeting.

I just realised it's going to be too tight for you,

so I'll pick up your suit.

There's no need to call me back.

I hope it's going well.

Sorry, can you actually just take a left

up on Park Street here?

I need to pick up something from the dry cleaner.

OK, sure. Yeah, yeah.

No, my passenger...

No, I'm in the city now.

..chewing gum.

..milkshake.

..demanding..

- Left here, yeah? - Yes, please. Park Street.

- Thanks, I'll just be a minute. - Yeah, no problem.

Hola, Gia, my little kitty.

Oh, babe, why do you sound like that?

I'm going to come see you soon.

No, I just have to drop off my last passenger.

Oh, come on... Babe.

Don't be mad with me, please.

Mi gatita, princesa, baby,

I'll come see you soon, I promise.

I can't wait to see you.

What? No, I told you I left Mishti.

Why do you keep bringing that up?

OK, well, your sister-in-law is talking shit, alright?

Because I'm just there for a few weeks

to save the rent and help her with her kids.

Yes, I know they're my kids too.

OK, it's just complicated right now, Gia, alright?

Yes, it's complicated.

OK, you're starting to sound like her now.

Gia!

Gia, please!

OK, por favor, Gia...

You ready, miss?

Oh...

- Ready? - Huh?

- Close the door. - Oh, yeah.

- Hi. - Uh, Liam's gazumped us.

He's put a last-minute offer on Eldorado.

How much?

Eh, he's blown it up by an extra million bucks.

Miss, seatbelt, please.

Oh...

Oh, no.

Yeah, so I'm gonna have to see my business partner,

see if I can move some money around.

Oh, no, Joe, you're gonna be late.

Hey, hang on, I said I'll be there.

Look... Look, I'm sorry. I'm stressed.

I need to find 100K to make up the deposit shortfall by 3pm,

otherwise we're gonna lose Eldorado.

Have you got another 100K?

Yes, yes, of course I've got it,

but it's tied up in a trust with Olivia and Harry,

and Mary's making it difficult to access.

I can't get a bridging loan from the bank until 9am tomorrow.

Oh, my God.

Well, there must be something we can do.

I don't want to lose Eldorado.

Yeah, well, I think we'd better brace ourselves

for that eventuality.

Unless you can magic up 100K you can loan me

until 9am tomorrow,

well, then, you know, I think Liam's gonna get it.

Hey, hang on, here's my business partner.

I'll call you back in a sec.

W-Wait, Joe, are you gonna make the flight?

You alright?

Oh, yeah, thanks. I just got some very bad news.

Oh. Me too.

- Paulie! Hey, brother. - How are you, man?

- I've been ringing all day. - Yeah, yeah.

I can't really talk right now, man. I've got a passenger.

Have you seen my girl Gia?

No, I haven't heard from Gia.

Gia?

No, sh... She wouldn't do that. No, I doubt it, Paulie.

You probably just need to give her some space, man.

..girls are like, man.

- Treat 'em mean... - Keep 'em keen.

Don't share that stuff around, man.

Listen to me, Paulie... Listen, Paulie...

deep level, you know what I mean?

Can't expect Gia to be, like, ALL those things, man.

No, I think you're alright, yeah.

Oh, fuck you, Pocket Pixie!

Expensive.

Don't have caviar every day.

Bye, my bro.

Alright, man, I gotta go.

VicBank,

the bank for every Victorian.

Whatever future you're saving for,

we're right there with you.

Your call is important to us...

Hi, you've reached VicBank. My name is Amy.

How can I help you today?

Oh, hi. Yeah... I've just transferred some money

from my microshares account,

and it says it's gonna take two to three business days to clear.

I don't understand.

Is there anything I can do to expedite the process?

Sorry, transfers from your microshares platform

will clear on Monday at the earliest.

Is there anything I can do to get that money today?

No, transfers from non-linked platforms

take at least 48 hours.

Is there anything else I can help you with today?

What's the turnover on a personal loan?

The bank's approvals on personal loans

is very fast, usually within 24 hours.

OK. Thanks.

Miss, seatbelt, please. We're on the highway.

Oh... OK.

- Birdie? - Hey, Peggy.

- Miss me already? - I might do.

- How's the trip? - Yeah, I'm just on my way.

Um, hey, Peggy, if I was to take one of the redundancies at work,

how quickly do you think I'd get the money?

What? And, no, that's a ridiculous idea.

It's a terrible offer.

Yeah, no, just hypothetically.

Hypothetically, you could negotiate it for next payroll,

but, mainly, get fucked. Are you insane?

We have one of the last secure jobs in a dying industry.

Do you have any idea what it's like for women

out there at the moment?

A fast-track to join the middle-class,

middle-aged, menopausal, unemployed.

It's a fucking bloodbath.

OK, sure.

Th... Thanks. I've got to go.

Can you just forget work for a minute?

Enjoy your sexy weekend away. I'm jealous.

- Yeah, I will. - Is everything OK?

Yeah, I've just got to go.

- OK, catch you later. - Bye.

Hi, you've reached Anton at the Falconer.

I'm probably at the bar,

so leave a message or come down and buy me a drink.

Anton, it's me. Can you call me back?

It's urgent.

I was just wondering if I could borrow back, um,

the grand that I gave you for the flowers.

I just... I just need some cash flow.

Um...

I can go straight to the florist at 9am tomorrow and pay them.

I just need the money today, by 3pm,

if you can.

Um...

I'm on a flight in 30 minutes,

and I need it before then.

Sorry.

Shit.

Fuck.

Yeah, I'm going to put my seatbelt on.

Hi, Mum.

Hey, a bunch of musicians have turned up.

They can't play a tune between them.

I think they're sleeping in vans,

playing their bong-bongs.

Mum, I need to ask a big favour.

- I'm on the way to the airport. - Oh, yeah?

Can I borrow some money until tomorrow?

Yeah, how much? What for?

- 40 grand. - What the fuck?

I can pay you back by 9am.

I just can't get it out of my bank quick enough.

Oh, my God! What have you done?

The sale for Eldorado is going through today at 3pm.

But that happened months ago.

I thought that had all gone up in smoke.

Yeah, so did I. But now it's suddenly back on,

and there's another bidder.

Joe and I have got to find

another $100,000 for the deposit,

or we'll lose the property.

Doesn't your millionaire boyfriend have that?

He does, yes, but it's tied up in a trust for his children.

There's the divorce, the ex-wife. It's complicated.

It's really boring, darling. Just go on, yeah.

If you can transfer me the money,

I'll have it back in your account tomorrow.

Listen, the toilet is a LONG way down the hall

from the bunk room.

I'm just worried about,

you know, waking Rory when I turn the light on.

You can have the guest room. I don't care.

I mean, Joe and I can have the sofa bed.

Oh, no, no, no. I would never ask you to do that.

You didn't, and Joe will be fine with the sofa.

He's... He's a bushman at heart.

OK, so, listen, I don't have 40 grand,

but I have got a little bit I put aside for some solar panels,

but I need it back in the account the next day.

I need it in there tomorrow,

because the solar man's coming next week.

How much is it?

- It's $20,000. - For solar panels?

- Did you ring around? - Of course I rang around.

Can you get Tovey's dad to drive you into the bank?

Oh, Christ. It's 10 minutes into town.

You'll make it if you go now.

Oh, well, if you get me off the phone, I can, yeah.

OK, OK, go.

- Mum? - Hmm?

Thank you. It means a lot.

Yeah, well, just remember this

when it's time to put me in a nursing home,

and put me in a bloody fancy one,

and do not give me chocolates,

because I hear that the nurses steal them all,

and you've got to watch me eat them

and then take the rest home.

- Promise. - OK.

- Go. - Yeah, well, I'm going!

I'm going! You go first.

Thanks.

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you when I can.

Joe, I got you 70 grand.

$50 from my book account,

and $20 from Mum, on loan.

I had to do a deal with the devil to get it,

But it'll be in my account in 20 minutes.

I know it's not the full 100K

but it's got to count for something, right?

I just want to help.

I just...

Just call me back as soon as you've finished your meeting

and send me your bank account details.

I'll transfer the money.

Gia.

Gia, escuchame.

No te creo.

OK, yeah, I left her already. I told you.

I promise.

Te lo prometo.

Por favor, Gia. Gia!

- Oh. - Sorry.

Ma'am, you should be a bit more careful, you know?

There's a lot of scammers out there these days.

Oh, no...

Oh, this? No, this is not a money scam.

My partner's buying a property.

It's just complicated.

Oh, right.

I can totally understand why that sounded weird, though.

He's got a lot of money, my partner.

He's quite wealthy, so...

Oh?

Good for you.

Hi.

You're totally off your tree.

Birdie, you're seriously squeezing

me, Tovey, and your mum

to bankroll your boyfriend's stupid mansion,

the day before my wedding,

and we've already bought the flowers from the farm.

Alright, alright, just don't worry about it.

I AM worried about it, Birdie, because this...

it all seems crazy, don't you think?

I mean, what exactly are you trying to do?

- I'm... - What's your plan?

I'm trying, Anton.

I'm trying to... trying save my fucking future.

OK, so how? Talk me through that. How?

It's not a stupid mansion.

That was going to be our home.

Oh, I didn't mean to say stupid, Birdie.

I'm stressed here.

I'm waiting for the champagne guy to come.

The marquee's been put up in the wrong place.

Honestly, I've got...

You three never want to come to my flat.

- That is bullshit. - There's always an excuse.

Our place is just bigger. Absolute bullshit.

You don't know what it feels like!

You've always had someone.

I don't come home to anyone.

Wow.

Jesus, I'm sorry. Sorry.

I'm acting crazy. I am crazy.

I'm just, I'm fucking...

I...

I'll pull myself together.

No, I'm sorry, Birdie.

I haven't been the best friend sometimes.

Oh, don't... Don't feel sorry for me.

- How much do you need? - 30 grand.

Even with your thousand, it doesn't make a difference.

I can't do it. Just... Just don't worry about it.

Do you trust Joe?

Oh!

Yes, I do.

Are you sure you want to lend him 30K?

Because... that's a lot. That's huge.

I just know, in 10 years' time,

none of this is going to matter.

I'm going to have to go. Joe might call.

Hang on, just give me a sec.

I just need to talk to Tovey.

Hang on.

You there?

Anton, I'm fine.

Just... I'm sorry. I'm so...

stressed out of my mind I can't think straight.

I can give you a line of credit

from the Falconers account if it's just until tomorrow.

OK, Birds?

I'll borrow it from my payroll account

and you boomerang it back before Friday or we're...

we're sunk, so...

Oh, it's too much. You don't have to.

Shut up before I change my mind, OK?

I know you've...

I know you've struggled with the love stuff.

You helped me find out who I was, so, um, yeah.

Not straight?

Yes.

Oh... And now I'm getting married

to someone I've loved for so long

and... ..you're a part of that,

so...

If I can help you have something too,

I mean, I want to.

Love you, Birds.

I love you too.

Text me your bank details and I'll make the transfer.

- I'll see you soon. - OK.

- Bye. - Bye.

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

Joe, I got my 100K.

I got the money.

Call me back as soon as you're finished with the bank manager.

Oh, thanks, babe, for the thought,

but save your pennies.

I'm doing some soul searching,

and I've decided not to go through with Eldorado.

I don't want to go down the path of ego.

I need to get back to Walden and the simple life.

I put an offer on Jacaranda instead.

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

Joe, Jacaranda doesn't have a house on it.

W... Are you still coming?

Miss, you OK?

Sorry.

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you...

Jesus! Don't understand.

- Mum. - What's going on?

I'm standing in the bank. What's your account number?

- Do you want this money or not? - Mum, I'm sorry.

I don't... I don't need it anymore.

- What? - We had to let Eldorado go.

You let it go?

I came all the way to town for nothing?

I mean, I was having drinks!

What the fuck, Mum?

Jet Sky's Flight JS481 to Orange

has commenced boarding from Gate 1.

We are welcoming passengers from rows 15 to 21 first,

then 1 to 14 will be boarding shortly afterwards...

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

You're making me crazy, Joe.

Excise me, my partner, uh, we were on this plane together.

He's just running late.

Can you see on there whether he's checked in online?

- What name is the booking under?

Joe Burt.

Uh...

He booked the seat next to me, the middle seat next to me,

about a month ago.

I'm sorry.

If the booking's not in your name,

I can't give out passenger details

- due to privacy regulations. - Oh.

Could you, just this once?

Because I need to know whether he's coming or not.

Is the seat next to mine booked?

And has that person checked in?

The flight is fully booked.

Maybe you should try calling your partner?

Yeah, right. Fuck off.

I'm sorry.

Apologies, the overhead lockers are full,

- but I can take that for you. - Oh.

Excuse me.

- I'll take that for you? - No.

No?

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

I'm... I'm on the plane now.

Joe, they're about to close the doors.

Where are you?

Why won't you tell me what's going on?

- Hey. - Hey.

Would you mind moving your...

Oh, that seat's taken.

No, I'm... I'm 21B.

See?

My partner's 21B.

He's coming.

No, my work booked it months ago.

I always fly back row. It's the...

Safest seat on the plane.

Nervous flyers unite.

Uh, I'll show you the email.

It's just a bit of a mix-up, so why don't you check...

Can I help?

The lady's waiting for her partner,

who's also booked on 21B.

He's just late.

No, this is correct. Entire flight's booked out.

Everyone's boarded, so please take your seats.

- Can I hang this for you? - No.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Cabin crew, please prepare for gate departure.

Arm doors and cross check.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign

and we are now preparing for take-off.

Please ensure that your seatbelt is...

..plane as a boat,

and turbulence is just air currents, like waves.

It's normal to get bashed around...

Do you mind if we don't chat?

Hi, you've reached Joe Burt.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

They've shut the doors now.

I'm going alone, aren't I?

Wh...?

None of it makes sense!

Why couldn't you just call me?

Device on flight mode, please,

and your bag just under the seat in front.

Have you even booked?

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