Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,527 --> 00:00:03,360
All right,
Professor Proton fans,
2
00:00:03,429 --> 00:00:05,629
get ready to meet
Dr. Sheldon Cooper
3
00:00:05,698 --> 00:00:09,166
and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler,
a pair of real-life scientists
4
00:00:09,235 --> 00:00:11,702
who may win the Nobel Prize.
5
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:13,737
That's like
the Kids' Choice Award,
6
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:18,141
but with more science
and less slime.
7
00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:19,676
Hi, thanks for having us.
8
00:00:19,745 --> 00:00:20,978
Kids' Choice Award?
9
00:00:21,046 --> 00:00:22,746
Why would they let kids
choose anything?
10
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:25,682
They're basically
human larvae.
11
00:00:25,751 --> 00:00:28,318
Well, they are kind of
our target audience.
12
00:00:31,957 --> 00:00:33,924
Greetings, children.
13
00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:36,493
Toys, am I right?
14
00:00:36,562 --> 00:00:39,663
He is. He has hundreds of them.
15
00:00:39,732 --> 00:00:41,265
So you two have
discovered something
16
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,600
that a lot of people
are really excited about.
17
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,102
We have.
18
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,737
Now, before
you explain it,
19
00:00:46,805 --> 00:00:50,407
keep in mind that our
average viewer is this many.
20
00:00:50,476 --> 00:00:54,278
Okay, imagine you're
looking in a mirror.
21
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,847
The image you see
looks just like you.
22
00:00:56,915 --> 00:00:58,882
That's called symmetrical.
23
00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:01,351
Now imagine you have
a billion mirrors,
24
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:04,288
and each of them reflects
one thing about you correctly
25
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,890
and a billion things
about you incorrectly.
26
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,226
And imagine the set
of incorrect things
27
00:01:09,295 --> 00:01:12,729
are floating in an abstract
n-dimensional hyperspace.
28
00:01:12,798 --> 00:01:16,733
Now imagine there was never
a mirror to begin with.
29
00:01:18,337 --> 00:01:19,569
Oh, was that
a doorbell?
30
00:01:19,638 --> 00:01:20,937
I didn't
hear anything.
31
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,210
Huh, there it is again.
32
00:01:27,279 --> 00:01:28,578
Sheldon, why don't
you answer it?
33
00:01:28,647 --> 00:01:30,881
But I don't know who it is.
34
00:01:30,949 --> 00:01:34,818
Maybe it's a special guest who
I invited just to surprise you.
35
00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:36,920
Why don't you open it up
and find out.
36
00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:39,089
This is a terrible message
to send to children.
37
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:40,490
Children, you never
open the door
38
00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,392
if you don't know
who's on the other side.
39
00:01:42,461 --> 00:01:44,494
You always make your
mommy or daddy do it
40
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,763
while you hide under the bed
and try to imagine
41
00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:49,900
what your superhero name will be
when you avenge their deaths.
42
00:01:49,968 --> 00:01:52,669
I'll get it.
43
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,905
But it can't be The Silver
Shadow-- that's mine.
44
00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:59,009
Hello.
45
00:02:01,213 --> 00:02:04,181
Captain on the bridge!
Captain on the bridge!
46
00:02:05,484 --> 00:02:06,950
You're William Shatner.
47
00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:08,285
You can call me Bill.
48
00:02:08,354 --> 00:02:09,686
Ooh, can I call you Captain?
No.
49
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,655
Please?
No.
50
00:02:11,724 --> 00:02:13,757
Please?
51
00:02:13,826 --> 00:02:15,125
Sure.
52
00:02:16,662 --> 00:02:19,029
And w-will you call me
Science Officer Cooper?
53
00:02:19,098 --> 00:02:20,864
This has got to stop.
54
00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:23,700
I think you know
how to make it stop.
55
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,303
Put her there,
Science Officer Cooper.
56
00:02:28,674 --> 00:02:31,608
Put her there,
Science Officer Cooper.
57
00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:37,547
Oh, poor Shatner.
58
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,983
Poor Shatner?
I have to eat lunch now.
59
00:02:40,052 --> 00:02:43,153
Look, Sheldon's
pretty embarrassed,
60
00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:44,788
so when he gets here,
we should...
61
00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:47,190
Make fun of him?
A lot.
62
00:02:47,259 --> 00:02:48,992
Guys, don't you think
that's a little mean?
63
00:02:49,061 --> 00:02:49,708
Yeah.
64
00:02:49,732 --> 00:02:51,295
Okay, just so we're
all on the same page.
65
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,396
Yeah.
66
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,797
- Hello.
- Hey.
67
00:02:53,866 --> 00:02:55,532
So, Sheldon,
did you get
68
00:02:55,601 --> 00:02:57,946
William Shatner's autograph,
or maybe his dry cleaning bill?
69
00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:01,304
Very funny, get it all out.
70
00:03:01,373 --> 00:03:02,873
Like you did on William Shatner?
71
00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:07,010
Raj, do you have
something to add?
72
00:03:07,079 --> 00:03:10,080
You brought shame upon
yourself and your family.
73
00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:13,150
It's not funny,
but it's true.
74
00:03:13,218 --> 00:03:16,019
I will admit the meeting
did not go the way I wanted.
75
00:03:16,088 --> 00:03:19,189
Because you barfed where no man
has barfed before?
76
00:03:20,559 --> 00:03:23,860
Well, the next time I meet him,
it will go better.
77
00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:26,696
Next time? What makes you think
there's gonna be a next time?
78
00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:29,833
Wil will give me another chance.
He thinks the world of me.
79
00:03:29,902 --> 00:03:32,035
Aw. One of the reasons
I love you
80
00:03:32,104 --> 00:03:34,738
is you actually believe that.
81
00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:36,247
Thank you.
82
00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:39,248
♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x16 ♪
The D & D Vortex
Original Air Date on February 21, 2019
83
00:03:39,249 --> 00:03:42,579
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
84
00:03:42,648 --> 00:03:45,882
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
85
00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:47,451
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
86
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:50,253
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
87
00:03:50,322 --> 00:03:52,756
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
88
00:03:52,825 --> 00:03:55,459
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
89
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,360
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
90
00:03:57,429 --> 00:03:58,962
♪ Bang! ♪
91
00:03:58,986 --> 00:04:00,986
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
92
00:04:06,666 --> 00:04:09,867
Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton.
93
00:04:09,936 --> 00:04:11,869
Wil Wheaton.
94
00:04:18,111 --> 00:04:19,477
Wil Wheaton.
95
00:04:19,546 --> 00:04:20,745
Wil Wheaton.
96
00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:24,282
Wil Wheaton.
97
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,884
Now's not a good time, Sheldon.
98
00:04:26,953 --> 00:04:29,887
For what?
You.
99
00:04:29,956 --> 00:04:32,557
I need to apologize.
100
00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:34,559
- Apology accepted.
- Wil, come on,
101
00:04:34,628 --> 00:04:35,727
I cast fireball,
102
00:04:35,795 --> 00:04:37,328
you need to roll
your dexterity save.
103
00:04:37,397 --> 00:04:38,763
I'll be right there.
104
00:04:38,832 --> 00:04:41,065
Are you playing
Dungeons & Dragons?
105
00:04:41,134 --> 00:04:42,600
- No.
- Would you hurry up,
106
00:04:42,669 --> 00:04:44,569
man, the map says
this dungeon's
107
00:04:44,638 --> 00:04:47,405
full of dragons.
108
00:04:47,474 --> 00:04:50,908
Still no.
Who are you playing with?
109
00:04:50,977 --> 00:04:53,444
Ugh... it's just some friends,
you don't know them.
110
00:04:53,513 --> 00:04:54,445
Wheaton, get back here.
111
00:04:54,514 --> 00:04:55,780
Hobgoblins
are at the gate,
112
00:04:55,849 --> 00:04:59,617
and you're at the door
buying Girl Scout Cookies.
113
00:05:01,888 --> 00:05:03,688
Is that William Shat...?
Nope.
114
00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:10,762
Hey, you guys want to read
my fan fiction mash-up,
115
00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:12,430
"Captain Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"?
116
00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:16,000
- Nope. - No.
- Certainly not.
117
00:05:16,069 --> 00:05:17,502
You don't even know
what it's about.
118
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:18,936
Is it about
a superhero
119
00:05:19,005 --> 00:05:20,705
who finds her voice
by doing stand-up?
120
00:05:20,774 --> 00:05:23,808
That's so much better
than what I had.
121
00:05:24,944 --> 00:05:27,845
Mine is just a Jewish girl
that flies.
122
00:05:27,914 --> 00:05:30,715
I'd read that.
123
00:05:30,784 --> 00:05:33,117
Guys, guys,
Wil Wheaton
124
00:05:33,186 --> 00:05:35,320
hosts a secret
celebrity D&D game.
125
00:05:35,388 --> 00:05:36,688
How do you know?
Who was there?
126
00:05:36,756 --> 00:05:38,389
Why are you damp?
127
00:05:38,458 --> 00:05:40,792
I was trying to peek
in Wil's window,
128
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:42,327
and he turned the sprinklers on.
129
00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:45,863
Oh, that means they
must be really famous.
130
00:05:45,932 --> 00:05:47,799
I'm almost positive
I heard William Shatner.
131
00:05:47,867 --> 00:05:50,068
I wonder who else is playing.
132
00:05:50,136 --> 00:05:53,838
I-I bet we can use graph theory
to determine who Wil knows
133
00:05:53,907 --> 00:05:56,207
and who is likely to play D&D.
Yes.
134
00:05:56,276 --> 00:06:01,179
Okay, obviously he's connected
to the whole Next Gen cast...
135
00:06:01,247 --> 00:06:04,382
So this is the rest
of our night, huh?
136
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,417
Oh, no,
137
00:06:06,486 --> 00:06:08,753
this is the rest of our lives.
138
00:06:10,423 --> 00:06:15,059
And Josh Brolin gets
you to every Avenger.
139
00:06:15,128 --> 00:06:17,195
Kevin Smith's
in this article
140
00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:18,696
about celebrities who play D&D.
141
00:06:18,765 --> 00:06:20,231
Oh! A-And he was
on Wil's podcast,
142
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:21,899
so they know each other.
143
00:06:21,968 --> 00:06:23,234
G-Go on his Instagram,
144
00:06:23,303 --> 00:06:24,463
see if you can find anything.
145
00:06:24,504 --> 00:06:26,337
Yeah, he-he posted something
an hour ago:
146
00:06:26,406 --> 00:06:27,872
"#GameNight."
147
00:06:27,941 --> 00:06:30,742
That looks like Wil's house.
148
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:32,243
William Shatner,
149
00:06:32,312 --> 00:06:34,445
Kevin Smith--
who else could be there?
150
00:06:34,514 --> 00:06:36,881
Do you see what I see
over his shoulder?
151
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,584
Is that a ghost?
152
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,754
I think it's Stuart.
153
00:06:45,024 --> 00:06:48,459
That is Stuart.
What-What's he doing there?
154
00:06:48,528 --> 00:06:50,461
Maybe he died in Wil's house
155
00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:53,131
and he can't leave
until he solves his own murder.
156
00:06:55,135 --> 00:06:58,403
Why would Wil invite
Stuart and not us?
157
00:06:58,471 --> 00:07:00,304
I know the answer.
Yeah.
158
00:07:00,373 --> 00:07:02,240
We all know the answer.
159
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:10,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
160
00:07:16,656 --> 00:07:17,922
Hey, guys.
161
00:07:17,991 --> 00:07:20,425
You're home late.
162
00:07:20,493 --> 00:07:22,727
Uh, yeah.
163
00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:26,464
I had a crazy night.
I went to the pharmacy.
164
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,600
I like to be there when
the new decongestants drop.
165
00:07:29,669 --> 00:07:31,769
Cut the crap.
We know where you were.
166
00:07:31,838 --> 00:07:33,171
We know what
you were doing.
167
00:07:33,239 --> 00:07:37,341
Yeah, I just told you. I was
at CVS breathing my ass off.
168
00:07:37,410 --> 00:07:38,654
Oh, you were breathing,
all right.
169
00:07:38,678 --> 00:07:40,678
You were breathing the
rarefied air of celebrities.
170
00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:41,991
I don't know what
you're talking about.
171
00:07:42,015 --> 00:07:43,181
Then why are
you trembling?
172
00:07:43,249 --> 00:07:45,016
I'm always trembling.
173
00:07:45,084 --> 00:07:46,851
We know you were
at Wil's D&D game.
174
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:47,985
We saw you on Instagram.
175
00:07:48,054 --> 00:07:49,632
We just want to know
how you got invited.
176
00:07:49,656 --> 00:07:53,825
I can't talk about it or they
won't invite me back next week.
177
00:07:53,893 --> 00:07:55,526
So there's another
game next week.
178
00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:57,595
I didn't mean to say that.
179
00:07:57,664 --> 00:07:59,464
Who's in it?
I can't tell you!
180
00:07:59,532 --> 00:08:01,966
How do we get invited?
I don't know!
181
00:08:02,035 --> 00:08:04,469
How many hit dice are they
playing the wereboar as having?
182
00:08:04,537 --> 00:08:08,105
12d8 + 24--
I mean, I don't know!
183
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,813
Hey, Stuart.
184
00:08:15,882 --> 00:08:17,962
I don't want to play anymore.
It's too much pressure.
185
00:08:19,452 --> 00:08:21,886
Why, what happened?
I've-I've said too much.
186
00:08:21,955 --> 00:08:23,621
You haven't said anything.
187
00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:26,791
Not to you, to them.
Who's them?
188
00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:29,560
Ah! Now I have said too much!
189
00:08:32,565 --> 00:08:34,632
But y-you blocked
your number, right?
190
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:35,833
Relax,
191
00:08:35,902 --> 00:08:39,303
this is not my first
creepy phone call.
192
00:08:39,372 --> 00:08:42,907
It's like riding a bike...
slowly past a girl's house.
193
00:08:44,577 --> 00:08:45,710
Hello.
194
00:08:45,778 --> 00:08:46,911
Wil,
195
00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:48,546
Bill Shatner here.
196
00:08:50,383 --> 00:08:53,251
Is this Howard?
197
00:08:53,319 --> 00:08:56,821
Of course not. It-It's Shatner.
198
00:08:56,890 --> 00:09:00,491
If you don't believe me, ask my
good friend, Christopher Walken.
199
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,261
Hello, Bill and I are just
200
00:09:03,329 --> 00:09:06,731
hanging out...
201
00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:08,766
at The Polo Lounge.
202
00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:12,403
Mr. Shatner, Mr. Walken,
here are your martinis.
203
00:09:12,472 --> 00:09:13,749
What are you doing?
204
00:09:13,773 --> 00:09:15,451
I'm filling out the world.
You're ruining it.
205
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:17,041
No, he's not.
206
00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:19,877
Thanks, Wil.
207
00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:29,098
Sheldon, why are you walking
everywhere? Just get a horse.
208
00:09:29,122 --> 00:09:32,256
I had a horse.
It got hit by a train.
209
00:09:32,325 --> 00:09:33,591
Get another one.
210
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,092
I can't just replace Chauncey.
211
00:09:35,161 --> 00:09:37,194
I'm still in the
grieving process.
212
00:09:39,999 --> 00:09:41,299
Hey.
213
00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,768
Hey, Leonard, I have an opening
in my D&D game next week,
214
00:09:43,836 --> 00:09:45,948
and I was wondering if you
were interested in playing.
215
00:09:45,972 --> 00:09:47,471
Well, yes, thank you.
216
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,073
Okay, great.
217
00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,375
Now, here's the thing,
you can't tell anyone.
218
00:09:51,444 --> 00:09:53,144
I'm serious,
not Howard, not Raj,
219
00:09:53,212 --> 00:09:54,812
and certainly not Sheldon.
220
00:09:54,881 --> 00:09:56,247
Okay.
221
00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:57,660
I'm really sorry
to put you in a position
222
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,616
where you have to lie
to your friends...
223
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,585
See you there!
224
00:10:02,055 --> 00:10:04,622
You come face to face
with a massive monster
225
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,223
with a gaping maw
226
00:10:06,292 --> 00:10:11,162
full of teeth, three huge legs,
and flailing tentacles.
227
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:13,431
What do you do?
228
00:10:13,499 --> 00:10:16,667
Fellas, it looks like
we're facing a, an otyugh.
229
00:10:18,304 --> 00:10:20,404
Here's the plan...
230
00:10:20,473 --> 00:10:22,573
Hold on there, Bill.
231
00:10:22,642 --> 00:10:24,108
Now what, Kareem?
232
00:10:25,578 --> 00:10:29,146
How do we know
it's not a Neo-otyugh?
233
00:10:29,215 --> 00:10:30,648
Same way I know
the difference
234
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,350
between an owlbear
and a bugbear.
235
00:10:32,418 --> 00:10:34,318
Does that answer
your question?
236
00:10:34,387 --> 00:10:36,687
No.
237
00:10:40,393 --> 00:10:41,859
Look, there's one way
to settle this:
238
00:10:41,928 --> 00:10:43,461
we chop it up
and look at the pieces.
239
00:10:43,529 --> 00:10:46,364
Oh, come on, why do you always
got to attack everything?
240
00:10:46,432 --> 00:10:47,743
Why can't we just try
talking to it?
241
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:51,869
Big surprise, Podcast
here wants to talk.
242
00:10:51,938 --> 00:10:53,971
What do you think, Leonard?
243
00:10:58,044 --> 00:11:01,779
I think this is the greatest day
of my entire life.
244
00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:05,316
It's all right, buddy,
one day you'll meet a girl.
245
00:11:11,572 --> 00:11:13,004
Hey, how was your lecture?
246
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,083
Oh, it was so good.
247
00:11:15,084 --> 00:11:17,351
I-I-I mean, it-it started great,
248
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,820
and then the, the middle
was great,
249
00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:21,500
and then the ending was like...
250
00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:22,524
So great.
251
00:11:25,161 --> 00:11:29,697
Leonard, if you went to House
of Pies again, just say it.
252
00:11:29,765 --> 00:11:31,209
Wait, if you think I'm lying,
253
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,513
why do you think
I'm eating pies?
254
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:35,202
Why don't you think I'm...
having an affair?
255
00:11:35,271 --> 00:11:38,639
Listen, i-it's fine, just
next time, bring me a slice.
256
00:11:38,708 --> 00:11:42,209
Okay, well, if you
really want to know,
257
00:11:42,278 --> 00:11:43,777
I'll tell you where I was.
258
00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:46,547
I was at Wil's D&D game,
but that's all I can say.
259
00:11:46,615 --> 00:11:49,216
Oh, fun.
Were there famous people there?
260
00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:53,187
Ah, sorry, I-I-I can't
tell you that.
261
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,155
Okay, well, yes,
262
00:11:55,224 --> 00:11:59,059
but I-I-I-I can't
tell you who.
263
00:11:59,128 --> 00:12:01,061
Well, no, I-I can
tell you Shatner,
264
00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:03,297
but that's only because
you already knew that one.
265
00:12:03,365 --> 00:12:04,898
Well, I'm glad you had fun.
266
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,500
Yeah.
267
00:12:06,569 --> 00:12:08,836
Ugh, I wish I could tell you
who else was there.
268
00:12:08,904 --> 00:12:10,904
I can't, I promised.
269
00:12:10,973 --> 00:12:13,507
Yeah, if it makes you feel
better, I couldn't care less.
270
00:12:13,576 --> 00:12:15,843
That's true,
271
00:12:15,911 --> 00:12:18,145
you don't care, so there's
no harm in telling you.
272
00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:19,913
Okay, you really
don't have to.
273
00:12:19,982 --> 00:12:22,516
All right,
I'll tell you. Uh...
274
00:12:22,585 --> 00:12:24,318
Kevin Smith was there,
275
00:12:24,386 --> 00:12:28,021
and-and, uh, this really
tall guy named Kareem.
276
00:12:28,090 --> 00:12:30,991
Wait-wait,
K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
277
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:34,194
I don't know, it was, uh,
Kareem something Jabbar.
278
00:12:36,432 --> 00:12:37,931
How do you know him?
279
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,566
How do you not know him?
280
00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:42,169
Well, I know him now
'cause he was there.
281
00:12:42,238 --> 00:12:43,170
Wow.
282
00:12:43,239 --> 00:12:46,073
That is so cool.
283
00:12:46,142 --> 00:12:47,741
Oh, a-and that, uh,
the guy that played
284
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,176
the werewolf on-on True Blood,
285
00:12:49,245 --> 00:12:52,012
he was there.
Wh-- Joe Manganiello?
286
00:12:52,081 --> 00:12:56,583
Uh, yeah.
From Magic Mike?
287
00:12:56,652 --> 00:12:59,286
What's that?
288
00:12:59,355 --> 00:13:01,421
Okay, okay,
289
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,926
did he look... like this?
290
00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:08,729
He had his clothes on,
but, yeah.
291
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,765
I can't believe you
met Joe Manganiello.
292
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,066
Is he nice?
Oh, he's so nice.
293
00:13:13,135 --> 00:13:16,103
I-I-I rolled my dice
underneath the couch,
294
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:19,473
and he just lifted
it up, one hand.
295
00:13:19,542 --> 00:13:22,409
Oh, I-I bet he did.
296
00:13:24,947 --> 00:13:27,114
Hi. Okay, can you guys
keep a secret?
297
00:13:27,183 --> 00:13:28,315
Yeah.
Sure.
298
00:13:28,384 --> 00:13:30,751
Good, 'cause I can't.
299
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,920
Leonard played
Dungeons & Dragons
300
00:13:32,988 --> 00:13:34,421
with the hot guy
from Magic Mike.
301
00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:38,058
I never got to see that movie.
Seriously?
302
00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:39,560
Yeah, Howie made us leave
303
00:13:39,628 --> 00:13:41,595
as soon as he realized
it wasn't about magic.
304
00:13:42,898 --> 00:13:46,266
Well, I have seen that movie
one or seven times,
305
00:13:46,335 --> 00:13:48,268
and trust me, it is magic.
306
00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:52,439
- Which guy?
- That one.
307
00:13:52,508 --> 00:13:54,975
Abracadabra.
308
00:13:57,079 --> 00:13:59,746
Hey, you know what was fun?
309
00:13:59,815 --> 00:14:02,616
That time we played
Dungeons & Dragons.
310
00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:06,687
That was fun.
We should play that more.
311
00:14:08,824 --> 00:14:10,958
Sorry, what now?
312
00:14:16,699 --> 00:14:18,265
Hey, what are you guys
doing here?
313
00:14:18,334 --> 00:14:20,767
Oh, I, uh, think Sheldon
might have left something.
314
00:14:20,836 --> 00:14:22,970
Oh, you mean, besides his lunch?
315
00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:28,842
You are so funny, Wil.
316
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:32,145
We were just talking
about how funny you are.
317
00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:33,881
Yeah, Leonard told you,
didn't he?
318
00:14:33,949 --> 00:14:35,382
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Yup. - Yeah.
319
00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:37,050
It's Manganiello?
320
00:14:37,119 --> 00:14:38,685
- Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
321
00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:39,987
Feel good about yourselves?
322
00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:41,989
- Nope. - No.
- Yeah.
323
00:14:44,393 --> 00:14:46,960
Oh, we're going
with no? No.
324
00:14:49,265 --> 00:14:51,965
Hey, guys.
325
00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:53,800
What are you
smiling about?
326
00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:56,036
What? This is my regular face.
327
00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:58,005
No, it's not.
328
00:14:58,073 --> 00:15:00,908
Y-Your regular face
is more like this...
329
00:15:02,978 --> 00:15:07,748
No, no, i-it's-it's more
in the eyebrows, like this...
330
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:13,387
Okay, make your jokes.
331
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:14,821
I'm still in a great mood.
332
00:15:17,426 --> 00:15:20,027
Hey.
333
00:15:20,095 --> 00:15:21,428
Wait, what?
334
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:25,365
Why?
335
00:15:25,434 --> 00:15:28,101
Oh, come on, but...
336
00:15:29,238 --> 00:15:32,940
O-Okay, fine.
337
00:15:33,008 --> 00:15:35,909
Huh, Raj was right,
it is more in the eyebrows.
338
00:15:37,179 --> 00:15:38,512
What was that all about?
339
00:15:38,580 --> 00:15:40,380
Wil kicked me out
of his D&D game.
340
00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,884
You were
in Wil's D&D game?
341
00:15:43,953 --> 00:15:45,786
With William Shatner?
And you didn't tell us?
342
00:15:45,854 --> 00:15:48,588
I'm sorry,
Wil made me promise not to.
343
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:50,223
I thought
we were friends.
344
00:15:50,292 --> 00:15:52,559
Oh, come on, you guys
would do the same thing.
345
00:15:52,628 --> 00:15:54,227
No, we wouldn't!
I told you when I was
346
00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:55,862
in spin class with
Scarlett Johansson.
347
00:15:55,931 --> 00:15:57,898
It didn't even turn out
to be Scarlett Johansson.
348
00:15:57,967 --> 00:16:00,734
Well, that's her
fault, not mine!
349
00:16:00,803 --> 00:16:02,235
It doesn't matter
350
00:16:02,304 --> 00:16:05,138
because Penny blabbed about it
and now I'm out.
351
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:09,209
So there's an open seat.
352
00:16:10,546 --> 00:16:12,112
Wil!
Wil Wheaton!
353
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:14,114
Open! Open!
354
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:17,884
No. No. No.
355
00:16:17,953 --> 00:16:19,252
Hell no.
356
00:16:19,321 --> 00:16:22,889
Look, we know Leonard is out.
You need to fill a seat.
357
00:16:22,958 --> 00:16:25,292
It should be one of us.
358
00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:26,727
Or give me another chance.
359
00:16:26,795 --> 00:16:29,396
I think me and Joe Manganiello
were really hitting it off.
360
00:16:29,465 --> 00:16:32,432
Joe Manganiello was there?
From Magic Mike?
361
00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:35,168
You guys suck.
362
00:16:35,237 --> 00:16:37,170
Agreed. You guys suck.
Let's go, Wil.
363
00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:38,772
No.
364
00:16:39,808 --> 00:16:41,508
All of you.
365
00:16:41,577 --> 00:16:43,410
You're just
trying to use me
366
00:16:43,479 --> 00:16:45,245
to get close
to my famous friends.
367
00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:46,913
Do you know how
that makes me feel?
368
00:16:46,982 --> 00:16:49,149
Flattered?
369
00:16:49,218 --> 00:16:51,151
Used.
370
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:54,454
I was gonna
guess that.
371
00:16:54,523 --> 00:16:56,490
One of the worst things
about being a celebrity
372
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,860
is you never know if people
like you for you.
373
00:16:59,928 --> 00:17:03,330
Well, thanks
for letting me know.
374
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,501
You're right, that was
really crappy of us.
375
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:11,338
Yeah, I guess we just got
caught up in the excitement.
376
00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:14,274
We're sorry, Wil.
We do like you for you.
377
00:17:14,343 --> 00:17:15,776
And if it makes
you feel
378
00:17:15,844 --> 00:17:18,084
any better, I don't even really
consider you a celebrity.
379
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:26,186
Should we go or do you want
to wait for the sprinklers?
380
00:17:32,071 --> 00:17:33,938
Guys, I-I still feel
a little bad about Wil.
381
00:17:34,006 --> 00:17:35,206
Me, too.
382
00:17:35,274 --> 00:17:38,642
Yeah. We should invite him
to come play with us.
383
00:17:38,711 --> 00:17:40,845
Ask him to bring
some chips
384
00:17:40,913 --> 00:17:42,446
because we're all out.
385
00:17:42,515 --> 00:17:44,448
Hey, Wil, this is Leonard.
386
00:17:44,517 --> 00:17:45,683
Make it Bugles.
387
00:17:45,751 --> 00:17:47,251
No, no, no, no, no,
pretzel sticks.
388
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,752
No, no, no, Bugles.
389
00:17:49,889 --> 00:17:51,689
We're gonna play some D&D
390
00:17:51,757 --> 00:17:53,068
and thought you might
want to join us.
391
00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:54,303
Thank you, Leonard, but actually
392
00:17:54,327 --> 00:17:55,960
I can't do it tonight.
393
00:17:56,028 --> 00:17:57,962
Uh, how about another time?
394
00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,798
Okay, great. Thanks. Bye.
395
00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,800
Okay, where were we?
396
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:10,274
I was about to go all
Wrath of Khan on the ogres.
397
00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:11,809
Oh, man, that's it.
398
00:18:11,878 --> 00:18:14,678
Put another dollar
in the Star Trek jar, Bill.
399
00:18:14,747 --> 00:18:17,214
Worth it.
400
00:18:18,618 --> 00:18:22,786
Speaking of putting
dollars in things...
401
00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:28,292
I loved you
in Magic Mike.
402
00:18:28,361 --> 00:18:30,361
Thanks.
403
00:18:30,429 --> 00:18:31,962
Switch places with me.
404
00:18:34,267 --> 00:18:37,568
Are we playing musical chairs
or Dungeons & Dragons?
405
00:18:37,637 --> 00:18:41,071
Yeah, let's teach that ogre
what my broadsword tastes like.
406
00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:44,408
I like your moxie.
407
00:18:44,477 --> 00:18:47,311
Aw, and I like
your grandpa words.
408
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:56,720
My dad and I watched you win
back-to-back championships.
409
00:18:56,789 --> 00:19:00,925
And I watched you sniff Joe's
hair when he wasn't looking.
410
00:19:04,997 --> 00:19:07,331
Thank you again for inviting us,
and don't worry,
411
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,866
we won't tell the guys.
412
00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:11,368
You know what, why don't
you tell the guys?
413
00:19:11,437 --> 00:19:13,203
In fact, let's all
take a picture
414
00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:14,772
and send it to
them right now.
415
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,179
That's weird.
416
00:19:26,919 --> 00:19:29,219
We deserve that.
417
00:19:32,157 --> 00:19:39,157
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
417
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:46,507
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org
30543
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof