All language subtitles for Lilo & Stitch - 02x15 - Heckler.Disney+Version.English.HI.updated.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,542 --> 00:00:02,460 TOOKIE BAH WABA! 2 00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,754 HAO! 3 00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:06,631 IKI BAH BAH. 4 00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:08,133 HA HA HA. 5 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,554 d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d 6 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,347 d NO MALIHINI OHANA d 7 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,891 d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d 8 00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,601 d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d 9 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,477 MAKA MAKA. 10 00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,479 d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d 11 00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,273 d NO MALIHINI OHANA d 12 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,817 d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d 13 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,986 d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d 14 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,780 d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d 15 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:31,740 HEH HEH HA HA HA! 16 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,034 AH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! 17 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,076 d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d 18 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,161 d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d 19 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,245 d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d 20 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,496 d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d 21 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,706 d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d 22 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,874 d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d 23 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,708 OOOCHA! CHI-KA! 24 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:42,667 d MIKI MIKI COCONUT d 25 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,961 d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d 26 00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,172 d NO MALIHINI OHANA d 27 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,382 d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d 28 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,967 d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d 29 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:51,885 TOOKIE BAH WABA! 30 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,219 d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d 31 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,179 AH HEH HEH HEH HEH! 32 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,222 d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d 33 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,224 BYE! 34 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:11,112 OK, STITCH, YOU LET ME DO THE TALKING. 35 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,948 I'M SURE I CAN CONVINCE HER TO HELP US. 36 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,575 OH-KEE TUCKAH! 37 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,952 I KNOW SHE CAN BE MEAN SOMETIMES, 38 00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:21,164 BUT I HAVE A FEELING THAT THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT. 39 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:25,335 I MEAN, IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE, RIGHT? 40 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,631 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 41 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,884 MY SISTER NANI'S THROWING A BIG DINNER FOR CHARITY 42 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,594 ON FRIDAY NIGHT. 43 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,679 SO? 44 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,888 I THOUGHT WE COULD PUT THE PAST BEHIND US 45 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:40,433 AND COME TOGETHER... IN THE SPIRIT OF KOKUA. 46 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,434 HELPING. 47 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:42,977 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 48 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,896 YOUR DOGGIE IS SO UGLY, 49 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,815 IT MAKES MY EYES HURT. 50 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,817 Girls: YEAH! 51 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,861 HA HA HA! 52 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,739 GOOD ONE, MYRTLE. 53 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,076 COME ON, STITCH. 54 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,578 YOU'RE AVAILABLE! THAT'S GREAT! 55 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:04,791 WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM FOR YOU AND YOUR DANCING POODLES. 56 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,460 YOU CHARGE HOW MUCH? 57 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,254 [CASH REGISTER RINGS] 58 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,798 UH, THE THING IS... 59 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,884 IT'S A CHARITY EVENT, AND WE WERE HOPING-- 60 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:17,554 HELLO? HELLO? 61 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,888 OH! 62 00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:21,683 WELL, WE DIDN'T GET PETE AND HIS PRANCING POODLES. 63 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,936 [SIGHS] WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 64 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:26,521 OW! 65 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,772 IF YOU NEED ENTERTAINMENT, 66 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,983 I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU HIRE ONE OF THESE. 67 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,944 IT'S CALLED A STAND-UP COMEDIAN. 68 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,197 TV Announcer: THIS WEEK ON MY FUNNIEST VALENTINE... 69 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,283 BUT SERIOUSLY, THERE ARE BENEFITS 70 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,868 TO DATING A MAN WHO COMES WITH HIS OWN PADDING. 71 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,079 IT'S LIKE HAVING A WALKING PILLOW WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. 72 00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,330 AND IF WE EVER FLEW TOGETHER, 73 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,125 I'D MAKE AN EXCELLENT FLOTATION DEVICE. 74 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,960 HA HA HA! 75 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,045 [SCOFFS] 76 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,880 WHY IS MAKING FUN OF OVERLY ROTUND SELF? 77 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,175 WELL, EARTHLINGS DEVELOP A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT THEMSELVES 78 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,469 IN ORDER TO KEEP FROM BEING HURT BY OTHERS. 79 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,304 IT'S FASCINATING. IN FACT-- 80 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,223 OH, NO. I KNOW THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE. 81 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,851 DON'T WORRY, THIS ISN'T LIKE THE TIME 82 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,478 I WANTED TO BE AN ICE DANCER. 83 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,230 YES, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE A BUSY BAND, 84 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,233 BUT MY FIRST, SECOND, THIRD, FOURTH, 85 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,362 AND FIFTH CHOICE BANDS ALL DECLINED, SO-- 86 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,654 [PHONE HANGS UP] 87 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,781 HELLO? 88 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,991 NANI, YOUR ENTERTAINMENT BOOKING TROUBLES 89 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:20,992 ARE OVER. 90 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,203 YOUR CHARITY DINNER WILL BE MY DEBUT 91 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,830 AS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN! 92 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,499 WHAT DO YOU SAY? HUH? HUH? 93 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:31,795 IF I LET YOU PERFORM, WILL YOU DO THE CATERING, TOO? 94 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,839 DID YOU HEAR THAT? SHE SAID OK! 95 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,549 I HAVE MY FIRST GIG! 96 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,967 I'M LEGIT! 97 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,136 I'M GONNA GO BUY A NEW OUTFIT. 98 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,888 SOMETHING THAT SCREAMS HILARITY 99 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,599 AND COMES WITH MATCHING SHOES. 100 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:49,396 JUMBA DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THIS CHARITY BUSINESS. 101 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,481 IS NO EVIL IN IT, SO WHAT IS POINT? 102 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,776 THERE'S PLENTY OF EVIL ORGANIZING IT, THAT'S FOR SURE. 103 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:59,823 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHER WITH THIS STUPID CHARITY STUFF. 104 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,074 I MEAN... 105 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,786 CHARITY WORK IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS 106 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:05,954 WE CAN DO IN LIFE. 107 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,997 MYRTLE DOESN'T THINK SO. 108 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:09,708 SO HER FAMILY'S NOT COMING? 109 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,335 NO. SHE CALLED STITCH UGLY 110 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,087 AND LAUGHED AT US. 111 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,088 LIKA POO CHIFA. 112 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,924 OH, LILO. THAT'S MEAN, 113 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,884 MAKING FUN OF HOW PEOPLE LOOK. 114 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:20,927 BUT YOU JUST GOTTA-- 115 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,929 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 116 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,389 ALOHA. 117 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,640 OH, YEAH. 118 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,808 THANKS FOR CALLING BACK. 119 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,019 I'M WONDERING IF YOU'D BE INTERESTED 120 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,521 IN DONATING 250 POUNDS OF POI. 121 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:32,897 IT'S FOR CHARITY. 122 00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,859 COME ON, STITCH. 123 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,695 [TAKING DEEP BREATHS] 124 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,242 OH, GANTU, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND. 125 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,619 SOME CHARITY ORGANIZATION CAME AROUND 126 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,246 ASKING FOR DONATIONS. 127 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,289 I CAN'T HEAR YOU BLABBING 128 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,833 OVER MY DEEP, CALMING BREATHS. 129 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,002 [TAKES DEEP BREATH] 130 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,796 SO I GAVE THEM YOUR BED AND YOUR CLOTHES. 131 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,924 OH, AND THAT STUFFED TEDDY BEAR THING YOU SLEEP WITH. 132 00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:03,261 I AM AT PEACE! 133 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,763 I CAN SEE THAT. 134 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,473 Computerized voice: WARNING. 135 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,225 EXPERIMENT 322 ACTIVATED. 136 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,310 PRIMARY FUNCTION-- 137 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,937 UNDERMINE ENEMY MORALE WITH VERBAL ABUSE. 138 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,481 VERBAL ABUSE? 139 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,024 LIKE INSULTS? 140 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,526 AN EXPERIMENT THAT DOESN'T MELT, BLOW UP, OR IMPLODE ANYTHING? 141 00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:21,780 LIKE STEALING CANDY FROM A BABY. 142 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,409 AHH. REFRESHING. 143 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:27,535 ALL OUR CONDOMINIUMS 144 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,913 FEATURE GRADE "A" WATER FILTRATION SYSTEMS 145 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,331 AND THE FABULOUS VIEWS OF-- 146 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,292 FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE, IS THAT A DEAD RAT ON YOUR HEAD? 147 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,251 PARDON ME? 148 00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,252 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 149 00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,254 MOST PEOPLE WON'T NOTICE YOUR TOUPEE 150 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,923 'CAUSE THEY'LL BE BLINDED 151 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,424 BY THAT TACKY SHIRT! 152 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,094 [LAUGHTER] 153 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,889 IT IS GOOD TO BE ME. 154 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:52,602 AND WHAT IS THE DEAL 155 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:52,602 WITH THOSE TRICKY SHARKS 156 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:52,602 AND DOLPHINS? 157 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:53,770 THEY LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE 158 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,855 EXCEPT ONE WILL SWIM YOU 159 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,855 TO SAFETY 160 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,982 AND ONE WILL EAT YOU ALIVE. 161 00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:01,569 CAN WE GET A WARNING SIGN 162 00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:01,569 OR SOMETHING? 163 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,698 THAT'S IT. 164 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,698 THAT'S THE PUNCH LINE. 165 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,866 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LAUGHING NOW. 166 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:07,951 COME ON, EVERYBODY, 167 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,994 NOW LAUGHING. HA HA! 168 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,038 BUT IT WASN'T FUNNY. 169 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,164 BUT I CONSTRUCTED THE JOKE 170 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,208 WITH A PROPER SETUP OF PUNCH LINE FORMAT. 171 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,336 IT WAS BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. 172 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,921 STILL NOT FUNNY. 173 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,423 OK, OK, I GET IT! 174 00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,258 STILL, BY ALL TECHNICAL MEASURES, 175 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,844 MY JOKES SHOULD BE FUNNY. 176 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,846 GUESS I'M JUST MISSING SOMETHING. 177 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,597 THIS CALLS FOR... 178 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,433 EARLY RETIREMENT? PEBOOZ. 179 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,227 NO! MORE RESEARCH! 180 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,022 PERHAPS JUMBA WILL CREATE EVIL GENIUS DEVICE 181 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:40,275 TO REPLACE STAND-UP ACT. 182 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,943 PLEAKLEY'S HOPELESS. 183 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,445 I WISH WE COULD HELP HIM, 184 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,196 BUT I DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE 185 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,781 ABOUT HOW TO BE FUNNY. 186 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,241 MEEGA NAGA. 187 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,660 COMIN' THROUGH! 188 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,371 Both: HUH? 189 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,207 HUH? 190 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,207 AHH! 191 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,001 OUT OF MY WAY! 192 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,171 I'VE GOT AN EXPERIMENT TO CATCH. 193 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,131 COME ON! 194 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,135 NICE "D," 195 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,721 OR SHOULD I SAY "D" MINUS? 196 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,848 EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. 197 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,683 EXCUSE ME, SIR... 198 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,726 I MEAN MADAM. 199 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,978 [FOOTSTEPS] 200 00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,978 WHOA! 201 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,938 AAH! 202 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,569 d MISSED ME, MISSED ME d 203 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,946 d NOW YOU GOTTA KISS ME d 204 00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:27,697 BUT WHOO! 205 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,741 TRY A BREATH MINT FIRST. 206 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,659 QUIET, FREAK! 207 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:40,168 UHH! 208 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,419 HA HA HA! 209 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,837 IF I WERE YOU, I'D BE TRYING 210 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,255 TO BURY MY UGLY MUG, TOO. 211 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:47,300 HEY, HE'S MEAN, AND IT'S FUNNY. 212 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,927 [LAUGHS] 213 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,220 GRR! 214 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,013 WHY, YOU LITTLE-- 215 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,515 YOU GUYS GET A LOAD OF THAT SWING? 216 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:56,643 LOOKS LIKE YOUR MUG AIN'T THE ONLY UGLY THING AROUND HERE. 217 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,894 AND WHAT'S WITH THAT UNIFORM? 218 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,938 YOU PRETENDING TO BE A COP OR SOMETHING? 219 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,940 WELL, NO. WELL, I'M-- 220 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,525 NOT A COP, MY MISTAKE. 221 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,360 COPS ARE SMART AND BRAVE. 222 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,821 YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY THE MAYOR. 223 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:08,613 THE WHAT? 224 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,282 THE MAYOR OF LOSERVILLE! 225 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,200 AHH! 226 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,535 COME ON! 227 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,911 DON'T WORRY ABOUT STITCH. 228 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,204 HE'LL CATCH UP. 229 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,206 YOU REALLY TOLD GANTU OFF. 230 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,124 YOU'RE FUNNY. 231 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,418 I THINK I'LL CALL YOU "HECKLER." 232 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,753 WHO DIED AND MADE YOU NAME-GIVER? 233 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,046 NOBODY. 234 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,506 IT'S, LIKE, MY JOB. 235 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,925 WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE FIRED. 236 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:29,926 AHH! 237 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,052 STITCH! 238 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,762 BE NICE TO HECKLER. 239 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,722 HE CAN HELP US FIGURE OUT 240 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,182 HOW TO SAVE PLEAKLEY'S COMEDY ACT. 241 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,435 BUT FIRST, I'M CURIOUS TO SEE 242 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,813 HOW HE HANDLES A CERTAIN SOMEONE, 243 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,274 SOMEONE WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH AN "M" 244 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:48,194 AND ENDS WITH AN "YRTLE." 245 00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,996 WHAT DO YOU WANT, WEIRD-LO? 246 00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,832 OH, NOT MUCH. JUST A GOOD LAUGH. 247 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,792 DO YOUR THING, HECKLER. 248 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,587 WOW. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START. 249 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,048 IS THE CLOWN STILL CHASING YOU? 250 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,466 WHAT CLOWN? 251 00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:13,678 THE ONE YOU STOLE THAT FRIGHT WIG YOU CALL HAIR FROM. 252 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,971 AND THOSE GLASSES. 253 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:18,850 LET ME GUESS. YOU'RE GOING FOR A CAREER IN WELDING? 254 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,769 Both: HA HA! 255 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,271 YOU CALL THIS HOME? 256 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,981 IF YOU LOOK UP SHANTY IN THE DICTIONARY, 257 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,483 THERE'S A PICTURE OF THIS PLACE. 258 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,860 I'VE SEEN NICER CARDBOARD BOXES 259 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:29,736 ON SKID ROW. 260 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,905 BACK OFF, STITCH. HE'S RIGHT. 261 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,865 OUR HOUSE IS KIND OF A DUMP. 262 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,325 I KNOW THAT YOU'RE DONATING THE TABLES 263 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,826 OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF YOUR HEART, 264 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,828 BUT WE EXPECT A LARGE TURNOUT, 265 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,872 AND WE NEED MORE THAN 2. 266 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,540 SO IF YOU COULD-- 267 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,542 HELLO? 268 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,503 UHH! 269 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,380 SOMEBODY NEEDS TO BE INTRODUCED 270 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:52,258 TO A LITTLE CONCEPT CALLED ANGER MANAGEMENT. 271 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,052 OH, GREAT. WHAT'S THIS ONE? 272 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,846 UNLESS IT'S A CHARITY EVENT ORGANIZER EXPERIMENT, 273 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,015 I DON'T THINK I'M IN THE MOOD. 274 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,767 NANI, THIS IS HECKLER. 275 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,560 HECKLER, THIS IS NANI. 276 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,145 HOW DO YOU DO, HIPPO HIPS? 277 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,605 WHAT DID HE SAY? 278 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,731 HA HA! 279 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,817 THAT'S A GOOD ONE, HECKLER. 280 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:09,818 AND WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? 281 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:12,779 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. 282 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,281 YOU DO HAVE HIPPO HIPS. 283 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,241 WHAT?! 284 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,159 DID I JUST HEAR WHAT I'M THINKING? 285 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,829 EXPERIMENT 322, IS THAT YOU? 286 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,914 YOU LOOK GOOD. 287 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:23,915 SO DO YOU, 288 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:24,874 IF BY "GOOD" 289 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,585 YOU MEAN BALD, FOUR-EYED, AND UGLY. 290 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,628 HA HA HA! 291 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,296 YES, THAT'S 322, ALL RIGHT. 292 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,841 THE PROGRAM TO DESTROY ENEMY'S SELF-CONFIDENCE 293 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,677 BY MERCILESSLY TAUNTING AND HUMILIATING HIM-- 294 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,971 ONE OF THE BEST IDEAS I'VE EVER HAD. 295 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,849 MORE LIKE ONLY IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD, 296 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:44,019 WHICH EXPLAINS WHY YOU'RE LIVING ON THIS PODUNK PLANET 297 00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,186 WITH THESE LOSERS. 298 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,981 [MUFFLED SHOUTING] 299 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,737 GET RID OF THAT THING NOW! 300 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,447 BUT HE'S FUNNY. 301 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:57,615 [MUFFLED SHOUTING] 302 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,868 YOU TASTE LIKE OLD SOCK! 303 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,662 OHH! NAGA TOTO. 304 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,874 LILO, MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE'S SHORTCOMINGS 305 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:08,126 NOT ONLY ISN'T FUNNY, 306 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,502 IT ISN'T NICE. 307 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,672 YOU JUST DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR. 308 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,257 LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO ARGUE ABOUT THIS NOW. 309 00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:18,094 YOU KEEP THAT THING OUT OF MY SIGHT UNTIL AFTER THE EVENT. 310 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,929 GOT IT? 311 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,142 HELLO? ABOUT THOSE 2 TABLES, 312 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,393 I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT, 313 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:29,898 AND THEY'RE JUST THE PERFECT SIZE FOR MY EVENT. 314 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:30,899 WHERE'S PLEAKLEY? 315 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:34,986 OUTSIDE PRACTICING UN-COMEDY ROUTINE. 316 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:38,073 AND YOU, SIR, WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 317 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,991 OH, WASHINGTON. REALLY? 318 00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:43,536 THE STATE, THE CITY, OR THE DEAD PRESIDENT? 319 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,790 HEE HEE! DEAD PRESIDENT. 320 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,541 WHERE'D THIS GUY LEARN COMEDY? 321 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,626 A FUNERAL PARLOR? 322 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,795 'CAUSE HE'S GONNA DIE OUT THERE. 323 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,672 CAN YOU HELP HIM? 324 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,423 THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I CAN THINK OF 325 00:11:55,423 --> 00:12:00,345 THAT'LL MAKE THIS GUY'S STAND-UP FUN TO WATCH. 326 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,013 TOMATOES? 327 00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,390 ADABA. 328 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,725 EVER SINCE THE FIRST LOOSER SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL, 329 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,976 COMEDY'S BEEN ALL ABOUT LAUGHING 330 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,896 AT OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPENSE, RIGHT? 331 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:10,855 I GUESS. 332 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:11,815 SO IF A GUY'S JOKES AREN'T FUNNY, 333 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,900 YOU CAN AT LEAST GET A YUK OR TWO 334 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,944 OUT OF THROWING TOMATOES AT HIM. 335 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,070 I DON'T KNOW. 336 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,906 THESE ARE PRETTY BIG. THEY COULD HURT. 337 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,909 THAT'S WHY YOU USE THE ROTTEN ONES, GENIUS. 338 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:27,664 WELL...YOU'RE THE COMEDY EXPERT. 339 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,253 PLATE, FLATWARE, 340 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,338 ROTTEN TOMATO. 341 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,675 PLATE, FLATWARE, 342 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,886 ROTTEN TOMATO. 343 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,597 POCHEEFA. 344 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,017 LILO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 345 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,018 DON'T WORRY, NANI. 346 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:50,770 EVERYTHING'S PERFECTLY UNDER CONTROL, 347 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,189 THANKS TO HECKLER. 348 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,317 [SOBS] I QUIT! 349 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:59,446 LEILANI, WAIT! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! 350 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,572 WHAT HAPPENED? 351 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:01,948 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT, 352 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:06,119 BUT THIS APRON MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A BIG, FAT PENGUIN! 353 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,204 WHAT?! SAYS WHO? 354 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,289 I'M QUITTING, TOO. 355 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,125 THIS HAT DOES MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A DWEEB. 356 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,045 MAN, THESE PEOPLE ARE TOO EASY. 357 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,088 TALK ABOUT LOW SELF-ESTEEM. 358 00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,674 WHO'S NEXT? I'M ON A ROLL. 359 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,717 LILO! 360 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,011 I SPENT 3 DAYS TRYING TO PULL TOGETHER 361 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,054 A CREW FOR THIS, 362 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,847 AND YOUR EXPERIMENT IS INSULTING THEM 363 00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:27,390 RIGHT OUT THE DOOR! 364 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,893 BUT HE MAKES ME LAUGH. 365 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,144 NOT HARD TO DO, SMALL FRY. 366 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,731 YOU'RE GIGGLIER THAN 2 PACKS OF LAUGHING HYENAS. 367 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:35,774 HEY! 368 00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:37,650 BUT GIGGLING BEATS THAT WHINE OF YOURS. 369 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,861 "STIIITCH!" OUCH. 370 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,404 FINGERNAILS MEET BLACKBOARD. 371 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,281 BLACKBOARD, FINGERNAILS. 372 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,116 OH, AND MRS. HASEGAWA CALLED. 373 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,326 SHE WANTS THAT POTATO 374 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,119 YOU'RE USING FOR A NOSE BACK. 375 00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,913 THAT'S NOT FUNNY. 376 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,664 TYPICAL. IT'S ONLY FUNNY 377 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,832 WHEN IT'S THE OTHER GUY. 378 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,834 WELL, IT'S BEEN REAL, 379 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,711 BUT I GOTTA RUN. 380 00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:58,838 GET HIM, STITCH. 381 00:13:58,838 --> 00:13:59,798 FINALLY. 382 00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:00,840 [CRASH] 383 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,342 ALL RIGHT, EARTH FORMS, 384 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,843 HAND OVER THE TROG. 385 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,970 PERFECT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 386 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,682 YOU WANT HIM? TAKE HIM! 387 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:09,599 NANI, NO! 388 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,850 HE'S OHANA. 389 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,020 WE HAVE TO FIND HIS ONE TRUE PLACE. 390 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,146 WE CAN'T JUST-- 391 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,481 Heckler: AGAIN WITH THE OHANA 392 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,066 AND THE ONE TRUE PLACE! 393 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:22,112 I SEE YOU'VE READ THE DICTIONARY OF 2 PHRASES COVER TO COVER. 394 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,698 TAKE HIM. 395 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,408 GLADLY. 396 00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:30,537 YOU TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER! 397 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,746 STITCH, FIX THE DOOR 398 00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:34,416 SO I CAN SLAM IT ON THEM. 399 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,712 [HAMMERING] 400 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,255 AND FOR THE RECORD, 401 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:44,801 MY NOSE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A POTATO! 402 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,806 [MUFFLED SHOUTING] 403 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,767 MAYOR OF LOSERVILLE, INDEED. 404 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,436 MAYOR OF LOSERVILLE. 405 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,981 HA HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 406 00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,315 DR. HAMSTERVIEL, 407 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,776 I'VE FINALLY CAUGHT AN EXPERIMENT. 408 00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,611 IT INSULTS PEOPLE. 409 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:04,738 IS THAT ALL?! 410 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,032 I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF INSULTING PEOPLE 411 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,492 IN MY OWN GENIUS FASHION, 412 00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,953 YOU RUBBER-HEADED RUBBER FISH THING! 413 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,872 RUBBER-HEADED RUBBER FISH? 414 00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:16,291 YOU CALL THAT A GENIUS INSULT? 415 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:19,419 I'VE SEEN BETTER DIGS IN MY VEGETABLE GARDEN. 416 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,838 WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT INSULTS, 417 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:26,301 YOU WITH YOUR TEETH AND GARISH...MARKING? 418 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,385 WHAT'S THE "H" STAND FOR? 419 00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:30,305 "HELP, I'VE GOT A TOWEL AROUND MY NECK?" 420 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,057 YOU'RE OVERLY TALKING, OVER-TALKER! 421 00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,309 WELL, I COULD SEE YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE ACCENT. 422 00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:37,812 I ALMOST UNDERSTOOD A WORD YOU SAID JUST NOW. 423 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,189 [SHOUTS GIBBERISH] 424 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,900 OH, NICE COMEBACK. 425 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,193 YOU--YOU! 426 00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,986 [MOCKING] I--I--I'M WONDERING 427 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,029 WHAT ARE YOU ANYWAY? 428 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,030 THE NAME SAYS HAMSTER, 429 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,366 BUT THE TAIL'S ALL POODLE. 430 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,534 GANTU! 431 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,995 I DO NOT LIKE THIS UNLIKABLE EXPERIMENT! 432 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,039 SET HIM FREE! SET HIM FREE! 433 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,207 BUT I FINALLY-- 434 00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,210 GO AHEAD, YOU SLOPPY IMPERSONATOR OF A SLOB! 435 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:03,880 [SIGHS] YES, SIR. 436 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,342 HA HA! 437 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:08,593 HATE TO INSULT AND LEAVE. 438 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,512 ACTUALLY, I LOVE IT. 439 00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:11,638 AH, TOO BAD. 440 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,431 I COULD USE SOME INSULT BACKUP AROUND HERE. 441 00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:15,475 SO, MR. MAYOR, WHAT'S YOUR NEXT DECREE 442 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,019 TO THE PEOPLE OF LOSERVILLE? 443 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,354 GRR! 444 00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,940 I JUST FLEW IN FROM MAUI. 445 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:24,609 I JUST FLEW IN FROM MAUI. 446 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:27,278 I JUST FLEW IN FROM MAUI. 447 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,156 DOES MY NOSE REALLY LOOK LIKE A POTATO? 448 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,701 YOU CAN TELL ME IF IT DOES. 449 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:33,993 NO, OF COURSE NOT. 450 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,161 WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE. 451 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,830 BUT WHO SAYS THAT'S A BAD THING? 452 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,623 LOOK, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? 453 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,916 IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR ME TO MEET 454 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,793 MY SOON-TO-BE ADORING PUBLIC. 455 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:44,087 ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? 456 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,922 PEOPLE COULD MAKE FUN OF YOU, 457 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,924 AND IT'S NO FUN, TRUST ME. 458 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,134 OH, COME ON. 459 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:50,802 IF NAMES ARE THE WORST THING 460 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:50,802 THEY THROW AT ME, 461 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,345 I'LL BE FINE. 462 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,972 THE TOMATOES! 463 00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,598 Nani: ALOHA, EVERYONE. 464 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,809 I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING OUT 465 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,436 AND SUPPORTING THIS GREAT CHARITY. 466 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:05,442 AND NOW, THE COMEDY STYLINGS 467 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:05,442 OF P.L. EAKLEY! 468 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,235 THAT'S MY CUE! 469 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,820 PLEAKLEY, WAIT! 470 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,530 GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GERMS, 471 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,198 I JUST FLEW IN FROM MAUI, 472 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,908 AND, BOY, ARE MY ARMS TIRED. 473 00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,453 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 474 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,455 WHAT ARE CRICKETS DOING HERE? 475 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,880 THEY SAY THAT CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME. 476 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,425 SO WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING HERE? 477 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,425 GO HOME! 478 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:31,760 [MICROPHONE FEEDBACK] 479 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,802 AHEM. 480 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,764 PLEAKLEY'S DYING OUT THERE. 481 00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:38,308 SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH COCONUTS? 482 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:41,061 THEY'RE NOT MADE OF COCOA AND THEY'RE NOT NUTS, 483 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,021 AND WHAT ABOUT PINEAPPLE? 484 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,898 NEITHER PIE NOR APPLE. 485 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,942 THIS LANGUAGE IS CRAZY! 486 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,736 [FEEDBACK] 487 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:54,157 HI. IS THIS THING WORKING? 488 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,617 I KNOW I AM. 489 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:59,329 SO, ANYONE HERE FROM OUT OF TOWN? 490 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,664 I AM! 491 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,958 Lilo: OH, NO! HECKLER'S BACK. 492 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,127 HE'S GONNA RIP PLEAKLEY TO SHREDS. 493 00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,420 WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING 494 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,506 BEFORE EVERYONE STARTS PELTING HIM 495 00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,299 WITH ROTTEN TOMATOES. 496 00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:13,093 AND WHERE ARE YOU FROM, SIR? 497 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,220 AHH! 498 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,972 HA HA! EXCUSE ME. 499 00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,724 OH, BOY, THAT IS AN UGLY TIE. 500 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,600 WHOA. PARDON ME. 501 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,186 YEAH, YOU. GET OUT OF THE WAY. 502 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,438 PARDON ME. EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME. 503 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,148 WHOOPS. SORRY. COMIN' THROUGH. 504 00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,817 [GASPS] 505 00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:32,445 UGH! 506 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:36,408 STITCH, YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MESS! 507 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,536 EWW! 508 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,248 OHH. 509 00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,418 PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE DISTURBANCE IN THE AUDIENCE, FOLKS. 510 00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:48,878 [SHOUTING] 511 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,423 HA HA HA! 512 00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:52,966 WHOOPS. 513 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,843 HEY! 514 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:56,803 HA HA! 515 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:57,762 [GASPS] 516 00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,764 SO A HORSE WALKS INTO A BAR 517 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,809 AND THE BARTENDER SAYS-- 518 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,853 HA HA HA! 519 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:05,979 LILO'S RIGHT. 520 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,314 WHO AM I KIDDING? I'M NOT FUNNY. 521 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,190 I'LL SAY! 522 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,942 YOU'RE SO NOT FUNNY THAT-- 523 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,153 THE ONLY THING FUNNY ABOUT ME IS MY LOOKS. 524 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:15,280 WHAT'S UP WITH THIS HAIR? 525 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,781 [LAUGHTER] 526 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,700 OR SHOULD I SAY LACK OF HAIR? 527 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,453 I MEAN, MY SCALP'S SO SHINY THAT WHEN I GO TO THE BEACH, 528 00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:25,540 THE GLINT MAKES THE SEAGULLS CRASH. 529 00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,417 BUT WAIT, THAT'S MY LINE. 530 00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,210 AND HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BIGGER EYE? 531 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,379 WHY, THE OTHER DAY I STARTED CRYING, 532 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:34,090 THERE WAS A FLASH FLOOD. 533 00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:43,892 OH, YEAH? WELL-- 534 00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:49,856 THAT LITTLE GIRL'S NOSE LOOKS LIKE... 535 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:50,899 A POTATO? 536 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:52,859 YOU ALREADY TRIED THAT ONE. 537 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,735 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 538 00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:55,403 YOU'RE RIGHT. IT KIND OF DOES. 539 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,780 [LAUGHTER] 540 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:57,781 AND DOES THIS STUPID APRON 541 00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:01,201 MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A PENGUIN OR WHAT? 542 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,869 MY EARS ARE SO BIG, 543 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,662 EVERY TIME I GO TO THE ZOO, 544 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,457 THE ELEPHANTS FOLLOW ME HOME. 545 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,958 MY REAR'S SO BIG, 546 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,210 I ONCE HIP-CHECKED A GUY 547 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,921 ALL THE WAY TO OAHU. 548 00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,923 BUT I--YOU-- 549 00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:16,132 I GOT NOTHING. 550 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:20,929 [SOBBING] 551 00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:22,514 GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY! TRY THE VEAL 552 00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:25,350 AND DON'T FORGET TO TIP THE WAITRESSES. 553 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:29,688 [CHEERING] 554 00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:31,898 PLEAKLEY, YOU DID IT! 555 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:32,982 THAT WAS SO FUNNY. 556 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,443 YOU OUT HECKLED HECKLER. 557 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:36,736 WE ALL DID. 558 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,655 I ALMOST FORGOT THE FIRST RULE OF STAND-UP COMEDY: 559 00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,865 STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK YOUR BONES, 560 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,367 BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT YOU, 561 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,036 UNLESS THEY'RE CARVED IN STONE AND THROWN AT YOU. 562 00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:47,580 THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD RULE FOR LIFE, TOO. 563 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,709 IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO TELL ME, NANI? 564 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,419 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 565 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,795 BEING MEAN ISN'T FUNNY. 566 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,755 IT JUST GETS PEOPLE MAD AT YOU. 567 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,467 I GUESS HECKLER'S GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN THAT. 568 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:02,053 [SOBBING] 569 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:04,639 I'M ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD. 570 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,558 YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THE WORLD. 571 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:07,767 ALL WE HAVE TO DO NOW 572 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,812 IS FIND THE ONE TRUE PLACE WHERE YOU BELONG, 573 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:14,024 SOMEWHERE WHERE PEOPLE EXPECT TO GET HECKLED. 574 00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,066 HELLO! 575 00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,443 FINALLY, JUMBA HAS ARRIVED 576 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:19,988 WITH HIS CONTRIBUTION TO LARGER GIRL'S CHARITY. 577 00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,489 OF COURSE, 578 00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,489 I'VE FIGURED OUT A WAY 579 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,117 TO ADD A LITTLE EVIL TO IT. HA HA! 580 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:28,163 WELL, THIS WORKS OUT NICELY. 581 00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:29,330 [BLOWS RASPBERRY] 582 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,874 YOU CALL THAT A PITCH? 583 00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,959 YOU THROW LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. 584 00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,044 I AM A LITTLE GIRL, 585 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,254 AND I'M ONLY HERE 'CAUSE LILO CALLED ME 586 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:40,884 AND TOLD ME HOW TO GET BACK AT YOU, FREAK! 587 00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:49,184 AT LEAST I FINALLY GOT MYRTLE 588 00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:51,353 TO COME TO THE CHARITY DINNER. 589 00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:54,564 SORRY I MADE FUN OF YOUR HIPPO HIPS. 590 00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:55,607 NO PROBLEM. 591 00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:59,778 I LOVE MY HIPS, POTATO NOSE. 592 00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:01,821 [LAUGHING] 38746

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