All language subtitles for The.Secret.Sex.Life.of.a.Single.Mom.2014.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

- [Are you going to be
a good sub and do as I say?]

- Yes.

- [Yes, what?]
- Yes, sir.

- [And why will you submit
to me in this way?]

- Because I am your sub, sir.

- [That's right. And why
are you my sub?]

- Because you are worthy
of being my dom.

- [Good girl.]

- The story I'm about
to tell you may shock you.

make you feel uncomfortable...
even scared.

But not for the reasons
you think.

- Mom!
- Hey, sweetheart.

- Chad's mom says not
to pick him up on Thursday.
He's not going to practice.

- Thank you. Now why don't you
go take your dirty uniform off
and put in the laundry?

This is my story. And it's real.

It's not a fantasy
or a nightmare,

although it has
elements of both.

It's a story of liberation
through sex,

power, domination,

submission... and love.

The story has its beginnings,
like many,

in what I now see was
a very unhealthy marriage.

- Woo-hoo!! Take that, jerk-off!

- Tyler! How many times
do I have to tell you

to turn that game off?

And don't talk like that.

[phone ringing]

Hello?
- [Hey. How's it going?]

- Oh, hey! Um, good. I guess
you got checked in okay?

- Obviously, or I wouldn't be
calling you right now. Listen,

I'm gonna stick around for
a couple extra days, do some
golfing with a few of the guys.

- Oh. Okay. well, as long

as you're gonna be back
by Halloween?

- Yes, Delaine, how many times
do you have to ask me?

I will be back to take the kids
trick-or-treating.

- Mommy, is that Daddy?

- Yes, it is, sweetheart.
Tyler, it's time for dinner.

Amanda wants to talk to you,
hold on one second.

- No, listen, Delaine, I gotta
go. I gotta meet some guys
down at the bar.

[I'll call you tomorrow, okay?]

- Okay.

- I wanted to say hi to Daddy!

- Oh, I know, I'm sorry,
sweetheart.

I promise we'll call him
tomorrow, okay?

Okay.

Now, napkins on our laps.

I didn't know it then, but this was the beginning of the end.

For years, I'd single-handedly
raised our two children

while my husband made a living. He was rarely around,

and when he was,
his attention was elsewhere.

So when he was home,
I tried to keep the peace

for the sake of our kids,
and when he was gone,

I just made excuses.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

- Woman: [Is Robert there?]

- No. He's away for work.
Who is this?

[She hangs up.]

[phone ringing]

- Chubbo's Bar & Grill.

- Hi. I just got a call
from this number.

It was a woman asking for
my husband, Robert Morris.

- Uh, that was Natasha.

- Just hang up on her.

Just hang up!
- No, please, don't hang up!

[dial tone]

[phone ringing]

- Hello?

- Your girlfriend just called.

- What girlfriend? What are you
talking about?
- Natasha.

- Okay, listen to me.

I'm coming home.
I'm coming home right now.

[dial tone]

- Robert insisted
he wasn't in love

with Natasha.
It was purely sexual.

He said the affair was my fault.

If I'd been more
interested in sex,

he wouldn't have gone looking
for it elsewhere.

So I tried.

Somehow, I managed
to twist the betrayal
I felt into anger at myself

for being an inferior wife,
and instead of demanding
that he leave,

I forgave him...

even though the act
of sex made me feel

even less connected to him.

- Jim said Robert invited him
to go to the car show
this weekend, so--

- Oh, gosh!
- What just happened?

- Every once in a while,
I get this searing pain

in my hip. It's...

I've been to three doctors
and none of them can tell me
what's wrong.

- That's because western
medicine sucks.
- Oh.

- You need to go see an
acupuncturist. When I had
that thing with my neck,

it's the only thing that worked.
The guy I saw was good.

I'll give you
his number. Graham

is the name.
- Okay.

- Here it is.

- An acupuncturist?

You know that stuff's just
a bunch of phony crap, right?

There's no scientific evidence

that sticking needles
into your skin relieves pain.

- I just haven't slept through
the night for weeks.
I wanna try it.

- Okay, fine.

Try it. But we're going
to cancel your gym membership.

So the choice is yours.
You can have

some tree-hugger stick you
with needles,

or you can have your spin class.

Up to you.

- Over the years, I had deferred so many decisions to my husband

that I wondered if I was
capable of even making
a right choice anymore.

I hadn't always been like that.

I could remember a time
when I was confident and happy

and could hold my own
in any situation.

- Acupuncture is the study
of the body as a whole.

Qi is the energy
that flows through us.

When it's
interrupted,

you have pain. But
that doesn't mean

that the block is in the hip.
It might be somewhere else
in the body.

You can sit up now.

So since your doctors have
ruled out organ malfunction

and you don't
have any injuries,

let's talk about
your emotional health.

Can you think of anything that
might be causing you stress?

- No, everything's good.

- Well, it may take
a few sessions,

but we'll figure it out.

- There was something
about Graham that
made me feel... centered.

His sessions helped me so much

that I started going
twice a week.

And about a month in,
I had what you might call...

a breakthrough.

- What did today's
session trigger?

- My husband had an affair.

You're the first person
I've told.

I can't really blame him,
though. I looked her up online,

she's gorgeous.
- Delaine,

his cheating had to do
with him, not you.

- I just want him to be
attracted to me.

He says he will

after I get breast implants.

- Whose idea was that?

- Mine. Sort of.

I just want him to be happy.

- Are you happy?

- I will be.

When I feel like
I'm enough for him.

- Delaine, uh...

For there to be real love
between two people,

there has to be a spiritual
relationship.

A physical relationship

without the spiritual
is like a body with no soul.

You have
a beautiful spirit.

See, women have a feminine
energy that we don't.

So the masculine energy

craves the feminine one
for completion.

That's why it's more about
a spiritual connection

than a physical one.

You exude
that feminine energy.

And that is why
you are so alluring.

- Graham's words made me feel
attractive again.

For years, I had just turned
my head and ignored it

when Robert would stare at a beautiful woman in a restaurant

or at the store.

But when I thought of Graham,

I thought of a man who couldn't keep his eyes off me.

For once, I was
the object of desire.

And on nights
when Robert was gone,

I began to imagine
what it would feel like

to make love to Graham.

I did feel guilty fantasizing
about someone who wasn't
my husband.

but those fantasies
awoke something in me

that had been gone a long time.

- You're making
progress.

- It doesn't hurt
like it used to.

- Well, normally
I'd tell you that you don't
need to come in as often.

But I'm not
going to say that.

♪

- I wanna make sure that
I'm not making a mistake.

- Who's saying
it's a mistake?

Your head or your heart?

- ♪ I want to break bread

♪ With you

♪ To dance amongst
the dead with you ♪

♪ To fall into the arms

♪ Of the sea and to breathe

♪ I want to break
each rule with you ♪

♪ I want to say I can be true

♪ To feel your body
breaking through ♪

♪ Is to breathe and
breathe and breathe ♪

- Even though I was riddled
with guilt afterward,

I did something I never
thought I would do.

I had sex with someone
besides Robert.

Go ahead. One, two.
There are people

who will tell you
that an affair can actually
make a marriage better.

[phone ringing]
Okay, go again.

Hey.

- Did you forget
to pack my gray slacks?
- [They were at the cleaners,]

so I packed your brown ones
instead and the shirt
that goes with 'em.

- Right, see,

this is why you need
to ask them specifically
for next-day service.

It's the whole reason we
switched dry cleaners, right?

- Yeah, I guess it was.

- Yeah. Okay, I gotta go.

- It doesn't make it better.
It just gives you

something to escape to.
Whose turn is it?
- Mine.

- Awesome, let's go.

The marriage is still broken.

A broken marriage for me,
at that time,

seemed a better alternative
than a broken home for them,

so I chose to stay

with Robert. By February,

Graham and I were embroiled

in a full-on affair.

For the first time in years,

I felt loved.

But, to protect my kids,
we never met

where a nosy neighbor or gossipy soccer mom might see us.

Our meetings were confined
to his clinic

or clandestine rendezvous
in hotel rooms.

I don't know how to explain it.

Robert always made me feel

like he could do... better.

And Graham makes me feel
like I'm the best there is.

- Okay.

What about the kids?

- That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

Part of me
thinks the kids

would be better off with
Robert not around so much.

Tyler's picking up
some of his bad habits.

- Okay, what does Graham
have to say about that?

- He says it's impossible

to have a healthy upbringing
in an unhealthy environment.

It's better to have two parents

that are happy and apart than
together and dysfunctional.

- Mm-hmm... I am so horny.

- I'll go shut the door.
- No, no, wait.

When I get back
from the trade show,

I think we should schedule
your gift to me.

I'm gonna be around
a lot more,

I can take care of the kids
while you recover.

And one of
the guys from work

told me his wife
had a great surgeon,

so he's gonna send me
the doctor's info.

What?

- I don't want breast implants.

I don't want to stay
in this marriage.

I want a divorce.

- You want a divorce from me?
- I've thought a lot about it.

- So that's it?

No discussion?
Nothing?

You don't want a boob job
and you're leaving now?

- Please. Keep your voice down.

This marriage hasn't worked
for a long time, Robert.

- What are you
talking about?

We've been happier now
than we have in years!

- I'm not happy.
- Oh, right, okay.

So, what's it going to take
to make Delaine happy?

- I don't know if you can.

I don't know if you care to.

- Do you have any idea

how selfish and
ungrateful you are?

Hmm?

Do you know how many women would
love to have what you have?

A husband who provides
for his wife and kids

so she can just sit
around the house all day?

- I don't sit around the house
all day, Robert.

- Come on!

You have no idea
how good you have it.

None.

- I don't know what else to say.

I just want this to end.

- No, you know what, actually,
I don't think you do.

I think this is just
some kind of ploy

so you can get
more attention.

Poor Delaine,
she's not fulfilled
in her marriage, right?

You know what? I don't have time
for this crap right now.

I worked today.

I busted my hump to provide
for you and the kids.

So you know what?

If you think I'm that bad,
just go sleep on the couch.

This is my bed.
I bought it.

Go have your little pity party
somewhere else.

Go.

- I hadn't planned on telling
Robert the way I did.

It just came out because
I couldn't keep it
inside any longer.

I felt such a mix of emotions.

Relief that the marriage
was finally over.

Happiness that I could
start over with Graham.

Fear of how vindictive
Robert would be

during the divorce.

And guilt.

Incredible guilt that I was
taking my children's family

away from them.

- Did Robert move out yet?

- He's going to this weekend.
- Did you tell him about Graham?
- No!

No, I'm afraid he'll hold it
against me with the kids,

you know, "Your mother's
leaving me for another guy."

- Do they know
you're separating yet?

- Robert thinks I should be
the one to tell them.

So he's getting his stuff out,
the kids and I are gonna
leave the house,

and then I will sit them down
and explain it to them.

I'm dreading it.

- There are a lot worse things
than having divorced parents.

- Not to a four-year-old.

Okay, so we're gonna have
a really important talk.

You know how... well, me
and Daddy haven't been...

very happy lately?

We've been sad.

Well, sometimes...

in order for mommies and daddies

to continue to be
really good parents,

we have to do things

that don't make sense.

- Are you getting a divorce??

- Yes, sweetheart.

We are.

We decided

that Mom and Dad are gonna live
in separate houses.

- Why?

- Because that way
we can all be really happy.

It'll be like your friend
Hannah. She lives

with her mom
and her dad...

I know it seems like
a really big change,

and it's hard
to understand right now,

but it really is the best thing

for all of us, I promise you.

- No! I don't want it!

I hate you!
- Tyler, please...

- It's okay, Mommy.
I'm not mad at you.

- I just love you both so much.

The spring had brought with it
a sense of revival for me.

Freedom.

And it came through Graham.

I was scared to be on my own,
but somehow I knew

I just had to keep
moving forward.

Even Tyler began to have
moments where he would

smile and laugh.

I finally felt like my life was moving in the right direction.

- Mom! Look! Hannah's here!

- Oh! You can go say hi if
you want, honey. Just hold on
to your sister's hand. Sara!

Hey!
- Hi!

- How are you?

- It's nice to see you.
- I see you completely
got suckered

into this place as well.
- Yeah, it's the only way

I can bribe Hannah
to go to the dentist.

- Oh...
- So, how are you?

I haven't had a chance to talk
to you since Robert moved out.

- That's right. I'm doing

really well, thank you.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- That look makes me think
you've met someone.

- I have.

He's wonderful.

- What's he like?

- He's... tall,

dark and handsome.

He's thin, super fit.

He's a big runner.

He's got these beautiful,
light, caring eyes.

He's into spirituality
and healing.

He's an acupuncturist.

I don't know how to explain it,
he's just very centered.

- Well, where's his practice?

- It's over on South Main,
on the west side.

- He doesn't drive a gold SUV?
- Yeah, he does!

- His name's not Graham, is it?

- Yeah! Yeah, it is.

This is too funny!
How do you know him?

- Wow...

- Sara?

- Uh... I don't even know
how to tell you this.

What a complete dick.

- Tell me what?

You're starting
to freak me out.

- Graham...

is in a relationship
with another woman too.

The woman he's with

is having a baby
in three weeks.

- No, that's not possible.
My Graham is divorced,

he already has three kids.
It's not the same.

- Delaine, it's the same one.

The woman that's
having his baby

is my friend. We used to go
running with him every weekend.

I'm so sorry.

- How could you do this to me?

After everything that I went
through with Robert?

All the love and the trust
that I showed you?

How long were you going
to put my life on hold?

- I don't know.
- Say something

besides 'I don't know'! Help me
make some sense out of this!

- I didn't tell you because
I didn't have the balls to.

Is that what you wanna hear?

I don't know,
I guess

I figured you'd
find out eventually,

and you did.

- That's what I'm gonna get?

After the crap about a spiritual
connection and how I should be
enough for someone?

Well, clearly I wasn't
enough for you!

- I wasn't lying when I said
you're a beautiful person--

- I left my husband
for you, Graham!

- That's not true. You left
your husband because he didn't
love and appreciate you.

- Well, neither did you.

This was my punishment,
I thought.

For having an affair
while I was still married.
For wanting more than I had.

My head was still so messed up
from Robert, and at the time,

part of me still felt like I didn't deserve anything better.

I know better now,

but back then, I was still
in the old habit of believing

everything was my fault.

- You're getting divorced,
Delaine.

You're not dead.
- She's right, you know.

After my divorce,
I tried online dating

and I loved it.

It's like choosing men or women
out of a catalog.
- Women?!

- Yeah. It was something
I always wanted to try.
- Good lord.

- I don't know anything
about this lesbian thing,

but I agree with
the online dating.

It just sounds weird to you

because it wasn't invented

when you and Robert
tied the knot.
[laughing]

- Who's gonna want to date a
36-year-old with two small kids?

I think these could be cute.

- Very cute. Put it on my list.
- Why would they care?

It's not like you're bringing
your kids on the date!

Just drink, dance,

and have sloppy sex.

- That's not the kind
of date I want!

I want a relationship.
A real one.

With a guy that's
kind of like Graham,

just faithful.

Pretty sure I deserve that.
- You definitely do.
- First off,

there are lots of great guys
out there who are not
gonna be intimidated

by your entourage
of little munchkins.

I just don't understand why
you have to find Mr. Right.

Start with Mr. Tonight.

- She doesn't want
a one-night stand. She wants
what's always been missing

from her life-- a guy who
will love and respect her.

- That's never gonna happen
sleeping with a guy three hours
after meeting.

- Okay, the 1950s called
and they want their
sexual politics back.

- Old-fashioned or not,
she's too good to be
somebody's booty call.

- You know, a guy that respects
women, and I mean truly
respects women,

is gonna get that we are in
control of our own sexuality.

Where were these when I had my
kid? There's no need to play
this game of how many dates

to go on before you fall
into bed, hoping he'll
call the next day.

- Sounds like you think
I should sleep around.
- Delaine,

I'm just saying that if you
wanna bunk up with this guy

on the first date, then do it.

If it's the tenth,
it's the tenth. Or never.

But it should be when you want.

Not when you think it's been
long enough to earn his respect.

- So I picked a free site

and I created a profile.

I didn't put much stock in it.
I ju wanted to see how many
of these guys

still found me appealing.

"You have 43 new responses"?!

- This guy messaged you?

[laughing]
- Yeah.

He's 23, fitness model
slash entrepreneur.

- Translation: no job, and he
spends a lot of time at the gym.

- He said he's attracted
to older women.

- Won't you feel
like a cougar

if you go out with him though?
- Oh yes. Is that a bad thing?

- Show me another one.

- Okay, this guy is Cal.

He is 45, software developer,

divorced with twin boys.

- He's not bad.
Do you like him?

- He's not as tall
as Graham.

- Don't compare
these guys to Graham!

I think you should
go out with him.
- Really?

- Mm-hmm. What have you
got to lose?

- For the first time
in 16 years,

I got ready for a date.

Oh my God, I forgot

how hard that is.

- [The mobile unit you are
trying to reach is unavailable.]

[Leave a voice message
at the tone.]

[beeping]
- Uh, hey Cal.

It's Delaine.
I'm here at the bar

and I just wanted to let you
know I'm wearing a blue shirt.

Just in case maybe you walked in

and didn't recognize me.

Okay, well, I'm looking forward
to meeting you in person.

Bye.

- You want me to open a tab?
- Yeah,

m sure we'll order food
when he gets here. Thanks.

- I'll bring the menu.
- Thanks.

- [So he stood you up.
Aren't you glad]

[you found out he's a jerk
now instead of later?]

- I didn't need this crap right
now, not after what Graham did.

- [I know, honey.]

Do you wanna come over?

I have vodka and really bad
store-bought cookies.

- No. Thanks, though.
- [Are you sure?]

We could go out.
You could get sloppy drunk

[and I'll be your
designated driver.]
- Woo-hoo.

No, I'm fine. I'll just go home
and take a hot bath.

- Okay. Call me tomorrow, okay?

- Yes, ma'am. You get back
to your downward dog.

- Alright, love. G'night.

- Good night.

And in a momentary lapse
of reason,

I made the granddaddy
of all mistakes.

Can you guess what I did?

Yeah. I went to Graham's house.

Graham?

Graham, please, open the door!

Graham, please, open the door!

I hate you.

Looking back, I can truly say

this was my low point.

Every woman

has moments of craziness,
I suppose. Thank God

no one was home that night
to witness mine.

I was logging on to the site

to write a scathing message
to Mr. Software Developer

when I got my first email
from... the Duke.

I was already over
the whole concept

of meeting someone online,

but for some reason, I decided
to open his message.

"I'm a dominant alpha male

"with two basic kinks.

"First, I'm very
attracted to strong,

"confident, dominant women--

"and I like them to be
sexually submissive to me.

"Second, I like helping
to create monsters--

"powerful, demanding women
who want to rule submissive

"or beta males for sport.

"So if you're a top-shelf
alpha female not afraid
of the work needed

"to be a woman like that,
and looking for a mentor

"to support you in pursuing
your alpha dreams, let me know.

If you're bi, that
would be very nice."

Is this guy for real?

Oddly enough, I couldn't get
the Duke and his words
w out of my head.e."

After picking up the kids
from Robert's the next day,
I went back

and reread his email
a few more times.

He wanted to chat.

The area code matched
his profile, which said
he lived in Seattle.

That was a long way away,
so even if he was some
sort of freak,

it's not like he could
come here and find me.

So I decided one phone call
couldn't hurt.

Guys, if you wanna go
to the pool, you better
go get dressed right now.

- Okay, Mom!

- [Hello.]
- Hi.

Is this, um... Duke?

- [The Duke.
This must be Delaine.]

- Yeah.

- [I take it you decided to call
because you're interested]

[in what I said in my email.]

- Interested is a strong word.

Curious is more like it.

I don't know that much

about the whole...

dom-sub thing.

- [Well, what would you
like to know?]
- Oh...

I don't know. Um...

You don't wear a vinyl mask

when you have sex, do you?

- No. You're confusing
domination

with sadomasochism.

I'm not into whips and chains
and ball gags.

I'm more into the mental
side of domination.

- Oh. That's good. I think.

- [There are physical elements
like teasing]

or spanking at times.

But before we even went
into the bedroom,

I might grab you by the hair,

look into your eyes and tell you

that you're going to do
everything I wanted.

[And you would.]

[Because you know I'm worthy.]

- Oh.

So this is more about men
controlling women?

- [Not at all.]

Being submissive
to an alpha male

does not make you
a weakling or a doormat.

[Quite the opposite, actually.]

[Alpha females are capable,]

confident,

and strong-minded.

They want an alpha man

[to take control
and challenge them]

because they don't get to
experience that type of pleasure

in a vanilla relationship.

- I thought about
what the Duke said.

Had I been in a vanilla
relationship my entire life?

Was it time to try
something new?

- So this Duke guy,
he's going to teach you

to be more assertive

by making you submissive?

- Yes.
- How does that make sense?

- Basically, by turning over
control of my sexuality to him,

he's going to show me
how to control it.
How to be more empowered.

- Not following.

- Okay. It's sort of...

It's like this.

Women who are empowered

are in control of their
sexuality as much as men are.

She chooses who she's gonna
sleep with, she dictates how
men are gonna treat her,

and she doesn't allow them
to treat her like crap.

- With you so far.

- Well, I've never
been that way.

I've allowed men to
treat me like a doormat.

I've never been in control.
They've always disrespected me.

But with the Duke,

it's different. It's my choice
to engage in this with him.

I have to give consent
to be submissive.

If I choose to submit,
it's up to me.

And I can choose not to submit,
that's up to me as well.

- How do you know he's not
just some creep who gets off

on telling women what to do?
- Because the stuff he's
telling me to do

is not really for him.

It's more for me.
- Example?

- He wants me to go out
with a younger guy.
- How young

is this guy supposed to be?

I mean, like that gym rat
you met online?

- That's exactly who
I was thinking of.

Payton. He's still
messaging me.

- And do what?
I mean, do you date him?
Do you sleep with him? What?

- Yeah, all of it, I guess. He
just wants me to take control.

- How?
- I don't know,

Hali!

This is what the Duke
is going to teach me!

- Are you doing what I told you
to do? Are you looking
at yourself?

- Yes.
- [Yes, what?]

- Yes, sir.

- Describe it to me.

- Well, it's two pieces.

It's black and sheer

with white lace
around the edges.

[It has a garter, black.]

[And there's stockings.]

- I'm not ordering it out
of a catalog, Delaine.

[Describe it to me in a way
that makes me want to
tear it off you.]

[Now, Delaine.]
- I don't know what to say.

- [That is not
an acceptable answer.]

I don't want a sub
that can't turn me on.

Come on, describe it.

- Um...

Well...

the top...

the top is sexy.

It's black and sheer and
you can almost see through it,

but not quite.

It's feminine...

and a little bit naughty.

- [Good. Good. What else?]

- The bottoms match.

They come up just far enough
to hug my hips.

And the white lace
caresses my thighs.

The garter has this...

black bow

on each side.

It holds up my stockings.

Those are soft

and sheer.

And they're tight against
the curves of my legs.

- That's very good, Delaine.

Now go to your bedroom window

[and open the curtains.]

And I'll know
if you don't do it.

[Good girl.]

[Now stand in front of
the window and get undressed.]

[Do as I say.]

[Remove your top
in front of the window.]

- I have neighbors.
- [So?]

- So...

I don't want them to think
that... that I'm...

- [What? Too lazy to close
the blinds?]
- No, slutty.

- What does that mean
to you? That word?

- [It means a woman who has sex]

[with pretty much
anyone she wants.]

- And what's wrong with that?

Women aren't supposed
to want multiple partners?

[Society says women
should be chaste and pure]

[to be worthy of love.]

[Women that love sex,
that are in full control]

[of their sexuality
are called sluts,]

[skanks, whores.]

But I don't buy that,

and I'm not gonna let you
buy into it either.

[A woman's sexuality is her own]

[and there is no shame]

[in loving sex.]

Now, I want you to say:

'Not all men are worthy
of receiving me.

Those that are must prove it.'

- Not all men are worthy
of receiving me.

Those that are

must prove it.

- [Excellent.]

Now do as you're told.

Stand in front of the window
and get undressed.

AH!!!
[screaming and laughing]

[doorbell]
- It's probably Hali.

- You think? Okay,

final word of caution, campers:

watch out for--
- Bears.

[growling and laughing]

- I want you guys to be very,
very good for Hali, okay?

You need to go to bed exactly
when she says to. Promise?
- We will.

- Okay.
- Mom?
- Yeah?

- You're the coolest mom ever.
- Well, you're the coolest kids
ever! Who loves you?

- [both]: You.
- So much!!!

So much!!
[screaming]

Okay, good night.
I'll see you in the morning.

Hi! Oh my God, this is perfect!

- Have fun on your date.
- Thank you so much!

[sighing]

[growling]
- [kids]: The bear! The bear!

[chuckling]

- The Duke decided
I needed what he called

'Sexuality Boot Camp.'

If I wanted to find
my alpha femaleness,

I needed to get out there
and learn how to keep
my men in line.

And what better guinea pig than Mr. Testosterone himself...

Payton.

- Uh... Delaine?

- So what's the oldest woman
you've ever been with?

- Actually, it was
my last girlfriend.

We were together for about
six months and she was 43.

- So what makes us
so special?

- I don't know,
a lot of things.

Like, uh...

you're not gonna call drunk,
stranded at some bar,
looking for a ride.

And, uh...

you don't try to play dumb
to get attention.

Okay, at least
most of you don't.
- How's the sex?

- They enjoy it a lot more,

which makes it more
enjoyable for the guy.

I find that older women
tend to be

more in touch

with their bodies.

- I don't disagree.

You just better not try to kiss
me tonight without asking
my permission.

I might have to slap you.

- You can slap me all you want,

because I like when
it gets a little rough.

- You have no idea
what rough is, little boy.

[chuckling]

I had no clue what
I even meant by that.

But apparently it did the trick.

The Duke wanted Payton
to be my 'service male.'

A plaything I was to use for sex

and nothing else.
But he was charming and funny.

I found I was enjoying myself

more than I anticipated.
That is, until...

an unpleasant surprise
walked in.

- Delaine?

- Robert.

What would the Duke
say about this?

I'm guessing he'd tell me
to swallow first--come on,

you know what I mean-- and then just keep my mouth shut.
- I'm Robert. And you are?

- Payton. Nice to meet you, man.

- Yeah, you too, kiddo.

- Can I help you with something?

We're just having dinner.

- I'll call you later.

Apparently we have
a lot to discuss.

- So who was that guy?
He's kind of a dick.

- Just my husband.

- Husband. I thought
you were divorced.

- Yeah, well, we're still
ironing out the paperwork.

- I don't want you parading
your boy toys in front
of my children.

Is that the example
you want to set for them?

- I'm not 'parading' anyone.
Payton will never meet the kids.

- What then? You're just
sleeping with him?

- I'm not gonna
answer that, Robert.

- So I leave and you turn
into some sort of nasty slut?

- No. And I left you.

And who I choose to sleep with
has no bearing whatsoever

on my ability to be
a good mother.

- Don't think this won't come
out in the custody hearing.

- Do you want
full custody of the kids?

Do you? Do you really
want to spend all weekend

shuffling them
between ballet lessons

and soccer games,
cooking dinner for them
every night, and getting up

an hour early every morning
to make sure they're ready
to go to school?

Look, I know you're upset
with me, and I know you don't
really want to see me happy

with someone else, but
we have got to do what's best

for our kids.

- I'm proud of you for asserting
your dominant side.

- [None of it was good.]

I felt like I was being
a total bitch to Payton and...

once Robert came out,
I was consumed with guilt.

I just figured he thought
I should be home with the kids

instead of leaving them
with a babysitter.

- If you two were still together
and you had to go

to some business dinner for
Robert, you'd get a babysitter,
wouldn't you?

- Well, yes, of course.

But that's not the same.

- [You're not very good
at feeling your power yet.]

Being powerful and in control

does not make you a bitch.

[And getting a babysitter so
that you can go out on a date]

[and fulfill your sexual
and emotional needs]

does not make you irresponsible.

- I know, it's...
- [Stop whining.]

Get down on your knees
and bow your head.

Then beg for my forgiveness.

- Okay...

Sir, will you please forgive me?

- [For what?]

For what, Delaine?

- For giving control
of my emotions to Robert

when you are the only dom
I have chosen to submit to.

- [Very good.]

Now assure me that
it won't happen again.

- It won't happen again, sir.

- [Excellent.
For your next task,]

I want you to find a sex club
and I want you to go to it.

[See for yourself
what it looks like]

[when women are comfortable
with their power.]

[I'll expect a phone call
when you get home.]

Good night, Delaine.

- Wait! Can I just
ask you one question?

- [Yes.]

- What is your name?

Your real name.

- [Shane.]
- Shane.

[Shane, can I ask you
one more thing?]
- No.

- I couldn't disobey Shane,

and I couldn't go
to a sex club alone.

I invited Payton.

And for those of you
who have never been to one,
let me just say...

it's probably the craziest
thing I've ever seen.

[electronica music]

- Is this your first time here?
- Yeah.

- I'll show you around.

our DJ plays all night...

Everything here
is consensual, of course.

We have condoms free and
available throughout the club.

And you can have sex
anywhere you want to.

If you have
any questions,

just ask me.
- Thank you.

[giggling]

- ♪ I was just a girl
when you came into my world ♪

♪ But I feel more
like a woman now ♪

♪ You've grown up too

♪ That's why I'm telling you

♪ When it comes to loving me
Only you know how ♪

♪ Ooh baby I like it like that

♪ The world is where it's at
Ooh baby I like it like that ♪

♪ You're turning me on
and I can't hold back ♪

♪ I love the way you hold me
I like the way you kiss ♪

♪ A girl like me
can get into this ♪

♪ I love you
in the morning... ♪

- Although I'd been having
more fun with Payton
than I'd had in years,

I found that on most nights,
my thoughts drifted

to someone else.

Shane.

Why can't I just see a picture?

Just one picture of your face?

- Why do you need to see
a picture of me?

To know if you're attracted?

[You already are.]

- Maybe.

[soft music]

- And I'm gonna have the
sirloin, please. Medium.

Thanks.

- What are you smiling about?

- I got you a little something.
- Hmm!

Oh!

What's this for?
- You don't know?

Come on.

Really?
- No!

- Today is the three-month
anniversary of our
very first date.

- It's been three months?

- Mm-hmm.
- Really?

Wow. Is that gift-worthy?

- Doesn't matter.
I think you've earned it.

- Payton...

My goodness,
these are gorgeous.

- They remind me of you.

Dainty, beautiful,

yet strong enough
to slice through glass.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

So, you know what I was
thinking?
- What?

- We should all go up
to the lake this weekend.

- Oh, I can't.

I have the kids this weekend.
Robert's out of town
on business.

- I know. When I said 'all',
I meant the kids.

- Oh. Um...

I thought you just
meant your friends.

- No, you know, I was thinking
I would throw the Frisbee
with Tyler,

and...

okay, I honestly
have no idea

what I'd do with
your youngest.

I'm sure I can think of
something fun, right?

You don't want me to meet
your kids, do you?

- It has nothing
to do with you.

Honestly, I think you would
make an incredible role model
and my kids would love you.

- Is it Robert?

Because if he has any issues
with me, I'm sure him and I
could talk it out--

- No, it's not that either.

I just don't know exactly

where this is going.

Yet.

Or at all.

- I don't understand.

Look, I thought things
were going well with us.

- They are.
- So what's the problem?

- Payton...

You're 24.

- Yeah. I've been 24
since you met me.

- Right, I know.

Can we just put this
conversation on hold?

My divorce isn't even
finalized until next week.

- Yeah, sure.

What's the rush, right?

- Yeah.

Thank you.
- Thank you.

- I knew I'd hurt Payton.

He saw a future with me
and I'd known from the start

that there wouldn't
be one with him.

This was the first time
it hit me that this newly
empowered Delaine

also needed to take
some responsibility.

When I got home, I logged on
to see if there was an email

from the Duke. There was,

and it included something
I wasn't expecting.

That's so cute.

- So, has he
run out of cigars yet?
- I think he's finally done.

- Oh, thank God.
I don't understand people
celebrating the birth of a baby

by giving other people cancer.
- Oh, stop. Eric's a really
good guy.

- I know. I'm so lucky.

- Yes,
you really are.

- So what's next? Are you going
back on the dating site?

- No. Hm-hm.

I think I might
go to Seattle.

- Seattle?

Why would you want to go to--?

Oh my God.

The Duke!
Tell me that's not

why you're going.
- Why not?
- Because he's a dom!

- It's not as creepy
as you're making it sound.

- Okay, then why?

Would you actually consider
being in a long-distance
relationship?

- Maybe.

It's just...
I got him in my head

and I can't get him out.

So I've gotta go
figure this thing out

before I can move on
with anybody else.

- Listen to you!
You've come a long way.

- What does that mean?

- A lot more decisive
than the Delaine

who took her husband back
after he cheated.

- Yeah, well...

I let Robert get away
with way too much.

You know, I wonder if I had
stood up for myself more,

if he would've respected me...

our marriage could've
ended up differently.

- Yeah. You would've divorced
him in the first year.

- I don't know.
- Come on, D.

Robert didn't respect you

because Robert isn't
a respectful person.

Even Eric said that
when they first met.

- That information would've been
helpful years ago.

- You wouldn't have listened.

So when are you going
to Seattle?

- Next month.

Robert's gonna take the kids
to his parents' house
for Thanksgiving.

I've got a little time.

[laughing]
I know.

The awakening of my sexual self

had stirred other things
awake too.

I loved my children
more than life itself,

and I loved being a mother,
but it was beginning to feel

like it wasn't enough anymore.

I watched as women,
single moms like me,

dropped their children off
and then headed to their
jobs as bankers,

doctors and CEOs.

- Can I go play for a bit?

- Just a second, honey, yeah.

Hello, Graham.

- Hi. How are you?

- I'm well. How are you?

- Not so good, actually.

Yeah, I went from having
a three-week wait list

to just a few
appointments a day.

They opened this new,

state-of-the-art holistic
health center a few blocks
from the office, so...

that has a lot to do with it.
- Hmm.

How's your daughter?
You had a baby girl, right?

- Yeah, she's...
Do you want to sit down?

- No, no, it's okay.

- She's... she's great.

She's getting bigger.

I see her about once a week.

- It's a shame, you know,
they grow up so fast.

- You look really good.

- Thanks.

Amanda, sweetheart,
it's time to go!

Good girl.

- Great seeing ya.

- Was there satisfaction

in knowing that Graham's
doing poorly?

- [You'd think so,
but honestly,]

no. Not after the initial
shock of seeing him.

- I think that's
progress for you.

- You still want me
to come for Thanksgiving?

- Of course. Why would I
change my mind?

- 'Cause I was thinking,
if I still come,

I could... ask
some business advice.

[Since you've bought and sold]

[and developed
so many companies.]

- Are you buying
a business, Delaine?

- No, but I'm thinking
of creating a company.

Online mostly.

- What kind?

- [Before I quit work
to have kids,]

I was an interior decorator.

So I was thinking
of creating a business

where rich people hire me
to come into their home

[and decorate for a holiday]

or a party or whatever,
and then once the event's over,

I would go back in
and take it all away.

Does it sound
like a stupid idea?

- No, not at all.

I think you can do anything
you set your mind to.

There's a niche for that.

- Because I think I'd be
really good at it.

- [So do I.]

- Who do you know in Seattle?
You don't have friends there.
- [He's a new friend.]

And the only reason I'm even
telling you this is to let you
know I'll be out of town

in case there's an emergency
with the kids.

- Fine. Do your thing.
Whatever that is.

- I will.

- [Ladies and gentlemen, we will
be landing in Seattle shortly.]

[Thanks for flying with us
and have a great day.]

- Shane had planned on picking me up from the airport himself,

but he ended up having
to take a meeting.

He texted me about an hour
before I got on the flight

and told me he'd send a car
to pick me up and take me
to his lake house.

He gave me the code to get in,

but no apology that
he wasn't picking me up

in person.

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?
- [Delaine. Did you
make it in okay?]

- Yeah. I just got here.

This place is beautiful.
- [Change of plans.]

I was going to take you on
a cruise tonight on my boat,

but my chef can't make it.
We're going out

[to dinner instead. I had
my assistant buy you a dress]

[in case you didn't bring one.]

- Oh. Okay.

- I'm on my way
to my meeting now.

Help yourself to anything
in the fridge and I'll see you
in a couple hours.

[door opening]

- Hi.

- Hi.

I'm glad you're here.

- Me too.

- Come on. Follow me.

This is where you'll stay.

You may come up
to the main house when
I instruct you to do so.

Try this on.

Where are you going?

- I thought you said you wanted
me to try this on.

- Try it on right here.

In front of me.

Don't look at yourself.
Look at me.

It doesn't matter what
you think you look like.
It only matters what I think.

Now take off
your panties.

You will not wear panties

in my presence.

You'll get these back
when you leave.

Do you understand?

- Yes, sir.

Shane didn't ask -or tell- me
to do anything sexual
at the restaurant.

It was a normal dinner,
much like a first date.

We talked about a million
different subjects,

including domination
and submission.

So in a dom-sub relationship,

do people ever take turns?
Like, one night they would be

the dominant figure,
and the next night,
they would be the sub?

- Of course. A person that does
that is called a 'switch.'

- Do you ever do that?
- No.

I explained that in my profile.
I'm always dominant,

and I like subs
who are alpha females.

Some of mine were very
successful and wealthy,

heads of major corporations,
that type of thing.

- Why would a woman like that
ever want to be submissive?

- Why does anyone
want to be submissive?

Lots of reasons.
- Like what?

- It makes them
feel empowered

to trust another person
to that degree.

For people in positions
with an inordinate amount

of power and control,
feeling quite helpless
and at someone else's whim

can be a nice escape

from having to make
all the decisions.

- What about someone
that's always...

dominant?

Does that mean that
they're not in control
in their regular lives?

- Some might feel that way.
- You?

- No.

- So what is it that
you get out of this?

- Some of my reasons
are selfish.

I like to know exactly when
I'm gonna be having sex.

And the type of sex
that I can expect,

since all of that
is discussed

before she becomes my sub.

I got tired of having my hand
slapped away by women

who were reluctant
to try new things.

- Okay.

[chuckling]
- But it's also something

that I can do
for women, as a feminist.

- How can you consider
yourself a feminist

yet want women to be
submissive to you?

- Women have the choice
to be whatever they want.

Unfortunately, our society
judges submissive women.

They say 'Poor thing,

look at what our patriarchal
society has done to her,'

or they get criticism
from "feminists" who
see them as impeding

on their fight for equality.
They're both wrong.

A true feminist believes
that a woman has a choice

to be whatever she wants
without being judged.

It doesn't matter
if she chooses to be a sub,

or a dom, or a switch,

or if she wants to be in
a vanilla relationship her
entire life. It's her choice.

For those who want a dom,

I offer that.

And I never judge them.

- I'm better at that, you know.

- You're getting better, yes.

What about Robert?

When Robert tried
to make you feel guilty
when you came out here,

did it work?
- How do you know he tried?

- Making you feel guilty
and have you second-guess
your decisions

is one of the ways that
a beta man controls a woman.

When you're confident in your
own decisions, nothing he can
say will make you feel guilty.

- I didn't actually feel bad.

I'm not letting anyone
control me anymore.

- There's nothing wrong
with being controlled

as long as it's consensual.

Robert controls you
for his own benefit.

I control you
because you like it.

- What would you like me
to do for you, sir?

- I'd like you to go sit
in that chair, be quiet,

and I will let you know
when I want you.

Delaine.

Thank me for making you wait.

- Thank you for
making me wait, sir.

At first I was angry with
the Duke for rebuffing me.

I felt sort of rejected.

But by the time
an hour had passed,

I was so worked up,
I could barely stand it.

I wanted him more

than I have ever
wanted anyone before.

- From this point forward,
until you leave,

you will ask permission

for everything that you do.

Before you eat,
before you sleep,

before you get
dressed.

You are my sub,

and as such, you will only do
what I allow you to do.

Do you understand?

- Yes, sir.

- To ask my permission,
you will

bow your head

and say, "With the
Duke's permission."

Any questions?

- Yes.

What happens if I disobey you?

- Then I will take you
over my knee,

and spank you.

And then...

...with you

wearing this,

I will take

my disobedient pet for a walk

through the neighborhood
so that everyone

can see that you...

were a bad sub.

Are you going to disobey me,
Delaine?

- No, sir.

- Good.

You may ask for permission
to go into the master bedroom.

- With the Duke's permission,

may I go into the master
bedroom, sir?

[sighing]

- You may.

- The entire trip
wasn't just about sex.

Shane?

Do you have a turkey baster?
- Yes.

- Where is it?

- Probably
in the bedroom.

- Well, okay, a lot of it was.

Ugh...

But some of it was also just us talking about relationships

and life and my future.

- You also need to file
a Federal Tax ID number.

- So how do I know
if I should be

a sole proprietorship
or an LLC?

- Okay, so there are two
important factors in making
that decision: first,

how is the business taxed,
and what is your level
of personal liability.

- But to be honest,

it was mostly about sex.

My long weekend with the Duke
was, on the surface,

about sexual exploration.

But like the water, there was
so much more underneath.

True submission

is a gift.

It can only happen when
a person chooses to submit.

It's never about the dom
taking control.

It's about the sub giving it.

Both parties must get
something out of it.

For 37 years,
I'd let other people,

especially men, control me

for their own benefit.

The Duke taught me how to change that. That's why I will always
be grateful to him.

- You ready?

- How deep is it out there?
- About 40 feet.

- So I was thinking,

when I get home,
I'm ready for a relationship.

On my own.

- Just the fact that
you said that shows me

that there's no reason for us
to continue to correspond.

You had the experience
you needed.

That's all it was
ever meant to be.

- You've changed me.

I'm a different person
than I was before we met.

- I know.

We should get going.

You don't wanna
miss your flight.

- As I drove home
from the airport,

I felt at peace for the first
time in a long time.

More than anything,
I was just looking forward
to seeing my kids.

As December rolled around,

I managed to get my website up
for my holiday decorating
business.

To my surprise,
I got several clients

in the first few weeks.

One stuck out in particular.

He was a widower
in his late 60s.

He hadn't decorated for
Christmas since his wife had
passed five years earlier,

but since his grandchildren
were coming, he wanted
to make it festive for them.

The man told me he'd
never taken much time

with his grandkids and
he wanted to change that.

And so I decided to do something I never imagined I would do.

I called Robert.

- [Hello?]

- Hey, it's me.

The kids are gonna
decorate the tree and...

I thought you might
like to help.

- It's not like I never
thought about it.

I know there were times

that I didn't...

I didn't treat you the way
that I should have.

- I don't know what I really
could have done differently.

Except for the affair,
of course.

- I guess I deserved that,
right?

One good turn deserves another?

- I don't think we knew how
to deal with our issues.

We both made some
really bad decisions.

- Yeah.

I know that the thing
with Natasha

really hurt you.

But I just...

I want you to know
that when I said

it would never happen
again, I meant it.

The night you called me
and I came home...

...the whole drive home
I couldn't stop thinking

about how much
that must've hurt you.

- It did.

- By the time that I really
started to try,

it was too late for you.

You didn't need the guy
who wanted to make it up to you.

You needed the guy who never
did it in the first place.

- I do think our marriage
stopped working way before
Natasha and Graham, though.

I want you to be happy.

- I know.

Thank you.

I'm trying.

- Good.

How did things go
with your parents?

- Well, I'm still not that good
with the kids yet.

My mother even noticed that.

[laughing]

Things'll be going great and...

then I'll say something
that upsets one--

- As I listened to Robert
talk about how hard it was

to be a parent,
I didn't feel sorry for him.

This was part of his journey
to become a better father.

I'd inhibited his growth in the same way he had inhibited mine

in becoming a woman who could
stand up for herself.

But I wanted to guide him.

Shane had been my guide.

He helped me reach a place where I could actually help Robert

become the man I always
wanted him to be.

Not for me.
But for the children.

It was the first time
I felt happy being alone--

ever. Maybe I wouldn't
find someone.

Who knows? But that
no longer seemed scary.

I knew I could be happy with or without a relationship.

I didn't need to be someone's
wife or girlfriend.

I could just be...

Delaine.

And things got better.

Robert and I were able
to put the past behind us

and become effective co-parents.

What's this?
- It's for you, Mom. From Dad.

- Wow!

- I helped picked it out.

- It's for your new business.

- It was my idea.
- No, it wasn't, Amanda!
- Yes, it was!

- I can tell you both
collaborated on this.

And it's wonderful.
Are you my new

marketing executive?
- Yes.
- How about you, kiddo?

It was nice to feel supported
in my business endeavor.

But surprisingly,
I didn't need it.

I knew I could make it a success even with no support at all.

As my little business continued to pick up, I settled back

into my role as Delaine the mom. Between the two, I didn't have
much time to date.

But I didn't feel like
I was missing out either.

- Let me give you a hand
with that.
- Oh!

Thanks.
- Sure. How many do you need?

- All of them.
- All of them?

What, one for every outfit?

- No, it's my daughter's
birthday.

I told her she could
invite all the girls

from her class
at school.

I don't know exactly
what I was thinking.

It's that age-old question:
where are...

- The keys.
- Where are the keys.

- Right at the bottom.
- Always. I can never
find my keys.

- I would love to know
how the party goes.

- Oh, really?
- Hey, I'm invested now.

Without me, they'd
just be a bunch

of sad, tiara-less princesses.
[She laughs.]

I'm Aiden, by the way.

Uh, my cell's on there.
- Delaine.

- Hi, Delaine.

- Thanks for your help.

And for being so... tall.

- Sure. I guess I will

talk to you later.

♪

- ♪ Let it go

♪ Don't hide away

♪ Follow the muse...

- I invited Robert to bring his new girlfriend to Amanda's
birthday party.

He'd asked my advice on how
he could introduce them,

and I figured the party
atmosphere would make everyone
feel more at ease.

So, I don't know if you heard,
but you have to have

one of these before you can
pass the evil dragon.

- Thank you.
[kids laughing]

- You have to kiss it

or you're not a real princess.

Ha, ha, ha!

- Speaking of evil dragons.
- My brother used to do

the same thing to me.
[laughing]

- Can you believe how young
they start flirting?

Look at you!
There's my girl.

- Mommy, I'm tired.

- Oh, are you?

You ready to go with Daddy
and Pam to Daddy's house?

Hey, did you have
a good birthday?

- That was the best
birthday ever!
- It was?

Well, that makes
Mommy happy!

Why don't you take Pam

and go find Tyler?

- Thank you.

- Thank you. It was
nice to see you.

- Nice to meet you.

- We can take care
of all this junk later.

Why don't you just take
the kids and get going?
- Okay.

Thank you.

For making this easier
for Pam. And for me.

- Yeah, of course.

I knew in that moment,

I'd finally become
the person I wanted to be.

I had taken control
of my life in every aspect.

The truth is, I liked Pam

and I actually wanted
Robert to be happy.

I was glad he found someone.

And I'm glad that he's
with Pam instead of me.

[phone ringing]

Hey, Aiden.
- [Hi.]

- Perfect timing.
Everyone just left.
- [So how did the party go?]

- Oh, it was absolutely perfect.

- [And did you have any princess
gear left over?]
[laughing]

- No, I don't have
any tiaras left.

It might seem like this is the
end of my story, but it's not.

It's just the beginning.

- ♪ Follow the muse