All language subtitles for Adam Ruins Everything s02e17 Give Me Liberty or Give Me Truth.eng

History, that
immortal chain of events

that links the present
to the past.

Ooh, are you
talking about history?

I love history!

What was that?

Is someone talking
during my intro?

Hello?
Ugh, maybe I'm hearing things.

Where was I?
Ah, yes.

Put down your smartphones

and let me, your trusty
uncorrectable narrator

guide you through
my animated chronicle

of fascinating
historical facts.

Let us begin
with the founding of our nation,

The American Revolution.

It's the story of honest,
faithful George Washington,

who led his band of patriots
to victory.

Come, patriots!
Fight for liberty!

- For freedom!
- For liberty!

And 'cause we
hate tea for some reason!

Actually...

Patriots like Paul Revere,

whose midnight ride
saved Boston.

The British are coming,
the British are coming!

- Uh, that's not...
- The British are coming!

And the brave soldiers
of the continental army,

who, united by a desire
to be free, overcame tyranny.

Actually, everything
you just said is wrong.

That's it!
Who do you think you are

interrupting my show?

Hi, I'm Adam!

- Adam?
- Who in the...

Ah, you must be one
of the Frenchmen.

You don't come in until later.

I'm not French.

You're gonna tell me
you're not French

with hair
and clothes like that?

Nope, not French,
but destroying misconceptions

is my raison d'�tre.

Many of the stories
we know about the Revolution

aren't really history.
They're myths.

So I'm here to set
the record straight.

Stop dog-earing the page,
you jerk!

You're ruining it!

Sorry, ruining
is kinda my thing.

I'm Adam Conover and this is
"Reanimated History."

??

*ADAM RUINS EVERYTHING*
Season 02 Episode 17 Title: "American Revolution"

The American Revolution.

Those fateful years
when General George Washington

inspired a group of patriots,
bound by their love of freedom,

to form the mighty
continental army.

- Three cheers for liberty, freedom,
- Three cheers for liberty, freedom,

- and our beloved General Washington!
- And our beloved General Washington!

Oh, that's a nice story.

But the truth is,
the Continental Army

wasn't made up of patriots.

It was mostly drunks,
immigrants and poor farmers

looking to get paid.

Ugh, The Frenchman again!

Where are you?

I'm the horse now.
Isn't animation fun?

Ahh!

Down, down!

Okay, just ask nicely.

What are you talking about?

The Continental Army formed

due to a groundswell
of patriotic pride!

Not in the slightest.

In fact, in 1775, as few
as one in five colonists

even supported
the Independence movement,

and much of that support

came from wealthy
land-owning elites.

It'd be great for me
if we were our own country.

The king's taxes are really
hurting my bottom line.

But the average colonist
didn't care about patriotism at all.

I've got a farm to tend.

I don't care which elitist
wig-head is in charge!

___

Beer hats!
We should make 'em.

And on top of that,
about a third of the colonists

actually supported
the British side.

I rather like
being British.

Have you tried our tea?
It's divine.

What? But I
thought these people

had so much of that
patriotic spirit!

No, they didn't.

Even Washington
himself said...

Without the support
of the people,

Washington
and the Continental Congress

were desperate for an army.

So they resorted
to shady recruitment practices

to raise their ranks.

Let's go trick some rubes into
fighting against their will!

Ya-haw!

Ahh! Maybe we should
have a safe word.

How about "bibliography"?

Hyah!
Ahh!

Come on, how shady
could they possibly have been?

First, they offered money
to bribe potential recruits.

I know you don't
want to fight,

but maybe my friend
Mr. Washington

can change your mind?

Who the hell's
Mr. Washington?

I am.

I'll be on the money,
eventually.

It's a bribe, I'm bribing you.

Bribe?
Why didn't you say so?

Give me a gun, I'll shoot
those red jackets.

But the Continental
Army didn't actually have

enough money
to pay the soldiers,

so most received IOUs.

Here you are,
you can cash it in

at the end of the war,
if we win.

And if you don't lose that.
And if you survive!

What?

Nothing!

Don't worry,
it'll be fine.

Next, they'd walk into bars
beating a drum

and literally march people into
the army while they were drunk.

Join the army!
Join the army!

Join the army!
Join the army!

Let's follow
that drummer boy!

He's leading us to Christmas.

Join the army!

- Join the army!
- Join the army!

Hey, thanks, Santa Claus.

They would even trick
immigrants with limited English

into signing enlistment
contracts they couldn't read.

Here, sign this.
It's, uh, the check.

___

Ha ha, you idiot!

You just agreed to be
in the army!

Oh, I got you good!

But the dirtiest trick of all

is when they would frame
colonists for crimes

and have courts punish them
with forced enlistment.

That man stole my baby!

The punishment for
baby-snatching is...

permanent enlistment!

And that baby isn't old
enough to be in this bar.

Enlistment!

Junior!

Okay, so some
underhanded tactics

were used to fill out the ranks,

but the rest of the army
were brave volunteers.

Please tell me they were.

Sorry.
Even with all that chicanery,

Washington still didn't
have enough men,

so the colonies had to resort
to something very unpopular.

Still not enough men.

We need...
a draft.

One draft, coming up.

No, not a draft beer!

Mandatory conscription.

And also, wasting beer
is a crime,

you have to join the army.

A draft? Like in Vietnam?

No!

I'm afraid so.
And what's even worse

is that the wealthy elites
who the war benefitted the most

were able to avoid the draft
by paying poor people

to take their place.

I'd fight, but I don't want
my wig to get dirty.

Make me proud.

Oh, wow, my life
in exchange for money.

Seems fair.

All right, let's get you
on the front lines.

I can't believe this.

You're telling me
Washington's army

was made up of people who were
drafted, tricked or paid off?

Yep, and as a result,

desertion
was a constant problem.

As many as 20%
of all the soldiers

in the Continental Army
ended up deserting.

All right, let's slam
some red coats!

Who's with me?

___

So Washington decided to
enforce a statute that said...

"Any soldier
who abandons his post

will receive little mercy
and suffer death immediately."

No, Washington would
never threaten to kill his own men!

That's blasphemy!

Oh, he didn't just threaten.

Some soldiers were so upset

about the poor conditions
and lack of pay

that they coordinated
full-blown mutinies.

In one case, 200 continental
soldiers mutinied,

but they were soon captured.

We must make an example
of these traitors.

Put them in front
of a firing squad

and make their own friends
pull the trigger.

Assemble all the regiments
to bear witness,

so that every soldier
may know the price

that is paid for treachery!

That didn't really happen.

I cannot tell a lie.
It did.

Support for the war effort
was so minimal,

that Washington resorted
to killing his own men

just to keep his army
of bribed, drunk, confused,

and impoverished colonists
together to fight

for a cause they had
no interest in defending.

Economic freedom
for wealthy elites.

That's terrible.

Were there no patriots at all?

No, of course there were.

Have you ever heard
of the enslaved man

who became a spy and turned
the tide of the war?

No, I have not.

Where have you been?
Are you deserting, too?

Bad horse!

I'll tell you in a sec.
Ahh!

Bibliography!
Bibliography!

You've heard about

George Washington
and Alexander Hamilton.

But there's one
revolutionary hero

we never talk about,
even though we should.

Oh, now the hairdo's got
some great history story, huh?

Well, if you think
you can be a narrator,

go ahead and give it a try.
Wow me.

Oh, okay.

Allow me to tell you the tale
of the slave who became a spy

and helped to secure
the patriot victory.

Okay, that's
actually a pretty good start.

Thank you.
His name was James

and he's an unsung badass
of history.

The year is 1781.

General Washington and Commander
Marquis de Lafayette of France

are in the dark about
the British army's plans.

If we don't figure out

what those redcoats
are up to in Virginia,

we are finished!

What are they doing?

Je ne sais pas, Monsieur.

They are British,
so maybe breeding Corgis?

Meanwhile in Virginia,

an enslaved man named James

did not like his home state
being invaded.

Virginia sucks!

That's it!

I'm joining the army
and beating some British butt.

James wished to
join the Continental Army,

which was rare,
because while the British

actively recruited slaves
to fight...

Hear ye, hear ye!

All who fight for the crown
shall be free!

The patriots didn't
even allow it at first,

and when they finally did,

they made no promises
of freedom.

Hear ye, hear ye!
All who fight for liberty

shall still be slaves!
Sucks for you.

Due to this, there were
up to 20 times more slaves

fighting for the British
than on the Patriot side.

Huh... well, sucks for us.

But despite this,
James joined the Patriots

to serve under
Marquis de Lafayette.

Take that,
General Cornwallace!

I throw darts
in your face!

You filthy
British stinkfoot!

Uh, sir?

I want to help the cause.

Sacre bleu.

A slave
fighting for us?

I can read and write, too.

You are what we call
in France, "le unicorn."

You could spy
on the British

and no one
would suspect a thing.

Here, take this coat
to save the ruse.

Thank you, sir.

Take that, Lafayette,
you pillock.

I have assaulted
your face with darts.

British General, sir?

I am loyal to the crown
and wish to fight for the king.

Notice my red coat.

Egads!

A runaway slave
loyal to the crown.

You are what we call
in Britain,

a regular occurrence.
You'll fit right in.

Now, it's time to look
at my battle plans.

Psst!
General!

You sure you want to leave those
battle plans out around him?

Him?
He's a slave!

It's not like he can
read and write!

So, I read and wrote down
their entire battle plan.

Cornwallace
is in Yorktown?

This will win us the war!

With this information,
General Washington was able

to ambush Cornwallace's army
at Yorktown,

forcing him to surrender.

Someone must have told them
my battle plan!

But who could it be?

James, any ideas?

Uh...

Oh, well, I'm stumped.

Time to go surrender.

This became the
last major battle

in the Revolutionary War,
paving the way

for the founding of America.

James, your intelligence
helped us win the war.

You are what we call
in France, "le hero."

But, despite his
massive contributions

to the war effort,
James returned home

still a slave.

This new country feels
a lot like the old country.

Virginia is awesome!

James petitioned the government

for his freedom for years
to no avail.

But that changed
when a national hero

spoke up on his behalf.

Marquis de Lafayette.

You're free, James.

What would you like
your new last name to be?

Call me Lafayette.
James Lafayette.

James Lafayette lived out
the rest of his life a free man

in the country he helped
to free from British rule.

And that's why he's an
unsung badass of history.

Okay, I must begrudgingly
admit, that was decent narrator work.

But I know a story
about a patriot

that I'm gonna narrate
the heck out of,

and it's about a man
named Paul Revere.

No, wait!

That Paul Revere story
is all wrong.

What's that?
I can't hear you.

Wait!

Now the blond man has gone,

allow me to regale you
with a story

of the midnight ride
of Paul Revere.

It was April 18th, 1775.

Paul was set to warn
the militiamen

of Lexington and Concord
of an impending British attack.

But first, he needed to know,

will they come by land
or by sea?

That's the signal!

One if by land,
two if by sea!

Away to Lexington and Concord!
Hyah!

The British are coming!
The British are coming!

Revere rode through the night,

rallying militia
with his cries.

Dozens of patriot lives
were saved,

and it was all thanks
to one man, Paul Revere.

What a stirring tale!

Stirringly inaccurate.

Ugh! Okay!
Where are you this time?

Are you the horse again?

Nuh-uh, up here!

First of all, Revere never said
"The British are coming."

At this point, many people
in the colonies were British,

so that would have been
really confusing.

The British are coming!
The British are coming!

I'm British
and so are you.

Are you saying we're coming
or you're coming?

Stop yelling in the third
person and go to sleep.

They actually called
the British army "The Regulars."

Oh, I meant to say,
the Regulars are coming!

Regulars?

Why didn't you say so?
Bang bang!

Second, Revere didn't
ride around the streets yelling.

That would have
gotten him captured.

This was more of a well-planned
intelligence mission.

The Regulars are com...

Oh, sorry.
The Regulars are coming.

Thank you.
No need to yell.

But most importantly,

Paul Revere never even
completed his midnight ride.

What?

Remember those famous signal
lanterns from the beginning?

Revere didn't even see them.

They were actually for
a different Son of Liberty

named Dr. Joseph Warren,
and for the historic ride,

he decided to send...

William Dawes!

Huh?

Who on earth is William Dawes?

He was another Son of Liberty

and the first man to be sent
on the midnight ride.

Revere didn't set out
until later,

and they wound up
warning the militia

of Lexington together.

The regulars are coming,
the regulars are coming!

Then, after leaving Lexington,

they were both detained
by British soldiers.

And surrounding jail.

Another rider
named Samuel Prescott

ended up warning Concord.

In fact, by then,
lots of other riders

had already been dispatched
to warn the local militias.

But... but if all those
riders were warning the towns,

that would mean
Revere's midnight ride

wasn't special at all.

Exactly.

In fact, in the years
that followed,

most people forgot about
Revere's midnight ride entirely.

It wasn't even mentioned
in his obituary.

Okay, smart guy.
If that's true,

then where did my story
come from, hmm?

Simple.
It came from a poem

written almost a century
after the fact.

In 1860, Harvard professor

and poet
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

wanted to unify
a divided nation.

The Civil War is upon us.

There's only one thing
that can save the nation now.

Me writing a poem!

He dug up the obscure
and little-known story

of the midnight ride
and penned a poem

that exaggerated the details
to make it more inspiring.

I'll just add
a few accomplishments here,

remove a character or two,

change name for rhyming
purposes, and boom!

"Paul Revere's Ride"!

The poem caught on
like wildfire

and today, it's one
of the most beloved stories

of the American Revolution,

even though
it's not actually true.

So, I guess Paul
Revere wasn't important at all.

Aww...

Oh, no.
Revere was super important.

Yes!
Ha ha!

He printed the nation's
first currency,

manufactured
gunpowder for the army

and opened the country's first
copper rolling mill,

and those things
helped the cause

way more than his
one failed ride.

But that's not
common knowledge,

'cause no one wrote
a poem about them.

Aww...

I feel like everything I knew

about the Revolution
is completely wrong.

And it doesn't end there.

Like, did you know
Betsy Ross

didn't sew the first
American flag?

Her name
wasn't even Betsy Ross!

Enough!

I don't want to hear anymore.

I liked knowing what I knew
when I thought I knew it,

but apparently,
every story we tell

about the Revolution
is useless.

No, they're not useless,
they're just not history.

And I'll tell you what
I mean by that...

I just need a minute

Gather around Children.
As I'll tell tou the story

of George Washington,
a wealthy elitist and murderer

who led a group of drunks
into battle against their will

to fight for a cause
they couldn't care less about.

Also, Paul Revere wasn't there,
because apparently, he sucks.

Oh, nuts.

Okay, you're exaggerating
a little bit.

No, I'm not.

I'm telling the real horrible
stories of America's founding,

because you took away
all my fun ones.

Actually, I was just trying
to help you see these stories

for what they truly are.

So many of the tales we tell
about our nation's founding

aren't really history.

They're modern myths
designed to inspire us.

And there's value in that.

But, by flattening out
the rough edges of history,

we also miss out
on even more interesting

and important truths.

Wow, I never
thought of it that way.

You may actually have
a point there, Adam.

And plus,
sometimes the real story

is even weirder
than the myth.

Did you know that
George Washington's teeth

weren't made of wood?

His actual dentures
were made

from the teeth
of other people.

And sometimes,
even donkey teeth.

Wow, that is crazy.

And Washington
never wore a wig.

He just powdered his hair,

which was naturally
a shade of reddish-brown.

My secret's out!
I must retreat!

Vanity, thy name is Washington.

And the cherry-tree-chopping
story was just a myth

made up by a biographer
to sell more books.

Okay, Adam,
you've made your point.

Oh, and Molly Pitcher?
Not a real person!

Okay, I think that's all
we have time for.

And Congress voted
for independence on July 2nd,

not July 4th!

Yes, yes,
you're a virtual ruin-pedia.

And the Pledge of Allegiance
was written

by a Baptist minister
to celebrate

- Christopher Columbus, and...
- Wow, fascinating.

Okay, we're ending now.

No, wait! There's more!

Hi, I'm Amoly

and this is
"Same Time, Different Place."

When people talk
about overcoming tyranny

and oppression in the 1700s,
the American Revolution

is the first event
that comes to mind.

But if you really want to
celebrate a people

throwing off
the yoke of oppression,

you should know the story
of the Haitian revolution

and Toussaint Louverture.

In 1791,
Haiti was a French colony

known as Saint-Domingue.

By brutally extracting
the labor of enslaved people

to produce and export sugar,

Haiti became France's
most profitable colony.

This colony makes
so much money!

Vive la France!
Vive slavery!

Many of these men and women
were kidnapped from their homes

and forced to work on an island
halfway around the world,

all for the sake
of their French masters.

The situation seemed
impossible to overcome,

until the French Revolution
provided a spark.

Toussaint, did you hear?
The French are revolting!

Tell me about it.
They stink!

No!

The people are overthrowing
the powers that be.

If they can do it,
so can we!

- Oi. I have a plan.
- First...

And so, on August 21st,
1791, the enslaved began to revolt.

Slavery!

Slavery!

Slavery! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Yeah, I deserved that.

I am Toussaint Louverture.

I have undertaken vengeance.

I want liberty and equality
to reign in Saint-Domingue!

Unite yourselves,
brothers, and fight!

Under the
leadership of Toussaint,

the enslaved people, with no
training, no weapons,

many still in chains, stormed
the homes of their masters.

Follow me, brothers!

The declaration of the rights
of man said it!

Men are born
and remain free!

He drove out the French,
he drove out the English,

he drove out the Spanish.

Ha ha!

I beat England!

I beat France!

I pulled down
Spain's underpants!

He abolished slavery

and declared himself
governor general

over the entire island
of Hispa�ola.

Slavery is dead!

Toussaint's rule
would last until 1803

when Napoleon,
now ruler of France,

sent troops to recapture
Saint-Domingue.

Toussaint was captured
and taken to France,

where he died in prison.

Do not waver,
my brothers.

Fight on and avenge me!

But his followers
did not give up,

and one man, Jean-Jacques
Dessalines, took the lead.

Do not give up, brothers.

Vive liberty!

The formerly enslaved people

managed to drive out
the army of Napoleon,

the greatest conqueror
of the era.

And on January 1st,
they declared Saint-Domingue

an independent nation.

Now that, my friends,
is a story worth telling.

A group of enslaved people with
limited means and no rights

defeated three national
superpowers, including Napoleon,

and freed themselves to create

the first black Republic
in the world.

Haiti.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0