Original subtitles

The impulse to dance existed long before

our primate ancestors evolved into humans.

Evolutionary biologists suggest that dance was used by early humans

to promote the social cooperation essential for our survival.

Indeed, studies have found that today's best dancers all share

the two specific genes associated with excellent interpersonal skills.

But despite its power to save our species

dance could not save a small furniture company in Miami

from the economic tsunami of a global pandemic

so like many 40-year-old Millennial white males

Mike Lane found himself alone and adrift

in an ocean of failed relationships and unrealized dreams.

Excuse me? Hello!

This area is off-limits.

Oh. Well, then you really shouldn't be here then, should you?

Cute.

Get dressed, start unloading. Trucks just pulled in.

All right.

So, is she living in Miami now, or...

Well, she can't go back to London, Roger's there.

She has to go back, for the daughter.

Roger still wants it to work, according to Bob.

She should have just canceled instead of walking around like a zombie.

Totally.

And here she is.

Hi.

Thank you so much. This is absolutely beautiful.

- Thank you for your contribution. - You look stunning.

Scotch, please.

Neat or rocks?

Neat.

You getting what you want?

With the fundraiser. It looks like it's going all right.

Nobody here knows what the Big Blue Rescue Project is

and yet they give me their money every year.

Well, I just think people like to look at what they can't have.

I guess.

What's up, bro? Two vodka sodas.

Two vodka sodas.

- So, what do you think? Yeah? - Yeah. Sounds good.

Wait. I know you. You went to State, right?

State? No, definitely not.

We've definitely met.

No. I don't know. Sorry.

Don't freak the guy out, hon.

I'm not.

Holy shit. I got it.

You really don't remember?

I don't know. Was it at my store?

No.

You were a cop, right?

- What's your name? - Kim.

Yeah. Like way back in the day. Yeah.

- Yeah. Yeah. - Right, right, right.

- Got it. - Nice pull, hon!

Did you arrest her?

No, I think I let you off with a warning. Right?

It was my pledge party. I was being very disorderly.

You being good now? You behaving?

- Yes, I'm great, actually. - Good.

I'm on Maxandra's legal team so here to support.

That's cool. What kind of law do you practice?

Family Law generally. But, I do specialize in divorce.

Well, it was good to see you.

- See you in another ten years. - Cheers.

Be good.

I'll do my best.

You! Bartender.

Mrs. Rattigan would like a word.

We're not done breaking down.

Did you hear what I said? She'd like to see you right now.

Bullshit.

Hey, look, you don't have to explain it to me.

All right?

Explain it to Zadie.

Ma'am?

Of course, I'm super uncomfortable doing that and I won't do it.

Because that's a date with chaperones.

I'm not stupid, Roger.

Ma'am, they said to come see you. Should I just wait outside?

I don't want to see you! All right?

Get it into your head, if you need to talk to me

then bring the lawyers.

- Bartender? - I'm sorry. They said

- to come see you. I didn't mean... - Yes, yes, please come back.

Okay.

Yeah?

You know...

Do you like bartending?

Sure. It's not really what I do, but yeah.

- Why not? - So, what is it that you really do?

Yeah... Well, it's... That's a long story.

Did you want me for something?

Yeah.

What's your name?

Mike.

Nice to meet you, Mike.

Nice to meet you.

How much?

How much for what?

You know. Please don't make me spit it out

'cause this is the first time I do this and it's not comfortable.

Look, I don't know what you're talking about. What?

But Kim told me that she knew you, and run into you

and that you were a dancer.

- Oh, Kim... Kim told you that? - Yeah.

Right.

Look, I don't really do that anymore, so...

What was your name?

- Max. - Max, it was nice to meet you.

Thanks for...

I'm s... I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.

No, you didn't offend me. Don't worry.

- It's all... - Really, I have no idea

what I'm doing. It's just I'm not normally like this.

- No. - It's just that I've had

like the shittiest day and the shittiest week

and the shittiest month

- and the shittiest year. - Same here.

Welcome to the club.

Don't worry, you didn't offend me.

Okay.

It was nice to meet you.

So, let's say...

if you were to do this just, like, one last time.

How much would something like that go for?

How much would something like that go for?

$60,000? Maybe.

- $60,000? - Yeah. Yeah, 60.

- Let's call it 60. - What the fuck do you do?

She said it was a silly dance.

Who said that?

Kim? Kim said that? It was silly?

Yeah. She said it was a silly dance

but that it would get my mind off of things.

And if she's right, I'm willing to pay six.

What? You're serious right now?

You're gonna pay me $6,000 to give you a dance?

Yeah, but no happy endings, huh?

So we have a deal?

Are you leaving?

You know I have security.

What are you doing?

You seem like you need a drink.

I really, really do.

Why are you moving my flowers?

These will work better here.

You have a really, really, really nice house.

- Thank you. - Everything's made really well.

Are you redecorating?

Maybe. Do you have music?

You might want to finish your drink.

So, I don't know if you really know what you bought

but I'm gonna give it to you anyway.

And at any point I take you past your comfort zone...

I fucking slap you.

You can slap me.

That's perfect.

May I touch you?

I guess.

(Spanish)

You don't know what I said.

What are you talking about? Yeah, I do.

What did I say?

You said I move like water.

I didn't mean for you to understand that.

Well, maybe you should be a little more careful what you say.

Remember, I am from Florida.

If I had known what this night was going to be like...

I would have gladly paid you the 60,000.

It wouldn't have mattered anyway, I'm not gonna take your money.

I'm not even gonna take the six grand.

Who are you?

I don't know.

What do you mean?

Come with me to London.

What's in London?

My life.

Your life's in London? I thought this was your house.

This is a house, but it's not the house.

Max, I can't just go to London.

I got, like, stuff here. I got...

Like there's a whole mess. I got a job.

I can't just go to London.

I'm gonna get you a much better job in London.

You're gonna get...

No, well, I have a job for you in mind. It's creative.

And all you have to do is come with me for a month

and I will give you your 60,000.

Max, I can't just up and leave

- my entire life here for you... - Yes, you can. Yes, you can.

- Listen. Listen. - Not for a mon... I can't.

- Not for a whole month. - You should come with me

and then if it's out of your comfort zone then you just...

- I get to fucking slap you? - You can fucking slap me.

Let's go.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

I don't really fuck with vegetables.

How do you have that body then?

I don't know. Genetics. Mom and Pops.

How'd you get so rich?

Genetics, I guess.

Yeah?

No, Roger's family is in media.

Oh, that's cool. Is that like TV and shit?

It's more like everything and shit.

Right.

So... I don't know. What happened, with that?

Marriage happened.

Are you married?

Am I married?

Would it be a problem if I was?

No. This is 100% business.

Right. You keep talking about this "job."

But you always leave out what the actual job is.

It's what you were meant to be doing all along.

Okay. I've made it really clear though

I'm not... I don't dance anymore.

Then I can claim that I got Magic Mike's Last Dance.

So what else could you possibly be paying me for?

We are not having sex.

Completely out of the question.

- Why? - You know, Mike

I actually think you have...

other talents. And this is what I'm invested in.

Okay. But just, you know, hear me out.

You've purchased me for a month, let's just say...

you say, "Jump." I say, "Which bed?"

Look, last night was...

kind of magical. It was amazing.

So...

let's not fuck that up.

Okay?

Okay.

And no. I'm not, by the way.

- What? - Married.

Okay.

Are you in a relationship?

No. Me and relationships don't have a tendency to work out.

Yeah, I can understand that.

- To freedom. - To freedom.

Now, sir, the brown hamper is for dry cleaning

and the beige hamper is for regular laundry.

I'm probably not gonna have any dry cleaning

and I, by the way, I can do my own clothes, man.

Just show me where the machines are.

Ms. Mendoza would never allow that, sir.

Aw, man, you can call me Mike. It's all good.

As you wish, sir. The loo is through this door here.

The toilet, sir.

Right. Do you have any idea what the fuck I'm doing here?

Regrettably, no, sir.

Yeah, but you wouldn't tell me even if you did know, would you?

I would be lying if I said I wasn't lying, sir.

Right. It's Mike, man. Just call me Mike.

Well, "Mike," Ms. Mendoza does love a good surprise.

I'll collect you at half past.

Collect me at half past for the surprise. Cool.

Shit.

I never like to give credit to Victor because he becomes unbearable...

but I wouldn't own the place that we're going to

if he hadn't convinced me to fight for it in the settlement.

Her only other option was a sand and gravel pit in High Wycombe.

And the only value I saw in it was that my mother-in-law

didn't want to give it away.

But now, I have found its purpose.

What's my purpose there? If we're going there.

Well...

just pretend that today is Christmas

and you're about to open your presents.

Okay.

As a matter of fact

Victor, I think we should stop at Liberty's first.

Don't you think?

I would let Harj know, so that he can mentally prepare.

Good idea.

What's a Harj?

Hello, Harj.

Good afternoon, Madame Rattigan!

Don't you "madame" me and it's Mendoza now.

(French)

So where's "the big tear-down"?

What... This does not cost that. What is this in dollars?

Do you like... What, do you drop a zero or...

So cute.

I'm telling you, weird.

Do you know what Victor does?

So you own this place?

I do now.

When this very same play opened in 2004

the owner of the theater

fell madly in love with this horribly insecure actress.

And so...

here's where my love story with Roger began

and here is where it's going to end.

He must have loved your performance.

I had three lines.

Well, you certainly look the part.

So relax, have fun

and I promise there won't be any more surprises

but you're gonna like this one.

You swear?

- Deal. - Miss Mendoza!

Right on time as usual.

Stop it, Woody. I'm half an hour late.

As usual. Is this...

Yeah, Mike, meet Woody

the best stage manager in all of London.

Easy. I'm just here to serve your vision, gov.

My vision?

Your vision. Let's go.

Oh, fuck.

Voilà.

Wow.

Right on time.

So what's this shit about?

It's the same old

will-she-marry-for-love or-money bullshit.

So, what does she pick? Love or money?

Who cares?

The real question is

why does she feel like she has to choose?

Hell yeah.

Well, this is your joint, right?

Why don't you just give them that note?

Oh, this is a jolly good waste of time, isn't it?

Bravo! Bravo, everybody.

Absolutely flawless, thank you.

Excuse me? Who the fuck is talking?

Oh. Maxandra. My sincere apologies. I couldn't see you in the light.

Nice to see you again...

- Matthew. - Right.

- The director. - Of course.

To what do we owe the pleasure?

I'm here to make an announcement.

Oh! Oh. Tell me.

Well, if I only told you it wouldn't be an announcement, would it?

I suppose not.

Attention, everyone! Gang, this is Maxandra Rattigan.

The wife of our owner

- and... - Actually

it's Maxandra Mendoza

and I'm the legal owner of this theater.

I am here to give you all notice

Isabel Ascendant is closed...

effective immediately.

On what fucking grounds? We are at capacity every night!

Relax.

It's only a four-week course correction.

An evolution.

A revelation.

And no one is fired.

Oh, Christ.

Except for...

- Matthew. - Matthew. Yes.

Matthew will be replaced

by a brilliant new choreographer

that I recently discovered in Miami.

His artistry made me feel...

There are no words. It's just...

ecstasy.

And in exactly one month

I want every woman that walks into this theater

to feel the same kind of ecstasy that I did.

To transcend.

To break free.

So, without further ado

I give you the visionary artist that...

inspired me so profoundly

and that will take us to the promised land.

Ladies and gentlemen

Michael Jeffrey Lane.

'Sup?

The look on Roger's face when he sees this!

It's worth every pound

- every shilling. - No. Yeah. You could've given me

just a little heads-up before you threw me to the wolves in there!

You would've been in your head, over-thinking everything.

It was better than not thinking anything at all. Like...

And what are you so excited about?

Like every single person in there quit!

We don't need actors, we need dancers.

Plus, by not firing them

we saved thousands on labor-union fees.

More money for you.

Yeah, but... Okay. I... Look, no offense

but there's got to be easier ways to get back at your husband for...

I don't know, whatever, than putting on a strip show.

Oh, I'm not a scorned woman, and this is not a strip show.

We are bringing the tsunami to London!

Okay. All right. This...

And I'm down for that. I just think that you haven't...

Can't you see? People are numb, disconnected, desensitized.

We're gonna wake them up

with a wave of passion they've never felt before.

Okay, I just... There's one little thing

that I think you're forgetting

is that I don't know shit about directing theater.

- And that's why you have me! - What?

It will be a historical, one-night collaboration

between the stage

- and the... - The thongs?

Eh, I don't know.

- Exactly. That's what... - Who the hell are you?

I don't know. Who are you?

Zadie, what are you doing here?

This is my daughter, Zadie.

Oh, shit. Hi. Nice to meet you!

- We had a meeting, Maxandra. - Yeah.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

I completely lost track of time. Completely. I'm so sorry.

I can see that. I'm more interested in why you lost track of time.

Well, I've been handling some business

with the new director of Isabel Ascendant.

Michael Jeffrey Lane.

Ah, yeah. That's not my name.

- But... It's just... - But it's got gravitas.

Yeah, it's just... It's Mike Lane.

- But you do need a stage name. - Are you two hooking up?

- Zadie! - Well, I...

What's funny about that is...

your mom actually is paying me to not hook up.

We are not hooking up.

But he will be staying at the house just until he gets settled. Okay?

How convenient.

Tell me, Mike, what do you plan to do with Act Three?

Yeah, we're gonna have one.

I was pl... I was planning on doing Act Three

- like a... - Everybody knows

Isabel Ascendant has

a wildly outdated, painfully misogynistic climax.

Exactly.

And that's why our take is going to be so exciting

because they will be expecting that

and instead, they're gonna see

that a woman can have whatever she wants, whenever she wants it.

Since when do you believe that?

Since Mike and I have been exploring this theme.

Yeah, your m... Yeah, we've been exploring those themes.

You're in another one of your phases, aren't you?

Baby, don't you have some schoolwork to do?

What's the phases thing?

Every few years she starts a big new project.

Sometimes it's a charity, a documentary

- a new best friend. - Right.

Each time it's like she's a new person.

So what?

Sue me for exploring myself and my contributions to the world!

But your contributions never see the light of day.

There's always some obstacle.

We call her The Queen of the First Act.

Our therapist, whom she stood up to be here

says she tries on these new personas

as a way from running from the guilt about...

I already said how sorry I am about missing that appointment

and I am going to reschedule it.

(French)

(French)

(French)

(French)

You know, pardon my French, but y'all are being rude as fuck.

Sorry.

(French)

Pleasure, Mike.

- Pleasure, Zadie. - Zadie, wait, don't go.

You want some cake? Baby.

What's going on?

No, I didn't know until you sent it.

Well, technically, she does have the right.

I have no idea. Maybe Zadie will tell me.

Change the agreement how?

Mother... Mother, I think you should pursue this on your own.

I can't get dragged into a fight. Not about this, not right now.

Yo!

Holy shit! Naysayers, we have proof of life!

All right.

What's up, man? I know, look, I know. I-I...

And I'm sorry, okay, I know I've been ducking you all.

I apologize. I just...

It's a long story, but I'm in London and I just want you guys to know

I'm gonna be able to pay you back, I just need a few weeks. Okay?

Oh, come on, man!

How many times do we have to tell you you don't need to pay us back!

It was an investment.

I know. I know. But I'm...

As many times as you guys say that,

I'm not just gonna burn my friends' money and not care.

- All right? I don't... - No.

Money is water, Mike. It flows in both directions.

That's a good point, but still.

You... Yeah, hold up. You buried the lede here.

Why are you in London?

I don't know, short story is that...

I was bartending at this charity event

and then at the end of the night

I ended up giving this rich lady a lap dance

and now I'm living in her house in London

and gonna put on a show

at this famous theater that she owns. So, yeah.

Cool. Hey, sex work is nothing to be embarrassed about, Mikey.

Especially when it's the live-in kind.

Hey, look, thanks, Tarzan.

Look, I'm basically just saying

though I'm gonna have your money, I don't exactly know

what I said yes to so I hope it works out.

Mikey, Mikey, this is great news.

I was looking at your chart last night

you know you're in a once- in-33-year Jupiter cycle, right?

I... No, I didn't, but that explains a lot I guess. Yeah.

Yeah, it does, so whatever existential confusion

you're feeling right now,

it's an initiation.

It's wiping the slate clean for you to self-actualize.

I'm just trying to survive

- to be honest. - Surviving? Bro

you are a gig worker.

Magic Mike's coming back to the main stage.

I... But that's the thing, I'm not even dancing though.

I'm putting on the show. I guess I'm directing or whatever.

I mean, it's... I'm only here for a month

it's for one show only

to basically get back at her ex or something.

I don't know. It's totally bonkers over here.

Who gives a shit, man? She's rich. Trust me.

Do not leave that situation. Okay?

Look at me, I'm basically a freaking glorified dog walker.

Okay? You just need to make sure she doesn't wake up

and all of a sudden want you out of the house

which I have tips on by the way if you want them.

Okay. I... We don't have dogs here, so maybe that's a good idea.

I feel it. I feel it in my solar plexus, brother.

This is your dharma.

- Just stay in the flow. - Victor?

What are you doing there?

Oh, you know, waiting for passing fucking trade.

He's on a private call.

Since when has that stopped you?

Oh, boys, I miss you.

Are you decent?

- Yep. - Is that her?

Are we interrupting something?

No, I was just looking for some ideas.

Oh, I've been "scouting" myself.

And come take a look at what I found.

Look at that.

Isn't he magnificent?

He has such an innate elegance and intelligence to the way he moves.

And then at the same time there's this savage thing, you know

like a primal animal.

Just incredible.

I think this is what we need for the show.

Trained dancers, not strippers.

Yeah, but, I mean, as the director, I...

I promise you I know exactly what we're looking for. Yeah.

I love the way you just did that.

- What? - "As the director."

You're really owning that place. You know?

It comes to you so naturally.

I can tell that you already have a vision.

And I'm sure that you agree that this would be fantastic.

- Yeah, he's great. - For the show, I mean.

Yeah. Yeah, really. I mean, he's...

Antonio is what we need.

He's great. Like I said, he's just... But he's also in Italy.

- Roma. - Roma, see, I can't...

I don't have time to go find him in Roma

and then bring him all the way back here.

Oh, no. That would be out of the question.

But that's why you have a genius producer!

He's arriving on Thursday. If you approve. Creatively, I mean.

Yeah, look, if you want him, sure. I-I-I approve. Creatively, of course.

I'm so excited!

Are you excited?

Yeah. Yeah. I am.

You don't sound excited.

I'm very, very, very excited.

- I promise. - Oh, man, me, I don't even think

I'm gonna be able to sleep.

No?

Good night.

Sweet dreams.

Okay.

Wait, wait, where are you going? Hey.

To bed?

We got like ten other dancers to find.

And that's why we have Renata. Good night.

Per your instructions

I've assembled the top-tier of talent across multiple movement disciplines.

And they're all very eager to please...

and quite athletic, as you requested.

Excellent work as usual, Renata.

She couldn't explain the full extent of her feelings

but Max knew that she had crossed some kind of strange Rubicon.

She was desperate to know more about why she felt this way

so she purchased a litany of books on the history of dance.

For Mike, The Rattigan had no symbolic weight

it was simply where he had to work.

And he reminded himself

in order to finish something, you have to make a start.

For Maxandra, The Rattigan had been transformed.

It went from existing only in the past

to being a source of renewal.

- Hello, hello, hello. - Hey! Hey!

Are you ready to transform theater forever?

- Yeah! - Yeah!

All right. Calm down, calm down. We ain't done shit yet.

All right, you guys have all the talent in the world.

Ain't no questioning that.

Each and every single person here was hand selected because they bring

something unique to the table that we ain't never seen before.

All right?

But I have a question for you.

Who here, by show of hands, has stood in front of a thousand women

and had to get butt-ass naked?

Exactly.

You want to find out how fast

a group of sweet, nurturing moms can make you just go running

cowering into a dark corner, wishing you were never born?

I promise you it can happen. I've seen it. And it can happen

just like that.

Now I can't believe I'm about to say these words out loud

but we got one month.

Oh, yeah.

We got one month to turn y'all into the greatest group of strippers

that has ever been assembled on planet Earth.

And to do that, you boys got to be ready to get your hands dirty

your noses wet, and them nuts chafed as shit.

And look, if, if we do our jobs right...

you're gonna have a whole other problem on your hands.

You're gonna have to learn to

protect yourself in a zombie apocalypse of repressed desire.

Any questions?

I have a question.

Can you, you know, fuck a zombie to death?

Or is it still a kill shot to the head?

Excuse me, what are you doing here?

I mean, you didn't technically fire me

so I'm still drawing out that salary.

Oh, I'm sorry. I should have been more clear.

You're still getting paid, but we no longer need your services.

I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

I was just really inspired by our new director's vision.

What... What did I say?

He didn't say anything.

It's not what you said. It's who you are.

Do you have any idea of how long I've been dreaming

of someone to walk through that door with a flame thrower

and burn this whole fucking shit to the ground?

I can't stand playing Lady Isabel.

For the last six months

I've wanted to choke the life out of that entitled prude.

I mean, get a grip, woman. Jesus Christ.

Like you're rich, send a fucking carriage to town

buy up every able-bodied man, soldier, sailor

instead of wasting your time worrying about which boring old sod

you're going to sign your life away to

and have a lovely half-decent shag with every last one! I...

But it's a really good job, it's so stable, and...

so usually I don't say all of that.

Well, that was poetic.

You're definitely our audience.

Woody, make sure she gets an invitation.

Hey, we're still calling this Isabel Ascendant, right?

Yeah, but that's just a trick to get the audience into the theater

so then we can give them something else.

Right, but if, what if we use

the actual old opening to Isabel Ascendant?

I mean, it could be a really big surprise actually.

And if I'm honest...

if you want to make a show about women getting what they want

wouldn't it be a little fucking chauvinistic

to not have a female lead in it?

- Are you calling me chauvinistic? - No.

Because I'm the feminist here.

- Right. - I'm the flame-thrower.

This whole thing was my idea.

You heard her. She's the flame-thrower.

You're hired as Isabel

because you were already hired.

I am thrilled! Thank you both so much.

Will you be dancing in it?

No. Just directing. Right?

Shame.

Well, now that we have a leading lady again

maybe the director should walk us through the beats of the first act.

Yep. First act, coming up.

Enter Jackson, the low-class but sexy friend of the husband. Line?

Harold said you didn't want to go to Calais this year.

Is that still settled?

I'm sick to death of Calais.

- Theo? - I won't hear of it.

You're going and that's that.

Perfect. Hit it.

Oh, come on. No... no. Come on, Mike.

- Stop... Stop! - Hey. All right, stop... stop.

Stop. What's up?

They can't just start dancing on her out of nowhere.

I mean, I'm down as fuck.

Okay. Isn't that the point?

No, no, no. You cannot interrupt the plot.

If you want a strong female lead, she has to have an objective.

At least we should know what she wants.

Okay. What do you think she wants then?

I don't know.

I know she doesn't want this life.

So she wants to run away?

She can't do that.

Why? She's a free person, right?

She has a family. There would be consequences.

Right. So it's about the money.

Oh, that's the least of it.

She would lose her friends, opportunities.

Her identity. Her whole world would be torn apart.

I don't know. It sounds to me that she just needs to let go.

And some good dick!

Maybe that as well.

This show is not about getting dick. Only.

She needs to solve her dilemma.

It's not like some magic unicorn is gonna come down

and make all her wildest fantasies come true.

What was that?

Could be not the worst idea.

Oh, no way.

Hear me out. Just... What about...

Where the fuck am I gonna get a horse?

What about a caballito? Like a tiny one.

I don't have caballito budget.

Wait. What... How... Okay, what if you don't see it?

What if you don't see the horse?

No, that's not right.

No.

How long have you been standing there?

Long enough. May I?

Yes.

So you've worked with Max and this Roger dude a long time?

All 18 wonderful years.

Wow. So you must know these friends that we're going to see tonight.

What are they like?

They like things to stay the same, sir.

All right.

How do I look? And don't give me any bullshit answer.

You know something...

they'd just laugh at you in a tie.

- Holy shit. - What?

You! That suit.

You look incredibly expensive.

You have no idea.

One of the most primal feelings human beings experience

is the desire to belong

to feel connected to other beings, and to be part of a tribe.

In fact, brain scans have shown that social rejection creates

virtually identical brain activity as physical assault.

Mike didn't know that

but he knew dancing could bring people together.

Even if some of those people are snobs.

And he knew that Victor was right

they would have laughed at him in a tie.

And he says, "Now that's how you wave a towel!"

Every time.

Anyways, so, give us the latest gossip, Max.

- Yeah, go on. - And don't hold back a lick.

You know I don't hold back my licks.

- True. - But there's nothing for me

to tell you.

You already know everything.

Since you double agents are all talking to Roger.

- Oh, come on. - That's not true.

- That's not true. - I'm offended.

Last I heard, he had at least broken it off with the girl. So...

And so, she should just run back to him then, should she?

No, that's not what I'm implying.

I'm just... You know, it's something, isn't it?

- It takes time, Bill. - Of course.

Or have you forgotten?

Ooh, hello.

Thank you for your concern, but you must know that...

I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

- Oh, that's really good to hear. - Oh, rubbish.

Phoebe!

He can do whatever he wants, and so can I.

- Yeah. - How modern.

But what does that actually mean for the divorce?

The divorce. The divorce.

Don't you have something else to talk about?

I mean, besides, Bill jokes. Let's have fun.

Mike, why don't you tell them...

Wait, no, listen to this.

You have to hear his vision for Isabel Ascendant.

- Oh, yeah. - Oh, yes.

Uh, yeah. Well, I mean

as we were talking about we think it's...

it's very important to honor the original source material.

- Yeah, but to do that properly... - And say no more.

It has to be a surprise.

- Right. - Okay.

It's so smart to revive a classic.

- Absolutely. - That is very hot right now.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know

if I would exactly call it a classic revival, Phoebe, but I...

You know, the way that I think we were looking at it is

that it really needed to be stripped down, oiled, and spanked.

(Spanish)

- No. No. (Spanish) - Okay.

He loves metaphors.

So Mike, is there a vibrant theatrical community in Miami?

Yeah, for the right amount of dollars

I think you can have as vibrant of a time as you would like.

I imagine you've done a lot of work with Art Basel.

No, no. I don't... Who's that? I don't know him.

- Come on, guys. - Oh, my God.

Of course, I know Art Basel. It's the most famous art fair.

It happens in my city every single year.

Wow. Your face just now...

Well, I mean, if the show's anything like him, count me in.

You better talk to him while you can

because he's about to get super famous and super unavailable.

- Wow. - Well, that's quite a build-up.

- That's a deal. - Yeah.

I don't know about all that, but yes.

She is looking unusually radiant tonight.

Yeah, I guess...

I don't know. It must be good for the soul, the whole divorce.

Divorce.

Yeah, I'm... What?

Do you guys have a different word for the ending of a marriage here?

Yeah. When it's untrue. Yeah.

I mean, yes, they have an agreement at the moment.

- Yeah. - But

I mean, that family pre-nup is going to take a decade to litigate.

- Exactly. - Plus she knows

that at the end of it she'll get absolutely nothing.

- Which she'll hate. - Yeah.

What she needs is to be able to stay with him

but not actually be with him.

That would be the golden ticket.

I wish you had gotten up, and really taken

- your clothes off. - Okay, let's go back there.

- I'd have loved to see their faces. - I'll take my clothes off right now.

- Yeah. - They are so fake.

They are the fakest people I know.

I think the only person that is real in my life is Zadie.

She's about as real as it gets at times.

Yes. She'll tell you what she thinks.

What about you, Mike?

Are you real?

What do you mean, am I real? Am I... Do you think I'm real?

I don't know.

You know, sometimes you kind of feel like a dream.

I mean, you look like a dream.

You smell like a dream.

You taste like a dream.

Wait. I just want to make sure. Listen.

No, it's okay. No.

- No. I get it. I get it. - No... no. Wait, wait, wait. No

- That was really stupid. - I just want to tell you... No...

- No, no. I'm sorry. I didn't... - You know what?

- I shouldn't have stopped... - I'm sorry, I'm just so drunk.

What? You had, like, one glass of wine.

- No, look, that was my fault. - Are you saying I'm crazy?

No, I'm definitely not saying

- you're crazy. I'm saying I'm sorry. - Are you telling me I'm crazy?

- I didn't mean to stop you. - This was uncalled for so obviously

- Come here. I'm sorry. - If I'm not drunk, I'm crazy.

- Stop. Hey... - And I'm not crazy.

- Max, stop. I'm sorry. - I am very drunk actually.

Stop. Stop.

- Listen to my... - No, you stop.

I don't want to listen to you.

Right now, anything that you say to me is gonna be wrong.

I already said I'm sorry. Okay? I get it.

I get it. You don't have to like...

rub it in.

- All right. - No pity talking or anything.

I get it.

Can you put some music on, Victor?

Oh, hello. Good morning.

Good morning.

What are you doing up so early?

I'm writing a novel.

A novel?

They make you write novels in school over here?

Do you assume that because of my age

I only have the mental capacity to write a novel for school?

No, I just don't know anyone that's ever written a novel.

What is it about?

It's about some people who know each other and do things.

It's about every time I draw

another gentrified breath into my helpless body.

And it's about 40 pages.

That's a good amount of pages.

- It is. - How many are you gonna go for?

A few more.

- What's up, Vic? - Yeah, right.

What? What? Why is he like that?

If he acts like he likes you, he hates you.

And if he acts like he hates you

it's a sign of respect because he actually does hate you.

Yeah, that's not helpful. Why doesn't he just quit?

Same reason you don't quit. Systemic economic inequality.

Speaking of, have you seen Maxandra this morning?

No. And why do you call her that?

You know she hates it.

She brought me from an orphanage

saying "mother" would feel like a lie.

Come on. That's a little strong.

Look, she's doing the best she can.

And she loves the shit out of you.

I think the real question is why do you love the shit out of her?

Love is a really, really big word, Zadie.

And, look, the truth is

no one's believed in me like your mom has

- so I... - Zadie?

- Hi, Roger. - Hello, dear.

That's your...

Is your mother around?

Maxandra is upstairs.

And who's this?

This is Mike.

Mike is the new director for Isabel Ascendant.

- Ah, right. - What's up?

Roger Rattigan.

Michael Jeffrey Lane.

I hope Max didn't schedule to meet both of us at the same time.

He's staying here.

Well, no conflict then.

No.

I hope the theater itself has treated you well thus far.

Oh, she's been a pleasure to be inside of.

It's got such a wonderful feel.

I'm looking forward to seeing how you improve such a classic.

I can't wait for you to experience it.

It's a little rough, so be nice.

- Okay. - Woods.

Sound. Go.

Bravo.

Bravo.

Bravo. Bellissimo. Now that is class.

Yeah. No, that was great.

Yeah, I got to figure out where it goes in the show.

But, yeah, it was... It was great.

All right, Harry, let's go.

Give it to her.

Take your time, boy.

Show her.

Yep.

That's it.

Hey, give her the business.

That's it. That's it.

All right, sick.

Look, I mean, you can't dance any better than that. That's perfect.

I mean, the only... If I had a little note

it would just be this specific dance is

a little more like fucking than dancing.

And you know, look, the song is called Permission

so once you get permission

you got to keep it, and you got to...

The only way to do that is to keep a connection with her.

Here, watch. Look, see if you can see the difference. Like...

literally you don't even have to dance at all.

- Hi. - Hey.

- Can I touch you? - Of course.

- Yeah? You sure? - Yeah.

Woody... Woody.

I don't understand.

You have this beautiful legendary stage

but you're hovering around the chair.

I mean, you can do the same...

over here, or your...

over there.

No woman wants to be suffocated by testículos.

- That's fair. - It's nice to expand, you know?

Okay.

Less testiculars and expansion.

Some scholars suggest that dance was once a form of communication

as integral to our daily life as eating or sleeping.

Traditionally, tribal courtship dances

allowed dancers of opposite sexes

to engage in socially acceptable physical contact

before they were even allowed to speak to one another.

Only when a leisure class began

to emerge out of early economic development

did humans begin to view dance as a source of pleasure apart

from its original purpose

to bridge people together from different worlds

to heal wounds when words would not suffice.

All right, you all ready?

Play back.

All right. Stop!

Stop the music!

- Stop! - Hey! Excuse me

who the hell are you?

City of Westminster.

Historical Architecture High Committee.

Well, I'm the owner of this theater. Is there a problem?

Oh, I would think so.

Anything else?

You'll be hearing from us.

We're fucked.

"The owner must obtain written approval

"to make material changes to property.

"If changes be made without approval or special exemption

"the owner must restore the theater to its original condition

and then file for approval with the city."

This is Roger trying to control me.

Even though we are separated and in the middle of a divorce

because he fucked the assistant.

I'm sorry, baby, but it's not like it's a secret.

What if we just do it anyway?

I mean, what are they really gonna do?

"Failure to comply will result in a fine of 10,000 pounds per day

and/or seizure of the property by the City."

Even if I pay the fine

he'll find a way to exert pressure on these people

and force them to bend the rules.

That's just the way he operates. Isn't it, Victor?

- Well, in my opinion... - We have to go

all the way to the top because our freedom is an illusion.

Yes, see when you start

- with no rights at all... - So who is this person

we need to seduce and get them on our side?

I.e., the definition of corruption.

Zadie, baby...

you should know that the law is useless

when you're dealing with entrenched male power structures.

- Not all male. - What do you mean?

Edna Eaglebauer.

As the chairwoman, she has the power to grant a special exemption.

Hey, Z, what else do we know about Edna?

Not much about her on Google.

Housing records indicate she's most likely single and lives alone.

That's promising.

She's got no presence on social media.

Asides her bio on the council website.

Check if she has a pet or a hobby.

Not that I can tell. She's a ghost.

I'll tell you what

this bird's got to have a heart of stone

to shut down Swan Lake.

Maybe, but everybody wants something.

We just got to keep looking.

What if she didn't even know what she wants?

Well, that never stopped men from coming up with the wrong answer.

Come on, guys, give me something.

Victor, don't just sit there.

I'll murder her for the right price.

That might be the best idea.

But, look, this feels like

a woman's perspective sort of a thing.

Like what did you want before Miami?

I just wanted to escape my life.

But then...

someone came along and gave me this unexpected magical moment

that made me remember who I really was.

It was like a little treasure.

Okay, so we need to figure out who Edna was

before she became a bureaucrat and tap into that then.

That's it!

- I don't understand why you don't - I don't think...

- want Suavemente. It's a great song. - No. I love Suavemente.

- It is great. I agree. - It's a different beat.

We just don't need it right now.

Look, it... Look, hear me out. It's Isabel

- Oh, trust me. I know it by heart. - Unicorn, Champagne

- Sex Machine, Permission, Suits. - And you know what's more important

than Suavemente? We still don't have a grand finale.

Great. We'll make one.

- The most important part - It's a group number.

- Of the whole show. - And then everybody will dance out

into the crowd. It'll be amazing.

Oh, that's so random.

- Everybody dancing in the crowd. - Why is that random?

We've done that already.

It's got to be something different, something personal.

They're all good and personal, and they're there for a reason.

I don't... Why are you doing this right now?

Why are you making it, like, we don't have a good show?

I know. You should be dancing in it.

You have lost your mind. What are you talking about?

- I'm not dancing in the show. - Why are you saying no

to everything I say?

- Have you noticed that? - I'm not saying no. I've said yes

- on every single part of the show. - We need something

climactic, different

- something personal. - All right, I'm...

- Give me something - Great

- that I don't know about you. - Then do something personal.

Why is it about me? This is about women.

You're a woman. I'm not.

I'm not gonna be dancing in the show. Why don't you make it personal?

Well, do whatever you want.

Do the thing that you and Antonio have been making.

It's great. That's personal, ain't it?

Hey, it's your show.

Give me something that's yours.

Open up.

- I did. - When?

The whole... This whole time.

And if you haven't seen it, I don't know what to tell you about it.

Well, I don't know what to tell you about it

since I tried to kiss you and you pulled away.

You don't know how to open up.

That's why you need the Suavemente.

Oh! Still waiting for passing trade, you nosy fuck!

Your turn, he's impossible.

Yes, Victor?

I did not say anything.

Yeah. Yeah. You're always saying something in your head.

Just say it out loud, man.

You see, the problem with Max is she tends to overcomplicate things.

Yeah.

Especially when she knows exactly what she wants.

And she knows exactly what she wants when it comes to you.

Why do you work for her?

You could easily work for Roger.

She's got bigger balls.

Listen, motherfucker.

- I rest my case. - Yeah.

- You better make up your mind - Oh, just...

- because you're driving me crazy. - Yeah, you're driving me crazy.

What are you doing?

Just stop.

- Okay, just shut up. - No, you stop.

You shut up.

I just want a happy ending.

(Spanish)

You're an insane person. You know that, right?

(Spanish)

(Spanish)

(Spanish)

Given the debate and confusion around the word "love" generally

what are we to make of the word "love"

in the context of dancing?

If you love dancing with someone

does that mean on some level that you love them?

What other feelings are exchanged during a dance?

Can you dance with someone you don't trust?

Should you trust someone just because they can dance?

Max and Mike weren't thinking about this

but they should have been.

Stop the music!

Stop the music! Stop the music.

- Edna? - Edna?

I am so sorry, Ms. Mendoza.

I'm so deeply sorry to each and every one of you beautiful creatures.

Sorry for what?

Height restrictions for stage risers.

Apparently, your new stage is three quarters of an inch too high.

Your exemption has been denied.

You're to shut down immediately.

But you had already approved it!

I got a call from an MP's office. It's law.

There's nothing I can do.

Keep working.

I'll take care of this. I'll be right back.

Okay.

How fucking dare you?

You're not shutting me down again.

Not this time.

Max, I sincerely want to rebuild our trust.

In the meantime, I'm just trying to look out for you.

How is shutting down my show looking out for me?

I'm not talking about the show.

Then what are you talking about?

I'm talking about your judgment.

I'm talking what I witnessed in the kitchen

in front of our daughter.

Roger, I wouldn't get into a dispute about judgment with me right now.

You handed my family's theater over to a fucking stripper.

You don't know anything about Mike.

I know when you're being used. Don't you see that?

No.

Darling, I know we're all getting old

but I didn't know you were so desperate.

Fuck you! We care for each other.

Max, have you even read our settlement agreement?

The language about denigrating or harming the family brand?

The moment that show goes up

mother's barristers will be clawing back every last shilling in court

and I won't be able to stop her.

But if you're still too deluded to help yourself

please be mindful of Zadie.

She shouldn't have to pay the price for your fantasies.

Would you please stop it?

What?

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "What was she thinking?"

You weren't thinking, were you?

You were falling in love.

Oh, shut the fuck up.

You think I don't know that?

And don't you dare judge me. You were not there.

That one fucking dance...

changed everything in me.

It feels like it made me the best version of myself

but everybody's laughing at me. I'm a joke. An embarrassment.

Not to him though.

He believes in me.

And I have to go tell him

that our show about empowering women is dead

because I'm so fucking powerless.

The most frightening part is that

I'm about to find out

if that dance meant as much to him as it did to me.

Or if I'm just another goddamn Tuesday.

No, you're more like a Thursday, madame.

Have I always been this adolescent?

No.

Only when it's raining.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

One.

Mike.

Jack, keep taking them through.

What the fuck you mean "we're done"?

I'm sorry. I did my best, but I failed.

- Wait. What... All right. - Victor will come back

and pick you up

and he can arrange a flight for you tomorrow.

No, no, no. What happened? This isn't you.

What the fuck is going on with you, Max?

Nothing.

What?

Un-fucking-believable.

You really are the Queen of the First Act, huh? Holy shit.

You don't know anything about me. And you don't understand anything.

It's Friday.

They wouldn't pull the plug on us until Monday.

But you're walking away.

You have no show.

You couldn't even come up with an ending.

You cannot say that what we've created so far isn't fucking special.

You cannot say that. I know you can't.

I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to let it go.

You'll still get paid.

Hey! Hey, look, I don't give a fuck about the money.

I don't fucking care.

Okay?

We're good at this and I'm not gonna fucking just let us give up on it.

You're so good at this.

I bet you he never cared about what you were good at. Did he?

Don't let this be the end.

- Woody! - Lay it on me, gov.

I need a plumber and a ballerina.

The princess is on a hunger strike.

Won't even open the door.

What? She's not even drinking?

I'm afraid not.

Did you try using your "wise British butler" voice?

Trust me, I went full metal Downton Abbey on her ass.

And if that bloke doesn't pull his head from his own ass

you'll be parented from behind a closed door

for months. Years, even.

But you didn't tell her you slipped Mike the keys?

Please.

If the lawyers found out

her careless manservant failed to lock the Rattigan doors,

she'll need plausible deniability.

If there's anything I've learned

it's that you can't tell people anything.

They have to have an experience.

Message from Mike.

"End is not ending.

"Sunday at seven we roll. The Grand Finale."

Let me see that.

Crikey, it's a haiku.

Seventeen syllables in a five-seven-five pattern.

Purely coincidence, but still...

there's hope for him after all.

Sounds like Sunday's gonna be an experience.

Doesn't it just?

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Follow me.

Put some clothes on, Maxandra.

Why would I do that?

We have to go.

Where?

You know where.

- He didn't. - He did.

No, he didn't.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. No. No, it's gonna be a disaster.

No, it's not.

Oh, it's going to be a disaster.

No, no, no. I can't. I can't. No.

- Yes, you can. - No, I can't go.

Come on.

No, I won't go and you can't make me.

Mom.

We have to go.

Here you go. There.

Victor.

The rumors about the show were a form of entertainment for some.

But for the two people who created it

the terror of the opening night could only be managed

by remembering there would be no record of it.

Only the people who were there would ever experience

the story of Max and Mike as told through dance.

There's small ships, there's tall ships

there're ships that sail the sea

there's no ships like friendships

so here's to you and me.

One, two, three.

Let's go.

We are strippers!

All right, man.

- Let's go. - Yes.

Break a leg, everyone. Alex, cue one and sound. Go.

The light is different.

It's November. It's lower.

Harold's worried about lunch.

He said the menu is diabolical.

The menu is diabolical?

How can a menu be diabolical?

Only a person can be diabolical.

A menu isn't alive.

Well, either way, he's worried.

And you're worried about him?

I don't envy him finding out.

- Well, I'll tell him. - Isabel, no. It's impossible.

- He has to know. - He can never know.

Harold.

Hello, darling.

Walter.

Drinks?

Will you still be going to Calais?

No. I've decided to spend the summer here.

You see, Isabel is pregnant.

Oh. Congratulations.

Yes. We are very pleased.

We are hoping to have a son, of course.

That way the legacy of Chuffingham will be secure.

And if not, we will keep trying.

One of the benefits of having a young wife.

I'm sure Isabel will make a wonderful mother.

No doubt.

And of course my mother

will be here to help.

Unicorn! Unicorn! Unicorn!

Hello, Lady Isabel.

Unicorn?

Why, yes, it's me, Unicorn. Did you call for me?

Yeah, but I didn't expect you to show up out of the blue.

I haven't spoken to my imaginary friend

since I was a child.

Am I okay?

Well, that depends on what your definition of okay is, but

first things first

why don't you tell us how you really feel.

Well...

I don't know.

These two guys shouldn't be my only two options in the world

should they?

I mean

why do I need to feel like I choose?

Like, it's between the shitty rich guy

and the poor guy with a heart of gold.

I mean, come on

all I really want right now is to tell these boring bags of dicks

to leave me alone!

That's right, Lady Isabel.

See, I'm here to tell you that you can have anything you want.

All you have to do is ask.

What?

Okay. Really?

- Really. - Okay.

Well, I am a modest lady, so...

what if all I wanted was just a guy in a tank top and some jeans?

Okay, well

if I can have that then

what about a bad boy...

Hold up, hold up

Who always responds to my texts.

All right.

And now, if I can have that then...

a sexy CEO who pays his women more than his men!

Ooh, me-ow.

What about a guy with a puppy?

Okay, let me just swallow my saliva

that's literally dripping out of my mouth right now.

If I could have all of that, why stop there?

Wait a minute.

I can't be the only person in this room

to feel what I'm feeling right now. Am I?

No!

I didn't think so.

I can tell by the looks on your faces.

Now I want every single one of you to know

how I'm feeling right this very second.

I managed to have a little bit of everything.

And now, it's your turn.

So, by the power vested in me through this Magic Mike

I command thee, Unicorn, send everything to us all

right now!

Hey!

Single ladies! I can't hear ya!

Single ladies! Make noise!

What's your zodiac sign?

What's your zodiac sign?

What's your zodiac sign?

How do you feel about your new reality, everybody?

Make some bloody noise.

Give it up. Give it up for these gorgeous lads

who busted into a sweat just for all of you.

Come on, make a little noise.

Yeah... yeah.

That's what I like to hear. That's what I love to hear.

A little bit of noise on this stage doesn't go amiss, sweethearts.

And let me tell you one thing

a body at rest...

is a body at rest. Right?

Eh, you know, not bad.

But a body in motion...

There is absolutely nothing sexier

than a body in motion. Am I right?

So for our next act

I want you to give it up, ladies and gentlemen

for the trickster prince him bloody self.

Give it up, everybody, for Mr. JD Rainey.

I think we should leave now.

Where are we going?

Mike said to leave at the end of Suits

and return at the end of Pony.

Oh, yes, yes. So you go.

And no peeking.

He'll be watching you.

Now folks, this next dance

is one that I'm well-acquainted with.

Things are about to get intimate.

Now, a real man isn't afraid to act on his desire...

but the sexiest act of submission...

is asking for permission.

Break a leg, gov.

Aw, bless ya.

I know. I know.

We all want a little bit of everything

all of the time. Don't we?

But...

sometimes...

you just want to be everything to someone. Right?

Sometimes...

the greatest fantasy of them all...

is knowing that you're the only one.

You said to go hard, and so I did what you said.

I mean, you know.

- Oh, God. - We showed up.

That's Pony.

Mike said after Pony.

No, he just said Pony.

He definitely said after Pony

and they're still on their ponies. Now sit.

Yes!

Come on, they're applauding. It must be over now.

Very well.

So amazing.

Wait a minute. Just a second.

Thank you very much, Mr. Mike.

Very nice, my friend.

- You look beautiful. - Congratulations.

- Huh? - Congratulations.

- You did it. - What are you talking about?

- We did it. Look around. - You did it. It was amazing.

- All this is because of you. - You are sublime.

Look, I just want you to know I love you. Okay?

Wait... wait. If you're not gonna leave him

I don't want this to be more confusing.

It's done.

I'm never, ever, ever going back to him.

I am free and I am broke.

What do you mean? You're... What do you mean you're broke?

- Yeah. - Like broke, broke?

I'm s... I'm sorry.

- I'm so sorry. - It's okay. I don't care.

No, I'm... I'm just... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I hate you.

Come on, let's go.

No one can claim to fully understand what exactly dance is

but what is abundantly clear

is that dance seeks no meaning for its desires.

It does not value age or status, logic or reason.

It is a compass orientated only to liberty

not unlike the human heart.

I stumbled upon these wisdoms

when I met a lonely stripper named Mike.