Original subtitles

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

1 Oh, my God, you're proposing to Tina?

There's a whisper campaign

that a good number of our readers are homosexuals.

A bathhouse... more men than we know what to do with.

I don't see how this slots into a women's magazine.

But we need to be friends.

- No more... you know. - I love friends.

Friends are the family you choose,

and you don't have sex with family.

Let me introduce you to my new friend Doreen.

- Professor Merim. - Wait, you're Professor Merim?

Oh, God.

You brought Constance in.

You pitched her the global vision.

- And you should run the thing. - Ah.

I'm going to be running the entire

Minx International Division.

Hey, why didn't you tell me about Minx International?

Constance made me promise not to tell anybody.

Well, I'm not anybody, okay?

Would you mind signing this for me?

I can't live like this, Ma!

Yeah, run away, you little shit.

Just like your father.

Where do you think you're going?

Are you going to that hussy's house?

You make me sick.

Three... four, five...

six... fuck!

How are there so many?

Why did we do a car issue?

Maybe it was an accident.

It doesn't matter.

It was vehicular manslaughter.

Ugh, we got him with his dick draped over the murder weapon.

I don't know, these just don't look

like the eyes of a mom-slaughterer.

How are we supposed to fill these?

Our print deadline's at midnight.

Maybe Joyce has a fix.

Oh, wait, she's at that thing

in the woods with Tina and Constance.

No phones.

Should we call...

I've been thinking about Dad lately.

Doug Renetti.

In the moment, they seemed like

adjustments, you know, just small compromises,

but then when I saw that Rolling Stone cover,

I realized I've been heading in a direction I never intended...

- Going the wrong way. - Exactly.

Oh.

What would I do without you?

Die of dehydration at the bottom of a ravine?

Anyway, all that to say

that I know I've been a little hard to pin down lately,

but I'm rededicating myself to the cause.

You have my complete focus on launching Minx International.

You know, I think if we get the right editors in place,

we could really change the world.

I just want to see the world.

I'm gonna move to Paris,

show my mom porn really does pay.

How'd it go with Doug?

What, when I told him about Minx International?

Good. He was happy for me.

Kinda mad I didn't tell him sooner.

Well, I'm thrilled.

You know, I just...

I never should've promised him the job

before checking with Constance.

That was... I just got ahead of myself there.

It was my mistake.

Right.

Well, I mean, how would you have known

she'd already offered it to me?

And Doug's totally on board.

A win for me is a win for us.

Great.

Uh, this really is quite, uh...

are we really gonna ask everybody

to tramp through the woods like this?

Constance said the interview begins the moment they arrive.

It's how we see the whole woman.

Ah, my rancheritas.

Just coming to check on your progress.

We got a long, long climb ahead of us.

Chip, chop! Hey!

- Okay, we should... - Okay.

- We should hustle. - Yep.

Your property is breathtaking, Constance.

It's so kind of you to host.

Rancho Peregrino is where Yorgi and I made

all our important decisions.

Little hacienda up in the clouds,

far from the clack and clang.

Could we have driven up here?

Oh, sure, but then you wouldn't have had the whole experience.

Oh, come on. One murder? This is nothing.

Yeah, but if we miss our deadline,

something bad with numbers happens that only Tina understands.

We don't need Tina or Joyce.

The three of us used to put out issues in a tight 45.

That is vintage Bottom Dollar, right?

So what do we gotta do, fill 12 pages?

Richie, what do we got to pull up?

Shelly's still recovering from her trip back east.

Maybe Bella can swoop in and save the day.

LaRouche. I love it. A couple ads for Minx merch.

Maybe throw in a retrospective,

replay some of our centerfolds...

Over my dead body.

Hey, there are no bad ideas.

Yes, there are.

Okay, well, what do you got?

I mean, we just did a double issue.

Every idea went...

God closes a door, opens a glory hole.

The bathhouse. Set already exists.

We can book the models on-site, shoot a half dozen setups.

- In and out, four hours max. - And everyone gets a schvitz.

This is what I'm talking about.

Great. Bambi, activate the phone tree.

Emerald Springs in Silver Lake.

- On it. - And I'll call and I'll make 'em an offer so big

that it'll dick-slap the "no" right out of their mouths.

D-don't say that, though.

Goose bumps, you know?

All these women from every corner of the globe

here to spread our message to the masses.

Okay, uh, where should we start?

Mission statements, bios...

Constance had something a bit more unconventional in mind.

Super.

I'm all ears.

Ladies.

Bienvenidas. Willkommen. Welcome.

We are so eager to get to know you over a lovely meal.

Please open your baskets.

Is this an earring?

I know you may have been expecting ham

or peanut butter and jelly,

but everything you need to improvise

a beautiful woodland feast is right before you.

Bon appétit.

Um, are you sure they're gonna go for this?

These girls are hungry for a shot at running their own magazine,

just like you used to be.

Yeah. Yeah.

I guess I would've eaten bugs for that.

There is normal food for us, though, right?

Hey, Bambs, has somebody been using my office?

Yeah, Constance set up shop

while you were out with your sleeping sickness.

Owner's name is Walt. Give him the moon.

You got it.

Hi, Daniel. We're going to the baths.

No, for work.

Rex murdered his mom... allegedly.

Emerald Springs. Walt speaking.

Hey, Walt, this is Doug Renetti over at Minx magazine.

We're in a bit of a pickle,

and I-I think you're just the guy

who can get us out of the jar.

What can I do for you, Mr. Renetti?

I'm s-I'm sorry, can you hold for just one moment?

Of course.

Thank you.

So this is all a metaphor

for the-the trials of the editorial process.

No, it's not a metaphor for anything.

It's to see if they can make lunch in the woods.

You know, delegation, communication, coalition building.

That is an obvious disqualification. She's cheating.

Or she just came prepared.

I'd kill for a BLT.

Of course, as we move into Europe,

I'd love to explore each region's feminist forbears.

You know, your Hildegard of Bingens...

oh, how could I forget Argula von Grumbach...

Shh!

Oh!

You caught something!

I wonder what...

Was rabbit.

What an illuminating session.

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely.

I just, uh, have some questions

about, uh... I don't know, anything...

... related to actually editing a magazine.

Um, Tina, you must have a few questions

about their basic math skills?

Sure, I could ask them a question or two about budgets.

That's a death cap, love.

- See, I like her. - Me too.

She gave me half her sandwich

and a recommendation letter from Princess Margaret.

Come on, we have 24 incredible women here.

We want to make sure we're choosing the right ones.

Agreed.

And we're down to 20.

Three quit. One is unaccounted for.

- Uh... - Oh, don't worry.

We gave them whistles.

Oh, thank you so much for doing this.

Oh!

Are you kidding? The boys love Minx.

Most of them flipped when I told them you were on your way.

Word travels fast.

All right.

Anyone willing to show their face

and pecker to the world, follow me to the pool.

And for those who want to keep their privates private,

we have snacks and poppers in the lounge.

Is this where people have sex?

It's a locker room. So yes.

Oh, fun.

Ah, thanks for hustling in

last-minute, Shelly, honestly.

Now, I know you have your hands full at the moment,

but I need to read what you have as soon as you finish.

I've never written on a deadline before.

I'm not sure if I can bang it out.

Well, I'm already adopting the lingo.

- Whatever. We're desperate. - Oh.

Come on, boys. Paradise awaits.

I need to talk to you.

Connie is a butcher, Tins.

She's just being nice to our faces.

She's just fattening us up so she can unload us.

Can't you see that?

Look. Look at what I got.

If you don't believe me, look.

She left this in my office.

It's just a bunch of numbers with...

is that the word "closure"?

Disclosure. It has to be disclosure.

And that's what you need to file in order to sell.

She is going to fuck us.

Okay. Say it's true.

Why would Constance leave that in your trash can?

Because there's nothing we can do.

The deal's already over.

So flying in a bunch of up-and-comers,

hosting them in her home,

right before she sells the company?

Look, I can tell you're not taking me seriously, Tins,

but there is something fishy with this woman,

and you have to help me stop her.

You been drinking with your bird again?

No.

Well, that doesn't prove anything.

You're grasping at straws.

- It does... - Yoo-hoo!

I found these in the garret, and I think that...

Douglas, I didn't realize you'd be joining us.

Oh, no, I-I forgot my toiletry bag,

and he just brought it.

Now he's leaving.

- You got everything you need? - I do.

- Okay. Sorry to interrupt. - Thanks, babe.

I'll let you guys get back to it.

- Okay. - Bye.

Um, just over... hi.

Oh.

Oh! Excuse me greatly.

That's a lot of business.

Ope, four's company.

Mary, you look lost.

Is there a place I could do a little typing,

you know, undisturbed?

Oh, you're with the magazine.

- I got just the spot. - Okay.

You should come back on Thursday for ladies' night.

Bring your girlfriend.

Oh, um, I don't have a girlfriend.

You and me both.

Chris Isherwood comes once a week,

mostly for sex, but he's always inspired after.

Oh.

You might want to take a walk every 15 minutes,

- get some fresh air. - Okay, great. Thank you.

Hey, hey, no touching.

Can you all just... Bambi?

- Here to do my job. - Can you tell the guys

to keep their hands to themselves?

We gotta leave room for imagination.

Sex negative. Got it.

Hey, why am I still seeing shadows?

Because this was a last-minute shoot

and I'm not a magician.

Fine, I'll get another light.

Hi. Everything's on schedule.

Should be out of your hair in no time.

Hey, no touching!

Yeah, you're, uh, really doing a number on this place.

You know, I only said yes to the huckster on the phone

because I thought with one of us

behind the camera, we'd be in good hands.

No, you are.

I've been prepping this for months.

If all you wanted was tubs and tiles,

you could've just shot at the YMCA.

I wanted to bring people to the baths,

but Minx readers have an expectation.

We have to maintain a certain look.

- A house style. - As-as do we.

Um, and I thought you were here to capture that.

Mm, you're the expert.

Psst. Prigger. Prigger.

Doug. What are you doing here?

Something is brewing.

We're all in danger.

- Danger from what? - From Constance.

She's stripping Bottom Dollar for parts.

We're on the block.

You need to help me stop her before it's too late, okay?

Okay, Doug, that's... that's not what's...

That's what's happening. Please.

Okay. Just hang on.

Thank you.

I know that you've had some disappointment,

and a certain amount of that is my responsibility...

This is not about you. Can't you see what's happening?

She's taking control. She's boxing us out.

Yeah, it's her company.

But it-but it's still my magazine.

And she's taking it places that I never even dreamed possible.

And yeah, okay, maybe she doesn't need you

holding her hand anymore, but that doesn't mean

that you're not wanted, that you're not essential.

So she got to you too, huh?

Okay, Doug, I think you should do yourself a favor.

Um, we're in a beautiful place.

Why don't you go for a walk

and take in the mountain air, you know?

Ah, for fuck's sake.

... "going all the way back

to those hazy childhood fixations,

the dolls again."

Ugh, Siggy Freud over here.

"The memory became a siren's call,

a melody Bella couldn't"... no.

"Desire is an iceberg." No.

"With each crunch of the yellowing leaves,

Bella could smell something different."

Hmm. I'll allow it.

I think I might head out.

Come on, you're no fun.

Mick, please.

The humidity is starting to fritz our gear.

We have ten minutes max.

Just keep wiping it down, okay? We'll...

Hey, boys, come on.

- We're about to shoot. - Yeah, me too.

Hey, um, are you sure this is what you want?

No. No, none of it is.

I just... I need...

Go for a schvitz. You've earned it.

You don't need me to stay and help?

No, no, no, you've been great.

Thank you.

Minx, out. Models only.

All right.

All right.

I don't understand why we shy away from reality.

As beauty editor at Vogue UK,

I know women have to look a certain way

to trick men into opening the doors

we haven't yet smashed ourselves.

I've always found charm more effective than a hammer.

We identified several corporate partners...

Estée Lauder, Burberry, Dr. Thinsmore...

that can give women the tools they need

to transform themselves with style.

- Don't forget the free samples. - Love free samples.

I have a couple questions about Dr. Thinsmore...

... though.

Okay, let's try something different.

All right, you two.

Yeah, perfect. Exactly. Keep that.

Keep that. Love.

Gorgeous.

Hey, I like this little moment here.

Oh, great. This feels really natural.

Okay, give me your profile.

Give me a smiley one.

Yeah, that's beautiful! I love that.

Yeah. Okay, look at me.

Oh, I love you two together.

Can you look over there, please?

Gorgeous.

You know, I actually spent the winters

with my Grandpa Heinrich in Argentina.

So if you decide to conquer the Southern Cone,

hablo español también.

Was he born there, or did he hide...

The past should stay in the past.

Ah, see, the spirits concur.

Could you grab another log?

Nothing bigger than your arm.

Sure.

Quite the system you have.

My nightly tradition with Yorgi.

Um...

you know, I'm-I'm glad that,

uh, we've got a moment out here,

just the two of us, because, um...

Because you have some concerns about the girls.

I just want to make sure that we are on the same page

about the kind of women that we're choosing.

Well, it's a process, Joyce,

and there's bound to be disagreements.

Minx is a publication that has a real point of view.

Politics, culture, sexuality.

So why are we grasping at low-hanging fruit?

We need to hire women who stay true to our values

as well as to their own.

Let-let's hire people that have something meaningful to say.

You know, one of my favorite things about you

is that you always tell people exactly how you feel.

Put together a dream list, and I promise you,

I will take it under serious consideration.

Oh, thank you, Constance. That is such a relief.

Thank you.

- Do the honors. - All right.

Ah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful.

Can you get closer together?

Hey, hey, no running by the pool!

You can't go in there!

God, not again.

Wh-what's happening?

- LAPD! - Cops. Hide!

- Stay where you are! - Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Hey, hey. Hey, you. Stop running.

What's going on?

Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry!

No!

Okay.

Stop running! Stop running!

Got a runner over here!

Gotta... oh.

I didn't fucking do anything!

Put your hands behind your back!

Hey, hey, stop. Stop.

Um... oh!

Okay.

Come on in. Vapor's fine.

The cops are here!

Yeah, I guess pigs need a bath too.

But what are they doing? I mean, it's...

it's not like anyone's breaking the law.

Just put the wedge under the door.

You'll be fine.

Mm...

It's real.

What are you talking about?

All the proof we need.

The proof that you asked for. It's real.

Did you steal that from Constance?

She doesn't lock her doors.

- Her casa is mi casa. - Okay.

- That's not what that means. - Just look.

She dissolved Bottom Dollar. We're history.

She's forming a new company.

Well, maybe Bottom Dollar's outlived its usefulness.

What?

Tins, the-the bones of what we built are gone

without even a fucking funeral.

I don't understand, how is it so easy for you to let go

of everything we built together?

It wasn't really together, was it?

You didn't promote me for over a decade

while I helped build your company.

Because you were my partner!

Why can't you be happy for me?

So you're choosing Constance over me, huh?

No.

I'm choosing me over you.

Okay, is that really necessary?

I'm just trying to relax. I haven't had the greatest day.

Really? When I peeked in the shoot,

you seemed to be doing your Bambi thing.

That was just an act.

I mean, I've been grasping at something for months.

I just don't know what.

When I first stepped into Bottom Dollar, I mean,

it was magic.

It was like a spark.

No matter what I did, it never felt like a job, but...

today just felt like work.

Well, get in line, missy.

I wasn't even supposed to be here today.

I specifically requested time off this month

because fiction seems a little trite

when you're, I don't know, questioning your entire life,

but then Richie dragged me here,

and now I'm rushing to write a story

I don't even know how to tell yet.

Go on.

What are you doing?

- I'm just trying to help. - No, no, no.

You're doing the... you're doing that thing that you do to me.

What thing?

That thing where you take my picture,

and all of a sudden, I'm spending

a week in Poughkeepsie,

lying to Lenny about a last-minute invitation

to an erotica conference in Saratoga Springs.

How is that my fault?

You unleashed something in me!

I didn't ask for any of this.

Shelly, you're not powerless.

No one's making you do anything.

Okay. Isn't that enough?

Yes, it is.

You called all the shots in our relationship.

Then you're the one who said you wanted to be friends,

and then you totally pulled away.

That's not... I didn't...

I just tried to confide in you, and you didn't even see it.

You just see the Bambi that you invented.

Everyone does that to me.

I'm sorry.

I'm done pretending.

Me too.

Back the fuck up before I beat your ass.

Vito!

No! Get away!

Let go! Let go!

Come on! There's a side door. We can make a run for it.

"I know these words may rattle some, but...

... 'lesbian' sets me loose.

A boat untethered,

free.

To thine own self, Bella, be true."

- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com -