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1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:04,960
'The following program me contains
strong language and adult humour.'
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,040
That right?
I think so.
3
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,520
Uh-huh? Yeah.
4
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,880
Yeah? Yeah? Mm.
5
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:16,160
Yeah. Yeah?
6
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,920
Ooh, yeah. Yeah?
7
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,360
Yeah. Yeah?
8
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,760
Mmm. Yeah?
9
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,080
Mmm. Yeah?
10
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,440
Yeah. Yeah?
11
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,920
Yeah.
12
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,840
Sorry, love. Oh,
don't say sorry, Glen.
13
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,000
Sorry. No, don't say sorry.
14
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:44,400
Just...
You know, because you
15
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,680
just thought you might
like it in public.
16
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,480
So... Yeah, I don't...
17
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,760
I think I wasn't picturing,
like... round the back of Halfords?
18
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,280
No, well, OK, yeah.
19
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:59,400
It has been, erm... It has been
quite a while, hasn't it, now?
20
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,040
Has it?
21
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,840
Yeah. It's not been
since Center Parcs, Glen.
22
00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:06,320
Right.
23
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,960
Yeah, no, that... that
is quite a... Mmm.
24
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,440
I think, you know what it is?
25
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,360
It's probably just
stress, you know. Yeah.
26
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,640
Trying to get the promotion,
all that sort of... Yeah.
27
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,080
It's a blip! It's a blip!
28
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,400
It's a blip, yeah. It
is, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.
29
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,920
Mm.
30
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,840
I should probably get to work.
31
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,360
Yeah. Yes.
32
00:01:30,039 --> 00:01:32,360
Hey. 100 days...
33
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,360
and I shall thee wed.
34
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,160
Pop your penis away, Glen. Oh!
35
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,440
Alright. Love you.
Love you! Yeah.
36
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,800
Hi, there. Welcome to World Of
Carpets at Loughton Retail Village!
37
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,440
My name's Glen. How can
I be helping you today?
38
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,800
Well... I erm...
39
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,480
WE er... erm... Say no more!
40
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,400
Let me show you around.
41
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,280
Sandstone, three-pile,
two-blend twist.
42
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,280
Durable, luxurious and
- don't pass it around -
43
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,240
but I'M getting it for
my high-traffic areas.
44
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,760
My absolute top of the
pops. What do we think?
45
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,320
Erm, maybe we'll go
and think about it.
46
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,240
I get it.
47
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:43,480
Sorry?
48
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,480
It's a bloody carpet. And,
Christ, it's expensive.
49
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,760
The whole house metreage, then with
underlay and installation it's...
50
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,360
Honestly?
51
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,880
You can't get what you're
wanting. Not for your budget.
52
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,640
But what you can
do... is this...
53
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,920
Berber low-pile. In your hallway,
looks just like natural fibres.
54
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,600
Pay that bit more for a quality
underlay and it'll feel as good too.
55
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,400
I won't tell if you won't.
56
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,480
'I know a man that can make you
disappear in seven different countries.'
57
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,720
Ah, Ian, Ian! Hi, I
was wondering- Big Man!
58
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:26,520
Yeah. Uh, I was- Ah, the
old kneel 'n feel, eh? Nice.
59
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,160
Yeah. I was wondering if we
might have that chat today,
60
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,120
about the assistant manager-
Er, da-da-da, sh-shh.
61
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,600
GUNFIRE) Ah-ah-ah.
62
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:41,840
Yeah...
63
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,400
Have you seen this geezer?
64
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,240
Glen... Campbell.
65
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,960
Like the country singer.
66
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,840
He works here.
67
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,880
I just want a "yes" or "no".
That's all I want, my darling.
68
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,279
I'm on work experience.
69
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,240
I'll get the manager.
70
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,720
Right! Oh! Let's take
a look at these prices.
71
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,640
I think you
might be pleasantly surp-
72
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,000
It's like candyfloss.
73
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,600
Should be here soon...
74
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,680
Where do you get this? I want
one. Hi, there. Can I help?
75
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,120
Yes. Have you seen him?
76
00:04:48,159 --> 00:04:50,400
Oops! Sorry?
77
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,960
Verboten! What?
78
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,720
Gonna have to ask you to finish
that outside. Company policy.
79
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,200
Get a lot of piss
heads in here, do ya?
80
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,600
Getting off their
nut over by the lino?
81
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,840
Right. Very good. Now-
82
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,480
See, for all he knows, I've come
in here to buy his whole stock
83
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,600
and he's straight in with
the fucking regulations.
84
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,800
Right, that's quite enough! I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave.
85
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,040
Yeah, well, asking me is
ONE thing but making me
86
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,160
is another thing
altogether, you bald cunt.
87
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,400
Fuck.
Are you alright?
88
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,680
Erm... Erm, yeah.
89
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,280
I'll actually just...
just leave you in...
90
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,000
Brian's very capable hands.
91
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,960
Ooh! Sorry.
92
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,880
Leave this store
immediately. Don't touch me.
93
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,520
Come along! Ahh!
94
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,600
Have you seen him?
95
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,840
Fuck.
96
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,880
Hi, Roger!
97
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,520
Fuuu-
98
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,720
What are you doing here?
99
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,680
I came back to get my
sandwiches. Why are you...
100
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,480
Well, I mean, I got erm...
101
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,640
I got sent home
from work, didn't I?
102
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,200
For the day. What? Why?
103
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,520
Because there was a gas
leak. What, in the whole-
104
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,480
Yeah. In the whole office. Yeah.
105
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,960
And Linda... Linda's
actually fainted.
106
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,280
So... Oh, bloody hell.
107
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,720
Yeah. Get in then, you swine!
108
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,400
Yeah, alright,
yeah. Get in here!
109
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,760
Have you seen? Direct
debits have gone in.
110
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,480
Oh, my God! 15 grand!
111
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,120
We're only 2K off!
112
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,640
Dream wedding, here we come.
Kirsty, not in the bed.
113
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,400
Mum's gonna be so pleased. She can get that
poached salmon she's been banging on about.
114
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,240
Yeah, erm, right, erm, sorry-
115
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,000
Actually, Glen, it
definitely IS her.
116
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,720
Ever since we've given her a
key, we've been going through ham
117
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,120
at an unprecedented rate.
Yeah. I DID think so-
118
00:07:33,159 --> 00:07:35,159
Hang on. You took them. Hmm?
119
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:38,080
This morning. You took them.
I put them in your rucksack?
120
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,040
Right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
But I just... I wanted more.
121
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,840
More sandwiches?
122
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,600
OK, well, that's an awful
lot of gluten, Glen.
123
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,080
Hey, hey! So what we should
do is celebrate, shouldn't we?
124
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,520
Celebrate what? Celebrate
the wedding fund.
125
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,960
You know, yeah, tonight,
maybe get a takeaway,
126
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,520
splash out a bit. Alright.
127
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,200
Yeah, maybe get your favourite
- Tastes Of The World.
128
00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,800
What?! Even though it's a...
129
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,280
♪ Logistical nightmaaaare?
♪ Logistical nightmaaaare ♪
130
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:04,480
Aw, yeah!
131
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:09,160
And then maybe after, we can,
like... make an evening of it.
132
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,160
What? Yeah. Yeah!
133
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,160
So, Linda actually
fainted- Or we could...
134
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,000
Hm? What? Y'know. Now.
135
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,240
You mean...? Only
if you wanted to.
136
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,600
No. Yeah, yeah. Yeah! Yeah?
137
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,480
Sorry, I mean, I WAS just here to
get my ham sandwiches but-Yeah.
138
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,640
About five minutes? Er
ten... ten minutes, yeah.
139
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,960
Yeah. OK.
140
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,360
Mm. Yep.
141
00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:38,039
Kirst, what's in this water?
142
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,760
Oh, no. Oh, no. No. What?
143
00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:42,280
I'm so sorry! What is it?!
144
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,400
No, I didn't mean for
you to drink it, did I?
145
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,400
What is it? I didn't
mean for you to drink it.
146
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,280
OK, because this morning I woke
up and I was really phlegmy-
147
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,800
Oh, my God, Kirsty!
I know. I know.
148
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,120
I'm so sorry! I didn't
mean for you to drink it-
149
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,200
I can feel it going
down! I'm so sorry.
150
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,880
It's sliding down my gullet,
Kirst- Alright, alright!
151
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,360
Calm down, knobhead. I'll
make you a cup of tea.
152
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,920
Take the taste away.
153
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,240
Oh...
154
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,160
Kirst?
155
00:09:18,528 --> 00:09:21,520
I'm calling the police! No,
no, don't do that, love.
156
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,640
Tell her. Tell me what, Glen?
157
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,880
'Scuse me for not standing.
My sciatica was killing me.
158
00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:28,680
Cos I've been on my
trotters all day,
159
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,560
looking for a certain little
twat with a nutty haircut.
160
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,360
Oh, my God! Does he mean YOU?
161
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,640
Why's he saying that? Any
chance of a nice cup of tea?
162
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,800
Kirsty, no, no. What? What's
happening? Is it drugs?
163
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,760
It's drugs, isn't
it? It's drugs!
164
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,200
Leave off! I don't think
crackheads come in beige, do you?
165
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,640
Are you gonna introduce
me or what? No!
166
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,200
Agh! No!
167
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,600
Kirsty, fetch the pepper
spray! What the fuck is that?
168
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,400
Go on, get it, Kirsty!
Get it! I'm getting it!
169
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,400
Are you gonna plunge me
with the objet d'art?
170
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,520
Sorry. I'm sorry, Lee.
But you cannot be here-
171
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:59,200
It's a bit late for that. Listen-
No, no. I don't want to listen.
172
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:03,360
I just wanna ask you- No! Now
get out of my fucking house!
173
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,680
Oh, for fuck's sake! I just
want to talk to you, Glen!
174
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,640
You know each other?
175
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,040
No, not really, no.
Oh, "not really"?
176
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,400
We... We used
to... "We used to"?
177
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,640
Not, not, not, not
any more, actually.
178
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,920
Jesus Christ, you
really ARE a turd.
179
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,480
Spray him, Glen! I
can't get the top off.
180
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:26,120
Fuck me!
181
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,040
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
182
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,240
Canvey Island Holiday Park, '94.
183
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,320
No, no,
take your time.
184
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,000
Take your time. Come on, Glen!
185
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,320
I'm trying! I'm
trying!
186
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,280
Ahhh!
187
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,080
Yeah, alright. I know
where I'm not wanted.
188
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,720
Nice to meet you, my darling.
You keep a lovely home.
189
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,800
What?
190
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,840
That's enough from
you, thanks. Get out!
191
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,800
Oh, dear. And don't
come here again!
192
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,560
Yeah, that's it!
193
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:04,200
...and don't pass it on, but I'm getting
it myself on my high-traffic areas.
194
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,600
My absolute pop of the
top... Pop of the...
195
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,280
Pop of the... Pop...
Pop... Glen, mate!
196
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,880
You see what happened this
morning with that geezer and Ian?
197
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,960
I'm a bit busy, Aysha.
198
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,520
Honestly, fuck my life,
the one time I'm doing work
199
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,120
and I miss him
getting shanked up.
200
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,160
♪ My neck,
my back Who's this now?
201
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,320
♪ Lick my pussy... ♪
Yo!
202
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,360
I'm... I'm really sorry.
203
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,920
OK. Let's talk
underlay- Da-fuck?!
204
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,440
Bro, we was literally
just talking about you!
205
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,640
Yeah, he's here. Yeah, one sec.
206
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,840
Ian, innit.
207
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,160
Hello?
208
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,920
'Glen! You need to
come immediately.'
209
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,560
What? Where?
210
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,440
Ian? Ian, what's going on?
211
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,080
'Oh, God! I'm sorry. I...
I don't know! I don't know!
212
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,320
I can't do this! I-'
213
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,156
'For fuck's sake,
just give me the phone!
214
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,720
Give it here.'
Lovin' your gilet.
215
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,800
'Dagenham, by the
water, where he died.
216
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,840
You know the spot.'
217
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,840
No!
218
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,400
No! Stop! Wait! Wait!
219
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,680
No! No! Stop!
220
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,720
Don't do it!
221
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,800
Do what? Well...
222
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,360
Ki... Kill him?
223
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,120
Kill him?
224
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,440
I've just given him a
cheese twist and a flapjack.
225
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,160
Hello, Glen.
226
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,600
Oh, my God, you bound him?
227
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,360
Well, he did struggle
initially. Only initially.
228
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,880
Ian, I am so sorry. Ian...
But we've been getting on.
229
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,720
And it turns out
he's a lovely fella.
230
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,840
Thank you! Christ,
it's double layered!
231
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,720
He's been opening up
about his marriage.
232
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,560
Sheila and me are going
through a bit of a rough patch.
233
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,480
Yeah, which YOU'D know,
if you'd bothered to ask.
234
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,240
Is he drunk?
235
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:07,640
Just to grease the wheels. My
wheels are... fuckin' greasy!
236
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,080
Oh, my God.
237
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,720
Why would you do this?
238
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,280
I just wanted to get your
attention. My attention?
239
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,240
By kidnapping my boss?! Do
you think that's reasonable?
240
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,960
Think that's normal?
Here we go, look.
241
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,800
Old Panickin' Skywalker.
I told you, didn't I?
242
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,080
Right. Well, everyone's
having a lovely time here.
243
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,600
So I'll just be off. Oh, Glen.
244
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,840
Glen, don't be like that. Glen!
245
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,720
Glen!
246
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,360
Glen! Glen, look you're getting
all mud on your trotters! Look!
247
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,600
I just want to ask
you a question!
248
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,520
No! What?
249
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:42,320
I don't want to hear
your question. I refuse.
250
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,320
Why? Because...
251
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,560
No.
252
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,960
No, no. I've got
a nice life now.
253
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,720
And I won't have it dragged
down into whatever bloody...
254
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,800
After eight years, what gives you
the bloody right to come here-
255
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,640
For fuck's sake,
I'm your brother!
256
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,640
No way!
257
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:00,960
Some brother!
258
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,880
Well, YOU'RE the one
who fucked off to Essex!
259
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,840
How dare you!
260
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,760
I was...
261
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:12,680
I stayed for her, yeah, while you
were off doing fuck knows what!
262
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,800
Oh, here we go!
Yeah. Every day.
263
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,040
Feeding her and getting
her tablets all...
264
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,360
You didn't even have
the decency- Fine!
265
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,120
Forget it.
266
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,320
Hang on.
267
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,400
Sorry, Ian. I'm sorry
you had to hear all that.
268
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,280
Not a problem. I do sort
of need a wee, though.
269
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,480
Come on, then. What is it?
What do you want to ask me?
270
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,560
Don't worry. You said you
didn't want to hear it.
271
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,280
I DO. I DO want to hear it.
And Ian does, too, don't you?
272
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,880
Well, actually, my bladder-
What is it? Come on.
273
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,400
You've come all this way.
You've gone to all this trouble.
274
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,400
You've brought me to
the spot where Dad died.
275
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,760
It's obviously important to
you. Come on, ask me a question!
276
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,440
You got Steve's number?
277
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,000
Steve? Steve.
278
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,320
Steve?! Steve.
Your Uncle Steve.
279
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,640
Except not by blood. But,
you know, Steve Drummond.
280
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,840
You just want... Well, he's
your god-dad, ain't he?
281
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,800
You know, I just thought
you'd know where he is.
282
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,840
Lost touch with him.
I miss the cunt.
283
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,120
But I thought, erm...
284
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,840
No, no, I don't have it.
285
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,400
Right.
286
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,680
Fuck.
287
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,360
Well. You, er... You
look after yourself.
288
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,280
And if you do hear from him,
you WILL let me know, won't ya?
289
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,440
Sure. Yeah. While you're
here, you better get Ian out.
290
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,520
Ooh, thank you.
291
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,040
Ian, I'm so sorry about
this. Let's get you out...
292
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,240
Hang on. What's all this?
Leave that alone, Glen.
293
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,480
No... Leave it
alone. Leave it-
294
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:53,000
Why have you got...? Oh, my
God! Are you living in here?
295
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,040
It's just temporary, right,
until I sort meself out.
296
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,600
Hang on... Hang on. Oh,
my... You brought Dad?!
297
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,480
Put him back. Why
would you bring Dad?
298
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,080
Put him back where he was!
Why have you brought dad, Lee?
299
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,280
Doesn't matter why- Why
would you bring dad, Lee?
300
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,720
Put him back. Why have
you brought-No! No! No!
301
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,760
I'm not gonna ask you again!
Alright! Alright! Alright!
302
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,440
You can't sleep here.
You can stay at mine.
303
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,240
What? Yeah, a
couple of nights.
304
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,680
Get yourself sorted.
Find Steve, whatever.
305
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:20,840
You sure?
306
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,680
If you promise me there's
nothing dodgy going on.
307
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,320
Oh, fuck off! No, no,
no, I mean it! Promise.
308
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,200
Yeah, alright, I
promise. Oh, thank God.
309
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,040
No.
310
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,000
I want you to swear on Dad... that
there's nothing bad why you're here.
311
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,680
I won't be doing that because
that's fucking ridiculous!
312
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,760
No, swear on Dad,
Lee. Fuck off, Glen!
313
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,320
Swear on Dad! No,
because I'm not 12!
314
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,680
Swear on Dad! Those are
the ashes of my father!
315
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,160
Swear on Dad, Lee! No!
316
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,000
Swear on Dad! No, I
won't swear on him! No!
317
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,240
Swear on Dad!
318
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,480
Swear on Dad! Swear on Dad, Lee!
319
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,280
God. Swear on Dad!
320
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,160
Swear on Dad!
321
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,080
Argh! Swear on Dad!
322
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,920
Fucking little prick!
323
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,000
Fucking mug!
324
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,240
Alright! ALRIGHT!
325
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,680
I swear. On Dad. Say it!
326
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,839
Alright! I fucking swear on Dad!
327
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,359
Fucking hell!
328
00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:23,000
Argh!
329
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,839
That's for being a silly bitch.
330
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,440
You fucking...
331
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,680
♪ Everybody's Talkin'
332
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,400
I'll be right with you.
333
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,920
I didn't know
I had so much in me.
334
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,280
Nice gaff you've got,
though, Ian. Yeah, thank you.
335
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,520
What am I gonna say to Kirsty?
336
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,200
Who'd you say I
was after I left?
337
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,720
I said, erm...
338
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,080
...you'd worked for Dad's
haulage company, and...
339
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:05,720
you'd lost your way and fallen
into a spiral of addiction, and...
340
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,720
And? Well, yeah, I had to
think on my feet, didn't I?
341
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,880
What did you say? I
panicked, alright?
342
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,160
What did you say, Glen?
You worked in prostitution!
343
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,800
Fucking hell!
344
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:18,960
Cheers!
345
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,360
I didn't think you'd be
coming back, did I, so...
346
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,760
And it's "sex worker", Glen.
347
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,560
Get your terms right.
348
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,120
Alright, I've got it.
349
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,280
We'll pick up a takeaway
- get her favourite.
350
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,560
What's her favourite?
351
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,080
Spring rolls, lamb bhuna and
a side of popcorn chicken.
352
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:38,000
It's a logistical nightmare
but it'll do the trick.
353
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,200
Sheila! Shove your throw
cushions up your arse!
354
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,040
Just charm her.
355
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,280
Say something nice
about her fringe.
356
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,600
Her fringe? It's
always the fringe.
357
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,240
You know, just say it like
it "really frames her face".
358
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,000
Something like that.
359
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,560
No, sorry. She's YOUR
fiancee. You know best.
360
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,280
You're a top man, Glen.
You're a bigger man than ME.
361
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,320
Not literally, obviously.
362
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,200
Probably cos Mum smoked while
she was pregnant. Fucking what?
363
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,920
There he is. Fuck off!
364
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,840
The old Angry Beaver.
365
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,240
Ah, you don't change,
you, do ya? Fuck you!
366
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,360
Oi! Get away from
my bin! Fuck you, Phil!
367
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,600
Wazzock!
368
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,920
Shall we...
369
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,120
No. Let's go.
370
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,360
Sheila!
371
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,160
♪ A promise I make,
a promise I make
372
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,880
♪ Starting to take,
starting to take ♪
373
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,360
Alright, love! Sorry
I'm so late. ♪ Babe... ♪
374
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,400
Look who's back in
town. My bloody...
375
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,400
♪ Rhinestone Cowboy ♪
376
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,160
She has
had a few drink, OK,
377
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,960
while she's been
waiting for you.
378
00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,000
A little couple of glasses of
vino di rosso de tinto ma bebe.
379
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,680
Yeah. Ha-ha. Sorry, Kirst,
there's something I need to-
380
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,480
What is that? Tastes
Of The World, innit.
381
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,400
Eee...
382
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,000
You got my favourite!
383
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,040
Even though it's a... ♪
logistical nightmaaaaare ♪
384
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:18,200
Yeah, there's something I need to-
Cos you gotta get the poppadoms!
385
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,000
Kirsty, if I could-
386
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,280
No! No!
387
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,880
Alright? Glen! What the fu-
388
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,400
It's not, erm... He's,
er- Why is he here?
389
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,800
This is Lee. Nice to meet ya.
390
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,040
He's gonna be staying
with us for a bit.
391
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,600
Are you fucking insane?!
392
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,680
He broke into our home!
What are you thinking?!
393
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,880
It's only for tonight. Glen,
you said he was a sex worker.
394
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,360
Told ya.
395
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,760
Kirsty, erm- Oh,
right! Oh, no!
396
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,960
Oh, is it... Are you
two- Christ! No! No!
397
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,920
No, it's not that!
Fucking joking!
398
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,600
Oh, my God... Kirsty!
399
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,440
Kirsty, Kirsty, Kirsty-
No! You get back!
400
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,280
You get back! Listen to
me. Kirsty, listen to me!
401
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,760
Kirsty! Kirsty! He's my brother!
402
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,360
OK.
403
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:15,080
OK, sure. Yeah, sure he is.
404
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:17,840
Because, you famously
have absolutely no family
405
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,640
and he looks... oh, literally
nothing like you, Glen.
406
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,960
Oh, no, it's totally
plausible that he's your bro-
407
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,200
Remember?
408
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,800
What's he doing?
409
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,520
Canvey Island Talent Show, 1994.
410
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,120
Oh.
411
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,160
What...?
412
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,080
You got the tunes?
413
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,360
You got the spoons?
414
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,640
Can somebody please tell me
what the fuck is going on?
415
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,040
Moving On Up
416
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,800
Right?
417
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,360
♪ Cos I'm movin' on up
418
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,480
♪ You're movin' on out
419
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,360
♪ Movin' on up
420
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,240
♪ Nothin' can stop me
421
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,760
♪ Movin' on up
422
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,840
♪ You're movin' on out
423
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,720
♪ Time to break free
424
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,640
♪ Nothin' can stop me
425
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:23,800
♪ Movin'
426
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:25,920
♪ Movin'
427
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,920
♪ Movin'
428
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,560
♪ Nothin' can stop me
429
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:45,960
What the fuck?
430
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,320
Oh, my God.
431
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,200
I better get Dad on
the radiator. Yeah.
432
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:02,800
I'm... I'm so sorry,
Kirsty, but...
433
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,080
♪ I got the poppadoms! ♪
434
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,440
Fuck you. Do you hear me?
435
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,680
I'm gone. So call them off.
436
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,680
It's over.
437
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,040
♪ Yes, I'm comin' down...
438
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,400
I keep meaning to
say, love, your, er...
439
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,360
your fringe...
440
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,080
really frames your face.
441
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,880
♪ I'm comin' down,
down, down, down, down!
442
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,280
♪ Comin' down with a heartache
443
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,920
♪ I ain't sick but I got a fever
444
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,720
♪ Blood pressure's running high
445
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,640
♪ Pulse ain't right,
I can't sleep at night
446
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,600
♪ And here's the reason why
447
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,440
♪ I'm comin' down,
down, down, down, down!
448
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,320
♪ Comin' down with a heartache ♪
449
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:18,800
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