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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:07,050 Hey.Oh, hey. 2 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:11,924 Forgive me if this comes off as rude, but who the hell are you? 3 00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:14,231 I'm Kyle. I go to school with Shannon. 4 00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:15,537 Did you sleep here? 5 00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,843 Yeah. Want some eggs? 6 00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:22,805 Hey, babe, I was thinking... 7 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,592 What is that? 8 00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:30,465 That is a Kyle. It spent the night. 9 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,035 It spent the night? 10 00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,124 Want some eggs? 11 00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,431 Nobody wants your runny-ass eggs, man. 12 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,869 Morning. Oh, hey, Kyle. 13 00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,610 What are you still doing here? 14 00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,090 Thought you left. 15 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,527 I got hungry. I made you some eggs.Aw. 16 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,964 I'll see you at school tomorrow. 17 00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,140 Bye. 18 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,098 Bye. 19 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,057 How cute is he?! 20 00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,278 He made me eggs! He made me eggs! 21 00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,063 He made me eggs! 22 00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,240 I don't care how cute he is-- 23 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,243 and the boy is cute-- she cannot have guys sleep over. 24 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:12,072 I know, but I can't just tell her that. 25 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,551 Why not? For one, 26 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:16,728 when I was her age, I had guys sleep over 27 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:19,601 all... occasionally. 28 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,647 The problem is 29 00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,954 I can't tell Shannon what to do because I'm her sister, 30 00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,564 not her mom. 31 00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,349 But your sister is living with us, 32 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,352 and if she's gonna stay here, she has to play by our rules. 33 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:32,831 Yeah, but she doesn't have to stay here. 34 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,485 If we're too strict with her, 35 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:37,140 she might move out and go back to my dad's or God knows where. 36 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,969 Which we... Don't want. 37 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,145 Don't want. 38 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,886 But we do have to talk to her. 39 00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,670 Absolutely. [sighs] 40 00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:48,804 But look on the bright side: after living with my sister, 41 00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,023 our kids are gonna seem like a breeze. 42 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,461 Our kids? We can barely deal with Shannon. 43 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,593 Th-There's no way I can imagine kids of our own. 44 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:56,986 Okay, Nick, I got it. 45 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,683 I'm just saying. Look, 46 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,598 we'll have kids in a few years. Right? 47 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:01,904 After Shannon goes to college, 48 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,689 or... jail. 49 00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,213 Besides, 50 00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:10,391 I am too young for this to turn into a dad bod. 51 00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:15,047 Yeah, because yourbody is the one that will take the hit. 52 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,835 ♪ 53 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,972 This is a sensitive conversation, Nick, 54 00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,626 so just let me handle it. 55 00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:31,325 Clem, she's your sister; there's no way I'm getting involved. 56 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:34,589 I'm gonna nod silently and agree with everything you say. 57 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,894 Perfect. 58 00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,766 Shannon? 59 00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,202 'Sup? 60 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,944 You cannot have guys sleep over here! 61 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,773 Nick! 62 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:47,689 And the silent nodding starts now. 63 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,606 Look, I know Nick can be a little old-fashioned, 64 00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,085 but I agree with him. 65 00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,826 I'm not happy that Kyle slept over either. 66 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:58,221 Oh, my God! We didn't even do anything. 67 00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,136 He got drunk and passed out, 68 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,791 so I bought a bunch of stuff on his Amazon account. 69 00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,836 I got you guys a new spatula. 70 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,839 Happy? 71 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,146 Not even a little bit.I mean, we did need a new spatula. 72 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,236 Look, Kyle isn't just some rando. 73 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,890 I actually really like this guy. 74 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,370 He was the first person 75 00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,241 to be nice to me at my new school. 76 00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:20,330 Plus, he's handsome, he's good-looking, 77 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:23,246 and he's, like, really hot. 78 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:26,554 Look, Shannon, I worry about you. 79 00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:27,990 And having guys sleep over, 80 00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,470 it's just asking for trouble. 81 00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:32,168 When my mom had me, she was way too young, 82 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,865 and it ruined her life. 83 00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:36,433 What makes you think that?She told me. 84 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,568 Well, look, I'm not gonna get pregnant, okay? 85 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,178 [laughs]: I'm not an idiot. 86 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,530 Would an idiot be getting almost a "C" in Algebra? 87 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,316 What do you mean "almost"? You're getting a "D" in Algebra? 88 00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,926 Almost. 89 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,625 I'm sorry, but it feels like you guys are having a problem 90 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,279 with everything I do since I moved in. 91 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,020 That's not true. 92 00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,109 I found my favorite eyeliner in your underwear drawer, 93 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,806 and I didn't say a thing. 94 00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,286 You were looking through my drawers? 95 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,418 What? No. 96 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,855 No, that would be-- No. 97 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,335 I was putting away your laundry. 98 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,293 Yeah, you don't put away my laundry. 99 00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:11,599 You leave it on the floor, 100 00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,297 hoping I'll get the message, but I never do. 101 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:18,345 Look, I really appreciate you guys letting me live here. I do. 102 00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:21,130 [chuckles]: But I also need my privacy. 103 00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,306 And I don't think that's such an insane request. 104 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:26,091 Fine. You want privacy? 105 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,964 You promise no more guys sleeping over, 106 00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:32,315 I'll promise no more snooping. Deal? 107 00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:36,014 Fine. You got yourself a deal. 108 00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,454 Oh, my God, no. Dude, of course no one's seen it. 109 00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:41,803 Yeah, it's in my room. 110 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,195 Oh, it's in my drawer. 111 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:44,327 [whispers]: What's in her drawer? 112 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,590 Oh. Hi. 113 00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,636 BOTH: Hi. 114 00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,290 Thought you guys went to work. 115 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,379 Still here. Not yet. 116 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:56,296 Okay. Well... 117 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,298 I'm gonna go to school. Bye. 118 00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,517 Have a good day. 119 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,650 Oh, my God, you have no idea... 120 00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,307 Don't do it, Clem. 121 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,525 Do what, Nick? 122 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:09,961 Snoop in her room. [sighs] 123 00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:11,876 Look, the way I was raised, when you make a deal, 124 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,095 you stick by it. 125 00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,488 So if you want Shannon to respect 126 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,228 the rules, you have to respect them, too. 127 00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:19,014 [sighs] Why do you have to be so damn ethical? 128 00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,059 Oh, come on, you know it gets you all hot 129 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,148 when your boy's all ethical. 130 00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:26,108 You're right, it kind of does.[laughs] 131 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,893 See you tonight. Okay. 132 00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,635 [sighs] 133 00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:39,600 Ah, don't do it. What? 134 00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,166 [chuckles] I wasn't. 135 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,822 [sighs] 136 00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:48,391 You hid a pregnancy test in your room to catch her snooping? 137 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:49,914 Yup. 138 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,569 And the best part is, when Clem finds it, 139 00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,310 it'll prove she broke our deal, 140 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:59,054 which means I can have Kyle sleep over anytime I want. 141 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:02,057 So wait, how'd you get a positive pregnancy test? 142 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,146 Mm. Okay, so first thing I did was I asked 143 00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:06,148 this pregnant girl in my homeroom, right, for some pee... 144 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,977 Mm-hmm....but she was like, "Go away." 145 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,805 BOTH: Rude. 146 00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,197 So then I googled it...Yeah. 147 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,590 ...and, what do you know, 148 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:17,115 pouring Coke on a pregnancy test turns it positive. 149 00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,509 [scoffs] And you're sure your sister's gonna find it? 150 00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:22,643 After the phone call I faked this morning, definitely. 151 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,558 This is such a great idea. 152 00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,342 I might pull it on my stupid stepmom. 153 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,605 Dude, dude, you should get two positive pregnancy tests 154 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,085 for her to find...Yeah. 155 00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:33,654 ...and then she'll think you're having twins. 156 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,485 [sighs]: Oh, dear God. 157 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,143 Okay. 158 00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:49,670 Come on, Shannon. 159 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,367 [sighs] 160 00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,849 [groans] 161 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,376 Oh, God, no. 162 00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:06,687 Please don't be a plus. Please don't be a plus. 163 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,820 Please don't be a plus. 164 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,692 [screaming] 165 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,049 Hey, sweetie. 166 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,659 Ben, thank you so much for coming. 167 00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,966 Nick is teaching, and I didn't know who else to call. 168 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,490 Well, it better be important. I had to get another instructor 169 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:30,101 to cover my SoulCycle class for this. 170 00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:32,452 Do you have any idea how upset people are gonna be 171 00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:35,759 when they walk in and see Michelle? 172 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:38,109 What's wrong with Michelle? 173 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,633 Everything! 174 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,677 [exhales] 175 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,462 So what's going on? 176 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:45,290 My sister is pregnant. 177 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,336 What? 178 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,773 Shannon is pregnant. 179 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:53,255 Girl, I am shocked. 180 00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:56,388 No, I'm not. No, it's actually an incredibly easy buy. 181 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:57,912 Wait, when did she tell you? 182 00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,696 She didn't. I was snooping in her room-- 183 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:02,090 even though I made a deal with her that I wouldn't-- 184 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,527 and I found the pregnancy test in one of her drawers, 185 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,094 and now I don't know what to do. 186 00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:08,400 You know, this whole thing reminds me 187 00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,402 of when my parents found out I was gay. 188 00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,449 Mom was hanging clothes in my closet 189 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,975 and found a DVD of Hung Jury: 12 Man-gry Men. 190 00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:20,238 And then they told you that they knew? 191 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,762 Are you kidding? My parents were amazing. 192 00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,155 They didn't say a thing. They just went out of their way 193 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,636 to let me know that they were there for me, no matter what. 194 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,855 No judgment. 195 00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:30,161 So you're saying that's what I should do 196 00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,424 so that Shannon will tell me about the pregnancy? 197 00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:36,385 Actually, I was just telling a story about myself. 198 00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:40,302 All right, so I am going to make sure that Shannon knows 199 00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:43,218 that I'm there for her, and then wait for her to come to me. 200 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,959 Exactly, and before you know it, 201 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,352 she'll be pulling the pregnancy test out of that drawer, and... 202 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,093 Oh, God. What? 203 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,226 After I found it, 204 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,097 I was walking around my apartment in a daze, 205 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,578 and I think I may have left it on the kitchen counter, 206 00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:58,668 so I need to go home right now before she comes home 207 00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,844 and finds it.Oh. Okay. 208 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,412 So glad we didn't just do this over the phone. 209 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:04,892 I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you. 210 00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,241 Bye. Mwah.Love you. 211 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,557 [sighs] 212 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,482 Oh, my God. 213 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,752 Yeah. 214 00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,409 [doorbell rings] 215 00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,497 Hey, son. 216 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:46,760 What you doing here? 217 00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,589 I, uh, I have some big news. 218 00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,981 You're finally gonna shave that beard 219 00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,070 that makes you look like that genie from Aladdin? 220 00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,072 Oh, Walt. 221 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,726 What's going on, honey? 222 00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:59,511 Guys... Clem's pregnant. 223 00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:02,645 Yes! 224 00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,081 Yes, yes! 225 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:05,953 Yes, yes! 226 00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:09,173 I'm gonna be a grandma! 227 00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,653 I'm happy for you, too, son. 228 00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:14,135 I'm just showing it in a less absolutely insane way. 229 00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:16,398 So, come on, sit, sit, come on, sit. 230 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:19,183 So, how did Clem tell you? 231 00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,881 That's the thing; she hasn't. 232 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,752 She left the pregnancy test on the kitchen counter 233 00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,625 for me to find because I-I think she's afraid to tell me. 234 00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:28,236 Why would she be afraid to tell you that she's gonna have a b... 235 00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:31,239 Baby! 236 00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,896 I actually think she was trying to tell me yesterday 237 00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:38,333 by bringing up us having kids, 238 00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:42,076 but she stopped because I made her feel like I wasn't ready, 239 00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,644 because I'm not.[gasps] Shut your mouth! 240 00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:49,474 I mean, let's discuss 241 00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:52,695 why is it that you feel this way. 242 00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,393 I don't know. You know? 243 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:56,873 The plan was to wait a few years. 244 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,179 And this is all happening so fast. 245 00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,616 I mean, I just signed up for a softball league. 246 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,010 Am I gonna be able to do that? 247 00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,229 Trust me, when it comes to having kids, 248 00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,231 no one is ever truly ready. 249 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,233 And then your baby is born, 250 00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:11,801 and you see that perfect little face, 251 00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,021 and it just fills your heart with joy. 252 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,371 And that feeling never goes away. 253 00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,373 And then they grow up. 254 00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:22,638 And cover that face with a weird beard. 255 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:28,252 Sweetheart, you are ready to have this baby. 256 00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,645 You really think so? 257 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,951 Are you kidding? 258 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,083 You are gonna be a fantastic father. 259 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,912 Absolutely. 260 00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:38,349 You know what, maybe I can do this. 261 00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:40,961 I do have a lot of knowledge to pass on. 262 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,485 Plus, it'd be nice to have a little wingman. 263 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,793 'Cause I'm starting to get a lot of weird looks 264 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,230 when I go to Pixar movies alone. 265 00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:50,492 [phone chimes] 266 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,322 Oh, it's Clem. Oh. 267 00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,106 She wants to talk. Mm-hmm. 268 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,021 You know what, I'm gonna go home and let her know 269 00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,457 that she has nothing to worry about. 270 00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,155 I am ready to be a father. 271 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,243 [laughs] Mm. 272 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,331 Thanks, guys. 273 00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:04,462 Yeah. [laughs]Ooh. 274 00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,116 And I'm ready, too. 275 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,815 I've got a whole closet full of baby clothes, 276 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,034 folded and ready to go. 277 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,558 Mom, you already bought baby clothes? 278 00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:16,344 And pacifiers and a diaper genie and a high chair. 279 00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,650 That is not true, Walt. 280 00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:23,264 Actually, the high chair is still in my Buy Buy Baby cart. 281 00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:28,399 But with one click, your baby can be sitting high! 282 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,662 Mwah.All right. 283 00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:39,889 No judgment. No judgment. 284 00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,195 Hey, Clem. 285 00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,545 There's my favorite sister! 286 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,070 Okay. 287 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,376 Come in. Sit down. 288 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:49,856 Put your feet up. Do you want a snack? 289 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,945 I can get you a snack. 290 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,250 Why are you being so nice to me? 291 00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:56,732 Because I care about you. 292 00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,649 And I support you no matter what. 293 00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:03,130 Thanks, Clem. That's real sweet. 294 00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:07,003 You know what's sweet? Fresh-baked cookies. 295 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,181 Nah, my stomach's blecch. 296 00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,356 Really? 297 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,618 Must have been something I ate. 298 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,839 Or maybe it was something else. 299 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,363 Like what? What else could it possibly be? 300 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:22,845 I don't know. Maybe you're... 301 00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,369 Maybe I'm what? What am I, Clem? 302 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,197 It doesn't matter. 303 00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:30,505 But whatever it is, you can tell me. 304 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,812 Oh, God. Oh, no. 305 00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,162 [coughs] No, I'm gonna puke! 306 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,120 Shannon? Shannon? 307 00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,339 [retching] 308 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,170 Hey, Shannon, are you okay in there? 309 00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,258 Oh, I'm fine. 310 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:48,001 [retching dramatically] 311 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,480 Just give me a minute. 312 00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,265 [retching dramatically] 313 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,921 Oh. Hey, babe. 314 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,445 Good, you're home. We need to talk. 315 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:58,968 I know what you want to talk about. 316 00:13:59,012 --> 00:13:59,969 You do? 317 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,623 I found the pregnancy test, 318 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,755 and-and sure, like, this might be happening a little early... 319 00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:06,758 A little? This is a disaster. 320 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,891 And that's what I thought at first, too, but now... 321 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,588 now I'm really, really happy. 322 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,286 How could you be happy? 323 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,506 We don't even know who the father is. 324 00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:21,034 We don't know who the father is? 325 00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,383 [sighs] 326 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:25,038 Yeah. I mean, it could be Kyle. 327 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,736 How could it be Kyle?! 328 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,565 I don't know, Nick. It could be anyone. 329 00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,741 Excuse me? 330 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,917 Why are you so surprised? 331 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,527 Because I assumed that I was the only person 332 00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,355 you were having sex with! 333 00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,402 What? 334 00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:42,620 No. [chuckles] 335 00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,930 I mean yes. 336 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,889 [chuckles] Yes. 337 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,891 No, sweetie. 338 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,023 Sweetie, I'm not pregnant. 339 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,590 Shannon is pregnant. 340 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,897 So, wait, you're not pregnant? 341 00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,944 Damn. 342 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:05,034 Wait, Shannon's pregnant? Damn! 343 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,950 Yeah, but she doesn't know that I know. 344 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,257 Oh, yes, I do. 345 00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,130 'Cause you snooped, you narc. 346 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:17,481 Who cares that I snooped? You're pregnant. 347 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,573 Oh, my God, you're not pregnant. 348 00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,967 No! 349 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:28,797 That test was a fake to prove you were snooping. 350 00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,495 Damn it, Shannon, 351 00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:34,281 I am so angry and so relieved, 352 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:38,589 and so mad and so happy all at the same time! 353 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:41,636 I'm texting Kyle, because according to our deal, 354 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,377 I get to have him sleep over. 355 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,988 The eggplant emoji? 356 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,338 That's right. 357 00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:51,037 I have no idea what that means, young lady, 358 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,343 but that little punk is not sleeping over, 359 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,780 as gorgeous as he is. 360 00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:58,783 Yeah, I'm sorry, but we had a deal. 361 00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,481 And once you send the eggplant emoji, 362 00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,787 there's, like, no turning back. 363 00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:05,703 Yeah, well, screw the deal. 364 00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,314 This is ourhouse. 365 00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:08,880 And, yes, you can leave whenever you want, 366 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,708 but as long as you're here under this roof, 367 00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:12,145 what we say goes. 368 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,279 Hypocrites. 369 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,415 [door slams] 370 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,025 Babe, I just, I have one question. 371 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:26,289 Yes, the eggplant is a penis. 372 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,946 Well, then that means I've been flirting 373 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,601 with my vegan coworker Steven. 374 00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,607 [sighs] 375 00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:43,002 Shannon? 376 00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,705 Can you take your headphones off so that you can hear me? 377 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:54,491 Sorry, I can't hear you. I'm wearing headphones. 378 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,058 Shannon. 379 00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,453 What? 380 00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,933 I'm sorry that I broke the deal. Okay? 381 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,632 But I never should have made it in the first place. 382 00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,199 I'm new to this whole parenting thing, 383 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,809 and I don't really know what I'm doing. 384 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,725 But all I know is that I'm responsible for you. 385 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,466 Yeah, and it's driving me crazy. 386 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,337 Maybe I should just move back in with Dad, 387 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,687 and go back to my old school, where the pregnant girls 388 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:19,386 are nice and share their pee. 389 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:22,041 You just want to go back to Dad's 390 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,868 because he lets you do whatever you want. 391 00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,219 Hey, now you're catching on. 392 00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,830 Well, that's not me. 393 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,223 And while you're here, 394 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,051 you don't get to do whatever you want. 395 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,009 Because I'm watching out for you, Shannon, 396 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,664 which is something that Dad never did for either of us. 397 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:39,232 Yeah, well, maybe that's what I want. 398 00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,234 Maybe it is. 399 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,410 But just know that-- 400 00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,412 Dad wasn't good at saying this to us, 401 00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,110 but... I love you. 402 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,851 I do. 403 00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,635 A lot. 404 00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:55,552 So just think about that before you decide to go. 405 00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,948 [sighs] 406 00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,651 [door closes] 407 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,219 So, how'd it go? 408 00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,829 Terrible. 409 00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:14,528 I think she's gonna go back to my Dad's. 410 00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,007 Sorry, babe. 411 00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,879 Yeah, me, too. 412 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,925 But, hey, you should be happy that we're not having a kid 413 00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,537 because I completely suck at this. 414 00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:25,930 How dare you?! 415 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,280 What? What did I do? 416 00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,760 You just had to pull out the big guns, didn't you? 417 00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:32,502 Telling me you loveme. 418 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,462 You're sick, you know that? 419 00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:37,290 Sick! 420 00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,857 So you're staying? 421 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,381 Like I have a choice now. 422 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,166 "I love you." Who says these things?! 423 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,212 I do. 424 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,170 I do, too. 425 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,346 Okay, whatever. 426 00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:02,837 [retches] 427 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,365 Wait, am I good at this? 428 00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,933 Am I, like, reallygood at this? 429 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,935 Girl, you are fantastic! 430 00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:17,939 [knock on door] 431 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,160 Hey, I'm here to see Shannon. 432 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,857 Sorry, man, not happening. 433 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,728 Bro, I don't think you understand, okay? 434 00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,730 She sent me the eggplant emoji. 435 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,124 It's basically the Bat-Signal. 436 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,865 If you don't leave right now, 437 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,910 I'm gonna send you the cut-up cucumber emoji. 438 00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,912 Buh-bye. 439 00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:37,263 [singing] 440 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,006 That was awesome. 441 00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,139 I cannot wait to make a baby with you. 442 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,488 Mm. 443 00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:48,056 But not for, like, five to seven years, right? 444 00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:49,188 Minimum. Mm. 445 00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,674 Okay, so let me get this straight. 446 00:19:57,718 --> 00:20:01,112 You're telling me that no one is pregnant. 447 00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,245 Nope. Just Kimmie from my homeroom. 448 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:07,249 But no one in this room is, if that's what you're asking. 449 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:10,992 So, sweetheart, gonna bring out that apple pie? 450 00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:12,428 Oh, that is why we are here. 451 00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,213 It's my favorite thing that she makes. 452 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,780 Oh, really? No pie for you. 453 00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,044 But I was looking forward to that. 454 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:22,177 Oh, did you get your hopes up for something, 455 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,571 just to have them cruelly dashed? 456 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,268 'Cause I did! 457 00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:28,227 Excuse me. 458 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,186 Mom, are you serious?ROSE: I'm serious! 459 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,319 Captioning sponsored by CBS 460 00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:41,370 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 461 00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:45,970 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32350

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