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1
00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:07,050
Hey.Oh, hey.
2
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:11,924
Forgive me if this comes off as
rude, but who the hell are you?
3
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:14,231
I'm Kyle. I go to school
with Shannon.
4
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:15,537
Did you sleep here?
5
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,843
Yeah. Want some eggs?
6
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:22,805
Hey, babe,
I was thinking...
7
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,592
What is that?
8
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:30,465
That is a Kyle.
It spent the night.
9
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,035
It spent the night?
10
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,124
Want some eggs?
11
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,431
Nobody wants your
runny-ass eggs, man.
12
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,869
Morning. Oh, hey, Kyle.
13
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,610
What are you
still doing here?
14
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,090
Thought you left.
15
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,527
I got hungry.
I made you some eggs.Aw.
16
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,964
I'll see you
at school tomorrow.
17
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,140
Bye.
18
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,098
Bye.
19
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,057
How cute is he?!
20
00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,278
He made me eggs!
He made me eggs!
21
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,063
He made me eggs!
22
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,240
I don't care how cute he is--
23
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,243
and the boy is cute-- she
cannot have guys sleep over.
24
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:12,072
I know, but I can't
just tell her that.
25
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,551
Why not?
For one,
26
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:16,728
when I was her age,
I had guys sleep over
27
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:19,601
all... occasionally.
28
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,647
The problem is
29
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,954
I can't tell Shannon what to do
because I'm her sister,
30
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,564
not her mom.
31
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,349
But your sister
is living with us,
32
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,352
and if she's gonna stay here,
she has to play by our rules.
33
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:32,831
Yeah, but she doesn't
have to stay here.
34
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,485
If we're too strict with her,
35
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:37,140
she might move out and go back
to my dad's or God knows where.
36
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,969
Which we...
Don't want.
37
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,145
Don't want.
38
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,886
But we do have to talk to her.
39
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,670
Absolutely. [sighs]
40
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:48,804
But look on the bright side:
after living with my sister,
41
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,023
our kids are gonna
seem like a breeze.
42
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,461
Our kids? We can barely
deal with Shannon.
43
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,593
Th-There's no way I can imagine
kids of our own.
44
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:56,986
Okay, Nick, I got it.
45
00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,683
I'm just saying. Look,
46
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,598
we'll have kids
in a few years. Right?
47
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:01,904
After Shannon
goes to college,
48
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,689
or... jail.
49
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,213
Besides,
50
00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:10,391
I am too young for this
to turn into a dad bod.
51
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:15,047
Yeah, because yourbody is
the one that will take the hit.
52
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,835
♪
53
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,972
This is a sensitive
conversation, Nick,
54
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,626
so just let me handle it.
55
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:31,325
Clem, she's your sister; there's
no way I'm getting involved.
56
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:34,589
I'm gonna nod silently and agree
with everything you say.
57
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,894
Perfect.
58
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,766
Shannon?
59
00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,202
'Sup?
60
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,944
You cannot have guys
sleep over here!
61
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,773
Nick!
62
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:47,689
And the silent nodding
starts now.
63
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,606
Look, I know Nick can be
a little old-fashioned,
64
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,085
but I agree with him.
65
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,826
I'm not happy that Kyle
slept over either.
66
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:58,221
Oh, my God!
We didn't even do anything.
67
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,136
He got drunk
and passed out,
68
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,791
so I bought a bunch of stuff
on his Amazon account.
69
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,836
I got you guys a new spatula.
70
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,839
Happy?
71
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,146
Not even a little bit.I mean, we did
need a new spatula.
72
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,236
Look, Kyle isn't just
some rando.
73
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,890
I actually really like this guy.
74
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,370
He was the first person
75
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,241
to be nice to me
at my new school.
76
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:20,330
Plus, he's handsome,
he's good-looking,
77
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:23,246
and he's, like, really hot.
78
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:26,554
Look, Shannon,
I worry about you.
79
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:27,990
And having guys sleep over,
80
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,470
it's just asking
for trouble.
81
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:32,168
When my mom had me,
she was way too young,
82
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,865
and it ruined her life.
83
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:36,433
What makes you think that?She told me.
84
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,568
Well, look, I'm not gonna
get pregnant, okay?
85
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,178
[laughs]:
I'm not an idiot.
86
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,530
Would an idiot be getting
almost a "C" in Algebra?
87
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,316
What do you mean "almost"?
You're getting a "D" in Algebra?
88
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,926
Almost.
89
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,625
I'm sorry, but it feels like
you guys are having a problem
90
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,279
with everything I do
since I moved in.
91
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,020
That's not true.
92
00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,109
I found my favorite eyeliner
in your underwear drawer,
93
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,806
and I didn't say a thing.
94
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,286
You were looking
through my drawers?
95
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,418
What? No.
96
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,855
No, that would be-- No.
97
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,335
I was putting away your laundry.
98
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,293
Yeah, you don't
put away my laundry.
99
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:11,599
You leave it on the floor,
100
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,297
hoping I'll get the message,
but I never do.
101
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:18,345
Look, I really appreciate you
guys letting me live here. I do.
102
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:21,130
[chuckles]:
But I also need my privacy.
103
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,306
And I don't think
that's such an insane request.
104
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:26,091
Fine. You want privacy?
105
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,964
You promise no more guys
sleeping over,
106
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:32,315
I'll promise
no more snooping. Deal?
107
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:36,014
Fine. You got yourself a deal.
108
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,454
Oh, my God, no. Dude,
of course no one's seen it.
109
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:41,803
Yeah, it's
in my room.
110
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,195
Oh, it's in my drawer.
111
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:44,327
[whispers]:
What's in her drawer?
112
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,590
Oh. Hi.
113
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,636
BOTH:
Hi.
114
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,290
Thought you guys went to work.
115
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,379
Still here.
Not yet.
116
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:56,296
Okay. Well...
117
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,298
I'm gonna go to school. Bye.
118
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,517
Have a good day.
119
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,650
Oh, my God,
you have no idea...
120
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,307
Don't do it, Clem.
121
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,525
Do what, Nick?
122
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:09,961
Snoop in her room.
[sighs]
123
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:11,876
Look, the way I was raised,
when you make a deal,
124
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,095
you stick by it.
125
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,488
So if you want
Shannon to respect
126
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,228
the rules, you have to
respect them, too.
127
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:19,014
[sighs] Why do you have to be
so damn ethical?
128
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,059
Oh, come on, you know
it gets you all hot
129
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,148
when your boy's
all ethical.
130
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:26,108
You're right, it kind of does.[laughs]
131
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,893
See you tonight.
Okay.
132
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,635
[sighs]
133
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:39,600
Ah, don't do it.
What?
134
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,166
[chuckles] I wasn't.
135
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,822
[sighs]
136
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:48,391
You hid a pregnancy test in
your room to catch her snooping?
137
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:49,914
Yup.
138
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,569
And the best part is,
when Clem finds it,
139
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,310
it'll prove she broke our deal,
140
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:59,054
which means I can have Kyle
sleep over anytime I want.
141
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:02,057
So wait, how'd you get
a positive pregnancy test?
142
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,146
Mm. Okay, so first thing
I did was I asked
143
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:06,148
this pregnant girl in my
homeroom, right, for some pee...
144
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,977
Mm-hmm....but she was like, "Go away."
145
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,805
BOTH:
Rude.
146
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,197
So then I googled it...Yeah.
147
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,590
...and, what do you know,
148
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:17,115
pouring Coke on a pregnancy test
turns it positive.
149
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,509
[scoffs] And you're sure
your sister's gonna find it?
150
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:22,643
After the phone call I faked
this morning, definitely.
151
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,558
This is such a great idea.
152
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,342
I might pull it
on my stupid stepmom.
153
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,605
Dude, dude, you should get
two positive pregnancy tests
154
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,085
for her to find...Yeah.
155
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:33,654
...and then she'll think
you're having twins.
156
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,485
[sighs]:
Oh, dear God.
157
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,143
Okay.
158
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:49,670
Come on, Shannon.
159
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,367
[sighs]
160
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,849
[groans]
161
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,376
Oh, God, no.
162
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:06,687
Please don't be a plus.
Please don't be a plus.
163
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,820
Please don't be a plus.
164
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,692
[screaming]
165
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,049
Hey, sweetie.
166
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,659
Ben, thank you
so much for coming.
167
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,966
Nick is teaching, and I didn't
know who else to call.
168
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,490
Well, it better be important.
I had to get another instructor
169
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:30,101
to cover my SoulCycle
class for this.
170
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:32,452
Do you have any idea how
upset people are gonna be
171
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:35,759
when they walk in
and see Michelle?
172
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:38,109
What's wrong with Michelle?
173
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,633
Everything!
174
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,677
[exhales]
175
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,462
So what's going on?
176
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:45,290
My sister is pregnant.
177
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,336
What?
178
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,773
Shannon is pregnant.
179
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:53,255
Girl, I am shocked.
180
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:56,388
No, I'm not. No, it's actually
an incredibly easy buy.
181
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:57,912
Wait, when did
she tell you?
182
00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,696
She didn't.
I was snooping in her room--
183
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:02,090
even though I made a deal
with her that I wouldn't--
184
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,527
and I found the pregnancy test
in one of her drawers,
185
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,094
and now I don't know what to do.
186
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:08,400
You know, this whole
thing reminds me
187
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,402
of when my parents
found out I was gay.
188
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,449
Mom was hanging
clothes in my closet
189
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,975
and found a DVD of
Hung Jury: 12 Man-gry Men.
190
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:20,238
And then they told you
that they knew?
191
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,762
Are you kidding?
My parents were amazing.
192
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,155
They didn't say a thing.
They just went out of their way
193
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,636
to let me know that they were
there for me, no matter what.
194
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,855
No judgment.
195
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:30,161
So you're saying
that's what I should do
196
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,424
so that Shannon will tell me
about the pregnancy?
197
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:36,385
Actually, I was just telling
a story about myself.
198
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:40,302
All right, so I am going
to make sure that Shannon knows
199
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:43,218
that I'm there for her, and then
wait for her to come to me.
200
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,959
Exactly, and
before you know it,
201
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,352
she'll be pulling the pregnancy
test out of that drawer, and...
202
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,093
Oh, God.
What?
203
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,226
After I found it,
204
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,097
I was walking around
my apartment in a daze,
205
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,578
and I think I may have left it
on the kitchen counter,
206
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:58,668
so I need to go home right now
before she comes home
207
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,844
and finds it.Oh. Okay.
208
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,412
So glad we didn't just
do this over the phone.
209
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:04,892
I'm sorry. I love you.
Thank you.
210
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,241
Bye. Mwah.Love you.
211
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,557
[sighs]
212
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,482
Oh, my God.
213
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,752
Yeah.
214
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,409
[doorbell rings]
215
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,497
Hey, son.
216
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:46,760
What you doing here?
217
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,589
I, uh, I have some big news.
218
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,981
You're finally gonna
shave that beard
219
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,070
that makes you look like
that genie from Aladdin?
220
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,072
Oh, Walt.
221
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,726
What's going on, honey?
222
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:59,511
Guys... Clem's pregnant.
223
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:02,645
Yes!
224
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,081
Yes, yes!
225
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:05,953
Yes, yes!
226
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:09,173
I'm gonna be a grandma!
227
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,653
I'm happy for you,
too, son.
228
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:14,135
I'm just showing it in
a less absolutely insane way.
229
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:16,398
So, come on, sit,
sit, come on, sit.
230
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:19,183
So, how did
Clem tell you?
231
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,881
That's the thing; she hasn't.
232
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,752
She left the pregnancy test
on the kitchen counter
233
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,625
for me to find because I-I think
she's afraid to tell me.
234
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:28,236
Why would she be afraid to tell
you that she's gonna have a b...
235
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:31,239
Baby!
236
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,896
I actually think she was
trying to tell me yesterday
237
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:38,333
by bringing up
us having kids,
238
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:42,076
but she stopped because I made
her feel like I wasn't ready,
239
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,644
because I'm not.[gasps] Shut your mouth!
240
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:49,474
I mean, let's discuss
241
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:52,695
why is it
that you feel this way.
242
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,393
I don't know.
You know?
243
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:56,873
The plan was to
wait a few years.
244
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,179
And this is all
happening so fast.
245
00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,616
I mean, I just signed up
for a softball league.
246
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,010
Am I gonna be able
to do that?
247
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,229
Trust me, when it comes
to having kids,
248
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,231
no one is ever truly ready.
249
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,233
And then your baby is born,
250
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:11,801
and you see
that perfect little face,
251
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,021
and it just fills
your heart with joy.
252
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,371
And that feeling
never goes away.
253
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,373
And then they grow up.
254
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:22,638
And cover that face
with a weird beard.
255
00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:28,252
Sweetheart, you are ready
to have this baby.
256
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,645
You really think so?
257
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,951
Are you kidding?
258
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,083
You are gonna be
a fantastic father.
259
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,912
Absolutely.
260
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:38,349
You know what,
maybe I can do this.
261
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:40,961
I do have a lot of knowledge
to pass on.
262
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,485
Plus, it'd be nice to
have a little wingman.
263
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,793
'Cause I'm starting to get
a lot of weird looks
264
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,230
when I go to
Pixar movies alone.
265
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:50,492
[phone chimes]
266
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,322
Oh, it's Clem.
Oh.
267
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,106
She wants to talk.
Mm-hmm.
268
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,021
You know what, I'm gonna
go home and let her know
269
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,457
that she has nothing
to worry about.
270
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,155
I am ready to be a father.
271
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,243
[laughs]
Mm.
272
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,331
Thanks, guys.
273
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:04,462
Yeah. [laughs]Ooh.
274
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,116
And I'm ready, too.
275
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,815
I've got a whole closet
full of baby clothes,
276
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,034
folded and ready to go.
277
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,558
Mom, you already
bought baby clothes?
278
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:16,344
And pacifiers and a diaper genie
and a high chair.
279
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,650
That is not true, Walt.
280
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:23,264
Actually, the high chair is
still in my Buy Buy Baby cart.
281
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:28,399
But with one click,
your baby can be sitting high!
282
00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,662
Mwah.All right.
283
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:39,889
No judgment.
No judgment.
284
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,195
Hey, Clem.
285
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,545
There's my favorite sister!
286
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,070
Okay.
287
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,376
Come in. Sit down.
288
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:49,856
Put your feet up.
Do you want a snack?
289
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,945
I can get you a snack.
290
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,250
Why are you being so nice to me?
291
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:56,732
Because I care about you.
292
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,649
And I support you
no matter what.
293
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:03,130
Thanks, Clem.
That's real sweet.
294
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:07,003
You know what's sweet?
Fresh-baked cookies.
295
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,181
Nah, my stomach's blecch.
296
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,356
Really?
297
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,618
Must have been something I ate.
298
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,839
Or maybe it was something else.
299
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,363
Like what?
What else could it possibly be?
300
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:22,845
I don't know.
Maybe you're...
301
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,369
Maybe I'm what?
What am I, Clem?
302
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,197
It doesn't matter.
303
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:30,505
But whatever it is,
you can tell me.
304
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,812
Oh, God. Oh, no.
305
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,162
[coughs]
No, I'm gonna puke!
306
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,120
Shannon?
Shannon?
307
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,339
[retching]
308
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,170
Hey, Shannon,
are you okay in there?
309
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,258
Oh, I'm fine.
310
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:48,001
[retching dramatically]
311
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,480
Just give me a minute.
312
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,265
[retching dramatically]
313
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,921
Oh.
Hey, babe.
314
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,445
Good, you're home.
We need to talk.
315
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:58,968
I know what you want
to talk about.
316
00:13:59,012 --> 00:13:59,969
You do?
317
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,623
I found the pregnancy test,
318
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,755
and-and sure, like, this might
be happening a little early...
319
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:06,758
A little?
This is a disaster.
320
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,891
And that's what I thought
at first, too, but now...
321
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,588
now I'm really, really happy.
322
00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,286
How could you be happy?
323
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,506
We don't even know
who the father is.
324
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:21,034
We don't know who the father is?
325
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,383
[sighs]
326
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:25,038
Yeah. I mean, it could be Kyle.
327
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,736
How could it be Kyle?!
328
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,565
I don't know, Nick.
It could be anyone.
329
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,741
Excuse me?
330
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,917
Why are you so surprised?
331
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,527
Because I assumed
that I was the only person
332
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,355
you were having sex with!
333
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,402
What?
334
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:42,620
No. [chuckles]
335
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,930
I mean yes.
336
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,889
[chuckles] Yes.
337
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,891
No, sweetie.
338
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,023
Sweetie, I'm not pregnant.
339
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,590
Shannon is pregnant.
340
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,897
So, wait, you're not pregnant?
341
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,944
Damn.
342
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:05,034
Wait, Shannon's pregnant? Damn!
343
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,950
Yeah, but she doesn't know
that I know.
344
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,257
Oh, yes, I do.
345
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,130
'Cause you snooped, you narc.
346
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:17,481
Who cares that I snooped?
You're pregnant.
347
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,573
Oh, my God, you're not pregnant.
348
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,967
No!
349
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:28,797
That test was a fake
to prove you were snooping.
350
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,495
Damn it, Shannon,
351
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:34,281
I am so angry and so relieved,
352
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:38,589
and so mad and so happy
all at the same time!
353
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:41,636
I'm texting Kyle,
because according to our deal,
354
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,377
I get to have him sleep over.
355
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,988
The eggplant emoji?
356
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,338
That's right.
357
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:51,037
I have no idea what
that means, young lady,
358
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,343
but that little punk
is not sleeping over,
359
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,780
as gorgeous as he is.
360
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:58,783
Yeah, I'm sorry,
but we had a deal.
361
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,481
And once you send
the eggplant emoji,
362
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,787
there's, like,
no turning back.
363
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:05,703
Yeah, well, screw the deal.
364
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,314
This is ourhouse.
365
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:08,880
And, yes, you can leave
whenever you want,
366
00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,708
but as long as you're here
under this roof,
367
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:12,145
what we say goes.
368
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,279
Hypocrites.
369
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,415
[door slams]
370
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,025
Babe, I just,
I have one question.
371
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:26,289
Yes, the eggplant is a penis.
372
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,946
Well, then that means
I've been flirting
373
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,601
with my vegan
coworker Steven.
374
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,607
[sighs]
375
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:43,002
Shannon?
376
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,705
Can you take your headphones off
so that you can hear me?
377
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:54,491
Sorry, I can't hear you.
I'm wearing headphones.
378
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,058
Shannon.
379
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,453
What?
380
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,933
I'm sorry that I
broke the deal. Okay?
381
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,632
But I never should have
made it in the first place.
382
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,199
I'm new to this whole
parenting thing,
383
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,809
and I don't really know
what I'm doing.
384
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,725
But all I know is that
I'm responsible for you.
385
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,466
Yeah, and it's driving me crazy.
386
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,337
Maybe I should just
move back in with Dad,
387
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,687
and go back to my old school,
where the pregnant girls
388
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:19,386
are nice and share their pee.
389
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:22,041
You just want
to go back to Dad's
390
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,868
because he lets you do
whatever you want.
391
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,219
Hey, now you're catching on.
392
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,830
Well, that's not me.
393
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,223
And while you're here,
394
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,051
you don't get to do
whatever you want.
395
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,009
Because I'm watching out
for you, Shannon,
396
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,664
which is something that Dad
never did for either of us.
397
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:39,232
Yeah, well, maybe
that's what I want.
398
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,234
Maybe it is.
399
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,410
But just know that--
400
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,412
Dad wasn't good at
saying this to us,
401
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,110
but... I love you.
402
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,851
I do.
403
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,635
A lot.
404
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:55,552
So just think about that
before you decide to go.
405
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,948
[sighs]
406
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,651
[door closes]
407
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,219
So, how'd it go?
408
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,829
Terrible.
409
00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:14,528
I think she's gonna
go back to my Dad's.
410
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,007
Sorry, babe.
411
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,879
Yeah, me, too.
412
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,925
But, hey, you should be happy
that we're not having a kid
413
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,537
because I completely
suck at this.
414
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:25,930
How dare you?!
415
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,280
What? What did I do?
416
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,760
You just had to pull out
the big guns, didn't you?
417
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:32,502
Telling me you loveme.
418
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,462
You're sick, you know that?
419
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:37,290
Sick!
420
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,857
So you're staying?
421
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,381
Like I have a choice now.
422
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,166
"I love you."
Who says these things?!
423
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,212
I do.
424
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,170
I do, too.
425
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,346
Okay, whatever.
426
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:02,837
[retches]
427
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,365
Wait, am I good at this?
428
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,933
Am I, like, reallygood at this?
429
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,935
Girl, you are fantastic!
430
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:17,939
[knock on door]
431
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,160
Hey, I'm here to see Shannon.
432
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,857
Sorry, man, not happening.
433
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,728
Bro, I don't think
you understand, okay?
434
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,730
She sent me
the eggplant emoji.
435
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,124
It's basically the Bat-Signal.
436
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,865
If you don't leave right now,
437
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,910
I'm gonna send you
the cut-up cucumber emoji.
438
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,912
Buh-bye.
439
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:37,263
[singing]
440
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,006
That was awesome.
441
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,139
I cannot wait
to make a baby with you.
442
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,488
Mm.
443
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:48,056
But not for, like,
five to seven years, right?
444
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:49,188
Minimum.
Mm.
445
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,674
Okay, so let me
get this straight.
446
00:19:57,718 --> 00:20:01,112
You're telling me
that no one is pregnant.
447
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,245
Nope. Just Kimmie
from my homeroom.
448
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:07,249
But no one in this room is,
if that's what you're asking.
449
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:10,992
So, sweetheart,
gonna bring out that apple pie?
450
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:12,428
Oh, that is why
we are here.
451
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,213
It's my favorite thing
that she makes.
452
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,780
Oh, really?
No pie for you.
453
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,044
But I was looking
forward to that.
454
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:22,177
Oh, did you get
your hopes up for something,
455
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,571
just to have them
cruelly dashed?
456
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,268
'Cause I did!
457
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:28,227
Excuse me.
458
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,186
Mom, are you serious?ROSE: I'm serious!
459
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,319
Captioning sponsored by
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460
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461
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