Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,542 --> 00:00:02,460
TOOKIE BAH WABA!
2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:04,754
HAO!
3
00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:06,631
IKI BAH BAH.
4
00:00:06,631 --> 00:00:08,133
HA HA HA.
5
00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:12,554
d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d
6
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,347
d NO MALIHINI OHANA d
7
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,891
d WELCOME, COUSINS,
A-COME ON BY d
8
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,601
d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d
9
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,477
MAKA MAKA.
10
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,479
d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d
11
00:00:21,479 --> 00:00:23,273
d NO MALIHINI OHANA d
12
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,817
d WELCOME, COUSINS,
A-COME ON BY d
13
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,986
d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d
14
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,780
d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d
15
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:31,740
HEH HEH HA HA HA!
16
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,034
AH HEH HEH HEH
HEH HEH HEH HEH!
17
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,076
d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d
18
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,161
d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d
19
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,245
d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d
20
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,496
d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d
21
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,706
d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d
22
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,874
d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d
23
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,708
OOOCHA!
CHI-KA!
24
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:42,667
d MIKI MIKI COCONUT d
25
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,961
d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d
26
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,172
d NO MALIHINI OHANA d
27
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,382
d WELCOME, COUSINS,
A-COME ON BY d
28
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,967
d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d
29
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:51,885
TOOKIE BAH WABA!
30
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,219
d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d
31
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,179
AH HEH HEH HEH HEH!
32
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,222
d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d
33
00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,224
BYE!
34
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:11,112
OK, STITCH,
YOU LET ME
DO THE TALKING.
35
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,948
I'M SURE I CAN
CONVINCE HER TO HELP US.
36
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,575
OH-KEE TUCKAH!
37
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,952
I KNOW SHE CAN
BE MEAN SOMETIMES,
38
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:21,164
BUT I HAVE A FEELING
THAT THIS TIME
WILL BE DIFFERENT.
39
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:25,335
I MEAN, IT'S FOR
A GOOD CAUSE, RIGHT?
40
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,631
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
41
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,884
MY SISTER NANI'S
THROWING A BIG
DINNER FOR CHARITY
42
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,594
ON FRIDAY NIGHT.
43
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:35,679
SO?
44
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:36,888
I THOUGHT WE COULD
PUT THE PAST BEHIND US
45
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:40,433
AND COME TOGETHER...
IN THE SPIRIT OF KOKUA.
46
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:41,434
HELPING.
47
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:42,977
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
48
00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,896
YOUR DOGGIE
IS SO UGLY,
49
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,815
IT MAKES
MY EYES HURT.
50
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,817
Girls: YEAH!
51
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,861
HA HA HA!
52
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,739
GOOD ONE, MYRTLE.
53
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,076
COME ON, STITCH.
54
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,578
YOU'RE AVAILABLE!
THAT'S GREAT!
55
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:04,791
WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM
FOR YOU AND YOUR
DANCING POODLES.
56
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,460
YOU CHARGE HOW MUCH?
57
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,254
[CASH REGISTER RINGS]
58
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,798
UH, THE THING IS...
59
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,884
IT'S A CHARITY EVENT,
AND WE WERE HOPING--
60
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:17,554
HELLO? HELLO?
61
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,888
OH!
62
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:21,683
WELL, WE DIDN'T
GET PETE AND HIS
PRANCING POODLES.
63
00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,936
[SIGHS]
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
64
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:26,521
OW!
65
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,772
IF YOU
NEED ENTERTAINMENT,
66
00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,983
I STRONGLY SUGGEST
YOU HIRE ONE OF THESE.
67
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,944
IT'S CALLED
A STAND-UP COMEDIAN.
68
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,197
TV Announcer: THIS WEEK ON
MY FUNNIEST VALENTINE...
69
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,283
BUT SERIOUSLY,
THERE ARE BENEFITS
70
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,868
TO DATING A MAN
WHO COMES WITH
HIS OWN PADDING.
71
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,079
IT'S LIKE HAVING
A WALKING PILLOW WITH
YOU WHEREVER YOU GO.
72
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,330
AND IF WE EVER
FLEW TOGETHER,
73
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,125
I'D MAKE AN EXCELLENT
FLOTATION DEVICE.
74
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,960
HA HA HA!
75
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,045
[SCOFFS]
76
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,880
WHY IS MAKING FUN OF
OVERLY ROTUND SELF?
77
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,175
WELL, EARTHLINGS DEVELOP
A SENSE OF HUMOR
ABOUT THEMSELVES
78
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,469
IN ORDER TO KEEP
FROM BEING HURT BY OTHERS.
79
00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,304
IT'S FASCINATING.
IN FACT--
80
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,223
OH, NO.
I KNOW THAT
LOOK IN YOUR EYE.
81
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,851
DON'T WORRY,
THIS ISN'T LIKE THE TIME
82
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,478
I WANTED TO BE
AN ICE DANCER.
83
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:09,230
YES, I UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU'RE A BUSY BAND,
84
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,233
BUT MY FIRST, SECOND,
THIRD, FOURTH,
85
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,362
AND FIFTH CHOICE BANDS
ALL DECLINED, SO--
86
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,654
[PHONE HANGS UP]
87
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,781
HELLO?
88
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,991
NANI, YOUR
ENTERTAINMENT
BOOKING TROUBLES
89
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:20,992
ARE OVER.
90
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,203
YOUR CHARITY DINNER
WILL BE MY DEBUT
91
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,830
AS A STAND-UP
COMEDIAN!
92
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,499
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
HUH? HUH?
93
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:31,795
IF I LET YOU PERFORM,
WILL YOU DO THE CATERING, TOO?
94
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,839
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
SHE SAID OK!
95
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,549
I HAVE MY FIRST GIG!
96
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,967
I'M LEGIT!
97
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:40,136
I'M GONNA GO
BUY A NEW OUTFIT.
98
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,888
SOMETHING THAT
SCREAMS HILARITY
99
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,599
AND COMES WITH
MATCHING SHOES.
100
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:49,396
JUMBA DOES NOT
UNDERSTAND THIS
CHARITY BUSINESS.
101
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,481
IS NO EVIL IN IT,
SO WHAT IS POINT?
102
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:54,776
THERE'S PLENTY OF
EVIL ORGANIZING IT,
THAT'S FOR SURE.
103
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:59,823
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY I BOTHER WITH
THIS STUPID CHARITY STUFF.
104
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,074
I MEAN...
105
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,786
CHARITY WORK IS ONE OF
THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS
106
00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:05,954
WE CAN DO IN LIFE.
107
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,997
MYRTLE
DOESN'T THINK SO.
108
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:09,708
SO HER FAMILY'S
NOT COMING?
109
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,335
NO. SHE CALLED
STITCH UGLY
110
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,087
AND LAUGHED AT US.
111
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,088
LIKA POO CHIFA.
112
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,924
OH, LILO.
THAT'S MEAN,
113
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,884
MAKING FUN
OF HOW PEOPLE LOOK.
114
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:20,927
BUT YOU JUST GOTTA--
115
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,929
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
116
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,389
ALOHA.
117
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,640
OH, YEAH.
118
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,808
THANKS
FOR CALLING BACK.
119
00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:29,019
I'M WONDERING IF
YOU'D BE INTERESTED
120
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,521
IN DONATING
250 POUNDS OF POI.
121
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:32,897
IT'S FOR CHARITY.
122
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:35,859
COME ON, STITCH.
123
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,695
[TAKING DEEP BREATHS]
124
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,242
OH, GANTU,
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
125
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,619
SOME CHARITY ORGANIZATION
CAME AROUND
126
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,246
ASKING FOR DONATIONS.
127
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,289
I CAN'T HEAR YOU
BLABBING
128
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,833
OVER MY DEEP,
CALMING BREATHS.
129
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,002
[TAKES DEEP BREATH]
130
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,796
SO I GAVE THEM YOUR BED
AND YOUR CLOTHES.
131
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,924
OH, AND THAT STUFFED
TEDDY BEAR THING
YOU SLEEP WITH.
132
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:03,261
I AM AT PEACE!
133
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,763
I CAN SEE THAT.
134
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,473
Computerized voice:
WARNING.
135
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,225
EXPERIMENT 322 ACTIVATED.
136
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,310
PRIMARY FUNCTION--
137
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,937
UNDERMINE ENEMY MORALE
WITH VERBAL ABUSE.
138
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,481
VERBAL ABUSE?
139
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,024
LIKE INSULTS?
140
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:18,526
AN EXPERIMENT THAT
DOESN'T MELT, BLOW UP,
OR IMPLODE ANYTHING?
141
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:21,780
LIKE STEALING CANDY
FROM A BABY.
142
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,409
AHH. REFRESHING.
143
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:27,535
ALL OUR CONDOMINIUMS
144
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,913
FEATURE GRADE "A"
WATER FILTRATION SYSTEMS
145
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,331
AND THE FABULOUS VIEWS
OF--
146
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,292
FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE,
IS THAT A DEAD RAT
ON YOUR HEAD?
147
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,251
PARDON ME?
148
00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,252
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
149
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,254
MOST PEOPLE WON'T NOTICE
YOUR TOUPEE
150
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,923
'CAUSE
THEY'LL BE BLINDED
151
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,424
BY THAT TACKY SHIRT!
152
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,094
[LAUGHTER]
153
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,889
IT IS GOOD TO BE ME.
154
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:52,602
AND WHAT IS THE DEAL
155
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:52,602
WITH THOSE TRICKY SHARKS
156
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:52,602
AND DOLPHINS?
157
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:53,770
THEY LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE
158
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,855
EXCEPT ONE WILL SWIM YOU
159
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,855
TO SAFETY
160
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,982
AND ONE WILL EAT YOU ALIVE.
161
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:01,569
CAN WE GET A WARNING SIGN
162
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:01,569
OR SOMETHING?
163
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,698
THAT'S IT.
164
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,698
THAT'S THE PUNCH LINE.
165
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,866
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
LAUGHING NOW.
166
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:07,951
COME ON, EVERYBODY,
167
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,994
NOW LAUGHING. HA HA!
168
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,038
BUT IT WASN'T FUNNY.
169
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,164
BUT I CONSTRUCTED THE JOKE
170
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,208
WITH A PROPER SETUP
OF PUNCH LINE FORMAT.
171
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,336
IT WAS BASED
ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
172
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,921
STILL NOT FUNNY.
173
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,423
OK, OK, I GET IT!
174
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,258
STILL, BY ALL
TECHNICAL MEASURES,
175
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,844
MY JOKES SHOULD BE FUNNY.
176
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,846
GUESS I'M JUST
MISSING SOMETHING.
177
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,597
THIS CALLS FOR...
178
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,433
EARLY RETIREMENT?
PEBOOZ.
179
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,227
NO! MORE RESEARCH!
180
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,022
PERHAPS JUMBA
WILL CREATE
EVIL GENIUS DEVICE
181
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:40,275
TO REPLACE
STAND-UP ACT.
182
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,943
PLEAKLEY'S HOPELESS.
183
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,445
I WISH WE COULD
HELP HIM,
184
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,196
BUT I DON'T HAVE
THE SLIGHTEST CLUE
185
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,781
ABOUT HOW TO BE FUNNY.
186
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,241
MEEGA NAGA.
187
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,660
COMIN' THROUGH!
188
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:53,371
Both: HUH?
189
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,207
HUH?
190
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,207
AHH!
191
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,001
OUT OF MY WAY!
192
00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,171
I'VE GOT AN
EXPERIMENT TO CATCH.
193
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,131
COME ON!
194
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,135
NICE "D,"
195
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,721
OR SHOULD I SAY "D" MINUS?
196
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,848
EXCUSE ME. PARDON ME.
197
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,683
EXCUSE ME, SIR...
198
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,726
I MEAN MADAM.
199
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,978
[FOOTSTEPS]
200
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,978
WHOA!
201
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,938
AAH!
202
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,569
d MISSED ME,
MISSED ME d
203
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,946
d NOW YOU GOTTA
KISS ME d
204
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:27,697
BUT WHOO!
205
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,741
TRY A BREATH MINT FIRST.
206
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,659
QUIET, FREAK!
207
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:40,168
UHH!
208
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,419
HA HA HA!
209
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,837
IF I WERE YOU,
I'D BE TRYING
210
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,255
TO BURY
MY UGLY MUG, TOO.
211
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:47,300
HEY, HE'S MEAN,
AND IT'S FUNNY.
212
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,927
[LAUGHS]
213
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,220
GRR!
214
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,013
WHY, YOU LITTLE--
215
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,515
YOU GUYS GET A LOAD
OF THAT SWING?
216
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:56,643
LOOKS LIKE YOUR MUG
AIN'T THE ONLY
UGLY THING AROUND HERE.
217
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,894
AND WHAT'S
WITH THAT UNIFORM?
218
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,938
YOU PRETENDING
TO BE A COP OR SOMETHING?
219
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,940
WELL, NO. WELL, I'M--
220
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,525
NOT A COP, MY MISTAKE.
221
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,360
COPS ARE SMART AND BRAVE.
222
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,821
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY THE MAYOR.
223
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:08,613
THE WHAT?
224
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:11,282
THE MAYOR
OF LOSERVILLE!
225
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,200
AHH!
226
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,535
COME ON!
227
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:14,911
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT STITCH.
228
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,204
HE'LL CATCH UP.
229
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,206
YOU REALLY
TOLD GANTU OFF.
230
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,124
YOU'RE FUNNY.
231
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:21,418
I THINK I'LL CALL YOU
"HECKLER."
232
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,753
WHO DIED AND MADE YOU
NAME-GIVER?
233
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,046
NOBODY.
234
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,506
IT'S, LIKE, MY JOB.
235
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,925
WELL, MAYBE
YOU SHOULD BE FIRED.
236
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:29,926
AHH!
237
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,052
STITCH!
238
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,762
BE NICE TO HECKLER.
239
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,722
HE CAN HELP US
FIGURE OUT
240
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,182
HOW TO SAVE
PLEAKLEY'S COMEDY ACT.
241
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,435
BUT FIRST,
I'M CURIOUS TO SEE
242
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,813
HOW HE HANDLES
A CERTAIN SOMEONE,
243
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,274
SOMEONE WHOSE NAME
STARTS WITH AN "M"
244
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:48,194
AND ENDS WITH AN "YRTLE."
245
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,996
WHAT DO YOU WANT,
WEIRD-LO?
246
00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,832
OH, NOT MUCH.
JUST A GOOD LAUGH.
247
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,792
DO YOUR THING,
HECKLER.
248
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,587
WOW. I DON'T KNOW
WHERE TO START.
249
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:08,048
IS THE CLOWN
STILL CHASING YOU?
250
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,466
WHAT CLOWN?
251
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:13,678
THE ONE YOU STOLE
THAT FRIGHT WIG
YOU CALL HAIR FROM.
252
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,971
AND THOSE GLASSES.
253
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:18,850
LET ME GUESS. YOU'RE GOING
FOR A CAREER IN WELDING?
254
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,769
Both: HA HA!
255
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,271
YOU CALL THIS HOME?
256
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:24,981
IF YOU LOOK UP SHANTY
IN THE DICTIONARY,
257
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,483
THERE'S A PICTURE
OF THIS PLACE.
258
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,860
I'VE SEEN
NICER CARDBOARD BOXES
259
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:29,736
ON SKID ROW.
260
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,905
BACK OFF, STITCH.
HE'S RIGHT.
261
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,865
OUR HOUSE
IS KIND OF A DUMP.
262
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,325
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE
DONATING THE TABLES
263
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,826
OUT OF THE KINDNESS
OF YOUR HEART,
264
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,828
BUT WE EXPECT
A LARGE TURNOUT,
265
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,872
AND WE NEED MORE THAN 2.
266
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,540
SO IF YOU COULD--
267
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,542
HELLO?
268
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,503
UHH!
269
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,380
SOMEBODY NEEDS
TO BE INTRODUCED
270
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:52,258
TO A LITTLE CONCEPT
CALLED ANGER MANAGEMENT.
271
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,052
OH, GREAT. WHAT'S THIS ONE?
272
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,846
UNLESS IT'S A CHARITY EVENT
ORGANIZER EXPERIMENT,
273
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,015
I DON'T THINK I'M IN THE MOOD.
274
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,767
NANI, THIS IS HECKLER.
275
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,560
HECKLER, THIS IS NANI.
276
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,145
HOW DO YOU DO,
HIPPO HIPS?
277
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,605
WHAT DID HE SAY?
278
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,731
HA HA!
279
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,817
THAT'S A GOOD ONE,
HECKLER.
280
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:09,818
AND WHY ARE YOU
LAUGHING?
281
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:12,779
IT'S FUNNY
BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.
282
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,281
YOU DO HAVE HIPPO HIPS.
283
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,241
WHAT?!
284
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,159
DID I JUST HEAR
WHAT I'M THINKING?
285
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,829
EXPERIMENT 322,
IS THAT YOU?
286
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,914
YOU LOOK GOOD.
287
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:23,915
SO DO YOU,
288
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:24,874
IF BY "GOOD"
289
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,585
YOU MEAN BALD,
FOUR-EYED, AND UGLY.
290
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,628
HA HA HA!
291
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,296
YES, THAT'S 322, ALL RIGHT.
292
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,841
THE PROGRAM TO DESTROY
ENEMY'S SELF-CONFIDENCE
293
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,677
BY MERCILESSLY TAUNTING
AND HUMILIATING HIM--
294
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,971
ONE OF THE BEST IDEAS
I'VE EVER HAD.
295
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,849
MORE LIKE ONLY IDEA
YOU'VE EVER HAD,
296
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:44,019
WHICH EXPLAINS WHY
YOU'RE LIVING ON
THIS PODUNK PLANET
297
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,186
WITH THESE LOSERS.
298
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,981
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
299
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,737
GET RID OF THAT THING NOW!
300
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,447
BUT HE'S FUNNY.
301
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:57,615
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
302
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,868
YOU TASTE LIKE OLD SOCK!
303
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,662
OHH! NAGA TOTO.
304
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,874
LILO, MAKING FUN
OF PEOPLE'S SHORTCOMINGS
305
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:08,126
NOT ONLY ISN'T FUNNY,
306
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,502
IT ISN'T NICE.
307
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,672
YOU JUST DON'T HAVE
A SENSE OF HUMOR.
308
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,257
LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO ARGUE ABOUT THIS NOW.
309
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:18,094
YOU KEEP THAT THING
OUT OF MY SIGHT
UNTIL AFTER THE EVENT.
310
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,929
GOT IT?
311
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:24,142
HELLO? ABOUT THOSE 2 TABLES,
312
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,393
I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT,
313
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:29,898
AND THEY'RE JUST
THE PERFECT SIZE
FOR MY EVENT.
314
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:30,899
WHERE'S PLEAKLEY?
315
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:34,986
OUTSIDE PRACTICING
UN-COMEDY ROUTINE.
316
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:38,073
AND YOU, SIR,
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
317
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,991
OH, WASHINGTON. REALLY?
318
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:43,536
THE STATE, THE CITY,
OR THE DEAD PRESIDENT?
319
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,790
HEE HEE! DEAD PRESIDENT.
320
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,541
WHERE'D THIS GUY
LEARN COMEDY?
321
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,626
A FUNERAL PARLOR?
322
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,795
'CAUSE HE'S GONNA
DIE OUT THERE.
323
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,672
CAN YOU HELP HIM?
324
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,423
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
I CAN THINK OF
325
00:11:55,423 --> 00:12:00,345
THAT'LL MAKE THIS GUY'S
STAND-UP FUN TO WATCH.
326
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,013
TOMATOES?
327
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,390
ADABA.
328
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,725
EVER SINCE
THE FIRST LOOSER SLIPPED
ON A BANANA PEEL,
329
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,976
COMEDY'S BEEN
ALL ABOUT LAUGHING
330
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,896
AT OTHER PEOPLE'S
EXPENSE, RIGHT?
331
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:10,855
I GUESS.
332
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:11,815
SO IF A GUY'S JOKES
AREN'T FUNNY,
333
00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:13,900
YOU CAN AT LEAST
GET A YUK OR TWO
334
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,944
OUT OF THROWING
TOMATOES AT HIM.
335
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,070
I DON'T KNOW.
336
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,906
THESE ARE PRETTY BIG.
THEY COULD HURT.
337
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,909
THAT'S WHY YOU USE
THE ROTTEN ONES, GENIUS.
338
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:27,664
WELL...YOU'RE
THE COMEDY EXPERT.
339
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,253
PLATE, FLATWARE,
340
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,338
ROTTEN TOMATO.
341
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,675
PLATE, FLATWARE,
342
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,886
ROTTEN TOMATO.
343
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,597
POCHEEFA.
344
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,017
LILO, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
345
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,018
DON'T WORRY, NANI.
346
00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:50,770
EVERYTHING'S PERFECTLY
UNDER CONTROL,
347
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,189
THANKS TO HECKLER.
348
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,317
[SOBS]
I QUIT!
349
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:59,446
LEILANI, WAIT!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
350
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,572
WHAT HAPPENED?
351
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:01,948
I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO LOSE WEIGHT,
352
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:06,119
BUT THIS APRON
MAKES ME LOOK LIKE
A BIG, FAT PENGUIN!
353
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,204
WHAT?! SAYS WHO?
354
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,289
I'M QUITTING, TOO.
355
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,125
THIS HAT DOES MAKE ME
LOOK LIKE A DWEEB.
356
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,045
MAN, THESE PEOPLE
ARE TOO EASY.
357
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,088
TALK ABOUT LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
358
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,674
WHO'S NEXT? I'M ON A ROLL.
359
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,717
LILO!
360
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,011
I SPENT 3 DAYS
TRYING TO PULL TOGETHER
361
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,054
A CREW FOR THIS,
362
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,847
AND YOUR EXPERIMENT
IS INSULTING THEM
363
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:27,390
RIGHT OUT THE DOOR!
364
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,893
BUT HE MAKES ME LAUGH.
365
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,144
NOT HARD TO DO,
SMALL FRY.
366
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,731
YOU'RE GIGGLIER THAN 2 PACKS
OF LAUGHING HYENAS.
367
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:35,774
HEY!
368
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:37,650
BUT GIGGLING BEATS
THAT WHINE OF YOURS.
369
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,861
"STIIITCH!" OUCH.
370
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,404
FINGERNAILS
MEET BLACKBOARD.
371
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,281
BLACKBOARD,
FINGERNAILS.
372
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,116
OH, AND
MRS. HASEGAWA CALLED.
373
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,326
SHE WANTS THAT POTATO
374
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,119
YOU'RE USING
FOR A NOSE BACK.
375
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,913
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
376
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,664
TYPICAL.
IT'S ONLY FUNNY
377
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,832
WHEN IT'S
THE OTHER GUY.
378
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,834
WELL,
IT'S BEEN REAL,
379
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,711
BUT I GOTTA RUN.
380
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:58,838
GET HIM, STITCH.
381
00:13:58,838 --> 00:13:59,798
FINALLY.
382
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:00,840
[CRASH]
383
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,342
ALL RIGHT, EARTH FORMS,
384
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,843
HAND OVER THE TROG.
385
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,970
PERFECT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
386
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,682
YOU WANT HIM?
TAKE HIM!
387
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:09,599
NANI, NO!
388
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,850
HE'S OHANA.
389
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,020
WE HAVE TO FIND
HIS ONE TRUE PLACE.
390
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,146
WE CAN'T JUST--
391
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,481
Heckler:
AGAIN WITH THE OHANA
392
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,066
AND THE ONE TRUE PLACE!
393
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:22,112
I SEE YOU'VE READ
THE DICTIONARY OF 2 PHRASES
COVER TO COVER.
394
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,698
TAKE HIM.
395
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,408
GLADLY.
396
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:30,537
YOU TWO DESERVE
EACH OTHER!
397
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,746
STITCH, FIX THE DOOR
398
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:34,416
SO I CAN SLAM IT
ON THEM.
399
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,712
[HAMMERING]
400
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,255
AND FOR THE RECORD,
401
00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:44,801
MY NOSE DOES NOT
LOOK LIKE A POTATO!
402
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,806
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
403
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,767
MAYOR OF LOSERVILLE,
INDEED.
404
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,436
MAYOR OF LOSERVILLE.
405
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,981
HA HA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
406
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,315
DR. HAMSTERVIEL,
407
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,776
I'VE FINALLY CAUGHT
AN EXPERIMENT.
408
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,611
IT INSULTS PEOPLE.
409
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:04,738
IS THAT ALL?!
410
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,032
I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE
OF INSULTING PEOPLE
411
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,492
IN MY OWN GENIUS FASHION,
412
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,953
YOU RUBBER-HEADED
RUBBER FISH THING!
413
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,872
RUBBER-HEADED
RUBBER FISH?
414
00:15:13,872 --> 00:15:16,291
YOU CALL THAT
A GENIUS INSULT?
415
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:19,419
I'VE SEEN BETTER DIGS
IN MY VEGETABLE GARDEN.
416
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,838
WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT INSULTS,
417
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:26,301
YOU WITH YOUR
TEETH AND GARISH...MARKING?
418
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,385
WHAT'S THE "H"
STAND FOR?
419
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:30,305
"HELP, I'VE GOT A TOWEL
AROUND MY NECK?"
420
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:32,057
YOU'RE OVERLY TALKING,
OVER-TALKER!
421
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,309
WELL, I COULD SEE
YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
ON THE ACCENT.
422
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:37,812
I ALMOST
UNDERSTOOD A WORD
YOU SAID JUST NOW.
423
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,189
[SHOUTS GIBBERISH]
424
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,900
OH, NICE COMEBACK.
425
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,193
YOU--YOU!
426
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,986
[MOCKING]
I--I--I'M WONDERING
427
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,029
WHAT ARE YOU ANYWAY?
428
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,030
THE NAME
SAYS HAMSTER,
429
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,366
BUT THE TAIL'S
ALL POODLE.
430
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,534
GANTU!
431
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,995
I DO NOT LIKE THIS
UNLIKABLE EXPERIMENT!
432
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,039
SET HIM FREE!
SET HIM FREE!
433
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,207
BUT I FINALLY--
434
00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,210
GO AHEAD, YOU SLOPPY
IMPERSONATOR OF A SLOB!
435
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:03,880
[SIGHS]
YES, SIR.
436
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,342
HA HA!
437
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:08,593
HATE TO INSULT AND LEAVE.
438
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,512
ACTUALLY, I LOVE IT.
439
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:11,638
AH, TOO BAD.
440
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,431
I COULD USE SOME
INSULT BACKUP AROUND HERE.
441
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:15,475
SO, MR. MAYOR,
WHAT'S YOUR NEXT DECREE
442
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,019
TO THE PEOPLE
OF LOSERVILLE?
443
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,354
GRR!
444
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,940
I JUST FLEW IN FROM MAUI.
445
00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:24,609
I JUST FLEW IN
FROM MAUI.
446
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:27,278
I JUST FLEW IN FROM MAUI.
447
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,156
DOES MY NOSE REALLY
LOOK LIKE A POTATO?
448
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,701
YOU CAN TELL ME
IF IT DOES.
449
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:33,993
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
450
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,161
WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE.
451
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,830
BUT WHO SAYS
THAT'S A BAD THING?
452
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,623
LOOK, CAN WE TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER?
453
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,916
IT'S ALMOST TIME
FOR ME TO MEET
454
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,793
MY SOON-TO-BE
ADORING PUBLIC.
455
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:44,087
ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
456
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,922
PEOPLE COULD
MAKE FUN OF YOU,
457
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,924
AND IT'S NO FUN,
TRUST ME.
458
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,134
OH, COME ON.
459
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:50,802
IF NAMES ARE THE WORST THING
460
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:50,802
THEY THROW AT ME,
461
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,345
I'LL BE FINE.
462
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,972
THE TOMATOES!
463
00:16:53,972 --> 00:16:55,598
Nani: ALOHA, EVERYONE.
464
00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:57,809
I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL
FOR COMING OUT
465
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,436
AND SUPPORTING
THIS GREAT CHARITY.
466
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:05,442
AND NOW, THE COMEDY STYLINGS
467
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:05,442
OF P.L. EAKLEY!
468
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,235
THAT'S MY CUE!
469
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,820
PLEAKLEY, WAIT!
470
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,530
GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GERMS,
471
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,198
I JUST FLEW IN FROM MAUI,
472
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,908
AND, BOY, ARE MY ARMS TIRED.
473
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,453
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
474
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:18,455
WHAT ARE CRICKETS
DOING HERE?
475
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,880
THEY SAY THAT CHARITY
BEGINS AT HOME.
476
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,425
SO WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING HERE?
477
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,425
GO HOME!
478
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:31,760
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
479
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,802
AHEM.
480
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,764
PLEAKLEY'S DYING
OUT THERE.
481
00:17:36,348 --> 00:17:38,308
SO WHAT'S THE DEAL
WITH COCONUTS?
482
00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:41,061
THEY'RE NOT MADE OF COCOA
AND THEY'RE NOT NUTS,
483
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,021
AND WHAT ABOUT PINEAPPLE?
484
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,898
NEITHER PIE NOR APPLE.
485
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,942
THIS LANGUAGE IS CRAZY!
486
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:49,736
[FEEDBACK]
487
00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:54,157
HI. IS THIS THING WORKING?
488
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,617
I KNOW I AM.
489
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:59,329
SO, ANYONE HERE
FROM OUT OF TOWN?
490
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,664
I AM!
491
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,958
Lilo: OH, NO!
HECKLER'S BACK.
492
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,127
HE'S GONNA RIP
PLEAKLEY TO SHREDS.
493
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,420
WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
494
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,506
BEFORE EVERYONE
STARTS PELTING HIM
495
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:11,299
WITH ROTTEN TOMATOES.
496
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:13,093
AND WHERE
ARE YOU FROM, SIR?
497
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,220
AHH!
498
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,972
HA HA! EXCUSE ME.
499
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,724
OH, BOY,
THAT IS AN UGLY TIE.
500
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,600
WHOA. PARDON ME.
501
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,186
YEAH, YOU.
GET OUT OF THE WAY.
502
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,438
PARDON ME. EXCUSE ME.
PARDON ME.
503
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,148
WHOOPS. SORRY.
COMIN' THROUGH.
504
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,817
[GASPS]
505
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:32,445
UGH!
506
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:36,408
STITCH, YOU'RE MAKING
A HUGE MESS!
507
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,536
EWW!
508
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,248
OHH.
509
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,418
PAY NO ATTENTION
TO THE DISTURBANCE
IN THE AUDIENCE, FOLKS.
510
00:18:46,418 --> 00:18:48,878
[SHOUTING]
511
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,423
HA HA HA!
512
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:52,966
WHOOPS.
513
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,843
HEY!
514
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:56,803
HA HA!
515
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:57,762
[GASPS]
516
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,764
SO A HORSE
WALKS INTO A BAR
517
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,809
AND THE BARTENDER SAYS--
518
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,853
HA HA HA!
519
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:05,979
LILO'S RIGHT.
520
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,314
WHO AM I KIDDING?
I'M NOT FUNNY.
521
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,190
I'LL SAY!
522
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,942
YOU'RE SO NOT FUNNY
THAT--
523
00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,153
THE ONLY THING FUNNY
ABOUT ME IS MY LOOKS.
524
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:15,280
WHAT'S UP
WITH THIS HAIR?
525
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,781
[LAUGHTER]
526
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,700
OR SHOULD I SAY
LACK OF HAIR?
527
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,453
I MEAN, MY SCALP'S SO SHINY
THAT WHEN I GO TO THE BEACH,
528
00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:25,540
THE GLINT
MAKES THE SEAGULLS CRASH.
529
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,417
BUT WAIT,
THAT'S MY LINE.
530
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,210
AND HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
A BIGGER EYE?
531
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,379
WHY, THE OTHER DAY
I STARTED CRYING,
532
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:34,090
THERE WAS A FLASH FLOOD.
533
00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:43,892
OH, YEAH? WELL--
534
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:49,856
THAT LITTLE GIRL'S NOSE
LOOKS LIKE...
535
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:50,899
A POTATO?
536
00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:52,859
YOU ALREADY TRIED
THAT ONE.
537
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:53,735
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
538
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:55,403
YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT KIND OF DOES.
539
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,780
[LAUGHTER]
540
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:57,781
AND DOES THIS STUPID APRON
541
00:19:57,781 --> 00:20:01,201
MAKE ME LOOK
LIKE A PENGUIN OR WHAT?
542
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,869
MY EARS ARE SO BIG,
543
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,662
EVERY TIME I GO TO THE ZOO,
544
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,457
THE ELEPHANTS
FOLLOW ME HOME.
545
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,958
MY REAR'S SO BIG,
546
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,210
I ONCE HIP-CHECKED A GUY
547
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,921
ALL THE WAY TO OAHU.
548
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:14,923
BUT I--YOU--
549
00:20:14,923 --> 00:20:16,132
I GOT NOTHING.
550
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:20,929
[SOBBING]
551
00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:22,514
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!
TRY THE VEAL
552
00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:25,350
AND DON'T FORGET
TO TIP THE WAITRESSES.
553
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:29,688
[CHEERING]
554
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:31,898
PLEAKLEY,
YOU DID IT!
555
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:32,982
THAT WAS SO FUNNY.
556
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,443
YOU OUT HECKLED
HECKLER.
557
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:36,736
WE ALL DID.
558
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,655
I ALMOST FORGOT THE FIRST RULE
OF STAND-UP COMEDY:
559
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:40,865
STICKS AND STONES
MAY BREAK YOUR BONES,
560
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,367
BUT NAMES
WILL NEVER HURT YOU,
561
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,036
UNLESS THEY'RE CARVED IN STONE
AND THROWN AT YOU.
562
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:47,580
THAT'S
A PRETTY GOOD RULE
FOR LIFE, TOO.
563
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,709
IS THAT WHAT
YOU WERE TRYING
TO TELL ME, NANI?
564
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:52,419
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
565
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:53,795
BEING MEAN ISN'T FUNNY.
566
00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:55,755
IT JUST GETS PEOPLE
MAD AT YOU.
567
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,467
I GUESS HECKLER'S GOING
TO HAVE TO LEARN THAT.
568
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:02,053
[SOBBING]
569
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:04,639
I'M ALL ALONE
IN THE WORLD.
570
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,558
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
IN THE WORLD.
571
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:07,767
ALL WE HAVE TO DO NOW
572
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,812
IS FIND
THE ONE TRUE PLACE
WHERE YOU BELONG,
573
00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:14,024
SOMEWHERE WHERE PEOPLE
EXPECT TO GET HECKLED.
574
00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,066
HELLO!
575
00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:16,443
FINALLY, JUMBA
HAS ARRIVED
576
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:19,988
WITH HIS CONTRIBUTION
TO LARGER GIRL'S CHARITY.
577
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,489
OF COURSE,
578
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,489
I'VE FIGURED OUT A WAY
579
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,117
TO ADD A LITTLE EVIL
TO IT. HA HA!
580
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:28,163
WELL, THIS
WORKS OUT NICELY.
581
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:29,330
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
582
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,874
YOU CALL THAT A PITCH?
583
00:21:30,874 --> 00:21:32,959
YOU THROW
LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.
584
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,044
I AM A LITTLE GIRL,
585
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,254
AND I'M ONLY HERE
'CAUSE LILO CALLED ME
586
00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:40,884
AND TOLD ME HOW TO
GET BACK AT YOU, FREAK!
587
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:49,184
AT LEAST
I FINALLY GOT MYRTLE
588
00:21:49,184 --> 00:21:51,353
TO COME
TO THE CHARITY DINNER.
589
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:54,564
SORRY I MADE FUN
OF YOUR HIPPO HIPS.
590
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:55,607
NO PROBLEM.
591
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:59,778
I LOVE MY HIPS,
POTATO NOSE.
592
00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:01,821
[LAUGHING]
38746
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.