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Who are those people,

and why do they keep taking our picture?

That's Rolling Stone, and they're here today

doing a feature on Bottom Dollar.

I didn't come here to write about Bottom Dollar or Minx.

I came here to write about you.

There's a whisper campaign that a good number of our readers

- are homosexuals. - Isn't it better

if our work is interesting to all kinds of people?

We have advertisers that are paying

specifically to reach women.

Tonight, ladies choose their partners.

Len, I was, um, thinking about going back to Minx.

Oh. It's about time.

I would like you to consider it

my application to be your secretary.

But I need you to come up with more ideas for Minx.

I've gotten everything I've ever wanted,

and it's happened so fast.

Have you ever considered that maybe

you are exactly where you belong?

Ow!

I could've sworn I set my wake-up call for noon.

Oh.

I can send up the concierge if you would prefer.

You do know that I have a thing for a man with a comb-over.

Did I tell you this?

Come here.

I am very late.

I have back-to-back meetings.

You're not gonna look very professional

without your knickers on, are you?

Just saying. Do you want these back?

Mm...

We're shooting the album cover today.

I could use your eye.

If you want to add another shoot to my schedule,

then I am going to require payment in advance.

Oh. Well, that can be arranged.

- All right. - Yeah.

You got five minutes.

- Five minutes? - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, but what if I want to, you know...

Okay, 25.

Jogging!

That's three days this week.

43 minutes. It's my personal best.

I'm telling you,

you gotta try this jogging thing.

You really do. This is the...

well, it's the healthiest I've ever felt in my whole life.

Hey, boss.

I covered your office windows

so no one can sneak a peek of...

... Secret Project X.

Sorry, Rita. It's a secret.

We know.

- Doug? - Mm?

As your probationary secretary,

can I ask you a question about Secret Project X?

You can ask me anything.

Um, does it have to be a secret?

I mean, wouldn't it be more fun

if people knew what they were excited about?

Well, it's about, you know, keeping people guessing,

so that's kind of the idea.

Oh, but...

they're not.

Well, maybe not out loud, Bambs, but...

but inside, they are.

I mean, look at them.

They've got an itch inside their brains,

and they don't know how to scratch it.

But none of these people matter anyhow, right?

We've got an audience of one,

and when Connie sees what we are cooking up,

we're gonna be writing our own ticket.

And then I'll officially be your gal Friday?

Absolutely... we pull this off,

you're gonna get a raise and benefits.

Yes!

Oh, but can I still do my own dental?

Yeah, whatever you want.

I can't believe it's real!

It just needs Bella's signature.

And also, you need to trim about 100 words

'cause I don't want to mess with the design.

Oh.

Maybe lose the bit

about Bella finding the earring?

What? It's the soul of the piece.

Ugh, you really are a writer.

Yeah!

Oh, it feels great to be back.

I have missed this place.

Aw. Well, we missed you too.

A lot of people here care about you,

and you sort of disappeared on us.

Well, I... I needed to figure some stuff out, you know?

Mm. Like Bella?

And her escapades seem to have brought some stability.

And adventure.

Yeah, Bella's been around the block now.

Those San Marino blocks are long and leafy.

You don't know the half of it.

But Bella started her journey

through some other neighborhoods too.

Ones with more experimental architecture.

Think she's tempted to revisit those?

Well, Bella is in a... a better place

with her husband, Gian-Paul,

and uh, Bella needs to focus on her work

while at work

and nothing else.

Do you get what I'm saying? I'm not good at this.

No, I get it.

♪ But I woke up this morning ♪

♪ With that taste in my mouth ♪

- Oh, what's going on here? - Oh, nothing.

Just finishing up some stuff for tonight.

Oh, right. Your secret special something.

- What time is it again? - Uh...

Doors open at 8:00.

Don't worry if you can't make it.

You work hard, you play hard.

You deserve a quiet night in.

No, I can spare 90 minutes.

That's just an estimate.

I didn't factor in applause breaks.

Okay, you mind heading in and finishing up?

Yeah. But all good, Prigger.

I mean, Connie's coming tonight,

and those are really the only eyes I need,

so honestly, don't worry about it.

- Uh-uh. - Okay.

Okay.

- Hey! - Oh, hi! Mwah!

Oh, both cheeks! That's new.

Maybe I'll use that for Bella.

- Oh, you should! - Yeah.

Listen, um, I'm just popping in.

I'm gonna drop these off,

and then I'm gonna go meet Constance in Beverly Hills.

Oh, excuse me.

- Field trip with the boss? - Mm-hmm.

Somebody's making an impression.

I think she just wants to give me notes

on the August issue in her, you know, natural habitat.

But anyway, it's so good that you're back.

Oh, well, it feels great.

Everything got so shiny.

- I know. - Right?

Oh, did you look at those revisions?

No, not yet, but I will.

I'm just... you know, I'm swamped.

There's just... there's so much going on here,

and... and I... I'm trying to write my book,

and I have the... the renovations on the new condo...

And?

Plus crashing at the Margaux, yes,

so I'm just getting no sleep.

Now, is that the hotel's fault

or your rock star boyfriend?

He's not my boyfriend. He is just...

The famous musician you're shacking up with.

I cannot believe this is my life

and not some story that I'm writing in my head.

It's wild! It's almost as wild as Bella.

Where do you come up with that stuff?

Oh, well, actually...

Does my hair look okay, by the way?

I did not have time to wash it this morning

because I was having sex.

Yes, yes.

It looks perfect.

I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.

Okay, I hope you can uh, read my notes.

They got a little bit smudged.

Whiskey and, uh...

... mint chip.

What a Wednesday.

Well, I learned from the best.

Yes, you did. Okay, I call it...

... Good Clean Fun.

Oh, your dream shoot.

Okay, I am ready. Tell me everything.

A bathhouse, West Hollywood.

More men that we know what to do with.

A bathhouse? Very sexy.

Okay, what's the angle?

Okay.

Communal bathing.

Men lounging, reading, playing board games.

It's an exploration of the male form

without artifice, out in the wild.

Huh.

Do you think it might be too, um...

... straightforward for Minx?

It's real.

You know, actual male desire.

Totally.

Yeah.

It's, uh, it's... it's very, um...

Maybe I can, um, think on it. Okay.

Richie's been waiting weeks to pitch this to you.

We've already rescheduled twice.

- We have to pull the trigger. - Yeah.

I just... I don't see how, um,

this slots into a women's magazine.

What if, you know, it's not in a bathhouse?

What if it's the same,

but just, you know, somewhere else?

Then it would be different.

I think that we should put a pin in it

and we should think about

something more aspirational, okay?

Our centerfolds are the ultimate fantasy.

For our female readers.

Sounds like you have a very clear vision.

Any fixes?

Uh...

... what about backstage?

A-a stolen moment with a rock star in his dressing room?

Wow. Lightning strikes.

How'd you come up with that one?

I guess I'll go find us a rock star.

Didn't your mama ever teach you how to turn someone down?

My mother? No.

My mother...

My mother wasn't around for that kind of stuff.

Not something you want to talk about?

No, not really.

Well, my mama is a serious bitch,

and she taught me that

if you don't like something, you just say no.

- Who says I didn't like it? - You, in 40 ways.

Body language, tone of voice, even the way

you keep scratching the back of your head.

Okay, I feel observed.

You think it's nicer,

but it only makes everything worse.

Just be direct.

By the way, I've looked over your work expenses.

Mm-hmm?

14 valet stubs from the Margaux.

I'm living out of a suitcase.

I... I... I need a place to work.

You have an office.

I'm not accepting these.

- Yeah, but I'm staying... - No.

See how easy that was?

Not a problem.

Bella quivered

as Gian-Paul shivered.

Ooh, that's good.

- Shel. - Hi, Doug.

Can I talk to you?

That Bella LaRouche stuff is sexy stuff.

It really is.

I didn't expect it from a Prigger.

Oh, well, I've always had a wild imagination.

Imagination... she's married to an orthodontist from La Cañada.

It's actually San Marino, so...

Either way, I need a little bit of that sexiness

on my special project.

My copy could use a spark.

Well, my spark doesn't come cheap.

How's a hundred bucks and a peek on the inside?

I'm in.

Shellfish!

You're gonna be working pretty closely

- with Bambs on this one. - You know what?

I'm on a deadline, actually, so I should just...

Oh, come on. It's an afternoon, and that's...

Well, that's really all the time we've got.

So I'm gonna lock you two girls in this room,

and please make some magic.

Magic's on hold. We have a huge problem.

The archdiocese said we can't use their venue anymore.

Oh, no. I guess it's all falling apart.

- I'll just get back to... - No, no.

Just a little speed bump. It's a hiccup.

- Everything's gonna be just fine. - I'm so sorry.

You give me one thing to do,

and I already screwed it up.

Oh, Bambi, it's fine.

I'll have a new venue by lunch.

But here's what I need you girls to do:

just stay in this room and grind it out

until you make something great together, okay?

Please.

Sorry, appointment only.

She has one.

- This is Betty, the designer. - Hi.

My latest discovery.

An all-female staff confronting the sartorial ennui

of the working women's wardrobe.

Right. Uh...

okay, well, while I agree

that professional women do need more clothing options,

I wonder if uh, fashion coverage is beyond the scope of...

No, we're not here for the magazine.

We're actually here for you.

I'll grab the second rack.

A little wardrobe rethink.

Multiple racks?

Didn't realize my wardrobe was so stale.

Oh, you have beautiful style. You do.

It just needs to catch up to the woman that you've become

and the magazine that you've elevated so beautifully.

Okay. That's very kind.

Thank you, Constance, but it's...

I actually put a lot of thought into what I wear.

Right.

Navy suits and pussy bows, they got you here,

but you do not need to dress like a man

to earn the respect of one.

Mm-mm.

Not anymore.

Surely, there is something here that catches your eye.

Huh.

What a figure!

See, I had a feeling.

Y... yeah.

It feels like a bit of a departure.

No one at your level

is claiming sexuality and intelligence

with equal confidence.

We can be powerful and feminine.

Give our girls something to aspire to.

See, I had to make this all up as I went along.

And boy, do I have the scars to prove it.

Let me ease your path a little.

I have loved having you to look to.

It's not something I'm used to.

And I have really enjoyed having a smart younger woman to fuss over.

No one is gonna force you to do something

that you don't want to do.

Ah.

Why don't you wear this out, see how you feel?

If you don't like it, we'll scrap the whole thing.

You know what?

I think we might have room after all.

Bring back one of those chunky books for her to read.

Hmm. I call it Backstage Ass.

She's not dumb. This can't be in the magazine.

Honey, lift up your chin a little bit.

Less bored, more judgmental.

You don't care how hard he worked on that song.

You're at 90% fuck you.

You need to bring this thing down to about ten.

Only 90?

Hey, Danny, fly in that typewriter.

She wants everyone to know how busy she is.

Oh, um, typewriting costs extra.

- Richie? - Excuse me.

What?

We both know I should be shooting Bathhouse right now.

She's the boss, remember?

Joyce and I used to have a dialogue.

Now it feels like a lecture.

I understand your frustration.

If you can't do this concept, just scrap the shoot.

We'll go with a retrospective.

Easy.

The magazine isn't even a year old.

That's creative bankruptcy.

Telling your boss to go screw herself is career suicide.

Don't sweat it.

I already pulled some goofy, behind-the-scenes shots.

- We can just... - Stop hurting me.

Okay.

I'll figure it out.

What?

No, I swear.

I thought I was done, but she kept squealing,

so I shoved both my hands back inside

and pulled out another piglet.

Oh, my God.

The things that happen to you on the 405.

Oh, I have missed these stories.

Oh, my God, and look how fast the work went.

Is there anything else? Are we...

- No, I think that's it. - Okay.

Should we have sex now?

Oh, n... no. Uh, but... no.

I... um, I... I can't do that again.

I just thought with you coming back here, just...

Yeah, well, I'm...

Bambi, I'm back, but we need to be friends.

No more... you know.

- Orgasms. - Yes, that.

Or any associated behaviors.

That's okay.

I love friends.

Friends are the family you choose,

and you don't have sex with family.

Unless it's your stepsibling.

And even then, you have to keep it a secret

because of his political career.

I just want you to be happy.

Oh, I am. I'm very happy.

Good.

So am I.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Yeah, you've got a lot of girls out there that'll wanna see this.

That's nice. That's great.

That's excellent.

David, shoot more toward the camera.

Hey, Graham. Eyes over here.

My day opened up.

Let's get you in the shot.

Hey, Andy, let's get her in the shot.

She already is.

We're on the clock, hon'. Budge up.

Oh, yeah. Totally get it.

Yes, um, where do you want me to...

Um, yeah, you should go over there.

Back there in the gazebo, cabana thing.

- Hi, I'm... - Joyce Prigger.

- Yeah, that's me. - Fun.

- You writing a story? - Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I could be if there's, you know, one to tell.

You want any nuggets included?

Just make it clear

Carrie and Neil are very happy together.

- Mm-hmm. - Groupies are always circling.

Move quick if you want a drink.

They devour everything.

Well, you're just in time 'cause we're all out.

- There you go. - Mm, thank you.

- Love your dress. - Thank you.

Um, so...

We're with Graham.

He wanted our eyes on this.

Did he?

And how do you know Graham?

I was at this party and got invited onstage to play the shakers.

You don't say?

He told her that she had the best rhythm

- of any girl he'd ever met. - Stop.

Joyce, my minx,

you want something from the kitchen?

We're putting in an order.

- Um... - Oh, my God.

- You're the Minx lady? - Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God!

My mom loves your magazine.

Your mom? That is great.

That's so... that's so great.

We have a lot of older, um, readers.

- How old is your mom? - 32 next week.

And you're dating Graham?

Uh, would definitely not say dating.

So what about you?

I mean, what is Joyce Prigger doing in the fun time cabana?

You know, that is a great question.

♪ Listen to the music ♪

♪ Listen to the music ♪

- Hey. - Hi.

VIPs this way.

♪ Listen to the groove, yeah ♪

Ooh, Joyce!

Looking good.

Tina! Oh, I am touched.

- Don't make me regret the compliment. - Oh.

- Isn't she stunning? - Mm-hmm.

How do you feel?

Like myself.

You were right. You were right.

Thank you for the push.

Aw, that's my girl.

All right, a toast.

Doug even got me my favorite. Drambuie.

Oh, thank you.

Cheers.

What do you think this is?

Mm.

Ladies and gentleladies, the show is about to begin...

That is strong.

... and so please take your seats and clear your minds,

because the journey starts now.

And that's why I deserve a raise.

Quit yer yappin'!

Hike up that skirt and show me those legs.

Where's my dinner?

You promised me ham!

If God wanted your opinion,

he would've made you a man.

Et tu, padre?

Oh!

It's so hard being a woman in 1973.

If only there was a way to make a change.

I said, if only there was a way

to make a change!

A dirty lamp?

A woman's job is never done.

A magic genie?

I'm here to grant you three wishes.

Hmm, wow.

I guess my first wish would be to find a man who gets it.

Your wish is my command...

at Club Minx!

That's right, ladies!

Welcome to the club where you come first and often!

♪ When you gonna wake up ♪

Don't worry about dinner tonight,

because what Maurice has cooking is piping hot!

Don't get your panties in a bunch.

Ivan's here to take 'em off...

... and iron them.

♪ Hollywood high ♪

♪ Hollywood high ♪

Oh...

Are you feeling underappreciated, ladies?

Well maybe tonight Nestor can help,

'cause he's gonna take really good care of your children.

And last but definitely not least, ladies,

remember you're not alone in this revolution.

Oh, no!

Because my guy Xavier isn't afraid to fight...

for your rights!

♪ They say in Hollywood the garden grows ♪

♪ They say in Hollywood that everyone knows ♪

♪ Oh ♪

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!

That's how you start a show, boys!

Sexy, sexy! Keep fluffing, keep fluffing!

Doug, last looks on Maurice.

Let's just see.

Stick this in there. Don't be shy.

- For real? - It's not a judgment.

It's stagecraft, Mo. Just do what I'm asking.

All the letters I can write

are not as fair as this.

Syllables of velvet,

depths of ruby, undrained.

And a bathhouse was too much?

- Where's Joyce? - Depends.

Where'd you land on the shoot?

Deadline's a deadline.

Now, am I supposed to find the baby attractive?

Because I do.

But is that the intention of the piece?

Probably best to not think about it too hard.

Hey, Xavier. Come here for a sec, would ya?

Anything you need, Mr. Doug.

Okay, you see that woman over there?

Mm.

See the one I'm pointing at?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

You got something special in you, man.

- Know what I mean? - Mm.

You've been working your whole life for it.

Well, now's the moment.

I want you to go make that woman feel alive

the way only the X-man can.

You know, my name actually isn't Xavier.

- Yeah, I get it, I get it. - Okay.

But that's what I'm gonna need from you, okay?

Okay.

No, no, no, no, no.

Sexy baby's on stage. Just give him a second.

You have one final wish.

Use it wisely.

I wish women ruled the world.

As the next President of the United States,

do you promise to protect life, liberty,

and the pursuit of...

sexiness?

I do, America.

♪ Friends say it's fine ♪

♪ Friends say it's good ♪

♪ Everybody says ♪

♪ It's just like Robin Hood ♪

♪ I move like a cat ♪ ♪ Charge like a ram ♪

♪ Sting like a bee, babe I wanna be your man ♪

♪ Well, it's plain to see ♪

♪ You were meant for me ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm your boy ♪

♪ Your 20th Century toy ♪

♪ Friends say it's fine ♪ ♪ Friends say it's good ♪

♪ Everybody says ♪

♪ It's just like Robin Hood ♪

M-I-N-X!

M-I-N-X!

- What club is this? - Club Minx!

Yeah! So good!

So sexy, guys!

That was excellent. Really good, really good.

Hey, tip these guys out, okay? Give 'em some real money.

I'm so proud of you guys!

Block off '73 and '74!

We got a fucking hit! I love you guys so much.

Hey!

You said you wanted a big idea, I gave you gravity, huh?

I haven't been this entertained

since Nat King Cole sung at my wedding.

Oh, I knew it!

But this is just the start!

I want to start with medium-size markets,

two troupes, East Coast, West Coast.

- Really just... - Joyce has some concerns.

Oh, yeah. I saw you.

You seemed to be very concerned with my pal Xavier.

The show was really fun.

It was acrobatic,

and the men had impressive physiques.

Oh, these boys have rock-hard bodies.

It takes real dedication, and they got it.

I saw you liking it.

You throw a great party.

Oh, thank you.

But I don't want to be the host of it.

It just... it wasn't Minx.

Well, what are you talking about, right?

Minx is so much more than a magazine now.

We can be whatever the fuck we want, right?

No one at our level

is claiming sexuality and intelligence with equal confidence,

and this was one of those things, but it just...

I don't see a world where it ever becomes both.

You said you wanted to be wowed, right?

Well, were you fucking wowed tonight?

Yes, and as much as I enjoyed myself,

I have to defer to Joyce.

That was our deal.

But Joyce, you look at that.

Sexual liberation on display.

Doug, the answer is no.

I'm sorry.

♪ And she treats me ♪

♪ Like I don't care ♪

I can barely hear the "fuck you."

- Joyce loved them. - Of course she did.

- These are amazing. - Mm.

Bathhouse would've been better.

You weren't really gonna do a retrospective, were you?

No. Even I know that's a bad idea.

Hmm.

You know, you're really good

at this whole managing people thing.

It's my job.

But I'm not sure I like it when you do it to me.

Sometimes you're the job.

But you're worth it.

Look what you can do.

You think anyone else knows how good we are?

Not a chance.

♪ To have and to hold ♪

♪ To say in my soul ♪

Chin up, okay?

No one can take away what you did out there.

Oh...

Hey, I know it hurts.

I mean, I only worked on it a day,

and I'm very disappointed.

I can't imagine how you're feeling.

When you dream something up

and someone just takes it away...

I don't think I have it in me.

Business is so mean.

It is mean,

but you just need a good night's sleep, you know?

Oh.

Will you stay a little longer?

I just need a friend.

I don't want to be alone tonight.

You know what? I wish I could, but I just...

I... I have to get home.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

What a waste.

You know, I haven't had a boss since I was 16 years old,

and now I have two,

and one of them is Joyce fucking Prigger.

I was wondering when you were gonna figure that out.

I have been busting my ass.

I've been working so hard, Tines.

And what do I have to show for it?

A Rolls-Royce, a six-figure deal,

and... how many Speedos did you buy?

Minimum was 2,000.

I got a little cocky and bought 4,000.

You could uh, slap a Minx logo on 'em.

Please don't.

What do you say we hop in your fancy car,

drive up the coast,

get lost where no one can reach us?

Only if you drive so I can get drunk in the car.

Deal.

You never said goodbye.

I was told not to interrupt the talent.

I made a mistake.

I wanted you there, it's just... I don't know.

Sometimes... sometimes I get caught up.

You're a star, Graham.

And you should enjoy that.

I plan on doing the same.

Just not with you.

Come on.

- Don't be mad. - I'm not.

Look, we had a lot of fun,

and you introduced me to my new favorite hotel.

All right. Okay.

Yeah.

Well, can we at least just...

- Good night, Graham. - Okay.

If you change your mind...

I'll be over here.

- Was that... - Yeah.

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