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1
00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:20,809
Eroticism can also be
a splendid litmus paper
2
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:24,256
which reveals moods, thoughts,
emotions and feelings.
3
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:28,369
It is an expressive and ideological picklock,
4
00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:33,170
a magnifier to discover the most
deeply hidden drives of the human soul.
5
00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:34,978
Like in this short movie
6
00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:38,609
where the asexual behaviour
of the characters
7
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:42,693
shows us some tasty truths
about the characters themselves.
8
00:00:42,780 --> 00:00:46,853
For example, the narcissism
of how one wants to appear
9
00:00:46,940 --> 00:00:51,138
often hides a person's true nature.
10
00:00:51,220 --> 00:00:54,132
In this case, a chavinistic arsehole
11
00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:58,177
becomes frustrated and impotent
and his wife cheats on him.
12
00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:09,530
TINTO BRASS
presents
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00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:14,010
A MAGIC MIRROR
<>
14
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:53,498
STOP SLOWING DOWN
15
00:02:21,580 --> 00:02:23,059
Back!
16
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,852
Is that OK?
17
00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:04,893
Giulia!
18
00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:07,733
Did you go to the locksmith
for the new lock?
19
00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:11,175
I went but it was closed.
20
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,096
And the phone connection?
21
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:18,817
I talked to Telecom,
they're coming tomorrow.
22
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:22,939
Also, the guys for the washing machine.
I told them to come at 11am.
23
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,055
Shit! I told you to make it 12pm.
24
00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:29,136
They couldn't do it at 12pm.
25
00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:31,415
They can't come here
when you want them to.
26
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:35,891
- It was at 11am or in two days and I said...
- Yeah, yeah. It's all right.
27
00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:38,494
And what did the carpenter say?
28
00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:45,291
It was closed as well.
There was a mad traffic jam this evening.
29
00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:48,372
I'd told you to stop by the shop.
30
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:51,497
You don't have to necessarily
go to the one downstairs.
31
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:55,291
- You could go yourself.
- Try to remember tomorrow.
32
00:03:57,700 --> 00:04:00,260
Do I have to do everything?
33
00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:06,013
Who went shopping and to buy the plants?
34
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,332
Fuck it!
35
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:12,938
What happened?
36
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,615
Nothing, nothing.
37
00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:25,337
Be careful with those plates.
They're from my mother.
38
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:26,978
Yes!
39
00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:30,177
Why don't you get out of that bath
and come and help me?
40
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:32,410
You've been in there for half an hour.
41
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:35,810
Since we've got this house
I've been doing everything.
42
00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:53,578
Are you getting the door?
43
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:58,616
- Of course. Who else would get it?
- Of course!
44
00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:06,376
- Hi, Walter.
- Hi.
45
00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:10,297
- Do you want a hand?
- No worries. I'll do it.
46
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:18,811
- Who is it?
- It's Walter with the new mirror.
47
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,858
- I bet he's having a bath.
- Good guess!
48
00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:25,137
- What does he need another mirror for?
- Oh, Walter!
49
00:05:27,740 --> 00:05:29,412
Come here!
50
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,377
Sit down.
51
00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:42,452
You're always bathing and making
yourself ''pretty''. It's an obsession.
52
00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:45,338
I don't deny it. Everyone has an obsession.
53
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,816
I heard you lost yesterday as well.
54
00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:53,456
- Who told you?
- I heard it.
55
00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:57,338
People never mind their own business.
56
00:05:57,420 --> 00:06:01,129
Anyway, you deserve it. What did I tell you?
Don't listen to that arsehole.
57
00:06:01,220 --> 00:06:04,257
- Let's not talk about it.
- You're just a berk.
58
00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:07,457
- I told you...
- Stop it. I don't want to talk about it.
59
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:19,855
Anyway, thank you for the mirror.
Giulia can't put it up, though.
60
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:23,932
What does it have to do with Giulia?
It's your job.
61
00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:29,338
If you did it, it'd be as if
I was doing it myself anyway.
62
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,536
I don't understand.
63
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,975
You're doing me a favour.
64
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:37,450
- It's obvious! - Don't talk
bullshit or I'll break that mirror.
65
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:40,259
Where do you want me to put it?
66
00:06:40,340 --> 00:06:42,217
Next to the door.
67
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:43,858
All right.
68
00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:10,452
How do you manage to live with him?
69
00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:14,374
I've only been here for five minutes
and he's made me mad already.
70
00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:18,450
I know what you mean.
71
00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:22,977
- Sometimes he seems a bit dumb.
- He's not at all. He's a son of a bitch.
72
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:26,336
- Don't offend your mother.
- Let's not even talk about it.
73
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:30,129
- Don't make jokes about things like that.
- Who's joking?
74
00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:32,051
She's making me go mad.
75
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:36,932
''Sandro is so good!
Sandro said that. Sandro did that.''
76
00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:42,219
What about me? Without me she'd be on
the streets. He'd never take her with him.
77
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,814
lt's just that you're too good.
78
00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:47,453
You mean a berk.
79
00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:50,655
You two are so different.
80
00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:53,049
lt's hard to believe you're brothers.
81
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,812
You're telling me.
82
00:08:04,820 --> 00:08:07,414
Close to the door, OK?
83
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,298
Close to the door.
84
00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:12,940
Not too high!
85
00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:14,817
Not too high.
86
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:18,051
- Not too low either.
- Not too low either.
87
00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:22,059
I want to be able to see my whole body.
88
00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:26,057
Remember you're at least four inches
shorter than me.
89
00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:28,700
Arsehole. He's a total arsehole.
90
00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:33,295
- He's like that.
- He always does what he likes.
91
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,689
My mother dotes on him
because he's an actor.
92
00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:39,898
And what an actor he is. ln four years
he only did one photo soap opera.
93
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:43,689
- It's a hard profession.
- We all know what his profession is.
94
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:49,695
- He has an audition on Monday. If...
- Again.
95
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:52,089
Every week there's one.
96
00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:10,098
Hello!
97
00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,538
Yes, but I...
98
00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:20,408
I don't give a toss. You should've
thought about that beforehand.
99
00:09:22,340 --> 00:09:26,697
You didn't get it, then. You didn't get it.
You have to bring me the money.
100
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,295
There's fucking nothing to explain.
101
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:34,851
Listen to me. Either you bring
the money tomorrow or you're in trouble.
102
00:09:34,940 --> 00:09:36,817
Hang up.
103
00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:40,776
Bloody hell.
104
00:09:40,860 --> 00:09:43,693
They all want to have a life of crime.
105
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,577
And then they shit themselves.
106
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:46,376
Excuse me.
107
00:09:46,940 --> 00:09:49,898
Could you give me a hand?
108
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:51,572
Of course.
109
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,972
- Giulia, I'm sorry.
- Fuck off!
110
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:16,930
Bloody hell, such a slap!
111
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:04,335
Instead of staying here doing nothing,
go help my brother. Go.
112
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,695
I want to be with you.
113
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:13,729
Come on, fucking hell!
He's doing us a favour.
114
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:21,256
So? Are you deaf?
115
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:24,496
Move your arse!
116
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,050
As you like.
117
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:43,935
The sponge.
118
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,328
So, do you still want a hand?
119
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:38,656
Look at your face.
120
00:14:42,140 --> 00:14:44,370
Are you insane?
121
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:48,817
I don't know if it's that stuff you snort
or going to the gym that makes you like this.
122
00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:52,249
What are you doing?
123
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:54,456
I was joking.
124
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:56,371
- Come on.
- Leave me alone.
125
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,815
I was joking. Stop it.
126
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:03,856
Go and get me the hairdryer.
127
00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:06,332
Where is it?
128
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:10,535
Where do you think it is? In the kitchen?
129
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:14,090
If it's not in the bathroom,
it must be in the gym bag.
130
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,936
These fucking Sicilians.
131
00:15:20,380 --> 00:15:24,134
That girl doesn't understand that if
she wants to stay, she has to work.
132
00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:26,973
She has to work.
133
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:30,177
It won't be long
before I send her back to her village.
134
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:31,488
One second.
135
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:45,979
Do you know
what she asked me the other day?
136
00:15:46,060 --> 00:15:47,937
She comes to me and says,
137
00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:50,773
''Can I go out with my friend?''
138
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:53,135
She said it was someone's birthday.
139
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,574
I slapped her hard.
140
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,819
All right. I'm going to dry my hair.
141
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:04,176
If I don't fix it straight away,
I will never manage.
142
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:08,217
The other day, I had like a horn.
143
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,450
I had to wash it again.
144
00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:43,139
- Who have you had an affair with?
- Nobody.
145
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,097
- I never...
- Never?
146
00:16:45,180 --> 00:16:46,852
Never.
147
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:53,250
Never say never.
148
00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:04,296
Well. What is it?
149
00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:07,258
I just wanted to check
if you needed anything.
150
00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:10,576
That's a first.
151
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:29,056
Walter. Sandro is here.
152
00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:31,976
- I can't, Walter.
- Why?
153
00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:37,373
Wait for him to leave.
154
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:57,658
And then we can do everything you want.
155
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:09,012
- Everything?
- Everything, yes.
156
00:18:12,140 --> 00:18:14,290
You picked the wrong brother.
157
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:15,978
Yes.
158
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:42,576
So, do you want me?
159
00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,416
I've been wanting you for years.
160
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:50,333
You could have told me before.
161
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,016
You could have told me.
162
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:02,339
- I'll finish here then I'll give you a hand.
- Really?
163
00:19:02,420 --> 00:19:04,729
I don't need it. I've nearly finished.
164
00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:16,495
What's wrong? Are you all right?
165
00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:18,138
What's that face for?
166
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:22,017
I feel a bit stressed. Maybe I'm a bit tired.
167
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:27,737
Well, go to bed early
and tomorrow you'll feel fine.
168
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,533
- You're so beautiful.
- Am I?
169
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,576
ls this how you wanted it?
170
00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:11,334
Perfect. Thank you, little Walter!
171
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,570
lt's OK. It took me less than 20 minutes.
172
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:17,812
Bloody hell! You're ace. It'd take me
20 minutes to make that drill work.
173
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:19,572
You should learn.
174
00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:24,176
You reckon? I want to leave
these little satisfactions to you.
175
00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:26,616
Do what you like.
176
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:29,168
You look so pretty! Are you going out?
177
00:20:30,060 --> 00:20:32,369
With friends?
178
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:35,532
- With a gorgeous chick!
- First time to shag her?
179
00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:38,088
- Already shagged her.
- Same tactics.
180
00:20:38,180 --> 00:20:40,455
Of course. ''Would you give me a hand?''
181
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,577
You'll stay overnight?
182
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:49,010
- But you will be late?
- I don't know. Are you a detective?
183
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,852
Don't get pissed off.
184
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:55,013
- I left a bit of mess. Will you clean it up?
- Giulia will do it.
185
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:58,650
Can you show Walter out?
186
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,699
Yes.
187
00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:04,813
For you.
188
00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:10,496
- You're giving me half a million lire?
- You've been doing a lot for me.
189
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:13,890
By the way, can you tell Mum
I'll come and see her on Sunday?
190
00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:17,017
She'll be happy.
Can you stay with her on Tuesday?
191
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:20,251
Tuesday? No, I can't.
192
00:21:20,340 --> 00:21:24,094
- Fuck it. For once l ask you a...
- I can't, I've got something to do.
193
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:27,013
Something important. I'll tell you later.
194
00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:34,096
- Bye, Sandro.
- See you, Walter.
195
00:21:45,140 --> 00:21:47,734
Are you coming back? I'll wait for you.
196
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:49,299
You bet!
197
00:21:50,380 --> 00:21:53,850
- The green tie?
- With the others.
198
00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:56,295
As soon as you see the car leaving.
199
00:22:05,140 --> 00:22:07,973
While you're waiting.
200
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,096
You're mad.
15072
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