Original subtitles

The action of memory takes place not in the neurons themselves,

but in the space between the neurons,

in the synapses in the way one neuron communicates with another.

Twenty bucks says I can get Professor Miller

to come out for drinks with us tonight.

Come on, Kira, don't act like you weren't

desperate to TA for her.

Because she's brilliant.

Right.

The fact that she's a smoke show

had nothing to do with it.

Shh!

...whether the memory is episodic, semantic,

priming, or procedural.

It's all impacted.

Even now, your experience hearing this lecture,

sitting in this room,

is in some way quite literally shaping who you are.

Can you tell me what you see?

Let's see...

A spider.

Okay.

How 'bout this one?

I'm... I'm not sure.

A... A-A lamp?

It's okay, you're doing great.

It's not a lamp, dude.

Don't be an asshole.

I turned down a postdoc at Stanford with Kramer

because Dr. Miller was such hot shit.

But somehow, here I am, freezing my ass off in Boston,

testing muscle spasm drugs on Alzheimer's patients.

Spoiler alert: it's not doing anything.

Hey.

How's it going in here?

Um, still no change in brain activity.

It's still early in the treatment protocol.

What are you seeing?

This is from last week,

and this is the response to the same question this week.

There wasn't a change in his ability to recall the word,

but there's a definite increase in pupil size.

He's remembering the object

even though he still can't name it.

Mm.

We should go through our past participants.

I can have them come in, set a baseline too.

This is promising.

Good job, Kira.

Hi. I thought you left.

I did leave.

Going down?

Shit, sorry-- Do you wanna...?

It's okay.

Well. Have a good night.

Sorry. I know office hours just ended.

No. It's okay, come on in.

Oh, here, fuck. Sorry about that.

- It's okay. - Here. You can sit there.

So, what's up?

I wanted to let you know that a postdoc spot

has unexpectedly opened up

in Dr. Frankfurt's bioengineering lab.

Really? Uh, Gideon is, um,

very smart. His people skills are a little...

I really appreciate this opportunity

getting to work with you,

especially on the study,

but bioengineering is my area of interest,

and I've been trying to get into his lab

for over a year now.

So, you're leaving.

Yes. Yeah. I've decided to accept the spot.

Well, I will be sorry to lose you.

Also... um...

I'm very serious about my work, Dr. Miller.

And whatever's been going on between us...

I just can't be distracted right now.

You know, I'm not really sure

I know what you're talking about.

I'm sorry if maybe there's been a little misunderstanding.

Yeah, that-that's my mistake.

But I do hope that you have a good experience with Gideon.

I really have heard great things.

Okay.

Thank you again for this opportunity, Dr. Miller.

So, Kira, Herman. Herman, Kira.

Herman's visiting from the University of Oslo

and he has a great joke about two-photon laser ablation.

And, Herman, Kira is the new rock star

in my lab, she is currently crushing multivascularization

with Josh here. Hey, Herman, tell Josh the joke.

So, what does the one proton

in the hadron collider say to the other?

- I have no idea. - I'm splitting.

Sorry. Do I... Do I know you?

I thought you might.

Aren't you at the wrong department party?

I was actually dragged here by my friend Jose against my will.

I'm not sure he should still count as a friend.

How is it working for Gideon?

Another round of gouda for my friends, please!

It's good. Yeah, I've learned a lot.

He's really talented and... yeah.

- Yeah. These parties

rarely bring out the best in anybody.

They're a nightmare.

Do you wanna get out of here?

You coming?

When I told you I was taking the job in Gideon's lab,

and I thought there was something going on between us,

you said you didn't know what I was talking about.

I knew exactly what you were talking about.

I was just being an asshole.

Come on.

Why swimming?

I'm not sure. It's quiet, maybe.

You don't have to rely on anybody.

It's just you and the water until you can't go any longer.

Keeps me out of trouble.

You're a tenured professor at MIT.

That can't have been that much trouble.

My parents were not easy when I was younger.

I don't wanna be competitive,

but if we're taking bets on whose childhood

was most fucked up...

Right.

Daughter of a clone. Outta my league.

- Uh-huh. - You never brought it up.

Doesn't make very good small talk.

Yes, hi, my mother is the product of an illegal,

unethical human cloning experiment,

the legacy of which is gonna haunt her forever.

I say that to people at parties, they just get weird.

Well, if we're being competitive...

Just when I got enough perspective

to talk to my mother about my childhood,

she was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's.

Shit, I'm sorry.

It's why I do the research I do.

To fucked-up families.

To fucked-up families.

So why are you here?

Uh, you asked me if I wanted to come with you.

That's not what I meant.

I...

I'm hiding...

most of the time.

With most of the people in my life.

I've gotten pretty good at it.

For some reason, with you I don't have to.

That's why I'm here.

Okay.

In the past, we've struggled to get complex organs

to hold their shape during the printing process.

Hollow organs such as bladders have been possible

for some time, but with something as solid

and intricate as the heart,

the organ begins to collapse mid-process.

This new technology

incorporates the use of pulsed lasers

for deposition of bio-inks onto a substrate,

potentially paving the way for bio-identical

replacement hearts, livers, kidneys.

This is life-saving treatment for thousands of patients.

You had me at bio-identical kidneys.

Oh, I put it in there special for you, babe.

I'm serious. You were so great.

I'm so proud of you.

I don't want to interrupt.

Mr. Darros just wanted to say

how impressed he is with your work

Oh, thank you.

He set up a new foundation,

and this is exactly the kind of research he wants to support.

He hopes you'll consider us if you ever find yourself

looking for outside funding.

That's very nice. Thank you.

Keep up the good work, Dr. Manning.

Thank you.

What was that? - You're kidding.

- No. - Paul Darros,

the CEO of the world's largest logistics company.

Oh, right, Jesus, yeah.

He just started a foundation with a $50 billion endowment

focused on scientific research for global impact.

Do you think he actually cares about helping people?

I think Paul Darros wants to buy his way

into the humanitarian hall of fame.

If he does some good in service of that,

does it matter if he actually cares?

Oh my God, it's so good.

I want to put them all in my mouth at the same time,

'cause they're so good, but I know that would be weird.

That would be weird.

We should just order this place every night.

We could skip unpacking the kitchen stuff altogether.

It's fine by me.

So, we... we live here now.

We do.

Together.

Yeah, when I asked you to move in with me,

that was the general idea.

I like it.

The apartment or moving in with me?

Both.

I moved around so much as a kid

that it's really nice to be settled.

Next thing I know,

you'll be wanting to paint the nursery.

If that's a subtle way of asking

if I've made up my mind about kids...

I haven't. - Fine.

I'll just paint the nursery myself.

Sorry, do I know you?

I thought you might.

♪ My dear, when was the last time I held you near? ♪

♪ When was last time I whispered in your ear? ♪

♪ When you are gone, people will find me in tears ♪

♪ When was last time I whispered in your ear? ♪

♪ How much I love you, Dear ♪

Holy shit. - I know.

It worked?

It worked. It started beating.

- Jesus. Babe, you-you did it!

I know. I-I can't believe it. I...

You printed a fucking heart!

Yeah, I did. I know. I did it.

Oh my God! Oh my God!

This is amazing! Oh my God, I'm so proud of you.

Good news is your eggs are in great shape.

There's definitely viability there.

But the polyps in your uterus

could make it very difficult

for you to carry a baby to term.

Now, I know that's not the news you were hoping for,

but using your eggs and finding someone else to carry the pregnancy

is definitely an option I think we can consider.

Having a family doesn't always happen exactly the way we imagine it will.

I've had a lot of positive outcomes with...

Are you okay?

Sure. Yeah.

I'll do it.

This was my thing.

You have so much going on right now, I would never ask

you to do that. - No, no, no. You don't have to.

Look at that.

- It's sprinkling. - Do you wanna feel it?

Oh, you got a little bit on your foot!

We got a little bit on me!

Hi, baby. Do you want to take our picture?

Oh!

You would like to touch the water?

It's okay. It's okay.

Okay, I'm gonna just take it quick. Okay.

These are the faces of patients

waiting on the transplant list.

People who are in desperate need of replacement organs.

Well, they don't gotta wait any longer. Because today,

the Additive Foundation, founded by Dr. Kira Manning,

embarks on its mission to make bio-printed organs

available to everyone in the world who needs them.

I'm sorry, uh, can I steal Dr. Manning for just a second?

- Excuse me. - Thanks.

All right.

Well...

Congratulations, again.

Thank you.

You know, we couldn't have done it without you.

No, to be even a small part of this, it's, uh...

it's fulfilling every vision I had about

what the foundation could accomplish.

Good. I am so glad.

Thank you for supporting me all these years.

Have you given any thought to-to what's next?

You know, where else the printing technology

might go?

- What do you mean? - Could you print a complete

organism, for example?

I'm talkin' soup to nuts. A whole person, say?

- I'm sorry, are you asking-- - Uh, uh, just completely

hypothetical, just-just as a thought experiment.

Human cloning is illegal.

For reasons I am only too familiar with--

Kira, I believe in unfettered scientific exploration.

It's not about the end product,

it's about what we learn and discover along the way.

It's not up for discussion.

The underwear wasn't gonna arrive in time,

so I just had it sent straight to your dorm.

- Mom. - The, uh, the boxer-brief?

- Mom. - What?

I'm going to college. 'Kay?

This is officially the moment

we stop talking about my underwear.

- Sorry.

Let me fix this, at least.

There.

Okay.

Try not to kill it.

I will. And I'm sorry

I can't make the ceremony tomorrow.

Oh, they're just dressing me up in my spooky robes

and blathering about how great I am,

so the people endowing my chair

don't think they've wasted their money.

Yeah, that's one way of looking at it.

Or you can look at it as well-deserved recognition

for discovering that a muscle-spasm drug

helps treat Alzheimer's. - Potato, pot-ah-to.

Proud of you.

All right.

Go, get outta here! Go to school! Have fun.

Try not to think about us anymore.

Well, maybe a little bit.

Take care of each other.

You are such a fucking softie!

Come on.

Alright, here we go.

Fuck.

Hey.

What happened? I thought you were going for a swim.

I couldn't find the pool.

What?

I walked around in circles for an hour.

I kept thinking I was gonna find it...

I don't... I don't understand.

I've been feeling confused.

You know, about little things like where I put my keys

or, um... I missed a meeting with a postdoc the other day.

- It could be a lot of things-- - It's happening, Kira.

I am almost exactly the same age as my mother

when she first showed symptoms. - No, you don't know that.

We need to just slow down-- - Kira, please, please,

don't try to make this go away.

We can't tell Lucas. - We can get you a consult,

an MRI-- - Kira, I don't want this

to fuck up his life the same way it fucked up mine.

Please.

Promise me that we're not gonna tell him, please.

Okay.

How'd your meeting with the department chair go?

I told her I wanted to take a leave of absence

and focus on my family.

Did you take your medication today?

It's not working.

It's early days.

I developed the drug, Kira.

we both know how it works. It was never good

with early-onset cases. - I know this is scary for you.

It is scary for me too, but we can't get ahead of ourselves.

I should've seen improvements by now.

If this isn't helping, I may not know my name

in three months.

And I don't wanna live that way.

I need you to prepare yourself, Kira.

I don't accept that.

I thought I watered that yesterday.

We're starting something new.

Are you finally getting excited about eyeballs?

Like, do you see what I mean?

Well, it's not eyeballs, Josh.

Is that brain tissue?

We are gonna try to print neurons.

Sure. I mean, I wanted a pony growing up

but my parents didn't think it would fit in our apartment,

so I got a cat.

I'm serious, Josh.

Neurons for a transplant.

No, I get it, people with brain injuries,

disease, that'd be huge for them.

But they're way too delicate.

Our process isn't set up for something that fine-grained.

Well, then we change the process.

Are you okay? What's this all about?

Are you with me?

I'm always with you, boss. You know that.

I, uh, I've been working on your treatment,

and Josh has been helping me,

and we're trying everything.

We finally got the new neurons to respond,

but the surgery, it would...

it would be such a big risk.

And I am so scared of losing you,

but I am...

I'm already losing you,

and I'm not sure what you'd want me to do.

Part of me wants to try it for you.

Part of me...

wants to try it for me.

Part of me wants to try it for Lucas.

Who's Lucas?

You are the love of my life.

Eleanor, I'm gonna have you count back from three for me.

Three.

Two.

Hey.

Do I know you?

I thought you might.

Can I ask you a few questions?

Are they gonna be annoying?

What's your birthday?

You still don't remember my birthday.

It's embarrassing.

What's our son's name?

Lucas Miller-Manning.

Can you repeat these words after me:

Face.

Velvet.

Church. Daisy. Red.

Red.

Daisy.

Church. Velvet. Face.

Now you're just being a pain in the ass.

Always.

Yeah, I called Lucas at school to catch up.

Told him you'd call him later.

Mm. Jesus, that was delicious.

When was the last time I spoke to him?

Um, about a month ago?

- Wow. - Yeah, I-I told him

you were preoccupied with a grant proposal.

I said I felt like I hadn't spoken to you in weeks,

which wasn't a complete lie.

I've been right here. I've always been right here.

Mm. Yeah, it's a little hard to tell, recently.

And historically.

Wow.

Back to me not being emotionally present.

I thought that...

I thought I'd get a break given the circumstances.

- Sorry.

My issues with constancy.

Is it hard for you to tell how I feel about you?

You know, you can be a little tricky.

The day that you came and told me

that you were leaving to go work for Gideon...

after you left,

I had to cancel all my meetings for the rest of the day.

I couldn't focus. I...

I couldn't work.

I couldn't stop thinking about you.

And then I went to the pool and swam.

Pushed myself so hard at one point,

I wasn't sure I was gonna make it to the other side.

Some kid lifeguard jumped in,

said it looked like I was gonna drown.

You coulda just told me you liked me too.

Would've been a lot easier.

Guess I'm not an easy-way-out kind of girl.

Oh, shit. I have to get up.

I have to check in with the office.

You want me to make you some breakfast?

Elle?

Elle?

Eleanor?

Eleanor?

Eleanor.

♪ Change like the wind

♪ Like the water

♪ Like skin

No, no, no.

♪ Change

Come on.

♪ Like the sky

♪ Like the leaves

No.

♪ Like a butterfly

♪ Would you live forever and never die ♪

♪ While everything around passes ♪

♪ Would you smell forever and never cry ♪

♪ While everything you know passes ♪

♪ Would you live forever and never die ♪

♪ While everything around passes ♪

♪ Would you smile forever and never cry ♪

So you've reconsidered.

Yeah.

I'll need resources and equipment.

I'm not even sure it's even possible.

We will get you whatever you need.

And there is one condition.

The machine, when I've done it, that's it.

I destroy it.

That is non-negotiable, Paul.

This is purely about scientific exploration.

So we have a deal?

I think we do.

I put in all the material orders.

It should be on its way.

Okay, great. Thank you.

Specs for the new laser lens?

Yeah. With a print this layered,

we need to control the heat diffusion

to the surrounding tissue.

I'll enter the specs into the larger schematics

when you're done.

This stays out of the schematics.

Why?

It's an insurance policy.

Without the lens, this machine is essentially

useless to Darros.

The specs stay between us,

and we keep control of it.

Then it stays between us.

You think she's gonna remember?

I just want it to be right when she wakes up.

Familiar.

I triple-checked the scan you sent.

The one from her physical after you had the baby.

It's older, but there's enough resolution there.

I uploaded it to the printer.

Great. Thanks...

for, for everything.

You've always been on my side,

ever since grad school.

Yeah, it's a lot to ask.

And, uh, I couldn't have...

You're the only person I trusted.

You know this won't keep her from getting sick.

It might buy me at least another 20 years

to try to figure out how to slow down the Alzheimer's.

What are you gonna tell Lucas? If this works?

I'll figure it out.

I have to believe that a world with her in it,

even if it's complicated,

is better than a world without her.

Hey. I know you want her back.

Do you think...

Do you think it'll really be her?

Was I asleep?

Not exactly.

Do you know where you are?

No, I don't think so. Is something wrong?

Face, velvet, church, daisy, red.

Face, velvet, church, daisy, red.

Take a look at this picture.

Do you recognise the baby?

No. Who is this?

That's okay.

Who are you?

Do I know you?

I thought you might.

That's it?

That's your story.

So we were...

You were in love.

You were the love of my life.

And we have a kid together.

Well, he's... he's all grown up now.

I wanna meet him.

I, uh, I think he'd find it hard to understand.

I've got someone.

Not a daughter, but almost.

Well, then you, you get it.

And this tattoo on my arm.

What is that? Some kind of ID number?

No. It's braille.

We were really cheesy when we got married

and, uh, we got matching UV tattoos.

It's, it's the first line of a W.S. Merwin poem.

What is it?

"Let me imagine that we will come again...

when we want to...

and it will be spring."

I didn't ask for this.

I didn't ask to be put in the world this way.

I didn't know how to live without you.

Without her!

I'm not Eleanor!

I can't imagine.

You should try to imagine

what it's like to wake up

and not know your own name.

To not know where you came from or what you've lived through.

Do you know how alone I felt?

I am so, so sorry.

I lost her,

and then I lost my way.

But I promise. I wanna make it right.

I'm gonna take care of you.

And what about Jules?

Did you make her before or after me?

Who?

Jules.

The teenage version of me.

I disabled the printer, Lucy.

I... It's gone.

I didn't print a teenager.

I have no idea who you're talking about.