Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

(soft music)

- Argyle, this view is breathtaking.

- I know it's taking my breath away.

- You can see the whole city from up here.

- That's why they call it Heavenly Point, baby,

and I figured what better way to spend our anniversary.

- I can think of a better way.

- Oh, yeah.

- How about a toast?

- A toast.

- You didn't forget the wine did you?

- No, "I didn't forget the wine."

I got it right here.

But I may have forgotten the corkscrew.

- Argyle.

- Don't worry I got somethin' in the trunk that'll open it.

Argyle me.

Dip stick, wire cutters, plunger.

Plunger?

(evil laughter)

Where did I put that drill?

- If your boyfriend doesn't have the right tools, I do.

(evil laughter)

- Argyle.

Argyle.

- From now on the only name you'll call out is mine.

(evil laughter)

- Cupid.

- Hey, shorty, that's my girl.

- Not anymore (chuckling).

- Wait, my love, don't go.

- Don't worry, baby, I wasn't running after him.

- But I am out of my way, boo, Cupid.

- Blue.

- Hello.

- Hey, Blue. - Argyle.

- It's time to change your colors, True Blue.

I need Black Scorpion.

- What's wrong?

- Cupid just stole my girlfriend.

- I'm on my way.

(tense music)

(evil laughter)

- Cupid.

Come back, my love.

Cupid, come back.

(evil laughter)

(dramatic music)

(evil laughter)

- One good turn deserves another.

- Oh, no.

Oh.

We have to stop meeting like this.

- This is gonna be one messy break up.

- Lucky for me love is blind (chuckling).

(loud explosion)

- Activate arrow vacuum.

(evil laughter)

- Don't say I never gave you anything (chuckling).

- We'll meet again, Cupid.

We'll meet again.

(dramatic music)

(loud explosion)

Fire.

- [Male] In the light of day Darcy Walker is a cop.

But in the dark of night she becomes Black Scorpion.

(dramatic music)

Doing with a mask what she can't do with a badge.

- The kissing bandit known as Cupid struck again

last night surprising two picnickers at Heavenly Point.

His smoking arrows burned love burn pheromones,

which cause his victim to fall head over heels

for the first person they see,

usually the pint-sized super villain himself.

- For such a short guy Cupid sure has a long rap sheet.

You know, he's stolen over two dozen women from their dates.

- This is unbelievable.

This guy gets kissed more than I do.

- What's so unbelievable about that?

- Look, don't worry.

This Cupid's kissing spree is coming to an end.

Walker, Rafferty you're going undercover to catch him.

- Undercover as what?

- Sweethearts.

- [Steve] This is the stupidest idea the captain's ever had.

- Tell me about it.

I mean who would actually believe we're sweethearts.

- Certainly not Cupid we've been here half the night,

and he hasn't done squat.

- Well, maybe that's because

you haven't done anything either.

- Excuse me.

- Look how far away you're sitting from me.

- Well, look at how far you're sitting.

- Move closer.

- What?

- Move closer.

(soft music)

- Okay, now what?

- Put your arm around me or something.

- What?

- Come on.

- Darce.

- Look we gotta make this thing look real for Cupid come on.

- For Cupid. - Yeah.

(soft music)

- Well, isn't this romantic.

(tense music)

- Who were your watching, Medusa?

- Detective Rafferty and his so-called platonic partner.

I must have had rocks in my head

to ever believe their story.

- Uh-oh, here she goes again.

- I remember it like it was yesterday.

(soft music)

(tense tone)

- Your face.

(soft gasping)

Minerva.

Minerva.

Minerva.

(dramatic music)

You really are Medusa.

- In the flesh.

- No.

(tense music)

- Steve would've been my pet rock forever

along with every other man in this city.

But Black Scorpion stopped me from turning them

into statutes by sending me over Angel dam.

(soft groaning)

(gun cocking)

- Here's mud in your eye.

(tense music)

(hysterical screaming)

- The police thought I sank like a stone.

But I never hit rock bottom.

I escaped through a drainage tunnel

that's how I ended up here

in a place the Greek poets described as the underworld.

- Well, you're looking better than ever.

- That's because my spring flows through these caves.

It's magical minerals have restored my beauty

to its former luster.

Now that I'm my old or should I say young self again

I can resurface and win Steve back.

- How?

- By getting rid of the new love in his life.

- Do we get to kill her?

- Unfortunately not.

If we kill Darcy, then Steve will love her even more.

But if she left him, then love would turn to hate,

and Steve would turn to me.

- But how are you gonna get her

to give him the old heave-ho?

- I'm gonna enlist the help of someone from her past?

- Who? - Who?

- An old flame.

(dramatic music)

(machine beeping)

- Your burning desire for violence

needs to be extinguished.

(machine whirling)

Oh, excellent.

Now that Inferno's regeneration process has completed,

we can move on to the rehabilitation procedure.

After I erase the evil memories of your past,

you can become a normal member of society.

(dramatic music)

- How good is a fireman who starts fires?

(soft groaning)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Burn baby burn.

Feel the heat tonight.

Come to daddy, whoa.

(fire engines blaring)

(loud explosions)

(police sirens blaring)

Whoa, yeah.

Whoa.

(people screaming)

(people screaming)

(dramatic music)

(soft chuckling)

- Yes, yes.

One moment more and your memories will be memories.

- You're about to become a memory yourself, doc.

- Medusa, no, please.

No, you mustn't.

Please not now.

No (screaming).

(dramatic music)

- What are you doing, queen of stone?

- [Medusa] Restoring his memories.

- [Marble] Why?

- I need him to remember who he's in love with.

(machine whirling)

- Excuse me I'm looking for Detective Walker.

- You found her.

- My name's Adam Burns.

- A fireman named Burns.

- How did you know I was a fireman?

(dramatic music)

(soft coughing)

- Well,

you are a hot number.

- You're pretty statuesque yourself.

But who are you?

- My name is Medusa,

and I'm your new partner in crime.

Any other questions?

- Just one.

Who am I?

(heavy sighing)

- Do you mean to tell me you don't remember anything?

- The only thing I can remember is Darcy's face.

I must have been carrying quite a torch for her.

- Indeed you were,

and hopefully you till are.

If you two get hot and heavy again,

maybe Steve will stop stonewalling me.

- Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned.

- What about your fury, Inferno

how does it make you feel

to know that she's stoking his fire right now?

(dramatic music)

- Now that you mentioned it

it does get me a little hot under the collar.

(soft coughing)

- You really should see someone about that.

- So what do you suggest we do about our unrequited loves?

- The only thing we can do

team up, tear them a part.

What do you say?

- I think we're gonna make one hell of a team.

(soft chuckling)

- Well, I guess we'll give...

Give it another shot at us tomorrow night, huh?

- Yeah, right, so it's a date.

- It is?

- Well, you know what I mean.

See ya.

- Yeah, yeah.

(dramatic music)

- [Adam] Hi, honey, I'm home.

(gentle music)

- Adam.

Is this really you?

- Actually it's an incredible simulation.

- I'm not sure I understand.

- I'm not sure I understand either.

Doctor Phoenix had me regenerated.

- But what are you doing here?

- I'm cooking you dinner.

I hope you like chicken flambe,

which reminds me I've gotta defrost the bird.

- Why did Doctor Phoenix release you?

- Oh, he didn't Medusa did.

- Medusa. - Now don't go

getting jealous we're just friends,

which is more than I can say about you and your partner.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Well, let's not pretend, Darcy.

After all, you thought I was dead.

It's only natural that you would find someone else.

But I think we can rekindle our romance.

- No, no, this can't happen again.

- Come on, Darcy.

(dramatic music)

You can't deny that there's still heat between us.

Now I know it might just be a little flicker now,

but I think we can fan it back into a flame.

- Maybe you're right.

Tell ya what why don't I go slip into

something more comfortable.

- Don't be long.

This'll only take a second.

(dramatic music)

- Darcy, the food's getting cold.

- If I were you I'd put you

and your dinner date on the back burner.

- Back burner, oh, I'll show you a back burner.

- You need to chill out.

- Just when I was getting warmed up.

Oh, you know what they say

one good burn deserves another.

- Out of the frying pan into the fire.

- You're the one that's going into the fire.

Now look what you've done.

You've ruined dinner

after I spent all night slaving over a hot stove.

- If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

(dramatic music)

(loud scream)

(car engine revving)

(dramatic music)

Activate auto transfer.

- Attention Officer Rafferty.

Attention Officer Rafferty.

There's a 10-82 in progress

the corner of Angel and 12th street over.

- What do you say we get down and dirty.

(loud screaming)

(soft chuckling)

- All units officer down I need help 1006 Avenue and 8th.

(tires screeching)

I need help.

Medusa.

- I'm flattered you remember me.

- I remember you turning me into a statue.

- I hope there aren't any hard feelings.

- The only hard feeling you're gonna have

is my fist against your face.

- Black Scorpion.

Marble, Granite crush her.

(dramatic music)

- I guess it's time for a little rock and roll.

- Why don't you stick to playing in the mud.

Get it?

Stick in the mud?

(soft giggling)

- There's no escape, Medusa.

- For either of us.

- What are you talking about?

- If they get me, they get you.

(police sirens blaring)

- Why can't I ever meet a nice normal girl.

- Auto revert.

- Okay, here we go, Ms. Walker.

One more hit should do it.

- Detectives, oh, thank goodness it's you.

I was burning alive in there.

- Speaking of which how did you clone Inferno?

I scattered his ashes myself.

- It was a mortician sold me a sampling before

he turned him over to you.

- Why did you reanimate him?

Don't you have enough guinea pigs to play with?

- As we genetic scientists like to say

the more the scarier.

- What? - Never mind me.

I'm just cloning around.

- Well, we're not cloning around,

and we're not laughing either.

Inferno and Medusa are dangerous enough on their own.

But you combined the two, and they may be unstoppable.

- But what are they after?

- Actually us.

- Well, that should make your job all the simpler.

- What are you talking about?

- Well, it seems to me that the best way to catch them

is to let them catch you.

(dramatic music)

Yeah.

- What makes you think Medusa and Inferno

are gonna come looking for us up here?

- Because this is where they got the idea

that you and I were a couple.

- On our stake out.

- Exactly.

- Well, seems our paramours have feet of clay after all.

- Maybe they're just trying to smoke us out.

- It's only one way to find out.

- You all set slugger?

- Ready and waiting Steve-O.

- How about you, Specs?

- Affirmative.

First spark or pebble I see I'm there.

- Steve, look.

- Show time guys.

- Do my eyes deceive me

or is this a double date?

- Well, I wonder where they're taking us?

- How about Pearl Gate Penitentiary.

- You're under arrest.

- Police freeze, whoa, whoa.

(dramatic music)

- I didn't realize this was such a hot spot.

- Freeze police.

- This night's off to a rocky start.

(evil laughter)

(tense tone)

- Steve. - Darce.

- Specs. - Slugger.

- Come on, Inferno.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

- You don't have to ask me twice.

Let's hot tail it out of here.

- I think they're getting away.

- Oh, who cares?

- Not me.

- Me neither.

(evil laughter)

- [Steve] Your eyes they're like--

- Now let me get this straight.

Not only did you guys let Inferno and Medusa get away.

But you also let Cupid fly the coop too.

- Your hair has such a beautiful shine to it.

- Oh, thank you.

- You know, I really love your smile.

- Hey, snap out of it.

Listen Slugger and Specs sniffed the same fumes you did,

but you don't see them making goo-goo eyes at each other.

- Has anyone ever told you,

that you're a very attractive man?

- Not in the last 30 seconds.

- Oh, no, not you guys too.

Hey, stop that.

Stop it.

Oh, no.

Somebody better come up with an anecdote

for these love bird's pheromones and fast.

- Yo, are you Doctor Phoenix?

- Yo, I mean ja, ja how can I help you?

- I'm not the one who needs help, it's her.

- Cupid loves me.

He loves me not.

- I'm afraid that she's a bit

too alive to be one of my patients.

Bring her back in 50 or 60 years after she drops dead.

Then we'll see what I can do.

- Look I don't need you to bring her back to life.

I need you to put some sense into her head.

You know, she dumped me for some pip squeak.

- Mama, always told me good things come in small packages.

- I thought you said size didn't matter?

- Well, I was wrong.

- I don't understand either one of you.

Now if you don't mind, I would like to get to

my cadaver before rigor mortis sets in.

- Look, doc, I've had a hard time

coming up with an anecdote for Cupid's love spells.

So far everything I try nothing works.

Look, I want you to talk a look at this

biochemical breakdown I've come up with

and tell me what I'm doing wrong.

- Well, at first glance it appears as though

you failed to counteract the love bird pheromones.

- He loves me not.

- Counteract them with what?

- With an equally potent pheromone from a solitary species

one that finds it difficult to mate.

- Like what?

- A shark or rattlesnakes that should do the trick.

- You know I just left my last rattlesnake back at home.

What else?

- Well, I don't know a scorpion perhaps.

(dramatic tone)

- Scorpion.

I'll be right back.

Watch my girl.

- With pleasure.

(dramatic music)

- Yeah, baby, come to papa.

Come to papa.

- I can't believe our plan backfired like that.

- Why don't you throw some of that heat over here.

I always wanted a jacuzzi.

- How can you take a bath at a time like this.

- [Medusa] If I don't my skin will break out

and Steve will never want me.

- [Inferno] Oh, he's never gonna want you anyway.

Darcy's never gonna want me

not as long as they're under Cupid's love spell.

- There's gotta be something we can do

to give them a change of heart.

- How about a threat.

- Nah, that never worked with Steve in the past.

- I'm not talking about threatening them.

I'm talking about threatening the thing that they love most.

- Well, right now that's each other.

- Yeah, but in the past it's always been the city.

They'll do anything to save it.

- So what do you propose?

- That you and I combine our talents for destruction.

(evil laughter)

- Walker, Rafferty get down to Angel Tech.

There's a robbery in progress.

- What do you say, Darce?

It's a lovely night for a drive.

- Can we take the scenic route?

- Uh-huh.

- There's no time for that.

Come on, come on get a move on let's go.

Go, go, go, go, go.

- Captain never stops to smell the roses.

- It's 'cause he's not in love.

- You're darn right I'm not.

I'm a married man.

Now you two finish up those reports,

and this time try not to drool on them.

- I knew I shouldn't have skipped breakfast.

- It is the most important meal of the day.

- Police nobody move.

- I just love it when you take control like that.

- Really.

- Yeah.

- Alright, get your hands up in the air.

- Let's kick some ash.

(dramatic music)

(soft groaning)

- What are you doing?

- What's it look like I'm doing

I'm beating the hell out of him.

- You're only supposed to hurt the one you love

not the one I love.

- Lighten up, stone face.

- Alright you over grown match stick.

Two can play at this game.

- Come on get her, get her.

- Darcy.

- How dare you hit a woman.

- You may be a woman, but you're no lady.

(soft groaning)

You stone called witch.

- Hot blooded creep.

(soft grunting)

(soft grunting)

- You as turned on as I am?

- It's just the heat of the moment.

- Well, why don't you say we call it a dead heat

and get out of here.

- Sure.

Ow.

- Sorry.

- Steve.

Steve.

- [Medusa] Come on boys.

- Darcy, is that?

(engine revving)

- Sweet dreams.

(tires screeching)

Activate auto transform.

- Oh, no.

- What's wrong.

- I have a pimple.

- Is that all?

For a minute I that Black Scorpion was chasing us.

- Why do you think I am breaking out.

- It's time to burn rubber.

- I'm going as fast as I can.

- Not our rubber, hers.

Now that's what I call a hot broad.

- Engage thermal shields.

(loud explosion)

- That car of hers is fireproof.

- Now is no time to be smoking.

- I disagree.

- Activate arrow vacuum.

- Where there is smoke there's Inferno.

- Inferno and Medusa made off with what appears to be

random parts from various military prototypes.

What this deadly duo plans to do

with the seemingly unrelated pieces has experts baffled.

- Experts maybe baffled but I'm not at least not anymore.

Alright gather around you love birds

and take a look at this.

It was just delivered to my office.

Do you mind putting that in for me?

- This is an ultimatum to Darcy and Steve.

If you two don't end your smoldering romance,

the city of angels will smolder in our heat.

Tell 'em about our sure fire plan, Medusa.

- The machine you see behind me

is a giant version of my plaster blaster

made from the parts we stole from Angel Tech.

Only it doesn't shoot plaster.

It shoots molten hot lava

curtesy of my flame throwing friend here.

- And that lava will erupt through Heavenly Point

turning the city's highest hillside into a volcano

that will shake and bake the entire population.

- You have until midnight tonight

to surrender yourselves to us

at the Guardian Of Angels monument.

- If we don't see you tonight,

we'll see you in hell and that's no threat.

That's a promise written in fire.

- And brimstone.

- Alright you two I want you to

stop playing kissy face with each other

and start playing kissy face with Medusa and Inferno.

- Captain, we are so enraptured with each other

we just can't be separated.

- Rafferty, I'm giving you a direct order.

Are you refusing to follow it?

- No, cap, I think what he's saying is we can't follow it.

- Stop that dancing.

Stop kissing, ah.

(dramatic music)

- I don't believe this.

We've been stood up.

- Maybe they think we're bluffing.

- We'll, we're show 'em we're not.

Fire that thing up.

(tense music)

(machine beeping)

- We're at 30,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

- Ready.

- 60, 120, 250,000 degrees.

- Aim.

- 500.

750.

One million degrees Fahrenheit.

- Fire.

(loud groaning)

(dramatic music)

(people screaming)

(evil laughter)

(people screaming)

(soft giggling)

(heavy breathing)

- Now that's what I call one hell of a lava lamp.

(evil laughter)

- National Guard is evacuating the homes

at the base of the hillside

but the lava is flowing so fast

that the entire population will be at risk.

- I always said this city is going to hell in a hand basket,

but this is ridiculous.

- What are you doing here?

- I'm returning something I borrowed.

What are you two doing?

- Right now I'm counting Darcy's eyelashes, six, seven.

- Shouldn't you be out trying to catch Inferno and Medusa.

- How many on this one?

- Uh-oh, I know that look.

That's the same look Tender Lovin' had

when she was under Cupid's spell.

- One, two.

- I need a drink.

- Five.

- As a matter of fact,

why don't we all go have one, shall we?

- This tastes strange.

- So does mine.

What's in this?

- A sleeping pill.

- That's what I thought.

- Nighty night.

- Argyle.

- Don't worry, Blue.

All I put in yours is just a little something

to counteract the love bird pheromones.

- What you talking about?

- Dr. Phoenix and I put our bald heads together

and come up with an anecdote.

Now that lover boy here is in la la land

I suggest you become Black Scorpion

and find a way to stop that volcano.

- Could you give me a minute?

- Alright, but hurry up.

A minute's up let's go come on let go.

Over the teach and through the gums

look out super villains 'cause her she comes.

Now come on let go.

(dramatic music)

- Computer, access Angel's parking recreation bureau.

List all caves closed to the general public.

Eliminate all except those that had

tunnels running under Heavenly Point.

(dramatic music)

Computer, engage stingray.

Fire.

- What are you doing?

- Trying to light this cigar.

- Do me a favor if you wanna smoke,

set yourself on fire.

- Computer, stingray.

- Better yet set her on fire.

What is wrong?

- I used all my body heat to power up that machine.

- The flame that burns twice as high lasts half as long.

- Let's see how long you last against the four of us.

Come on, boys.

(soft grunting)

(lava squishing)

(soft grunting)

- [Marble] Come on, you want some more, come on.

- You four are full of hate.

- That's because we have no love in our lives.

- Maybe I can help you out with that.

- What are you talking about?

- Auto reverse vacuum.

- Medusa.

- Inferno.

(dramatic music)

- Alright, everybody, listen up.

As of today I'm putting a new policy into effect.

No more dating between partners.

- Cap, you don't have to worry about us

ever since Specs and I drank the anecdote,

we want nothing to do with each other.

- I wouldn't go that far.

- Keep drinking, Romeo, keep drinking.

- Still I think it's a good idea

especially between you two.

- Well, Cap, I think your concerns are unfounded.

Ever since the love bird pheromones wore off

Darcy and I wouldn't even consider dating each other

not in a million years.

- A billion years.

- What do you think I'm stupid?

Don't answer that.

What happened between you two

wasn't only because of Cupid's spell.

- It wasn't.

- Either two people have a chemistry or they don't.

(gentle music)

(upbeat music)