All language subtitles for Bon Voyage (1962)

- * BON VOYAGE

* BON VOYAGE

* HAVE A GAY HOLIDAY
AND DON'T FORGET TO WRITE *

* BON VOYAGE

* AU REVOIR *

* TAKE IN ALL OF THE SIGHTS
AND OOH-LA THOSE NIGHTS *

* STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK,
SAILING DOWN THE SEINE *

* KISSING ON THE EIFFEL TOWER
IS TRES PARISIE *

* LIVE IT UP

* DO IT ALL

* HAPPY TRIP,
HAVE A BALL *

* ALL ASHORE
THAT'S GOING ASHORE *

* BON VOYAGE

- TRAVELER'S CHECKS?

- TRAVELER'S CHECKS.

- CREDIT CARDS?

- CREDIT CARDS.

- PASSPORT?

- PASSPORT.

- BAGGAGE TAGS?

- BAGGAGE TAGS.

- EVENING GOWN.

- DINNER JACKET.
- DANCING SHOES.

- SEASICK PILLS.
- CANCEL THE MILK.

- PUT OUT THE CAT.
- LOCK THE HOUSE.

- WHERE IS THE CAT?
[cat meows]

- * BON VOYAGE

* BON VOYAGE

* HAVE A GAY HOLIDAY
AND DON'T FORGET TO WRITE *

* BON VOYAGE

* AU REVOIR *

* TAKE IN ALL
OF THE SIGHTS *

* AND OOH-LA-LA
THOSE NIGHTS *

- * DANCING IN MARSEILLES

- * HOLDING HANDS IN ROME

- * ROMANCING
ON THE CONTINENT *

* IS TWICE AS NICE AS HOME

- * TO CHAMPAGNE

- AVEC POTAGE.

- SOUP?

- L'ESCARGOT.

- SNAILS?

- ET FROMAGE.

- CHEESE?

- * ALL ASHORE
THAT'S GOING ASHORE *

* BON VOYAGE

* BON VOYAGE

* BON VOYAGE

* BON VOYAGE

*

[whistle blowing]

[tires screech,
air horn blows]

- THERE IT IS.

- SKIPPER.

- OH, I JUST KNOW.

I KNOW SOMETHING'S
GOING TO WAKE ME UP,

AND WE'LL STILL BE AT HOME
IN TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA.

- FIRST TIME ACROSS, RIGHT?
I CAN ALWAYS TELL.

- I GUESS WE ARE
KIND OF EXCITED.

MY WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN
PLANNING ON THIS TRIP

EVER SINCE
WE GOT MARRIED,

BUT SOMETHING
ALWAYS CAME UP, YOU KNOW,

UH, BABIES, BILLS, BANK LOANS.
[laughs]

- DAD, I REALLY DON'T THINK
THE DRIVER IS INTERESTED

IN OUR PERSONAL
FAMILY HISTORY.

- OH, I DON'T MIND.

ANYTHING'S BETTER
THAN SITTING UP IN FRONT

TALKING TO MYSELF.

[tires screech]

- OUR TRIP TO EUROPE--

THE GREAT FAMILY MYTH,
AS ELLIOTT CALLS IT.

FINALLY COMING TRUE
RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES.

YOU BELIEVE IT NOW, ELLIOTT?

- SO WHAT?

- GOSH, MOM, DO YOU REALIZE
THAT I'VE WATCHED YOU DREAM

ABOUT THIS TRIP
SINCE I WAS A BABY?

- HAS IT REALLY BEEN THAT LONG?

- ARE YOU KIDDING, MOM?

THE FIRST THING
I CAN EVER REMEMBER

IS PLAYING WITH YOUR COLLECTION
OF TRAVEL FOLDERS.

- YOU KNOW WHY
WE HAD TO POSTPONE IT.

FIRST, ONE THING CAME ALONG
AND THEN ANOTHER.

- MM-HMM, SUCH AS ME FIRST
AND THEN ELLIOTT.

- I THOUGHT WE REALLY
HAD IT MADE AFTER THE WAR.

EVERYTHING WAS ALL SET,
AND THEN...

- OKAY, OKAY, I KNOW.

- SKIPPER, DARLING,
YOU WERE THE NICEST SURPRISE

ANYONE EVER HAD.

[tires screech]

[horns honking]

- THANK YOU.

- NOW, LET'S EVERYBODY
STAY TOGETHER.

[laughs] THERE'S NOTHING
TO GET EXCITED ABOUT.

HERE, LET ME TAKE THAT
FOR YOU.

EVERYBODY KNOWS
WHAT HE'S SUPPOSED TO DO.

NOW, SKIPPER, YOU COUNT
THE BAGS, RIGHT?

- DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, POP.

JUST MAKE SURE SOMEBODY ELSE
DOESN'T GOOF OFF.

- OH, ELLIOTT.
DON'T WANDER.

WELL, NOW, THEN, UH,
LET'S DOUBLE-CHECK EVERYTHING,

JUST TO BE SURE.
HOLD THIS, WILL YOU?

NOW, WE'VE, UH, GOT
THE BOAT TICKETS RIGHT HERE.

THE PASSPORT'S RIGHT IN HERE.
THE PASSPORT!

I HAD THE PASSPORT
RIGHT IN HERE.

- DON'T PANIC, DADDY.
IT'S RIGHT HERE IN MY PURSE.

YOU LEFT IT
ON THE HOTEL BUREAU.

- OH, I DID?
[laughs]

WELL, LET'S ALL
STAY TOGETHER NOW

AND KEEP COOL HEADS.

- HARRY, WHAT DID YOU DO
WITH MY MAKEUP KIT?

- I THOUGHT YOU HAD IT.

- YOU JUST TOOK IT FROM ME.

- OH, THAT'S RIGHT, I DID.

- THE PORTER'S GOT IT.

- OH, WELL.

- WELL, HAVE YOU PAID
THE CAB YET?

- OH, NOT YET.
- [laughs]

- I'LL GET IT, MOM.
- SKIPPER, SKIPPER, WAIT.

- THERE YOU ARE.

- BUD, WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
TO YOU FROM HERE ON,

I WOULDN'T GO THROUGH
FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.

- OH, WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT
AS SOON AS WE GET ON BOARD

AND GET SETTLED DOWN.
HERE YOU ARE.

- THANKS.

- HERE YOU ARE.
- OH, THANKS.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

- DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'D BETTER FIND SKIPPER?

- OH, I THOUGHT--
I THOUGHT YOU HAD HIM.

- NO, NO, HE WENT IN THAT DOOR
DOWN THERE, DARLING.

- SKIPPER!
SKIPPER!

- ELLIOTT!
WHY DO THEY KEEP RUN--WAIT!

- AMY, AMY!

- ELLIOTT, ELLIOTT,
GO FIND YOUR BROTHER.

- GREAT START, POP.
PARDON ME.

- DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR, PLEASE.
WOULD YOU LET HIM OUT, PLEASE?

- EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME.

- THERE'S NO EXCUSE FOR ANY
OF US TO FALL APART HERE.

- OH.

- NOW, YOU WAIT FOR ME, KATIE.
DON'T GO RUNNING OFF.

- HARRY!
HARRY, OVER HERE, DEAR.

- KATIE, I'D APPRECIATE IT
IF WE'D JUST STAY TOGETHER.

- YES, DEAR.
UH, WE GO OVER THERE.

- OH.

BOY, I CAN'T WAIT
UNTIL WE GET ON BOARD

SO WE CAN SETTLE DOWN
AND RELAX.

- MM-HMM.

- HEY, HEY, HEY!

- THANK GOODNESS WE DON'T KNOW
ANYBODY IN NEW YORK,

SO WE WON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE
BON VOYAGE PARTIES.

- MM-HMM.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"MM-HMM"?

- WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING
THAT THERE MIGHT BE

SOME WELL-MEANING RELATIVES
WHO MIGHT--

- KATIE, I THOUGHT--
I THOUGHT YOU PARENTS SAID

THEY COULDN'T BE HERE?
- YES, THEY DID.

BUT BOSTON ISN'T
THAT FAR AWAY.

HARRY, WOULD YOU DO ME
A FAVOR?

WILL YOU LOOK PLEASANT
WHEN YOU GO INTO THE STATEROOM?

- OH, KATIE, YOU KNOW
I DON'T LIKE PARTIES.

I'M JUST NO GOOD AT DRINKING.

- YOU'RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING
ABOUT PARTIES.

AND THEN IT'S YOU THAT WINDS UP
HAVING ALL THE FUN.

- NEXT.

- UH, W-WHERE'S AMY?

SHE'S GOT THE PASSPORT,
HASN'T SHE?

- UH, SHE'S OVER THERE
TALKING TO THAT YOUNG MAN.

- WHERE THE DEVIL
DID SHE MEET THAT FELLOW?

- PROBABLY IN THE ELEVATOR.

- HOW COULD SHE POSSIBLY
MEET SOMEONE

DURING A TEN-SECOND
ELEVATOR RIDE?

I'VE BEEN RIDING IN ELEVATORS
ALL MY LIFE.

I NEVER MET ANYONE.

- HE LOOKS RATHER NICE.

- THAT'S PROBABLY
WHAT HE DOES--

HANGS AROUND ELEVATORS
ALL THE TIME.

THEY HAVE A NAME
FOR HIS KIND--

ELEVATOR LURKERS.

- OH, DON'T BE SILLY, HARRY.

HE'S ONE OF THE PASSENGERS.

- KATIE, SOMETIMES
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

HERE A FELLOW
PICKS UP YOUR DAUGHTER

RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE,
AND YOU'RE VERY CALM ABOUT IT.

- WELL, BOYS
HAVE TO MEET GIRLS.

THAT'S THE WAY
THE WHOLE THING WORKS.

- WELL, MAYBE THAT'S THE WAY
THE WHOLE THING WORKS,

BUT I DON'T LIKE IT.

- OH, YOU'VE BEEN
A NERVOUS WRECK

EVER SINCE AMY TURNED 14.

AND I THINK SHE TAKES CARE
OF HERSELF BEAUTIFULLY.

- YOU CALL THAT TAKING CARE
OF HERSELF BEAUTIFULLY?

WE TURN OUR BACKS
FOR ONE SPLIT SECOND,

AND HERE'S SOME YOUNG SPOOK
MASSAGING HER ARM,

AND AMY LOOKING UP AT HIM
AS IF HE WERE--

- SHH.
THEY'RE COMING OVER.

- MOM, DAD, I WANT YOU
TO MEET NICK O'MARA.

HE'S GOING OVER
ON THE SHIP WITH US.

- HOW DO YOU DO?

- HOW DO YOU DO?
HOW DO YOU DO, SIR?

I MUST APOLOGIZE
FOR SPEAKING TO YOUR DAUGHTER,

BUT AFTER ALL,
SHIPBOARD INFORMALITY

IS TRADITIONAL, ISN'T IT?

- UH, A TRADITION
OF THE SEA, DADDY.

- AND FOR ALL
PRACTICAL PURPOSES,

WE ARE ALMOST ABOARD SHIP NOW,
DON'T YOU AGREE?

- YES, FOR ALL
PRACTICAL PURPOSES.

- NEXT.

- OH, UH, AMY, COULD I HAVE
THE PASSPORT, PLEASE?

- OH, YES.

- THANK YOU.

- AMY.
- OH.

- UH, FAMILY PASSPORT, HUH?

FINE.

WHERE ARE THE OTHERS?

- OH, THE TWO BOYS
WILL BE HERE IN A MINUTE.

- SORRY, YOU'LL HAVE
TO STAND ASIDE.

I HAVE TO FIT THE FACES
TO THE PASSPORT.

- OH.
- NEXT.

- I KNOW THE CHIEF PURSER
RATHER WELL.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO--
- YEAH, WOULD YOU HOLD THIS?

I'LL GO AND SEE IF I CAN FIND
THE TWO MISSING FACES.

AND, MOTHER, YOU AND AMY
STAY HERE, PLEASE?

- UH, I'LL GO LOOK
FOR THE PURSER.

- ELLIOTT.
WAIT A MINUTE.

DID YOU FIND HIM?
- NO.

- NOW, LOOK,
THE PASSPORT DESK

IS RIGHT AT THE TOP
OF THOSE STAIRS.

YOUR MOTHER AND AMY
ARE UP THERE.

NOW YOU GO UP AND JOIN THEM.
AND STAY THERE.

- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT.

SKIPPER.

SKIPPER, GET OFF OF THERE.

- HI, POP.
ANYTHING WRONG?

- NO, NO.
- I GOT IT RIGHT HERE.

HEY!
- WAIT, WAIT, HOLD IT!

WAIT, WHOA.
- HEY, THIS IS NEAT.

- WELL, YEAH,
YOU JUST HANG ON, THAT'S--

- WE'VE GOT TO DO IT
BY THE RULES.

- RULES AND REGULATIONS.
I ONLY SEE--

- THAT'S FOUR AND FIVE.

ALL FACES PRESENT
AND ACCOUNTED FOR, CORRECT?

- OKAY.

MRS. WILLARD.

- THANK YOU.

- GREAT START, POP.

- WHOOPS.
[laughs]

SORRY.

[indistinct singing
in the distance]

[indistinct chatter]

- HARRY, YOU OLD RASCAL.
- WELL.

- I WONDERED IF MY SON-IN-LAW
WAS EVER GOING TO SHOW UP.

- HOW ARE YOU, MR. BIDWELL--
UH, HORACE--

I MEAN, DAD?

- WELL, HOW DO YOU
LIKE IT, HUH?

YOU DIDN'T THINK
I WAS GOING TO LET

MY LITTLE DAUGHTER
GO OFF TO PARIS

WITHOUT A PARTY,
DID YOU?

- NO, NO, I GUESS
DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART, I DIDN'T.

- I JUST TOLD HER MOTHER

I'LL GATHER UP SOME
OF KATIE'S OLD SCHOOL CHUMS,

A HALF A DOZEN OR SO
OF HER OLD SUITORS,

AND WE'LL LET KATIE KNOW
WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN HER.

[laughs]

- [chuckles] WELL, IT'S--
IT'S VERY NICE OF YOU, DAD--

HO-HO-HORACE--
I MEAN, MR. BIDWELL.

- YOU KNOW, HARRY,

I GUESS NONE OF US
WILL EVER FORGIVE YOU

FOR STEALING OUR LITTLE GIRL
AND TAKING HER OUT

TO THAT, UH, TERRE HAUTE
OR WHATEVER IT IS OUT THERE.

- IT'S, UH, TERRE HAUTE, SIR.

AND IT REALLY ISN'T TOO BAD.

WE, UH, HAVE THE INDIANS PRETTY
WELL UNDER CONTROL BY NOW.

- [laughs]
- AND WE HAVE TELEVISION.

AND WE GET UP TO CHICAGO
FOR A WEEKEND NOW AND THEN,

SO, UH...
- CHICAGO.

WELL, WHY NOT?

- OH.

[indistinct chatter]

- GREAT GIRL, THAT KATHERINE.

- YEAH, SHE'S A GREAT GIRL,
ALL RIGHT.

- HAVE YOU KNOWN HER LONG?

- UH, A FEW YEARS.

- I TOOK KATHERINE
ON HER VERY FIRST DATE.

DO YOU BELIEVE IT?
- WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?

I'VE HAD A FEW DATES
WITH KATHERINE MYSELF.

- KATHERINE WAS NEVER
A RAVING BEAUTY, BY ANY MEANS,

BUT SHE WAS HANDSOME.

YES, UH, THAT'S THE WORD
FOR KATHERINE--HANDSOME.

- I'D SAY SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.

- YOU'RE NOT FROM BOSTON,
ARE YOU?

- NO, NO, I'M NOT.

- I THOUGHT I'D NEVER
SEEN YOU AROUND.

- MY NAME'S WILLARD.
HARRY WILLARD.

- YOU DON'T SAY.

- WILLARD?

SO YOU'RE THE ONE!

- YES, I'M THE ONE.

- WELL.

WELL.

- MAVIS, DON'T TELL ME
YOU DIDN'T KNOW.

SHE MARRIED A PLUMBER
OR A PLUMBING CONTRACTOR

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
OUT WEST.

- OH, CAN YOU IMAGINE?

A GIRL LIKE THAT WITH HER
EDUCATION AND BACKGROUND.

OH, I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO KNOW
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

- WOULD YOU REALLY?

WELL, I'D JUST LOVE
TO TELL YOU,

BECAUSE I JUST HAPPEN TO KNOW
THE WHOLE STORY.

- YOU DO?
- YES, I DO.

ACTUALLY, IT SEEMS THAT ONE
SUMMER KATHERINE WENT

OUT TO THIS TERRE HAUTE PLACE

TO VISIT A COLLEGE FRIEND
OF HERS, HARRIET FEDLING.

AND THIS WILLARD FELLOW, WELL,
HE'S IN PLUMBING, YOU KNOW.

- YES, WE KNOW.

- OH, YOU KNOW THAT.

WELL, ANYWAY HE MET KATHERINE
AT THE FEDLING HOME,

AND, UH, WELL, HE JUST FELL
FOR HER LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.

BUT SHE COULDN'T SEE HIM
FOR DUST.

WELL, ONE EVENING
THEY WERE GOING TO HAVE

ONE OF THOSE WIENER ROASTS,
YOU KNOW HOW THEY DO?

I GUESS THERE JUST ISN'T
TOO MUCH TO DO

AROUND A PLACE
LIKE TERRE HAUTE.

AND HE FINALLY MANAGED
TO TALK KATHERINE

INTO GOING WITH HIM.

WELL, OF COURSE, KATHERINE
CALLED IT A WIENER ROAST,

AND HE CALLED IT
A WIENIE ROAST.

[laughs]

[both laugh]

WELL, THEY GOT INTO
A BIG ARGUMENT ABOUT THAT,

AND, UH, SO TO SHUT HER UP,
I KISSED HER,

AND SHE KISSED ME BACK,
AND WE GOT MARRIED.

THAT'S ABOUT THE WHOLE STORY
IN A NUTSHELL.

CHEERS.
[laughs]

- [whispering indistinctly]

- WHOOPS!
[laughs]

SORRY.

[singing indistinctly]

WHOOPS!
HA HA, SORRY.

*

- POP!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING,
BUT IT LOOKS VERY SILLY.

- WELL, ELLIOTT,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING

SITTING OUT HERE
ALL BY YOURSELF?

NOTHING WRONG IN THERE.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

GO BACK TO YOUR PARTY.
DRINK.

BE HAPPY.

I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

- OH, COME ON, NOW, ELLIOTT.

SNAP OUT OF IT.

THIS IS OUR TRIP.
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING FUN.

- FUN?
OH, THAT'S IRONIC.

IT'S TRULY IRONIC.
- WHAT'S WRONG, SON?

YOU CAN TELL ME.

- DAD, LET'S NOT DO THE
MAN-TO-MAN-TALK BIT NOW, OKAY?

I-I COULDN'T TAKE IT.

- OH, LOOK, THE SHIP'S CRAWLING
WITH PRETTY GIRLS.

GO AND FIND YOURSELF A GIRL.
- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, POP.

YOU JUST DON'T
UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.

- I WISH YOU'D STOP TALKING
LIKE I'M FROM MARS OR SOMETHING.

WHAT DON'T I UNDERSTAND?

- SIMPLY THIS--I'M NOT
INTERESTED IN OTHER GIRLS.

I'M DEEPLY, BEAUTIFULLY IN LOVE
WITH A VERY FINE PERSON.

TOGETHER, WE MIGHT HAVE HAD
A CHANCE FOR HAPPINESS.

TOGETHER, WE--
- WAIT A MINUTE.

ELLIOTT, ARE YOU TALKING

ABOUT THAT SCRAWNY HAMILTON KID
BACK HOME?

THE ONE WITH THE FLOPPY BANGS
THAT CALLS ME "CHUM"?

- DAD, IF WE CAN'T DISCUSS RUTH

WITH THE RESPECT
TO WHICH SHE IS ENTITLED,

I'D RATHER WE DIDN'T
DISCUSS IT AT ALL.

- OH, NOW, ELLIOTT.

- MAY I HAVE A SIP
OF YOUR CHAMPAGNE, PLEASE?

- WELL.
- THANKS.

- NOW, LOOK, ELLIOTT.

I DON'T WANT TO GET ANGRY
WITH YOU ON THIS TRIP.

I WANT TO BE PATIENT.

- I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING, POP.
- WELL, THANK YOU.

NOW, LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY.

IF I'D HAD A CHANCE
TO TAKE A TRIP TO EUROPE

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
I'D HAVE BEEN OVERCOME WITH JOY.

- IS THERE STILL TIME FOR ME
TO GET OFF THE BOAT?

- ALL RIGHT, SUPPOSE I SAID,
"GO AHEAD, GET OFF THE BOAT."

WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

- I'D HOP THE FIRST TRAIN
BACK HOME.

- OH, NOW.
- DO YOU MEAN I CAN?

- ELLIOTT,
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME.

NOTHING OR NOBODY
IS GOING TO SPOIL THIS TRIP

FOR YOUR MOTHER.

SO IF YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO CHEER UP,

YOU'D BETTER
GET OFF THIS SHIP,

AND YOU'D BETTER
GET OFF RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE IF YOU PULL
THIS LONG-FACE HOCUS-POCUS

AFTER WE SAIL, I'M GOING
TO THROW YOU OVERBOARD.

- ALL VISITORS ASHORE, PLEASE.
ALL VISITORS ASHORE.

ALL VISITORS ASHORE, PLEASE.

[air horn blows]

- YAHOO!

YIPPEE!

WE'RE ON OUR WAY, POP.

YAY!

- HANG ON.
- YAHOO!

- LIBERTY--
GIVEN BY THE PEOPLE OF FRANCE

IN FRIENDSHIP AND BROTHERHOOD
TO THE PEOPLE

OF THE UNITED STATES
IN THE YEAR 1884.

FUNNY, ALL THE THINGS
I'VE READ ABOUT THAT STATUE,

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE SEEN HER...

IN, UH, PERSON, THAT IS.

WELL, MOTHER, WHAT DO YOU SAY

WE TAKE A LITTLE STROLL
AROUND THE DECK?

HOW ABOUT, UH, AFT?
- ALL RIGHT.

- OH.

- THAT'S, UH, QUITE A SIGHT,
ISN'T IT?

- YOU KNOW, ALL THE TIMES
I'VE BEEN ACROSS,

I STILL GET A CHARGE
OUT OF THE OLD GIRL.

- I GUESS YOU'VE BEEN
BACK AND FORTH QUITE A LOT.

- IT'S HIS 13TH CROSSING.

AND ALREADY NICK SAYS
IT'S HIS LUCKY ONE.

HIS MOTHER LIVES IN PARIS.
SHE'S A CONTESSA, IMAGINE.

AND HE WENT TO SCHOOL THERE
PART OF THE TIME.

HIS FATHER--HIS REAL FATHER,
THAT IS, LIVES IN NEW YORK

AND IS MARRIED
TO A FAMOUS PAINTER.

- YOU MUST LEAD QUITE
AN INTERESTING LIFE, MR. O'HARA.

- O'MARA, FATHER--
NICHOLAS O'MARA.

HE'S AN ARCHITECT.
- OH.

- WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

I JUST FINISHED
MY GRADUATE WORK AT YALE.

- OH, WITH HONORS
AND OFFERS FROM ALL SIDES.

AND HIS SKETCHES WON SOME VERY
IMPORTANT PRIZE IN NEW YORK.

HE'S GOING OVER
TO VISIT HIS MOTHER NOW,

BUT IF EUROPE LOOKS
AT ALL INTERESTING THIS SEASON,

HE MAY DO SOME FIELD STUDIES
OVER THERE.

- MY, WE CERTAINLY KNOW
A LOT ABOUT YOU,

DON'T WE, MR. O'MARA?

- IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE
TO SHOW AMY AROUND THE SHIP.

- WELL, UH...

HE DID SAY YALE, DIDN'T HE?

- HARRY, SOME OF THE SWEETEST
BOYS I KNEW WENT TO YALE.

I HOPE SKIPPER ISN'T GETTING
INTO ANY TROUBLE.

- OH, FORGET SKIPPER.
THE ONE I'M WORRIED ABOUT IS--

- YOUR CHIN IS HANGING, HARRY.

WELL, THERE'S ONE GIRL
WHO WON'T CALL YOU CHUM...

CHUM.

- HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

AND I WAS FEELING
SORRY FOR HIM.

- [chuckles]
ELLIOTT ENJOYS SUFFERING.

WHY DON'T YOU RELAX?

- [chuckles]
ALL RIGHT.

AS THE TRAVEL FOLDERS SAY,
WHEN YOU STEP ABOARD

THIS MAGNIFICENT
LUXURY LINER,

DULL CARE
WILL MAGICALLY VANISH.

ANXIETIES DISAPPEAR.

YOU WILL LIVE FIVE, LOVELY,
LAZY, CAREFREE DAYS AFLOAT.

[both chuckle]

I'M SORRY YOU HAD
TO WAIT SO LONG, KATIE.

- OH, DARLING, THIS IS ONE

OF THE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT
MOMENTS OF MY LIFE.

- YOU KNOW THE MOST WONDERFUL
THING ABOUT THIS TRIP?

IT'S GOING TO GIVE ME A CHANCE
TO GET REACQUAINTED

WITH MY FAMILY.

WHAT WITH WORK AND ALL,
I HAD THE FEELING

I WAS NEGLECTING YOU ALL.

- NONSENSE, DARLING.
YOU'VE BEEN A WONDERFUL FATHER.

- I FIGURED OUT A FEW THINGS
THAT MIGHT BE FUN

FOR ALL OF US
TO DO THIS MORNING.

- OH, I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE
TO COUNT ME OUT, DADDY.

I'VE GOT A DATE WITH NICK
AT 9:30.

- OH.
- BYE, MOM.

- BYE-BYE.

- WELL, I GUESS--
- THAT REMINDS ME.

I BETTER CRANK UP
AND FIND THAT EAST INDIAN GIRL.

I WANT TO GET IN SOLID WITH HER
BEFORE SOME SHARP OPERATOR

GETS A HOLD OF HER.

- SHE'S VERY LOVELY, ELLIOTT.

- YEAH, KIND OF MYSTERIOUS
AND SPIRITUAL.

THAT STUFF
DOES SOMETHING TO ME.

HEY, DAD,
YOU MAY BE RIGHT

ABOUT THAT RUTH HAMILTON,
AFTER ALL.

NEXT TO THIS GIRL,
SHE DOES SEEM KIND OF CLUNKY.

- AS YOU CAN SEE ALREADY,

TRAVEL IS BEGINNING TO BROADEN
ELLIOTT'S OUTLOOK.

- YES.
- [laughs]

- WELL, MOTHER,
WHAT DO WE DO THIS MORNING?

I'M NOT GOING TO NEGLECT YOU.
- OF COURSE YOU'RE NOT.

I WON'T LET YOU.

I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT
TO GET MY HAIR WASHED.

- OH, YOU KNOW,
WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE ALL GOING TO RUN OFF
AND LEAVE ME?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

- WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS SKIPPER.

YOU SAID YOU WANTED TIME
TO KNOW HIM BETTER.

THAT'S RIGHT, FATHER AND SON
SHOULD BE BETTER PALS.

WHERE IS SKIPPER?

- WELL, HE MUST BE SOMEPLACE
ON THE SHIP.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO WALK ME
TO THE BEAUTY SHOP?

- SURE, YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?
- NO.

- WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU.

GOT A LAYOUT OF THE SHIP
RIGHT HERE.

- OKAY, POP.

- OH, ALL SET, BOY?

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, NOW,
DON'T BE AFRAID.

JUST TRY TO HIT ME
AS HARD AS YOU CAN.

COME ON.

[groans]

- GEE, I DIDN'T HURT YOU,
DID I, POP?

- NO, DON'T--DON'T BE
SILLY, SKIPPER.

HOW COULD A LITTLE FELLOW
LIKE YOU

HURT A BIG FELLOW
LIKE ME?

[laughter]

THERE, THAT'S--
THAT'S A VERY GOOD JAB.

GOOD.
GOOD, SKIPPER.

THERE YOU GO.
CATCH IT.

- NICE CATCH.

- ALL RIGHT, GET THAT ONE.
HERE.

- GET THIS ONE.

- OH, WHOA.
[laughs]

[breathing heavily]

OH, OH.

[sighs]

[laughs]

- [laughs]
SILLY.

OH, WE'RE NOT GOING
TO ENGLAND.

FIRST PARIS
AND THEN THE RIVIERA.

- WAIT TILL YOU GET TO PARIS.
YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE IT THERE.

YOU REALLY ARE.

HEY.

THERE YOU ARE.

- THANKS.

- IN CANNES,
THE BEACH IS BEAUTIFUL.

YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN
ANYTHING LIKE IT.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THAT FELLOW O'MARA?

[both laughing]

- SEARCH ME.

HE'S NO DIFFERENT
FROM THE OTHER CREEPS

AMY GOES WITH BACK HOME.
READY?

GET THIS ONE!
- OH.

[laughs]
A LITTLE HIGH!

- COME ON, LET'S GO!

- OH!

ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
LET IT GO.

- OKAY.

- ATTA BOY.

OH, OH.

I'LL GET IT.

[cracking]

OOH!

OH, THAT'S NICE.
EASY.

OH, JUST TAKE IT EASY.
OH.

OH!

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THANKS, FELLOWS.

IT'S AN OLD FOOTBALL INJURY.

I GOT IT IN THE PURDUE GAME.

- SKIPPER, YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A SWIM?

THEY GOT A PRETTY GOOD POOL
IN THIS TUB.

- YEAH, SKIP, WHY DON'T YOU?

- NO, THANKS, FELLOWS.
I GOT TO PLAY WITH MY POP.

- OKAY.
SO LONG.

- SO LONG, FELLOWS.

- NOW, YOU TAKE
THIS MODERN GENERATION,

THE SO-CALLED
YOUTH OF AMERICA...

- ONE SPADE.

- PASS.

WHERE MODERN PARENTS GO WRONG
IS THEY'VE FORGOTTEN

THE GOOD
OLD-FASHIONED PRECEPT,

"SPARE THE ROD
AND SPOIL THE CHILD."

- JUDGE.

- [mumbling]

TWO CLUBS.

- THREE HEARTS,
JUDGE HENDERSON.

- THREE SPADES.

- HARRY.

HARRY?
- OH, IT'S MY BID, ISN'T IT?

I PASS.

- PASS.

- THREE NO-TRUMP.

- AS I WAS SAYING,
IN ALL THE 32 YEARS

I SPENT ON THE BENCH,
THERE NEVER WAS

A WAYWARD BOY OR GIRL
BROUGHT BEFORE ME

THAT I COULDN'T
TRACK THE CAUSE

TO SOME MISERABLE, INEPT,
SLACK-HANDED PARENTS.

HOW SAY YOU, WILLARD?

- UH, GUILTY.
[laughs]

I MEAN, UH, I-I PASS.

- HOW MANY CHILDREN
DID YOU SAY YOU HAVE, JUDGE?

- I'M SORRY TO SAY,
MRS. WILLARD,

WE HAVE NEITHER
CHICK NOR CHILD.

DOUBLE.

- RE-DOUBLE.

- I THINK I'LL GO OUT
AND STRETCH MY LEGS.

I'M A LITTLE TWINGEY
FROM THAT WORKOUT TODAY.

- YOU KNOW WHAT THE TROUBLE
WITH MOST PEOPLE IS?

THEY CAN'T DISTINGUISH
BETWEEN SHIPBOARD ROMANCE

AND THE REAL THING.

NOW, AS FOR MYSELF...

- MRS. WILLARD.

- OH.
OH, YES.

- 200 FOR DOUBLED.
YOU RE-DOUBLED.

- RE-DOUBLED.
- KATIE.

- OH, HARRY,
WE WON RE-DOUBLED.

- FINE, NOW LET'S TURN IN.

- WELL, WHAT'S THE HURRY?
IT'S SO EARLY.

- KATIE, WE'RE GOING.

GOOD NIGHT, JUDGE HENDERSON,
MRS. HENDERSON.

- GOOD NIGHT.
- GOOD NIGHT.

- FORCEFUL DEVIL.

- WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

WHAT IN THE WORLD'S
COME OVER YOU?

- KATIE, WHAT HAVE YOU TOLD
AMY ABOUT THINGS?

- THINGS?

- YES, YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT--

THINGS.

- OH.

WELL, I'VE ALWAYS ANSWERED
EVERY QUESTION HONESTLY,

OR AS HONESTLY
AS I COULD.

- BUT WHAT HAS SHE ASKED YOU?

- OH, SHE'S ASKED ME...

- WHAT HAS SHE ASKED YOU?

- SKIPPER'S STILL AWAKE,

AND HE'S GOT EARS
LIKE A FOX, YOU KNOW.

- KATIE, WILL YOU PLEASE
STOP STALLING?

- OH, I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT.

INCIDENTALLY, HAVE YOU DISCUSSED
THINGS WITH ELLIOTT?

- ELLIOTT IS ANOTHER SUB--
- SHH!

- HE'S ANOTHER
SUBJECT ENTIRELY.

- WELL, IF YOU ASK ME
ELLIOTT NEEDS

A LOT MORE HELP
THAN AMY.

DID YOU SEE HIM TONIGHT?

- OH.

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT NICK O'MARA

THAT RAISES MY HACKLES.

HE ADMITS HE WENT TO YALE.

- NOW, HARRY.
- I KNOW.

SOME OF THE SWEETEST BOYS
YOU KNEW WENT TO YALE.

- AMY CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF.
- YEAH.

AND I THOUGHT THE ONLY THING
WE HAD TO WORRY ABOUT

ON THIS TRIP WAS TO MAKE SURE
EVERYBODY DRANK BOTTLED WATER.

- WELL, IF YOU PROMISE
NOT TO MENTION IT AGAIN,

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING
THAT AMY TOLD ME

NOT THREE MONTHS AGO.

- WHAT DID SHE TELL YOU?

- SHE SAID THAT
SHE HAD NEVER MET A YOUNG MAN

WHO STIRRED HER UP.
- WELL, IS THAT BAD?

- WELL, I WAS BEGINNING
TO WORRY ABOUT IT.

- TO WORRY?

- YOU DON'T THINK WE'VE BEEN
TOO STRICT WITH HER, DO YOU?

- I DO NOT.
- WILL YOU STOP BARKING?

- I'M SORRY.

- I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAVE
TO START PICKING ON POOR AMY.

I COULD UNDERSTAND
YOUR CONCERN ABOUT ELLIOTT.

DARLING, YOU'RE GETTING
ALL WORKED UP OVER NOTHING.

- OVER NOTHING?

- I THINK YOU'RE
A TEENY BIT TIRED

FROM ALL THE THINGS
YOU'VE BEEN DOING WITH SKIPPER.

- A TEENY BIT TIRED?

A TEENY BIT TIRED!

KATIE, I DON'T KNOW WHY I SHOULD
TRY TO HIDE IT FROM YOU.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN
SO EXHAUSTED IN MY LIFE.

I ACHE IN EVERY BONE
IN MY BODY,

FROM THE SCALP OF MY HEAD
TO THE SOLES OF MY FEET.

- WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE?

COME ON.
- HMM?

OH.

THANK YOU.

OH, THAT'S GOOD.

KATIE.
- HMM?

- DID YOU EVER READ
STATE FAIR,

YOU KNOW, THE BOOK?

- YOU JUST RELAX.

- IT'S ABOUT A FAMILY.

ALL THEY DID WAS GO
TO A STATE FAIR.

THE KIDS GOT ALL TANGLED UP
IN LOVE AFFAIRS.

- NOW DON'T START
IMAGINING THINGS.

- THAT WAS JUST A PLAIN,
ORDINARY IOWA STATE FAIR.

HERE WE ARE ON OUR WAY
TO EUROPE.

BOY, OH, BOY,
OH, BOY, OH, BOY.

- HARRY, I LOVE YOU.

SOMETIMES I THINK
IT'S A MIRACLE, YOU AND I.

I HONESTLY DO.

HARRY.
- [snores]

WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WHAT?

- HI, MOM!
- SHH!

- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH POP?
- NOTHING, DARLING.

BUT IT'S OUR LAST
FULL DAY OUT.

MAYBE WE OUGHT TO LET
HIM RELAX.

- YOU MEAN I DON'T HAVE TO PLAY
WITH HIM TODAY?

- NO.
- YIPPEE!

YIPPEE!

LET'S GO!

- OH, I M-MUST HAVE DOZED OFF.

I'VE GOT TO GO
AND PLAY WITH SKIPPER.

- WELL, HARRY,
SKIPPER DIDN'T WANT ME

TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT YOU'VE
WORN HIM OUT COMPLETELY

THE LAST FEW DAYS.

- WHAT?

- WELL, YOU SEEMED TO BE HAVING
SUCH A GOOD TIME,

HE DIDN'T WANT
TO SPOIL YOUR FUN.

- [chuckles]
THAT'S GREAT.

I DIDN'T STOP BECAUSE
I DIDN'T WANT TO SPOIL HIS FUN.

- SKIPPER MUST LOVE YOU
VERY MUCH

TO LET YOU RUN HIM AROUND
LIKE THAT.

- [chuckles]
OH!

WELL?

- WELL, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN
TO THAT PART YET.

- AH, YOU WILL.

- OH, GOOD MORNING, SIR.

- OH, GOOD MORNING.

- MAY I HELP YOU?

- UH, I'D LIKE SOMETHING
IN THE WAY

OF A MYSTERY, I GUESS.

I'D LIKE TO READ ABOUT
SOMEBODY ELSE'S TROUBLES

FOR A CHANGE.
- [chuckles]

VERY GOOD, SIR.

WE HAVE ANY NUMBER
OF STIMULATING ITEMS

IN THAT CATEGORY.

I RATHER LEAN TOWARD THE
INTELLECTUAL-TYPE CRIME, MYSELF.

NOW, IF YOU'LL ALLOW ME
TO SUGGEST--

- WELL, I'LL FIND SOMETHING.
THANKS VERY MUCH.

- WELL, JUST AS YOU SAY, SIR.

OH, AND, UH, GOOD HUNTING.
- THANK YOU.

- OH, GOOD MORNING, DADDY.

- WELL, HI, SWEETHEART.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
STUDYING?

- MM-MM.
- OH.

YOU'RE, UH, SUDDENLY INTERESTED
IN ARCHITECTURE, HMM?

- MM-HMM.

YOU KNOW, DADDY,
YOU'VE GOT A LOT IN COMMON,

YOU AND NICK.

- HOW DO YOU MEAN?

- WELL, NICK'S BEING
AN ARCHITECT,

AND YOUR BEING, WELL,
SORT OF A BUILDER.

- HONEY,
I'M A PLUMBING CONTRACTOR.

- WELL, YOU WORK
WITH ARCHITECTS.

- WELL, THAT'S TRUE.

- DADDY, SIT DOWN.

WHAT DO YOU REALLY THINK
OF NICK?

- WELL--
- YOU LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU?

- WELL, YES.
- YOU DO?

I WISH I COULD SAY
THE SAME FOR NICK.

HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU AT ALL.

- WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

- OH, OH, NOT YOU
SPECIFICALLY, I GUESS,

ONLY PEOPLE LIKE YOU--

SORT OF DULL, RESPECTABLE PEOPLE
WITH FAMILIES AND SO FORTH.

- OH, I SEE.
- HE SAYS THAT--LET IT RIDE.

- NO, GO ON,
I'M SLIGHTLY INTERESTED.

- WELL, NICK SAYS THAT EITHER
PEOPLE ARE HYPOCRITES,

JUST PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY
AND ALL THAT,

OR ELSE, NICK SAYS,
THEY'RE DELUDING THEMSELVES,

AND THAT'S EVEN WORSE.

- WELL, HE'S CERTAINLY
A SUNNY CHARACTER.

- YOU HAVE TO KNOW NICK
TO UNDERSTAND HIM.

- NO, THANKS.

- I KNEW IT.

I KNEW YOU HATED HIM.

- I DIDN'T SAY--

- YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND,
THAT'S ALL.

HIS FATHER JUST
GIVES HIM MONEY

AND THEN PUSHES HIM OFF,
AND HIS MOTHER'S EVEN WORSE--

DIVORCED TWICE
AND MARRIED THREE TIMES.

AND YET NICK WON'T SAY A WORD
AGAINST EITHER OF THEM.

- BUT HE DOES ADMIT
HE'S NOT CRAZY ABOUT ME.

- NICK'S A LONELY BOY, POP,

EVEN IF
YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT,

SINCE WE'VE ALL BEEN SO LUCKY
IN OUR FAMILY.

SOMETIMES NICK
JUST BREAKS MY HEART.

I WISH I'D NEVER MET HIM.

AND THAT'S TRUE.

- DID YOU FIND
YOUR MYSTERY, SIR?

- YES.

IT'S CALLED "THE CASE
OF THE PUZZLED PARENT

"WHO CAN'T UNDERSTAND
WHY HIS CHILDREN

KEEP SAYING
HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND."

- HMM.

THAT'S AN ODD-ISH TITLE.

- HEY.

- DID YOU PAY ENOUGH RANSOM
TO GET US OFF THE SHIP?

- WELL, I TIPPED
THE ROOM STEWARD,

THE DINING-ROOM STEWARD,
THE DECK STEWARD,

THE GYM INSTRUCTOR,
AND SEVERAL OTHERS.

IF ANYONE SMILED AT ME,
I-I HANDED THEM MONEY.

- [laughs]
BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.

[speaking French]

NOT A PICTURE
IN A GIRDLE AD,

NOT A MOVIE
IN GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOR,

BUT THE REAL GENUINE ARTICLE.

- AND WHO IS THAT
LONE, TRAGIC FIGURE?

- ELLIOTT ISN'T HAPPY
THIS MORNING.

- SHARMA'S BEEN LOCKED
IN HER CABIN BY HER FATHER.

HE COULDN'T EVEN
SAY GOOD-BYE TO HER.

- WELL, THAT'S NOT
A BAD WAY TO HANDLE

A GIRL THAT AGE, EITHER.

STILL, IN ALL, I DON'T THINK
IT WOULD WORK WITH AMY, DO YOU?

- WELL, I'D LIKE
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT AMY.

- WELL, I'M LISTENING.

- WE PROMISED
WE'D TELL EACH OTHER

EVERYTHING
ABOUT THE CHILDREN, RIGHT?

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- WELL, THIS IS
THE KIND OF A THING

A GIRL REALLY COULDN'T TELL
HER FATHER.

IT'S SOMETHING THAT SHE
WOULD HAVE TO DISCUSS

WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

- OH.
WELL, GO ON.

- WELL, YOU PROMISE
NOT TO GET ALL WROUGHT UP?

- I WILL NOT
GET ALL WROUGHT UP.

- OKAY.

- KATIE, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE,

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING
TO TELL ME, TELL ME.

- HEY, POP!

THE BOAT'S GOING TO DOCK SOON!

- YES, WELL,
RUN ALONG FOR A FEW MINUTES,

WILL YOU, SKIPPER?

YOUR MOTHER AND I
ARE DISCUSSING SOMETHING.

- WELL, HURRY UP, HUH?
- YES, WE WILL.

WELL, KATIE?

- WELL, SKIPPER'S RIGHT.
THIS COULD WAIT UNTIL LATER.

- KATIE, I AM NOT STIRRING
FROM THIS SPOT

UNTIL YOU TELL ME
WHAT HAPPENED.

- WELL, AMY TOLD ME
SHE DISCOVERED

SHE HAD A WARM-BLOODED NATURE
AFTER ALL.

- WELL, WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"AFTER ALL"?

- I DIDN'T KNOW THIS,
BUT ALL THIS TIME,

WHEN AMY WAS GOING AROUND
WITH THOSE BOYS BACK HOME,

SHE--I'M AFRAID
SHE HAD THE REPUTATION

OF BEING SORT OF A COLD FISH.

- NOW, LOOK HERE, KATIE--

- WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS

AMY FOUND OUT,
TO RESPOND TO A BOY,

SHE HAD TO HAVE
SOME GENUINE FEELING FOR HIM,

LIKE NICK O'MARA.

WELL, I THINK THAT'S QUITE
AN ACCOMPLISHMENT,

FINDING OUT SOMETHING
LIKE THAT.

- SURE, IT'S QUITE
AN ACCOMPLISHMENT

FOR THAT PUNK O'MARA.

I'M GOING TO FIND HIM AND--
- HARRY.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
- NOW, DON'T YOU START.

- BUT DON'T YOU SEE
IT'S IMPORTANT

THAT AMY'S FOUND OUT
SHE'S A VITAL,

WARM-BLOODED YOUNG WOMAN?

AREN'T YOU GLAD?

- GLAD?

- BUT I THINK THE BOY
HAS HER A LITTLE PUZZLED.

- WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
ONE THING.

HE DOESN'T HAVE ME PUZZLED.
- WELL, NOW, WAIT.

- I THINK I'LL HAVE
A LITTLE TALK WITH MR. O'MARA.

- HARRY WILLARD,
YOU LISTEN TO ME.

NOW, DON'T YOU GO JUMPING IN

WITH YOUR
TWO BIG GALUMPHING FEET

AND DRAMATIZE THE SITUATION.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- WELL, WE HAVE TO TRUST AMY.

AMY WOULDN'T LET
ANYTHING HAPPEN,

AND SHE DIDN'T THINK NICK WANTED
ANYTHING TO HAPPEN EITHER.

- OH, HE DIDN'T, HUH?

- WELL, THAT'S WHY
THEY'VE BEEN SO QUIET TODAY--

JUST WALKING AROUND
NOT SAYING A WORD.

IT'S KIND OF SAD AND TOUCHING.

- TOUCHING?
- CERTAINLY.

AMY TOLD ME THAT THE BOY
IS SO MIXED UP,

HE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT HE WANTS OUT OF LIFE.

HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE,
FOR ONE THING.

- OH, SOME SURPRISE.

- OH, I FEEL
KIND OF SORRY FOR HIM.

AND SO DOES AMY.
- OH.

- MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THE WHOLE
THING AMOUNTS TO--PITY.

- OH, SURE.

- WELL, THEY'RE SAYING
GOOD-BYE NOW,

AND THAT'LL BE
THE END OF IT.

- THE END OF IT?

- YES, NICK'S GOING
ON TO LONDON.

- TO LONDON?

WELL, FOR PETE'S SAKE, KATIE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO
IN THE FIRST PLACE?

WHAT ARE WE WORRYING ABOUT?

AMY WILL SNAP OUT OF IT
ONCE WE HIT PARIS.

COME ON, LET'S GET OFF THIS.

- OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CITY.

- YOU MEAN WHAT A BEAUTIFUL
TOMATO PATCH.

I HAVE A FEELING THAT MY LIFE
IS JUST ABOUT TO BEGIN.

[whistle blows]

[tires screech]

- GOLLY...

YOU MISSED HIM.

- DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THE TRAFFIC, DARLING.

JUST PRETEND
YOU'RE ON THE ROLLER COASTER

BACK HOME
AT INDIAN LAKE.

HAVE FUN.

- OKAY, I'M HAVING FUN.

DRIVER, YOU'VE GOT A BEAUTIFUL
CITY HERE, ALL RIGHT.

- MM-HMM.

- IT'S JUST AN IDEA, BUT MAYBE
IF YOU SLOWED DOWN A LITTLE,

WE COULD SEE IT BETTER.

- [speaking French]

- WHAT'S THE FRENCH WORD
FOR "SLOW DOWN"?

- HARRY, LOOK AT IT NOW.

ISN'T IT MAGNIFICENT?

[horn honks, tires screech]

- I GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU.

YOU SURE HANDLE
THIS LITTLE, UH, THING.

[horn honks]
LOOK OUT!

[tires screeching]

LOOK, LET'S TAKE IT
A LITTLE EASY, COULD WE?

- [speaking French]

- OUI, OUI, OUI, OUI.
WHAT DID HE SAY?

- HE'S SAYING SOMETHING
ABOUT DON'T POINT,

IT MAKES HIM NERVOUS.

- OH, IT MAKES HIM NERVOUS?

HEY, THERE'S SOME PEOPLE.

LOOK OUT!
[horn honking]

[tires screech]

[tires screech]

- VOILA, MONSIEUR.

- [speaking French]

- OUI, MADAME.

- THANKS, POP.

- AMY, YOU SHOULD LOOK
AFTER YOUR LUGGAGE, DEAR.

- I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU KIDS COULDN'T WAIT

FOR YOUR ALLOWANCE
UNTIL WE'VE AT LEAST HAD

A LOOK AROUND HERE.

THERE YOU ARE, SKIPPER.

- WHAT'S THIS?

- WELL, THAT'S TEN FRANCS.

THAT'S, UH, TWO DOLLARS
IN OUR MONEY, OKAY?

- OH, THANKS, POP.
- NEXT.

- WHAT A SWEET
OLD-FASHIONED HOTEL.

DON'T YOU LOVE IT?

WELL, AS SOON
AS WE GET SETTLED

AND I GET A GOOD HOT BATH,
I'M GOING TO LOVE EVERYTHING.

- IT SMELLS LIKE SOMEONE'S BEEN
SHOEING A HORSE IN HERE.

- THAT'S AGE, DARLING.

IT'S WHAT THE ARTISTS
CALL PATINA--

OLD WOOD, OLD DRAPES,
OLD CARPETS,

AND WONDERFUL OLD
ROMANTIC GHOSTS.

- I THINK IT'S GREAT,

WHICH INCIDENTALLY,
IT SHOULD BE,

BECAUSE THE RATES ARE MURDER.
- [laughs]

[water whooshing loudly]
- HEY!

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- THAT THING IN THERE--
IT GOT ME!

- WHAT THING?

- HOW COME THERE ARE TWO JOHNS
IN THE JOHN, ANYWAY?

- WHAT?

- THERE'S TWO--
- NEVER MIND, SKIPPER.

YOUR FATHER WILL EXPLAIN IT
TO YOU SOME OTHER TIME.

NOW GO GET YOUR SHIRT CHANGED.
- EXPLAIN WHAT?

- IF THEY BUILT THOSE THINGS
FOR FELLOWS,

SOMEBODY SURE DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

- MOM!

YOU'VE GOT TO SEE
MY BEDROOM.

IT'S JUST FABULOUS.
- HEY!

OH.

THERE YOU ARE.
- MERCI.

MERCI BEAUCOUP, MONSIEUR
- THANK YOU.

- OH, NO.

- WELL, SUNSHINE,
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU NOW?

- IT'S THIS HOTEL.

- NOW, ELLIOTT, I DON'T WANT
TO HEAR ANY MORE ABOUT--

- POP, YOU'VE MADE
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE OVER HERE
ON THE RIGHT BANK.

- THE RIGHT BANK?

- WE OUGHT TO BE OVER
ON THE LEFT BANK

WHERE ALL
THE INTERESTING PEOPLE ARE.

THAT'S WHERE THE ACTION IS.

- RIGHT BANK OR LEFT BANK--WHAT
DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE, EL?

- OH, DON'T YOU
UNDERSTAND, DAD?

WELL, YOU'VE GOT US HERE
WITH A BUNCH OF TOURISTS.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW,

YOU'RE GOING TO BE DRAGGING US
OFF TO THE EIFFEL TOWER

OR SOME CORNFLAKE ROUTINE
LIKE THAT.

[sighs]

- LOOK, SON...

LET'S GET SOMETHING
STRAIGHT AROUND HERE.

WE ARE TOURISTS.

WE'RE NOT PLAYBOYS
OR BUSINESS TYCOONS

OR INTERNATIONAL SPIES
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

WE'RE JUST PLAIN TOURISTS
FROM TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA.

- POP.

- NOW, FOR A START,
IT MIGHT HELP

IF WE STOP SHOWBOATING
ALL OVER THE PLACE

AND PRETENDING WE'RE
SOMETHING WE'RE NOT.

THEN MAYBE "TOURIST" WON'T BE
SUCH A DIRTY WORD ANYMORE.

- WHAT GOT YOU SO WOUND--
- ELLIOTT, I--

- LET'S TELL YOUR FATHER
AND ELLIOTT ABOUT IT.

- HARRY, GET YOUR COAT
BACK ON.

I'VE GOT A SENSATIONAL IDEA.

IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG?

- NO, NO, ELLIOTT AND I
WERE JUST SAYING

HOW MUCH WE LIKE THE HOTEL,
WEREN'T WE, ELLIOTT?

- OH, GOSH, MOM,
HOW--HOW GREAT CAN A PLACE BE?

- FORGET ABOUT UNPACKING.
FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING.

THE WHOLE FAMILY IS GOING
TO THE EIFFEL TOWER,

WHERE WE GET OUR FIRST
REAL LOOK AT PARIS.

HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
- GREAT.

DOESN'T IT
SOUND GREAT, ELLIOTT?

IT OUGHT TO BE A BLAST.

- WHAT A PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL,
EXCITING CITY.

- IT SURE AIN'T INDIANAPOLIS.

- OH, IT JUST GIVES ME
DUCK BUMPS.

LOOK, THE PALACE WHERE THE KINGS
AND QUEENS OF FRANCE

USED TO LIVE

AND THE HOTEL ON VILLE DE--
THE TOMB OF NAPOLEON.

IT'S TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT
OLD ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE

ALL OF THIS.

- ARE YOU KIDDING?
I KNOW WHO NAPOLEON IS.

HE'S THE GUY WHO HAD THE SAME
TROUBLE WITH THE ENGLISH

THAT CUSTER DID
WITH THE INDIANS.

- HOW HIGH
DO YOU SUPPOSE WE ARE?

- THINK WE COULD PROMOTE POP
FOR SOMETHING TO EAT?

I'M STARVING.

- TELL THE FOLKS I'LL MEET THEM
BACK AT THE HOTEL.

- HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?

- WELL, MOTHER,
WE FINALLY MADE IT--

PARIS.

WE'RE ONLY ABOUT 20 YEARS
BEHIND SCHEDULE, THAT'S ALL.

- 20 YEARS?
WHERE DID IT GO SO FAST?

- I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S HARD TO TELL.

THERE'S THAT FIRST
NUMBING SENSATION

WHEN YOU GET MARRIED,
AND WHEN YOU COME OUT OF THAT,

YOU NOTICE
SOME FAMILIAR-LOOKING KIDS

ASKING YOU
FOR THE KEYS TO THE CAR.

- HAVE I CHANGED MUCH
IN 20 YEARS?

- YEAH, YOU'RE ABOUT
TWICE AS BEAUTIFUL NOW.

- TURN YOUR SHOULDER
A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT.

- ELLIOTT!

- OKAY, NOW MOVE YOUR RIGHT
SHOULDER A LITTLE MORE.

NOW LIFT YOUR CHIN UP.

YEAH, THAT'S PERFECT.

NOW HOLD IT JUST LIKE THAT.
DON'T MOVE AN INCH.

- ELLIOTT!

ELLIOTT!
GET DOWN FROM THERE!

- RIGHT, DAD.
SOON AS I FINISH THIS SHOT.

- WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
UP THERE, ANYWAY?

- I'VE GOT
A GREAT ANGLE, DAD.

- WOULD YOU GET DOWN
FROM THERE?

- WILL YOU FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE
BE CAREFUL?

YOU CAN BREAK YOUR LEGS.

- DON'T WORRY, MOM.
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

- WELL, JUST DON'T DROP
THE CAMERA, THAT'S ALL.

DO YOU WANT TO END UP
IN THE FRENCH CLINK?

- DAD'S A GOOD SORT,
BUT HE DOESN'T APPROVE

OF THE HAZARDS I FACE
IN MY CAMERA WORK.

- NOW, LOOK, ELLIOTT.
- DAD, MOM...

I'D LIKE TO PRESENT
MISS PENELOPE--

- WALTHORNE.
- WALTHORNE.

FROM BRIGHTON, ENGLAND,
AND SHE'LL BE GRACING

THIS FAIR CITY
FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS.

- HOW DO YOU DO?

- HOW DO YOU DO?
- PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

I CONSIDER MYSELF EVER SO LUCKY
TO MEET YOUR SON.

- YOU DO?

- WELL, I'M HERE
ON A CULTURE TOUR,

AND I WANT TO LEARN
EVERYTHING I CAN.

- WELL, ACTUALLY,
WE'RE ALL LEARNING.

- AND ELLIOTT--I MEAN,
MR. WILLARD KNOWS PARIS SO WELL.

HE'S OFFERED TO SHOW ME
SOME NICE OUT-OF-THE-WAY PLACES

THE TOURISTS DON'T KNOW ABOUT.

- ELLIOTT KNOWS PARIS?

- WELL, I SUPPOSE NO ONE
EVER REALLY KNOWS PARIS, DAD,

NOT IN THE COMPLETE SENSE.

- NO, I DON'T SUPPOSE
THEY EVER DO.

SON, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.
- HARRY.

I REALLY THINK
WE SHOULD LEAVE.

WE HAVE TO UNPACK
BEFORE DINNER.

- OH.

WELL, MAYBE ELLIOTT
CAN USE HIS INFLUENCE

TO GET US INTO ONE
OF THOSE CHARMING LITTLE BISTROS

OVER ON THE LEFT BANK
WHERE THEY DON'T ALLOW TOURISTS.

DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE ABLE
TO ARRANGE THAT, ELLIOTT?

- HEY, POP, COME HERE.

HAVE A LOOK.
- WHERE, SKIPPER?

- RIGHT THERE.

- HEY, THAT'S AMY.
WHAT'S SHE DOING DOWN THERE?

NO.

NOT THAT, NOT HIM.

KATIE!

- THE SILLIEST THING
I EVER HEARD OF--

CANCELING HIS TRIP
TO LONDON

AND THEN HIDING
ON THE BOAT TRAIN

ALL THE WAY TO PARIS,
SPYING ON ME!

NOW, WHAT DID HE THINK
I WAS GOING TO DO--

TAKE UP WITH ANOTHER BOY
RIGHT OFF THE BAT?

OH, HE MAKES ME FURIOUS.

- WELL, NOW THAT YOU
SPEAK OF IT,

HE DOES HAVE AN IRRITATING
WAY ABOUT HIM.

IF YOU ASK ME--
- THE GREAT NICK O'MARA...

WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?
- SHH.

- WELL, WHO DOES
HE THINK HE IS?

IF HE CAN'T START
AT THE TOP--

THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS
TO DO, YOU KNOW--

START RIGHT AT THE TOP.

I TOLD HIM WHY DIDN'T HE DO
LIKE OTHER BOYS

WHO'D JUST GRADUATED
FROM COLLEGE

AND GET A JOB
IN AN ARCHITECT'S OFFICE

AND LEARN
THE PRACTICAL SIDE TOO.

YOU CAN'T BE AN ARCHITECT

JUST BECAUSE
YOU CAN DRAW AND DESIGN.

THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT,
ISN'T THAT SO?

- OH, OF COURSE.

UH, WOULD YOU GIVE ME
THE SUGAR, AMY, PLEASE?

NOW, WHEN I FIRST GOT
INTERESTED IN PLUMBING--

- DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE HAD
THE NERVE TO SAY TO ME?

HE SAID, DID I EXPECT HIM
TO GET A JOB

SO THAT HE WOULD
HAVE TO SETTLE DOWN

AND BECOME AN ANONYMOUS
EIGHT-HOUR-A-DAY VEGETABLE

LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE?

BUT I TOLD HIM....

I SAID THAT I DIDN'T GIVE A HOOT
IF HE EVER GOT A JOB.

THAT ALL THAT I KNEW
WAS IF HE SAT AROUND WAITING

FOR PEOPLE TO COME
TO ASK HIM

TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE
OR AN OFFICE OR A DOGHOUSE

OR SOMETHING
THAT HE'D WAIT ALL HIS LIFE.

- OF COURSE, THAT'S THE WAY
IT IS IN ANY BUSINESS.

NOW, YOU TAKE PLUMBING--

- I SAID, AS FAR
AS I WAS CONCERNED,

HE MIGHT AS WELL
JUST STOP MAKING

ALL THOSE HANDSOME DRAWINGS
OF HIS

AND LIVE OFF OF HIS RICH MOTHER
FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE

AND FORGET ABOUT BEING
ANYTHING ELSE,

BECAUSE HE WAS JUST
TOO WEAK, WEAK, WEAK.

AND I TOLD HIM ON THE BOAT TOO
THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE HIM

IN PARIS
OR ANYWHERE ELSE.

AND HERE HE IS,
15 MINUTES LATE.

- AMY, WHERE A GIRL,

OR A GROWN WOMAN
FOR THAT MATTER,

MAKES A MISTAKE IN A THING
LIKE THIS IS WHEN SHE--

- OH, POP, I HATE MYSELF

FOR SAYING ALL THOSE
TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT NICK.

HE'S REALLY NOT
LIKE THAT AT ALL.

HE'S REALLY--WELL, HE'S
VERY GENTLE AND CONSIDERATE.

AND I DON'T MEAN
POLITE-CONSIDERATE EITHER.

I MEAN, HONESTLY CONSIDERATE.

AND HE'S SO ALONE.

- WELL, THAT'S ALL
FINE AND GOOD,

BUT JUST BECAUSE HE'S ALONE--
- OH, NO, IT'S NOT THAT, POP.

IT'S NOT PITY.

I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

I GUESS I'M JUST
TOO SELFISH FOR THAT.

IT'S WHAT HE DOES TO ME.

- OH, YOU MEAN, UH...

HE--HE STIRS YOU UP.

UH, YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME
ABOUT THAT.

- DID SHE?

I TOLD HER NOT TO,
BUT I GUESS I KNEW SHE WOULD.

YOU TWO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING,
DON'T YOU?

I MEAN, EVERYTHING.

THAT'S MARVELOUS.

THAT'S THE WAY
IT SHOULD BE.

BUT NICK COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND
ANYTHING LIKE THAT,

THAT POOR-RICH-TRASH WAY
HE'S BEEN BROUGHT UP.

- WELL, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT,
BUT THERE'S NO NEED--

- WHAT KIND OF GIRLS DO YOU
THINK HE'S KNOWN, ANYWAY?

THAT'S WHAT MAKES
ME SO FURIOUS.

HE CAN'T BELIEVE
IN ANYTHING OR ANYBODY.

- AMY, THIS IS JUST A THOUGHT,

BUT WHAT ABOUT
THE FELLOWS BACK HOME?

YOU KNOW, BOB WHELAN
AND TIM BRADLEY.

THEY'RE--THEY'RE NICE KIDS.
YOU LIKE THEM.

MAYBE THEY'RE--
THEY'RE NO WORLD SHAKERS,

BUT THEY'RE NICE KIDS.
- OH, POP, DON'T RUIN IT.

DON'T 100% PROVE
THAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

- I, UH--
I'M SORRY.

- I'M SORRY TOO.

I GUESS IT'S JUST SOMETHING

THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE
TO FIGHT THROUGH

BY MYSELF AND GET OVER,

BECAUSE THAT'S JUST
WHAT I INTEND TO DO, POP--

GET OVER IT.

- GOOD.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
WHY DON'T WE START THIS MORNING?

WE'LL ALL GO TO THE LOUVRE,
THE WHOLE FAMILY--

- OH, I CAN'T DO THAT, POP.

NICK HAS MADE
SOME RESERVATIONS

AT A WONDERFUL
LITTLE RESTAURANT

OUT NEAR VERSAILLES.

- OH.

- BUT I'M NOT FALLING
IN LOVE WITH HIM, POP,

IF THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING.

I COULDN'T FALL IN LOVE
WITH A MIXED-UP TYPE LIKE THAT.

I'D--I'D BE ASHAMED
OF MYSELF FOR LIFE.

[phone rings]

- [speaking French]

MADEMOISELLE WILLARD.

- I'LL--I'LL GET IT, AMY.

- [speaking French]

- YES?

YES, NICK.

OH, YOU'RE OUT
IN THE LOBBY.

NO, UH, DON'T COME IN HERE.

SHE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

- OH, WHY'D YOU DO THAT, POP?

- WELL, AMY, ALL YOUR LIFE,
YOUR MOTHER AND I

HAVE BEEN WORKING TO MAKE YOU
INTO THE KIND OF A GIRL YOU ARE.

I GUESS MAYBE NOW'S THE TIME
TO LEAVE YOU ALONE

ON THE BATTLEFIELD
AND SEE HOW IT TURNS OUT.

- THANK YOU
FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE.

I'M GOING TO NEED ALL I CAN GET

WITH THE SESSION COMING UP
WITH THIS CHARACTER.

OH!

- HARRY, I'M SO EXCITED.
LINDSEY WELLS JUST PHONED.

SHE'S LIVING IN PARIS NOW.
- WELL.

- AND SHE'S JUST WIRED
TWO INVITATIONS

FOR THE SHOWING
OF THE NEW YORK COLLECTION.

- OH, WONDERFUL.
COME ON, HAVE BREAKFAST.

- NO, DARLING, I HAVE TO RUSH.
- YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TODAY?

- YES, SO YOU SIT DOWN
AND HAVE YOUR BREAKFAST.

- WHAT ABOUT OUR PLANS
TO GO TO THE LOUVRE?

- BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO GET
AN INVITATION TO THAT SHOWING.

- WELL, YEAH--

- IT'S LIKE GETTING
INTO BUCKINGHAM PALACE.

- I SUPPOSE IT IS, BUT--

- I'LL SEE YOU
AT DINNERTIME, HUH?

- BYE-BYE, ELLIOTT.
- BYE-BYE, MOM.

- SKIPPER, BE A GOOD BOY.

- BYE, MOM.

- UH, ELLIOTT.

- GEE, DAD, I'D LIKE TO,
BUT I'M TAKING

THIS LITTLE ENGLISH NUMBER
OVER TO THE STUDENT QUARTER

AROUND SAINT-GERMAIN-DES-PRES
IN THE LEFT BANK.

- OH, UH, OVER WHERE
THE ACTION IS.

- YEAH, WE'RE JUST GOING
TO KLUTZ AROUND

FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

THEN WE'RE GOING TO HAVE LUNCH
AT THE CAFE DE DEUX MAGOT.

- "DO MAGO"?

- YEAH, IN ENGLISH,
THAT MEANS CAFE--

- DON'T TELL ME.
I CAN GUESS.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO HAVE
BREAKFAST?

- OH, I'VE HAD IT.
ARE YOU KIDDING?

I WAS UP AT DAWN.
DAD, I SAW THE SUNRISE.

AND I SAW THE BOATS
COMING DOWN THE RIVER

AND THE MEN
WATERING DOWN THE STREETS.

OH, DAD, IF YOU COULD
JUST GET OFF

THIS TOURIST BEAT OF YOURS
AND GET TO KNOW THE REAL PARIS--

- GOOD-BYE, ELLIOTT.

- OKAY, DAD.
I'M SORRY FOR YOU.

- SAY, UH, SKIPPER,
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TODAY?

- WELL, I'M WITH YOU, POP.
ANYTHING YOU SAY.

- GOOD.
I'LL TELL YOU.

WHY DON'T WE GO TO THE LOUVRE?

- YOU'RE THE BOSS, POP.

THEY GOT ANYTHING
FIT TO EAT IN THIS TOWN?

- WELL, THERE IT IS, SKIPPER--
THE LOUVRE.

THE MOST FAMOUS COLLECTION
OF ART TREASURES IN THE WORLD.

YOU KNOW, SKIPPER,
MOST PEOPLE THINK THE LOUVRE

IS JUST FOR GROWN-UPS.

BUT YOU KNOW THAT PAINTING
OF CUSTER'S LAST STAND

YOU'RE SO CRAZY ABOUT?
[laughs]

WAIT TILL YOU GET A LOAD
OF SOME OF THE BATTLE SCENES

THEY'VE GOT IN THERE.

- OF COURSE,
THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT IT,

I'M JUST DYING
TO SEE THE LOUVRE.

- SO?

- SO I'M JUST AFRAID
YOU'LL MISS THE SEWERS.

- SEWERS?

- SURE, THEY'RE FAMOUS TOO,
YOU KNOW?

- WELL, OF COURSE
THEY ARE SKIPPER, BUT--

- REMEMBER THAT MOVIE
WE SAW ON TV

ABOUT THE FELLOW
WITH THE BEARD,

AND THE POLICE WERE CHASING HIM
THROUGH THE SEWERS OF PARIS

AND ALL THAT?

THAT WAS TERRIFIC, WASN'T IT?
- WELL, SURE, BUT--

WELL, YOU JUST COULDN'T GO DOWN
THERE AND WANDER AROUND, SON.

THE POLICE WOULDN'T LET YOU.

- SURE THEY WILL.

THE FELLOW IN THE HOTEL--
HE EVEN SAID

THAT THEY HAVE A TOUR
THAT GOES DOWN THERE,

ONLY ONCE A WEEK, THOUGH.

YOU SEE?

AND THEY'RE LEAVING
IN TEN MINUTES!

COME ON, POP.
- OH, BUT NOW, SKIPPER, WE--

- I'LL EVEN TREAT YOU.

- AS YOU SEE,
THEY'VE LOCATED ONLY

THE FAMOUS PARIS
SYSTEM OF SEWERS.

THERE ARE ALSO SUCH
USEFUL PUBLIC NEEDS

AS WATER MAINS, TELEPHONE LINES,
AND ELECTRIC CABLES.

- THIS IS REALLY
INTERESTING, SKIPPER.

I'M GLAD YOU BROUGHT ME
DOWN HERE.

[loud hissing]

- THIS PIPE IS
A PNEUMATIC SYSTEM

WHICH DELIVERS
CERTAIN ITEMS OF MAIL

FROM THE CENTRAL POST OFFICE
TO VARIOUS PARTS OF THE CITY.

HEY, MONSIEUR,
WATCH YOUR HEAD.

- THEY DID PRETTY NICE WORK
IN THOSE DAYS.

- POP.
- HMM?

- I HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.

- WHAT--WHAT WAS WRONG
WITH THE HOTEL?

- I DIDN'T HAVE TO THEN!

- OH, WELL, I'M AFRAID YOU'LL
JUST HAVE TO WAIT, SKIPPER.

- YOU DON'T THINK
THEY'D MIND DOWN HERE, DO YOU?

- I'LL TELL YOU.
WE'LL ASK THE GUY.

NOW, COME ON,
THEY'RE GETTING AHEAD OF US.

COME ON.

- AS YOU SEE DEMONSTRATION,
CERTAIN AREAS

ARE MARKED WITH SIGNS
EXACTLY AS THE STREETS ABOVE.

THIS IS NECESSARY,
BECAUSE EVEN SEWER WORKERS

WITH MANY YEARS EXPERIENCE
BECOME EASILY LOST

IN THE VAST
LABYRINTH OF TUNNELS

BENEATH THE SURFACE.

- COME ON, SKIPPER,
MAYBE WE CAN ASK--

SKIPPER?
- LET'S GO.

- SKIPPER?

SKIPPER!

SKIPPER.

SKIPPER?

- MONSIEUR, I MUST ASK YOU
TO STAY WITH THE REST OF--

- MY BOY'S BACK HERE SOMEPLACE.
HE MIGHT BE LOST.

SKIPPER?
- LOOK, SKIPPER.

SKIPPER!
- SKIPPER!

- MONSIEUR, NO, JUST A MOMENT.

SKIPPER!

[all shouting]

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
GO BACK, GO BACK.

- SKIPPER?

SKIPPER.

- OH, THERE YOU ARE, BOY.

DO NOT REMOVE YOURSELF
AGAIN, HUH?

NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU STAY RIGHT HERE WITH US.

[laughs]
COME ON.

MONSIEUR, YOUR SON
IS SAFE WITH US.

LET'S GO.
[speaking French]

- SKIPPER?

SKIPPER!

SKIPPER?

SKIPPER?

SKIPPER?

SKIPPER!

SKIPPER?

SKIPPER.

SKIPPER.

HELP.

HELP, HELP!

AU SECOURS!

AU SECOURS!

JE SUIS LOST!

[loud hissing]

AU SECOURS!

WHAT DOES THAT SAY?

OH.

SIGNS.

SIGNS, SIGNS,
PAGES ONE THROUGH NINE.

[speaking French]

YEAH, YEAH.

DANGER--GAS.
NO OPEN FLAME.

OH!

[motor whirring overhead]

AU--AU SECOURS!

HELP!
[whistles]

AU SECOURS!

[whistles]

- THE OLDER GENERATION
ADMITTEDLY HAS PRETTY MUCH

FOULED THE WORLD UP,
AND IT'S, UH...

IT'S UP TO, UH...
IT'S UP TO US TO, UH...

SEE THAT?

LOOK AT THAT.

EXCUSEZ-MOI.

GENDARME?

GENDARME?

PARDON, MONSIEUR,
I KNOW THIS IS PROBABLY

NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
NONE OF MY--

BUT--BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT?

THAT?

JUST THOUGHT
I'D MENTION IT.

THERE'S PROBABLY SOME POOR SOUL
IN TROUBLE DOWN THERE.

TROUBLE.

- IT'S ELLIOTT.

ELLIOTT!

ELLIOTT, IT'S DAD!

ELLIOTT, SON!

LOOK, IT'S DAD!

ELLIOTT!

OH, YOU.

- [speaking French]

- [speaking French]

- [speaking French]

- [speaking French]

- [speaking indistinctly]

- OH-OH!

- HI, POP.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

- DON'T YOU TALK
TO ME, ELLIOTT--

A BIG HELP YOU ARE
STANDING UP THERE DOING NOTHING.

- STANDING UP WHERE?
- NEVER MIND, JUST NEVER MIND.

- WHEN ARE WE GOING TO EAT, MOM?
I'M STARVING.

- IN A LITTLE WHILE, DARLING.
[doorbell buzzes]

HARRY, WHAT KEPT YOU?

IT'S BEEN OVER AN HOUR
SINCE YOU PHONED.

- I KNOW, I THOUGHT THE FRESH
AIR MIGHT DO ME SOME GOOD.

- MY, YOU'RE A MESS.
- I KNOW, KATIE.

- HI, POP.

- "HI, POP," HE SAYS.

- I'M SORRY, BUT THAT GUIDE
HAD ME RIGHT BY THE HAND,

AND WE ALL THOUGHT
YOU WERE RIGHT BEHIND US.

- OH, YOU DID, HUH?

WELL, LISTEN,
JUST DROP THE WHOLE THING.

- HEY, POP, YOU KNOW,
YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE LOUVRE.

- DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU WENT TO THE LOUVRE--

I MEAN, LOUVRE?

- YEAH, I DROPPED IN
ON THE WAY HOME.

IT WAS TERRIFIC.

YOU OUGHT TO GO THERE
SOMETIME, POP.

LOOK, I BROUGHT YOU
SOME POSTCARDS.

- THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SKIPPER!

COME ON BACK HERE.

STAND NEXT TO YOUR MOTHER, NOW.

COME ON, THAT A BOY.
THERE.

OKAY, SMILE, AMY.

WELL, THERE'S
OUR FRIEND AGAIN.

- HARRY.

I'M BEGINNING TO AGREE WITH YOU
ABOUT THIS BOY.

AMY COULD GET HURT.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- WELL, HER EYES WERE RED
FROM CRYING THIS MORNING,

SO I DECIDED TO ASK HER WHY.

SHE AND NICK HAD
AN ARGUMENT YESTERDAY.

- OH?
WHAT ABOUT?

- WELL, NICK SAID THAT
HE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE

OR ANYTHING IDIOTIC LIKE THAT,

AND IF SHE WANTED TO HAVE FUN
OR A FRIENDLY ARRANGEMENT

OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT THESE
DAYS, THAT WAS FINE WITH HIM.

- THAT'S BIG OF HIM.

- WELL, SHE SIZZLED
AND TOLD HIM OFF.

I THOUGHT THAT
WOULD BE THE END OF IT.

- EVIDENTLY IT WASN'T.

- HARRY, I DON'T LIKE
WHAT'S HAPPENING.

I THINK WE SHOULD ASK HER
NOT TO SEE HIM ANYMORE.

- NO, I DON'T THINK SO, KATIE.

- YOU DON'T THINK SO?
WELL, THAT'S A CHANGE.

- WELL, IF AMY'S ANYTHING
LIKE YOU ARE,

WHICH SHE IS, SHE'S NOT GOING
TO LIKE OUR BUTTING IN.

REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED
WHEN YOUR FATHER TOLD YOU

TO COME BACK FROM INDIANA
OR ELSE?

- OH, THAT WAS DIFFERENT.

- NO, NO, NO, THE POINT IS,
AMY'S GOT A LOT

OF GOOD COMMON SENSE, RIGHT?
- WELL, CERTAINLY.

BUT WHEN A GIRL'S EMOTIONS
ARE INVOLVED,

SHE'S OUT OF TOUCH WITH LITTLE
THINGS LIKE COMMON SENSE.

- NOW, LISTEN, THIS
NICK O'MARA'S A SPOILED BRAT.

HE'S ARROGANT,
AND HE'S SELFISH.

AND THE MORE
WE THROW THEM TOGETHER,

THE SOONER AMY'S
GOING TO FIND THAT OUT, RIGHT?

- OH, I DON'T--

- WHY SHOULD WE MAKE
THIS CLOWN LOOK GOOD

BY TRYING TO KEEP THEM APART?

BELIEVE ME, IF WE JUST
DON'T MAKE A MARTYR OUT OF HIM,

HE'LL FALL FLAT
ON HIS FACE.

- HARRY, YOU SURPRISE ME.

YOU'RE MORE DEVIOUS
THAN I GAVE YOU CREDIT FOR.

- WELL, I, UH, HAVE GIVEN
THE MATTER SOME THOUGHT.

- ALL RIGHT,
YOU HOOSIER MACHIAVELLI.

WHERE'S YOUR FIRST MOVE?

- WELL, AS WE SAY HERE
IN PARIS, "REGARDE."

- THEY CALL NOTRE DAME
THE HEART OF FRANCE.

EVERY ROAD IN FRANCE HAS
ITS GEOGRAPHICAL STARTING POINT

FROM A SPOT
IN FRONT OF THE CATHEDRAL.

CONSTRUCTION WAS BEGUN
IN 1163.

THAT'S OVER 300 YEARS
BEFORE AMERICA WAS DISCOVERED.

YET, FOR MY MONEY,
THE FLYING BUTTRESSES

AND, UH, OTHER ARCHITECTURAL
FEATURES IN THERE ARE AS MODERN

AS MOST OF THE STUFF
THAT THEY'RE BUILDING TODAY.

- 1163, HUH?

- WELL, IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU
TO SHOW US AROUND THIS WAY.

- I, UH, HOPE THIS ISN'T
TOO BORING FOR YOU.

I MEAN, UH, BEING OUT
ON A FAMILY OUTING LIKE THIS.

- OH, NO, NO,
NOT AT ALL.

I'M ENJOYING IT VERY MUCH,
MR. WILLARD.

IT'S VERY KIND OF YOU
TO INVITE ME ALONG.

IN CONTRAST TO NOTRE DAME,
WHICH IS GOTHIC,

SACRE COEUR THERE
IS BYZANTINE.

IT DOMINATES
THE HILL OF MONTMARTRE,

WHICH NOT TOO LONG AGO WAS JUST
A LITTLE COUNTRY VILLAGE

OVERLOOKING THE CITY OF PARIS.

- DID YOU KNOW THAT, DADDY?

- WELL, TO TELL YOU
TO TRUTH, I DIDN'T.

- OH, DADDY, I'M HAVING
SUCH A GOOD TIME TODAY.

THANK YOU.

DON'T YOU THINK
NICK'S WONDERFUL?

YOU CAN SEE THAT NOW,
CAN'T YOU?

- HEY, POP.
LOOK WHAT'S COMING.

- AMY.

- WHAT IS YOUR DAUGHTER,
CRAZY OR SOMETHING?

- IT'S POSSIBLE.

- SHE'S GOT ME SO BOILED UP,
I DON'T KNOW WHICH END'S UP.

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO EXPLAIN
HER TO ME, WOULD YOU?

- I'M NOT SURE I COULD.

IF I COULD EXPLAIN AMY
OR ANY OTHER MEMBER

OF MY FAMILY,
ALL THE FUN WOULD BE GONE.

- I GET THE FEELING
IF I BRIBED HER

WITH AN ENGAGEMENT RING,
SHE'D FEEL DIFFERENT.

- WELL, I CAN TELL YOU THIS.

YOU'RE WRONG THERE.

- SHE PUTS A PRICE ON HERSELF
AND A PRETTY HIGH PRICE TOO.

- NOW, LISTEN, YOUNG FELLOW,
YOU KEEP TALKING LIKE THAT,

AND I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR CAN
ALL THE WAY AROUND THE BLOCK.

AMY ISN'T FOR SALE,
AT ANY PRICE.

BUT IF YOU THINK SHE IS,
YOU GET THAT ENGAGEMENT RING

AND TRY IT
AND SEE WHERE YOU END UP.

- I MIGHT JUST DO THAT.
- YOU GO AHEAD.

I'D JUST LIKE
TO BE AROUND.

- YOU WILL BE.
YOU ALWAYS ARE.

- NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
- YOU LISTEN TO ME, MR. WILLARD.

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE HONEST.

NOW, I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN MARRYING ANYBODY.

I TOLD AMY THAT.

BECAUSE I DON'T HAPPEN TO
BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE, THAT'S WHY.

IT STARTS OUT FINE,
BUT IT'S A FAKE.

AFTER A WHILE,
THE PEOPLE STOP LOVING.

THEY JUST GO ON MAKING BELIEVE,
OR THEY FIND SOMEBODY ELSE,

AND THEY GET A DIVORCE,
AND THE WHOLE IDIOTIC THING

STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN.

EITHER WAY, IT'S A TRAP.

- SON, YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- [chuckles sarcastically]

I JUST HAPPEN TO LOOK
A LITTLE MORE DEEPLY

THAN MOST PEOPLE,
THAT'S ALL.

I DON'T LET ANYBODY TELL ME
WHAT TO BELIEVE OR THINK EITHER.

I MAKE UP MY OWN MIND.

AND IF YOUR DAUGHTER THINKS
SHE'S GOING TO CHANGE IT--

- WHO SAID SHE WANTS
TO CHANGE IT?

- WELL, SHE THINKS
SHE'S GOING TO CHANGE IT

BY PLAYING HARD TO GET,
AND THEN GETTING ME

ALL BOILED UP,
AND IF YOU THINK

YOU'RE GOING TO ARGUE ME
INTO BELIEVING--

- I'M NOT TRYING
TO ARGUE YOU INTO ANYTHING.

- WELL, IF YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING TO ARGUE ME

INTO ANYTHING,
YOU'RE AS WRONG AS AMY.

IF YOU CAME ABROAD TO GET
A HUSBAND FOR YOUR DAUGHTER--

- WELL, THAT LAST THING I WANT
FOR MY DAUGHTER--

- IF THAT'S WHAT YOU
CAME ABROAD FOR, COUNT ME OUT.

I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME.
- THAT'S FOR SURE.

- BUT THAT MEANS
LESS THAN NOTHING TO ME.

LET ME TELL YOU,
I DON'T PLAY UP TO ANYBODY.

THE ONLY REASON
I STARTED TALKING TO YOU

WAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN AMY.

BUT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN,
YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING

ABOUT ANYBODY IN YOUR FAMILY,

'CAUSE THAT'S THE SAFEST
WAY TO BE--DEAF, DUMB AND BLIND.

- LOOK, SON, I DON'T CLAIM
TO KNOW EVERYTHING, BECAUSE--

- THAT WAY YOU DON'T HAVE
TO REALIZE ANYTHING AROUND YOU,

AND YOU JUST GO ON PRETENDING
THAT YOU LOVE THEM ALL,

BECAUSE IT'S A NICE, SAFE HABIT.

- BECAUSE IF I KNEW EVERYTHING,
I'D BE LIKE YOU,

AND FROM WHAT I CAN SEE--

- IT GIVES YOU THAT PHONY
FEELING OF SELF-IMPORTANCE

TO THINK THAT THEY ALL
LOVE YOU BACK.

THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS,
NONE OF YOU KNOW

THE FIRST DAMN THING
ABOUT LOVE!

NONE OF YOU!

- BUT OF COURSE, MADEMOISELLE.

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING.

HAS IT BROUGHT ME HAPPINESS?

ONE ASKS THESE THINGS
OF ONESELF WHEN...

- GOOD MORNING, ELLIOTT.

MAY I SEE THAT, PLEASE?

OH, I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D ROBBED
A BANK OR SOMETHING.

- WELL, IT'S FOR
APPEARANCE'S SAKE, POP.

I MAY BE THE POOREST AMERICAN
IN PARIS,

BUT THERE'S NO POINT
IN ADVERTISING.

- I SEE.

- AND INCIDENTALLY,
SPEAKING OF MONEY--

- ELLIOTT, I AM
IN GOOD SPIRITS THIS MORNING,

AND I'M NOT GOING TO START
THE DAY OFF ARGUING

ABOUT YOUR ALLOWANCE.

HAS YOUR MOTHER GONE OUT?
- YEP.

- HOW ABOUT SKIPPER?
- YEP.

- AND WHERE'S AMY?

- SEARCH ME.

- ELLIOTT?

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO
THE LOUVRE WITH ME THIS MORNING?

- OH, IT'S TOO NICE
A DAY, POP.

CHECK ME NEXT TIME IT RAINS.

- OKAY, THEN I'LL GO
BY MYSELF.

HMM.

- BONJOUR, MONSIEUR.

- OH, BONJOUR.

SAY, THE LOUVRE.

THAT OPENS AT 10:00,
N'EST-CE PAS?

- THAT IS CORRECT, MONSIEUR.

- BON.

THEN I THINK I'LL HAVE
A LITTLE PETIT DEJEUNER.

- MM.
- AVEC A--

I MEAN, UH,
AVES VOUS, UH, HAM AND EGGS?

- HAM AND EGGS,
AMERICAN STYLE.

- OUI.
CAFE NOIR.

- AND BLACK COFFEE.

- GOOD.

WOULD YOU BRING THAT
TOUT DE SUITE?

- RIGHT AWAY, MONSIEUR.

- GOOD.
I MEAN, BON.

- WOULD YOU CARE
FOR A CIGARETTE?

- OH, NO, THANK YOU.
I DON'T SMOKE BEFORE BREAKFAST.

I, UH--
THANKS VERY MUCH.

- MAY I JOIN YOU?

- CERTAINLY.

- MONSIEUR?
- OH, MERCI.

UH?
- OH, THANK YOU.

[speaking French]
- [speaking French]

- YOU'RE AMERICAN?

- YES, I GUESS IT SHOWS, HUH?

- RICH, OF COURSE.

- NO, NO, NO,
I'M AFRAID NOT.

I'M A PLUMBING CONTRACTOR,
BUT I GUESS EVERYBODY THINKS

ANYONE WHO HAS ANYTHING
TO DO WITH PLUMBING IS RICH.

- SO NOW YOU HAVE COME
TO FRANCE.

WHY?

- WELL, I GUESS,
WAY DOWN, EVERY AMERICAN

IS SORT OF IN LOVE WITH FRANCE,
AND SOONER OR LATER,

IF HE GETS THE CHANCE,
HE COMES OVER HERE

TO FIND OUT WHY.

- OH.

MERCI.

THERE ARE MANY
BEAUTIFUL THINGS HERE--

THE COUNTRYSIDE, THE ARTS,
THE RESTAURANTS.

- YES, I'M REALLY
ENJOYING IT.

- ALSO, THERE IS ROMANCE.

- OH.

WELL, YOU'RE
A VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.

- THANK YOU.

- BUT I, UH--
I HAVE A PROBLEM.

- OH, HOW DO YOU SAY IT?

YOU'RE NOT UNDERSTOOD AT HOME,
AND YOUR WIFE IS--

- NO, NO, NO, NO.

IT'S JUST THE OPPOSITE.
MY WIFE KNOWS ME LIKE A BOOK.

THE THING IS, UH,
I LOVE MY WIFE VERY MUCH.

SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN IN THE WORLD,

AT LEAST TO ME SHE IS.

AND WE HAVE THREE KIDS,
AND THEY'RE ALL KIND OF NUTTY

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER,

BUT I'M CRAZY
ABOUT THEM TOO, SO, UH...

- [speaking French]

- I BEG YOUR PARDON?

- OH, I'M SORRY.

I SAID, "I BELIEVE YOU TRULY
ARE A RICH AMERICAN."

- OH.

I HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY
YOUR STAY IN FRANCE.

- I'M SURE I WILL.

- IT WAS VERY PLEASANT
TO MEET YOU.

- THANK YOU.

- AU REVOIR.

- GOOD-BYE.

- YOUR HAM AND EGGS, MONSIEUR.

- OH.

- GARCON?
- MONSIEUR?

- I THINK I'D LIKE
A SMALL BOTTLE OF WINE, PLEASE.

- OUI, MONSIEUR.

WHAT KIND?

- OH, UH, WHATEVER KIND
GOES WITH HAM AND EGGS.

[chuckles]

- OF COURSE.

[horn honking]

[Elliott laughing]

[speaking French]

OR SHOULD I SAY,
[speaking French]?

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING,
YOU KNOW,

MONEY IS VERY DECEPTIVE.

I MEAN, IT'S INTERESTING,
YOU KNOW?

YOU TAKE MONEY--
WELL, JUST TO LOOK AT ME.

THE ORDINARY PERSON
WOULDN'T KNOW

THAT I HAD MONEY,
WOULD THEY?

SEE, I DON'T THINK MONEY
SHOULD BE AN OSTENTATIOUS THING.

I THINK IT SHOULD BE SORT OF
A BASIC FEELING WITHIN YOU

THAT YOU KNOW
HOW TO HANDLE YOURSELF

IN SITUATIONS THAT--

OOH.
OH, HELLO, POP.

UH, I'M GLAD YOU STOPPED BY.

I WANT YOU TO MEET
A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE.

SHE'S, UH, VERY SOCIAL.
WONDERFUL FAMILY.

SHE'S BEEN TELLING ME ABOUT
HER STUDIES AT THE SORBONNE.

- IS THIS ONE OF THEM?

- YES.

- COME ON, ELLIOTT.
- WHY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

- GOOD-BYE, MY FRIEND.

- HEY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- GO WITH YOUR FATHER, PLEASE.

- ELLIOTT.

- UH, MADEMOISELLE,
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY

WE TOOK UP
SO MUCH OF YOUR TIME.

- IT'S PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.

MONSIEUR.

- DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SONS
ABROAD IN PARIS?

- YES, I HAVE ONE.

HE'S JUST 12 YEARS OLD.

- THANK YOU.

- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, POP.
LISTEN, LET ME EXPLAIN THIS.

SHE CAME TO THE--
WELL, LOOK, I'LL SHOW YOU.

I WAS SITTING HERE,
MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS,

AND SHE CAME TO ME.
POP, THAT'S THE TRUTH.

SHE SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE
TO HAVE A DRINK?"

- AND I SAID, "YES,
I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A DRINK."

AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW,
SHE SAT DOWN,

AND WE HAD A DRINK,
AND THEN YOU CAME UP.

I DIDN'T KNOW
HOW MUCH TIME HAD GONE BY.

- HI, MOM!
- HELLO, SKIPPER.

PUT THOSE IN MY ROOM,
HUH, DARLING?

- UH-HUH.

- WELL, HARRY.
- HI, KATIE.

- YOU'RE BACK
FROM THE LOUVRE ALREADY?

HOW WAS IT?

- WELL, I DIDN'T GET THERE.

IT SEEMS THAT EVERY TIME
I TRY TO GET TO THE LOUVRE,

SOMETHING HAPPENS.

LIKE THIS MORNING,
I WAS...

- YOU LIKE IT?

- YOUR HAIR?

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT?

- WELL, IT'S THE LATEST THING
OVER HERE.

THEY MADE IT SOUND
SO EXCITING.

THEY SAID IT WOULD CHANGE
MY WHOLE PERSONALITY.

- OH?

- AS SOON AS I SAW IT,
I COULD SEE YOUR FACE

JUST THE WAY
IT LOOKS RIGHT NOW.

- OH, WELL...

HMM.

YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

- YEAH, YES, IT'S CUTE.

- YOU'D NEVER USE THAT WORD
UNLESS YOU LOATHED IT.

- WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN CUTE.
I MEAN, IT'S, UH...

WELL, IT'S PRETTY.

- HARRY, THERE'S NOTHING
THAT MAKES ME ANGRIER

THAN HAVING YOU AGREE WITH ME
WHEN YOU DON'T MEAN IT.

- I DO MEAN IT, KATIE.
I-IT'S REAL SNAZZY.

IT'S JUST THAT--WELL, YOU
KIND OR SURPRISED ME,

THAT'S ALL.
- IT'LL GROW OUT.

MY HAIR GROWS VERY FAST.
- OH, NOW, KATIE.

- WOW, NEAT-O.

WHO'S YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND, POP?

- THANK YOU, SKIPPER.

- AND WHAT DO YOU
HAVE TO SAY, ELLIOTT?

- HMM...

WELL, IT DOES MAKE YOU
LOOK YOUNGER,

IF THAT'S YOUR POINT,

BUT I'D ALWAYS THOUGHT
OF YOU AS OLDER.

[doorbell buzzes]
- WELL, THANKS A LOT.

THAT'S WHAT YOUR FATHER
THINKS TOO.

- OH, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, KATIE.
I DON'T THINK ANY SUCH THING.

- I WOULDN'T GO IN THERE
IF I WERE YOU.

POP HATES MOM'S NEW HAIRDO.

- I DO NOT HATE IT.

ALL I SAID TO YOUR MOTHER
WAS, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO IT?"

I DIDN'T MEAN--
- OH, MOTHER.

IT'S THE MOST STUNNING THING
I'VE EVER SEEN--

ABSOLUTELY DIVINE.

- IS THAT SO, DEAR?

- I REALLY LIKE IT, KATIE.

- MOTHER, YOU'RE GOING TO DRIVE
ALL THE MEN IN PARIS

OUT OF THEIR MINDS.

WAIT TILL THEY SEE YOU
AT THE PARTY TONIGHT.

- PARTY?

- YES, AND DO YOU KNOW
WHO'S INVITED US?

THE COMTESSE.
THE COMTESSE DUFRESNE.

- WHO'S THAT?

- THE COMTESSE,
NICK'S MOTHER.

- NICK'S MOTHER?

- YES, SHE HAS THIS FAMOUS
HOUSE IN AUTET.

ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY
IN PARIS WILL BE THERE,

BECAUSE SHE'S INTRODUCING
HER NEW PROTEGE--

A YOUNG ARGENTINE
CONCERT PIANIST,

HER THIRD PROTEGE
IN SIX MONTHS.

- BUT I, UH--I THOUGHT
AFTER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY,

YOU AND NICK WERE ALL-

- OH, DADDY,
THAT WAS YESTERDAY.

- OH.

- WELL, ANYWAY,
SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT NICK AND ME,

SO NOTHING WOULD DO,
BUT SHE HAD TO HAVE

US ALL OUT THERE
TO LOOK US OVER.

- TO LOOK US OVER?

- WELL, CERTAINLY.

SHE'S PROBABLY
VERY JEALOUS ABOUT NICK,

BUT I WANT TO KEEP
AN OPEN MIND ABOUT HER.

- OH, OF COURSE.

- COME ON, MOTHER, WE'VE GOT
TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO WEAR.

- KATIE, I DON'T THINK
WE OUGHT TO GET MIXED UP--

- OH, HARRY, THIS IS PARIS,
DARLING, REMEMBER?

WORST COMES TO WORST,
WE'LL HAVE A MARVELOUS TIME

SEEING ALL THESE PEOPLE.
- YEAH.

- AMY, DO YOU THINK MY
BLACK SHEATH IS DRESSY ENOUGH?

- KATIE, I THOUGHT
YOU WERE ON MY SIDE.

[indistinct chatter]

- IF MY LUCK HOLDS OUT,
SHE WON'T BE HERE TONIGHT.

- EXCUSE ME.
- YES, DEAR.

- MOTHER, THE WILLARDS
HAVE ARRIVED.

- OH.

HOLD THAT FOR ME, PLEASE.
COME ALONG, DARLING.

BARON.

[speaking German]

DARLINGS, DARLINGS,
DARLINGS, NO, NO, NO, NO.

DON'T TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.
YOU'RE THE WILLARDS.

AREN'T YOUR PRECIOUS,
MRS. WILLARD?

ADORABLE, MR. WILLARD--
SO TALL AND HANDSOME.

ISN'T HE THE LONGEST THING?

AND YOU MUST BE AMY.

WHY, YOU'RE A RAVING BEAUTY.

WHY, AMY, YOU CHARMER.

NO WONDER YOU'VE DRIVEN
MY DARLING NICKY-POO

TO DISTRACTION.

- THIS IS MY MOTHER.

- COME ALONG, DEARS,
COME ALONG.

[gasps] SUCH A GHASTLY PARTY,
DARLINGS--

ONE OF MY VERY WORST.

BUT ALL THE MOST AMUSING PEOPLE
ARE IN THE COTE D'AZUR

THIS TIME OF YEAR.

NO ONE HERE
BUT THE SWEEPINGS, THE DREGS,

THE ABSOLUTE DREGS OF PARIS.
[laughs]

BUT I JUST COULDN'T WAIT
ANOTHER MINUTE

TO SHOW OFF
MY DARLING CARLOS.

THERE HE IS OVER THERE
AT THE PIANO.

WHAT A DELICIOUSLY EVIL FACE
HE HAS, DON'T YOU THINK?

IF THERE'S ONE THING
I CAN'T STAND

IT'S A CLEAN-CUT MAN.

WHAT DID YOU SAY
YOUR NAME WAS, DEAR?

- OH, KATIE.
- KATE--KATIE?

OH, HOW CHARMING,
HOW HONEST AND TRUE,

HOW AMERICAN, MOON SHINING
OVER THE BACK FENCE.

HOW IN SWEET HADES, KATIE,
DO YOU MANAGE

TO KEEP YOUR LOOKS--

I MEAN, GROWN-UP CHILDREN
AND ALL?

EVERY MAN IN THIS ROOM IS DYING
TO GET HIS HANDS ON YOU.

COME ON, DARLINGS.
COME ON, DEARS, COME ALONG.

- OH, HARRY,
THAT'S SO SILLY.

- OH, KATIE, DARLING.

COME ALONG.

- HARRY, I--

- I WANT YOU TO MEET
THE MOST DIVINE MAN.

HE HASN'T TAKEN HIS EYES OFF YOU
SINCE YOU CAME IN.

- MONSIEUR.
- UH, NO, NO, THANKS.

UH, WAIT A MINUTE, MAYBE THIS
LITTLE THING RIGHT HERE.

WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?

OH, YOU DON'T SPEAK
ENGLISH, HUH?

- [speaking French]

IT LIFTS OFF
THE INHIBITIONS, MONSIEUR.

ALLOWS ONE TO GAZE
AT ONE'S INNER BEING.

- WELL.
- TRES DESIRABLE, NO?

- WELL, YEAH, I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT DOING THAT VERY THING.

HEY, THAT'S VERY TASTY.

YOU MEAN THAT'S REAL LIQUOR?

IT KIND OF TASTES LIKE
LICORICE WATER.

- OOH, OOH, OOH,
SIP IT SLOWLY, MONSIEUR.

SUCH A DRINK DOES NOT
MAKE FRIENDS IN A HURRY.

- WELL, THANKS VERY MUCH.

- [laughs]
MY DARLINGS.

THE MOST AMUSING THING--

MY DEAREST NICKY,
SO CHARMING AND HANDSOME,

WANTS TO GO TO WORK.

- NICKY?
[speaking French]

- STARTING AS A LITTLE MOUSE

IN SOME DREARY ARCHITECT'S
OFFICE BACK IN THE STATES.

CAN YOU IMAGINE
OUR NICHOLAS

SHARPENING PENCILS,
BUYING SANDWICHES,

RUNNING ERRANDS?
[laughter]

- CUT IT OUT, MOTHER.
- NICKY, DARLING.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY MONEY
AND YOU WANT TO EARN

A BIT OF YOUR OWN,
I'LL SPEAK TO SOME

OF MY DEAR, DULL FRIENDS,
AND YOU CAN HAVE

ALL THE COMMISSIONS
YOU WANT,

BUILDING LOVELY BUILDINGS
ALL OVER EUROPE.

AND HE CAN HAVE
HIS OWN LITTLE PEOPLE

TO RUN ERRANDS
AND SHARPEN PENCILS.

NOW, WHY ARE YOU GLARING
AT ME THAT WAY, NICKY DARLING?

EVERYTHING'S SO RIDICULOUS.

- LOVELY WOMAN.

- OH. OH.

YES, THAT HAPPENS TO BE--

- POOR CREATURE COMES
INNOCENTLY TO PARIS

AND RUNS DEAD-ON INTO THE LEADER
OF THE WOLF PACK.

- WHO?

- THE DEVIL HIMSELF,
RUDOLPH HUNSCHAK.

- OH.

- ARE YOU GOING TO SAY
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF HIM?

- NO, I'M SORRY,
I HAVEN'T.

- HUNSCHAK IS THE MOST
DANGEROUS MAN IN EUROPE.

- FOR WOMEN?
- FOR HUSBANDS.

RUDOLPH'S ONLY INTERESTED
IN A WOMAN IF SHE'S MARRIED.

IT'S HIS SPECIALITY.
- OH.

WELL, I'M AFRAID
HE'S GOING TO HAVE

A LITTLE PROBLEM
THIS TIME.

- AFRAID YOU DON'T KNOW
YOUR MAN, OLD CHAP.

RUDOLPH NEVER GIVES UP
UNTIL HE WINS.

- I'M AFRAID YOU DON'T KNOW
YOUR WOMAN, OLD CHAP.

- YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY
THAT YOU'RE THE--

I SAY, OLD MAN,
I'M MOST TERRIBLY SORRY I...

- VERY GOOD.

SAY, IF YOU DON'T MIND,
I, UH, FEEL KIND OF SILLY

WALKING AROUND WITH
THIS LITTLE EYEDROPPER, SO...

I BET YOU IT'LL SAVE YOU
A FEW STEPS.

OH, I'M SORRY.

I KEEP FORGETTING
YOU DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH.

MERCI.

- I'M SORRY, NICK.

- WHO DOES SHE THINK
SHE'S KIDDING?

SHE'S NOT ABOUT
TO TURN ME LOOSE, NOT HER.

OH, SHE MIGHT GO
FOR A WEDDING, ALL RIGHT.

GIVE HER A CHANCE TO PLAY
THE DOTING MOTHER FOR A WHILE.

BUT AFTERWARD, HONEY,
SHE'D SABOTAGE YOU

IN THREE DAYS FLAT.

- NICK, FORGET
ABOUT YOU AND ME.

THAT'S DONE WITH.

BUT HONESTLY, DON'T YOU THINK
YOU OUGHT TO GET AWAY FROM HERE,

GET A JOB,
FIND A PLACE FOR YOURSELF--

- AMY.

MOTHER'S A BIZARRE OLD GIRL,
BUT SHE'S SMART.

SHE KNOWS ME BETTER
THAN I DO MYSELF.

SHE KNOWS I COULDN'T MAKE IT
IN A LOUSY JOB

BACK IN NEW YORK.
- NICK, YOU'RE NOT--

- SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR.
JUST STAY OUT OF THIS.

- YOU'RE NOT BEING
FAIR TO YOURSELF.

- [speaking French]

- I'M SORRY,
WHAT DID YOU SAY?

- SHE SAID, WOULD YOU BE ANGRY
IF SHE DANCED WITH ME?

- [speaking French]

MADEMOISELLE AMY...
[speaking French]

- MERCI.

- NICK.

- LOOK, AMY.

ELOISA'S PERFECTLY SATISFIED
WITH ME THE WAY I AM.

SHE ISN'T TRYING
TO CHANGE ME.

- HARRY.

- OH, THERE YOU ARE, KATIE.

- I'D LIKE TO GO HOME NOW.
- GO HOME?

HOME'S THOUSANDS
OF MILES AWAY, KATIE.

WE'RE IN PARIS.
ENJOY YOURSELF, HAVE FUN.

ISN'T THAT WHAT
WE'RE HERE FOR?

HEY, WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE BOYFRIEND?

- YOU STOP THAT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
STOP IT, YOU HEAR ME?

- HOW CAN I HEAR YOU, KATIE,
WITH ALL THIS

GAY PARISIAN GAIETY
GOING ON?

- WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU
LIKE THIS BEFORE.

- I'VE NEVER BEEN
LIKE THIS BEFORE, KATIE.

I'M AWAKE.
I'M ALIVE.

FOR THE FIRST TIME,
I SEE MY WIFE

AS SHE REALLY IS--
A FEMME FATALE.

MEN FALLING ALL OVER THEMSELVES
TRYING TO GET NEAR YOU,

KISSING YOUR HAND...
- OH, HARRY, NOW, THAT'S--

- MAKING LOVE TO YOU
WITH THEIR EYES.

OOH, HERE HE COMES NOW.

- HERE YOU ARE, MADAME.

- THANK YOU.

- YOU ARE UNDOUBTEDLY
THE HUSBAND.

- OUI.
- I'M RUDOLPH HUNSCHAK.

I'VE BEEN ENJOYING YOUR WIFE--

SO SPARKLING, SO CHARMING,
SO FRESH.

- YOU'RE A LITTLE FRESH
YOURSELF, RUDOLPH.

I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU.

THEY TELL ME
YOU'RE QUITE A CHARACTER.

BUT THAT'S OKAY, JUST AS LONG
AS KATIE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME.

- IT'S GETTING VERY LATE.

- SUCH LOVELY HAIR,
SO DISTINCT.

WHO BUT SOMEONE
WITH A FACE LIKE MADAME

CAN MAKE THIS STYLE
A PERSONAL TRIUMPH?

- OH, REALLY?

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT
THE OLD WAY.

- IT'S GETTING VERY LATE.

- NOW, KATIE, IT'S JUST
THE SHANK OF THE EVENING.

- OH, NO, MR. WILLARD.

BETTER YOU TAKE
THE LOVELY MADAME SAFELY AWAY.

WITH MANY MEN AROUND HERE,
IT'S NOT SAFE.

- KATIE?
[laughs]

MY WIFE WOULD BE
SAFE ANYPLACE.

OH, NOW, KATIE,
I DIDN'T MEAN IT QUITE THAT WAY.

- I WOULD LIKE TO GO HOME.

- MADAME WILLARD
HAS BEEN DISCUSSING YOU.

SHE WILL SPEAK
OF LITTLE ELSE.

SHE WARNED ME
OF YOUR VIOLENT TEMPER.

BUT NOW THAT I MEET YOU,
I SEE THAT SHE EXAGGERATES.

- AH, PARDON ME, SWEETHEART.

DID SHE ALSO HAPPEN TO MENTION
THAT I WAS ONCE

A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER?
- WRESTLER?

WHAT IS THIS--OH.

I SEE THAT
YOU'RE PULLING MY LEG.

- [laughing]
BROTHER, WHEN I PULL YOUR LEG,

YOU'RE GOING TO KNOW IT.

[laughs]
TAKE IT EASY, KATIE.

WE'RE JUST HAVING A LITTLE
FRIENDLY DISCUSSION, THAT'S ALL.

OH.

OH...

BOY, YOU DO GET AROUND,
DON'T YOU?

OH, DON'T GO AWAY.
DON'T GO AWAY.

MERCI.

HI, BABY.

WHY AREN'T YOU IN THERE
"FOLDEROLLING" AROUND?

- NICHOLAS O'MARA, ESQUIRE.

BOY, I GUESS I KNOW HIM
FOR WHAT HE REALLY IS NOW.

"GET A JOB," I SAID.

THAT'S FUNNY.

HE'S THE ORIGINAL HOLLOW REED,
THAT'S WHAT HE IS.

- WELL, NOW, I THINK MAYBE
THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH OF THAT.

NOT THAT I'M JEALOUS--
I DON'T GET JEALOUS.

I DON'T LIKE IT--
THAT'S WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO.

- WITHOUT HIS LOVING MOTHER
TO BACK HIM UP,

HE COULDN'T GET A JOB
POURING WATER OUT OF A BOOT.

- SOME HUSBANDS WOULD BE
JEALOUS, BUT NOT ME.

BUT I CAN GET ANNOYED.

- DADDY, I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT
TO SPOIL MOTHER'S FUN,

BUT I FEEL LIKE A PERFECT FOOL
STAYING AROUND HERE.

WILL YOU TAKE ME
BACK TO THE HOTEL?

- YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE FELLOW
WITH THE BEARD WAS RIGHT.

THIS STUFF REALLY LOOSENS
UP YOUR INHIBITIONS.

NOW, THIS ISN'T A SUDDEN IMPULSE
ON MY PART, MIND YOU.

I THOUGHT OF IT WAY BACK--
WELL, SHORTLY AFTER

I SAT DOWN HERE.

I REASONED THE WHOLE THING OUT
VERY "CALCULATALY"--

UH, VERY CAREFULLY.

- DADDY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- NO REASON IN THE WORLD
WHY I SHOULDN'T DO IT.

OF COURSE
THERE MIGHT BE A COUPLE,

BUT WE'LL JUST IGNORE THEM.

- DO WHAT?

- HANG ONE NICE BIG SHANDY
ON RUDOLPH,

THE RED-NOSED HUNGARIAN.

NOW...

- DADDY.

DADDY?
- OH.

HI, BABY.

OH, BOY.

DID I HIT HIM
OR VICE VERSA?

- NO, I'M AFRAID
WHAT YOU WERE DRINKING

GOT YOU FIRST.

- THAT'S TOO BAD.

IT WAS THAT GREEN-LIQUOR STUFF.

I REMEMBER
WHEN I WAS A KID ONCE,

I GOT SICK FROM EATING
TOO MUCH LICORICE.

- HERE, DADDY, DRINK THIS.
- NO, NO.

I DON'T THINK I'D BETTER.

- COME ON, IT'LL BE
GOOD FOR YOU.

- WELL, OKAY.

I-I-I CAN SIT UP, I-I THINK.

YEAH.

THAT'S ENOUGH.

[sighs]

OH, YOU POOR KID.

YOU LEFT THE PARTY
ON ACCOUNT OF ME, HUH?

WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?
HAS SHE GONE TO BED?

- OH, NO,
SHE'S STILL AT THE PARTY.

- STILL AT THE PARTY?

OH, SHE DOESN'T KNOW, HUH?

- OH, DADDY,
I DIDN'T WANT TO UPSET HER.

YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY GREEN.

- I-I...

- BESIDES, A NICE CAB DRIVER
HELPED ME GET YOU

OUT THROUGH THE TERRACE
AND BACK TO THE HOTEL.

- THAT WAS NICE OF HIM.
- HERE, FINISH THIS.

- NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, THANKS.

HEY, I'VE GOT TO GO
AND RESCUE YOUR MOTHER

FROM THAT HUNGARIAN
WOLFHOUND.

- OOH, DADDY.
HADN'T YOU BETTER REST?

- NO, NO, NO.

THERE'S A TIME FOR REST
AND A TIME FOR ACTION.

WHERE--WHERE'S MY COAT?

- UH, IT'S OVER THERE.
- ALL RIGHT.

NOW, YOU BETTER
GO TO BED NOW.

THANKS FOR TAKING CARE OF ME.
GOOD NIGHT.

- HARRY?
- HMM?

OH, HI, THERE.
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- ALL RIGHT?

WHAT COULD HAPPEN TO ME?
OF COURSE I'M ALL RIGHT.

- WELL, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

- OH, OUT ON THE TOWN.

YOU KNOW, THE WAY YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE IN GAY OLD PARIS.

- YOU'RE UPSET, AREN'T YOU?

- UPSET? ME?
[laughs]

- WELL, THAT'S HILARIOUS.
- OH, SURE, THAT'S ME.

GOOD OLD HILARIOUS HARRY--

ALWAYS THERE TO COME HOME TO.

- HARRY, I WANT YOU
TO LISTEN TO ME.

ARE YOU LISTENING?
- MM.

- WELL, NOW, WHY DIDN'T YOU--

WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?

- OH, IF YOU THINK
IT'S IMPORTANT, I'LL LISTEN.

GO AHEAD.
- WE'LL YOU'D BETTER.

YOU JUST BETTER.

NOW WHY DIDN'T YOU
LEND A HELPING HAND

BACK AT THE PARTY?

YOU COULD SEE I NEEDED HELP
TO GET RID OF THAT LEECH.

- OH, NOW, KATIE,
IS THAT ANY WAY TO TALK

ABOUT A DASHING HUNGARIAN ROMEO
WHO'S JUST TAKEN YOU OUT

FOR A BEAUTIFUL EVENING?

- NOW GET OFF
YOUR HIGH HORSE.

- YOU KNOW, HON, I'M HUNGRY.

I THINK I'LL HAVE
SOMETHING SENT UP.

YOU DON'T MIND
IF I EAT WHILE YOU TALK, DO YOU?

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN ME.

HOW ABOUT SOME
HUNGARIAN GOULASH?

- HARRY WILLARD, NOW YOU SHUT UP
AND LISTEN TO ME.

YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL
ABOUT OTHER MEN,

ALL OTHER MEN,

AND ESPECIALLY THOSE
UNATTACHED HANDSOME JOES

THAT GO AROUND MAKING A PASS
AT EVERYONE WOMAN THEY MEET.

- OH, YOU THINK
HE'S HANDSOME, DO YOU?

AND WHEN DID HE MAKE THE PASS--
IN THE TAXI?

- RUDOLPH DIDN'T EXACTLY--
- YOU CALL HIM RUDOLPH NOW.

WHY NOT "RUDY?"

I COULDN'T HELP
KNOWING HIS NAME, COULD I?

I'VE BEEN WITH THE MAN
FOR FOUR HOURS.

- DID I ASK YOU
WHERE YOU'VE BEEN?

DID I ASK YOU ONCE?
- WELL, I'M TELLING YOU.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
SO CHARGED UP ABOUT, KATIE.

I THINK I'M BEING
A PERFECT GENTLEMAN,

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

- WELL, WHAT ABOUT
THE CIRCUMSTANCES

OF YOU GETTING STONED
AND LEAVING ME

HIGH AND DRY
AT THE PARTY?

I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING
ABOUT THE FACT

THAT RUDOLPH THOUGHT HE GLIMPSED
YOU LEAVING THE PARTY

WITH A YOUNG GIRL,

BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IT--
NOT YOU.

- OH, YOU KNOW ME BACKWARD
AND FORWARDS, DON'T YOU?

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU THOUGHT
TO CALL THE HOTEL HERE.

- I DID!
WELL, RATHER, RUDOLPH DID.

HE CALLED TWICE
AND SAID NO ONE ANSWERED.

- OH, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID, HUH?
- YES, HE DID.

AND HE ALSO SAID HE KNEW
EVERY BAR IN PARIS

WHERE AMERICANS WANDER INTO
WHEN THEY'VE HAD TOO MANY.

- OH.
- SO HE VOLUNTEERED TO HELP.

- I BET HE JUST COULDN'T
WAIT TO FIND ME.

- HARRY, IF YOU'RE GOING
TO BE JEALOUS,

I'D RATHER YOU STOP
PUSSYFOOTING AROUND

AND COME RIGHT OUT
AND BE JEALOUS.

DON'T BUILD IT
INTO SOMETHING ELSE.

- OH, YOU MEAN
THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE?

- IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS,
I'M GOING TO THROW SOMETHING.

- ALL RIGHT,
HOW ABOUT SOMETHING HEAVY?

HOW ABOUT THIS?

- OH, HARRY, SIT DOWN,
AND LET'S BE CALM.

- I'M CALM.
- WELL, SIT DOWN, ANYWAY.

I COULDN'T HELP IT.

I KNOW RUDOLPH PULLED
A FAST ONE.

HE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE YOU WERE,
AND HE DIDN'T CARE.

HE WANTED TO BE ALONE WITH ME.

- AHA, THEN YOU DO ADMIT THAT.

- DAMNATION, HARRY,
DAMNATION.

- SHH, WE HAVE NEIGHBORS,
YOU KNOW.

- DAMNATION
TO THE NEIGHBORS TOO.

I HAVE SOMETHING
I WANT TO TELL YOU.

- ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.

- WELL, WHEN I CAME OUT
OF THE LAST BAR,

LOOKING FOR YOU,
I CALLED A TAXI.

WELL, FRIEND RUDOLPH
HOPPED INTO THE TAXI WITH ME.

AND THEN DRIVING
THROUGH THE PARK--

- THROUGH THE PARK?
- YES, THROUGH THE PARK.

HOW DO I KNOW
WHAT HE TOLD THE DRIVER?

HE KISSED ME.

- HE KISSED YOU?
- YES.

NOW, YOU SEE,
I'M TELLING YOU EVERYTHING.

AND I SLAPPED HIM HARD
AND DID THAT FEEL GOOD.

- THE KISS?
- THE SLAP!

- OH.

- THEN I TOLD THE TAXI DRIVER
TO BRING ME HERE TOUT SUITE.

AND I COME IN HERE TO THIS,

TO YOU, ACTING LIKE THIS,
WHEN IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT

TO BEGIN WITH.

AND A LOT
OF APPRECIATION I GET,

TRAIPSING ALL OVER TOWN
LOOKING FOR YOU.

AND IF YOU DON'T TAKE
THAT EXPRESSION OFF YOUR FACE,

I'M GOING TO SLAP IT.

- ALL I KNOW IS
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT

TO KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE
DOESN'T WANT TO BE KISSED.

- WHY, YOU--

NOW I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED.

- DO YOU WANT TO GET US
TOSSED OUT OF HERE?

YOU MIGHT HAVE HIT
SOMEBODY DOWN THERE.

KATIE.

KATIE.

- YOU OUGHT TO COME
BACK IN, POP.

THE WATER'S GREAT.
[laughter]

- MY FRENCH IS PRETTY BAD.

I WANT TO ASK YOU,
WHAT'S THE WORD FOR THIS?

- LA CHEVEUX.

- LA CHEVEUX?
- OUI.

- GOOD, GREAT.

NOW--NOW, WHAT'S THE WORD
FOR THIS?

- LA OEIL.
- LA OEIL?

- [laughing] NO.
LA OEIL.

- LA OEIL.
- OUI.

- OH, JE COMPRENDS,
JE COMPRENDS.

NOW--NOW, WHAT'S THIS?
WHAT'S THIS RIGHT THERE?

- LA BOUCHE.

- LA BOUCHE.
- OUI.

- NOW, WHAT'S THIS RIGHT HERE?

- WELL, ONE THING YOU'VE GOT
TO SAY ABOUT THAT KID.

HE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE AN ASSET
OUT OF A LANGUAGE BARRIER.

- HOW DO YOU LIKE
ELLIOTT'S MUSTACHE, POP?

- I THINK I LIKE THE ONE
ON THE GIRL'S MOTHER BETTER.

- SHE SURE IS KEEPING
A CLOSE WATCH ON HIM.

- PERSONALLY,
I DON'T BLAME HER.

- ONE THING--THEY SURE GOT
A LOT OF GIRLS AROUND HERE.

- YEAH, THAT ONE-TRACK MIND
OF ELLIOTT'S IS LIABLE TO CRACK

UNDER THE WHOLE
WONDERFUL STRAIN.

- HOLA, MONSIEUR.

- MERCI, MONSIEUR.

[speaking French]

S'IL VOUS PLAIT.
- OUI.

- OH, NO, MONSIEUR.
KEEP THE CHANGE.

- MERCI BEAUCOUP, MONSIEUR.

- YOU KNOW, MONEY'S LIKE A BIRD.
IT COMES, AND IT GOES.

[knock at door]

- OH.

- MADAME WILLARD.
- OH, MERCI.

- WHY, HARRY...

YOU'RE A DARLING.
THANK YOU.

- UH, KATIE.
- YOU DIDN'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE.

IT WAS JUST AS MUCH
MY FAULT IN PARIS

AS IT WAS YOURS.
- NOW, LOOK, KATIE.

- YOU ALWAYS SEND ME FLOWERS
WHEN YOU FEEL GUILTY

ABOUT SOMETHING.

- I DON'T FEEL GUILTY
ABOUT ANYTHING,

AND I DIDN'T SEND YOU
THE FLOWERS.

IF ANYBODY SHOULD
FEEL GUILT ABOUT SOMETHING...

"DEAR MADAME WILLARD"--
I SUPPOSE IT SHOULD BE WILL-ARD.

"IS IT NOT
A BEAUTIFUL COINCIDENCE

"THAT I HAPPENED TO ARRIVE
ON BUSINESS?

"WE SHALL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY
TO CONTINUE OUR CONVERSATION,

"WHICH BEGAN SO CHARMINGLY
IN PARIS.

"KINDEST REGARDS
TO YOUR HUSBAND."

OH, I'LL BET.

"WITH DEEP ADMIRATION,
RUDOLPH."

- WELL, ISN'T THAT ODD?

- YES, IT IS ODD.

HOW DID HE FIND OUT
WE WERE HERE?

- WELL, I DON'T
REALLY KNOW, DEAR.

UH, IT COULD HAVE COME OUT
OF A CONVERSATION

AT THE CONTESSA'S.

- OH.

- BUT THEY ARE LOVELY,
AREN'T THEY?

- YEAH, I GUESS,
IF YOU HAPPEN TO LIKE FLOWERS.

[sighs]

- HAVING A GOOD TIME, POP?
- [chuckles]

YOU KNOW, SKIPPER,

RIGHT NOW IS PRACTICALLY
THE FIRST MOMENT OF PEACE

I'VE HAD
SINCE WE LEFT TERRE HAUTE.

- POP?
- HMM?

- IT'S AMY.

- UH, WHERE'S SHE
BEEN KEEPING HERSELF?

I'VE HARDLY SEEN THE GIRL
SINCE WE GOT DOWN HERE.

- POP, YOU BETTER
TAKE A LOOK.

- NOT NOW.
- POP!

- ALL RIGHT, WHERE?

- YOU CAN'T MISS HER.

IT'S THAT LEOPARD DEAL
COMING DOWN THE BOARDWALK.

- OH, YOU MUST BE
MISTAKEN, SKIPPER.

THAT COULDN'T BE AMY.

NO...

NOT MY LITTLE GIRL.

[barking]

[men whistling]

- JUST WHAT DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?

- WELL, MR. O'MARA,

WON'T THE GIRLS IN PARIS
BE LONELY WITH YOU HERE?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THAT CREEPY SUIT?

- WILL YOU PLEASE
LET ME ALONE?

- I SUGGEST YOU DO
AS MADEMOISELLE WISHES.

- NOW, WHAT'S THE IDEA
EXPOSING YOURSELF

TO EVERYONE LIKE THAT?

- STRANGE--

I THOUGHT YOU LIKED YOUR GIRLS
EASY AND BREEZY.

WELL, MAYBE I'M JUST
A LITTLE BIT TIRED

OF BEING SWEET, SQUARE AMY
FROM TERRE HAUTE.

- SHUT UP AND GET
BACK TO THE HOTEL...

RIGHT NOW, AND PUT ON
SOMETHING DECENT.

- MONSIEUR, YOU ARE BECOMING
A NUISANCE.

- PLEASE, NICK.
- I SAID, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON,

AND I MEAN IT.

- WILL YOU LET ME GO?
- AMY!

HEY, FELLOWS, NOW--

AMY!

AMY.

AMY, YOU COME BACK HERE!

AMY!

AMY.

- THANKS.

HEY!

HEY.

- AMY!

[engine sputtering]

[engine turning]

- [crying]

- I'M SORRY, BABY,
SO VERY SORRY.

- I GUESS I'M JUST NOT
AS GROWN-UP AS I THOUGHT I WAS.

- I DON'T LIKE SEEING THINGS
LIKE THIS HAPPEN TO YOU.

I FEEL SO HELPLESS.

WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE GIRL,
I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT TO DO,

BUT NOW I--

- ONLY ONE PERSON CAN HELP ME
NOW, DADDY, AND THAT'S ME.

I'M NEVER GOING
TO SEE NICK AGAIN.

YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT HIM ALL ALONG.

- I DON'T WANT
TO BE RIGHT, AMY.

I JUST WANT YOU
TO BE HAPPY.

I KNOW NOTHING I COULD SAY
RIGHT NOW COULD HELP.

ONLY ONE MORE DAY, BABY,
AND WE'LL BE LEAVING FOR HOME,

WHERE WE REALLY BELONG.

MAYBE WHEN WE GET BACK THERE,
ALL THIS WON'T SEEM

SO IMPORTANT, HMM?

- [crying]

- SO TOMORROW
WE'RE LEAVING FOR HOME.

[speaking French]

- OUI.

- BUT FIRST, MY WIFE--
MY FEMME AND I

ARE GOING TO HELP YOU FRANCAIS
CELEBRATE BASTILLE DAY.

TONIGHT WE'RE GOING
OUT ON THE TOWN.

UH, SUR LA VIE.
- OUI.

- UH, DINNER, DANCING,
MONTE CARLO.

UH, WE'RE GOING TO SHOOT
THE WORKS.

[laughing] I DON'T KNOW
THE FRENCH FOR THAT.

UNE PLUS GRANDE SOIREE.
- OUI, MONSIEUR.

- IT SURE IS A SHAME
I HAVE TO LEAVE FRANCE

JUST WHEN I'M GETTING
SO I CAN HANDLE THE LANGUAGE.

NE PAS?
JUST PUT IT THERE.

S'IL VOUS PLAIT.
- HI, POP.

- OH, BONJOUR, ELLIOTT.
WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU TODAY?

WELL, UH,
BONJOUR, MADEMOISELLE.

- DAD, YOU REMEMBER FLORELLE.

- NO.
- FROM THE BEACH.

- OH.

I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HER
WITH HER--I MEAN, SHE--

WELL, HOW ARE
THE, UH, FRENCH LESSONS COMING?

- [sobbing]

- AND THIS IS HER MOTHER, DAD--
MADAME CLEBERT.

- YES, BONJOUR.

- YOUR SON, MONSIEUR,
WILL INFORM YOU

THAT WE ARE HERE
ON A MISSION.

- OH?
WHAT MISSION IS THAT?

- DAD, I--

- VERY WELL, MONSIEUR.

THEN IT IS MY DUTY TO SPEAK.

IT CANNOT BE DONE.

THE RICH AMERICAN CANNOT DO
THIS THING.

- WHAT CAN HE NOT DO?

- IT MAY SEEM NOTHING
IN YOUR COUNTRY, MONSIEUR.

BUT YOU WILL FIND
IT IS A COSTLY BUSINESS HERE.

- BUT WHAT IS?

- AH...
[chuckles]

HE SMILES.

HE MAKES AMERICAN JOKE.

IT IS NOT AMUSING, MONSIEUR,
YOU WILL FIND.

THE POLICE TAKE INTEREST
IN PROTECTING THE VIRTUE

OF MY DAUGHTER.
- POP, I--

- WOULD YOU SHUT UP,
RICH AMERICAN?

- BELIEVE ME, DAD,
I DIDN'T--

- WILL YOU PIPE DOWN, PLEASE?

GO ON, MADAME.

- [speaking French]

IF YOU WISH THE SCANDAL,

YOU MAY HAVE THE SCANDAL.

BUT YOU WISH TO CLOSE THE MATTER
WITHOUT A SCANDAL,

WE CAN DO SO WITH QUICKNESS.

- I SEE.

MADAME, UH, HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY
COMPENSATE YOU

FOR THE VIRTUE
OF YOUR DAUGHTER?

- DAD, IF I COULD JUST
SAY SOMETHING--

- HOW MUCH, MADAME?

- MONSIEUR COMPREND, YES.

HE DOES NOT GO WILD
IN THE EYE.

OH, MONSIEUR--
INTELLIGENT MAN.

- THANK YOU.

HOW MUCH?

- OUT OF THE WISDOM
OF HIS UNDERSTANDING,

WHICH I SEE DEMONSTRATION,

MY DAUGHTER AND MYSELF

LEAVE THIS MATTER IN THE HAND
OF THE SO INTELLIGENT...

[speaking French]

MONSIEUR.

- OH, WELL, FINE.

BECAUSE STRANGELY ENOUGH,
I FEEL THERE'S GOING TO BE

A HAPPY ENDING
FOR BOTH FLORELLE AND MY SON.

- MONSIEUR?

- SIT DOWN, ELLIOTT.

MADAME, YOU HAVE MADE ME
A VERY HAPPY MAN.

MY SON WILL MARRY
YOUR DAUGHTER.

- MARRY?

- HEY, POP!
- YOU SHUT YOUR YAP.

THAT'S THE WAY WE DO THINGS
BACK IN TERRE HAUTE, MADAME.

YOU KNOW, FOR A WHILE THERE,
I WAS AFRAID

WE'D NEVER FIND A WIFE
FOR THIS BOY.

BUT YOUR LOVELY DAUGHTER IS
AN ANSWER TO A FATHER'S PRAYER.

- OH, MONSIEUR MAKES THE JOKES.
[laughs]

- NO, MONSIEUR DOES NOT
MAKE THE JOKE.

SIT DOWN, MADAME.
TAKE A LOAD OFF YOUR FEET.

MY WIFE SHOULD BE
HERE ANY MINUTE.

AS LONG AS YOU'RE GOING TO BE
IN THE FAMILY,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL
MEET US ALL, HUH?

- MAMA, HE SPEAKS
OF THE MARRIAGE?

- YES, THAT'S WHAT
HE SPEAKS OF.

- MONSIEUR IS...

HOW YOU SAY, COMICAL MAN?

HMM?
[laughs]

MONSIEUR MAKES THE JOKES.

- [chuckles nervously]

- NO, HE DOES NOT
MAKE THE JOKE.

MONSIEUR IS VERY SERIOUS.

- POP, I HATE
TO INTERRUPT YOU--

- WELL, THEN DON'T.

NOW, LET'S SEE, MADAME.

HOW OLD DID YOU SAY
YOUR DAUGHTER WAS?

WELL, SHE'S NOT AS YOUNG
AS SHE LOOKS, IS SHE?

BUT THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
AS LONG AS SHE'S A GOOD WORKER.

IS SHE STRONG?
- STRONG?

- YES, FOR THE FARM.

SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO WORK
ON THE FARM.

- FARM?
- OH, YES, YES.

YOU SEE, MADAME, YOU'VE GOT
THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT AMERICANS.

THEY'RE NOT ALL RICH,
YOU KNOW?

NOW YOU TAKE US--WE'VE JUST GOT
THIS LITTLE ROCKY OLD FARM

BACK IN INDIANA.

NOW, OF COURSE, ON OUR FARM,
THE WOMEN DO MOST OF THE WORK.

LIKE, MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER WORK
FROM WAY BEFORE SUNUP

TO WAY AFTER SUNDOWN.

WE CAN SURE USE ANOTHER HAND.
NOW, HOW IS FLORELLE WITH COWS?

- COWS?

- WELL, HOW ABOUT SHEEP, THEN?

- SHEEP?
[speaking French]

WE JUST ESCAPED THE SHEEP.

THAT IS WHY WE LEFT NORMANDY,
TO ESCAPE THE SHEEP.

- OH, WELL, THAT JUST SHOWS YOU
HOW LIFE GOES ROUND AND ROUND,

DOESN'T IT?

I'LL TELL YOU--
MAYBE WE'LL JUST PUT HER

IN CHARGE OF SLOPPING
THE HOGS, HUH?

- MAMA.

- I THINK THIS WHOLE
HAPPY OCCASION

CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION,
MADAME, HUH?

COME ON, NOW,
WE'LL HAVE SOME CHAMPAGNE.

COME RIGHT ALONG.

THIS IS THE WAY WE OPEN IT
OUT IN THE WILD WEST.

I HOPE THIS IS A GOOD YEAR.

I KNOW HOW FUSSY YOU FRENCH ARE
ABOUT YOUR CHAMPAGNE.

- OH, MONSIEUR.
- I BEG YOUR PARDON.

- [speaking French]

- WELL, FOU TO YOU
TOO, MADAME.

- [speaking French]

- OH, DON'T LEAVE.
THE PARTY'S JUST STARTED.

- YOU KNOW, I GOT TO HAND IT
TO YOU, POP.

SHE REALLY THOUGHT
YOU WERE FOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT FOU IS?

FOU IS THE FRENCH WORD
FOR CRAZY, POP.

- ELLIOTT--
- NO, POP!

NO!

- HELLO, DARLING.
- OH, HI, KATIE.

- DID YOU HAVE A NICE DAY?

- OH, JUST ROUTINE.

- OH, HARRY, I'M SO EXCITED.
THIS IS OUR NIGHT,

JUST THE TWO OF US--

ABSOLUTELY NO CHILDREN.

HARRY, IT'S GOING TO BE
THE MOST PERFECT EVENING....

WITHOUT ONE JARRING NOTE
TO SPOIL IT, NOT ONE.

- KATIE, I, UH--

- AND THAT INCLUDES RUDOLPH
AND HIS STUPID FLOWERS.

- BUT THOSE WERE--

MY FLOWERS.

[indistinct chatter]

WELL...

- HARRY, I MEANT WHAT I SAID.

I WANT THIS TO BE
A WONDERFUL EVENING,

AND IF YOU DO
ONE SINGLE THING TO SPOIL IT...

- I'M NOT GOING
TO SPOIL ANYTHING.

HEY, YOU'RE WINNING.

- YES, HOW'D YOU DO?
- I LOST IT ALL.

- OH, HERE.

- OH, THANK YOU, I'LL GIVE YOU
AN I.O.U. LATER, OKAY?

I THINK I'LL TRY A LITTLE
CHEMIN DE FER.

- AH, THE HUSBAND, AS USUAL.

I WOULDN'T TRY ANYTHING VIOLENT
IF I WERE YOU, MR. WILLARD.

I'M A MASTER OF KARATE.

[all screaming]

- I CAN FIND MY OWN WAY OUT.

WELL, OUT THE BACK DOOR, HUH?

WELL, THANKS
VERY MUCH, FELLOWS.

WELL, GOOD EVENING.

TELL ME, DO EITHER
OF YOU FELLOWS SPEAK ENGLISH?

I MEAN, UH--

WELL, YOU DON'T.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T BELIEVE
I'VE EVER BEEN

IN THIS PART
OF TOWN BEFORE.

IT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU
TO SHOW ME AROUND LIKE THIS.

YOU SHOULDN'T GO
TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.

MY, THIS IS CERTAINLY
A WONDERFUL PLACE, ISN'T IT?

OH, I'LL TELL YOU.
WELL--

WELL, YOU COULD JUST DROP ME
ANYPLACE ALONG HERE, FELLOWS.

AFTER ALL, THIS IS--
THANKS VERY MUCH, FELLOWS.

WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.

- [speaking French]

IT'S ALL RIGHT, MR. WILLARD.
HE SAID YOU COULD COME WITH ME.

- WELL, THANKS.

- THEY, UH, DON'T LIKE
UNFAVORABLE PUBLICITY

AT THE CASINO, SO THEY TURN
UNDESIRABLE CHARACTERS

OVER TO THE FRENCH POLICE
THIS WAY.

- HOW DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, THAT LITTLE CAFE THERE
IS SMACK ON THE BORDER.

THE FRONT DOOR'S IN MONACO,
AND THE BACK DOOR'S RIGHT HERE

ON THE BORDER OF FRANCE.
IT'S DONE ALL THE TIME.

- YEAH.

WELL, I'VE GOT TO LET
MY WIFE KNOW

WHAT HAPPENED
TO ME SOME WAY.

- I SENT HER BACK
TO THE HOTEL IN A TAXI.

- WELL, I APPRECIATE THAT.

I'M SORRY TO HAVE CAUSED
YOU SO MUCH TROUBLE.

- HOP IN. I'LL DRIVE YOU BACK
TO THE HOTEL.

I GOT A FEW QUESTIONS
I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU, SIR.

- ALL RIGHT, NICK.

MAYBE THERE ARE A COUPLE
I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU TOO.

- WHY'D YOU SOCK HIM?

- [chuckles]
THAT'S EASY.

HE HAD IT COMING.

- YOU DID IT BECAUSE
YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH YOUR WIFE,

DIDN'T YOU?

- YEAH.

- HOW LONG YOU BEEN MARRIED?

- 22 YEARS.

- HONEST...

22 YEARS.

THE SAME WOMAN--
YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER.

I MEAN, YOU DON'T JUST LOVE HER,
NOT JUST THAT.

YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HER.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- THAT'S WHY
YOU SOCKED HIM, HUH?

- SURE.
AND I'D DO IT AGAIN.

YOU WANT TO TURN AROUND
AND GO BACK, I'LL SHOW YOU.

- [chuckles]

- CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION NOW?

- SHOOT.

- TELL ME...

WHAT'S GOING ON
BETWEEN YOU AND AMY?

I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU
THAT BUSINESS

ABOUT "A FATHER HAS A RIGHT,"
BUT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.

- I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN.

- TRY.

- WELL, IT GOES
A LONG WAY BACK.

I'M JUST GETTING IT
STRAIGHT MYSELF.

YOU SEE, I NEVER MET ANYONE
LIKE YOU BEFORE,

LIKE AMY EITHER.

WHEN SHE LEFT PARIS,
MY WORLD FELL APART.

I BEGAN TO THINK I WAS
REALLY IN LOVE, MR. WILLARD,

I MEAN, REALLY IN LOVE.

BUT I KNEW THAT WAS
A PHONY IDEA.

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT
I KEPT TELLING MYSELF,

'CAUSE I KNEW BETTER.

YOU FOLLOW ME?

- GO ON.

- WELL, I FOLLOWED AMY
DOWN FROM PARIS.

AND YOU SAW
WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

SHE BOUGHT THAT
STUPID BATHING SUIT

'CAUSE SHE THOUGHT IT MADE HER
INTO THE KIND OF GIRL I WANTED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.

GOT HER OUT IN THAT BOAT.

I TOLD HER SHE WAS NOTHING
BUT A POOR LITTLE HICK,

THAT YOU WERE ALL HICKS,
WHO DIDN'T KNOW

THE FIRST THING ABOUT REALITIES,
THAT YOU WERE ALL

RUINING HER LIFE, AND SHE
COULD CHOOSE RIGHT THEN

BETWEEN YOU AND ME.

YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED THEN.

I'M THE WORLD'S WORST,
MR. WILLARD.

YOU HAD ME PEGGED
FROM THE VERY BEGINNING,

DIDN'T YOU?

- WELL, I--

- AFTER 22 YEARS,
YOU'RE STILL IN LOVE

WITH YOUR WIFE, AREN'T YOU?

I WOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED
THAT WAS POSSIBLE.

- NICK, WHY DON'T YOU COME IN
AND TALK TO AMY?

ANYTHING YOU WANT ME
TO TELL HER?

- NO.

I'M, UH, GOING
BACK TO NEW YORK.

I'M GOING TO TAKE
THAT LOUSY JOB.

WHO KNOWS? MAYBE I CAN MAKE
SOMETHING OUT OF MYSELF.

- GOOD-BYE, NICK.

- TAKE CARE OF AMY,
MR. WILLARD.

SEE THAT SHE'S, UH...

WELL, YOU KNOW,
JUST TAKE CARE OF HER, HUH?

- I WILL, NICK.

- WHY COULDN'T I HAVE HAD
AN OLD MAN LIKE YOU?

- DADDY?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

WE'VE BEEN SO WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.

- OH, YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT.

DIDN'T YOU SEE WHO THAT WAS?

HE SAID HE WAS GOING
TO NEW YORK.

HE SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT TAKING THAT LOUSY JOB.

- WELL,
FOR GOODNESS SAKES, DADDY,

STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.

- WELL, DOESN'T THAT MEAN
ANYTHING TO YOU?

- OH, OF COURSE IT DOES.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO DO, FALL APART?

GIVE YOURSELF
A LITTLE CREDIT, DADDY.

YOU RAISED A GIRL
WITH SOME GUMPTION.

- WELL, AMY, I--
- HEY, POP!

WE HEARD ABOUT
THE BIG RHUBARB--WHAM!

- IS IT TRUE, DAD?

THEY SAID YOU PRACTICALLY
WRECKED THE CASINO

WITH ONE PUNCH.
- YEAH!

- WELL, NOT THE WHOLE CASINO,
BUT NEVER MIND THAT.

DO YOU KNOW
WHERE YOU MOTHER IS?

- SHE'S OVER THERE.

- I THINK I'M IN TROUBLE.

- OH, UH, AMY?

- OH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT ME, POP.

I'M GOING OUT
WITH MY TWO BROTHERS TONIGHT.

YOU TAKE CARE
OF YOUR OWN PROBLEMS.

- OKAY.

WELL...

I'M SORRY, KATIE.
- SORRY?

- I DIDN'T MEAN
TO SPOIL YOUR EVENING.

- SPOIL IT?

IT'S STILL BY ALL ODDS,
ON ALL COUNTS

THE MOST PERFECT EVENING
OF MY LIFE.

- REALLY, KATIE?

- [speaking French]

- OH, OUI, INDEED.

- I WOULDN'T WANT IT
TO GET AROUND TERRE HAUTE,

BUT MY FAVORITE MEMORY
WILL ALWAYS BE

THE EXPRESSION
ON RUDOLPH'S FACE

AS HE LAY AMONGST
THE SHATTERED RUINS

OF THE ROULETTE TABLE.
[both laughing]

- [speaking French]

- OH, THAT'S ME IN THERE.
WELL, I'LL DRINK TO THAT.

- BOTTOMS UP.

- BOTTOMS UP.
OKAY.

- AH.
- AH.

- VIVE LA FAMILY WILLARD.

- OUI.

- VIVE AMY.
- VIVE AMY.

- VIVE SKIPPER.
- VIVE SKIPPER.

VIVE EVEN ELLIOTT.
[both laugh]

- BOTTOMS UP?
- MM.

- OKAY.

- AH.

OH, I FORGOT--
VIVELA BELLE FRANCE.

AND A HAPPY BASTILLE DAY
TO YOU.

- THANK YOU, MADAME.

- [laughs]

VIVE MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE.

BOTTOMS UP.

[distant music playing]

- DO I HEAR MUSIC?

- OF COURSE, MADAME.

THEY ARE CELEBRATING
IN THE SQUARE NEARBY.

- WITHOUT US?
- JUST HERE, YEAH.

- HARRY, COME ON.
- OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

- OH, MERCI, MONSIEUR.
- THANK YOU.

- OH, THANK YOU.

MERCI.

- OH!
- I'LL GO GET A TAXI.

- A TAXI, WHEN WE CAN FLY?

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FLY?

KATIE?

YOU FORGOT YOUR SHOES.

KATIE.

HEY, WAIT, WAIT.

WAIT A MINUTE, KATIE.

HEY, KATE!

I JUST WANT TO GIVE
MY WIFE HER SHOES.

- HEY!

- HEY, KATE!

WHAT'S THE MATTER, OFFICER?
WHAT DID I DO?

OH, YOU THINK I'M CHASING--
LOOK, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S JUST MY WIFE.
- [speaking French]

- NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT.

LOOK, I'M TRYING TO GIVE HER
HER SHOES, SEE?

[speaking French]
IT'S MY WIFE.

I'LL TELL YOU,
THERE'S THE RING, SEE, OKAY?

- NO--OKAY.

- WELL, HI.

- EXCUSEZ-MOI.
- YEAH, EXCUSE US MORE.

- I LOVE YOU, HARRY.
I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE HIM.

WE HAVEN'T SAID THAT
IN A LONG TIME.

HAVE WE?
- NO.

YOU SEE, THIS IS MY WIFE.
MY FEMME.

ALL RIGHT?

- OKAY.

[celebratory music]

*

- UH, YEAH.

OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?
[chuckles]

ALL RIGHT.

UH, MAYBE UNDER HERE, HUH?

- EXCUSE ME.

- OUR CHILDREN ARE HERE.

- DO WE HAVE CHILDREN?

DIDN'T WE JUST MEET?

DO WE HAVE CHILDREN ALREADY?

- MM-HMM.

- * BON VOYAGE
[fireworks exploding]

* MON CHERI

* [singing in French]

*

* BON VOYAGE

* BON VOYAGE

* BON VOYAGE