Original subtitles

[YAWNING]

WELL, JACKIE.

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.

MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND STILL NO LIFE.

MMM. DAN?

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR ROSEANNE,

SHE HAD TO GO BACK TO THE MALL.

ALL THE KIDS WENT TO SEE THAT DALMATIAN MOVIE.

SOME COFFEE?

NO. NO.

HEY, HOW'S YOUR MOM DOING?

GOOD. SHE'S GOOD. REAL GOOD.

YEAH, 'CAUSE I KNOW WE DIDN'T GET TO TALK.

YOU KNOW, WITH ALL THE HOLIDAY STUFF GOING ON AND EVERYTHING,

AND I JUST WONDERED WHAT YOU WERE DOING

TO KILL TIME OUT THERE IN CALIFORNIA.

WELL, YOU KNOW, I GOT MY MOM SET UP AT THE FACILITY,

AND I SAW SOME SIGHTS, DROVE UP THE COAST.

THAT'S ABOUT IT.

OH, I SPENT A LOT OF TIME PICKING AVOCADOS OFF OF MY SANDWICHES.

THEY PUT IT ON EVERYTHING OUT THERE.

WELL, YOU WERE OUT THERE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, THOUGH.

DID YOU MEET ANYBODY INTERESTING?

HEY, I SAW DON RICKLES AT A GAS STATION.

THAT HOCKEY PUCK.

BUT NOBODY ELSE, THOUGH, HUH?

WELL, I DIDN'T GO OUT THERE CELEBRITY-STALKING.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON AN AVERAGE DAY?

'CAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU WOULD GO VISIT YOUR MOM IN THE HOSPITAL,

BUT THEN WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

I DON'T KNOW, HAVE LUNCH.

ALONE? THAT HAD TO HAVE BEEN HARD.

YOU KNOW, NOBODY TO TALK TO OR EAT WITH.

WELL, JACKIE, OBVIOUSLY I TALKED TO PEOPLE.

YEAH, BUT LIKE WHO IN PARTICULAR?

JACKIE, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

WHAT COLOR SHIRT I WORE EVERY DAY?

HEY, I GOT A JAYWALKING TICKET FROM A BICYCLE COP.

I GAVE HIM SOME SASS ABOUT HIS BARE LEGS

AND HE UPSIDED ME IN THE HEAD WITH A BICYCLE PUMP.

HOW'S THAT?

HA. WERE YOU WALKING ACROSS THE STREET ALL BY YOURSELF?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

WHO YOU WERE ON THE PHONE WITH YESTERDAY.

OH, YOU MEAN MY MOM.

WELL, IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE THAT TO ME.

"THANKS FOR BEING SO GREAT WITH MY MOM."

WELL, IT WAS ONE OF MY MOM'S DOCTORS.

"IT WAS HARD BEING AWAY FROM YOU FOR CHRISTMAS."

SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'M NOT GETTING.

YOU WANTED TO SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH HER DOCTOR?

WELL, I MEAN... AND WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF

LISTENING TO MY CONVERSATIONS IN MY HOUSE?

OH, DON'T TURN IT AROUND ON ME.

I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON.

NOTHING'S GOING ON.

THAT'S BULL, AND YOU KNOW IT!

WHAT IS GOING ON, DAN?

♪ IF WHAT DOESN'T KILL US IS MAKING US STRONGER ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA LAST LONGER ♪

♪ THAN THE GREATEST WALL IN CHINA ♪

♪ OR THAT RABBIT WITH A DRUM ♪

♪ IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT I'VE LEARNED ♪

♪ WHILE WAITING FOR MY TURN ♪

♪ IT'S THAT IN EACH LIFE SOME RAIN FALLS ♪

♪ BUT YOU ALSO GET SOME SUN ♪

♪ AND WE'LL MAKE OUT BETTER THAN OK ♪

♪ HEAR WHAT I SAY ♪

♪ YEAH, ANY DAY ♪

WHAT WAS GOING ON OUT THERE, DAN?

PLEASE TELL ME THAT IT'S NOT WHAT I THINK IT IS.

OH, MY GOD.

IT IS... ISN'T IT?

OH, MY GOD.

WHO IS SHE?

SHE'S MY MOTHER'S NURSE.

OH, DAN! OH, MY GOD, DAN!

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

JACKIE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

NO, I KNOW IT'S GOT TO BE REALLY COMPLICATED.

JACKIE, NOTHING HAS HAPPENED.

WE HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER...

DAN, JUST... OH, COME ON!

DO YOU...

SEE, NOW THAT YOU HAVE MONEY

YOU THINK NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU'RE MR. POPULAR?

DO YOU THINK THIS WOMAN WANTS YOU FOR YOUR GIRLISH FIGURE?

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY.

NO, RIGHT.

NO, IT'S 45-YEAR-OLD MARRIED MAN WITH 4 KIDS,

WHAT A CATCH!

ARE YOU SPENDING A LOT OF MONEY ON HER?

LOOK, JUST BECAUSE SHE LIKES ME TO TAKE HER TO NICE PLACES

DOESN'T MEAN THAT SHE'S AFTER MY MONEY.

NO! NO, OF COURSE IT DOESN'T!

SHE WOULD LIKE YOU JUST AS MUCH IF YOU WERE STILL A DRY-WALLER.

SHE WOULD. SEE, YOU DON'T KNOW HER.

SO, YOU... YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

NO, BUT I DON'T NEED TO KNOW HER

TO KNOW THAT SHE'S NOT YOUR WIFE.

LOOK, JACKIE, I'VE BEEN OVER AND OVER THIS

TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED.

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT NEEDED SOMETHING.

YEAH, WELL, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT PART THAT WAS.

[SIGHS]

JACKIE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED,

AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS DOING TO ME!

BEING BACK HERE, AROUND THE FAMILY,

TRYING TO PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING'S BACK THE WAY IT WAS,

THE GUILT IS EATING ME ALIVE!

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ROSEANNE?

SOON, OK? I JUST...

I HAVE TO FIND THE RIGHT WORDS.

I STILL LOVE HER.

CUT THE CRAP!

FEELINGS ARE ONE THING.

IT'S WHAT YOU DO THAT COUNTS.

I'M NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WAS RIGHT,

BUT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.

I MARRIED YOUNG. I GAVE UP A LOT IN MY LIFE.

OH, BOO HOO! WHO HASN'T?

JACKIE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!

THINGS ARE DIFFERENT OUT THERE!

LIFE IS EASIER!

PEOPLE ARE 60-YEARS-OLD, THEY LOOK 40!

IT'S 72 DEGREES AND SUNNY ALL THE TIME!

IT'S NOT LIKE HERE!

I DON'T KNOW WHY I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU, DAN.

IT IS VERY CLEAR TO ME NOW

THAT THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE.

WHAT THE HELL'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

YOUR FATHER ALSO HAD KIND OF AN EYE FOR THE LADIES, DIDN'T HE?

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.

BOY, THAT'S A LOW BLOW.

WELL, IT'S TRUE.

ALL THESE YEARS THINKING THAT YOU WERE BETTER THAN YOUR DAD.

YOU'RE WAY OUTTA LINE.

FIRST TIME OUT ON THE ROAD,

YOU DO THE EXACT SAME THING.

I GUESS THE CONNER MEN DON'T TRAVEL VERY WELL,

AND I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING,

IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME IF YEARS FROM NOW

YOUR SONS AREN'T VISITING THEIR MOTHER IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION.

WHO IN THE HELL ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYWAY?

[DOOR SLAMS] Roseanne: DAMN!

YOU TELL HER, OR I WILL.

HI, JACKIE.

I DROPPED THE KIDS OVER AT MOM'S FOR AN OVERNIGHTER.

WHAT'S UP WITH YOU GUYS?

Dan: HMM?

OH, JACKIE AND I ARE HAVING THAT SAME OLD FIGHT

ABOUT WHO'S A BETTER COP...

JIMMY SMITS OR THAT GUY THAT'S ALWAYS SHOWING HIS ASS.

HOW WAS THE WHITE SALE?

WELL, IT WAS AWESOME.

FOR THE FIRST TIME, I DIDN'T HAVE TO BUY ANY IRREGULARS.

ALL THE FITTED SHEETS I GOT ARE SHAPED JUST LIKE A BED.

GOOD, 'CAUSE YOU MUST BE ANXIOUS TO GET THE BEDROOM REMODELED.

HEY, THESE BABIES ARE TOP OF THE LINE.

350-THREAD COUNT COTTON.

NICE.

YES, VERY NICE.

NOT TOO NICE, THOUGH, I HOPE,

'CAUSE I STILL WANT TO BE THE SOFTEST THING IN THE BED.

DAN, DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE SHEETS, YOU KNOW,

SO I GO, "I HOPE THEY'RE NOT TOO NICE,

'CAUSE I STILL WANT TO BE THE SOFTEST THING IN THE BED."

YEAH. HA HA.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GO,

BUT I WILL BE BACK.

HEY, YEAH, THAT MEANS WE'LL ONLY HAVE, WHAT?

6 MORE WEEKS OF WINTER, RIGHT?

ROSEANNE, I GOTTA TELL YOU SOME...

HOLD IT! HOLD IT!

YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

I GO BY THE GAS N' SIP,

YOU KNOW, FOR A BLADDERBUSTER,

AND I LOOK UP THERE AT THE TABLOID RACK,

YOU KNOW, TO SEE HOW THE CHICKEN BOY SCORED ON HIS S.A.T.s,

AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

"DISNEY TO BUILD THEME PARK IN GAZA STRIP."

NO, NOT THAT! RIGHT THERE.

THAT PRINCE CARLOS THAT JACKIE'S DATING.

LOOK AT THAT.

LOOK AT THAT. HE MARRIED HIS CHAMBERMAID, DAN.

HE JUST MET HER LAST MONTH,

BECAUSE AS IT TURNS OUT,

HE HAD NEVER EVEN BEEN TO THE WEST WING OF HIS OWN DAMN PALACE.

SAYS HERE IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

LOOK AT HER, DAN! SHE'S 50-YEARS-OLD!

SHE'S GOT THE CROW'S FEET AND EVERYTHING LIKE THAT.

HOW AM I GOING TO TELL JACKIE?

GOD! MEN ARE SO DAMN PREDICTABLE!

WELL, ROSE, I MEAN, YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE SITUATION.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE... MAYBE HE...

DON'T GO STICKING UP FOR THE GUY

JUST 'CAUSE YOU ARE ONE.

YOU KNOW, I'M JUST LUCKY

THAT I GOT ME ONE OF THE FEW GOOD ONES.

WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?

NOTHIN'.

OK.

THERE YOU GO.

YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP THEM ELEVATED

TO KEEP THEM FROM SWELLING UP.

OH, D.J., THAT'S SO SWEET.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S THE SCAM, YOU LITTLE GRIFTER?

WELL, GOD, DARLENE,

YOU'RE 25 WEEKS PREGNANT.

JUST TRYING TO BE NICE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

LAST NIGHT, YOU DIDN'T FIGHT ME FOR THE REMOTE.

THIS MORNING, YOU OFFERED TO MAKE ME PANCAKES.

NOW, I'M GETTING FED UP. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.

COME ON, DARLENE, HE'S YOUR LITTLE BROTHER.

JUST BECAUSE HE'S BEING NICE

DOESN'T MEAN HE WANTS SOMETHING.

I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL, D.J.

SHUT UP, SNOW WHITE.

SHE'S RIGHT.

I DO WANT SOMETHING.

ALL RIGHT. I WANT TO VIDEOTAPE YOU GIVING BIRTH.

HA HA HA. FORGET IT.

YOU CAN BRING IN YOUR COONSKIN CAP TO SHOW N' TELL.

WELL, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS MAY NOT HAVE BEEN THE BEST METHOD OF ASKING,

BUT WE DO NEED SOMEONE TO FILM IT.

I DON'T WANT THIS LITTLE CREEP LOOKING AT MY PATOOTIE.

YOU FILM IT.

PLEASE, DARLENE, IT'S A PORTAL OF LIFE.

BESIDES, I CAN'T FILM IT.

I'M GOING TO BE COACHING YOU.

I'M GETTING REALLY GOOD WITH THE CAMERA.

BESIDES, WHO ELSE YOU GONNA GET?

DAVID'S STONER FRIEND WHO DID YOUR WEDDING?

ANOTHER 45 MINUTES OF NANA MARY PASSED OUT IN YOUR SHRIMP COCKTAIL?

I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA, D.J.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT,

AND WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU.

ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW SOON.

"PATOOTIE"?

"PORTAL OF LIFE"?

OH, YEAH, BEDROOM'S GONNA BE GREAT, ROSEANNE. GREAT.

I... I LIKE THE, WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?

THE MEDIEVAL THEME.

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE I ORDERED A LOT OF IT

OUT OF CHER'S CATALOG HERE.

BOY, SHE'S JUST GOT GREAT TASTE.

SHE CAN MAKE ANY ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE

LOOK LIKE A DUNGEON FOR LESS THAN $10,000.

JACKIE?

UM, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

OH, WE DON'T REALLY NEED TO TALK, ROSEANNE.

WE TALK ALL THE TIME.

NO, COME ON. IT'S DIFFERENT.

SIT DOWN.

IT'S BEST THAT YOU HEAR THIS FROM ME.

WHAT?

SIT DOWN.

[SIGHS]

THERE'S... THERE'S JUST NO EASY WAY TO SAY THIS.

OH, MY GOD.

LET'S FACE IT, JACKIE.

SOME RELATIONSHIPS JUST ARE NOT MEANT TO LAST FOREVER.

NO, BUT THIS ONE, YOU KNOW,

I THOUGHT WOULD BE DIFFERENT.

OH, YOU KNOW?

YEAH, I KNOW.

MEN ARE DOGS!

THEY'RE DOGS! OH, THEY ARE!

ROSEANNE, THEY ARE DOGS.

AND THEY ARE PIGS, AND THEY ARE SWINE!

WHICH ARE PIGS.

YEAH, BUT AT LEAST PIGS HAVE AN EXCUSE.

THEY'RE PIGS.

SO, WHAT IS IT WITH MEN?

WHY ARE THEY SO PATHETIC?

I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS THEY'RE JUST LITTLE BABIES, YOU KNOW,

AND THEY MISS THEIR MOMMIES OR SOMETHING.

THEY GOTTA GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.

THAT'S WHY THEY ALWAYS FALL IN LOVE WITH THEIR MAIDS

OR WAITRESSES OR NURSES, YOU KNOW?

I... I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER. FINISHED. KAPUT.

WELL, NOW THAT IT'S OVER,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW SOMETHING.

I NEVER REALLY LIKED THE GUY ANYHOW.

WHAT?

I WAS ALL LIKE AN ACT, YOU KNOW?

HE SMELLED THE MONEY.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

'CAUSE I'M JUST BEING HONEST,

AND HONESTLY, I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT IT LASTED THIS LONG.

I MEAN, I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT

WHEN I READ IT IN THE GLOBE OR THE STAR,

BUT WHEN I SEEN IT IN THE ENQUIRER,

I KNEW IT HAD TO BE TRUE.

IT WAS IN THE ENQUIRER?

OH, MY GOD!

JACKIE, WE ARE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.

YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS SAID THIS ABOUT THE ROYALS...

THEY'RE NOTHING BUT TRAILER TRASH WITH TITLES.

LOOK AT HER. SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE DR. RUTH.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT D.J. TAPING THE BIRTH.

OH, HE'LL BE FINE.

HEY, D.J., WATCH THIS TAPE

OF OUR FRIEND JANET GIVING BIRTH.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

YO, SPIELBERG, PILLOW.

SEE THE CAMERA IS PRESENT, BUT UNOBTRUSIVE,

YOU KNOW?

OK, DEEJ, JUST TO HELP YOU OUT,

THAT PERSON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SCREEN IS A WOMAN.

WOW. WELL, OK, THERE SHE IS.

SHE'S 100% EFFACED.

OK, IT'S CROWNING.

THAT'S THE DOCTOR PICKING UP THE SCISSORS

TO PERFORM THE EPISIOTOMY.

JUST A LITTLE CLIP OF THE PERINEUM

TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE BABY'S HEAD.

MAN, THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD.

HOLD IT. HERE COMES THE BABY.

GOD, ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL?

HA HA HA!

WOW, LOOK AT THAT GUSH OF AMNIOTIC FLUID.

[BABY CRIES]

HEY, THIS CHER CATALOGUE'S GOT SOME STUFF

I THINK WE'LL BOTH LIKE, LIKE THIS WALLPAPER.

OK, THIS HERE'S A CHASTITY BELT,

BUT FROM A DISTANCE, I THINK IT LOOKS LIKE A TOOL BELT.

YEAH. GREAT.

SO, I TOLD JACKIE ABOUT THE PRINCE.

SHE DIDN'T EVEN SEEM THAT UPSET.

BUT YOU KNOW JACKIE.

YEAH, WELL, IF HE'S ANYTHING LIKE THE MOLDAVIANS I'VE MET,

TO HELL WITH HIM.

WELL, SHE SAID HIS TOES WERE ALL WEBBED AND STUFF, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE OF ALL THE INBREEDING, I GUESS.

LOOK, ROSEANNE, A LOT'S GONE DOWN OVER THE LAST 6 MONTHS,

AND I'VE HAD A REAL HARD TIME DEALING WITH IT.

WELL, YEAH. IT'S BEEN ROUGH ON ALL OF US, DAN,

BUT NOW THAT YOU'RE HOME,

WE'LL GET BACK TO NORMAL.

OH, YEAH. EVEN THOUGH I'M HOME,

I STILL FEEL LIKE I'M SOMEWHERE ELSE.

WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU GOT A LOT OF THAT RESIDUAL CALIFORNIA CRAP

STILL LEFT UP IN YOUR SYSTEM, YOU KNOW?

YOU'LL BE FINE AGAIN

ONCE YOU GET BACK TO DRINKING WATER OUT OF THE TAP.

YOU KNOW, I WAS ALONE AND AWAY UP THERE.

I HAD A LOT OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT THINGS...

AND I FEEL LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING INSIDE, YOU KNOW,

SOMETHING'S MISSING,

LIKE THERE'S A BIG HOLE THERE.

WELL, AS LONG AS THERE'S NO EXIT WOUND,

I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD WORRY ABOUT IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING HERE.

I GOT SOMETHING REALLY HARD TO TELL YOU,

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO START.

WELL, I AM YOUR WIFE, DAN. YOU CAN TELL ME...

ROSEANNE, SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY AWFUL HAS HAPPENED.

I'VE MET SOMEONE.

SOMEONE?

I MET A WOMAN.

OK, SO BY "MET,"

YOU DON'T MEAN JUST MET,

OR IT WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN YOU SO LONG TO TELL ME.

IT'S MORE THAN JUST MET.

HOW MUCH MORE?

I MET HER AT THE HOSPITAL.

OH, YEAH?

SO THERE'S A CHANCE SHE'LL BE DEAD SOON?

SHE'S MY MOTHER'S NURSE.

WHAT?

I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HER.

ROSEANNE, YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE THIS.

I DID NOT GO LOOKING FOR THIS.

I DIDN'T PLAN ON THIS.

IF I HAD A CHOICE,

THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. WAIT A MINUTE.

IF YOU HAD A CHOICE?

YOU DIDN'T REALLY JUST SAY THAT TO ME, DID YOU?

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST...

LOOK, AFTER I HAD MY HEART ATTACK, I GOT SPOOKED.

I STARTED FACING MY OWN MORTALITY.

OH, I GET IT.

SHE'S YOUNGER.

OH, ROSEANNE.

NO. I'M RIGHT, AREN'T I?

HOW MUCH YOUNGER THAN ME IS SHE?

COME ON, ROSEANNE, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

SO WHAT DOES SHE DO FOR YOU, DAN?

SHE HANGS ON YOUR EVERY WORD?

WHAT? SHE RUBS THE KNOTS OUT OF THE BACK OF YOUR NECK?

DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING OUT THERE?

NO. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING OUT THERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY.

WELL, ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH HER?

I'M VERY CONFUSED.

I KNOW THAT I STILL LOVE YOU.

OH, MY GOD, WHO WROTE THAT LINE?

I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

WELL, THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

IF WE HADN'T WON THAT MONEY, WOULD IT?

SO, WHAT NOW, DAN?

WE'RE PART OF THE PRIVILEGED CLASS,

AND I GET TO GIVE YOU THE TYPICAL RESPONSE

OF THE NUMB SOCIETY WIFE?

LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY

WHEN THEY CATCH YOU IN A HOTEL WITH SOME CALL GIRL?

WELL, I DON'T HAVE THAT BLINDNESS THAT ONLY MONEY CAN BUY, DAN.

I'M NOT ROSE KENNEDY.

I'M WORKING CLASS,

AND THAT MEANS THAT THERE'S RIGHT AND THERE'S WRONG,

THERE'S BLACK AND THERE'S WHITE,

AND NO AMOUNT OF MONEY IS GOING TO GET ME TO SEE GRAY.

I KNOW THAT, AND I KNOW THAT I HAVE A DUTY TO THIS FAMILY,

AND I INTEND TO SEE IT THROUGH.

SO THAT'S WHAT WE ARE TO YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, DAN,

YOUR DUTY, RIGHT?

WELL, ISN'T THAT JUST GREAT FOR YOU?

THEN YOU GET TO BE THE HERO AND THE MARTYR.

WELL, DON'T BOTHER, DAN,

'CAUSE WHILE YOU WERE GONE, I LEARNED SOMETHING, TOO.

I'M GONNA BE FINE.

THIS IS KILLING ME, ROSEANNE.

YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS TEARING ME APART.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, THIS IS TRULY, TRULY, THE VERY LAST THING

I WOULD HAVE EVER EXPECTED OUT OF YOU, DAN.

YOUR DUTY IS OVER.

YOU'RE FREE.

GO.

YOU KNOW.

I OVERHEARD HIM ON THE PHONE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

I THOUGHT IT WAS BETTER COMING FROM HIM,

BUT IF HE DIDN'T TELL YOU, THEN I WAS GONNA.

OH, GOD, IT'S LIKE I NEVER KNEW HIM.

IF HE COULD DO THIS TO YOU AFTER EVERYTHING THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN THROUGH,

THEN MAYBE YOU'RE BETTER OFF.

[SIGHS]

HMM. YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST FIGURED OUT?

WE GOT DUMPED ON THE VERY SAME DAY.

OH, NOW THAT'S A FIRST.

WELL...

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT USED TO IT, BUT I AM,

AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, TOO.

THIS IS NOT AN ENDING. THIS IS A BEGINNING.

I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING ON.

I TOLD YOU.

LISTEN TO ME. WE ARE YOUNG, WE ARE RICH,

AND WE ARE FREE.

WE ARE ENTERING THE PRIME OF OUR LIVES,

AND THERE'S NO MAN THERE TO HOLD US BACK.

WE HAVE GOT ONE LESS EGG TO ANSWER,

ONE LESS BELL TO FRY.

WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE WANT TO DO!

SO DON'T YOU WORRY

BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.

OK.

OK.

I CAN DO THIS.

HAVING A CHILD IS JUST A NATURAL PART OF LIFE.

OK.

IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHING E.R.

HERE WE GO.

OH, BOY!

OK. HERE WE GO.

YOU CAN DO IT.

COME ON, JANET!

WAY TO GO, JANET.

YOU CAN DO IT.

I... I... I CAN SEE THE...

[BABY CRIES]