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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Oh. Sorry I'm late.
3
00:00:08,460 --> 00:00:10,620
How long till the kids come home?
4
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One hour.
5
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:13,330
Take your clothes off right now
6
00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:14,476
and get your tight buns upstairs.
7
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Upstairs? I didn't pay to remodel
that kitchen just to cook food in it.
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Oh!
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00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:24,670
Oh, my God!
10
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You know it.
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Oh, no!
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00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:28,670
We just came for potato chips.
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Strange choice for a last meal.
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- Aah!
- Aah!
15
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That's why you knock!
16
00:00:38,390 --> 00:00:39,590
Hello, Carol.
17
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Consider yourself lucky
I'm wearing this much.
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?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17?
?www.addic7ed.com?
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Okay, Rachel's coming in.
20
00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:14,550
Do you want me to take
the lead on this talk?
21
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,760
I know she can be a little
bit of a handful for you.
22
00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:18,460
This is a teenage girl.
23
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College talks should be easy,
24
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but this wasn't just any teenage girl.
25
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,330
Hey, guys.
26
00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:24,900
Before we talk about this school stuff,
27
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:28,000
I want to thank you both for
initiating this dialogue.
28
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I'm touched by your concern.
29
00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:33,380
Thank you.
30
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,240
What was I gonna say?
31
00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:38,110
We talked a little while ago about...
32
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,710
About making yourself more
attractive to colleges.
33
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,050
How do you think that's going?
34
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Good. I lost three pounds
and got highlights.
35
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:49,590
Your guidance counselor says
you have no extracurriculars.
36
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,420
That's not true. I started P-GADD...
37
00:01:51,430 --> 00:01:53,230
popular girls against drunk driving.
38
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,430
Oh, yeah? I'm the president of F.A.B.S.
39
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Hmm?
40
00:01:56,340 --> 00:01:58,160
Fathers against B.S.
41
00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,470
Good line. Strong.
42
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:00,430
Thank you.
43
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:01,730
The point is
44
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:04,040
that you got to start
living up to your potential,
45
00:02:04,050 --> 00:02:06,510
because if you don't,
you're not gonna get a job.
46
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,010
Mom doesn't have a job.
47
00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:11,410
Are you saying she hasn't been
living up to her potential?
48
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:12,550
Yeah, is that what you're trying to say?
49
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,410
No. No.
50
00:02:14,420 --> 00:02:18,120
What I'm saying is that you
got to challenge yourself.
51
00:02:18,130 --> 00:02:20,320
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there,
52
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because yesterday, I made a decision
53
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,760
that addresses all of your concerns.
54
00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,030
What's that?
55
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,530
I'm joining the wrestling team.
56
00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:28,830
See you two at dinner.
57
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,530
We should do this more often.
58
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,670
What happened? Did we win?
59
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,180
I have no idea, but she's up to something.
60
00:02:37,410 --> 00:02:38,770
You got to be kidding me.
61
00:02:38,780 --> 00:02:40,940
Apparently, seeing my parents bone
62
00:02:40,950 --> 00:02:42,440
wasn't enough to keep my friends away.
63
00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:45,080
Okay, boys, uh...
64
00:02:45,090 --> 00:02:47,010
About yesterday.
65
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,150
When a man loves a woman...
66
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,850
for God's sake, they're not our kids.
67
00:02:50,860 --> 00:02:52,850
You don't have to explain anything to them.
68
00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:54,850
Why do you two keep barging into our house?
69
00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:57,260
There was a rumor Mrs.
Dunlevy made caramel apples.
70
00:02:57,270 --> 00:02:59,190
Oh, the rumor's true!
71
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,260
I'll go get them.
72
00:03:00,270 --> 00:03:01,730
Uh, but, listen, boys.
73
00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:05,730
I want you to feel free to
come over any time you want,
74
00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:09,040
because this... this is a hangout house.
75
00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:10,270
Right, Jack?
76
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,450
Absolutely.
77
00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:15,170
This is not the hangout house!
78
00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:17,810
If you two ever enter this house uninvited,
79
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,680
I will shave off your eyebrows.
80
00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:21,350
My eyebrows are my best feature.
81
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,260
It's apple time!
82
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:28,220
Welcome to the hangout house.
83
00:03:31,530 --> 00:03:33,590
Dude, at 8:00 tonight,
84
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,630
we're gonna go watch Dave Esterly
85
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:35,660
take a dump off the pier.
86
00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:36,989
You in?
87
00:03:36,990 --> 00:03:39,426
Man, that sounds like a
solid night. But, I can't.
88
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,770
I'm going to the Las Palmas
Seaview inn with my mom.
89
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,140
Got it.
90
00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:43,970
- Your parents are getting divorced.
- No!
91
00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:45,840
It's kind of a mother-and-son tradition.
92
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,740
I mean, I mostly do it for her, but...
93
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,550
Honey, look. Look.
94
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,580
They have hot stone
therapy massages this year.
95
00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:54,750
So long, shoulder tension.
96
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,080
- Right?
- Right?
97
00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:04,230
Okay. Here's the hotel's number.
98
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,660
Oh, and will you promise
99
00:04:05,670 --> 00:04:07,930
to talk Rachel out of that
stupid wrestling idea?
100
00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,100
There's no need. It's a scam.
101
00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:10,570
Like the time she stole the neighbor's cat
102
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:11,600
to collect the reward.
103
00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:12,730
But what if it's not?
104
00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:14,540
Look, I hope she does join the team.
105
00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:15,940
I wrestled in high school.
106
00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:17,810
It helped make me the man I am today.
107
00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:20,540
That and the Bob Seger
concert we went to in '81.
108
00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:21,910
The only time I've seen you cry
109
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,310
is when he did "Against The Wind."
110
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,810
Son of a bitch played the
crap out of that song.
111
00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:27,550
He did.
112
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,120
Guys, I just got the worst news.
113
00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:31,150
Coach won't let me
wrestle 'cause I'm a girl.
114
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,020
Bingo! There it is.
115
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Told you.
116
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,960
You had no intention of wrestling, did you?
117
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Did you even go down and talk to him?
118
00:04:37,170 --> 00:04:38,530
I did. I swear.
119
00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:39,990
So, you wouldn't mind
120
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,060
if I went down there and
verified your little story?
121
00:04:41,070 --> 00:04:43,060
- I hope you do.
- I hope I do, too.
122
00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:45,070
You don't have to hope. You can just do it.
123
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,500
- Maybe I will.
- Great.
124
00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:48,740
Great.
125
00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:50,110
Showed her.
126
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,010
The mother and son
vacation was in full swing,
127
00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:57,350
and we were starting to get pretty crazy.
128
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,550
Uh, hello!
129
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,550
I'm in room 14,
130
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,250
and I believe someone in the
next room has an ostrich.
131
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:06,650
Thank you.
132
00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:07,720
Frankie, run into the hallway
133
00:05:07,730 --> 00:05:09,230
and see who they send up.
134
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:13,330
Dunlevy?
135
00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:15,260
Perfect! The varsity baseball team!
136
00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:16,930
What are you doing here, bro?
137
00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:18,070
Uh...
138
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,640
Do you see anyone? Are we caught?
139
00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:21,800
Are you in there with a chick?
140
00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:23,400
Big time.
141
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,280
Up top.
142
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:27,940
We're gonna be chilling down by the pool.
143
00:05:27,950 --> 00:05:30,850
You should bring her by when
you're done knocking boots.
144
00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:32,010
Cool.
145
00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:33,880
Um, it's gonna be awhile, though,
146
00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:36,320
'cause, uh, you know, she's pretty freaky.
147
00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:37,790
She's a freaky bitch.
148
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,050
Yep.
149
00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:40,320
Just called my mom a freaky bitch.
150
00:05:43,370 --> 00:05:45,290
So, uh, did my daughter ask you
151
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,400
if she could join the wrestling team?
152
00:05:47,410 --> 00:05:48,430
Yep.
153
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,900
Really?
154
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:51,530
But it was like, "hey, I'm pretty.
155
00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:53,270
Can I join the team? No? Okay. Bye."
156
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,870
She did say the pretty thing,
157
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,970
but she wouldn't take no for an answer.
158
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,510
Told you, dad. I really want to wrestle.
159
00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,540
You know what?
160
00:05:59,550 --> 00:06:01,910
I got a "no chit-chat" rule,
161
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,380
so why don't you two take it outside?
162
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:04,610
Yeah, I got the same sign at home.
163
00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:05,910
Let me just ask you this.
164
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,050
If she wants to be on the team,
165
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:07,980
why won't you give her a shot?
166
00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:09,680
I believe in two things...
167
00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:11,220
the teachings of Buddha
168
00:06:11,230 --> 00:06:14,020
and that women should only wrestle in mud.
169
00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:15,860
He's sexist!
170
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:17,030
No, worse. He's an idiot.
171
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,930
It's a far more serious condition.
172
00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:20,460
You know, pal, you talk a lot for a guy
173
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:22,700
who probably couldn't wrestle
his way out of a paper bag.
174
00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:24,130
I guess that state championship I won
175
00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:25,270
was just by accident.
176
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,070
Oh, one state championship?
177
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,170
See, I'm a three-time
Rhode Island state champ.
178
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,310
Oh, no kidding. I'm from New York.
179
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:31,670
You know what we say about Rhode Island.
180
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,740
- What?
- Nothing. We never talk about you.
181
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,410
I'll tell you what, hombre.
182
00:06:35,420 --> 00:06:37,850
I'll let her on the team if you can pin me.
183
00:06:37,860 --> 00:06:39,550
Why don't you just give
the janitor the day off,
184
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,180
'cause I'm about to mop the floor with you.
185
00:06:41,190 --> 00:06:43,490
Well, the joke's on you.
I'm also the janitor.
186
00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:54,340
Full disclosure...
187
00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:56,200
they used to call me the assassin.
188
00:06:56,210 --> 00:06:58,270
Ha! Hey!
189
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:01,480
When I lived in Japan, they called me...
190
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:04,380
Haikan-ko-resura.
191
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:05,580
Yeah, what does that mean?
192
00:07:05,590 --> 00:07:09,020
It means "the plumber who also wrestles."
193
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:12,490
Oh, your moves,
194
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,720
much like the piping in
this school, are rusty.
195
00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:16,820
Yeah? How's the mat taste?
196
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,160
One, two, three, four, five...
197
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:24,710
stop at three! Got it.
198
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,240
Wow!
199
00:07:28,250 --> 00:07:30,870
I thought I had gotten bored
seeing guys fight over me,
200
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,240
but that was awesome!
201
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,110
Thanks, dad. You're a badass.
202
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,650
I need you to pull the car around.
203
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,850
With the varsity guys right outside,
204
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:43,180
I had to keep my mom in the room.
205
00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:44,820
You want to go take a dip in the pool?
206
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:47,290
Uh, we just ate, you know? So
we would have to wait, right?
207
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,290
That whole half-hour thing
was just invented by parents
208
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:50,460
so that they could take naps.
209
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,460
Nap! Nap is a great idea!
210
00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:54,760
Why don't you take a nap,
211
00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:56,730
take one of those pills that dad gave you,
212
00:07:56,740 --> 00:07:59,230
and, uh, you can check out
what's on public television?
213
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,630
We're going swimming.
214
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,900
Public television will
be here when we get back.
215
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,450
Thanks to viewers like me.
216
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,610
What are you guys doing here?
217
00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:14,080
We wanted to see you and
your girlfriend doing it.
218
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:15,250
Not in a pervy way.
219
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,320
What other ways are there?
220
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,180
Look, I don't bone for buddies.
221
00:08:17,190 --> 00:08:18,490
I bone for me.
222
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:21,920
I'm all suited up and
ready! Oh! Hello, there.
223
00:08:21,930 --> 00:08:23,720
Um, these are some of my friends.
224
00:08:23,730 --> 00:08:25,430
They were just about to leave.
225
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,290
Oh, you know, you should
come down to the pool.
226
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:29,230
We're gonna have an
underwater handstand contest.
227
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,800
It's times like these
you get a new nickname.
228
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:36,240
Dunlevy's a mom humper!
229
00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:38,510
Like mom humper.
230
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,470
Meanwhile, Mikey and George
came back to the house
231
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,210
without an invite.
232
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:43,880
Brownies! Score!
233
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,950
Wait.
234
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,720
This feels like a trap.
235
00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,120
George, no!
236
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:52,820
Put that down! We got to get out of here!
237
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,100
I can't! It's glued to my hand!
238
00:08:56,570 --> 00:08:59,230
Hasta la eyebrows, baby!
239
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,510
Aah! Aah! Aah!
240
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:08,240
Hey, honey.
241
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:09,570
Hey.
242
00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:12,110
You seemed a little
bummed out on this trip.
243
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,410
Should I make some hot cocoa
244
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,180
and we'll hash this out, mother/son style?
245
00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:18,050
No mother/son style. I'm fine.
246
00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:19,410
Are you sure?
247
00:09:19,420 --> 00:09:21,580
'Cause our photo booth
pictures suggest otherwise.
248
00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:23,150
Here's you bummed.
249
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,650
Here's me alone,
250
00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:26,420
after you left the photo booth bummed.
251
00:09:26,430 --> 00:09:28,220
Oh, and here's me telling
the bitch after us
252
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:29,760
that me and my bummed-out
son weren't finished yet.
253
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:30,760
Mom!
254
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:33,690
What I'm trying to say is,
255
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:36,960
I'm getting too old for
these mother/son vacations.
256
00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:39,540
Hey, Frankie. I need
to borrow you a second.
257
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:49,410
You look like you have a
lot of emotions right now.
258
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:50,610
Our son is officially
259
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:52,480
too embarrassed to hang out with me.
260
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:55,580
Does that mean you two
won't be taking that trip?
261
00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:57,690
We already went, Jack! Copy that.
262
00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,120
Are we in trouble or something?
263
00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:04,960
Is this an intervention?
264
00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:07,430
Are we finally getting
Frankie to wear deodorant?
265
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,960
Frankie, we're here because we love you,
266
00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:10,230
but you smell terrible.
267
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,300
No, this isn't an intervention, Rachel.
268
00:10:14,550 --> 00:10:17,640
I want to give you something,
and it's very important to me.
269
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:20,210
Eww, is it that sweat rag
Bob Seger threw at mom?
270
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,680
No, he threw it at me, not her.
271
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,080
We made eye contact.
272
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,610
It was a whole... anyway,
that's... that's not it.
273
00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:28,250
Look, I'm very excited
274
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,650
that you've chosen to commit
yourself to wrestling,
275
00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:32,790
but we've got to make
sure that you're prepared.
276
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:33,990
Frankie, get up here.
277
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,860
N... what if we just go get ice cream?
278
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:37,790
Okay.
279
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,060
Now, I wasn't always
280
00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:40,730
the beast of the man
that you see before you.
281
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:43,730
That's why I came up with
my signature wrestling move.
282
00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:45,900
I like to call it the death and taxes.
283
00:10:45,910 --> 00:10:46,900
Why?
284
00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:48,600
Because no one gets out of it.
285
00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:50,870
Whoa!
286
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,340
Come closer.
287
00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:56,310
It's like the more he struggles,
the more painful it is.
288
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,980
- I feel like we've learned a lot today.
- Shh.
289
00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:00,750
This is the coolest thing
you've ever shown me.
290
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,620
It's just nice to pass
on family traditions.
291
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,550
I really like spending
time with you, too, dad.
292
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,490
The earth is getting
dark. I can see my past.
293
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,390
Oh, sorry about that, chief.
294
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,760
Hey. How's your bladder?
295
00:11:11,770 --> 00:11:14,030
I got a couple more
moves I want to show her.
296
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,740
Hey, guys. What are you doing here?
297
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:25,970
What kind of father would I be
298
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,240
if I missed my daughter beating up a guy?
299
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:30,150
Next up, 106 weight class. Dunlevy.
300
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,280
You get out there
301
00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:34,980
and you show them what
it means to be a Dunlevy.
302
00:11:34,990 --> 00:11:36,780
Okay.
303
00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:40,290
Must be nice to give love
and support to a child
304
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,960
and have it returned instead
of thrown into the gutter
305
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:44,330
like a piece of garbage.
306
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:45,760
Yeah, it's pretty nice.
307
00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:48,160
Winner by default, Rachel Dunlevy.
308
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:53,730
Thank God she's on the team.
309
00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:56,540
She's increased attendance by...
310
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:57,910
What, is there 50 people here?
311
00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,340
50 people.
312
00:11:59,350 --> 00:12:00,910
Why the hell isn't she wrestling?
313
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,710
The other schools don't have
anybody in her weight class.
314
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,710
She gets automatic wins at every match
315
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,050
without doing a thing.
316
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,220
The crafty little devil
has beat the system.
317
00:12:10,790 --> 00:12:12,450
Well, I'll be damned.
318
00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:14,820
She's been playing me all along.
319
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:16,960
Our kids are tools.
320
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:24,939
Hey, dad.
321
00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:26,637
Can you believe there wasn't
anyone in my weight class?
322
00:12:26,638 --> 00:12:27,599
Super weird, huh?
323
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,074
Can it. I know your game.
324
00:12:29,075 --> 00:12:30,900
I just can't believe it took
me this long to figure it out.
325
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:33,370
So I found a loophole. So what?
326
00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:35,070
Grownups use them all the time.
327
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,940
Uncle Kenny got out of jury duty
by pretending to be a racist.
328
00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:39,640
He wasn't pretending.
329
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:42,740
Look, I stuck my neck out
to get you on this team.
330
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:44,380
I find it weird that you never cared
331
00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:46,480
about anything I did until
I tried something you like.
332
00:12:46,490 --> 00:12:47,680
Well, in my defense,
333
00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:49,150
I only like things that are interesting.
334
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,380
Look, honey, I know
everything comes easy to you,
335
00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:52,580
but I promise you,
336
00:12:52,590 --> 00:12:54,220
at some point, everybody pays the piper.
337
00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:55,750
So, when he comes, I'll pay him.
338
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,660
Better yet, I'll have
someone pay him for me.
339
00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:01,460
Here. Hold my trophy.
340
00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:04,722
I'm gonna run this over with my car.
341
00:13:04,727 --> 00:13:05,831
And he did.
342
00:13:05,832 --> 00:13:08,330
Blow out the candles, Frankie!
343
00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:12,560
Oh, for God's sakes.
Blow like you got a pair!
344
00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:15,230
Enough, Jack.
345
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,100
- Mommy?
- Yes, sweetie?
346
00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:19,640
You're my best friend.
347
00:13:20,780 --> 00:13:22,870
You're my best friend.
348
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,540
You're my best friend.
349
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:27,550
All right. You're cut off.
350
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:28,920
He was my best friend.
351
00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:32,120
We had our own secret handshake.
352
00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:33,380
We'd sing the handshake song.
353
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,150
Frankie and mommy
354
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,390
Doing our secret, secret handshake
355
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,160
-
That we do every day
- I remember.
356
00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:40,399
Shaking it, shaking it
357
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,930
I remember you guys singing it.
358
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:44,100
Look, it's natural. Kids pull away.
359
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:45,430
I mean, the best you can hope for
360
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,660
is a call when you're sitting alone
361
00:13:46,670 --> 00:13:48,270
in the nursing home on your birthday.
362
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:49,700
Why would I be sitting alone?
363
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:50,940
Because, statistically,
364
00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:52,440
I'm gonna be dead 15 years before you are,
365
00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:53,710
which reminds me,
366
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:54,940
I want to be burned on the boat at sea.
367
00:13:54,950 --> 00:13:56,270
No, we're gonna be living
368
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,210
in Frankie's pool house in Santa Barbara,
369
00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:00,580
because I refuse to let
our special bond disappear.
370
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,660
At the end of the video, he eats a candle.
371
00:14:03,890 --> 00:14:06,130
I don't think he's pool house
or Santa Barbara material.
372
00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:12,820
Aah!
373
00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:14,090
Game over, moochers!
374
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:16,630
You never would have made it through 'nam.
375
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,130
Frankie, what are you doing here?
376
00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:19,760
I live here. What the hell just happened?
377
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:22,070
I rigged the cookies with a
standard-issue robbery pack
378
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,240
'cause your buddies caught
your mom and me doing it.
379
00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:25,400
Oh!
380
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:27,570
Okay, in that case, then, my bad.
381
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:28,740
Paint's got lead in it.
382
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:30,240
You might want to hit the showers.
383
00:14:33,997 --> 00:14:35,229
Hey, dude.
384
00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:36,222
See you, dude.
385
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,400
Funny story... my mom was convinced
386
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,770
that I wouldn't be embarrassed
to hang out with her
387
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:47,900
if my friends thought she was cool.
388
00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:49,970
Hey, um, uh...
389
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:53,580
How about I buy us all a round
of milkshakes after the match?
390
00:14:53,590 --> 00:14:56,750
What she didn't realize is
that my friends were dicks.
391
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,310
You two should get a room.
392
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,880
Oh, wait. They already did.
393
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:02,920
Don't make fun of my son.
394
00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:04,150
- Mom, please.
- No, you know what?
395
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,420
I've had just about enough of this attitude
396
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:06,860
where kids can't be
friends with their moms.
397
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:10,330
You... you stupid wieners are just jealous
398
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:12,290
because you're not brave enough
to be friends with your moms.
399
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,600
Right, Frankie? Wait. Frankie, wait.
400
00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:15,060
Honey.
401
00:15:15,070 --> 00:15:18,070
The tournament was teeming with excitement
402
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,440
over Rachel and her new wrestling outfit.
403
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,470
Mostly from the guys.
404
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,580
A couple of whom weren't even allowed
405
00:15:33,590 --> 00:15:34,590
to be within 50 yards of a school.
406
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,290
It was safe to say
407
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,800
my sister was enjoying the attention.
408
00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:56,820
Whoa!
409
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,060
She made it all the way to the finals
410
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:07,340
without breaking a sweat.
411
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:12,730
Hey, dad.
412
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:13,930
You came here to see me win?
413
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,540
No, I came to see you wrestle.
414
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,440
You know, I was discussing
415
00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:19,440
your burgeoning sports career
with a patient of mine,
416
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:21,340
and we got to talking about his kid.
417
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:23,280
Uh, about your size, goes to Dalton high...
418
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:24,610
anger issues.
419
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:26,880
So, I said, "have you
thought about wrestling?"
420
00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:29,820
And he said, "perfect."
421
00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:31,820
So, I said, "blah, blah, blah, blah."
422
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:32,830
Uh, meet Ivan.
423
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,730
Whoa.
424
00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:41,030
You know what the irony is?
425
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,530
I thought it was gonna be
too late to sign him up,
426
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:43,560
but guess what?
427
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,170
Found a loophole.
428
00:16:45,180 --> 00:16:46,280
Ain't that a bitch?
429
00:16:55,872 --> 00:16:58,360
Next up, Novakov vs. Dunlevy.
430
00:16:58,370 --> 00:16:59,630
106 weight class.
431
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,990
Why does he have so many abs?
432
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,460
Yeah, he looks like a
leprechaun on steroids, huh?
433
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:05,960
Well, you had a good run. The scam is over.
434
00:17:05,970 --> 00:17:07,270
Take your forfeit, grab your stuff,
435
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:08,430
let's get out of here.
436
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,970
Dad, we both know if I wanted to,
437
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:11,700
I could spend the rest of my life
438
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:13,110
coasting on my good looks.
439
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,010
Boy, we hugged you way too much.
440
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:17,080
Seriously, dad.
441
00:17:17,090 --> 00:17:18,950
It's time to pay the piper.
442
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,550
That's my daughter.
443
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,960
Good work, man! She's hot!
444
00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:31,670
God, I hate kids.
445
00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:40,540
Frankie. Are you okay?
446
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,100
Oh, okay.
447
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,050
You're giving me the silent treatment.
448
00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:48,710
Fine, maybe I'll do it, too.
449
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,180
Nope. Can't. Here come the words.
450
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:52,240
You lost it in front of the entire gym
451
00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:54,380
and called my friends stupid wieners.
452
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:55,650
I said they were being stupid wieners.
453
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:56,680
Don't twist my words.
454
00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:57,820
It's the same thing, mom.
455
00:17:57,830 --> 00:17:59,150
Okay, agree to disagree.
456
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,850
Look.
457
00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:05,820
The fact that we're starting
to drift apart is hard for me.
458
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:07,590
What did you expect? I'm a teenager.
459
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,760
Did you think we were gonna
take vacations together
460
00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:10,900
till I was 50?
461
00:18:10,910 --> 00:18:12,360
Actually, when you were little,
462
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,370
I had this fantasy that you'd be president,
463
00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:16,540
and we'd all live in the
White House together.
464
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:18,040
Everyone would call me the first mom,
465
00:18:18,050 --> 00:18:19,710
and you'd consult me on
most domestic issues.
466
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:20,510
Mom.
467
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,040
I'm sorry I'm such a weirdo.
468
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:25,940
I just... I just miss the days
when we were best friends.
469
00:18:25,950 --> 00:18:28,350
You are my best friend.
470
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:30,020
I just can't let my friends know that.
471
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,220
That's way better than my fantasies.
472
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,960
All right, she was actually
my 11th best friend,
473
00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,760
but it wasn't the right
time to tell her that.
474
00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:42,960
Okay, remember, you're a Dunlevy.
475
00:18:42,970 --> 00:18:44,230
You come from a long line of people
476
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,430
who don't take any crap from anyone.
477
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,800
Let me hear your war cry.
478
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,400
Go get 'em.
479
00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:53,740
He'll be looking at your boobs.
Use that to your advantage.
480
00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:54,880
Oh, I always do. Okay.
481
00:18:58,350 --> 00:19:00,150
You can do this, Rach.
482
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,650
Come on!
483
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,000
Well, the gravy train goes off a cliff.
484
00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,560
Are you okay?
485
00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:20,970
Let's get out of here.
486
00:19:20,980 --> 00:19:23,240
Carry my head gear?
487
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,380
Gladly.
488
00:19:27,380 --> 00:19:28,610
I really thought I was gonna win.
489
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:29,780
Yeah.
490
00:19:29,790 --> 00:19:33,310
That was pretty damn funny.
491
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,720
- Can I come in?
- Mm-hmm.
492
00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:38,420
Pretty great out there today.
493
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:40,790
If I had known hurting my
face was a possibility,
494
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,120
I never would have wrestled.
495
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:43,560
Yeah.
496
00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:45,320
Uh, look.
497
00:19:45,330 --> 00:19:46,730
I know it seems like
498
00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:48,560
I don't care about a lot
of the things you do.
499
00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:49,600
I know you do, dad.
500
00:19:49,610 --> 00:19:50,900
No, really, I don't.
501
00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:53,200
But the reason I'm hands-off
502
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:56,270
is because I've never
had to worry about you.
503
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,240
You're smart, you're strong.
504
00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:01,710
Gorgeous, magnetic, have it.
505
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,440
Oh, sorry.
506
00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:05,790
Am I interrupting your
father/daughter moment?
507
00:20:07,690 --> 00:20:09,450
The point is, you're gonna be fine,
508
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,680
but it doesn't mean I shouldn't
spend more time with you.
509
00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:14,720
Thanks, dad.
510
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,360
Hey, there's a Color Me
Badd concert at the mall.
511
00:20:18,370 --> 00:20:20,130
Yeah, I won't be doing that,
512
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:23,060
but... We can find something.
513
00:20:25,610 --> 00:20:28,830
There weren't a ton of ways
to earn my dad's respect.
514
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,740
But getting body slammed by a tiny Hercules
515
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:34,050
was clearly one of them.
516
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:38,780
As for me and my mom,
517
00:20:38,790 --> 00:20:42,420
well, we had a new understanding, too.
518
00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:48,990
But I still found ways to remind her
519
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,830
she'd always be my mom...
520
00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:55,770
even if it was when no one was looking.
521
00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:04,940
What happened?
522
00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:06,100
The lights went out.
523
00:21:06,110 --> 00:21:08,570
I know, dumb ass.
524
00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:09,720
I don't like this. Let's bail.
525
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:15,050
It's locked.
526
00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:16,260
Abort. Abort.
527
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,190
Hello, boys.
528
00:21:28,940 --> 00:21:30,460
Worth it.
529
00:21:30,470 --> 00:21:31,860
Totally.
530
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:34,509
Plus, no eyebrows means nobody
knows what I'm thinking.
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