All language subtitles for Crashing s03e01 Jaboukie.eng

-(GASPS) Oh my God! Peter!
-Sweetest.

What?! Who is this?

I'm sorry, I should have grabbed
a bigger towel.

My wife slept
with somebody else today.

-WOMAN: Oh boy,
go write some jokes. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Great live comedy tonight.

PETE:
I'm going through a divorce,

I'm kind of floating around.

-Oh, you're homeless.
-No--

-Do you have a home?
-No...

ARTIE LANGE: Don't put your face
in this pillow,

bad shit happened
to this pillow. (CHUCKLES)

PETE HOLMES: So much of my life,
I was afraid of God.

-Maybe I missed out.
-Really? You?

I could use a drink, yeah!

I think you should take me home.

(LAUGHS)

Mmm!

You're the second person
in my entire life

-I've ever made love to.
-Oh my God.

I feel like I sinned.

Ooh, sounds to me like
you are expanding your mind.

The whole point of New York

is you can like bounce around
to different spots.

-He's funny, right?
-He'll be funny in three years.

I'm trying to get
into the college market.

I just submitted a tape to NACA.

NACA changed my life.
I book 80 colleges,

I haven't had a real job since.

-NACA! (CHEERING)
-Aah! (CHEERS)

You've got six so far,
and I'm working on more.

You're my new show pony.

(AUDIENCE CHANTS)
Roast! Roast! Roast!

News flash, Pete.
Jesus isn't coming back,

-and neither is your wife.
-Ooh!

I don't know
how I walk away from that

and just forget it.

What kind of comedian
can't take a joke?

-I don't want to date.
-Nice.

I packed up my stuff,
I can't go back to Artie.

I can't go back to my roommate.

You know what you need to do.
You gotta go back to your life.

Seriously, dude.
You gotta get outta here.

-It's time.
-Yeah.

? ?

(as Al Pacino):
I'm Al Pacino here to tell you

to take exit 5-0-0.

5-0.

? Get free from the middleman ?

? You got no time
for the messenger ?

? Got no regard for the thing
that you don't understand ?

I, uh, I'm not a big ladies man.

I don't even have sex
in my dreams-- that's true.

-I can't seal the deal
in my dreams. -(women laugh)

I hit on women
in real life, they're like,

"In your dreams,"
I'm like, "No."

(laughter)

"Not even there."

? ?

(vocalizes):
Eh!

? ?

You ever just been
in your dorm room, watching a movie alone?

It gets really funny, and you're
kind of locked in the movie

and you forget that
you're by yourself

and you have that
first little laugh--

just you, just like...
(chuckles)

And then you turn to the friend
that should be there.

And you're just...
(guffaws)

"I'm so alone."

Hi. Miss Tyree.

-Oh, hi!
-I'm one of the administrators.

-So nice to meet you.
-You were funny, really funny.

Well, thank you.

What do you do now?

(vigorous moaning)

(as Al Pacino):
? My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard ?

? And they're like,
"Hey! It's better than yours" ?

? They're like, "Whoo-ah!" ?

? ?

When you bring me up,
would you just make sure

"Pete Holmes"
is the last thing you say?

Just like,
"Yadda, yadda, yadda,

clubs and colleges...
Pete Holmes."

Then I'll come out.
That's important.

-Okay, but I'm not
introducing you. -What? What do you mean?

Last month,
we had a student comedy competition

and first prize was
opening for you.

(stammers)
I have an opener?

(audience murmuring)

(quietly):
What's up, man?

-Hey. Pete.
-Hey, what's up?

Yeah. Jaboukie.
I saw your YouTube stuff.

-You did?
-Yeah, you're super funny.

-Oh, I'm so glad
we're doing this. -Yeah, I'm super excited

that this was able
to, like, work out.

-I don't know if you
had a say in anything. -No, this was a surprise.

But this is a good surprise.

I've been on the road
for weeks and weeks.

-Oh.
-I'm like just-- I mean,

it's great to do a show
with another comic.

I'm not, like, a professional
comedian or anything.

I'm still kind of new.

-How old are you?
-I'm 20.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Jeez, man...
that's awesome

I'm 33.

Cool.

I feel like more straight
people should use Grindr.

(laughter)

If you don't know
what that is, that's a gay dating app.

Uh, just because, like,
gay people get a lot of,

like, consent talk
out of the way, up top, on Grindr, like,

"What are you into?

When was the last time
you were gonna get tested?

Are you the top or the bottom?
Blah, blah, blah."

We, like, establish
a lot up top.

But for straight people
on dating apps, it's just sort of like,

-"Mmm, I like
pizza and memes." -(laughter)

Or like, "Here's a picture of me
holding a fish," like...

(laughter)

It took me a while
to come out to my family,

just because
my parents are Jamaican

and homophobia is our
second-best Olympic sport, so...

that definitely
took a minute, um...

But I feel like parents always
kind of know that stuff, though.

And I could tell, because my dad
would give my brothers advice,

and my dad would
tell my brothers,

"Find a gal that
makes you feel

like you don't deserve her,"
which is beautiful.

He would just tell me,
"Don't do cocaine."

(laughter)

And I have, so, like,

what's up, Daddio?
You know? Um...

But also, like, me and my
brothers were just, like,

so different from each
other growing up, like,

both my brothers are,
like, taller than me,

they're fitter than me,

they carry themselves
with confidence, you know?

But I'm like small, pale,

I carry myself like
an inbred European prince.

(laughter)

But I know I'm not ugly.

(laughter)

I know that.

Like, on a one to ten scale,
I don't think I could, like, model,

but I could definitely end
a Republican senator's career.

(laughter)

Pete:
That was a fucking great set.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

Thanks, yeah,
I appreciate it.

Dude, what are you
doing in Maryland?

Going to college.

-Yeah, but...
-(chuckles)

You're three hours from
the greatest comedy scene...

-In the world.
-...in the world.

Orlando, Florida.

(laughing)
No, no! Manhattan!

You're three hours
from Manhattan, you should--

How often are you getting up?

-Like once or twice a month.
-That-- that's what I'm saying.

So you're this good
going up that infrequently?

Imagine how good you'll get
when you're really doing it.

It's all who you know.

You know, you ever
get to the city, look me up.

I-- I can save you
five years of bullshit,

get you in the right places.

-Anytime, really.
-I'm serious.

So am I.

I'm not doing shit here,
like, truly.

I'm majoring in Philosophy,
like, I don't fucking do anything.

-I made three Pringles bongs
this week, alone. -That's kind of impressive.

Thank you, I feel
like I'm in prison. (laughs)

I'm leaving tomorrow morning.
You want a ride, you can--

I have a place.
You can crash at my place, we'll do spots.

-Okay. Yeah, I'm down.
-Really? Are you serious?

-Yeah, no, I'm serious.
-I'm fucking serious.

-I'm down to go.
-I could use some fucking company.

You can drive?
Can you drive?

-Candy is the best.
-It really is.

-It's made by science.
-Yeah, to be fucking delicious.

Someone with a PhD was like,
"What does the mouth want?"

-(laughs)
-We've got it.

-Pete: Skittles?
You ever have a Skittle? -Skittles.

The rainbow kingdom.

Pete (laughs):
Yes.

Can I ask why you
got into comedy?

-You seem...
you seem pretty normal. -(laughs)

-I mean, you know
what I mean. -Yeah.

-Like, we're-- we're
a bruised people. -Yeah.

-What happened to you?
-Um...

I feel-- It was just, like,
a result of my surroundings, kind of?

I grew up in this, like,
low-income, black neighborhood.

I went to this, like,
rich, white school,

and... I just felt, like,
I don't know, growing up,

like, "funny" was
a more stable identity

than whatever I had to do
to, like, go back and forth between that.

So I just, like, was, like,
"Okay if I'm the funny kid,

then I'm the funny kid
no matter where I am."

'Cause, you know--
And it's also, like, nobody funny-bashes.

-You know?
-(laughter)

Like, no one is
gonna attack you

for doing bits
in a conversation.

I wish there wasn't
any bashing.

That'd be ideal, but then
I might not be a comedian, so...

Have you ever been
to The Cellar?

Um, no, I've seen,
like, videos of it.

That's where, like, Schumer
goes up with, like, Madonna.

-Yeah. Right?
You never know. -Right.

You never know
who's gonna go up.

Sometimes it's Schumer,
you might follow Chappelle,

Rock--
it's all the best ones.

Like, even getting
an audition at the Cellar?

I mean, it's huge.
It's a really, really big deal.

-Wow.
-So somebody vouched for me, I get to go up--

even that, it's like,
it's just an honor to be nominated.

But if I kill,
and everybody kills,

you get in-- now I'm doing
two-to-three spots a night,

instead of two-to-three
spots a week.

-Wow.
-The right people see me,

I get a late-night spot,
maybe I get a half-hour,

maybe I get an hour,
maybe I tour,

maybe I open
for somebody, I mean...

-Dude, that's awesome!
-It's incredible.

-That's really cool.
-I mean...

I don't want to say
New York's my town,

but it's kind of, you know,
it is, it's my town.

? ?

-? Can I kick it? ?
-? Yes, you can ?

Okay, come in.

Okay.
Pretty nice.

Yeah, I'm never
here as you can tell.

It's basically
just a crash pad.

-? Can I kick it? ?
-? Yes, you can ?

? Can I kick it? ?

Obviously,
that's The Cellar.

Uh-huh.

-Around the corner
is The Boston. -Uh-huh.

It's in New York,
but they call it The Boston.

That's where I started out.

That's where a lot
of the greats start out.

(audience laughing)

-Hey!
-Ho! Petey!

-What's going on?
-Hey, buddy!

-Back from the-- back
from the college tour, right? -Yeah. Oh my God!

It's so good to be back!
How are shows, selling?

Oh, it's great! Yeah!
It's, um... It's actually doing well, you know?

-Good!
-You know this Comedy Cellar around the corner,

everybody's showing up
to see whether or not

one of the disgraced
comedians are gonna

come back and make
an appearance, and, uh,

they fill up, people find their
way over here. Overflow, baby!

-That's great!
-Yeah, it's cool. We're selling some tickets.

-Good.
It's good to be back. -Yeah.

-This is Jaboukie.
-Jaboody?

-Jaboukie, with a "K."
-Jaboukie.

- Star Wars?
-He opened for me on my coll--

-well, one of
the college shows. -Oh yeah?

I just wanted to show
him the old haunt, that's all.

(laughing):
"Old haunt." All right, hotshot.

Nah, listen, it's good
to see you. Come on in.

Comedian:
I had to call for a cab to the airport and I said,

"Uh, hey, can I get a taxi

to LaGuardia at noon tomorrow?"

And the guy goes,
"Okay, bye!"

(laughter)

Hey, maybe don't hang up
the phone just yet.

(laughter)

Aren't you supposed
to ask me for my address,

tell me how much this is going
to cost, or, I don't know,

do anything at all
to convince me

a transaction has just been
made over the telephone?

(laughter)

Here's the weirdest part:
he showed up!

(laughter)

Pretty popular guy.

I, uh, I gotta
say hi to somebody.

Real quick.
I'll be right back.

Comedian:
I'm in a relationship now.

I have a girlfriend who is...
(continues indistinctly)

Hey.

Hey.

Okay.
Good to see you.

That was weird, sorry.

I'm, uh, I'm back.
I'm back.

-In the flesh.
-Yeah.

It's good to see you.

Mmm-hmm.

How are you?

Well, I'm
at The Boston, so...

It's not so bad.
I was in Maryland this morning.

Mm.

I bet they didn't
pay you in fries.

I'm, uh--

Yeah, I'm done with
colleges for the summer.

I'm excited to get back into
the New York scene, you know?

I'm nervous, but, I mean,
I'm excited, too, I think.

Um, hey, Pete, uh,

I'm not trying to be
callous, but...

I don't care.

Comedian 2:
Hey, what's up, everybody?

Clap your hands, right?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry...

about, I-- the whole
thing, I mean...

it was shitty.

I didn't mean
to break up with you

on a street corner,
after a show.

Okay.

I really am sorry.

Hmm, I kind of
felt it that time.

Congrats on being
a human being.

Hey, thanks.

What's happening here?
What is this?

What the fuck is
that jacket?

I'm trying something new.

It's G-Star.

Are you sure you should
be wearing that?

You're neither
a G nor a star.

(laughing)

? ?

Is this it?

-This is it.
-Okay.

Crazy, right?

This is my--
Uh, Kev!

-Hey! What's up?
-What's up, man?

This is, uh,
this is Jaboukie.

Jaboukie, this is Kevin,
my manager.

-Hey, what's up?
-What's up?

Nice to meet you.

You want to head in?
I'll meet you down there?

-Yeah, just, uh--
-Yeah, the white one.

-What's up, man?
-How you doing?

-I feel great.
Thanks for being here. -Yeah?

-You ready?
-Yeah.

Do you have
your set list?

Yeah.

You sure you're ready?

Yeah.

Good, because if you fuck
this up, the door closes.

-Yeah, I'm gonna--
-Yeah, have fun.

-I want you
to have fun. -Okay.

-Oh, hey!
-Hey!

What's going on?

Uh, just did a spot.

Here?

-Yes.
-Holy shit!

-Yeah!
-I didn't know you were passed.

-Oh, I mean...
-Wow!

I do, like, one spot every,
like, two weeks or something.

That's crazy.

(stammering):
I, uh... it's my audition.

-I'm auditioning tonight.
-Cool.

Yeah, I would love it
if you could, uh, stay.

Uh, yeah, I'll try
to stick around and watch.

-I mean, great!
-Yeah!

-I would love that! Yes!
-All right, well have fun! Yeah, yeah!

-Right. Bye-bye.
-Okay, see you later.

-Peter! How are
you, brother? -Pete!

Oh my gosh,
you both made it!

-Jess: Yeah.
-I'm so glad.

It's so good to see you.

We just got back
from two weeks in Tulum.

-Tulum?
-It was magical.

-Tulum?
-Yeah.

We swam with baby tortugas.

-Wow!
-Leif: Oh God, Peter,

it took us
to the next level, man.

-Without putting
any labels on it. -Yeah.

So you-- you guys are,
like, together now?

-Oh, I mean...
-We are.

We just are.

But are... are you
dating other people?

-No, I'm not.
-No, me too.

So you guys are--
that's great-- you're together!

That's how you see it.

Leif:
Peter, don't put us in one of your boxes.

-But you look good!
-Yeah, are you excited?

-I am, yeah.
-Okay.

I feel like I've been
training for a marathon, so...

Not that I've ever run
a marathon, but, you know--

Yeah, I do know.
I have run a marathon.

Well, not a marathon,
26 miles. Just because--

that's the road that
was in front of me.

-You're gonna do great.
-Man: Artie! Hey!

I just saw somebody that
I'm very excited to see.

-I'm gonna--
Thank you for coming. -Cool.

-I'll see you after.
-Leif: Yeah.

Artie!

Hey, hey, hey!

-What's up, man?
-Hey, buddy, good to see you.

Jeez, look at you!

Hey, it's good to see
you guys! This is fun!

Yeah, Pete, is that
a camouflage jacket?

Yeah, it's G-Star.

-What, were you in
the Cupcake Wars? -(chuckles)

-Thank you for your sacrifice.
-Estee, I'm-- I'm Pete.

-Who?
-Pete Holmes.

-I'm auditioning
for you. -Pete Holmes,

the guy I was
telling you about.

The tall drink of milk.
Funny kid.

-Artie vouched for me.
-I did.

-You're going on after Elon.
-Okay.

Five minutes, light at four.
Don't go over.

-I aim to please.
-Artie: Just like sex.

Yeah, yeah.
It's really great to meet you.

Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.

-All right, Pete. We got it.
-Thank you again.

-Take a walk.
-All right.

-Okay, see you.
-See ya later, Pete.

? ?

? ?

? ?

-I had a stroke, man.
I had a stroke. -(laughter)

No, that's not funny.
Don't laugh at that shit.

Who's fucking laughing?

And one thing I learned
about having a stroke and being in New York:

Nobody gives a fuck
about your stroke,

that's for sure.

You walk down the street, they,
"Get the fuck out the way!"

"What the fuck, man?"

"Get the hell
in the stroke lane!"

"What the fuck is
a stroke lane, man?"

(laughing)
And then... and then you gotta cross that street!

That long-ass street
with the countdown--

the light with
the countdown on it.

It starts counting down,
and my heart starts racing.

Oh, shit!
What the fuck!

-17... 16...
-(laughing)

All of a sudden, I'm in a race
with an old bitch in a walker.

15...
(panting)

(laughter)

All right, man. Y'all ready
to keep this show going, man?

Let's hear this shit, man!

-(cheering)
-Come on, man, we got more show.

Got a special guest spot
coming-- stopping past.

Very funny guy.

Clubs and colleges
all around the country.

Give it up for Pete Holmes!
Come on, man! Pete Holmes!

-Pete!
-(cheering)

Thank you!

Wow, Keith Robinson!
Keep it going for Keith.

(cheers)

Wow, look at this.
Look at that.

I don't know.
I don't know Comedy Cellar,

you know, if I'm gonna--

You might have to put
in a skylight for me.

This isn't right.

You guys pee in the pool?

Clap your hands
if you pee in the pool.

-Don't be afraid.
-(applause)

Pee. No pee.
Pee. Pee. No pee.

All the no pee-ers,
you gotta pee in the pool.

It is one of the truest
acts of freedom

you can do as a human adult.

To stand up to here in water,
three feet away from a stranger,

just like, "What's going on?"

(laughter)

(laughter continuing)

"Let's get closer."

We used to pee so much
in the pool when I was a kid,

they actually went so far as
to put a chemical in the water

that would make the water
turn red if you peed in it.

Anybody else have a pool
that did this?

We used to try
and frame kids.

We'd swim up to them real
close, pee, then swim away.

They'd get kicked out.

But the best thing to do was
to go on the high-dive,

the highest diving board
they had,

run off, pee your pants
in mid-air.

When you hit the water,
do the dead-man's float.

-The water turned red.
-(laughter)

Everyone thought you exploded.

-(laughter and applause)
-Thank you, guys, very much! What a thrill!

Comedy Cellar!
Woo! Thank you!

(cheers and applause)

? ?

Keith:
All right. Give it up for Pete Holmes, man!

-Woo!
-Audience: Woo!

-Jaboukie!
-Dude, that's so good!

-Man!
-Like, for real, you killed it.

I fucking--
They're right there, they're right there.

-They're so good!
That was amazing! -Yeah. Yeah, great job!

Thank you!

What's going on?
What are you-- What's going on?

Oh! Uh, um...

I actually hit up the person
that I knew in New York,

and they ended up
getting me a spot.

You-- here? Here?

Yeah, I'm shocked, too. Yeah.

Oh my God!
Dude, who?

Michelle Wolf.

She's, like, college friends
with my sister, and I saw her.

You hit up
Michelle Wolf?

Yeah, uh, she--

I, like, saw her last
Christmas or whatever.

Dude, that's amazing.
You should have told me.

I want to meet
Michelle Wolf.

-Yeah, she's cool.
-Right?

-Yeah, she's cool.
-She's cool!

It's just a guest set,
but they're amazing.

You're gonna fucking kill.

-Yeah? They're good?
-It's amazing!

Yes! Look at us, man!

Yesterday morning,
we were at Goucher College.

Now, big-time.

-This is what I said
we'd do-- lighting it up! -Right. Yeah.

I'm proud of you.
I'm happy for you.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up
for Jaboukie Young-White!

(cheering and applauding)

Come on, man! Jaboukie!

Jaboukie:
What's up? What's up?

Michelle fucking Wolf.

What's up? I'm multiracial.
Anybody multiracial?

-Anybody? Yeah, yeah!
Awesome! -(cheers)

Um, I am, and it's
kind of weird, though,

'cause, like, I've noticed
that my race changes from city to city

in, like, a weird way.
Like, when I'm in Chicago,

people just think that
I'm half black, half white.

When I'm in New York, people
think that I'm Puerto Rican.

But when I'm in CVS,
everyone thinks I'm stealing.

(laughter)

Which is, like, really
frustrating, 'cause I am.

I don't know how to drive.
I can't drive,

so I just gotta,
like, Uber everywhere, like, if I need to drive.

And for the first time,
the other day, I had an Uber driver

that had a 3.8 rating.

Like, are you murdering people?

(laughter)

What's going on?

I, like, got out the car,
like, zig-zagged into my apartment,

just in case
he, like... (blows)

-Just like, "Aah!"
-(laughter)

Just, like, blow-darts me,
takes my phone,

gives himself five stars.

(laughter)

These drivers be thirsty.

(laughter)

? I just never took the time ?

? You were always on my mind ?

? You were always
on my mind ?

Hello. Pete.

Thank you.

-Thank you.
-Sure.

(in Italian accent):
Pellegrino.

So...

So.

You're not ready.

Really?
I... I thought I killed.

I mean, they...
I killed.

No.

A strong bomb is better
than a weak kill.

Is there... Sorry.
What? What?

Who are you, why are you,
and why now?

I have plenty of white guys
talking about nothing.

Is it-- is there
something, I mean--

Look, it didn't
do anything for me.

-Estee!
-Oh hi, Greer!

-How are you?
Sit down, sit down. -Good. Good.

-How was it?
-Oh, it was fantastic.

-Wanda Sykes stopped in.
-Estee: Really?

-Yeah, she did well.
-Estee: I don't expect anything less from her.

? ?

Jaboukie:
My go-to. The only thing that stays the same

is the fact that I get followed
in like every CVS, basically.

And every city
has a CVS.

-Exactly! So it works.
-Hey, man.

-Uh, what's going on?
What's up? -Hey, what's up?

-Uh, Estee, this is,
uh, this is Jaboukie. -I know.

He, um, he's my opener.
I mean, one time.

So, um, send me your avails.
You can e-mail them,

-or you can
text me, okay? -Okay.

-My number is 917...
-917.

-439...
-439.

Okay, you're gonna-- Okay.

Ali:
Actually, it's pretty good pizza--

Oh, hey! Pete!

Hey!

? That was a good set! ?

Are you fucking with me?

No, it was really good.
Why? What'd she say?

She said no!

She said a bunch
of fucking riddles,

and then she said no.
It's a no.

Oh, I'm really sorry.

-What?
-This must be a big moment for you.

This is your
I-told-you-so, right?

-What?
-Everything you said: I'm fucking corny,

I'm not an artist, I'm not one
of the cool kids, right?

What the fuck are
you talking about?

I'm not rooting
against you, okay?

I hate to break it to you,
but I'm not invested in you on that level.

I just wanted to tell you
that you had a good set, because you fucking did.

So relax, and quit being
a fucking little bitch.

-Well, clearly I didn't have
a fucking good set. I didn't. -You did! I watched you!

So what, you didn't
get passed, it's fine!

This has been six months,
do you understand?

-It kept me fucking--
-Oh my God! Six months! Ha!

You don't know what it's like.
I'm on the fucking--

-I don't know
what it's like? -Yes, you don't!

I fucking wasted, like,
half the year for this! I...

-I'm sorry.
Thank you for coming. -I'm-- I really am sorry!

You were great.
I think you got screwed.

I appreciate...
I appreciate the support.

Keith:
I haven't seen that type of look in her eyes

since '92 when
Chappelle went on stage.

-Jaboukie: Yo!
-Yeah, no bullshit, man.

And she had that look
like, "Oh!"

You know what I mean?

And it pissed me off,
to be honest with you.

Jaboukie. Jaboukie!

Let's go, man,
I called the Uber.

-All right. No problem, man.
-Yeah, thanks, man.

You definitely should've
gotten a spot, too.

Like, I don't know what

was going on with that lady
or whatever, but...

No, man, you were great.
That was a great set.

-You're really fucking funny.
-Um, thanks, but like, I mean,

that was, like, a fluke,
you know, I probably couldn't

-do that again
if I had to. -Don't.

Don't downplay it.
You'll kill next time.

I'll be fine. You did--

I just want to get
the fuck out of here.

-Come on.
-I'm actually gonna hang back if that's cool?

It's just, like, I'm never
really in New York, so like...

-Yeah. No, okay.
-Yeah.

-I really appreciate it.
-Have fun.

Fuck.

? ?

-Artie--
-I saw the set.

Motherfucker, don't fuck
with me right now. I'm serious!

I can't fucking take this
right now, okay?

Okay, you're clearly upset.
Let's work through this.

? ?

? Psycho therapy,
Psycho therapy ?

? Psycho therapy ?

? That's what they
want to give me ?

Ooh!
(chuckles)

So what'd she say?

She said I don't do
anything for her.

The kid's done it,
like, five times!

It's aggravating,
but just get over it.

He fucking
jumped the line, okay?

I've been grinding
it out, it was my turn!

He can't just swoop
around me!

This is the game.

You gotta get over
this mountain,

and especially
in New York City, it's important.

I mean, look, the booker thinks
you're a hack, I'm sorry.

You vouched for me!

I've been know to make
a lot of bad decisions.

-Look at these goggles.
-Artie, I thought I was helping him, he didn't need me at all.

Welcome to life, man. You picked
the wrong kid to mentor, dude.

You mentor somebody
who stinks,

and you let him
sleep on the couch.

-Thanks. That's-- that's nice.
-Is that all right?

Ah, I know it's bullshit,
but, honestly, I'm sorry buddy.

There's ups and downs.
And look at me.

Is there any more proof
that things can get better?

? ?

Ha!

? ?

? All I am is all I need ?

? These city boy blues
and these suicide queens ?

? And I said what I said
'cause I love you so much ?

? Now I'm pulling these wires
on the cross city bus ?

? 'Cause tonight, tonight,
tonight, tonight ?

? Yeah, tonight, tonight,
tonight, tonight ?

? All I want is
what I can't take ?

? But tonight, tonight
tonight, tonight ?

? ?

? All I am is all I know ?

? And it's drugstore love
for these drugstore girls ?

? And I just
want to feel ?

? What can
never be sold ?

? And I don't
wanna die in a nuclear war ?

? Tonight, tonight,
tonight, tonight ?

? Tonight, tonight,
tonight, tonight ?

? Every fire,
the fires inside ?

? But tonight, tonight,
tonight, tonight ?

? Tonight, tonight,
tonight, tonight ?

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