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1
00:00:57,487 --> 00:01:00,160
Hi, Sophia. What are you making?
2
00:01:00,247 --> 00:01:03,125
- Lasagne al forno.
- Smells delicious.
3
00:01:03,207 --> 00:01:05,675
Yeah, my Great Aunt Nicholina
used to say,
4
00:01:05,767 --> 00:01:09,077
"Making lasagne al forno
is like crossing a river -
5
00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:11,397
if you roll up your pants,
don't be surprised
6
00:01:11,487 --> 00:01:15,366
if you find clams nipping at your heels."
7
00:01:15,447 --> 00:01:17,836
- What did she mean?
- How should I know?
8
00:01:17,927 --> 00:01:21,397
She was a hopeless alcoholic.
9
00:01:21,487 --> 00:01:23,045
Here, have a taste.
10
00:01:23,127 --> 00:01:26,278
Hi, girls. Tell me,
how did the audition for the play go?
11
00:01:26,367 --> 00:01:30,246
Awful. We just got two tiny parts.
12
00:01:30,327 --> 00:01:33,956
We're doing Sound of Music.
Blanche is mad she didn't get the lead.
13
00:01:34,047 --> 00:01:37,357
I can't believe that you weren't cast
in the lead role.
14
00:01:37,447 --> 00:01:39,517
You've gotten it the past five years.
15
00:01:39,607 --> 00:01:43,156
Well, they hired a new director this year,
and he has no taste.
16
00:01:43,247 --> 00:01:46,125
Blanche used to sleep with the old one.
17
00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:50,722
The new director's gay.
18
00:01:51,407 --> 00:01:55,639
A gay theatre director -
did you ever hear of such a thing?
19
00:01:55,727 --> 00:01:57,319
Tha�s absolutely shocking.
20
00:01:57,407 --> 00:02:02,037
Next thing you know, they'll have
black basketball players in the NBA.
21
00:02:02,767 --> 00:02:08,080
Ma, you are making lasagne al forno.
What is the occasion?
22
00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:12,319
There's no occasion.
I just know i�s your favourite.
23
00:02:12,407 --> 00:02:14,841
- I'll get it.
- This takes 12 hours to make.
24
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:15,916
What do you want?
25
00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:18,885
Nothing. And it takes 16.
26
00:02:19,447 --> 00:02:23,599
Ma, the only time you make
lasagne al forno is for funerals and favours.
27
00:02:23,687 --> 00:02:25,882
You're not in black,
so what do you want?
28
00:02:25,967 --> 00:02:30,836
Nothing. Dorothy, you're a sick,
suspicious, paranoid person.
29
00:02:32,247 --> 00:02:35,159
Stan, my favourite ex-son-in-law!
30
00:02:35,247 --> 00:02:37,283
Oh, God!
31
00:02:37,367 --> 00:02:39,927
Stanley, what the hell are you doing here?
32
00:02:40,007 --> 00:02:42,521
Don't talk to him like that.
I invited him for dinner.
33
00:02:42,607 --> 00:02:45,121
- What?
- I love your toupee, Stanley. Is it new?
34
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:49,962
Yeah, yeah. The guy at the shop
calls it the Dan Rather model.
35
00:02:50,047 --> 00:02:53,676
- Does it make me look more intellectual?
- Absolutely.
36
00:02:53,767 --> 00:02:56,679
By the way, Stanley, your fly is open.
37
00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:04,556
- I'm so embarrassed.
- Don't worry about it.
38
00:03:04,647 --> 00:03:07,878
I hear that Dan Rather
has the same problem.
39
00:03:08,607 --> 00:03:11,724
Tha�s why he sits behind a desk.
40
00:03:11,807 --> 00:03:14,082
Ma, listen, I want some answers.
41
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:17,318
Now, why did you prepare
my favourite meal
42
00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:21,719
and then invite my least favourite person
to come and eat it with us?
43
00:03:21,807 --> 00:03:25,038
All right, all right. I need a favour.
44
00:03:25,127 --> 00:03:27,641
Remember my brother Angelo?
He was at your wedding.
45
00:03:27,727 --> 00:03:29,877
He's the priest who lives in Sicily.
46
00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:32,561
He's going to Brooklyn next week
to visit the family
47
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:35,639
and insisted on stopping off
in Miami one day
48
00:03:35,727 --> 00:03:38,639
to wish you two
a happy 40th wedding anniversary.
49
00:03:38,727 --> 00:03:40,797
But we're not married any more.
50
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,436
Which brings me to the lasagne al forno.
51
00:03:45,687 --> 00:03:49,760
I want you two to pretend you're still
married and that we all live here together.
52
00:03:49,847 --> 00:03:53,806
I'm sorry. I will not take part in this.
The institution of marriage is sacred.
53
00:03:53,887 --> 00:03:56,845
- I'll give you 50 bucks.
- OK, I'll do it.
54
00:03:58,007 --> 00:04:02,762
L�s only for one afternoon. L�ll break your
uncle's heart if he finds out you're divorced.
55
00:04:02,847 --> 00:04:06,396
Ma, forget it. We're divorced
because Stanley cheated on me.
56
00:04:06,487 --> 00:04:09,001
He is a loathsome, repulsive creature
57
00:04:09,087 --> 00:04:12,443
and even the thought of pretending
to be married to him makes me ill.
58
00:04:12,527 --> 00:04:15,405
Fine, but I'm still staying for dinner.
59
00:04:15,487 --> 00:04:17,955
- I'll never speak to you again.
- I don't care.
60
00:04:18,047 --> 00:04:19,719
- I'll cut you out of the will.
- I don't care.
61
00:04:19,807 --> 00:04:22,401
I'll invite Stan over every night
for the rest of your life!
62
00:04:22,487 --> 00:04:25,365
How bad can it be?
L�s just for the day.
63
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:36,241
- I just pressed our costumes.
- Thank you.
64
00:04:36,327 --> 00:04:39,046
I'm nervous
about the dress rehearsal tonight.
65
00:04:39,127 --> 00:04:41,687
- Can we go over our lines again?
- Sure.
66
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:44,804
Can we take it from the top
of scene three here?
67
00:04:44,887 --> 00:04:48,197
I'm standing on the balcony
of the von Trapp home,
68
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:52,963
listening to artillery shells bursting in the
distance, and you come on from upstage.
69
00:04:53,047 --> 00:04:55,436
- OK. You ready?
- Yes.
70
00:04:56,007 --> 00:04:58,999
The Nazis are coming!
The Nazis are coming!
71
00:04:59,087 --> 00:05:03,683
Everybody, grab a gun and go
to the basement! Come on! Move, move!
72
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,758
No, no, no...
73
00:05:09,607 --> 00:05:14,203
Sophia, now, just relax. We're just going
over our lines for The Sound of Music.
74
00:05:14,287 --> 00:05:16,847
Oh, thank God!
75
00:05:16,927 --> 00:05:21,284
- Whoo! It is really coming down.
- Wha�s coming down?
76
00:05:24,927 --> 00:05:28,078
The Liberace marquee at Caesars Palace.
77
00:05:29,487 --> 00:05:31,603
Rain! Rain, Rose!
78
00:05:31,687 --> 00:05:35,362
Where is that idiot, Stan? Angelo will
be here from the airport any minute.
79
00:05:35,447 --> 00:05:40,043
I don't know where he is. Stan's always
late. He was even late for our first date.
80
00:05:40,127 --> 00:05:42,357
And then you were late.
81
00:05:45,607 --> 00:05:50,601
Which is why you had to marry
that stupid, lazy, no-good pinhead of a...
82
00:05:50,687 --> 00:05:53,565
prince! This man is a prince.
83
00:05:53,647 --> 00:05:55,956
- Come in, Stan.
- I'm sorry I'm late.
84
00:05:56,047 --> 00:05:59,084
The rain really tied up the traffic.
Hi, girls.
85
00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:00,361
- Hi.
- Hi, Stan.
86
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,597
Hello, Mama Bear.
87
00:06:05,247 --> 00:06:08,080
Papa Bear's back in the cave.
88
00:06:08,727 --> 00:06:11,446
I could vomit just looking at you.
89
00:06:15,247 --> 00:06:18,956
That must be Angelo. You two go out
the back. He can't see you here.
90
00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:21,242
- Go ahead! Go, go!
- OK.
91
00:06:23,207 --> 00:06:25,846
- Angelo!
- Sophia!
92
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:31,604
You're looking terrific! Why, you
haven't changed a bit in 40 years!
93
00:06:31,687 --> 00:06:36,442
- Angelo, you're a priest. You shouldn't lie.
- Ah, don't worry about it.
94
00:06:36,527 --> 00:06:43,239
Before the trip, I said an extra 50 Hail
Marys in case I felt like cutting loose.
95
00:06:44,527 --> 00:06:47,121
- Dorothy!
- Uncle Angelo!
96
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,562
It is so good to see you!
97
00:06:49,647 --> 00:06:52,605
Dorothy, you know something?
98
00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:56,441
You look more beautiful now
than you did on your wedding day.
99
00:06:56,527 --> 00:06:59,724
He just used up all 50 Hail Marys
on that one.
100
00:07:02,287 --> 00:07:07,486
Stanley, you're a still a funny guy.
You got a sense of humour still, eh?
101
00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:10,240
- He still make you laugh like he used to?
- Not really.
102
00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:14,161
But, then again,
I haven't seen him naked lately.
103
00:07:19,447 --> 00:07:22,678
Would you listen to those two?
Always with the quips.
104
00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:24,644
So, tell me. How are the children?
105
00:07:24,727 --> 00:07:28,276
- Uncle Angelo, they're all grown up.
- How nice.
106
00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:33,566
Kate is an interior decorator in New York,
and Michael is a very successful musician.
107
00:07:33,647 --> 00:07:36,559
I was disappointed he didn't go
into the novelty business with me.
108
00:07:36,647 --> 00:07:42,165
Yes, it was a crushing blow when he
decided to join the Boston Philharmonic
109
00:07:42,247 --> 00:07:46,399
instead of selling rubber dog poop
door to door.
110
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,764
Don't knock the novelty business.
111
00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:55,760
Rubber dog poop and joy buzzers
provided nicely for you, the two kids...
112
00:07:55,847 --> 00:07:58,407
And several stewardesses.
113
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,877
Stewardesses?
114
00:08:01,967 --> 00:08:06,836
They adopted them. After Asian babies,
they're the most popular.
115
00:08:06,927 --> 00:08:10,363
Ma, could I please see you
in the kitchen?
116
00:08:13,967 --> 00:08:18,279
Hurry back, Mama Bear.
Papa Bear gets Ionely without you.
117
00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:25,883
I think things are going nicely.
118
00:08:25,967 --> 00:08:28,800
Save it.
I am going to tell Uncle Angelo the truth.
119
00:08:28,887 --> 00:08:32,562
- L�s only for a couple of hours more.
- Ma, I can't do it.
120
00:08:32,647 --> 00:08:36,435
Pretending we're married, as though
nothing happened, i�s making me crazy.
121
00:08:36,527 --> 00:08:41,043
- L�s time to take my heart medicine.
- You need water to take your pill?
122
00:08:41,127 --> 00:08:46,121
Not pills. I'll take a shot of Scotch,
12 years old, if you got it.
123
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,917
I have a confession to make.
124
00:08:49,007 --> 00:08:52,397
Good. I get my Scotch, we go in the closet.
125
00:08:53,607 --> 00:08:55,723
No, i�s about Stan and me.
126
00:08:55,807 --> 00:08:58,162
You know something, Dorothy?
127
00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:03,958
On your wedding day, Sophia told me she
said your marriage was never gonna last.
128
00:09:04,047 --> 00:09:06,117
That made me very sad.
129
00:09:06,207 --> 00:09:11,122
And now to see you and Stan so happy
after all of these years,
130
00:09:11,207 --> 00:09:14,483
it does an old man's heart good.
131
00:09:17,047 --> 00:09:19,356
And so does that.
132
00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:22,156
Uncle Angelo...
133
00:09:22,247 --> 00:09:25,876
I'm so glad I disobeyed the doctor's orders
134
00:09:25,967 --> 00:09:31,041
and risked this long trip
to see the both of you so much in love.
135
00:09:31,127 --> 00:09:33,766
Now, what were you saying?
136
00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:37,761
Uncle Angelo, I wanted to say...
137
00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:46,078
Don't just stand there, Papa Bear -
come give Mama Bear a big bear hug.
138
00:09:54,047 --> 00:09:57,722
- Can I get you another slice of cake?
- No, thank you.
139
00:09:57,807 --> 00:10:01,720
- I'll take a slice, darling.
- No problem, sweetheart.
140
00:10:01,807 --> 00:10:03,320
Hurry back, dumpling.
141
00:10:03,407 --> 00:10:06,558
My feet have wings, barf bag.
142
00:10:12,407 --> 00:10:15,205
Please hang in there a little while longer,
143
00:10:15,287 --> 00:10:17,847
and Angelo will be on a plane
headed for Brooklyn.
144
00:10:17,927 --> 00:10:20,760
Wish I'd taken my raincoat.
145
00:10:25,247 --> 00:10:27,636
Why are you two dressed like that?
146
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:30,605
These are our costumes
for the play, Dorothy.
147
00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:34,043
We were in the middle of rehearsal
when they told us all to go home.
148
00:10:34,127 --> 00:10:36,357
There's a hurricane heading for Miami.
149
00:10:36,447 --> 00:10:39,837
You know, I think I will take a slice of cake...
Hello.
150
00:10:39,927 --> 00:10:43,397
Uncle Angelo, I'd like you to meet...
151
00:10:45,047 --> 00:10:48,596
- I'm Sister Rose.
- Nice to meet you.
152
00:10:48,687 --> 00:10:51,838
- I'm Sister Blanche.
- Nice to meet you, Sister Blanche.
153
00:10:51,927 --> 00:10:54,521
We're here collecting...
154
00:10:54,607 --> 00:10:59,442
lingerie... for needy sexy people.
155
00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:09,880
There's a big hurricane headed this way.
They want everyone to stay where they are.
156
00:11:09,967 --> 00:11:12,481
We could be trapped together for days!
157
00:11:12,567 --> 00:11:14,956
Oh, Jesus!
158
00:11:18,447 --> 00:11:22,486
Please protect us and watch over us
in this, our hour of need.
159
00:11:22,567 --> 00:11:24,876
Amen.
160
00:11:41,407 --> 00:11:47,084
- Boy, i�s really coming down out there.
- I've never been through a hurricane.
161
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:52,241
There's nothing to be afraid of. I've been
through hurricanes. They can be fun.
162
00:11:52,327 --> 00:11:55,717
I remember one when I was married.
163
00:12:00,527 --> 00:12:02,802
- Married?
- Mary.
164
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:09,238
When I was Mary in the Christmas pageant
at the convent. Remember, Sister Rose?
165
00:12:09,327 --> 00:12:11,966
Oh, my, yes.
Sister Blanche is quite an actress.
166
00:12:12,047 --> 00:12:15,881
She'd have to be to make anyone
believe she was a virgin.
167
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,558
Stanley, you're a pig in a cheap suit.
168
00:12:27,087 --> 00:12:30,966
- You know, for two cents...
- You could get a better toupee?
169
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:35,723
Tha�s it, I've had enough.
I'm not going on with this any more.
170
00:12:35,807 --> 00:12:39,277
Angelo, look! St Francis of Assisi.
171
00:12:45,967 --> 00:12:49,198
Shut up and play ball, you yutz!
172
00:12:49,287 --> 00:12:52,199
False alarm. Never mind.
173
00:12:52,287 --> 00:12:55,438
Le�s all go to bed.
Angelo, you can sleep in my room.
174
00:12:55,527 --> 00:12:57,836
Oh, yeah?
Well, won't it be crowded?
175
00:12:57,927 --> 00:13:02,557
- Please. In Sicily, we slept four in a bed.
- Yeah, but there's six of us.
176
00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:05,002
I meant just you and me.
177
00:13:05,087 --> 00:13:07,442
Fancy!
178
00:13:07,527 --> 00:13:10,121
Oh, come on, le�s go to bed.
179
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,357
- Yeah, I'm beat.
- Me too.
180
00:13:12,447 --> 00:13:13,675
Me too.
181
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:15,758
Me too.
182
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:39,764
- Who is it?
- L�s Uncle Angelo.
183
00:13:42,527 --> 00:13:45,041
Come in.
184
00:13:45,127 --> 00:13:49,564
- Dorothy, would you do me a favour?
- Of course, Uncle Angelo. Anything.
185
00:13:49,647 --> 00:13:52,844
I want you to sleep with this man.
186
00:13:54,327 --> 00:13:56,079
Forget it!
187
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:59,477
Please! I'm begging you
as a man of the cloth.
188
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,758
Now I know how Jessica Hahn
must have felt.
189
00:14:08,167 --> 00:14:11,239
Look, I'm sorry, Uncle Angelo.
We had a fight.
190
00:14:11,327 --> 00:14:15,957
I know, and I wanna go to bed,
so you two kids, please make up.
191
00:14:16,047 --> 00:14:18,163
Fine, fine, we're made up.
192
00:14:18,247 --> 00:14:21,762
Thank you.
Good night, sweet dreams.
193
00:14:26,127 --> 00:14:29,563
I know i�s been a while, but try
to control yourself. I need some rest.
194
00:14:32,487 --> 00:14:35,445
- What is that for?
- You're not getting into this bed.
195
00:14:35,527 --> 00:14:37,995
- Where am I supposed to sleep?
- On the floor, like any dog.
196
00:14:38,087 --> 00:14:39,645
Fine.
197
00:14:40,327 --> 00:14:45,276
Just fine. I don't have to beg a woman
to get into bed. Women come to me.
198
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:49,997
Yeah, right after they get
the approval number on your MasterCard.
199
00:14:51,327 --> 00:14:54,160
- Good night.
- Oh, shut up.
200
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:14,641
Stanley, if you're doing what I think
you're doing, you're in big trouble.
201
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:23,163
I was just remembering the first time
you ever kicked me out of bed
202
00:15:23,247 --> 00:15:24,919
and I had to sleep on the floor.
203
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:29,364
Emile Zund�s Hidden Honeymoon
Hideaway in the Poconos.
204
00:15:29,447 --> 00:15:32,120
"Where every cottage is April in Paris."
205
00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:35,085
And every bathroom, Calcutta in July.
206
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:39,838
Do you remember how I convinced you
to let me back into bed?
207
00:15:39,927 --> 00:15:41,883
No.
208
00:15:41,967 --> 00:15:46,643
I've got a crush on you
209
00:15:46,727 --> 00:15:48,957
Swweetie pie
210
00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:52,198
All the day and night-time
211
00:15:52,287 --> 00:15:53,686
Hear me sigh
212
00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:57,646
Stanley Zbornak, I don't believe
that you're trying to charm me.
213
00:15:57,727 --> 00:16:00,400
- Is it working?
- I don't think so.
214
00:16:01,407 --> 00:16:03,762
Then I'll have to pull out the big gun.
215
00:16:03,847 --> 00:16:08,682
You're wasting your time, Stanley.
I'm familiar with the big gun.
216
00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:14,844
Here goes.
217
00:16:14,927 --> 00:16:17,236
Embrace me
218
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:22,606
My swweet. Embraceable you
219
00:16:22,687 --> 00:16:25,247
Embrace me
220
00:16:25,327 --> 00:16:28,319
You irreplaceable you
221
00:16:28,407 --> 00:16:32,639
Dorothy!
Dorothy, I just had a terrible nightmare.
222
00:16:32,727 --> 00:16:33,921
Ma, what was it?
223
00:16:34,007 --> 00:16:35,838
This.
224
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,238
Break it up.
225
00:16:39,327 --> 00:16:42,842
Stanley, think of me of the Berlin Wall.
226
00:16:42,927 --> 00:16:49,366
Try to climb over me, and you'll know what
barbed wire between your legs feels like.
227
00:16:49,447 --> 00:16:51,438
Gotcha.
228
00:16:51,527 --> 00:16:54,564
Dorothy, how did this start? Cole Porter?
229
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,160
Gershwin.
230
00:16:56,247 --> 00:16:59,319
Thank God I came in time.
231
00:17:07,847 --> 00:17:08,962
I'll get it.
232
00:17:09,047 --> 00:17:10,480
Hello?
233
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:13,365
Hi, Walter. How are you?
234
00:17:13,447 --> 00:17:17,235
Yeah, I feel like a caged animal in heat, too.
235
00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:25,363
Walter! You naughty boy.
Keep on talking.
236
00:17:26,807 --> 00:17:29,116
What am I wearing?
237
00:17:29,207 --> 00:17:33,758
Well, to be perfectly honest, a nun's outfit!
238
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:38,123
Oh, that sounds good to me.
239
00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:43,042
I'll be over there just as soon
as the storm lets up.
240
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,478
He's a leper.
241
00:17:58,007 --> 00:18:00,396
I'm the only one who will touch him.
242
00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:07,235
- Good morning, everyone.
- Good morning.
243
00:18:07,327 --> 00:18:10,239
- I'll make some breakfast.
- L�s such a shame.
244
00:18:10,327 --> 00:18:13,797
You two stuck here
on your 40th anniversary, stuck with us.
245
00:18:13,887 --> 00:18:15,843
40th anniversary?
246
00:18:15,927 --> 00:18:18,566
Sure, today's the 25th, isn't it?
247
00:18:18,647 --> 00:18:21,559
Yes. Yeah, I guess it is.
248
00:18:21,647 --> 00:18:24,798
I remember when my parents
celebrated their 40th anniversary.
249
00:18:24,887 --> 00:18:29,836
They did the cutest thing.
They renewed their marriage vows.
250
00:18:29,927 --> 00:18:32,487
You two should do that.
251
00:18:33,327 --> 00:18:35,966
You've got a priest right here.
L�d be perfect.
252
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:39,244
L�s sweet, i�s romantic, i�s spontaneous.
253
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:42,717
L�s the dumbest idea I've ever had.
254
00:18:43,487 --> 00:18:46,126
- I think i�s a great idea.
- What?
255
00:18:46,207 --> 00:18:49,085
Snookums, could I see you
in the living room?
256
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:51,203
Sure.
257
00:18:51,927 --> 00:18:54,441
What is wrong with you?
Are you out of your mind?
258
00:18:54,527 --> 00:18:56,165
Dorothy, just hear me out.
259
00:18:56,247 --> 00:19:00,525
The last two days, you and me being here,
brought back a lot of good memories.
260
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:04,395
Last night when you and I were
in bed together, I felt something.
261
00:19:04,487 --> 00:19:07,763
That was my mother's knee.
262
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:12,477
Besides that.
There was still some of the old magic there.
263
00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:15,639
Look, I know we loused things up
the last time.
264
00:19:15,727 --> 00:19:18,036
I loused things up.
265
00:19:18,127 --> 00:19:21,085
But now we have a chance
to give it another try.
266
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:25,080
Babe, I've missed you.
I wanna go through with the ceremony.
267
00:19:25,167 --> 00:19:28,477
Then we'll go down to City Hall
and make it legal.
268
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,717
- Stan...
- Dorothy, i�s fate.
269
00:19:30,807 --> 00:19:34,766
Divine intervention. The hurricane,
us pretending we're married.
270
00:19:34,847 --> 00:19:37,805
If God didn't want us together,
he wouldn't have sent us a priest.
271
00:19:37,887 --> 00:19:40,526
I'm not a priest.
272
00:19:40,607 --> 00:19:43,405
Get back here.
What do you mean, you're not a priest?
273
00:19:43,487 --> 00:19:47,526
I cannot go on with this deception
any longer.
274
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,924
I can't marry you.
I'm not a priest - I never was.
275
00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:54,441
Uncle Angelo, what are you talking about?
276
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,916
I gotta sit down.
277
00:19:58,487 --> 00:20:01,479
Let me tell you a story.
278
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,797
Picture it...
279
00:20:05,087 --> 00:20:08,045
Sicily, 1914.
280
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:14,316
I promise our dear sainted mother on her
deathbed I'm gonna join the priesthood.
281
00:20:14,407 --> 00:20:16,796
On my way to the seminary in Palermo,
282
00:20:16,887 --> 00:20:21,802
I stop off in local trattoria
for a glass of Chianti.
283
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:26,677
The waitress who brings the drink
to the table is a vision.
284
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:30,996
Luscious lips, full bosom...
285
00:20:32,047 --> 00:20:35,596
and a behind so round,
286
00:20:35,687 --> 00:20:38,679
so firm, you got to fall down on your knees
287
00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:43,158
and cry out at its magnificent, regal beauty!
288
00:20:45,367 --> 00:20:46,959
I'm a butt man.
289
00:20:51,647 --> 00:20:55,196
Anyway, my devotion to God
doesn't waver,
290
00:20:55,287 --> 00:21:01,681
but suddenly the idea of living
with a bunch of guys in itchy robes
291
00:21:01,767 --> 00:21:06,522
doesn't seem quite as appealing
as that tuchus.
292
00:21:08,127 --> 00:21:11,358
So I tear up my priest application,
293
00:21:11,447 --> 00:21:17,044
ask Philomena to marry me and we lived
the next 72 years in wedded bliss.
294
00:21:17,127 --> 00:21:20,403
Well, why did you keep it a secret
all these years?
295
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:23,047
I was afraid my family
was gonna turn on me
296
00:21:23,127 --> 00:21:27,405
if they find out that I broke a promise
to Mama on her deathbed.
297
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,637
I promised Mama I'd marry Benito,
298
00:21:29,727 --> 00:21:34,084
the town's organ grinder
monkey-hat manufacturer.
299
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,397
- And you didn't do it?
- Please.
300
00:21:36,487 --> 00:21:42,881
I loved my mother dearly, but I had my own
life to live and I guess you did, too, Angelo.
301
00:21:42,967 --> 00:21:46,562
- Can you ever forgive me?
- Of course, Uncle Angelo.
302
00:21:46,647 --> 00:21:50,117
Actually, we've all been deceitful, too.
303
00:21:50,207 --> 00:21:54,405
Stanley and I are divorced.
I hope you're not disappointed.
304
00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:58,924
No, I'm thrilled. I never liked him.
He's a yutz.
305
00:22:04,607 --> 00:22:07,167
And we're not really nuns.
306
00:22:07,247 --> 00:22:11,286
We're actually gorgeous private citizens.
307
00:22:11,967 --> 00:22:14,606
Now I'm confused.
308
00:22:14,687 --> 00:22:18,839
Come to the kitchen. I'll fix you some
breakfast and explain the whole thing.
309
00:22:18,927 --> 00:22:23,796
Look, everybody, the storm's letting up.
I'm gonna run right on over to Walter's.
310
00:22:23,887 --> 00:22:26,447
Aren't you gonna change?
311
00:22:26,527 --> 00:22:28,199
No.
312
00:22:31,607 --> 00:22:33,484
L�s still pretty windy out there.
313
00:22:33,567 --> 00:22:37,162
I'm gonna go outside
and see if I can get airborne.
314
00:22:40,327 --> 00:22:44,002
Well, I'd better get going, too.
315
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:47,756
Uh, Stan.
316
00:22:47,847 --> 00:22:50,156
About what you said...
317
00:22:50,247 --> 00:22:53,205
Hey, Dorothy...
318
00:22:53,287 --> 00:22:57,200
I was kidding. It was a joke.
319
00:22:58,087 --> 00:22:59,725
Tha�s what I figured.
320
00:23:01,487 --> 00:23:04,320
You didn't think I meant it? Did you?
321
00:23:04,407 --> 00:23:07,205
No, of course not.
322
00:23:07,287 --> 00:23:12,680
Of course not. I'm strictly cheerleaders,
wild parties and hot tubs.
323
00:23:12,767 --> 00:23:17,716
Stan, before I forget, a deal's a deal.
324
00:23:17,807 --> 00:23:19,877
Here's your 50.
325
00:23:19,967 --> 00:23:24,085
Tha�s OK, Sophia.
This one's on the house.
326
00:23:38,607 --> 00:23:41,326
Pull yourself together, pussycat.
327
00:23:41,407 --> 00:23:44,160
Gershwin confused a lot of people.
27006
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