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Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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Oh-oh!
3
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Whatever happened with you and your ex?
4
00:00:06,830 --> 00:00:08,062
Ex?
5
00:00:12,266 --> 00:00:14,062
Oh, Greg, I'm sorry.
6
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- Do you love her?
- No.
7
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You forgive me?
8
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Of course, I forgive you, Joshy.
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Love doesn't work out for me, ever.
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Dr. Akopian: So you are unhappy.
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00:00:25,512 --> 00:00:28,092
Yeah. Duh.
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Dr. Akopian: Maybe it's time you
see what else is in your life,
13
00:00:30,735 --> 00:00:32,265
besides Josh Chan.
14
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:34,578
Oh, my gosh, you have changed my life,
15
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Dr. Dream Ghost Akopian.
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You made me see past
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00:00:38,494 --> 00:00:40,093
all of my delusions that
were holding me back.
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Josh, you don't understand?
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00:00:41,906 --> 00:00:43,598
You don't see what this has
20
00:00:43,623 --> 00:00:45,328
all been about for Rebecca?
21
00:00:46,103 --> 00:00:47,501
Josh: Rebecca,
22
00:00:47,956 --> 00:00:50,023
are you in love with me?
23
00:00:51,586 --> 00:00:54,387
I was working hard
at a New York job
24
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Making dough but it made me blue
25
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One day I was crying a lot
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00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:58,991
And so I decided to move
27
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,626
To West Covina, California
28
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:01,860
Brand-new pals and new career
29
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,196
It happens to be where Josh lives
30
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,565
But that's not why I'm here
31
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,734
-
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
- What? No, I'm not.
32
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,602
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
33
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That's a sexist term.
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00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,238
She's the crazy ex-girlfriend
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Can you guys stop
singing for just a second?
36
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:16,975
She's so broken inside
37
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The situation's a lot
more nuanced than that.
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00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:20,545
C-R-A-Z-Y
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00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:21,913
Okay! We get it!
40
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-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
41
00:01:28,852 --> 00:01:30,919
Why do you have all these photos?
42
00:01:31,782 --> 00:01:33,547
Yep, okay, so here's what happened.
43
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I had...
44
00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:37,914
have...
45
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,306
had feelings for you, indeed, yes.
46
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,999
God, this is awkward, um,
47
00:01:45,797 --> 00:01:47,835
I came here to tell you that Valencia...
48
00:01:47,837 --> 00:01:49,104
Valencia and you are staying together.
49
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:50,430
- No... I-I-I I gathered.
- Yeah.
50
00:01:50,455 --> 00:01:51,854
I get it and that makes sense, yeah.
51
00:01:52,274 --> 00:01:54,642
Josh, I'm actually
very glad you're here,
52
00:01:54,644 --> 00:01:58,032
because, um, I realized some
things on my recent trip.
53
00:01:58,057 --> 00:01:59,981
And, um, one of the things I realized
54
00:01:59,983 --> 00:02:01,716
is that I need to break my old patterns.
55
00:02:01,718 --> 00:02:03,016
Okay.
56
00:02:03,041 --> 00:02:04,808
Yes, uh, starting with...
57
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:10,067
(sighs) I've been horrible to
Valencia, like, really horrible,
58
00:02:10,092 --> 00:02:12,659
and I really want to reach out to her.
59
00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:15,129
- I really wouldn't.
- I really think I should.
60
00:02:15,131 --> 00:02:18,232
She really hates your
guts. Understandable,
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00:02:18,234 --> 00:02:21,135
and I will just have to transcend that.
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00:02:23,030 --> 00:02:27,732
I am trying to break free of
anything unhealthy or damaging.
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00:02:29,166 --> 00:02:32,868
So, um, that starts
with, uh, trashing these.
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00:02:33,649 --> 00:02:34,860
Unless you want them.
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00:02:34,885 --> 00:02:37,493
- (both laugh)
- No, no, that's okay.
66
00:02:37,518 --> 00:02:39,117
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
67
00:02:39,142 --> 00:02:41,860
Although, um, you know, some
of those are great angles
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00:02:41,885 --> 00:02:44,922
that you can't get
with a selfie, so, uh...
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00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,746
- Sure, yeah, yes.
- Yeah.
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00:02:46,771 --> 00:02:47,969
Thanks.
71
00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:49,383
Okay, well, there it is.
72
00:02:49,408 --> 00:02:51,230
That's the last of the Josh Chan stuff.
73
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:52,865
There was stuff?
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00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,032
No.
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00:02:56,371 --> 00:02:58,250
Well, I guess I should go.
76
00:02:58,275 --> 00:02:59,976
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course, get out.
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00:03:00,001 --> 00:03:02,649
- Get out of here.
- (laughs) Yeah, yeah.
78
00:03:03,943 --> 00:03:05,360
Bye, Josh.
79
00:03:12,699 --> 00:03:14,204
(sighing)
80
00:03:23,157 --> 00:03:25,679
Can I get another beer?
I'm trying to study.
81
00:03:25,899 --> 00:03:29,172
Studying and drinking at
the same time: good decision.
82
00:03:29,197 --> 00:03:30,530
I know, right?
83
00:03:30,555 --> 00:03:33,154
It's easy. It's extension school.
84
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:35,707
I-I don't like to tell
a lot of people this,
85
00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:37,675
but I got into Emory Business School.
86
00:03:37,677 --> 00:03:39,110
It's a pretty good school.
87
00:03:39,112 --> 00:03:40,860
They call it like the
Harvard of the South.
88
00:03:40,885 --> 00:03:42,883
I thought the Harvard of
the South was Vanderbilt.
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00:03:42,908 --> 00:03:46,275
No. No. No.
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00:03:46,461 --> 00:03:51,000
Yeah, so I got into school,
and then my dad got sick,
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00:03:51,025 --> 00:03:53,901
so now I'm working my
way through school here.
92
00:03:54,086 --> 00:03:56,059
You know? I can't be slinging
93
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:59,141
drinks to losers until
I'm like 60 years old.
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00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,457
(scoffs)
95
00:04:05,534 --> 00:04:08,289
Oh, boy, look at this. Just what I need.
96
00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:12,289
- Hi.
- Hey.
97
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,798
I thought you drank at Home Base.
98
00:04:15,414 --> 00:04:19,297
I drink anywhere, but I
do my study-drinking here.
99
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:20,853
Got it.
100
00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:22,250
Can I pull up a stool next to you,
101
00:04:22,275 --> 00:04:24,063
or do you want to... be alone?
102
00:04:24,088 --> 00:04:25,758
I could go home and
drink some mouthwash.
103
00:04:25,783 --> 00:04:27,290
Mouthwash, wow.
104
00:04:27,292 --> 00:04:29,225
That's almost as sad as a girl coming to
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00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,579
a strange bar by herself.
106
00:04:30,894 --> 00:04:34,095
Sad says the man with
an open textbook...
107
00:04:34,532 --> 00:04:36,543
next to an open container.
108
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,400
This is fun. I like this.
109
00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,493
Do you want to hang out for
a while and insult each other?
110
00:04:40,518 --> 00:04:42,774
Ah, what would your
girlfriend think about that?
111
00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:45,934
Um, Heather? Uh, yeah,
no, we're done-zo.
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00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,309
(blows raspberry)
113
00:04:47,311 --> 00:04:49,145
Oh, wow. I had no idea.
114
00:04:49,147 --> 00:04:50,407
Can I get you a drink?
115
00:04:50,511 --> 00:04:53,292
Nothing goes better with a
fine lager than a little snark.
116
00:04:53,317 --> 00:04:54,783
Wait. Go back to the Heather thing.
117
00:04:54,785 --> 00:04:56,451
Are you okay? Let's-let-let's talk.
118
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:59,039
Talk is not on the bar menu,
119
00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:00,264
but we could ask.
120
00:05:00,572 --> 00:05:02,688
Okay, so, yeah, here's the thing.
121
00:05:03,313 --> 00:05:06,038
Old me would have been totally down
122
00:05:06,063 --> 00:05:08,029
for, like, an old-fashioned barb fest,
123
00:05:08,031 --> 00:05:09,598
but I've decided recently
124
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,233
that I'm trying to change my patterns.
125
00:05:13,284 --> 00:05:15,329
So I'm gonna go.
126
00:05:16,639 --> 00:05:18,539
No, come on. Come on.
127
00:05:18,541 --> 00:05:20,054
I'm a glutton for punishment.
128
00:05:20,079 --> 00:05:21,985
Stay. Let's do this.
129
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,475
We can make bad decisions together.
130
00:05:23,942 --> 00:05:26,360
We could run in traffic.
131
00:05:27,571 --> 00:05:29,583
No? Okay.
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00:05:29,585 --> 00:05:31,883
Boy, she really digs you.
133
00:05:31,908 --> 00:05:33,275
She's in love with someone else,
134
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:36,034
but I figure ten, 11 years of me trying,
135
00:05:36,059 --> 00:05:37,525
I'm a lock.
136
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,071
Okay, what is happening?
137
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,035
Why are you throwing
out all this Josh stuff?
138
00:05:48,037 --> 00:05:49,903
I told you, I've gone
cold turkey on the Chan.
139
00:05:49,905 --> 00:05:52,399
I'm done. It's not good
for me, and you know that.
140
00:05:52,808 --> 00:05:55,579
D... oh, G... you have to
keep the macaroni portrait.
141
00:05:55,604 --> 00:05:56,750
That took two weeks.
142
00:05:56,775 --> 00:05:58,985
No, no, Paula, I'm
breaking my old patterns.
143
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,209
Break old pat... I...
What does that even mean?
144
00:06:01,234 --> 00:06:03,034
Did you go to a bumper sticker store?
145
00:06:03,059 --> 00:06:05,891
No, I just realized a lot of
things on my trip to New York,
146
00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:08,555
while I was in a bumper sticker store.
147
00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:10,623
Okay, but you're right
about this, actually,
148
00:06:10,625 --> 00:06:12,325
it has a lot of dry goods on it,
149
00:06:12,327 --> 00:06:13,593
it actually could be useful
for my earthquake kit,
150
00:06:13,595 --> 00:06:14,894
- so I will keep this.
- That's my girl.
151
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,399
But everything else goes in the trash.
152
00:06:16,697 --> 00:06:18,704
- Hmm, hmm.
- Oh, come on.
153
00:06:18,729 --> 00:06:22,336
(gasps) Not Channy bear. I forbid it.
154
00:06:23,803 --> 00:06:25,269
Fine, maybe I'll just put Channy bear
155
00:06:25,294 --> 00:06:29,352
on a high shelf in case
of a... bear-mergency.
156
00:06:30,219 --> 00:06:31,944
But the rest of this is going, bye.
157
00:06:31,946 --> 00:06:33,111
- Oh, come on...
- Bye, letters to Josh.
158
00:06:33,113 --> 00:06:34,380
First drafts, second drafts.
159
00:06:34,382 --> 00:06:35,614
- In the trash.
- No.
160
00:06:35,616 --> 00:06:36,648
- Yep.
- That's...
161
00:06:36,650 --> 00:06:37,813
- That's insanity.
- Nope. Nope.
162
00:06:37,838 --> 00:06:39,184
Good-bye, Josh thong
163
00:06:39,186 --> 00:06:40,486
that I never wo... I don't wear thongs.
164
00:06:40,488 --> 00:06:41,313
Why did I even get this?
165
00:06:41,338 --> 00:06:42,797
You have finally lost it.
166
00:06:42,822 --> 00:06:44,990
You have left the reservation
and I-I can't... I'm not...
167
00:06:44,992 --> 00:06:46,458
I can't watch it. I
don't care. I don't care.
168
00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:48,494
I'm not supporting this. No, uh-uh.
169
00:07:00,172 --> 00:07:04,109
Hey... I'm so nervous, aren't you?
170
00:07:04,111 --> 00:07:05,810
That last test... (groans)
171
00:07:05,812 --> 00:07:07,912
Was pretty easy, at least for me.
172
00:07:07,914 --> 00:07:09,847
Wow, that's impressive.
173
00:07:09,849 --> 00:07:11,549
You must be smart.
174
00:07:11,551 --> 00:07:12,983
Yeah, well.
175
00:07:12,985 --> 00:07:15,188
I-I don't like to tell
people this, but, um...
176
00:07:15,213 --> 00:07:17,297
Oh, you don't have to tell me
something you don't like to...
177
00:07:17,322 --> 00:07:19,490
I got into the Harvard of the South.
178
00:07:19,735 --> 00:07:21,992
Emory? You know it?
179
00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:22,860
Emory?
180
00:07:22,885 --> 00:07:24,494
The Harvard of the South is Duke.
181
00:07:24,496 --> 00:07:27,875
No. No, no. Emory. Google it.
182
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,767
Professor: So, everyone,
183
00:07:29,842 --> 00:07:32,943
overall there were some nice efforts,
184
00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:37,063
but, uh, some of you, I'm
sad to say, fell short.
185
00:07:44,716 --> 00:07:47,150
I'm really not sure
what rubric you're using
186
00:07:47,152 --> 00:07:48,985
to grade these, but...
187
00:07:48,987 --> 00:07:50,587
Doesn't take much of a rubric to see
188
00:07:50,589 --> 00:07:52,155
that you didn't put in
much of an effort here.
189
00:07:52,469 --> 00:07:55,024
Oh, well, you know, I work full-time.
190
00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:56,259
My dad is sick.
191
00:07:56,261 --> 00:07:58,469
I work two jobs and my husband is dead.
192
00:07:59,454 --> 00:08:01,564
I am very sorry to hear that,
193
00:08:01,566 --> 00:08:03,799
but I... was not involved.
194
00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:06,169
Your next assignment
is an essay due Friday.
195
00:08:06,171 --> 00:08:08,204
You can do better, Mr. Serrano.
196
00:08:08,206 --> 00:08:10,340
You got into the Harvard
of the South, after all,
197
00:08:10,342 --> 00:08:13,164
which you somehow managed
to mention on your test.
198
00:08:13,778 --> 00:08:15,438
A multiple choice test.
199
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:17,880
So, you're busting my balls
200
00:08:17,882 --> 00:08:20,549
about an intro class
at an extension school?
201
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:22,284
Cool, yeah. Makes sense.
202
00:08:22,286 --> 00:08:26,021
Look, I don't know you very
well, but from where I stand,
203
00:08:26,282 --> 00:08:28,758
it seems like you've made the
choice not to try or something.
204
00:08:28,783 --> 00:08:31,460
Oh, please, don't you
worry about my decisions.
205
00:08:31,462 --> 00:08:34,024
I will decide about my decisions.
206
00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:41,891
(mocking the teacher):
Choosing not to try, Greg.
207
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:44,506
You got into Emory, Greg.
208
00:08:44,508 --> 00:08:46,273
I mean, duh, I could have done better.
209
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:49,110
I could have gotten an �A�
on that test if I'd wanted to.
210
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,546
Whoop-de-frickin'-do,
an �A�
211
00:08:51,548 --> 00:08:54,281
What's an �A�? It's
just a letter on a page
212
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,384
Meant to distract
us from the pain
213
00:08:56,386 --> 00:08:58,853
But it's not like any �A�
can make a difference in the day
214
00:08:58,855 --> 00:09:01,055
Sure, I could get an �A�
if I wanted to get an �A�
215
00:09:01,057 --> 00:09:02,189
But who cares about an �A�?
216
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:03,657
I don't
217
00:09:03,682 --> 00:09:05,316
I don't care
218
00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:06,473
Although I could
have made that grade
219
00:09:06,498 --> 00:09:07,697
If I did care
220
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:09,289
But I don't
221
00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:13,734
But I could if I wanted to
222
00:09:13,736 --> 00:09:15,536
Whoop-de-frickin'-do
223
00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:18,405
Look at this guy in the
red and blue striped tie
224
00:09:18,407 --> 00:09:20,073
Making millions till he dies
225
00:09:20,075 --> 00:09:22,543
Selling bonds and stocks
to other guys in ties
226
00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:24,545
Who have millions
with which to buy
227
00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:25,846
A bunch of bonds
and stocks and ties
228
00:09:25,848 --> 00:09:27,280
I'd rather die
229
00:09:27,282 --> 00:09:28,649
Which I will
eventually, of course
230
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,517
But in the meantime
231
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:33,477
I could make millions selling
stocks and bonds and ties
232
00:09:33,502 --> 00:09:35,055
If I tried
233
00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:36,556
But I don't
234
00:09:36,558 --> 00:09:39,243
But I could, but I don't
235
00:09:40,628 --> 00:09:44,041
But I could if I wanted to
236
00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:45,891
Yeah
237
00:09:46,507 --> 00:09:49,342
Yeah, I could if I wanted to
238
00:09:49,367 --> 00:09:50,930
Who cares?
239
00:09:53,251 --> 00:09:55,752
Whoop-de-frickin'-do
240
00:09:55,777 --> 00:09:57,043
A happy dad
241
00:09:57,045 --> 00:09:58,410
With his big dad calves
242
00:09:58,412 --> 00:09:59,779
And his stupid baseball cap
243
00:09:59,781 --> 00:10:01,080
And his T-ball shirt
244
00:10:01,082 --> 00:10:02,949
And dumb-ass son
throwing a ball
245
00:10:02,951 --> 00:10:05,685
Like it's so important to
know how to throw a ball
246
00:10:05,687 --> 00:10:07,186
Whoop-de-frickin'-do
247
00:10:07,188 --> 00:10:08,620
Who cares about throwing a ball
248
00:10:08,622 --> 00:10:09,888
Or having a kid
249
00:10:09,890 --> 00:10:11,390
It'll get you nowhere in life
250
00:10:11,392 --> 00:10:13,325
Not like getting
anywhere matters
251
00:10:13,327 --> 00:10:15,743
Although I guess
it does if you care
252
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,586
Which I don't
253
00:10:19,087 --> 00:10:20,922
But I could, but I don't
254
00:10:21,597 --> 00:10:24,298
But I could if I wanted to
255
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:25,868
Yeah
256
00:10:27,207 --> 00:10:30,575
Whoop-de-frickin'-do
if I wanted to
257
00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:32,993
This song sucks
258
00:10:33,018 --> 00:10:36,430
I could make it
good if I wanted to
259
00:10:36,455 --> 00:10:38,008
Yeah
260
00:10:39,025 --> 00:10:42,726
Yeah, I could if I wanted to.
261
00:10:46,859 --> 00:10:48,422
I could do that if I wanted to.
262
00:10:49,462 --> 00:10:50,868
You're an idiot.
263
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,858
(sighs)
264
00:10:56,079 --> 00:10:58,245
Oh, my God, this is nuts.
265
00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:59,937
Okay, you can't give
up on Josh right now.
266
00:10:59,939 --> 00:11:01,102
You are so close.
267
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,125
Paula, he picked Valencia.
268
00:11:03,442 --> 00:11:05,185
Like, in front of my face.
269
00:11:05,821 --> 00:11:06,944
Game over.
270
00:11:06,946 --> 00:11:08,211
What? No.
271
00:11:08,213 --> 00:11:09,625
Game has just begun.
272
00:11:09,807 --> 00:11:12,426
Okay, you have antibodies to his saliva.
273
00:11:12,451 --> 00:11:14,438
You cannot give up. You have traction.
274
00:11:14,487 --> 00:11:16,773
He-he touched the side
of your boob, I saw it.
275
00:11:16,798 --> 00:11:18,565
(doorbell rings)
276
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,324
- Can you get whoever that...
- Yeah, I will get that.
277
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:24,494
And... just... let's continue
the convo later, okay?
278
00:11:24,496 --> 00:11:26,763
And if it's the people across
the street from that church,
279
00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:28,539
just tell them I don't
believe and will never believe.
280
00:11:29,247 --> 00:11:31,147
Rebecca.
281
00:11:31,922 --> 00:11:34,704
Hello, everyone in Josh's family.
282
00:11:34,706 --> 00:11:36,605
Hi. Oh, my gosh.
283
00:11:36,607 --> 00:11:39,414
I haven't seen you
since the last book club.
284
00:11:39,439 --> 00:11:41,410
(squeals) I haven't
seen you got engaged.
285
00:11:41,412 --> 00:11:42,812
How does it feel?
286
00:11:42,814 --> 00:11:44,113
It feels like I've
been waiting seven years
287
00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:46,329
for Phillip to propose, because I have.
288
00:11:46,354 --> 00:11:47,336
(laughing)
289
00:11:47,361 --> 00:11:48,493
Let me see the rock.
290
00:11:48,748 --> 00:11:50,182
Oh, my gosh, I mean,
291
00:11:50,207 --> 00:11:51,839
Phillip said he was going
for it, but... (whistles)
292
00:11:52,022 --> 00:11:53,822
He said you were so helpful getting it.
293
00:11:53,824 --> 00:11:54,990
Oh, it was no problem at all.
294
00:11:54,992 --> 00:11:56,086
I helped my client, Moshe,
295
00:11:56,111 --> 00:11:57,859
through a very complicated
subdivision deal,
296
00:11:57,861 --> 00:11:59,094
and he said he could hook me up
297
00:11:59,096 --> 00:12:00,641
with non-blood diamonds at a discount.
298
00:12:00,864 --> 00:12:02,998
And never pass up a
good discount, right?
299
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,167
I know what you're thinking...
Like, diamonds, discounts,
300
00:12:05,169 --> 00:12:07,586
those are some like
classic Jew moves, you know?
301
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:10,906
What are you doing here?
302
00:12:10,908 --> 00:12:13,188
Jayma has something to ask you.
303
00:12:13,594 --> 00:12:16,477
Look, I know that this is sudden,
304
00:12:16,479 --> 00:12:19,172
and we haven't known
each other that long...
305
00:12:19,349 --> 00:12:21,616
God, I feel like I'm
proposing or something.
306
00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:24,094
You've been such a good
friend to the family.
307
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:27,007
You wrote Jastenity that
letter to get into Harvard.
308
00:12:27,032 --> 00:12:30,055
Unfortunately the letter was
better than her application,
309
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,759
but she did get into
Cal State Northridge,
310
00:12:31,761 --> 00:12:33,794
which is the Harvard of Northridge.
311
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:34,962
Yeah, it is.
312
00:12:34,964 --> 00:12:35,750
There we go.
313
00:12:35,775 --> 00:12:37,664
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is,
314
00:12:38,096 --> 00:12:40,899
how would you like to be
a bridesmaid at my wedding?
315
00:12:43,239 --> 00:12:44,493
Paula: You mean,
316
00:12:44,518 --> 00:12:45,817
be an official part
of the Chan fam-bam?
317
00:12:45,842 --> 00:12:47,391
She'd love to.
318
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:52,246
You want me to be a bridesmaid.
319
00:12:52,248 --> 00:12:55,249
Aw, you're such a lovely girl, Rebecca.
320
00:12:55,251 --> 00:12:57,584
We would be so honored if you would
321
00:12:57,586 --> 00:12:59,486
become a part of our family wedding.
322
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:00,854
And you are the perfect height
323
00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:02,289
to pair with Phillip's friend, Daniel,
324
00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:04,164
who stopped growing
after being a kid gymnast.
325
00:13:05,039 --> 00:13:07,719
Um, actually,
326
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:09,840
I-I don't know if I should.
327
00:13:09,865 --> 00:13:10,357
Oh.
328
00:13:10,382 --> 00:13:11,832
Paula: Okay, hey, why
don't we just... ?
329
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,567
O-One second, Chan ladies.
330
00:13:14,569 --> 00:13:15,902
Come here. One...
331
00:13:15,904 --> 00:13:16,993
One-one second.
332
00:13:18,289 --> 00:13:19,806
Okay, this would kill Valencia.
333
00:13:19,808 --> 00:13:20,840
Dead. Down in the ground.
334
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,375
Like a bug. Legs in the air.
335
00:13:22,377 --> 00:13:23,709
Now she's a ghost, boo.
336
00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:25,245
Okay, but, Paula, what
have I been saying?
337
00:13:25,247 --> 00:13:27,880
I need to disengage and
disentangle from dis family.
338
00:13:27,882 --> 00:13:28,930
Know what I'm saying?
339
00:13:28,955 --> 00:13:31,517
Seriously, I-I want to
make amends to Valencia,
340
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:33,047
and this is like the opposite of that.
341
00:13:33,072 --> 00:13:35,053
Yeah, okay, well, who says
no to being a bridesmaid?
342
00:13:35,055 --> 00:13:36,086
You can't do that.
343
00:13:36,111 --> 00:13:37,594
I mean, who does that? Monster people.
344
00:13:39,394 --> 00:13:41,227
- I have a question.
- No.
345
00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:42,829
Is Valencia a bridesmaid?
346
00:13:42,854 --> 00:13:44,840
Uh, not exactly.
347
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,031
By that she means no.
348
00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:47,532
Like, ew, no.
349
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,467
Here's the thing, I-I'd
love to be a bridesmaid,
350
00:13:49,469 --> 00:13:51,136
but I don't think it would be fair
351
00:13:51,138 --> 00:13:53,102
for me to be a bridesmaid
and for Valencia not to be.
352
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,873
I guess you're right.
353
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,775
And Josh has asked for Valencia
354
00:13:56,777 --> 00:13:58,443
to be a bridesmaid about 50 times, so...
355
00:13:58,445 --> 00:14:00,719
Great, so you get
what I'm trying to say.
356
00:14:01,055 --> 00:14:03,247
So you can both be in the wedding.
357
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:04,683
Sorry, what's that?
358
00:14:04,685 --> 00:14:06,017
Pardonnez-moi?
359
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,055
You and Valencia can
both be bridesmaids.
360
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,622
That way you don't have to worry
about her not being included.
361
00:14:10,624 --> 00:14:12,691
Very wise, Jayma.
362
00:14:12,693 --> 00:14:13,891
It's settled, then.
363
00:14:13,893 --> 00:14:17,571
Yeah, it is! (all laughing)
364
00:14:25,461 --> 00:14:27,055
(laughing):
H-H-Hey.
365
00:14:27,278 --> 00:14:29,579
I know you, from Spider's.
366
00:14:29,899 --> 00:14:31,447
You were the sourpuss
367
00:14:31,449 --> 00:14:33,274
fighting with the girl
in the shiny dress.
368
00:14:33,551 --> 00:14:36,085
Hey, I'm, I'm not a sourpuss.
369
00:14:36,087 --> 00:14:38,454
I'm pensive and deep.
370
00:14:38,456 --> 00:14:39,654
Are you dusting potatoes?
371
00:14:40,219 --> 00:14:41,430
I like to look busy.
372
00:14:41,455 --> 00:14:43,588
Well, you're out of dark roast.
373
00:14:43,808 --> 00:14:45,680
I can't study without dark roast.
374
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:47,219
Could you get on that?
375
00:14:47,598 --> 00:14:51,400
Oh, yeah, sure, uh, no problemo.
376
00:14:51,402 --> 00:14:52,696
Thanks.
377
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,227
Hi.
378
00:15:03,815 --> 00:15:05,133
She's cute.
379
00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:08,316
Are we being pleasant now?
380
00:15:08,318 --> 00:15:10,118
Sorry, I don't know your rules.
381
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,547
So, you two an item?
382
00:15:11,813 --> 00:15:14,647
Me and Ally? Oh, I wish.
383
00:15:14,922 --> 00:15:16,157
She quit her job
384
00:15:16,159 --> 00:15:18,759
as a manager at a Whole
Foods, came to work here.
385
00:15:18,761 --> 00:15:21,063
I could not figure out
why for the longest time.
386
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,766
And then I realized...
387
00:15:27,349 --> 00:15:28,989
Greg: Hey, I know that guy.
388
00:15:29,014 --> 00:15:32,483
Grocery clerk with
half an eyelid.
389
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,263
His name is Brody.
390
00:15:35,745 --> 00:15:37,011
I can't compete with him.
391
00:15:37,864 --> 00:15:41,148
He has the flattop of a Greek god.
392
00:15:41,466 --> 00:15:44,451
- This!
- (both laugh)
393
00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:46,319
Whoa, you are so good at magic.
394
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:47,161
How do you do it?
395
00:15:47,186 --> 00:15:49,747
Uh-uh-uh. A true magician
never reveals his secrets.
396
00:15:50,192 --> 00:15:51,391
Come on, Brody.
397
00:15:51,393 --> 00:15:52,792
So you like her.
398
00:15:52,794 --> 00:15:53,786
Yeah.
399
00:15:54,063 --> 00:15:55,295
I don't have a shot.
400
00:15:55,297 --> 00:15:56,747
I mean, look at her.
401
00:15:57,299 --> 00:15:58,372
I should give up.
402
00:15:58,629 --> 00:15:59,894
I know that's the right decision.
403
00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:02,345
Are you sure... she doesn't like you?
404
00:16:02,903 --> 00:16:04,103
Watch this.
405
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:05,471
Ally.
406
00:16:05,888 --> 00:16:07,106
Ally.
407
00:16:07,108 --> 00:16:08,739
Ally, though.
408
00:16:10,107 --> 00:16:11,806
That's my type, too.
409
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,358
Ally.
410
00:16:14,536 --> 00:16:15,548
(hisses)
411
00:16:15,550 --> 00:16:17,403
Oh, that's so hot.
412
00:16:17,428 --> 00:16:19,428
Okay, bro, I gotcha.
413
00:16:19,897 --> 00:16:21,950
I know exactly what you need to do.
414
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:29,200
So, you and Valencia are friends?
415
00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:31,833
Uh, kinda.
416
00:16:32,615 --> 00:16:35,349
I'd say we share a history
of common interests.
417
00:16:35,469 --> 00:16:36,919
Of course, she's late.
418
00:16:36,944 --> 00:16:39,347
She's the kind of person
that has to make an entrance.
419
00:16:39,372 --> 00:16:41,206
You know what? I don't
think that's fair.
420
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,802
I wouldn't stereotype
her as someone that...
421
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,817
Oh, sorry I'm late.
422
00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:46,344
I just had some pictures taken
423
00:16:46,346 --> 00:16:48,313
for my Hometown Hotties
submission to Maxim.
424
00:16:48,315 --> 00:16:49,514
Ugh.
425
00:16:51,055 --> 00:16:53,088
We ready to try on some dresses?
426
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,512
Jas, come on.
427
00:16:54,537 --> 00:16:56,637
Let's go pick out the
first round of dresses.
428
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:01,593
(whispering): This is beautiful.
429
00:17:02,950 --> 00:17:04,996
- Hey.
- Whoa!
430
00:17:04,998 --> 00:17:07,164
Hey, Valencia, hi, oh,
431
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:08,699
uh, this is going to be so fun.
432
00:17:08,701 --> 00:17:10,768
Are you ready to be,
like, bridesmaid buddies?
433
00:17:11,474 --> 00:17:13,411
I want to make myself very, very clear.
434
00:17:13,436 --> 00:17:14,268
Okay.
435
00:17:14,548 --> 00:17:16,081
I know what happened.
436
00:17:16,106 --> 00:17:17,639
I know about the kiss.
437
00:17:17,797 --> 00:17:19,664
And if it were any other situation,
438
00:17:19,689 --> 00:17:22,055
I would take off my earrings,
my extensions, and my wings,
439
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,513
and curb-stomp you.
440
00:17:24,082 --> 00:17:25,982
Got it, that's fair.
441
00:17:25,984 --> 00:17:27,417
But, for some reason, you're the one
442
00:17:27,419 --> 00:17:28,752
that got me into this wedding party.
443
00:17:28,754 --> 00:17:29,942
Josh told me it was all you.
444
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:31,255
- He did?
- Yep. I mean,
445
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:34,083
I don't know why you
did it, but I don't care.
446
00:17:34,108 --> 00:17:35,540
Just stay out of my way
447
00:17:35,565 --> 00:17:37,565
and don't make me look
bad to these people.
448
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,935
Hey, Valencia, I can
do better than that.
449
00:17:42,317 --> 00:17:43,967
I can make you look good.
450
00:17:43,969 --> 00:17:46,670
Yeah, yeah, like, by the end of this,
451
00:17:46,672 --> 00:17:48,237
they're going to want to adopt you.
452
00:17:48,965 --> 00:17:51,715
But maybe that's not, like,
precisely what you want, but...
453
00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:52,939
Oh, just shut up.
454
00:17:52,966 --> 00:17:54,099
Okay.
455
00:17:57,365 --> 00:17:58,731
How about this?
456
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,066
This seems like a style
457
00:18:00,068 --> 00:18:01,177
that would work on everyone. Well,
458
00:18:01,202 --> 00:18:02,602
most of us.
459
00:18:02,996 --> 00:18:04,013
Valencia's right.
460
00:18:04,038 --> 00:18:06,317
Uh, you know, uh, two-piece,
461
00:18:06,342 --> 00:18:10,708
halter, mesh dress might work
well for you very lean ladies,
462
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:13,872
but, yeah, not for this
festival of back fat going on.
463
00:18:13,897 --> 00:18:16,631
(laughing)
464
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,302
Okay, well,
465
00:18:18,327 --> 00:18:19,861
what about... this?
466
00:18:20,386 --> 00:18:21,832
Oh, my God.
467
00:18:21,857 --> 00:18:24,138
Those are such beautiful nipple covers.
468
00:18:24,163 --> 00:18:25,474
Yeah, those would definitely cover
469
00:18:25,507 --> 00:18:26,786
most of my nipples.
470
00:18:26,811 --> 00:18:28,411
Yeah, guys, let me remind you,
471
00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:31,192
I eat bagels at night... Valencia knows.
472
00:18:31,217 --> 00:18:33,183
She knows all about my
night bagels... tell 'em, V.
473
00:18:33,867 --> 00:18:35,200
Here's what you didn't know.
474
00:18:35,202 --> 00:18:36,099
For my midnight bagel,
475
00:18:36,124 --> 00:18:38,391
I eat it with butter,
cream cheese, and...
476
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:40,419
- bacon.
- (all laugh)
477
00:18:40,444 --> 00:18:41,802
Seriously. S-R-S-L-Y.
478
00:18:41,827 --> 00:18:43,027
Like, true story.
479
00:18:43,606 --> 00:18:45,575
Okay, so why don't we
480
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,567
try different styles in the same color?
481
00:18:47,592 --> 00:18:49,559
That's a great idea. That's so Ni...
482
00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:51,138
You know what? I'm
gonna go out on a limb
483
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:53,163
and say that's, like, really gracious.
484
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,263
It is, actually, a,
485
00:18:55,358 --> 00:18:56,624
a good idea.
486
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,051
That's the plan.
487
00:18:58,076 --> 00:18:59,642
So you kids can go crazy
488
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:02,267
with your halters and your
sheaths and your cutouts,
489
00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:05,310
and I will wear a dress
fit to upholster a chair.
490
00:19:05,335 --> 00:19:07,068
And I will wear it with pride.
491
00:19:07,093 --> 00:19:08,459
Rebecca, come on.
492
00:19:08,484 --> 00:19:10,450
Yeah, you're not that disgustingly fat.
493
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,567
Aw, thank you, Valencia.
494
00:19:12,592 --> 00:19:16,153
- Thank you.
- (laughter)
495
00:19:21,289 --> 00:19:22,322
(startled yell)
496
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,761
Paula.
497
00:19:24,951 --> 00:19:26,646
What have we said about standing places,
498
00:19:26,671 --> 00:19:27,905
quietly waiting for people?
499
00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:29,442
I forgot.
500
00:19:30,389 --> 00:19:33,083
Okay, so how did it go with
Valencia at the dress shop?
501
00:19:33,108 --> 00:19:34,707
Did you find any weaknesses?
502
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:36,771
I was thinking that we could
use your role as bridesmaid
503
00:19:36,878 --> 00:19:38,311
to really mess her up.
504
00:19:38,336 --> 00:19:42,138
My first thought was
poison oak in the dress.
505
00:19:42,163 --> 00:19:43,873
Rashy nips, instant classic. Paula.
506
00:19:43,897 --> 00:19:45,763
What? We're not doing any of that.
507
00:19:45,945 --> 00:19:47,356
- We're not.
- No.
508
00:19:47,777 --> 00:19:50,011
We're just acting like normal people.
509
00:19:50,036 --> 00:19:51,936
I'm going to be like any other teenage
510
00:19:51,961 --> 00:19:53,894
ex-boyfriend's sister's
last-minute bridesmaid.
511
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,903
Yeah, so just be cool.
512
00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:58,786
Understood. I have my orders.
513
00:20:02,139 --> 00:20:04,807
Where can a person buy poison oak,
514
00:20:04,832 --> 00:20:06,935
and what is the rashiest kind?
515
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:07,653
(phone dings)
516
00:20:07,678 --> 00:20:09,599
Female Voice: Richard Kind
is a 59-year-old actor,
517
00:20:09,624 --> 00:20:11,606
best known for his role in Spin City.
518
00:20:11,631 --> 00:20:15,161
No. Poison oak, rashiest kind.
519
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:15,872
(phone dings)
520
00:20:15,957 --> 00:20:18,224
Jim Rash is the award-winning
writer of The Descendants.
521
00:20:18,882 --> 00:20:20,449
Come on.
522
00:20:21,182 --> 00:20:23,048
You're sure this is a good idea?
523
00:20:23,128 --> 00:20:24,961
Dude, she doesn't like you.
524
00:20:25,013 --> 00:20:26,380
She's shown no interest.
525
00:20:26,382 --> 00:20:28,047
She's way into someone else.
526
00:20:28,049 --> 00:20:29,896
Why give up now?
527
00:20:30,576 --> 00:20:32,910
This is the right move.
528
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,747
Um, can I have everyone's
attention, please?
529
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:40,105
Hey! Hey!
530
00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:42,692
Hey, someone's trying
to let it rip here.
531
00:20:43,271 --> 00:20:44,950
- Thank you, Greg.
- You're welcome.
532
00:20:45,739 --> 00:20:46,574
(clears throat)
533
00:20:47,138 --> 00:20:48,935
This goes out to a young lady
534
00:20:49,038 --> 00:20:51,286
currently restocking feminine products.
535
00:20:51,763 --> 00:20:53,927
It's called �Clean Up on Aisle 4.�
536
00:20:54,161 --> 00:20:56,427
Not an actual cleanup, Rick.
537
00:20:58,021 --> 00:21:01,716
Clean up my heart on Aisle 4
538
00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:06,218
'Cause that's where it lays
in a heap of green olives
539
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,302
From the olive bar
540
00:21:08,903 --> 00:21:11,911
(mouthing)
'Cause I'm
the pimento to your olive
541
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:15,231
I want to be inside of you
542
00:21:16,430 --> 00:21:19,473
But instead my
heart is on the floor
543
00:21:19,498 --> 00:21:24,091
Being crushed like
The garlic we sell by the door.
544
00:21:24,352 --> 00:21:26,752
(whispering): Oh, my God, it's working.
545
00:21:30,884 --> 00:21:34,028
Look out, everybody, it's my body!
546
00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:40,350
(applauding)
547
00:21:41,087 --> 00:21:42,920
Whee! Teach me, teach me!
548
00:21:43,071 --> 00:21:44,370
Uh-uh, it's too hard.
549
00:21:45,249 --> 00:21:46,997
You didn't tell me he was a gymnast.
550
00:21:47,022 --> 00:21:48,688
He can do anything.
551
00:21:55,404 --> 00:21:58,036
(phone chimes)
552
00:21:59,091 --> 00:22:02,013
Eh, can we get back to
work, or am I boring you?
553
00:22:02,038 --> 00:22:03,504
I am so sor... I'm sor... it's a...
554
00:22:03,529 --> 00:22:05,755
it's a bridesmaid text chain.
555
00:22:05,779 --> 00:22:07,879
It's about... it's about
the word �cummerbund�"
556
00:22:07,881 --> 00:22:09,114
It's... it's a funny word.
557
00:22:09,116 --> 00:22:10,122
Sorry. Let's get back to the case.
558
00:22:10,147 --> 00:22:11,312
The case? Who cares about the case?
559
00:22:11,337 --> 00:22:12,536
When are you getting
the bridesmaid gowns?
560
00:22:12,568 --> 00:22:14,247
'Cause I got a guy in Maine
561
00:22:14,272 --> 00:22:17,106
who's going to send me some
primo itchy, sticky plants.
562
00:22:17,334 --> 00:22:19,668
And he said he was going to
throw in a couple deer ticks
563
00:22:19,670 --> 00:22:21,777
for, you know, a little extra...
564
00:22:21,802 --> 00:22:24,306
Um, what are you talking about?
565
00:22:24,308 --> 00:22:25,873
Our plan - rashy nips.
566
00:22:25,874 --> 00:22:27,374
- Oh.
- I say
567
00:22:27,377 --> 00:22:29,311
we roll the dice for, you know,
568
00:22:29,313 --> 00:22:30,712
some possible Lyme disease.
569
00:22:30,714 --> 00:22:32,180
- I have so much to say...
- (phone chimes)
570
00:22:32,182 --> 00:22:33,715
Hold on one second.
571
00:22:33,888 --> 00:22:35,783
Oh, oh, it's from Jayma.
572
00:22:35,785 --> 00:22:38,777
It says emergency. SOS. 411.
573
00:22:38,802 --> 00:22:40,035
She means 911.
574
00:22:40,474 --> 00:22:41,536
I wonder if Phillip got cold feet.
575
00:22:41,538 --> 00:22:42,591
I have to go.
576
00:22:42,616 --> 00:22:43,997
- What?
- I have to go, I'm sorry.
577
00:22:44,022 --> 00:22:45,255
What about our plan?
578
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,913
There's no plan.
579
00:22:46,938 --> 00:22:48,185
Ugh.
580
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,903
The dance we do.
581
00:22:50,221 --> 00:22:52,083
- Hey, what's the emergency?
- I don't know, do you?
582
00:22:52,108 --> 00:22:53,441
Guys.
583
00:22:53,466 --> 00:22:54,903
There's something I need to tell you.
584
00:22:54,969 --> 00:22:56,235
And it won't be easy.
585
00:22:57,429 --> 00:23:00,663
My dress is done early,
and I brought champagne!
586
00:23:00,688 --> 00:23:02,722
(all screaming)
587
00:23:02,747 --> 00:23:04,880
- (cork pops)
- (whooping)
588
00:23:05,486 --> 00:23:08,294
- Oh, man.
- Wow.
589
00:23:08,987 --> 00:23:10,520
All: Cheers!
590
00:23:10,818 --> 00:23:11,872
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
591
00:23:11,897 --> 00:23:13,496
Valencia's so funny.
592
00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:15,518
Oh, Valencia, tell them about
the part with the old lady.
593
00:23:15,621 --> 00:23:18,974
Yeah, so, this 90-year-old
lady was in downward dog,
594
00:23:18,999 --> 00:23:21,666
and I said to her, �Okay,
just breathe into it.�
595
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:22,872
And she said,
596
00:23:22,897 --> 00:23:25,974
�If I breathe into it any
harder, I'm gonna toot.�
597
00:23:25,999 --> 00:23:27,866
(laughing)
598
00:23:27,891 --> 00:23:29,390
Oh, she's so funny.
599
00:23:29,415 --> 00:23:31,081
She has a million yoga
stories like these.
600
00:23:31,106 --> 00:23:32,060
They're great.
601
00:23:32,085 --> 00:23:33,451
Well, I've been practicing my humor.
602
00:23:33,476 --> 00:23:35,200
I watched an online tutorial.
603
00:23:35,794 --> 00:23:38,034
This was so much fun, you guys.
604
00:23:38,466 --> 00:23:39,725
When Joshy and I get married,
605
00:23:39,727 --> 00:23:42,286
I want all of you to be in the wedding.
606
00:23:43,388 --> 00:23:44,599
Except for you.
607
00:23:45,552 --> 00:23:47,318
I mean, would it kill
you to say something?
608
00:23:48,122 --> 00:23:49,401
Jastenity: She's not wrong, Ruby.
609
00:23:49,404 --> 00:23:50,770
You're a dud.
610
00:23:52,253 --> 00:23:55,771
Ah, man, I am tipsy.
611
00:23:55,796 --> 00:23:58,062
This was so fun.
612
00:23:58,109 --> 00:24:00,276
Oh, Jas, we got to go meet
mom at the cake-tasting.
613
00:24:00,552 --> 00:24:02,251
Can you guys stay and make skee
614
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:04,122
the dress gets packed away perfectly?
615
00:24:04,147 --> 00:24:05,841
Like no wrinkles or bubbles.
616
00:24:05,866 --> 00:24:07,192
Absolutely. We're on it.
617
00:24:07,349 --> 00:24:08,271
Valencia and I got this.
618
00:24:08,296 --> 00:24:09,122
Yep, we got it.
619
00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:10,513
Thanks, V.
620
00:24:10,538 --> 00:24:13,205
You know, we all
thought you were heinous,
621
00:24:13,230 --> 00:24:14,950
but you're kind of okay.
622
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:16,481
(laughs)
623
00:24:16,506 --> 00:24:18,981
- All right, bye, ladies.
- Bye, Jayma.
624
00:24:19,006 --> 00:24:20,708
Drink a glass of water.
625
00:24:21,768 --> 00:24:22,653
Wow.
626
00:24:22,678 --> 00:24:23,450
(door bell jingles)
627
00:24:23,603 --> 00:24:25,069
They don't think I'm heinous anymore.
628
00:24:25,243 --> 00:24:27,676
Jastenity even offered
me a half stick of gum.
629
00:24:27,842 --> 00:24:30,267
I said no because I
bloat, but still...
630
00:24:30,291 --> 00:24:31,200
Congrats.
631
00:24:34,692 --> 00:24:36,714
Well, I guess we should, um,
632
00:24:36,716 --> 00:24:38,622
get the girls to pack
up this big-ass dress.
633
00:24:38,647 --> 00:24:39,802
Yeah, okay.
634
00:24:40,501 --> 00:24:42,255
Hmm, wow.
635
00:24:42,722 --> 00:24:45,497
Wow, this would look even worse
on me than some of the others.
636
00:24:45,522 --> 00:24:46,958
Oh, come on, stop.
637
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,739
I mean, you make jokes about your body,
638
00:24:48,764 --> 00:24:50,341
and they're pretty funny
and mostly accurate,
639
00:24:50,366 --> 00:24:53,505
but with your big boobs,
that dress would look great.
640
00:24:53,530 --> 00:24:54,696
Are you kidding? No.
641
00:24:54,721 --> 00:24:55,942
I'd be spilling out of this thing,
642
00:24:55,967 --> 00:24:57,399
and not like in a sexy, on purpose,
643
00:24:57,424 --> 00:24:58,858
Christina Hendricks type of way.
644
00:24:58,883 --> 00:25:00,942
So? Guys don't care.
645
00:25:00,967 --> 00:25:03,239
Guys love big boobs like yours.
646
00:25:03,264 --> 00:25:05,388
I mean, sometimes I hate my small boobs.
647
00:25:05,413 --> 00:25:08,325
I mean, I thought
about getting implants.
648
00:25:08,350 --> 00:25:10,638
What? No, don't do that.
649
00:25:10,663 --> 00:25:12,597
Oh, my gosh, Valencia, if you knew
650
00:25:12,622 --> 00:25:14,222
what went into having a
pair of monsters like these,
651
00:25:14,247 --> 00:25:16,087
you would never think
about getting them again.
652
00:25:18,231 --> 00:25:19,872
I'm gonna show you.
653
00:25:20,713 --> 00:25:22,646
(gasps) Rebecca, you can't.
654
00:25:22,671 --> 00:25:24,605
Valencia, once I put this dress on,
655
00:25:25,052 --> 00:25:26,950
you will never envy these puppies again.
656
00:25:27,265 --> 00:25:28,255
Get ready.
657
00:25:32,474 --> 00:25:33,907
(groans)
658
00:25:33,932 --> 00:25:35,298
(gasps)
659
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,472
Ugh.
660
00:25:37,473 --> 00:25:38,806
- (gasps)
- Mm-hmm.
661
00:25:38,809 --> 00:25:40,442
There... yep.
662
00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:43,091
I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs
663
00:25:43,162 --> 00:25:44,896
Dense like dying
stars, I got them
664
00:25:44,898 --> 00:25:46,864
Heavy boobs, heavy boobs
665
00:25:46,866 --> 00:25:48,265
I can't run real far
666
00:25:48,267 --> 00:25:51,801
Let me break down
what I just said
667
00:25:51,826 --> 00:25:53,258
Each of my double Ds
668
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,294
Has the volume of
a toddler's head
669
00:25:55,296 --> 00:25:56,729
Not bitchin' 'bout my boobies
670
00:25:56,731 --> 00:25:58,430
They look super fly in shirts
671
00:25:58,432 --> 00:26:00,166
But if I swung them in your face
672
00:26:00,168 --> 00:26:02,267
You'd be like, oh,
my God, that hurts
673
00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:04,336
I'm blind, holy crap
674
00:26:04,338 --> 00:26:05,871
I literally can't see
675
00:26:05,873 --> 00:26:07,773
I have permanent retinal damage
676
00:26:07,775 --> 00:26:09,741
I'm suing you and
your heavy boobies
677
00:26:09,743 --> 00:26:12,844
Heavy boobs, heavy boobs,
dense like dying stars
678
00:26:12,846 --> 00:26:14,913
I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs
679
00:26:14,915 --> 00:26:17,613
-
They each have their own memoirs
- _
680
00:26:17,638 --> 00:26:19,318
What you gotta know is that
681
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,019
Boobs may be where it's at
682
00:26:21,021 --> 00:26:22,221
But if you cut them open
683
00:26:22,223 --> 00:26:23,855
They're just sacks of yellow fat
684
00:26:23,857 --> 00:26:25,657
Stuff falls into my bra
685
00:26:25,659 --> 00:26:27,511
It's a little bit of a drag
686
00:26:27,536 --> 00:26:29,652
But when I go to bed at night
687
00:26:29,677 --> 00:26:32,144
It's like opening
a Mary Poppins bag
688
00:26:32,146 --> 00:26:35,614
Dancers: Whee, candy and pennies!
689
00:26:37,151 --> 00:26:39,885
I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs
690
00:26:39,887 --> 00:26:41,427
Dense like dying stars
691
00:26:41,452 --> 00:26:43,138
I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs
692
00:26:43,163 --> 00:26:45,229
Don't need an air bag in my car
693
00:26:45,254 --> 00:26:48,189
Here is a list of
all of the objects
694
00:26:48,214 --> 00:26:52,083
That I can hold under my boobs
695
00:26:52,108 --> 00:26:54,114
Stapler, ten pencils
696
00:26:54,139 --> 00:26:55,880
Paperback copy of Arabian Nights
697
00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:57,591
Dog bone, remote control
698
00:26:57,638 --> 00:26:59,747
Hardback copy of
Wuthering Heights
699
00:26:59,772 --> 00:27:02,106
See, when a star is dying, it
transforms into a red giant.
700
00:27:02,131 --> 00:27:04,185
And if the red giant does not
have enough mass to fuse carbon,
701
00:27:04,210 --> 00:27:07,322
an inert mass of carbon and
oxygen builds up in the center,
702
00:27:07,347 --> 00:27:09,231
transforming into a dense white dwarf.
703
00:27:10,051 --> 00:27:11,605
And yeah, like, that's my boobs.
704
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:12,763
That's... that's what my boobs are like.
705
00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:15,144
I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs
706
00:27:15,169 --> 00:27:16,601
Dense like a white dwarf
707
00:27:16,626 --> 00:27:18,860
I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs
708
00:27:18,862 --> 00:27:20,228
They'd be a catch
at Fisherman's Wharf
709
00:27:20,230 --> 00:27:22,396
I got them heavy
boobs, heavy boobs
710
00:27:22,421 --> 00:27:24,188
Don't ever forget that
711
00:27:24,213 --> 00:27:25,958
These heavy boobs, heavy boobs
712
00:27:25,983 --> 00:27:27,282
Are just sacks of yellow fat
713
00:27:27,307 --> 00:27:29,146
Like the stuffing of a couch
714
00:27:29,171 --> 00:27:31,105
They're just sacks of yellow fat
715
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,032
Technically meant to feed a baby
716
00:27:33,057 --> 00:27:35,057
They're just sacks
of yellow fat.
717
00:27:35,278 --> 00:27:36,255
Wow.
718
00:27:36,946 --> 00:27:38,388
I had no idea.
719
00:27:38,949 --> 00:27:41,005
No wonder my boobs are so small.
720
00:27:41,030 --> 00:27:42,597
I have no fat on my body.
721
00:27:42,817 --> 00:27:43,786
See?
722
00:27:43,811 --> 00:27:45,552
Exactly. Problem solved.
723
00:27:45,577 --> 00:27:47,481
Now, you try on the dress.
724
00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:48,856
Yes.
725
00:27:48,858 --> 00:27:50,057
Let's see how it looks
726
00:27:50,059 --> 00:27:51,497
with some nice B-cup action in there.
727
00:27:51,522 --> 00:27:53,794
No. I couldn't.
728
00:27:55,550 --> 00:27:56,824
Wow.
729
00:27:57,265 --> 00:27:58,364
Oh, my.
730
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:04,114
Valencia, you're going to
make a really beautiful bride.
731
00:28:06,302 --> 00:28:08,255
Josh is really lucky.
732
00:28:08,347 --> 00:28:09,846
I hope.
733
00:28:09,871 --> 00:28:12,528
I hope some day it is
Josh and me, I really do.
734
00:28:12,553 --> 00:28:13,599
It will be.
735
00:28:14,872 --> 00:28:20,942
And I'm so sorry if I did
anything to delay that dream.
736
00:28:21,090 --> 00:28:22,388
I appreciate you saying that.
737
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:25,950
Do you mind taking a picture of me?
738
00:28:26,181 --> 00:28:27,413
Just for me.
739
00:28:27,525 --> 00:28:28,700
I want to remember how I looked.
740
00:28:28,725 --> 00:28:29,957
Of course.
741
00:28:30,398 --> 00:28:31,130
Okay.
742
00:28:31,155 --> 00:28:32,122
Okay.
743
00:28:39,456 --> 00:28:41,536
Oh, I got nothing to work with here.
744
00:28:42,275 --> 00:28:43,940
I mean, I've already hacked
into Valencia's e-mails
745
00:28:43,965 --> 00:28:45,031
and her texts.
746
00:28:46,411 --> 00:28:48,190
Ooh, wait a minute, what's this?
747
00:28:48,215 --> 00:28:49,515
A photo stream?
748
00:28:51,261 --> 00:28:53,474
Oh, again. You with the face.
749
00:28:54,741 --> 00:28:57,241
What do you mean, how did
I get Valencia's password?
750
00:28:57,305 --> 00:28:58,470
You know me.
751
00:28:59,239 --> 00:29:00,592
Okay.
752
00:29:00,594 --> 00:29:02,761
Let's see what we've got here.
753
00:29:02,763 --> 00:29:07,098
Valencia's photos... chocolate
cake... fried chicken...
754
00:29:07,100 --> 00:29:08,669
Spaghetti with meatballs.
755
00:29:09,789 --> 00:29:12,231
Oh, she just likes to look at food.
756
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,278
Okay.
757
00:29:16,590 --> 00:29:18,074
Oh.
758
00:29:18,810 --> 00:29:20,578
Oh, wait a minute, what is this?
759
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:22,989
(gasps) I think that's
Jayma's wedding gown.
760
00:29:23,774 --> 00:29:25,138
Oh!
761
00:29:25,351 --> 00:29:27,950
You know, I've...
762
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:29,541
I've prayed to God my whole life,
763
00:29:29,566 --> 00:29:31,411
and I, and I never knew
if she was listening,
764
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:33,303
but... (sighs)
765
00:29:33,328 --> 00:29:34,825
thank you, Big Mama.
766
00:29:36,192 --> 00:29:38,496
(laughs)
767
00:29:38,498 --> 00:29:39,685
Uh, no wrinkles.
768
00:29:39,710 --> 00:29:41,325
- Yeah, or bubbles.
- Thank you.
769
00:29:41,350 --> 00:29:42,341
(phone chimes)
770
00:29:42,366 --> 00:29:43,632
We got this.
771
00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:45,757
It says I have a new like on a photo.
772
00:29:45,782 --> 00:29:47,849
I-I didn't take a
photo, what is this?
773
00:29:47,874 --> 00:29:48,753
Hmm.
774
00:29:51,083 --> 00:29:52,817
- (both gasp)
- (door bell jingles)
775
00:29:53,179 --> 00:29:54,302
Hey!
776
00:29:54,847 --> 00:29:56,396
You ruined my wedding.
777
00:29:56,489 --> 00:29:57,888
Yeah, bitch.
778
00:30:03,740 --> 00:30:05,740
- How could you?
- What's wrong with you?
779
00:30:05,742 --> 00:30:07,339
#HotterThanTheBride?
780
00:30:07,364 --> 00:30:08,977
I-I-I didn't
do anything.
781
00:30:08,979 --> 00:30:10,712
I didn't post a photo.
782
00:30:10,714 --> 00:30:12,647
And my hashtags are always positive.
783
00:30:12,649 --> 00:30:14,248
Like, #GirlBoss
784
00:30:14,310 --> 00:30:15,760
or #Fitspo.
785
00:30:16,044 --> 00:30:18,385
Someone must be framing me or something.
786
00:30:18,387 --> 00:30:19,753
What kind of psycho with no life
787
00:30:19,778 --> 00:30:20,817
would do such a thing?
788
00:30:20,842 --> 00:30:22,442
Oh, God, Paula.
789
00:30:22,677 --> 00:30:24,091
You must have done it.
790
00:30:24,382 --> 00:30:25,948
When I went to the bathroom.
791
00:30:27,083 --> 00:30:28,909
This is why women
792
00:30:28,934 --> 00:30:30,500
don't go to the bathroom alone.
793
00:30:34,099 --> 00:30:36,755
Excuse me, miss, I have
a bone to pick with you.
794
00:30:36,943 --> 00:30:38,614
I'm sorry, sir. Can I help you?
795
00:30:38,639 --> 00:30:41,052
Yes, you can. By helping yourself.
796
00:30:41,514 --> 00:30:44,682
Stop chasing after the
cartwheeling magician idiot boy,
797
00:30:44,684 --> 00:30:46,435
and start paying attention to the guy
798
00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:48,208
with the bountiful, beautiful hair,
799
00:30:48,233 --> 00:30:50,403
who happens to really care about you.
800
00:30:50,428 --> 00:30:52,677
(laughing): Oh, you're
friends with Marty.
801
00:30:52,702 --> 00:30:53,834
I prefer mentor.
802
00:30:53,859 --> 00:30:55,302
Ah, well, I've already told him
803
00:30:55,327 --> 00:30:56,575
I'm not interested.
804
00:30:56,673 --> 00:30:59,607
Him continuing to chase after
me is a terrible decision,
805
00:30:59,772 --> 00:31:01,840
which makes me respect him even less.
806
00:31:02,355 --> 00:31:04,355
I mean, maybe if he backed off
807
00:31:04,380 --> 00:31:05,947
and let me come to him,
808
00:31:05,972 --> 00:31:07,817
maybe I would think about it.
809
00:31:07,842 --> 00:31:09,442
Otherwise, can you tell him to stop
810
00:31:09,467 --> 00:31:12,668
with the songs and the
texts and the skywriting?
811
00:31:12,693 --> 00:31:14,026
Okay.
812
00:31:16,549 --> 00:31:18,231
What did you skywrite?
813
00:31:18,601 --> 00:31:19,833
Lyrics to the song.
814
00:31:20,053 --> 00:31:21,353
Cost a fortune.
815
00:31:21,378 --> 00:31:22,544
Oh, and it was so windy.
816
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,513
I basically paid for a cloud.
817
00:31:26,929 --> 00:31:28,495
So what's next, coach?
818
00:31:28,552 --> 00:31:30,752
What do I do? What's my next move?
819
00:31:31,630 --> 00:31:34,692
I don't know. I kind of
think we do nothing.
820
00:31:35,184 --> 00:31:38,435
I like that. Like for a
day? We slow-playing?
821
00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:40,825
No.
822
00:31:43,333 --> 00:31:45,005
I actually think forever.
823
00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:47,981
I think we got to call this one.
824
00:31:48,434 --> 00:31:49,867
Go back to dusting potatoes.
825
00:31:50,903 --> 00:31:54,497
You laugh, but who likes a dusty potato?
826
00:31:54,522 --> 00:31:56,154
Marty, Ally's right.
827
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,583
Chasing someone who isn't
into you is a terrible move.
828
00:32:00,857 --> 00:32:02,442
Trust me, I feel you.
829
00:32:02,467 --> 00:32:03,667
I've been there.
830
00:32:04,341 --> 00:32:06,387
You mean you and Rebecca Bunch.
831
00:32:07,686 --> 00:32:10,553
Your friends come in here
all the time talking about it.
832
00:32:10,578 --> 00:32:12,216
God, I hate my friends.
833
00:32:13,137 --> 00:32:14,403
Yeah, Marty, that's right.
834
00:32:14,428 --> 00:32:16,161
I did that with Rebecca.
835
00:32:16,493 --> 00:32:18,560
But watching you do it,
836
00:32:18,702 --> 00:32:20,864
I see what a bad call it was.
837
00:32:22,326 --> 00:32:23,591
Actually, I'm realizing,
838
00:32:23,616 --> 00:32:26,650
I make a lot of bad calls...
in everything.
839
00:32:27,216 --> 00:32:28,716
Yeah, me, too.
840
00:32:29,006 --> 00:32:30,488
And I think we're the same.
841
00:32:30,513 --> 00:32:34,648
I mean, I work here in a grocery store,
842
00:32:34,673 --> 00:32:36,122
even though I went to Harvard.
843
00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:38,122
The Harvard of what?
844
00:32:38,147 --> 00:32:40,435
Just Harvard. In Boston.
845
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:41,659
Wow, yeah, God.
846
00:32:41,684 --> 00:32:43,427
Your decisions are just the worst.
847
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,007
Look, I already deleted
it, so don't worry.
848
00:32:47,141 --> 00:32:49,450
And we only got one
like and it was from...
849
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,146
OMG, it's from Maxim's Hometown Hotties.
850
00:32:53,065 --> 00:32:55,065
Sorry. I'm telling you,
851
00:32:55,551 --> 00:32:57,044
it was Rebecca.
852
00:32:57,069 --> 00:32:59,324
She's been "Single White Femaling"
me since she got here.
853
00:32:59,552 --> 00:33:00,333
Valencia...
854
00:33:00,358 --> 00:33:02,810
You take one step closer,
and I'm getting a restraining order,
855
00:33:02,835 --> 00:33:03,867
Jennifer Jason Leigh.
856
00:33:04,474 --> 00:33:07,333
What I was going to say was, um...
857
00:33:08,724 --> 00:33:11,257
You were right. Yep, it was me.
858
00:33:11,258 --> 00:33:12,356
- (gasps)
- Yeah.
859
00:33:12,381 --> 00:33:15,544
It was my idea for Valencia
to put on the wedding dress,
860
00:33:15,569 --> 00:33:19,738
and then when I saw her
in it, I-I got jealous.
861
00:33:19,763 --> 00:33:23,036
And so I, uh, I stole her
phone and I posted the picture.
862
00:33:23,061 --> 00:33:24,060
I'm sorry.
863
00:33:24,085 --> 00:33:25,284
I don't believe you.
864
00:33:25,434 --> 00:33:27,802
Only someone crazy
and sad would do that.
865
00:33:27,942 --> 00:33:29,013
Um, yeah,
866
00:33:29,038 --> 00:33:31,536
and I'm both those things,
867
00:33:32,329 --> 00:33:36,030
so I'm, um, I'm sorry.
868
00:33:37,153 --> 00:33:38,450
Valencia,
869
00:33:38,849 --> 00:33:40,708
I'm sorry we accused you.
870
00:33:41,364 --> 00:33:42,954
Rebecca, you should go.
871
00:33:42,956 --> 00:33:44,956
Yep.
872
00:33:48,662 --> 00:33:50,200
Good-bye, Chans.
873
00:33:52,902 --> 00:33:55,102
(women murmuring)
874
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,036
(door opens, bell jingles)
875
00:34:08,607 --> 00:34:10,106
Before you start,
876
00:34:10,108 --> 00:34:12,175
you don't have to buy me
champagne or a fur coat;
877
00:34:12,177 --> 00:34:13,677
just a simple thank you will suffice.
878
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:14,497
Paula.
879
00:34:14,522 --> 00:34:16,731
Valencia's password was so easy.
880
00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:18,481
Valencia1.
881
00:34:18,483 --> 00:34:20,016
I mean, come on.
882
00:34:20,018 --> 00:34:21,255
Paula!
883
00:34:25,327 --> 00:34:27,989
Just get in my office.
884
00:34:35,664 --> 00:34:37,865
I told you not to do anything.
885
00:34:37,969 --> 00:34:39,434
Wait, what?
886
00:34:39,436 --> 00:34:40,970
I mean, why didn't you listen to me?
887
00:34:40,972 --> 00:34:43,169
Oh, my God, why didn't I listen to you?
888
00:34:43,508 --> 00:34:44,807
Because if I listen to you,
889
00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:46,738
nothing would ever happen with Josh.
890
00:34:46,763 --> 00:34:48,824
No Thanksgiving, no camp.
891
00:34:48,849 --> 00:34:49,744
No kiss.
892
00:34:49,746 --> 00:34:51,380
You, you didn't do all that by yourself.
893
00:34:51,382 --> 00:34:54,983
And every time you said, �No,
Paula, don't do anything.�
894
00:34:54,985 --> 00:34:57,886
And then I did anyway,
and you were happy.
895
00:35:01,425 --> 00:35:03,091
Wow, yeah, you're right.
896
00:35:04,544 --> 00:35:06,880
Okay, that's the way it used to be,
897
00:35:08,099 --> 00:35:09,589
but it's not like that anymore, okay?
898
00:35:09,614 --> 00:35:11,458
No. Paula, listen to me.
899
00:35:12,372 --> 00:35:13,267
I'm done with Josh.
900
00:35:13,269 --> 00:35:14,769
Oh, come on, I saw you.
901
00:35:14,771 --> 00:35:17,271
You can't even throw away
the macaroni portrait.
902
00:35:17,273 --> 00:35:19,263
- I threw it away. Everything's gone.
- Even Channy bear.
903
00:35:19,288 --> 00:35:21,458
Yeah. Channy bear
sleeps with the fishes.
904
00:35:23,746 --> 00:35:27,081
Nope. I can't give up on Josh.
905
00:35:27,974 --> 00:35:29,497
He's not yours to give up on.
906
00:35:29,522 --> 00:35:31,218
Why are you so hung up on this?
907
00:35:31,220 --> 00:35:33,154
It's for you. It-It's
to make you happy.
908
00:35:33,156 --> 00:35:35,036
No, it's not, because I just told...
909
00:35:35,061 --> 00:35:36,169
It's because...
910
00:35:37,685 --> 00:35:39,159
If we're not chasing Josh,
911
00:35:39,161 --> 00:35:41,495
then you're not going to want
to hang out with me anymore.
912
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,262
I know it.
913
00:35:44,270 --> 00:35:46,767
What? No. Paula, no.
914
00:35:46,769 --> 00:35:48,035
That's not true.
915
00:35:48,037 --> 00:35:49,302
Yes. Yes, it is.
916
00:35:49,825 --> 00:35:51,104
He's our glue.
917
00:35:51,106 --> 00:35:53,540
He's what holds us together, and...
918
00:35:55,033 --> 00:35:57,867
I've barely seen you this week at all.
919
00:35:58,213 --> 00:36:01,489
Paula, I love you.
920
00:36:02,177 --> 00:36:03,510
Okay, you know that.
921
00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:06,013
But we have to stop.
922
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,060
It's not good for me.
923
00:36:10,066 --> 00:36:12,533
You and I will always be
friends, okay, I promise.
924
00:36:13,780 --> 00:36:15,846
But we don't need Josh Chan.
925
00:36:17,088 --> 00:36:18,810
Because I don't need him.
926
00:36:22,588 --> 00:36:24,021
Okay?
927
00:36:24,170 --> 00:36:25,473
Okay.
928
00:36:28,176 --> 00:36:29,458
Hey.
929
00:36:36,768 --> 00:36:38,192
(sighing)
930
00:36:44,852 --> 00:36:51,185
Hey. Hi. I'm sorry, I, um, I
needed somewhere to drink,
931
00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:52,776
and I thought, I thought
you'd be at school.
932
00:36:53,011 --> 00:36:54,466
You're here.
933
00:36:54,838 --> 00:36:56,171
What'll it be?
934
00:36:56,346 --> 00:36:57,778
It's last call.
935
00:36:57,935 --> 00:36:59,335
Um,
936
00:36:59,778 --> 00:37:02,552
I guess, I don't know,
I'll take some alcohol.
937
00:37:02,577 --> 00:37:04,153
Do you know any alcohol names?
938
00:37:04,178 --> 00:37:05,577
Yes.
939
00:37:05,602 --> 00:37:09,099
I will take a peach
schnapps on the rocks?
940
00:37:09,124 --> 00:37:10,395
No, never mind.
941
00:37:10,420 --> 00:37:11,885
Never order drinks again.
942
00:37:11,998 --> 00:37:13,247
I'll make you something.
943
00:37:15,966 --> 00:37:17,294
That's a lot of books you got there.
944
00:37:17,319 --> 00:37:21,044
Yeah, I'm trying this really new
radical approach to studying...
945
00:37:21,232 --> 00:37:22,872
It's called studying.
946
00:37:24,099 --> 00:37:27,020
Wow. Is it working?
947
00:37:27,572 --> 00:37:28,716
Really well.
948
00:37:31,626 --> 00:37:33,114
This is perfect.
949
00:37:33,829 --> 00:37:34,856
What is this?
950
00:37:34,911 --> 00:37:36,177
It's this really exotic drink
951
00:37:36,202 --> 00:37:37,668
called the gin and tonic.
952
00:37:37,693 --> 00:37:40,627
Well, I've never heard
of a gin and tonic before,
953
00:37:40,652 --> 00:37:42,552
but I think it's gonna be really big.
954
00:37:42,782 --> 00:37:45,817
- I'm sending in the patent.
- (laughs)
955
00:37:46,442 --> 00:37:48,520
Hey, what are you doing after this?
956
00:37:48,545 --> 00:37:51,512
Do you want to, like, I
don't know, go to another bar,
957
00:37:51,537 --> 00:37:56,247
get a drink, or hang
out at my place, or...
958
00:37:56,755 --> 00:37:58,255
What happened?
959
00:37:58,919 --> 00:38:00,214
Did you and Josh
960
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,286
get in a fight... Is
that what's going on?
961
00:38:02,311 --> 00:38:03,724
And you need a shoulder to cry on?
962
00:38:03,749 --> 00:38:06,017
So you come to Greg,
'cause that's what I do.
963
00:38:06,042 --> 00:38:07,130
No, that's not what this is.
964
00:38:07,155 --> 00:38:09,130
Rebecca, I would really love
to hang out with you,
965
00:38:09,155 --> 00:38:12,022
I would, but I know what
that leads to for me.
966
00:38:12,047 --> 00:38:13,872
And I can't.
967
00:38:14,336 --> 00:38:16,369
I can't be in second
place again with you.
968
00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:21,224
Okay, um...
969
00:38:22,020 --> 00:38:23,161
Great.
970
00:38:23,966 --> 00:38:25,666
Um, good to know.
971
00:38:25,691 --> 00:38:27,257
I'm... I'm gonna go.
972
00:38:27,697 --> 00:38:29,231
I'm gonna go.
973
00:38:40,197 --> 00:38:41,677
(sighs)
974
00:38:46,380 --> 00:38:47,836
(knocking at door)
975
00:38:47,978 --> 00:38:49,411
Greg?
976
00:38:53,491 --> 00:38:57,786
Oh, Josh, I thought you
were someone else, I...
977
00:39:00,990 --> 00:39:03,910
What did you do? Y-Y-You
hacked into Valencia's phone?
978
00:39:03,935 --> 00:39:05,702
Y-You said you were trying
to keep your distance from me,
979
00:39:05,704 --> 00:39:06,716
a-and then you do this?
980
00:39:06,741 --> 00:39:08,466
This is how you make it up to Valencia?
981
00:39:08,491 --> 00:39:11,231
Okay, Josh, it's a long
story, but all that matters is
982
00:39:11,256 --> 00:39:12,922
Valencia is now beloved by your family
983
00:39:12,947 --> 00:39:14,599
- and I'm out of the bridal party.
- Yeah, but...
984
00:39:14,624 --> 00:39:19,270
Josh, focus on your girlfriend
and on your family, okay?
985
00:39:20,397 --> 00:39:22,106
And the next time you want
to come and talk to me,
986
00:39:22,131 --> 00:39:23,856
don't just show up at my door.
987
00:39:25,216 --> 00:39:28,634
Oh... okay.
988
00:39:29,575 --> 00:39:31,403
Yeah, okay, cool.
989
00:39:31,428 --> 00:39:33,270
Um, so could you go?
990
00:39:34,724 --> 00:39:36,965
I-I-I have something I need to do.
991
00:39:37,998 --> 00:39:39,567
Are you kicking me out?
992
00:39:40,615 --> 00:39:41,731
Lil' bit.
993
00:39:44,277 --> 00:39:46,243
Bye, Josh.
994
00:39:54,584 --> 00:39:57,317
(door opens and closes)
995
00:39:58,608 --> 00:40:00,427
I'm sorry, Channy bear.
996
00:40:10,934 --> 00:40:12,270
Hey, what's going on?
997
00:40:12,295 --> 00:40:13,099
Hi.
998
00:40:13,124 --> 00:40:15,390
You okay? What...
999
00:40:16,681 --> 00:40:18,660
No, I c... I-I can't do this.
1000
00:40:18,685 --> 00:40:20,584
I-I can't eat a dusty potato.
1001
00:40:20,609 --> 00:40:22,242
Oh, God, is that what I taste like?
1002
00:40:22,731 --> 00:40:24,769
I mean, I, I ate a, an old French fry
1003
00:40:24,794 --> 00:40:25,879
off the floor of my car, but I sh...
1004
00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:27,414
It's a metaphor. Wa... you did what?
1005
00:40:27,416 --> 00:40:28,682
It doesn't matter.
1006
00:40:28,786 --> 00:40:30,817
No, good God, stop, woman.
1007
00:40:30,819 --> 00:40:32,099
Greg, listen to me.
1008
00:40:32,688 --> 00:40:34,739
This isn't about anyone else but you.
1009
00:40:34,957 --> 00:40:36,169
Okay?
1010
00:40:36,524 --> 00:40:38,491
You're not second choice.
1011
00:40:38,618 --> 00:40:40,286
I promise.
1012
00:40:44,794 --> 00:40:46,432
Listen, if this is going to happen,
1013
00:40:46,434 --> 00:40:48,267
- you need to know something.
- Okay.
1014
00:40:48,269 --> 00:40:50,336
This isn't going to be like a
roll in the hay and you go home.
1015
00:40:50,338 --> 00:40:51,704
This is going to be like three days
1016
00:40:51,706 --> 00:40:53,966
of you and me just ruining each other.
1017
00:40:54,442 --> 00:40:55,489
And not emotionally.
1018
00:40:55,943 --> 00:40:57,005
Is that what you want?
1019
00:40:58,028 --> 00:40:59,497
When do we start?
1020
00:41:00,381 --> 00:41:02,781
1021
00:41:15,924 --> 00:41:17,457
I'm so glad we're finally doing this.
1022
00:41:17,740 --> 00:41:18,825
Me, too.
1023
00:41:19,233 --> 00:41:20,999
I mean, there's so many girls
I could have brought here,
1024
00:41:21,001 --> 00:41:23,901
like a whole bunch, but
I chose you, Ashley.
1025
00:41:24,481 --> 00:41:26,435
- It's Ally.
- Don't care.
1026
00:41:27,003 --> 00:41:30,004
Can we have sex now? Yay.
1027
00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:31,395
Oh, my God.
1028
00:41:31,578 --> 00:41:32,744
You're an idiot.
1029
00:41:33,067 --> 00:41:34,669
And you're horrible.
1030
00:41:35,356 --> 00:41:38,927
Why do I always make the same
mistake over and over again?
1031
00:41:38,952 --> 00:41:40,318
I make terrible decisions.
1032
00:41:40,343 --> 00:41:42,276
I go for the lowest form of man
1033
00:41:42,301 --> 00:41:43,901
because I'm afraid to be with someone
1034
00:41:43,926 --> 00:41:45,535
I might actually connect with.
1035
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,050
You know what? Screw this.
1036
00:41:47,075 --> 00:41:48,875
I'm going back to nursing school.
1037
00:41:48,900 --> 00:41:50,474
Wait, do you want me
to do another cartwheel?
1038
00:41:50,499 --> 00:41:51,950
I'm-I'm-I'm good at those.
1039
00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:53,700
Whatever.
1040
00:41:53,889 --> 00:41:55,689
She'll be back.
1041
00:41:55,934 --> 00:41:57,100
They always come back.
1042
00:41:57,929 --> 00:41:59,294
(slurping)
1043
00:41:59,919 --> 00:42:04,560
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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00:42:04,610 --> 00:42:09,160
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