All language subtitles for Deadpool And Wolverine 2024 [1080p x264 HDTS [English AAC] xDark [MoviesUp]

[Music] down

that logo music just gets you pumped right I'm
sorry I just I'm excited to be here it's been

a while you know for a long time I wasn't sure
I'd ever be back Disney bought Fox there was a

whole boring rights issue blahy blahy blah
but then it turned out they wanted me the

one guy who shouldn't even have his own movie
watch last a franchise Marvel so stupid look

we know the tile of this thing so I know what
you're wondering how are we going to do this

without dishonoring Logan's memory and I'll
tell you how we're not I'm going to let you

in on a little secret Wolverine is not dead
sure it made for a perfect ending to a very

sad story but that's not how regenerative healing
factors work you think I want to be out here in

beautiful Downtown North Dakota digging up the
one and only Wolverine no thank you but the fate

of my entire world is in stink he may not be
living his best life but he sure as hell ain't

dead Bingo

YSI yes yes yes yes

yes D it son of a [ __ ]

[Applause]

mother [ __ ] my world as [ __ ] that was weird
I'm much calmer now look I'm not a man of science

but you seem incredibly passed [Music] away
but it's good to see him I got to be honest

I've always wanted to ride with you log you
and me getting into a Deadpool and Wolverine

just [ __ ] [ __ ] up can you imagine the fun the
chaos the residuals good day mate there's nothing

that'll Bring Me Back To Life faster than a
big bag of Marvel cash me too Hugh no no no

no oh yeah they get all Noble and die for real
God damn it I could really use your help right

[Music]

now I'm warning you I'm not alone blade
Winston Wilson you are under arrest by the

time variance Authority for too many crimes
come outt death by day player last chance

throw out your weapons and come out peacefully I'm
not going to give you my weapons but I promise not

to use them there are 206 bones in the human body
207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl here we go [Music]

maximum okay peut guess we're
getting that team up after all

[Music]

make it alone I know that I can't take

no more no I don't want to see
you [Music] door crazy no Li me

[Music]

more I want to see you out that door baby

[Music]

I don't want to be in this
game for you so I you [Music]

crazy

[Music]

I am soing wet right [Music] now to be
clear I'm not proud of any of this the

want and violence the whiff of necrophilia
it isn't who I am it isn't who I want to be

who I want to be well to help you
understand that I got to take you

back a little Joy Ride I took through space
and time today the day that changed [Music]

[Music] everything I can't believe I'm finally
here I waited for this moment for so long thank

you sir for seeing me I I firmly believe
that my services could be of great use to

your organization now I know I I was caught
smash debating in the lobby of Stark Towers

I can assure you that I'm sorry what was that
no I'm sorry uh that that's uh when you get

uh those toy Hulk Hands right and then you just
you look down you just you brace yourself and you

ravage the midsection I get it okay thank you the
pictures painted you get them gist uh what exactly

brings you here today why am um wow okay uh I I
care I know I turn everything into a joke but I

I care and I want to use that feeling
for something important I want to

matter need to show my girl that I M her and um
you know I feel like I'm wasting the good stuff

here is is the man not going to be joining us the
man yeah I should save this if he's G to as as far

as you're concerned right now I'm the man no the
man is me I am the man in this circumstance and he

said he doesn't do this kind of thing anymore
cameos meetings meetings entry level meetings

entry level aren't you the Chau I maybe common
misconception I did begin my career as Mr Stark's

driver quickly pivoted to the head of security the
had of course yes yes yes yes and why I am vetting

your resume you seem to have left out whether or
not you had any experience as a member of a team

could you maybe add a little bit of perspective
there no yes of course I I was special forces uh

but I was mainly I was team leader founder really
of exforce sadly they they all perished in action

how exactly did that happen well the police say
gravity but if just between us they didn't test

well in the focus group particularly cable oh look
I I I can see the system going well please stop

writing look I I I'm just I want to be an Avenger
I want to be an Avenger why do you want to be an

advenger to look around you I mean they're the
they're the best of the best and and what they do

matters I need to be an Avenger certain my girl is
uh kind of had it with my stick and I if I don't

you know turn things around and do something with
my gifts I don't think it's going to really work

out for me and I I wouldn't blame her aventures
are a a a very unique group of superheroes that

stand for something more than just fighting and
wearing costumes I mean people look up to us kids

look up to us I'm sorry us I wasn't aware that you
were an adventure Avengers adjacent technically

what's your superpower is it parallel parking
I'm so sorry that was cruel I lash out when

I'm nervous it won't happen again let's cut to
the chase please you just said moments ago that

you wanted to be an Avenger because you needed
yes sir I do but the Avengers don't do the job

because they need it they do the job because
people need them do you see the distinction

yes sir Please Mr Hogan I don't want to spend
the rest of my life like an annoying one trick

pony all right oh my God you're standing
yeah now's the time that we stand damn it

the problem might be that you're reaching
a little little too high aim for the middle

and you'll never miss right I think you got
a good heart I believe what you're saying

but not everybody's the world saving type
I'm not I'm happy right I found my place

find your place all right get back out
there we'll keep an eye on you good

luck fetch the car I want to hit Shake Shack
rejection makes me hungry no no please okay

thank you you know what they say when one
door closes your locker at work opens [Music]

now let's go sell some certified pre-owned
vehicles [Music] mother technically the the

carnival is not a minivan it's an MPV so how
does the Kia compare to the Honda Odyssey The

Odyssey that's a great question um
it doesn't [ __ ] suck you know you

can answer the question without swearing
I'm sorry Tammy I don't I don't have kids

not that I haven't dreamt to that
but I don't have a lot of vaginal

sex you'll get it next time pal and look you can
always go back to superheroing I mean I know I'd

like to see you back in the suit and I don't keep
it in my locker so that I can wear it keep it in

my locker in case we need to saddle up again hey
hey hey what is you doing in there I'm done I'm

done and I'm fine with being done look is sales
the best match probably not is this the life that

I always imagined for myself [ __ ] no this is
the right fit for me Sugarberry it is okay Mr

Wilson I'm just saying once a month we could
go on a little Mission we're human beings we

create purpose after all we're Deadpool please
stop saying that we're not Deadpool I'm not even

Deadpool anymore well if you're going to have a
bent like Crisis go big a few years ago a friend

of mine got his nipples pierced with a titanium
chain that goes down and attaches to his Van

Johnson are are you feeling Grumple stilt skin
cuz it's your birthday [Music] what surprise hey

you guys are lucky on not arm get in here 6 years
ago you'd all be dead so then he gets out of the

cab and you will not believe it I turn around
and what do I find a come on crazy story Every

Time come on pleas go make a new sales today you
know I didn't did you sell any dream catchers on

Etsy or whatever it is that you do I run to do
in 3 days wait I can't keep carrying relax I

have the money I sold some old blood pressure
medication I found lying around you trying to

kill me [ __ ] I'm not the one ding everything
in salt [ __ ] I pray every day that fire finds

your body and finishes the job God didn't
have the nuts to do that's hurtful if you

could hear the look on my face you'd smell
how sad I am you watch anything good Great

British bov oh godamn that sh stood between me
and suicide for 10 years those are my feelings

on abortion religious freedom animal rights
privacy rights vaccines free market capitalism

global climate change no no speaking let spot
hi you hi W nice fake o clock Shadow it's a

summer balage from the French it's meant to
mimic the natural highlights of the sun it's

a tad it's a hair system I love your hair
system we thank you want to do some cocaine

hey cocaine is the one thing that FY said is
off liit what about Bolivian mching P they

know all the slang terms they have a list even
snowboarding even disco dust white girl interrupt

even Forest bump I wouldn't even try powdered guts
Do You Want to Build a Snowman yes I can't pole

here what happened that's the fun part thanks for
coming yeah how's it work oh I got a promotion no

way yeah it's my numbing middle management but I'm
happy that's great I see um yeah a guy from work

derit derit he's kind good likes to go hiking
hasn't gotten me shot yet well it's the early

days how about you you seeing anyone no no I
live in a one vom apartment Sher bed with blind

Al all right all right happy

bir okay okay okay uh birthdays boy uh every
spin around the Moon is a new adventure indeed

son dumbass okay round earther where was I
the adventure of life right um it's been a

challenging few years I haven't seen you guys in
a while been through a lot uh change of life anuse

[ __ ] are you improving M I'm sorry sorry
that you had to see that yu- yeah okay yeah

but I'm happy you know that's because of each
and every one of you guess what I'm trying to

say is how proud I am how grateful I am to be
standing in a room with every single person I

love I'm luckiest man in life make a
wish buddy 10 four good buddy going

down we Wilson oh yeah dancers do Pender must
have voted you are those supposed to be cop

costumes Never mind take your clothes off
but leave the helmets and this isn't pretty

woman we're kissing right which song do you guys
normally dance to who whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa is

that supposed to be scary pegging isn't new for
me friendo but it is for Disney look I've never

been a natural thought of it so we're going to
take things real slow and I want some crazy eye

contact not you you can't see your eyes through
the mask but I can feel them we're going to move

on down the hallway so we can spare a clean up
on aisle [ __ ] how's everyone feel about this

plan I don't like you yes let's hold on to that
attitude and we're going to do it Angry [Music]

[Music]

Mr Wilson you appear to have soiled yourself
while unconscious I was unconscious who are

you I go by the name of paradox Mr Paradox
and you're sitting here at the TVA the time

variance Authority we're really a watch dog
organization except we're more light-hearted

than that sounds with sort of throwback ironic
twist and we're in charge of Defending what's

known as the sacred timeline holy [ __ ]
that is a [ __ ] ton of exposition for AAL

is this because I used Cable's time machine
brought a couple of people back to life then

I destroyed it that was a long time ago
yes we're aware of your abuse of your

timeline you are so abusive of it uh no it has
nothing to do with that walk with me [Music]

I brought you here Mr Wilson to tell you
that you're special in fact you've been

chosen for a higher purpose a purpose unclear
even to me but one that could save the entire

sacred timeline from a possibly Grizzly fate
sometime in the future which may very well

need to be Avenged the sacred time line I
assume I'm going to Marvel at how cinematic

it feels gratuitous cameos indiscriminate
use of variant the whole package you tell

[Music] me you are no longer l wait you can be a
hero among Heroes we've been surveilling you for

quite a while subway station with TV post yes
and what is that H is that me is that Thor is

he crying H let's not get ahead of ourselves
uh that happens in the distant future why is

Thor crying quick you not speak to her stop
that eyes on me I brought you here to offer

you an opportunity the opportunity you sought
years ago but for which you were not ready we

believe you're ready now ready for a chance
to leave your timeline and join the greatest

Universe of all I'm about to give you the
thing you've always wanted I smell what

you're stepping in the power in the Marvel
universe is about to change forever I am the

Messiah I am Marvel Jesus excuse me she over here

suck it Fox the bo Disneyland get

[ __ ] where do I sign ohen for paperwork good

not to brag but I do not read
there is one thing I will need

[Music] though [ __ ] off Adorn me deardo

[Music] [ __ ] a it's perfect FYI your Taylor is
a predator but I love it snug no camel toe new

car smell and adamantium katanas you shouldn't
go ahead take it in and yes your underwear is

getting tighter that guy knows what I'm talking
about his cloes say middle management but his

eyes say [ __ ] [ __ ] yes you look very nice
nice your buddy here is ready to throw it all

away from me you calling your wife HR is your
wife working HR I'm really glad you're taking

this so well oh I'm taking it well I have never
had a problem traveling for work that said we

should talk vacation days I'm more of a onee on
one week off kind of guy I think it's what they

do in Denmark you know you'll never see a Danish
flag in the moon but God damn it they're happy now

let's power up your little Amazon fir phone there
and uh zent me back home so I can let my friends

know that they've been upgraded to disciples yeah
I didn't think you quite understand um you will

not be returning to your home because there will
be no home to return to come again this time in my

ears this is your Universe Mr Wilson
that is what happens when a universe

loses their anchor being see how it decays
from the inside this is how a reality dies

what's an anchor being an anchor being
is an entity of such vital importance

that when they die their whole world slowly
Withers out of existence you've just won the

lottery because I didn't die it's just
a little midlife crisis I'm better know

oh my god oh I love to laugh can you
imagine if you were the anchor being

yeah no it isn't you Mr Wilson your anchor
being died in an act of self-sacrifice so

epic that it sent shivers down the timeline I
am referring of course to Logan The Wolverine

don't be

[Music]

want this is what it feels like Logan of [Music]

course Logan the guy with
forks for hands that Wolverine

yeah I got it you can turn your retro Graphics
of death off now make it stop we're not doing

it Mr Wilson we certainly can't stop it how long
have we got in most cases couple thousand years

well sweet most cases aren't fast enough
all for me what does that mean it means

that I have been tasked with overseeing
the end of your universe and regardless

of what the pencil pushes upstairs would prefer
I will not waste my life watching it die slowly

natural causes we used to just prune these
things simple elegant efficient but I'm told

the TVA doesn't like to do that anymore well I do
and no matter what my so-called superiors say the

Multiverse does not need a babysitter we need a
mercy killer and in this instance ah am the mercy

[Music] killer what in the McGuffin is
that that's a Time Ripper Mr Wilson an

accelerant once completed it will allow me
to destroy the space-time Matrix of your

Universe you see I don't want to work for
the TVA I want to be the TVA and the first

step involves showing this organization
how much more efficient it can become to

it I will be giving your Universe a Swift
and compassionate end and don't worry your

friends won't feel a thing it'll be over
just like this oh what's that trust me

you're going to Old Yeller my [ __ ] Universe
in your Palance yes two in the heart one in the

head look Mr Wilson you have two choices
you can either rejoin your loved ones and

collectively cease to exist in I'd say
72 hours or you join the sacred timeline

and you end your days of insignificance and
mediocrity wait wait you could finally finally

matter that's all I've ever really want I know I
know and you know I'm I'm nothing if not morally

flexible y yep I'll do it Wise Choice sacred
timeline's happy to have you he talking about

finding the Wolverine and breaking your [ __ ]
[Music] nose [Music] forever find him find him and

boy did he ever which brings us back to this the
desecration of the Sacred [Music] corpse my [ __ ]

arm now

talking sorry wolverin is hard
it stop mangle [Music] try you

SI [ __ ] moving was a hero and the only
thing worth a [ __ ] to ever come out of

[Music] Canada get my country's name out
of your [ __ ] mouth and my sword give me

that oh I got to find me another Logan and a live
one don't get up guys I'll SC myself out [Music]

I'm going to need you to come with me who's
asking look at this little hairy ltin did you

stick The Landing with guy yes you did comic
accurate short King such a cute Widow W be C

the [ __ ] Montage baby boy everything seems to
be on fire you have a dragon o you have anchor

being written all [Music] over we talking oh
yeah that's the whole God damn package right

there outing I'm just AUD I'm auditioning anchor
beans oh that's going to need some coconut [Music]

oil [ __ ] are you okay oh yes yes
plastic John burn Brown and tan now

you bought the Hulk in this outfit no I'm
Marvel Jesus you dull creature and I want

[Music] it's not you we're just going in a
different [Music] direction from behind you

look a little bit like Henry oh my [ __ ] the
caval the Legends are true and may I say Sir on

behalf of all Humanity this just feels right
we will treat you so much better than those

[ __ ] [ __ ] down the street you were just leave
him no sir not while the fate of my universe is

[Music] this one looks promising down you go
again I told you you're not welcome here you're

not welcome anywhere now get the [ __ ] out of
my bar just give me one more drink and then I'll

leave that's not how it works it does now leave
the bottle I know you bub nope but I know you

everybody knows me I'm the Wolverine yes you are
and I'm in need you to come with me right now look

lady I'm not interested really getting into your
guts why would I go with you because unfortunately

I need you and even more unfortunately my entire
world needs you you two going to [ __ ] or

fight you going to take that from him
yep I can tell you if I sort of don't

get too close I'll only Break Your Heart by
going here but every other Wolverine would

would really hurt me by now and I'm sort
of on the tick tick so Upsy Daisy here we

go oh whiskey dick of the claws it's quite
common in Wolverines over 40 you don't want

this you're right I don't and you don't
want this unless you want to take a deep

breath through your [ __ ] forehead I
suggest you reconsider let's go [Music]

peanut hold hold on watch it all right that's blue

easy good God thirsty little
honey badger aren't you it's

okay keep going audiences
are accustomed to long run

times I guess you'll have to do okay
here we oh look at those jammies

that only took 20 [ __ ] years one anchor be
coming right up on your left baby girl this

Logan is the same he can do anything even
musical look bonus he's actually wearing a

costume like he's not embarrassed to be in a
superhero movie for once I don't understand

you said my universe is dying because
this sack of nuts got himself killed

well problem solved like God you actually
think you can replace an anchor me with this

I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine BT
dubs but you have outdone yourself and brought me

the worst Wolverine what do you mean the worst one
Mr Wilson this Wolverine let down his entire world

he's the stuff of Legend but not in the good way
and what he did well some things are just beyond

forgiveness okay how do I how do I make this
right I can I'll do anything I gave you a

chance and greatness because my superiors
deemed you special clearly not special in

a good way apparently you have some important
future purpose to serve with Thor he holds me

but I did my duty I gave you the opportunity to
be somebody and instead of accepting my offering

with humility and gratitude you broke my nose
it looks great and you decimated dozens of my

men with the exuded corpse of a hero dishonoring
not only his remains but his memory what are you

the internet your world is dying thank you very
much and there's no stopping it the human thing

to do is to make it quick is the thought of
vaporizing my universe making you peckish I'm

meing my feelings I'm about to lose everything
that I've ever cared about because that hairy

[ __ ] from down underc finally dies and he's
standing right behind me isn't he welcome to MCU

by the way you're joining at a bit of a low
Point that's for you I want to talk to your

boss I want you to get him on the phone and you
tell him her or them that Marvel h Christ isn't

playing holy [ __ ] I just heard a symphony of
butth holes clenching all at once you're off

grid your bosses don't know what you sick
[ __ ] are doing down here well I'll tell

you what I have a black belt in Karen and I'm
going to go upstairs and I'm going to tell them

all about you silence is nice where the [ __ ]
did he go to the trash he you'll fit right in

that was [Music]
[Music]

[Music] close don't just stand there you
ape give me a hand up nope I'm okay thank

you where the hell are we I don't know looks

kind of mad Maxi but that would
be IP infringement right [ __ ]

jokes are you even listed back there we don't
make it back to that Mr Paradox [ __ ] everyone

I know is going to die not my [ __ ] problem was
that all you got is that what you said when your

world went to [ __ ] come again yeah I heard
all about you and you screwed up everything

you should be thanking me for pulling out of
that bed you [ __ ] in you backst son of a

[ __ ] are you ready to be calm

now rest in pie

[Music]

I don't want to fight you peanut doesn't matter

what you did I just need your
help I don't [ __ ] care [Music]

[ __ ] this is going to

hurt all right [ __ ] it let's get
the people what they came for let's

[ __ ] go get your spectral sock
out nerds it's going to get good

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

this

got [Music]

you see you grow your [ __ ] head back I can fix
it I can fix it what whatever it is that you did

whatever made you so bad those those Pricks in the
TVA you heard them they have the power to end my

universe but they also have the power to change
yours we get back there and we can fix your world

together I promise they can fix it hey we fight
each other we lose dear God it's him who the one

the superhero equivalent to comfort food or Molly
white guys answer to all the disappointments and

another aister fair warning gorgeous you're
going to encounter some indelicate language

a smidge of ass play but we've been prohibited
from using cocaine on camera they're coming who's

they they're driving angry [Music]

now that's a superhero [Music]

ly I got this [Music]

stay close Captain you got this Sandra
is going to be giddy when she sees what

we caught can't run everybody knows that
you see anyone running dick for brains

you're not going to love what happens
next oh my God oh my God oh my God he's

going to say it oh my God he's going to
say it say what Avengers sorry what now

[Music]

oh

[ __ ] we don't know that guy thought
we did I know you holy [ __ ] Sabertooth

your brother ready to die wait wait wait
wait wait it's time you look ridiculous

people have waited decades for this fight
it's not going to be easy maybe N Shoot

the double take him down side control then
full Mount and you ground and pound till

he makes no sound because he's dead shut the
[ __ ] up oh my God okay good luck I'm a huge

[Music] fan what is it girl
is there trouble at the well

big trouble behold the head of your
precious Queen furiosa I have the

Wolverine I alone control her you come
for me you come for her so sorry I know

it's pronounced him I'm gender blind it's
my cross demair who's next toad you're up

[Music]

[Music]

uhoh got him

under how long was I asleep
not all of you was asleep no

we're very thorough you know where we are
start talking you're in the void think of

it as Purgatory Reed called it a metaphysical
junkyard where anything useless goes before it

gets annihilated forever and where the TVA sends
people that don't play nice with the rest of the

Multiverse like you and you what does the
annihilating elath elith is in this thing

from Loki season 1 episode 5 everyone here's on
the run from elith most don't make it there's a

resistance though other people like us that manage
to survive they're hiding out in the Borderlands

trying to find a way the [ __ ] out of here and
that's where we go we us a team the answer is yes

shakeer [ __ ] you're nicked just got to tip
with your little steak Knife these others can

help us get back to the TVA they can fix things
something funny bub she might have something

to say about that who's she in the void you're
either food for elith or you work for her [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

huh all red finally aged oh you must
be this your's Juggernaut thank you I'd

keep your voices down she don't like
the chatter she's going to love you

[Music]

Charles hey hey Chuck that's not Chuck a [ __ ]
oh AEL is a great that's not going to go over

well with the woke mob a wolverine I wondered
when I'd get one of you you're one of Xavier

you you know him you know Chuck oh I knew him we
shared a wound tried to strangle the sly little

fellow with my umbilical cord amen I've never
loved roommates mine's blind except she could

see cocaine for some reason you want to chime in
your majesty I'm dying here who are you Charles

Xavier's twin Cassandra Nova I was an anal birth
you two are cute I have a good feeling about

this and I've been trying to catch this little
Firefly for years haven't I Johnny no you picked

the wrong time to make new friends oh Johnny
told us all about you maybe shut up now yeah

maybe don't just talking here yeah Johnny told
us you're a psychotic megalomaniacal [ __ ] his

word's not mine hell bent on domination
and pain you said all that about me no no

I eyes mixing Stones Johnny I'll let her
intimidate you like you said in the Convoy this

fingerlicking dead inside pixie slab of Third Rate
dim store nutmilk can eat your delicious cinnamon

ring and kick rocks all the way to Bald H I have
never said any of those words in my entire life

the modesty people think I'm a [ __ ] talker
but this guy next level this wait I don't even

know what half of that means this I my hats off
to you sir truly this I didn't P that I I I I

don't not my favorite Chris stupid piece
of [ __ ] you just got him [ __ ] killed

hey we're all grieving he asked me know what he
was doing to the budget elath is hungry there's

been some kind of mistake big yellow is a
backup anchor being and I Marvel Jesus MJ

if you're nasty this may be hard to hear but
there's another British villain he's going to

destroy my universe and I'm going to stop him
oh honey you don't really strike me as a world

saving [Music] type did I hit to loveer I didn't
want it to come to this either you help us well

my friend here is going to sing the entire second
active music man with zero warm-up where did you

get the chair once in a while I do get a child
you here never mind no no he didn't care to find

me j z they trauma bragging can't you just
stuff it down turn it into accomplishment

or cancer like the rest of us but I'm not like
the rest of you except maybe the Wolverine now

we could be truly terrifying together you're that
scary huh the TVA certainly thought so they sent

me here before I could walk and you know it was
the best thing that ever happened to me I love it

here you live in a garbage dump I think we both
know who lives in the garbage dump the void is a

paradise I can wield my power Here Without Shame
unfortunately I had no Charles Exavier to teach me

temples what about your child did he protect you
did he make you feel safe we're mutant we're never

[Music] safe who who who who whoa who
I I don't want the smoke I don't have

any beef with you I just want to
save my friends I just I want to

go home well the thing is I could get
you home good but I don't want to not

good what do you want Wade Wilson
I fingers are inside me but not in

a good way my brother could enter one's
mind with a for I have to get my hands

dirty of course

[Music]

you're not here I'm right here no you're
not I can't I'm right here show me you

got to do something show you what show
me you care about something bigger than

you ever since they turned you down you
took a knee baby you never got back up

I know you're going through something let me
go through it with you your crazy matches my

crazy where'd you go I

do you just say it okay say I
don't want you I don't want to

be with you go ahead say it say say
I don't say it you don't want to be

with me tell me that and I'll walk
away say I don't want on [Music]

you you'll never [ __ ]

matter what you'll never [ __ ]

[Music] matter you

[ __ ] she never said that no but I bet she
thought it you are so mean my brain could

taste your fingers if they taste it like
hate and we in God's name is the intimacy

coordinator you're so lost Mr Wilson and
long before you came here this is baby

knife she's going to [ __ ] you in the face
now if you want to kill me is going to take

more than a little blade how about six my boy
Wicked Strong that's my big boy you [Music]

are well this has been fun but the
big guy needs to eat and the rent his

du by the way you're the rent

[Music]

[Music]

coming to what coming

[Music]

what you thinking about get the [ __ ]
off of me almost done almost done what

getting my knife out of your buttocks [ __ ]
go get your mind out of my pants I'm telling

Blake new rules I talk now that's going to be
very hard on the audience shut the [ __ ] up

let me [ __ ] think we got to get back to Paradox
right right there you an excuse am I allowed to

speak now just nod [ __ ] right then we find
the others that poor kid Johnny was talking

about before you got him killed poor kid he's
like 50 if there's a chance they know how to get

out of here we find them make those TVA [ __ ]
fix my [ __ ] like you [ __ ] promised I smell

Quest I smell food

so what made you finally wear an honest
to God costume mine's red so they can't

see me bleed but I can see how
yellow would be useful too have

you been checked for ADHD mm but I've had
several STDs which were probably caused by

ADHD what are you looking for oh [ __ ] no
no no no no no no that's robbing alcohol

you don't want to drink o yep there
you go [ __ ] that liver good okay

what the [ __ ] are those oh back in
civilian life I wear a toue but nobody

knows everybody knows want to talk about what's

haunting you or should we wait for
a third act flashback uh go [ __ ]

yourself you know

in my world you're uh you're well regarded yeah
well not in mine they don't like me much either

you don't say wanted to be something you know
[ __ ] I wanted to be an Avenger [ __ ] the

adventurers you know I didn't make the cut though
same with the X-Men my girlfriend left man I you

had a girlfriend yeah Vanessa when we met she was
a danc answer made a whole life was good but oh

boy I just [ __ ] that right up for you you were
an X-Men [ __ ] that you were the X-Men you the

Wolverine was a hero in my world
you well he ain't [ __ ] in mine

you said Logan was a hero what happened he
died how well technically you were chest

[ __ ] by a tree but really he just ran out
of batteries trying to save someone who the

[ __ ] heels that grew her in a lab called
her x23 but she was just a kid a younger

daintier somehow meaner version of you he
died trying to save her it was beautiful

look Miho I know you're hurting my blind elderly
African-American roommate blind Al always says

that pain teaches us who we are sometimes we
need to listen to that pain instead of running

from it holy [ __ ] she's no no no that's
her name you call her blind ow well she's

[Music] blind never se you looking so lovely
as you did tonight I've never seen you shine so

Bri lady

[Music] anded is Dancing with

me nobody here look at you she's coming with us no
she's not oh yes she is [ __ ] oh yes sorry about

that come here girl who are you I'm Deadpool and
I guess you're Deadpool too but in here everybody

calls me nice pool oh my goodness way do you see
Lady pool she is gorgeous she just had a baby too

and can't even tell I don't think you're supposed
to say that that's okay I identify as a feminist

right are those goldplated 50 caliber Desert
Eagle pistol arrows of course to match my ear

Huggy can I have her Over My Dead Body you're fun
and I guess you've already met Mary puppins aka

dog pool careful where you put your hand she's 90%
G-spot she'll let you know it you let this little

flirt out of your sight for one second and she
starts shopping for a new Papa if you can't be a

responsible pet owner then maybe you don't deserve
this little unicorn guilty on all charges you H it

sh happen again why are you so nice well it costs
nothing to be kind shutting the [ __ ] up is also

free G this is Logan he's usually shirtless but
he's let himself go since the divorce where's your

mask come on guys oh this guy we're
looking for a group of survivors oh

they're out there yeah but MK to MK you
better hope that you don't run into the

Deadpool core yeah they're crazy they
will chop you up into a thousand pieces

and hide you all over the void they could
only process their childhood trauma they'

on one heck of a healing Journey look we're
headed for the Borderlands you know where it

is border yeah that's 12 clicks du West I can
lend you my ride if you like it would be my

honor oh no no no no no no absolutely not uh-uh
what the no no just get in the car this isn't a

car this is a Honda [ __ ] Odyssey throttle
response sucks a [ __ ] dated infotainment

system when Honda saw that untreated cyia
was making a comeback they invented the Honda

Odyssey to compete get in the [ __ ] car
he'll get you there safe and sound well

Betsy always does you're going to have to
give me my dog back though I know listen

yes child if you ever want to give her up
or if she needs a new home or if something

should happen to you I'd love to be her
papa what would ever happen to me lots of

stuff no we're running away
don't the corn was too dense girl

[Music] [ __ ]

[Music] fwh know you are but [Music]

okay I'm just going to ask what's with the suit
first thing I did when I flamed out I took mine

off drop it it's not that ugly stop talking
about you make it yourself been there quit

now the X-Men make you wear it those sons of
[ __ ] [ __ ] they are not your friends I'll

tell you that friends don't let friends leave
the house looking like they fight crime for the

Los Angeles Rams shut the [ __ ] up about this
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa watch your frown lines

angel baby I'm just trying to bond a little
bit well then talk about something else fine

[Music]

stop it if they can fix your world what's the
first thing you're going to do when you get

out of here some rubbing alcohol shots maybe
a wiper fluid Chaser what did you say so when

you get back what the first thing you're going
to do no no no before that y they can fix your

world what do you mean if I mean him you don't
have a [ __ ] clue if they can help me fixings

do you no I mean no [ __ ] [ __ ] I didn't lie
you lied no I made an educated wish because I

need you this this is why right here cuz if
we don't do something they die I don't know

anything about saving worlds and why would
I even care because my entire world is right

here in this picture it's only nine people and
I have no idea how to save it alone I know how

to [ __ ] people up for money but you you
know how to save them at least the other

Wolverine did I guess I'm stuck with the worst
one did you say you made an educated [ __ ] wish

they call me the MC with the mouth they don't
call me truthful Timmy the blow job queen of

Saskatoon one more word please give me

one gubinatorial

you know what you're a [ __ ] joke no wonder the
Avengers didn't take you or the X-Men I they take

[ __ ] anyone I mean you are a ridiculous immature
half wit [ __ ] I have never met a sadder more

attention starve jabbering little prick in my
entire life and that says a lot because I've been

alive for more than 200 [ __ ] years I'll tell
you that ball chick was right about one thing you

will never save the world you couldn't even save a
relationship with a goddamn stripper [ __ ] I wish

I could say you die alone but it's one of the best
jokes that you can't die except that's on all of

us well you got nothing to say

I'm going to fight you

now oh are

[Music] [Applause] [Music] you you

[Music] the you Dirty

[Music] Bit heart

[Music]

no no no no

[Music] I take it all back the
Honda Odyssey [ __ ] hard too bad

you don't needle dick oh we're
just getting started B [Music]

[Music]

let go

[Music]

it's where are we no clue
but I like it here [Music]

[Music]

w

[Music]

okay look at you all you must be the others
terrific so just to refresh you are Wonder

elra Electra yes who could forget and you I
was not expecting to see you here thought you

were you know retired [ __ ] retired I'm
already in the void I'm not trying to get

canceled again I don't like you you never did
and who's this succulent reminder of my own

inadequacies look at you you look like the
superhero version of Hawkeye the name is REM

Lao you call me it's been a while since I've
seen Sling Blade hit me again they call me the

G do they are you sure you didn't just really
really want them to but it never quite worked

out you know we never had a wolverine up
in here but I can tell you now it's just a

common courtesy to ask before you drink up all
of my lier that's a good thing I don't give a

[ __ ] so embarrassing well now that that's
look we we came a long way to find you three

there's four of us there's four wait is it
Magneto dear sweet God in heaven let it be

Magneto because with him [ __ ] now Disney
Gets cheap it's like Pinocchio jammed his

face in my ass and started lying like crazy
oh you nasty not a single word what do you do

exactly charge of playing cards I make
him go boom your powers close up magic

that's good we're not totally [ __ ] at all
so who who brought us here that would be me

don't make me regret it holy [ __ ] Logan
that's her that's x23 she's the one I told you

about how how how did you all get
stuck in the void there was a knock

at the door TVA SD me here me too maybe I
was born here says I didn't know for sure

DBA decided our universe was dying and
I never even got a chance to fight for

it People Like Us don't go quietly TBA knows
that so they took us out the answer is yes I'm

in in what a team me you you and me all of us
together let's get the [ __ ] out of this place

don't listen to him he's a [ __ ] liar it was an
educated wish look we've been inside Cassandra's l

there the only way out of the Void is through
her she can get us home she told us wait a

minute you've been inside and you made it out
alive [ __ ] nobody's ever done that we did

every time one of us has gone up against
her they die The Punisher the Quicksilver

the Daredevil Daredevil I'm so sorry it's fine
okay even a sweet baby angel Johnny Stone you

have been going missing like what two days
ago that's so sad whoever this Johnny fella

is I'm sure he's thriving look there's there's
strength and numbers all right us plus you guys

we can put Cassandra over our knee and force
her to let us out of the Void I know what it

means to feel self-doubt I don't feel that at
all I'm good gwing at your gut like a coked up

tapework it's like you're holding up a mirror
to my soul you guys may not have been able to

save your universes but you can avenge them it's
what Johnny would have wanted wait you knew Johnny

oh yeah to get here talk to me into a team up and
Johnny came down with a little case of the de no

no no no we don't know that it was just a flesh
wound he may have survived if he survived that he

is praying for death thank you Dr Wolverine spill
it what you do to Johnny huh talk I'm going to

stop eing okay okay hey hey hey look he ran his
fat ass mouth about Cassandra and she zip Zapped

his skin leaving his organs to Splash crudely
under the ground while the soil greedily drank

his blood it was horrible he was like a brother to
me look he died before he could make a difference

but maybe you couldn't save your worlds but but
Jesus Christ you can save mine I don't give a

[ __ ] about your world but if these two made
it out of their alive maybe together we can get

back in and take her down where I come from we
call that suicide sh if we can block her psychic

powers we can get a leg up I know it now I know
Magneto's dead but I'd venture to Guess that his

helmet is lying around here somewhere Cassandra
melt today helmet [ __ ] after she killed him

[ __ ] you don't play she knows that helmet was
the only way to protect anyone from her powers the

only other helmet that's strong is juggernauts but
he works for Cassandra juggernauts helmet that's

it yeah we don't be knowing that ain't coming off
without that Dome going to come off with I'm so

sorry beautiful I want this to be gentle who is
your dialect coach the minions I feel like we're

missing critical Exposition here I'm sick of this
[ __ ] sick of hiding let face it our world forgot

about us wouldn't never learned about us the
heroes we were lives you saved or wanted to save

maybe these two are our chance to be remembered
the way we deserve yes and empty Legacy yes yes

let this man cook this is what I'm talking about
big slow motion fight sad music everybody working

together who knows if you live or die that sort
of thing who's ready I was born ready yeah damn it

I ain't know my daddy but I'm sure I shot out
of his dick ready Jesus Christ that is graphic

yeah he was laying them buttery nuts all up in my
mama and I shot out there and I said what's up do

Johnny must have loved you x23 what's it going to
be the name's Laura let's [ __ ] go let's [ __ ]

go so let chicken and C yeah we're doing this
they're all [ __ ] dead my God read the room

hey hey I'm not looking for company out
of here you remind me of him angry drunk

mean sounds like a great guy finished showed
up when it mattered the most couldn't help

it you might not know it but you're a good man

you might not know but apparently I'm the
worst Logan I got to have a life because of

you I got to grow up because of you a lot
of kids did a lot of kids didn't grow up

because of me trust me kid I'm no hero
that suit says different really like it

Scott used to beg me to word so
did Jean storm Beast all of them

I wanted me to be part of the team that
I wouldn't told him they I look [ __ ]

ridiculous I couldn't have
been thinking I wanted to be

there and then one day while I was
off on my own the humans came and

went mutant hunting I can guess the rest
no no let me say and I I need to say

it by the time I stumbled home
[ __ ] face from the bar it was too

late they were dead every

this suits all I got to remind
me of who they were what I

[Music] did we're headed to
cassander said some have fun now my

fight we won't pull it S without [Music]

you hey whoever you think I am you got the wrong

guy you were always the wrong guy

[Music]

[Music]

what elath didn't get them Sandra wanted to
play with them herself first they got away

did they find the others no good all right the
others found them oh very cute well done pyro

classic bait and switch you really got me there
relax get to come after Nova she'll handle it

Cassandra is a lunatic Wild Card why do you
think we put her there in the first place and

dod's never chosen to leave the void the time
Ripper is hours away from completion I cannot

take any chances maybe not but I can for a price
why do you have to say it in that silly voice

it's so icky you want it done or not all right
your price take her out oh mutants bring them

out bring them out bring them out bring them out
it's hard to yell when the B rails in your mouth

[Music]

see them big them hands come Clos they not a
one enough inside what Gambit's trying to say

is getting juggernaut's helmet ain't going
to be easy I just fing stuff off with this

yeah tilt up to BL [Music] get that little
beauty punishers 84 which Punisher there's

been like five of them there only been one
blade only ever going to be one blade [Music]

[Music]

I

[Music]

[Music]

oh this is going to be good you know how long
I've been waiting for this woo I'm about to

make a name for myself out here I don't think
you guys walk away from this you just make sure

people know what happened here today when
you get out of here you have a drink for me

yeah just stay out six and get inside we'll make
sure you get the package and we'll get our ending

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

ready

[Music]

some [ __ ] still trying to
ice skate up here [Music]

you two escaping I could live with but coming
back willingly boys are so silly I just need to

get home well that's not on the menu I'm afraid
it's death or enslavement alak cart of course up

to finally it's nice to give someone
else a chance to talk that my [Music]

[Music] strong shouldn't have done that

[Music]

you are an interesting one aren't you I
do feel like you get lost behind all of

his Deadpools are a DI a dozen here
in the void but you what's going on in

[Music]

here interesting not what
I expected back here find

theer you're hiding from them
from all the ones you let

down so much

pain I walked away they called after me

and I walked away I always do I
know that's not all you did is

it you found them the X-Men

dad SP like wood what did you

do I started killing and I couldn't stop I
didn't want to stop all those bad [Music]

men it's not just the bad ones my little

animal I turn the whole world against the [Music]

Xmen just once I want to be
the man that Charles thought

I was l in the void you can be what you are

I just want to be free I can set you

[Music] free I can silence all those

voices I've got you I've got you no I got

you get it you're going to send us home but
I'm going to twist your [ __ ] head off why

are you laughing I can't send you home unless
you get this thing off my head and as soon as

you do that I'm going to boil your brains n a
I level whilst flicking my bean to the enop Box

head there an En box set either you kill me or
I kill you both wonderful options you want me

to do it no I'll do it I have her neck right here
it's really no problem you'll screw it up oh come

on Mr PG-13 EX at the last one what the [ __ ]
you have no idea what it's like day after day

shovel the [ __ ] fetch the meats I have spent my
entire ex not everyone gets a speech she's going

to die okay hey hey if I take this helmet off
do you promise you won't kill us F I promise I

will kill you first then why are you like this
I wish I knew take it off what take it off why

just take it off this is our only chance to fix
our [ __ ] take it off I am wearing this suit and

that means a lot of things but most of all it
means I'm an ex-man and I know your brother as

much as I'm going to [ __ ] kill you every bone
in my body wants to [ __ ] kill you he would

not let me stand here and watch you die take
your hands off this is fam this is for Charles

[Music]

don't you dare to me like

joh my brother loved you he loved all of

us must be nice he would have loved you

too if he knew about you

if he knew where you were he would have torn
a hole in the [ __ ] Universe to bring you

home this is mine then at least let us save

[Music] his you want to hear something
crazy an AM aure magician rolled through

here a while back I killed him
of course we a skin around for 4

days but I found this little
trinket on his lovely fingers

strange waral Sparkle Circle what is that this
is your way home I do owe you for saving my life

but let's keep things interesting I'd say
You have about 4 seconds before your Li f

you I'll be seeing you in all the old
familiar places that [Music] this all day

through in that small Cafe [Music] the across
the way the [Music] children the chest Dre the

wishing I'll be seeing you in every lovely Su I'll
find you in the morning and sun and when the night

is I'll be looking at the

moon but I'll be seeing [Music] you warrant
glad you gave us a second chance and don't worry

Wade and I are a team so I'll see he gets half

to that feels like a Kia that's [ __ ]
keia Carnival isn't it oh holy [ __ ]

that's Deadpool that's waren you damn straight
it is Fox killed him Disney brought him back

they're going to make him do this till he's 90
go I'll clock you out forever forever [Music]

wakey [Music] wakey now you put all these
bullets in my belly and I'm going to find

out why I'll just say it you don't have to stick
your fingers in me Jesus just ask sometimes fine

really Hands In Pockets I Paradox he said he
get me out of the Void oh he knows he works

for the TVA TVA we had an agreement I don't
think this guy cares huh he will hey people

how much longer before the time Ripper is active
we're running the final safety checks oh okay all

right thanks for all your hard work Ralph
take your time really no you drooling boob

no we have company cancel the safety checks
we need to be live now oh I hate you so much

no ST piss off you're too late [ __ ] done
why was Thor crying how dare you no one comes

back from the point tell that to Cassandra
[Music] NOA Paradox we have a [Music] problem

Paradox well you are doer then you looked in P's
head you tried to kill me I literally have no you

come the king you better kill the K oh welcome
to the skull [ __ ] Club Paradox you know she

doesn't wash that hands what's this the time
reer no dear boy oh no we're on it we're going

to head down and dismantle that thing now we
got you boo you just keep playing those keys

I don't want to destroy it I want to use it
now shoot Mommy and Daddy are having a [Music]

conversation you know the funny thing I was
happy in the void you sent your trash to me

Li I cleaned it up everyone was happy and
you had to go and piss on my side of the

fence so now the fence must come down I'm
going to use your little time reer and I'm

going to destroy this universe and the next
and the next and the next until all that's

left is the F and I get to play God come
on now you're going to show me how to use

this fancy Gadget of RS and don't worry I've
called some friends to make sure we're not

Disturbed sorry to bother Madam
but there's something you need

to see we're getting indications of an
unsanctioned time Ripper activating on

earth5 who district is that [Music]

[Music]

Paradox thank you so much for your help darling
God good to get out of that head woo what a

mess stop let's give it going to beat for
the ex to clear go go go go go oh my [Music]

God oh my

God love is good could this be

[Music]

sound close

let feel girl we have to be a part ever ever
again never ever [ __ ] it's Cafe Gratitude

doing here sorry about that tremble
not sweet ber puppins I'll handle him

come here girl Papa's here hey do not insult
this animal's autonomy she could decide who

her papa is what's it going to be girl huh
original recipe or van milder here Ah that's

funny I can gently tap the fourth wall too
The Proposal what the [ __ ] was that [ __ ]

you think that's what I do both you shut up
you smell something yeah you a lot of you

[Music]

told you there are a lot of Deadpools
over [Music] there that's bad

[Music]

I take it they're not friendly goodness no sorry
about this boys Mission over cause of death 100

kill thirsty Deadpools they're dumb but they
can fight not me though I'd love to get in

the mix but I have low bone density and I have
to keep my face safe hold please oh all right

look guys Deadpool Prime here our fight isn't
with you hey when I want your opinion I'll take

Wolverine's dick out of your mouth that's kidpool
she's the dirtiest can we just be done o we're

just getting started no no no no no no with the
whole Multiverse thing it's not great it's just

been miss after Miss after Miss look the wizard
of odds did the Multiverse first and they did

it fast the gays knew it but we didn't listen
let's just take the L and move on I think it's

been steadily great since endgame what are you
talking about the Multiverse is over Sandy going

to destroy the [ __ ] out of every time y'all
can't do [ __ ] about it do you not get it if we

don't get out of the subway and stop her we all
die say the boss lady don't want no disturbance

you want to get down with the subway you got to
go through what booy time baby booy time baby

[Music] look I think I'm hit oh [ __ ]
you did that on purpose I did no such

thing listen to me gorgeous how long
does it take for you to regenerate

regenerate you really are God's perfect idiot
aren't you okay how dare you you insensitive

son of a [ __ ] how was I supposed to
know he doesn't regenerate I'm not a

Medicine Woman look a donut cart they're
practically hospitals they sell portable

triage units I'm going to get you to safety
he's not deep [Music] breath hey why are we

stopping just catching my breath what are
your legs on vacation you're dead waight

just because I'm paralyzed we all have problems
listen to me you're going to live look at be

nice you're going to live say
it going to live stay it with

me you're going to live I'm
going to live stay it louder

[Music]

hold your [Music] fire sweet little

puppy God Dam I don't think he's going to make
it God he loved his face I could taste his final

thought he was so afraid but he died a hero he
died for murder you dumb [ __ ] and all I have to

remember by are these two golded 50 caliber Desert
Eagle pistol Arrow this is for him are you ready

I get to kill a 100 years [ __ ] you I'm ready you
didn't want to see this book that's a good [Music]

girl life is a my every one must stand alone
I hear you call my name and it feels like

[Music] home holy [ __ ] you save the goodu for
special occasions killing mostly what's the wind

resistance on those [ __ ] handles sorry just a
catty [ __ ] when I'm jealous all right let's do

this maximum [Music] effort my I want to take you
midnight out I can feel your power just [Music]

I want to take [Music]

you [ __ ] I wish I would

[Music]

to me [Music] come on now I blew it after all that

the only thing you're going
to remember is that God afle

Dismount what you laughing at you little [Music]

[ __ ] I guess these ones

regenerate come on don't have
time for this let Stand Down

[Music]

this dead pools with me oh no holy
[ __ ] that's [ __ ] [Music] Peter

wait you guys know Peter you kidding
me every Deadpool has a Peter [ __ ]

Peter's a goddamn Legend in
every Dead's world [Music]

[Music]

try my peter

[Music]

oh now you're here oh well you're too late it's
all over not yet it's not well going no no no but

we're very close pal stretch folks promise quick
let's out the stakes if she steals the time R's

energy she has the power to shred the fabric of
all realities until there is nothing left but

the void how do we shut it down I don't know how
about now the mask is really intimidating huh it's

like Batman except he can move his neck okay the
Ripper is fed from a secure chamber below ground

it is powered by twin matter and antimatter feeds
converging inside the device now Cassandra Nova

is redirecting the ri's power to eliminate all
timelines starting with this one theoretically

you could stop her by short circuiting the
thieves in the chamber below one of you would

create a circuit between the two feeds then the
released power would destroy the machine but

well come on man if you're not going to swallow
spin it out whoever formed the bridge would be

annihilated I could live with that I with that
too actually you know we survive anything we're

like cockroaches not this time this is matter
and antimatter they do not play nicely with

each other when they mix in your body you will
be atomized trust the laws of physics if you

don't trust me even if you lived long enough
to make the circuit you will die down there

[Music]

[Music]

hold on hold you heard that [ __ ] upstairs
even if we pull this off we're dead permanently

that's why it's got to be me

what look man you didn't ask for any
of this you were right I lied I lied

right to your face just to get you to help me
you did you didn't lie you made an educated

wish come on you got a whole world to go back

I got nothing I got

nothing give me

this

hey I waited a long time for
this team up you know something

you're the best

[Music] Wolverine so you
had your friends for [Music]

[Music]
me open the door I can't hear you over all the

Noble sacrifice why are you [ __ ] doing this
because I'm Marvel Jesus four spot hard to

set you're [ __ ]

idot sorry I'm just stalling I think I'm
nervous about dying this should be me

say hi to my friends for me peanut what want
to be an annoying PRI put you're going to

[Music]

Dieu hey you don't need to do this I'm not doing

it cuz I need it I'm doing
it because they do [Music]

go [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

he what to make [Music]

I all my

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

The Wolverine he a hero in my world
wherever you think I am you got the

wrong guy you were always the
wrong guy till you [Music] weren't

wait wait you can finally finally [Music]

see for the first time in
my I proud [Music] where x

man I am the X-Men [Music] w

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Paradox you've been busy well somebody have
me we had some strange readings from this

location you wouldn't know anything about an
unsanctioned time River would you uh no no I

wouldn't know anything about an unsanctioned time
Ripper maybe you should ask candra Nova because I

was assured that she was safely held in the void
but no she was here and she fondled my brain how

did you let this happen you weren't involved
at all in stopping her yes yes I was but not

nearly enough not as much as the men who went
down there after her my men my friends I warned

them that they would be completely obliterated
if they went but they went anyway like like

Heroes because that's who they were

they just did what they had to do with no
concern for their own [Music] safety the

fact that we are all still standing
here is a testament to their [Music]

heroism anyway there's nothing you or I can do to
bring them back now he has risen baby girl [ __ ]

and [Music] I see me [Music] I found your new
anchor King and we're doing just fine you piece

of [ __ ] fine indeed all right what your greasy
tits away you prining [ __ ] I don't understand

how are you too Sal Al you were right one of us
would have been killed but you put a Deadpool and

a wolverine together make them hold hands while
listening to Madonna indestructible [ __ ] let's

get this Deadpool variant back to the void wait
hold on what nope actually this one's homegrown

like me he belongs here and you are Peter pool
but you can call me Peter and I hope that you do

what the [ __ ] is happening here you are under
judgment for operating an unsanctioned time Ripper

take I was just doing what you don't have the
JS to do get insent hands off it I'm grateful

Gentlemen let's hold the bows you led an Omega
Level mutant to this timeline you're welcome

and you shouldn't even be near this time welcome
and you look damn good in that suit I'm so sorry

I want to show you something something huge
that's what scoutmaster Kevin used to say do

you see that your universe is regenerating
whatever you did here you not only saved

your world you spared your timeline from
Extinction I dressed out I have a feeling

your work is only just getting started till
you're 9 wait um we we couldn't have made it

out of the Void without some help from some
people that the world kind of kind of forgot

is there any way that you could maybe find a
way to bring him home I'll see what I can do

and uh I promised my friend here that that the
TVA could undo some some pretty awful [ __ ] in

his timeline what would you say to that Chang
the past well he did help me save the world

and his past made him the man who did it there's
nothing to fix Mr Olson [Music] Logan SCH I get e

[Music]

now you know the Avengers has discovered
swarma they'd be lucky to have you

oh [ __ ] off come here my little kkin yes
it's you you're a [Music] Survivor oh all is

right in the world yes it is so what are you
going to do next I'll figure it out I always

do so I'll probably see you around

[Music] probably [Music] not see you [Music]

[Applause]
B

Logan come back about D time you holding I'm all
out of Devil's dff and I'm shaking like an angry

VI person thank you Al we have company Alia this
is this is Logan nice to meet you Logan nice to

meet you too and this little ancient anal [ __ ]
not is Mary Poppins or as I like to call her dog

pool you want to treat yourself to a little
stroke get the tongue oh my God [ __ ] right

it's like an armadillo [ __ ] the gremlin angry
Angy in a bed of garia and didn't stop till the

sun came up everyone wants to together turns
out that you don't need to be marel Jesus to

do it you just need to open your eyes look around
and if you're lucky you'll find a few friends old

friends and some new ones [Music] too give
me the [ __ ] dog talk to the girl [Music]

[Music]

you've been

busy I did it for

you even if you don't want
me I did it for you [Music]

turns out I am the world saving type
just look around this table if you

want proof the best part sometimes the
people we save they save us right back

[Music]