All language subtitles for Adam Ruins Everything s02e07 College.eng

("POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE" PLAYING)

Cole, this campus, it's beautiful!

Yeah, grass, bricks, nerds,
tight, tight, tight, let's go.

You need to take this seriously.

How do you expect to make a living

without a college degree?

Come on, Ma, you know I'm full
of "Shark Tank" caliber ideas.

A pipe that lights itself.

Google Glasses, but they're sunglasses.

A period tracking app but for men.

Honey, I have always said

you will make an
incredible entrepreneur.

I prefer chillventor.

But first you need a degree.

Now, wait here while I get a map.

Fam, none of the greatest
minds got a degree.

Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg.

Lil Yachty, they all dropped out.

Don't need to go to college.

So, on your right, you'll see a dorm,

unfortunately named after
a former slaveholder.

And on your left, you'll see someone

who is totally wrong about college.

Hi, Cole.

I'm here to set you straight.

What, are you recruiting
for an acapella group?

Oh, no, I wish I was that cool.

I'm Adam Conover, and this
is "Adam Ruins Everything."

?

Corrected & Synced by Bakugan

You're the nerd from the YouTube ads

they play before fail compilations.

Are you gonna ruin college?
That's sick!

I bet you're gonna break down
why college is a waste of time.

And everyone should
drop out and and get rich.

My dude!

I hate to turn down a bro hug, Cole,

but I'm gonna disappoint you.

In the 21st century, if you
wanna earn a decent living,

you pretty much have to go to college.

What? You sound like a parent.

I thought you were cool!

Oh, no, I am definitely not that.

And it's the truth.

The truth isn't always cool.

Whatever.

I'm gonna be like Bill Gates.

He dropped out of college
and made bazillions.

Ah, yes, the famous Bill Gates myth.

Everyone uses him as an example

of why no one needs to go to college,

as though Bill were just some
everyman who had one great idea.

Wow, look at all these windows.

I've got an idea.

Microsoft Word.

? Money, money... ? (LAUGHING)

Right, that's exactly what I
wanna do with my Micro Cooler.

It's a microwave that cools things.

Okay, you know that's
called a freezer, right?

And secondly,
the only reason Bill Gates

was able to succeed
without a college degree

is that he was a freakishly
hard-working genius

who had advantages
almost no one else does.

Before Gates even went to college,

his parents enrolled him in an
expensive private high school

that just happened to have
a state-of-the-art computer

no other kid would have access to.

Whoa, he's, like "Whiplash"

except his "Whiplash" is computers.

Before he dropped out,
Gates already had

thousands of hours
of programming experience

and was already an expert.

Welcome to Programming 101.

For our first assignment...

Did it already, plus the next ten.

Do I pass?

And before he left Harvard,
Gates and his partner

had already founded Microsoft

and made the first software
that ran on personal computers.

So, for him, dropping out wasn't
that really much of a risk.

And I never even
officially dropped out.

If I failed,
I could've always gone back

to my Ivy League education
on my parent's dime.

The fact is Bill Gates's
dropout story just isn't one

that most people can emulate.

Because almost no one
is that accomplished,

gifted and just plain lucky.

Are you?

Well... in my case, I did get
a bunch of kids in my school

to start saying the word "select."

You know, like,
"Those shoes are select!"

Or, "That party had me feeling select!"

So, in that way,
I'm kind of like Bill Gates.

Whatever, dude.
What about all the other

awesome dropouts, like, Mark Zuckerberg

or Carmelo Anthony and...

Or Jeffrey Dahmer?

I dropped out of college
and I'm doing okay.

I eat well every night.

Oh, darn.

When you focus only on the
famous success stories,

but ignore the lesser known failures,

you're committing a logical
error known as survivor bias.

For every tech billionaire
dropout the media obsesses over,

there are countless
less fortunate folks

whose stories you never hear.

But if you did, they might
sound something like this.

Yeah, dude, I thought I was
gonna be Zuckerberg, too.

I was wrong.

College dropouts are 71%
more likely to be unemployed.

No... You guys are just lazy.

I'm driven, I know I'd get a job.

Yeah, maybe, but you're
not gonna get rich.

College grads make more
than high school grads

at every point of their careers.

What?

Why are you guys even recruiting?

Something to do, I guess.

Those numbers are crazy.

But my dad doesn't have a degree.

He did fine. So what changed?

Our economy.

Over the past few decades,
getting a middle class job

without a college degree
has become way more difficult.

Since 1985, on average,
the US has lost over

300,000 manufacturing jobs per year.

Whoa, I think that's more than, like,

Steve Aoki's Instagram followers.

And at the same time, we've
gained jobs in skilled fields.

In the last 20 years, software
jobs have gone up by over 500%.

And in the past decade,

Internet jobs have increased by 600%.

And those jobs require
a college education.

In the six years
since the great recession,

less than one percent of jobs
created have gone to those

with a high school diploma or less.

Whoa, that's it? Yeah.

That's why even Bill Gates himself

says more Americans
need to go to college.

Really? Bill Gates said that?

Yup, the truth is a college education

is a virtual necessity to
compete in today's economy.

That's why it's such a shame

that so many people can't afford one.

Oh, I never thought I'd say
this but my mom was right!

If I ever wanna be rich,
I need to go to college.

What else was she right about?

Maybe Celine Dion is good!

Is that a kind of mustard?

But if I'm going to college,
it's gotta be the best college.

Hey, you! Is this place select or not?!

I know, I'll get one of those
magazines that ranks colleges.

That's tell me which
is icy and which is dicey.

(LAUGHING)

Uh, those rankings
are pretty arbitrary.

Let me tell you about it!

(COLE'S MOM) Cole?!

Cole?!

Where'd you go?

Cole!

?

Oh, perfect, "US News
and World Report."

They rank every school
in the things that matter most.

Smartness, how many books they got.

Which school's colors match
my dopest Flyknits.

(ADAM) No, they don't.

"US News and World Report's"
ranking may be popular.

But they've rewarded
schools that lie, cheat

and manipulate the system.

Oh! Ahh!

But I thought it was created
by scientists or whatever.

Nope, in fact when "US News"
created these rankings in 1983,

they were basically
a popularity contest.

They would just ask college presidents

what they thought
of each other's schools.

Get this, Harvard told me
that Yale told them that they

heard Princeton say Brown's
MBA program is super basic.

Oh, I love gossip.

But this opened them up to criticism.

You're being so rude.

Princeton doesn't even know me.

They're haters, and you're a hater!

Unfriend.

No, don't unfriend me.

I can change!

And change they did.

Starting in 1988, "US News"
reworked their ranking system

into a complicated formula.

(COLE) Numbers, percentage signs.

Looks like some legit science.

Uh, it's not.

We weight these categories
however we want.

It's subjective. Check it out.

This year, alumni giving is gonna be...

69 percent.

(CHUCKLES)

Uh, that's too silly even for me.

So, this pseudo scientific system

became incredibly powerful.

Now when a school
slips in the rankings,

it can affect the number of
applications they receive,

their research funding, even the
all-important alumni donations.

We dropped two places?!

I'm taking my check and my name back.

Enjoy your lame bookstore, failures!

Because of this, schools
are under intense pressure

to keep their ranking up.

And that's good, right?

It's a free market.

It forces schools to be better.

Nope, it forces them to seem better.

And for some schools,
that even means they'll lie.

?

At Claremont McKenna, a senior officer

lied about our SAT
scores for six years.

At Clemson, we gave other
schools low ratings

to make ourselves look better.

At lona College, we lied about multiple

categories on the
survey for nine years.

(LAUGHING)

And it worked.

If they hadn't lied,
Iona would've been 20 spots

lower in the rankings.

Lame.

Well, "US News" should
stop those liars.

They try.

But a bigger problem than schools

lying about the rankings
is schools gaming them.

Ooh, gaming, like Overwatch?

Oh, I love Overwatch.

I'm a Hanzo main. Ugh.

And no, I'm talking about
schools that game the system.

Northeastern sent out 200,000
personalized letters

encouraging students to apply

even though they only
had room for 2800.

Northeastern wants you!

Not you, not you, not you.

This allowed them to pick
and choose the students

that best fit US News's formula.

You'll improve our rankings real nice.

That seems kind of shady.

And it gets worse.

To attract the right type of
students, schools spend massive

amounts of money building luxury
dorms with fancy amenities

that have nothing to do
with education at all.

We simply must get our ranking up.

Why don't we improve
our graduation rate?

Nope! Let's build an IMAX
theater, a rock-climbing wall

and two, no three fraternity
hazing cabanas.

And we'll pay for them by...
raising tuition or something.

Now! Get building!

(DISTANT JACK HAMMERING)

Out of all the criteria "US News" uses

to rank the best colleges,

price isn't one of them.

And since 1963, the cost of
attending a private

four-year college has almost tripled.

(COINS JINGLING, CHEERING)

That's insanely high.

Like, whippets for the first time high.

Yeah, it is.

Today, the average cost for just
one year at a private college

is over $39,000.

That's about ten grand more
than most Americans

even make in a year.

One year's tuition.

That will cost you your car...

(CAR PASSING, HONKS)

- Your home...
- (DOORBELL CHIMES)

- Your kidneys.
- (KNIVES SLICING)

Guess I'll find some other
way to filter my blood.

Think about that.

Even though the cost
of college is skyrocketing,

we still pick schools based
on an arbitrary list

that has rewarded colleges
for wasting money

leaving students like you
to foot the bill.

Dude, what the vape!

First, you tell me that if I ever wanna
be rich, I have to go to college.

Then you tell me that I probably
can't even afford to go to college.

How will I make an app
that identifies cheeses?!

Oh!

I know.

Students loans, of course.

Who cares if tuition is high?

I take out a loan and bam,
I can afford any school I want.

No sweat.

Actually, student loans
are crippling the finances

of millions.

Hey, guys, kegger at the crew house.

- Let me tell you about it.
- I'm listening, kegger!

(MAN OVER PA) If there's a Cole Tyson
here, please come to the Quad.

Your mom iing for you
and thinks you're dead.

(WHISTLING)

(MUSIC PLAYING, LAUGHTER)

Finally, a party.

I was stressing so hard about
how to pay for college.

But now that I know
I could just take out

a bunch of student loans, I can chill.

Cole, wait.

The truth is student debt
is crippling the finances

of millions of people,
and there's no end in sight.

Chill, Dad, I'll be fine.

(CHATTER)

Oh-ho-ho, select!

'Sup, friendo?

Care for a loanski?

Hit me, loan tender.

See, Adam, student loans help people.

A lot of us wouldn't be able
to go to college without them.

(ADAM) Right, they're a necessity.

That's why it's even more disturbing

what they're doing to people.

Chill, Sheldon, everybody's doing it.

That's true.

42 million Americans
have student loan debt

totaling $1.3 trillion.

Trillion? That's a whole
lot of Pok�mon Go coins.

And student loan debt has become
the worst kind of debt.

Let me tell you a story.

Before 1972, students could
get federally backed loans

to pay for school.

But there weren't enough to go around.

Please, sir, may I have a loan?

All tapped out, sorry.

(ADAM) But then, Richard Nixon

created the Student Loan
Marketing Association.

Or as it's known today Sallie Mae.

Now, Sallie, your job
is to buy loans from the banks

so they can lend more.

But Uncle Sam is watching.

So, don't be a crook.

This system freed up financial
institutions to issue

more loans which meant more
students could go to college.

Please, just one.

Look, I told you, there's no more...

Whoa! Thanks, Sallie!

The party's on!

(CROWD WHOOPING)

(UNCLE SAM) Uh, loan responsibly, now.

Just loan responsibly.

Seems like a good system.

It was!

But the party foul began
when the government moved

to privatize Sallie Mae in the 1990s.

I'm tired of playing chaperone.

You're free, Sallie.

(GASPS)

Free market.

(ADAM) A compromise
between President Clinton

and congressional republicans
cut Sallie Mae loose.

Who wants loans, bitches?!

(ADAM) Now Sallie Mae was
in it for the profits.

And profits they received.

They made a fortune
off of government fees.

This chick is awesome.

I'm gonna get loaned up tonight.

Sallie Mae poured their
new-found wealth

into projects designed to
increase those profits.

Come on, dude, she's not that shady.

Oh, you'd be surprised.

Fearing competition, Sallie Mae
started marketing like crazy.

(CASH REGISTER OPENS)

(ADAM) They paid colleges to
drop direct government loans

and sign up for their program...

Hey! Ditch the clown
and this could all be yours.

(ADAM) ...and sponsored cruises
for financial aid officers.

Oh, you boys have to come on my boat.

Sallie Mae even placed undercover reps

in university call centers
where they tricked students

into thinking they were talking
to college loan officers.

You have got to meet this girl.

She is so cool.

And she didn't even pay me to say that.

Sallie Mae, really doing
everybody dirty like that.

I'm afraid so.

And soon, students were stuck

with the worst kind
of debt you can have.

Often, they're encouraged
to take out more loans

than they can even afford.

What's happening?

Don't worry about that right now.

These are the best
four years of your life!

Yeah, I'm 17, I know what I'm doing.

Hey, my payments are super low.

I'll finish these soon.

Sorry, you won't.

(COLE) No!

Many borrowers have monthly
payments that are so low,

they don't even cover the interest.

You could be in a situation
where you're paying hundreds

of dollars a month, but the
amount you owe is still growing.

Oh, God, I can't keep up with this.

One in four borrowers are
behind on their student loans.

And over eight million are in default.

What?

That's crazy!

(LOUD THUD)

And here's where it gets really scary.

Unlike other types of debt,

if you default on
a federal student loan,

the government can garnish
up to 15% of your wages,

tax refunds and social
security benefits.

Hell, yeah! Rent money, baby.

What the...

Sorry, Uncle chooses
where your money goes now.

(ADAM) And if your parents
co-signed your loan,

their income can be garnished too.

I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.

I just wanted to go here

because the school colors
matched my Flyknits.

Adam, this is too much.

Make it stop! I wanna
file for bankruptcy.

Oh!

Sorry, you can't.

Sallie Mae spent decades
lobbying congress

to roll back consumer protections.

And it all paid off in 2005

when Sallie Mae won their
crowning achievement.

Because now, unlike almost
all other forms of debt,

it is nearly impossible
to declare bankruptcy

for student loans.

It's insane.

You sign a piece of paper
when you're 18,

and you can get stuck for life.

(MOANING)

Oh, I can't get them off!

In 2010, the government finally cut
out middle men like Sallie Mae,

but it wasn't enough.

A generation of Americans
have had to financially

cripple themselves with debt
just to get the basic education

that will allow them
to survive in today's economy.

That's nauseating.

Yeah, it is.

But let me tell you about
a few things you can do to...

Oh, I really mean that's nauseating.

Oh, God! (RETCHING)

Oh, Adam isn't the barf boy.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, Adam isn't the barf boy.

(R)

Hey, Cole? You okay?

No, I'm not okay.

First you tell me
that if I ever wanna succeed,

I have to go to college.

Then you tell me if I go to college,

I could be trapped in debt until I die.

This whole system is effed up!

Yeah, I agree.

It is effed up that we built an economy

that requires a college
degree to participate,

then forces people to
take on massive loans

that bleed them dry just
to get that degree.

But there are a few things
you can do to reduce the burden.

Come on, let's get out of here.

This place smells like
cigarettes and feet.

Oh, hey, Adam.

I was just practicing "Wonderwall."

- You wanna hear?
- Maybe later.

Cole, this is Heather Jarvis.

She's a lawyer who specializes
in student loan law.

Hi, Cole.

First of all, I want you to know,

it's okay to be confused
about this stuff.

When I first went to school,

I borrowed $125,000

without fully understanding
what the consequences were.

Oh, dang.

And I had it easy.

I've had some clients who
have lost their opportunity

for debt forgiveness or seen
their monthly payments go up

just because of bad advice they
got from their loan provider.

Lame-ass loan provider.

I'm low-key mad now for real.

So, what do I do?

Shop around.

The most expansive school you get into

might not be the best one for you.

A degree from an in-state public
school is usually a better

investment than one from an
expensive private school.

And at a fraction of the cost.

And don't forget
about community colleges.

They have low tuition.

And you can usually transfer credits

to a bigger name school
after a couple of years.

Community colleges
are a great resource,

one our government
really should invest in.

But what if I still need that cash?

Well, avoid borrowing too much.

And avoid private student loans.

And one thing everybody needs
to do is fill out the FAFSA,

That's what let's you know
what scholarships and grants

you're eligible for.

And the great thing about grants

is that you don't
have to pay them back.

Whoa, tight.

Cole's getting paid.

And we all need to be advocates

to simplify and improve this system.

Students need bankruptcy
protection as much as anybody.

Word. Thanks, Heather.

No problem.

Now if you'll excuse me...

? Today ?

No.

? Today ?

No. Never mind.

(COLE'S MOM) Cole?! Cole?!

Mom! Mom, I'm over here.

Oh.

I'm okay.

Cole, I have been looking
everywhere for you.

Where have you been?

I got drunk with this old man
and he taught me a lot.

It's not as bad as it sounds.

(CHUCKLING)

He showed me you were right.

I need to go to college.

Wait... really?

Mm-hmm. You like it here.

I do, but I think I wanna give
community college a try.

Save some money.

If that's what you want,
that's what I want too.

Now let's get you home so you
miss debate with Spalding.

Thanks, Adam, you're a pretty
select dude, you know that?

Wow, it was all worth it for that.

?

You know, the invention of the Solo cup

is actually quite remarkable.

The Solo Company was relatively
forgettable until the 1970s

when Robert L. Hulseman
invented the sturdy,

yet disposable Solo cup.

Now, while the iconic color is red,

his favorite was actually blue.

Huh, guess I'm drinking alone tonight.

Whoo!

I did it!

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0