All language subtitles for Adam Ruins Everything s02e09 Adam Ruins His Vacation.eng

Previously on "Adam Ruins
Everything"...

I still have a lot to learn.

I think it's time I go see

who else is out there I can learn from.

- (DOORBELL)
- Hello, my Internet girlfriend!

Can I live with you?

How did we meet? It was so cute.

We were both editing the same
Wikipedia page.

We got into this fight
over what source to use

for one of the citations.

So we started e-mailing.

And then we realized we both had

a significant other die
on the very first date.

So one thing led to another...

And a month ago, I showed up
here in South Dakota unannounced

and have been staying
with her ever since.

Yeah, I know, you've told me
this story three times already.

And it never gets old.

Well, you are a lucky man, Adam.

Melinda's the best fountain designer

at our fountain design firm.

And she makes a mean brunch.

To new love.

Mmm. Champagne's lovely.

Must have been expensive.

Oh.

- Should I say?
- What?

Well, pricy wines don't taste
any better than cheap ones.

Even wine snobs can't
tell the difference.

Boom, you're ruined!

God, babe, you are so cute
when you ruin stuff.

Melinda says I'm an L.A. six
but a South Dakota 12.

Hey, look at the time.

Gosh, that went so well.

Even my boss loves you.

- I'm so amped.
- I know.

I used to be lonely and unhappy,

but meeting you fixed me
and it's gonna last forever.

Well, what else should we do
to celebrate our love?

Dinner with your parents?

Oh, we can't, they're dead. Oh, right.

What about a romantic vacation?

I love it!

We can go to my favorite place
in all of South Dakota,

Mount Rushmore.

Ooh, and then I can ruin it for you!

- Oh, wait, what?
- This is gonna be great.

Hi, I'm Adam Conover.

And I'm his girlfriend, Melinda Patel.

And this is "Adam Ruins Everything"!

?

Corrected & Synced by Bakugan

Oh, I love Mount Rushmore.

The history, the grandeur.

The outdoor freeze-resistant
pedestal fountains.

It's America's greatest
national monument.

I have to disagree.

Mouth Rushmore is America's
weirdest national monument,

not the greatest.

First, it's actually
surprisingly small.

The heads are only 60 feet tall,

or about one-tenth the size of
the Washington Monument.

And it was also never finished.

The rubble at the base is just debris

from the construction
no one cleaned up.

But most importantly,

the history of Mount Rushmore
is real weird.

Oh, yeah.

I did always wonder why
we carved president heads

into the side of a mountain.

What's up with that?

Well, this national monument

was actually designed to be
a national tourist trap.

In the 1920s, a group of
South Dakota historians

was trying to figure out

how to attract tourists to their state.

Hmm...

How do we get people to come
see our big, boring rocks?

(GASPS)

We'll carve wild west
legends into them!

Cowboy rocks...

Cowboy rocks...

(ALL) Cowboy rocks!

Cowboy rocks!

Cowboy rocks!

Bit of a leap.

Unfortunately for them,
the sculptor they hired,

- a man named Gutzon Borglum...
- Eww, bad name.

Well, he had his own ideas.

Screw this wild west crap.
I shall fill your mountain...

with presidents!

A noble project that will
immortalize me, Gutzon Borglum.

Okay.

But then he carved all our
greatest presidents.

Washington was the first,

Jefferson wrote the Declaration
of Independence,

Lincoln ended slavery and Roosevelt...

he... liked hunting?

(ANDY) And he was friends
with the sculptor.

Teddy, you are the coolest.

I'm gonna sculpt your face
into a mountain.

Wow.

- You're, like, obsessed with me.
- (FIRES RIFLE)

That's the reason he was
on the monument?

And people were cool with that?

They pretty much had to be.

Borglum was incredibly stubborn
about doing things his way.

In fact, his original plan
for the monument

was a little bit too ambitious.

I'll sculpt the heads,
then their entire torsos,

and inside the heads,
I'll build a hall of records,

and that's where we'll store
the Constitution

and the Declaration of Independence!

He wanted to put the Constitution

in a mountain in South Dakota?

I mean, I love South Dakota,
and even I think that's insane.

Yep. Borglum became so obsessed

that Congress even threatened
to cut his funding.

I'm not paying for your
passion project.

Stick to the sculpture
or you're cut off, Borglum!

But he had only finished the
heads when, in 1941, he died.

Uhh! Oh, come on!

Since the sculptor was dead and
the project was out of money,

his workers decided to call it quits.

Well, we did the heads
and Borglum's dead.

Time for us to go to bed.

Okay, so the sculptor was a maniac

whose name sounds like some
Swedish muppet's death rattle,

and the monument was never finished.

That's not so bad.

And it was built on stolen
Native American land.

Yeah, that's worse.

(ANDY) In 1868, the United States
signed a treaty agreeing that

this land would remain part of
the Sioux Nation.

We've taken a lot from y'all,

so you keep this land
and we'll stay out.

(ANDY) But six years
later, that all changed

when General Custer found gold.

You found what?

It's worth how much?

Sorry!

Should have said "no take-backsies."

It was a real Custer fluck.

In 1980, the Supreme Court ruled
this land grab unconstitutional,

and ordered federal compensation
now worth over $1 billion.

The problem is,
the Sioux don't want the money.

So to this day, it's sitting
on hold in the U.S. Treasury.

Wait.

Why don't you take the money?

It was never about the money.

We just want our land back.

Think about it.

Our government broke a treaty,
stole Native American land

and then carved our
own leaders' faces into it.

That's such an insult.

And for what?

So tourists can come see a big version

of the heads on our money?

I never thought I'd say this,
but North Dakota was right.

Mount Rushmore does suck.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to ruin your
favorite place.

I just thought you'd want
to know the real history.

No, it's fine.

How about this?

Why don't we do something you like,

so there's nothing to ruin?

Well, I love games.

Ooh, and there's
a gas station in Aberdeen

that has a Ms. Pac Man machine.

I think we can do better.

Why don't we go to Vegas?

We can point out all the engineering
flaws in the Bellagio fountain,

- then hit the slots.
- That sounds great.

Except slot machines
aren't games at all.

They're deliberately engineered
addiction machines!

Babe, remember, we're on vacation.

You don't have to find something
to ruin everywhere...

ver mind, I see that you do.

(SNAPS FINGERS)

Here we are, Sin City.

So glamorous.

Hey, they even have slot
machines right in the lobby.

Wait a minute. Adam, is that you?

Yeah, once you have a TV show,

you kinda lose control over
what they put your face on.

Well, I'm gonna go score us
tickets to Carrot Top.

We have the same hair guy.

Don't play these.

You know, they suck you right in.

But why shouldn't I play it?
It's just a slot machine.

(ANDY) Actually, today's slot
machines don't just steal your money,

they're deliberately
engineered addiction.

Interesting marketing strategy.

Definitely gonna play this one now.

Oh, I get it, I got sucked in.

Whatever, I'm not gonna get addicted.

(ANDY) In the old days,
you wouldn't have.

Early slot machines were so simple,

they were barely thought of
as gambling.

Aw, shucks, Cal, we lost again.

No matter.

Let's cap off this harmless fun
with a harmless cocaine cola.

But as slot machines became
computerized in the '80s,

casinos realized that frequent
slot players could be even more

profitable than the high rollers
who play table games,

so they began to look for ways

to make slot machines harder to
win and more enticing to play.

All right, Mr. Computer.

Let's get these chumps hooked.

(ANDY) In the old
mechanical slot machines,

the reels were controlled by gears,

and the odds of landing on
any given stop

were equal with each spin.

But these new slots are capable

of hundreds of different virtual stops.

That means casinos can program
different odds for each symbol,

and it takes a lot more plays to win.

And they're also programmed to
land on more near-misses.

A near-miss makes it look like
you almost hit the jackpot

which psychologically tricks you
into feeling like

you can improve your luck
the more you play.

Next time will be different.

(ANDY) Yes, it will.

Because now, things are even worse.

Today, most machines are video slots.

Bigger, flashier and even
more addictive.

So many chances to win.

(ANDY) Modern slot machines are
designed to be so confusing

that it's really hard to tell
when you're actually losing.

Whoo! I'm a winner!

Actually, you're not.

You bet a dollar,
but you only won 50 cents.

This is called a false win.

The lights still flash
and the buzzer sound,

so even though you lost money,

you still feel like you're
winning and keep on spinning.

Whatever. I can stop if I want.

You can try, but you'll be
fighting your own brain.

With each false win, you get
a tiny hit of dopamine,

the chemical that activates
your brain's reward centers.

(DING)

Whoa, Mama!

The old noggin noodle's loving this.

I am in the zone.

The zone is what gamblers call it

when they're completely
absorbed in the flow of a game,

and using player loyalty cards,

casinos track your every move
to keep you there.

Ooh, shiny!

(ANDY) The data on your player
loyalty card tells the casino

which games you like,
how much money you bet,

even what snacks you order.

Most importantly, they also know

when you tend to get frustrated
and walk away.

Huh. I haven't won in a while.

Maybe I should stop.

Oh, she's coming out of it.

Send in the luck ambassador, now!

Complimentary fried cheese?

Guess I could stay
a little while longer.

Back in the zone, baby!

Some machines are so sophisticated,

they don't even need to
interrupt your game.

When you reach your frustration point,

they just put a play credit
right on your screen.

The goal of all this tracking
is to keep you hooked

and in the zone as long as possible.

Away, slot machine boyfriend.

I'm no gambling addict.

I can stop any time.

I'm sorry, Melinda,

but the design of these games
is so addictive,

they're not just preying on
problem gamblers,

they're creating them.

This is Natasha Dow Schull,

associate professor at NYU

and the author of
"Addiction by Design."

Casinos would love you to believe

that some of us are born addicts

and the rest of us will
never develop a problem.

But according to a 2002 study,

people who regularly play slot machines

become addicted three
to four times faster

than people who play other games,

even if they've never had
a problem before.

I've met people whose lives
were destroyed

by their addiction to slots.

They've gotten divorced,
they've gone bankrupt,

they've gone to jail, they've
even committed suicide.

That's terrible.

But the casino wants us
to gamble responsibly.

That's just them trying
to shift the blame onto you.

That little sticker does nothing

compared to this hardcore
addiction machine,

and the casino has
no incentive to do anything

that could actually
protect its customers

because slot machines are
such a huge moneymaker.

Upwards of 85% of a casino's
profits come from slots,

and multiple studies have shown
that problem gamblers

generate 30% to 60% of total
gambling revenues.

Casinos are making addictive products

and profiting off of
the addicts they create.

Slot machines are deliberately
engineered addiction.

Deliberately engineered addiction.

Deliberately engineered addiction.

Will somebody shut this thing up?

Okay, my sweet, two tickets to...

No, no, no, Adam,
we gotta get out of here.

I can't believe it but you...

This machine ruined Vegas for me.

Can't we just go to a beach somewhere

where we can get fun tropical drinks

with little umbrellas in them
and just relax?

No more ruining?

Like, what if we just went to Hawaii?

That sounds perfect.

Just don't ask how Hawaii
became part of the U.S.,

because that story is real messed up.

No, see, that's what
I'm talking about...

?

Look, Melinda, I got laid!

I've always wanted to do and say that.

Oh, now, this is relaxing.

Let's just sit back, sip our drinks

and enjoy all this
traditional Hawaiian culture.

Yeah. Every year, over 8 million
tourists come to Hawaii

thinking they're getting a
traditional Hawaiian experience,

but the truth is, most of this
isn't traditional at all.

Adam, that sounded like
the beginning of a ruin.

You promised! Just relax.

Of course, of course.

But real quick...

Tiki bars were invented by
a California restaurant owner

and hula dancers only started
wearing grass skirts

on the U.S. vaudeville circuit.

And let me guess.

Hawaii was taken from the natives

by General Custer
and a sleazy casino owner.

Did I get it? Ruin over.

Nope.

The real story of Hawaii is way
weirder and darker than that,

and the real irony is,
almost no one knows about it.

Come on, I'll show you! (SNAPS FINGERS)

(ANDY) Long before it became a state,

Hawaii was a full-fledged
sovereign nation.

They had a queen.

No splashing, everyone! No splashing.

(ANDY) A democratically elected
house of representatives.

All those in favor of Marco, say Polo.

(ALL) Polo!

(ANDY) And ambassadors
all over the world.

So then I said aloha, and aloha!

- (LAUGHING)
- Classic Hawaii!

I love your country.

Wow, I had no idea.

So what happened?

We just straight up invaded
them, didn't we?

What? No, come on.
This is a sovereign country.

We wouldn't just take it.

Not yet, you wouldn't.

The strange story of Hawaiian statehood

begins with a group of
white Hawaiian businessmen.

What's up?

Wait, they're white and Hawaiian?

Yeah, we're the descendents of
Christian missionaries.

And us white guys could do a way
better job running this place.

Cheers, brahs.

They called themselves
the Hawaiian League,

and they were basically a secret
club for powerful racists.

So powerful that in 1893,
they threatened a violent coup

and forced the queen
to give up her throne.

Out of the pool, Queen!

I have no choice.

- Hawaii is yours.
- (MEN) Whoo!

What? How?

Did they have an army?

Nope, but a corrupt U.S.
ambassador did.

Hey, U.S. ambassador.

I was thinking maybe
you could back me up

with some marines 'til this
little coup is over.

That's against the law.

But what the heck?

I mean, you're letting us keep
the navy at Pearl Harbor.

The Hawaiian League also realized

it would be better for trade
if they became part

of the United States,

so they appealed for annexation.

Me and the ambassador
have been thinking,

if you annex Hawaii,
I'll make a lot of scratch.

You'll basically have military control

over the entire Pacific, bro.

It would be rad.

Hey! That's against the rules!

You can't sign that treaty with them.

They stole my country.

I have a petition from 95%
of native Hawaiians

saying we do not want to be
part of the United States.

Ambassador!

Did you help to overthrow
a foreign government?

You put me in a real bind here.

Old Uncle Sam doesn't know what to do.

Conflicted, America didn't
make up its mind for years

until the start of
the Spanish-American War.

- Hola.
- Spain?

Get outta here!

Okay, that's it. This is America now.

Get 'em, boys!

Ay! Ay!

No, no! No! Get off of me!

So Congress declared
they were annexing Hawaii,

and they were officially
declared a U.S. territory.

We still live here.

My people aren't just going
away, you know?

- Oh, whatever!
- Come on.

This is insane.
America just took Hawaii?

Yes, that's actually how it happened.

And it was illegal.

This is Williamson Chang.

He's a law professor at
the University of Hawaii.

According to international law in 1898,

the only way to annex another
country is by war or treaty,

but the United States
never invaded Hawaii

and treaty attempts died in Congress.

Instead, they passed
a joint resolution,

which is only supposed
to apply to domestic affairs,

not acquiring a foreign
sovereign nation.

That means that
the annexation of Hawaii

was illegal under our own laws.

And the saddest part is that for years,

many Hawaiians didn't
know this history existed.

The real story wasn't
taught in the schools.

They were told that
the treaty was legal

and many native Hawaiians believed it.

That's terrible.

So today, our community is divided.

There are those who would like
to see the kingdom restored.

Others think it's in
Hawaii's best interest

to remain part of the United States.

Regardless, an apology for
the annexation of 1898

would be a huge step forward.

But until then,

why don't we start with
a complimentary Mai Tai?

(MOANS)

Americans travel to Hawaii
every year on vacation,

but when we do,
almost none of us realize

that this was once a respected
sovereign nation

and we just kinda took it.

This is awful.

Oh, I know. America's history
of foreign policy is...

No, I mean, this is awful.

We were supposed to be having a
fun, relaxing vacation together,

but everywhere we went,
you just ruined things.

This was a terrible
first trip together.

Here.

Go get laid by yourself.

Wow.

You are history's greatest monster.

?

Hello, we are here behind the
scenes at "Adam Ruins Everything."

I'm here with professor
Williamson Chang

because I have way more questions for
him about the history of Hawaii.

So I'm very curious about
the culture of Hawaii.

What was it like before,
you know, it became

part of the United States
and how did the culture change?

Well, Hawaii was a kingdom.

1887, lolani Palace had lights
before the White House.

- Really? Electric lights?
- Electric lights.

The native Hawaiian people
were declared

the most literate people on earth.

They came from a culture which
was completely sustainable

before the first Westerner came.

Hawaii had 800,000 people
on these islands

who lived off the land
and on the water.

Today, we only have,

let's say five days worth
of food on the island.

If that's gone, we're in great trouble.

So before the 800,000 people...

- They were absolutely sustainable.
- Wow.

They didn't have money,

there was no need for private property.

Everyone had a place in society.

It was very, very harmonious.

Well, we'll be right back with
more "Adam Ruins Everything"

and more Williamson Chang
right after this.

?

Hello, we're back behind the scenes
here on "Adam Ruins Everything"

with Professor Williamson Chang,
'cause we got

a couple more questions about
the history of Hawaii.

How did things change after...
after annexation?

Well, the majority of people,

the plurality of voters
were native Hawaiian.

Then after the overthrow,
Hawaiians couldn't vote.

They weren't allowed to vote.

Native Hawaiians were
not allowed to vote

in the state or federal governments?

They didn't have power.

Because, like in the south
of the United States,

there were barriers to voting,

like you had to own
$600 worth of property

and have an income of so and so,

and Hawaiians couldn't qualify.

You had to be loyal and Hawaiians

weren't gonna side with those
who overthrew the queen.

Hawaiians were so unhappy,
so depressed,

they began to lose
their sense of place.

By the time they were
allowed to vote in 1959,

they had become a small minority.

So the question of
what we do with this information

is such a difficult one,
because this was...

happened over a hundred years ago.

You're absolutely right.

The history of Hawaii has
been kept from Hawaiians,

there's been deliberate deception,

but it's been over 100 years,
what do you do?

Even though with
the original, you know,

annexation was illegal,

it's sort of the political
reality today, so...

That's a very good point.

So it's difficult
to know how we would...

I mean, how would you like to
see the issue addressed?

This is a question that
requires deep thought.

There are many Hawaiians who say,

"Oh, we want the kingdom back."

Some people are saying, "Well, why do

you want to go back to a monarchy?"

The question is, after 100 years
of being told you don't...

you're not a country, you're
not a people, no one's ready.

But it seems like the most
important thing

is to have an open
conversation about this.

The worst part is that
the government and the people

writing the textbooks
aren't open about it

and aren't honest about what happened.

Well, it's like
the South African experience,

so much wrong for so long.

Nelson Mandela said, let's have
a process called truth

and then reconciliation.

So what we're doing today
is great because it's...

the first step is the truth.

Well, thank you so much for coming
on the show, Professor Chang.

And now, back to
"Adam Ruins Everything."

Melinda, are you mad?

No, I'm just sketching a new fountain.

It shoots a column of water
100 feet into the air,

which then lands directly on
your dumb, adorable face,

because, yes, I'm mad.

Yeah.

That's what I thought.

I just don't get why you
couldn't just relax

and spend time with me.

Ruining is just what I do.

It's how I connect with people.

I thought you liked it.

But when you're constantly
correcting me

and fingersnapping your
learning ghosts everywhere,

and telling me everything I like
has a terrible history,

it makes me feel like I'm not
good enough for you or something.

I didn't know you felt that way.

Probably wish I would die,

just like all your other boyfriends.

No, God no. I just...

I think you need to learn
how to turn it off

every once in a while,

not just for me, but because
it's good for you.

What do you mean?

Look, as a nation, Americans
are really bad at relaxing.

In 2015, we let 658 million
vacation days go unused.

And even when we did go on vacation,

30% of us brought work to do.

But studies show that going on
vacation actually makes people

more productive when they
go back to work,

so it's really
important to take time off.

And look, I really do love it
when you ruin things.

That's what makes you Adam.

But I just think if you could

take a break every once in a while,

well, that's how you'll be
the best Adam you can be.

Oh...

You taught me something.

Okay, I'll do it.

For the rest of the trip,
no more ruining.

I am gonna relax.

Bartender, one virgin Mai Tai, please.

I'm proud of you, babe.

Of course, it does have
a lot of sugar in it,

and sugar is the primary cause of...

Wait. Of course.

Almost ruined the moment.

Yeah. Almost.

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