All language subtitles for Midsomer Murders S14E04 The Oblong Murders

Yes?

Yes, of course.

This is a surprise.

How awful.

Not at all. Come on up.

It's the third floor.

You could probably do with a drink.

Sykesie.

Coffee's on the table.

Ooh, and I meant to tell you.

I think I might have found
a dog-minder for Sykes.

Millie Bullard.

Sister to the one and only George.

I wondered if you could ask
him to put in a good word?

Apparently she's very particular,
so some serious sucking up is required.

Message received.

- Is Ben back from his course today?
- Yeah, he is.

The role playing went down well, apparently.

I'll see you later.

Yeah? Hello.

I'll be there right away.

Easy does it.

She's over there.

Morning, John.

Kids found her trapped in the weir.

Why are you...?

I was in the station when the call came in.

I thought it might be...

It's a false alarm.

Thank God for that.

Right, let's get her out.

You thought it might have been...

John, I've got a favour to ask.

Ask away.

I wouldn't bother you normally.

I know these things happen all the time.

A young adult goes off and doesn't bother

telling her parents what she's doing.

Someone you know?

A daughter of some very old friends of mine,

the Olivers, Jim and Mary.

Name's Lucy.

Lovely girl, but she's just gone
completely off the radar.

Have you heard of the Oblong Foundation?

Oh, the New Age people at Malham Hall.

Yeah, the Obbies, as the locals call them.

Well, Lucy went on one of their
induction courses for a week

and stayed five or six months.

Regular home calls to her mum
and clad twice a week.

And then she just disappeared.

Not a word for two months now.

So Jim hired a private detective who
was supposed to be an expert on Cults,

but they fell out over money,
and he's no longer working for them.

They're desperate.

And I can understand why.

The spokesperson for the Oblong Foundation

claims to have no knowledge of her whereabouts.

I'll check it out.

I appreciate it, John.

And if there's anything I can do?

What?

It's nothing.

What?

Quiet!

Morning.

- This is John Barnaby.
- Miss Bullard, very pleased to meet you.

- It's Millie. Where's Sykes?
- I was introducing you to John Barnaby.

It's pointless if I don't meet the dog.

Come in. Come in. Quiet!

Yes? Oh, hello.

Look, there are plenty
of other dog-minders about.

Well, nothing has altered since yesterday,

and I don't envisage anything
changing for several months.

Outside.

No. No. No!

My sister's always been forthright,

but she's normally pretty
straightforward to deal with.

She hasn't put you out in the garden before.

No.

How long have the Oblong
people been at Malham Hall?

Getting on for a couple of years.

Ruth Lambert inherited the
place from her parents

who died in a boating accident.

You may have heard of them.

Property developer and his wife.

Oh, I remember.

It was a gas explosion wasn't it?

Yeah. Ruth was a member
of the Oblong Foundation.

You're not suggesting there's a connection?

There was no evidence of foul play.

The coroner was unequivocal, accidental death.

But it has proved quite
convenient for the Foundation.

I'll have them send over the file.

- Just in case there's something.
- I do apologise about all that.

Come in.

I'm afraid George has wasted
your time, Mr. Barnaby.

I need to see you and Sykes together,

so if the two of you could come
back tomorrow say about midday?

- No problem.
- Oh, perfect.

See you tomorrow.

Bye, George.

My sister.

We have no idea where your daughter is.

I'm sure she'll be in touch soon.

- Hey, where's Lucy, eh?
- Weirdoes.

- Where is she? Freaks!
- You just stop that now.

Stop that. It's not helping!

Perhaps you should watch yourselves first?

Dominic, I'll handle this.

You cannot force us to leave.
This is the queen's highway.

Everybody stop now, please.

If you're not on your way within three seconds,

I will be doing you for assault.

What, with a dangerous egg?

Three, two...

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby, Causton CID.

Who's in charge?

Freddie Raft.

Freddie. If you wait for me inside,
I'll be with you shortly.

Mr. and Mrs. Oliver, we need to talk.

We've heard nothing.

Neither have any of Lucy's friends.

It's totally out of character.

Do you know if her phone
or credit cards have been used?

We've tried to find out.

But they say it's all confidential.

They refuse to tell us anything.

The press have been in touch,

talking about doing a story
and using her picture.

We're not keen but I don't
know what else we can do.

They've agreed...

to no more demos for two weeks.

In return, I was hoping you might tell me

about the circumstances of Lucy's disappearance.

Departure. She hasn't disappeared.

She didn't tell you where she
was going, what she was doing?

No, but even if she had,

I'd be unable to tell her parents
without her permission.

Or you. We take confidentiality very seriously.

Freddie, I'm telling you, in a friendly way

that if you hear from Lucy, you will call me.

I don't need to know where she is.
Just that she's okay.

Do you understand?

And if you need to talk to anyone,
can you do it through me, please?

We need to speed things up
as soon as they arrive.

Who's that?

Thank you, yes. Just lay them out.

That's Ruth and Dominic.

Dominic's our inspirational teacher.

Ruth's the owner of Malham Hall.

She's a long-standing member of the Foundation.

Thank You.

Well, they're pretty harmless as cults go.

Harmless?

Jerry and Carolyn Lambert would
be spinning in their graves

if they knew what was happening up the Hall.

The mind control.

Psychological manipulation.

And then there's the nudity and the orgies

and the ritualised flagellations.

Not all bad then.

We get the odd absconder
down here, desperate for a drink.

But the fun police from the Hall
arrive and round them up.

They have an uncanny knack
of knowing when they're here.

Lucy Oliver was here the night
before she disappeared.

Well, that's why the Chief Inspector's here.

Isn't it?

Lucy Oliver's disappearance.

Did she say anything about where she was going?

No word about going anywhere.

But that Freddie woman got down here a bit quick

and the chat they had was intense.

You didn't hear what they were discussing?

No, but when Lucy left that evening,
that was the last we saw of her.

There are some who've been suspicious

of the Obbies from the start.

Previous owners of Malham Hall,

died in a boating accident.

A few conspiracy theorists still
believe that it wasn't an accident.

Retired property developer, Jeremy Lambert,

and his wife Carolyn, died last night

when their classic river cruiser
exploded as a result of a gas leak.

The couple who were experienced boaters

had spent the evening at a local restaurant,

where fellow diners said they
had enjoyed a quiet meal together.

The National Boat Owners' Association have said

the accident is a tragic reminder

of the importance of gas safety
procedures on pleasure craft,

particularly older boats with ageing equipment.

Police have asked for anyone
that was in the area

at the time of the incident to contact...

What did you make of the Obbies?

We'll be lucky to find out anything at all.

It's such a shame that Lucy's parents
fell out with the private detective.

He'd done all the hard work,

establishing false ID,
getting a pass for the induction week.

Afternoon.

Oh, very Miami Vice.

It's just part of the role play.

This is funny. This is extraordinary.

The name the private detective

he was going to go undercover with was "Jones."

What age was he?

Same age as Ben.

A girl has gone missing
from the Oblong Foundation.

How about going undercover
on one of their induction courses?

No, I've got a week off, sir. I need it

I just" I just popped in to...

I think this is what is called
an amazing opportunity.

Intelligence gathering skills, you see.

The course has not been in vain.

And it wouldn't do your promotion
prospects any harm either.

That is undue pressure, sir.

The missing girl is the daughter
of some good friends of George's.

Seriously, Ben, have a look at that.

We're extremely worried about
what might've happened to her.

- Her disappearance does feel iffy.
- Yeah.

How does Ben feel about it all?

Oh, he can handle himself.

Having said that, playing the part of
his undercover identity will be a test:

burnt-out media wiz kid from Crouch End.

Anyway, we've got our interview with Millie.

We'll both have to be on our best behaviour.

I've heard that.

Oh, no problem.

Sykesie'll charm her, won't you, boy?

Perfect imperfection.

The grit in a pure voice

which gives the song that extra lift of emotion.

The extra inch on a waistline

that proclaims a joy in sensual pleasure.

And the appetite for it.

Are not these things more beautiful

than the purest beauty itself?

The planet Earth,

our very home,

it is not a sphere.

It is...

Oblong!

Oblong.

A spinning oblong, wobbling,
and tilting on its axis,

in its Oblong orbit round the Sun.

Imperfect fireball,

a ragged life-giving globe of flame.

All imperfections granting
so many possibilities...

and bringing so much of what
is unique and beautiful to life.

To our lives.

And so, being here, this week,

you are invited to be a part
of that cosmic imperfection

and to glory in it.

Knowingly.

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Gosh, how excruciatingly embarrassing.

Right then. Right there we are.

Done it. Sorry.

The siren call of new technology.

- Oh, tell me about it.
- Yes. Thank you.

So I think

that this is probably a good time

to invite you all to make your
last phone call of the week,

and then all mobiles will be handed in.

It is one of the few rules that
we have here at Malham Hall.

Thank you.

He didn't say anything about
the free love like it did on the website.

I hope we've not been brought
here under false pretenses.

Oh, you've made a friend there.

- Blaze Leadbetter.
- Cosmo Jones.

Oh, "Cosmo," I like.

That's so typical of me, the whole phone thing.

Persona non grata and we haven't even started.

Hey, could have happened to anyone.

- Thank you.
- Well, I'd better make my call.

Oh, yes, of course. Yes.

- Excuse me.
- Hey, Wolf, here boy!

Do you know, was there once a pontoon here?

There was, yeah.

Partially destroyed when a boat
blew up two or three years ago.

And they never rebuilt it.

Must've been quite an explosion.

It was a big bang.

You were here when it happened?

Are you a copper?

Thought so. I can spot one at a hundred yards.

I can spot a hash plant at 20.

Hey, Wolf.

Come on, Wolf. Come on, boy.

I'm not interested in proscribed plants,

but I am interested in what happened

on the night of the explosion.

No one was that interested
in what I had to say at the time.

Yes, I found a comment in the case notes.

Said you seemed to be high during
pretty much all of your waking hours.

Yeah. Doesn't mean you don't hear things.

I think that was his point.

What did you hear exactly?

I was down below. I didn't see anything.

But I heard footsteps on the pontoon,

and I thought it was
the Lamberts returning at first.

They didn't come down to their boat that often,

but I had seen them earlier that day.

But then I heard the footsteps going back again.

So I realised, no, it couldn't have been them.

What about the explosion?

I was up on deck for that.

- An enjoyable meal?
- Excellent, thanks.

- Night!
- Good night.

Yes.

I saw Carolyn answer her phone.

Who is it?

Just when they got back on board.

Oh, wait a moment, can you?

And then a few minutes later just...

It was obvious they were both dead.

Excuse me.

Jones.

They're not keen on mobile phones.

I'll be hiding mine, handing in the spare.

So I'm not sure how easy
it's gonna be to keep in touch.

Well, if you get anything on Lucy Oliver,

tell me as soon as you can, but don't push it.

Concentrate on fitting in for now.

Yeah, you never mentioned
the inductees had to sleep in a dormitory.

Yeah, go easy on the free love.

They're a bit scary, to be honest.

England expects, Jones.

We've got an interesting session tomorrow:

"Be Your Own Tree."

Yeah, bye.

I was just looking for somewhere to hide mine.

Depriving us of our mobile phones,
it's against our human rights.

That is just for emergencies, obviously.

Absolutely.

Do you think mine could share that
nice little sleeping bag with yours?

Yeah.

There we go.

Friend of mine told me about the course.

Changed her life, but then she's
always been a bit out there.

Yeah, I heard it's pretty awesome.

But they're not perfect though.

When she was here a couple
of the Foundation regulars

had a blazing row apparently, yeah.

One of them walked out.
Just disappeared one night.

Very weird.

Right.

So do you know who was involved?

It was Freddie, I think, the woman
who runs it, and a younger one.

What was her name? I think it was Lucy.

Nice girl, apparently. But just upped and left.

Didn't say goodbye to anyone.

- Is that right?
- Apparently.

Did your friend say what the row was about?

I've no idea. She said it was
still a good week though.

But think I'll take a bit more convincing

before I commit to the Oblong way.

- Bit of a sceptic.
- Best way.

Listen, I... I've just got to make one last call.

Then I'll see you up there.

Can I help? Say...

Beautiful here, isn't it?

I like to explore new places.

Get my bearings, know where I am.

Well, we all need to know where we are.

It's Cosmo, isn't it?

- That's right.
- Wise words.

From a wise man, I think.

Maybe a bit wasted on an advertising copywriter?

Will you walk with us, copywriter?

Of course.

Yeah. There's a DCI John
Barnaby asking to see you, Ms. Crane.

Mr. Barnaby, to what do I owe the pleasure?

- It's an informal visit.
- Oh, dear.

That normally means you'll be asking me

for information I shouldn't
really be giving out.

You've seen through me straight away.

Well, I suppose the worst I can do is say no.

I'll try my luck then.

I understand Ruth Lambert is a client of yours,

and her parents were your
clients when they were alive.

You were executor of their wills.

That's correct.

There's a missing persons case

I'm looking into informally, a Lucy Oliver,

and I was hoping to get some background

about the Oblong Foundation and
their set-up at Malham Hall with Ruth.

As far as I'm concerned
everything's above board.

The Foundation is renting Malham Hall

on a short-term tenancy
agreement from Ruth, that's it.

Did you know the Lamberts well?

Can I ask what this has to do
with Lucy Oliver's disappearance?

I was going to ask what your feelings
were about the boating accident.

You think they're connected?

I'm just trying to get a feel
for the general background.

General background. Aha, I see.

For what it's worth, I was squarely in
the accident waiting to happen camp.

I'd been on the Lamberts' boat.

They didn't turn the gas off at the bottle,

and they didn't even turn it off
at the secondary valve by the cooker.

And with Carolyn's smoking...

An accident waiting to happen.

That's me.

- There you are.
- Thank you.

Your mobile will be here for collection
on the last afternoon of the course.

- Ruth.
- And if you could just sign here.

There's a registered letter
for you at the post office.

I offered to sign for it, but the postman
insisted on getting your signature.

Why are they like this?

Well, I think you should go
sooner rather than later.

But you should take someone with you.

I could go with her.

If the villagers cause any trouble,
I can give them a bit of that!

I think, actually, it's more
diplomacy we're looking for.

What about Cosmo?

Don't you think one of the family
rather than an inductee?

He'll be fine.

This is the village post office?

Yeah, if there's any trouble, just defuse it.

And you can do that, copywriter.

Now, I feel the calm in him.

Oh, no. They're the ones who're causing trouble.

Look who this is.

Spot the weirdoes.

Look, it's the tree huggers.

So where's Lucy, eh?

- I'm sorry about this.
- Where is she?

- What, under the patio?
- Just walk away.

- What you done with her?
- Freaks!

Don't ignore us!

Why don't you go back to where you came from?

You shy or something? Why can't you face us?

Go on! Stop!

Hey, where's Lucy?

- Look at the bozo.
- Freak!

- Weirdo!
- That's enough!

Dog!

He's going to let the dog loose on us.

You two again. Throw another one of those...

...and I will have you on a community order

picking up litter for the next couple of years.

Could I have a word, please, sir?

Nice to see you're keeping a low profile, Cosmo.

I've made contact with someone
who confirms Freddie and Lucy fell out.

Massive row apparently.
The next morning she was just gone.

They asked me to come down with Ruth Lambert

in case there was any trouble.

That's her. She's picking up
a registered letter.

- Call me.
- Oh, my God, what's happened?

Local village idiots, I'm afraid.

More than our fair share here.

So you won't be pressing charges then, sir?

Well, you know, if there's
another incident like this,

then I'll have to re-evaluate.

Are those my tomatoes?

Right, you'll be paying double for that lot.

I didn't realise you worked here as well.

Here during the day. Pub evenings and weekends.

That's a long week.

Yes, well, some of us weren't born
with a silver spoon in our mouths.

Right! That'll be ten pounds, please.

Yeah. I don't think so.

Do you want me to go around
and ask your dad for it?

It's up to you.

They're getting so confrontational.

Pretty good shots too.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Barnaby. And who's this?

This young fella is Sykes. He's a bit nervous.

We've got an interview with
Millie Bullard in half an hour.

Oh, we know Millie.

Many are interviewed. Few are chosen.

Well I think Sykes might need a bit
of fortifying for his ordeal ahead.

Bows gonna have to share her snack this morning.

Go on then.

Short rations, Bow.

- Claire.
- Yeah.

- The phone.
- Oh, okay, hang on one sec.

- Well, listen, good luck.
- Thank you.

Paddy's obviously run off his feet.

You know the Lamberts used
to have lunch here quite a lot.

Don't think Claire was very pleased

when Paddy barred them.

Course it's still very busy
here in the evenings.

Claire's reputation from
her old catering business.

What did the Lamberts do to get barred?

He doesn't like the idea
of serving anyone, Paddy,

so when you've got the Lamberts

who thought they owned the place,

well, it was always going to be a rocky road.

Quiet!

Sykesie, could you keep it down just a touch.

Mr. Barnaby.

And Sykes.

Do come in.

I did love my mum and dad.

I just had to get out of that place
when I was old enough.

Such a huge house, with just two
or three people in it seemed so wasteful.

Now though, with the
Foundation, it feels so right.

But there are still a lot
of memories there for me.

Those kids in the village were going on

about Lucy Oliver, weren't they?

I heard she had a row with
Freddie before she went missing.

That's not true. Lucy and Freddie
were really good friends.

Yeah, well, I always take second-hand
comments with a pinch of salt.

Better to trust your instincts, I say.

That's what Dominic always says.

"The logic of trusting your instincts."

I think Dominic has really taken to you.

I think maybe I have as well.

A little.

He's normally very calm. Bit excited.

What have you found out about the Oliver girl?

About her curious disappearance.

Did you know that there's a footpath

that runs through the Malham Hall estate?

- I didn't.
- Oh, yes.

They've always been relatively relaxed
about people walking their clogs there.

But just recently they've put up notices

asking owners to keep their dogs on a lead.

I leave you to draw your own conclusion. Leave!

A bit of trouble down in the village, was it?

Ruth said you were magnificent.

Can't argue with that.

- Did you want a shower?
- Oh, yes, all right then.

Oh, no, no, no, it's okay. I'm just finishing.

Shame. I happen to know Freddie's
going over to London tonight.

- Staying over.
- You're very interested in Freddie.

Well, it's our once only
chance to look at her room:

I want to find out a little bit more

about the Foundation before
I pledge my undying loyalty.

- How did it go?
- I'm in here.

So do we have a dog minder?

Ah, she's prepared to give Sykes a trial.

Oh, fab. A trial?

And she wants to meet
the other pack leader as well.

- That's you.
- What happened?

It was fine.

Miss Bullard says the only way
she can really get a real handle

on Sykes's personality is if she meets us both.

It went well.

There was no inappropriate
behaviour, no leg-mounting?

- None.
- And Sykes behaved himself?

I suppose it'll all be worth it.

Dominic will address you.

From the time of the Anglo-Saxon round houses,

communal sleeping was the norm.

People slept not just with their
family, but with their tribe.

This is the Oblong way for our inductees.

But, if people do need

their own space for coitus,

then love rooms are available
in the adjoining corridor.

And can I ask all inductees

observe the protocol
of the "do not disturb" signs.

So good night, one and all.

You're in there, mate.

Don't look so worried. It's not a proposition.

We just go out, pretend
we're going to the love room,

and then when the coast is
clear, nip over to Freddie's.

Okay.

Take my hand.

Got to look the part.

Here. Come on.

Hello there.

Room for a little one?

We're strictly "do not disturb."

Oh, it's not really in the spirit of things.

Sorry, mate.

It's making me feel a bit funny.

I think the coast must be clear by now.

- Which way?
- This way.

Door.

Look through the drawers.

What if someone comes and answers it?

It must be important.

I'll be right back, Butterfly.

What's happening?

Yes. Go on.

What did they say?

Right. Okay. I understand.

They can't prove that there's been
a murder if they can't produce a body.

Yeah, fine. No, listen,
Freddie, I really don't think

that you should be leaving your door unlocked.

Hm, okay.

Talk soon then, bye.

- It's locked.
- No!

- Hello?
- Hi, matey.

I'm in a bit of a sticky situation here.

- "Matey"?
- Yeah, I've got someone with me...

...and we're in a bit of a pickle.

Doesn't sound promising.

Yeah, anyway we're two storeys up,

and I don't know how we're going to get out.

Okay, this is what we're going to do.

I'm so sorry.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

About time.

Talk about hogging love room number three.

I'm quite sure he'll fit in.

And you can pick him up any time up until 8:00.

- About 7:00?
- Perfect.

Time to introduce Sykes to his new chums.

Say goodbye, Sykes.

Right, you be good.

Oh, there's no alternative
at this establishment.

- 7:00 then.
- Okay.

A magical tree, the willow.

Now, one branch separated from the mother tree

will regenerate itself if it's planted in soil

close to life-giving water.

You, you are all branches
of your own family trees.

And we are all of us a part of the tree of life.

In the moment, attached
to the past and, through us,

the the sap of future growth.

If our spirits are not free,

we are but wood on the bough.

Be your own tree.

Be your own tree.

Be your own tree. Be your own tree.

Be your own tree.

Be your own tree.

Will you just look at them.

Huh, not even going to work
at this time of the year.

- Symbolic, apparently.
- Yeah.

Now thrust it home firmly

so that it may thrive,

and put down roots.

And its body may grow, and its
limbs reach towards the heavens.

Let the Oblong Foundation
be your fertile ground.

Now, let us provide
the nutrients for your growth.

The full realisation of your potential.

Wow.

I can really feel your spiritual energy.

It is so strong.

- Can you feel anything from me?
- Uh...

I think that's a yes.

You two, you have a natural bond, I think.

The process has begun.

Ruth Lambert has asked
me to co-operate fully with you

regarding giving you details
of her parents' financial situation.

When it comes to the Oblong Foundation,

she says there really is nothing to explain.

Fair enough.

As executor of the Lamberts' will,

I discovered that they'd
been a number of cash withdrawals

over the years from their accounts.

Amounting to hundreds of thousands of pounds.

As the family lawyer,

I mentioned the possibility of accusations

of inheritance tax avoidance to Ruth.

You thought they were evading tax?

No, it was something that happened,

about 18 months before the accident

that I mentioned to Ruth.

And she thought I should mention to you.

Mention away.

Jeremy Lambert was thinking
about lending some money,

and he wanted to know the legally
binding nature of an IOU.

I told him a promissory note would
provide the best protection.

I even offered to draft one for him,

but he said they were just
thinking about it at this stage.

One or two months later
he said he'd changed his mind.

This wasn't mentioned in the case reports.

It wasn't relevant.

The explosion was an accident.

And our position was that whenever there was

a significant withdrawal of cash,
the money had gone on gambling.

That's a lot of flutters.

Indeed.

I told Carolyn they'd missed
last orders for food one evening,

and they were upset.

Told us what very special customers they were,

and how they deserved special service.

I told them, if you don't like the service,

you'd better go elsewhere, because
I don't want you around here.

And the pub's all the better for it.

Fortunately I'm financially secure enough

not to have to worry about the custom

from people like the Lamberts.

Paddy, is there any chance that
you could change the gas bottle?

Oh, hello.

Claire's doing a big barbecue at the weekend.

Likes to be prepared, don't you, my love?

Well, I don't want to run out.

You want to mind what you say.

Mr. Barnaby's re-investigating
the deaths of the Lamberts.

Anyone handy with that kind of thing
will end up on his list of suspects.

I'm not so sure about that.

There's a major difference between barbecues,

which are out in the open, and boats,

enclosed airtight spaces in which leaking gas

collects like water in a pond.

No, I think the Chief Inspector's
more likely to be interested in those

with a knowledge of leisure craft,
rather than barbecues.

Like you and me.

The difference being I didn't have
anything against the Lamberts.

Unlike some people.

Well, the two of us hate boats.

Avoid them at all costs. Don't we, love?

Yeah, we're not their biggest fans.

Do any of you know of anyone locally

who might have borrowed money from the Lamberts?

- Borrowed money?
- Oh, I think that's a bit unlikely.

Well, no, the Lamberts were pretty
good at spending on themselves,

but quite tight when it came to other people.

They owned half the village,

but I don't remember them ever buying a round.

Not bad tippers, though.

Feudal throwbacks.

Excuse me.

Jones, how's it going?

When I was trapped in Freddie's room,

I heard Dominic on
the phone saying something like,

"They can't prove she's been
murdered if they don't find a body."

Did you get the impression there was a body?

Difficult to say.

Listen, things are getting

a bit complicated down here.

What's happened?

This Ruth girl is getting very trusting,

and I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable with it.

Not going native on me are you, Jones?

She's vulnerable, sir.

She's been telling me about her parents' death

and how difficult she found coping with it.

Apparently she's put all their
stuff in an outbuilding

until she can face sorting it out.

Have you seen it?

No, it's all locked away.

Our social network session is
due to start in five minutes.

Battery's going-

ls Freddie back?

Haven't seen her.

Listen, I gotta go.

Who were you calling?

Don't you trust me, Cosmo?

This is your last call for
the social network session

starting in five minutes.

So 8:30 on the fifth, table for 10.

Wonderful, see you then. Bye.

Oh, I forgot to take a deposit.

Oh, I'm sure they'll turn up.

We're not booked up anyway so it doesn't matter.

You all right?

Oh, yes, I'm fine.

Absolutely fine.

You don't think mentioning about boats

and how we didn't like them,

you don't think that sounded a little defensive?

Paddy, it was an accident.

Well, that DCI doesn't seem to think so.

And everyone knows I didn't
get on with the Lamberts.

You and several dozen other people.

So what?

You're right.

Embrace your fellow students,

and don't strain from their imperfections.

Keep an eye on him.

But each spirit will be free,

so we must move on to a new cluster.

We will honour and respect the real you.

Chief Inspector Barnaby, Causton CID.

I need to speak to Ruth Lambert.

Actually, Freddie deals with all our inquiries,

and she's not here at the moment.

Isn't it up to Ruth?

I thought personal responsibility

was what the Oblong Foundation was all about.

Honour and respect.

Gain strength and move on.

If you don't want to speak to the police officer

without Freddie present,
that's your prerogative.

I would like someone present.

- Would you mind?
- No problem.

Our spirit is refreshed as we
embrace our imperfections.

Has my solicitor been helpful?

She told me you were looking into
the deaths of my parents again.

She has. And we appreciate your co-operation.

I was never really sure
about the coroner's verdict.

I could never have got through it at all

without the support of the Foundation.

Dominic and Freddie have been fantastic.

Well, there's a lot to sort out.

Practical stuff as much as anything.

Oh, I couldn't do any of that.

I just put Mum and Dad's stuff
in one of the old outbuildings.

Is that right?

Do you think I could have a look

at your parents' things?

Are the personal papers here?

Some. All the financial
stuff went to the solicitor.

She was trying to cut down.

There were still certain things she still
couldn't do without a cigarette though.

Having a drink
and socialising were the toughest.

And talking on the telephone.

She couldn't have a phone
conversation without lighting up.

Couldn't do it.

Do you... Do you have your
mother's old mobile phone number?

I'll just be a couple of minutes.

- Mother's mobile phone number?
- Call me.

I can't. My battery's gone dead.

All right, meet me on
the footpath by the river...

- ...tomorrow morning at 7:00.
- Yes, sir.

I just need a phone number
from Ruth, and then I'm done.

Thank you for your co-operation.

I'm really beginning to get the vibe now.

That last session was bang on.

Respect the real you. Respect the real other.

Hang on. Totty alert, 3:00.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

I was thinking I'm not quite
ready for the day to end,

and I was wondering

if you'd like to spend some time with me.

Nice outfit.

So why all the interest in the parents' stuff?

Do you think they were murdered?

Not sure.

But I can see a way it could've been done now.

If whoever it was knew about
Carolyn's smoking habits...

Oh, Sykes! Here, Sykesie!

Day two with his minder. I
don't want him looking like a mud rat.

- Sykes!
- Her smoking habits?

Whoever it was would have
gone onto the Lamberts' boat,

loosened the gas tube to the cooker,

and made sure that the gas was
turned on at the bottle, then waited.

All they had to do was phone Carolyn's mobile

as she got onboard,

knowing that she wouldn't be able
to talk without lighting up.

Boom. It would explain why they never
found any kind of remote detonator.

The near perfect crime.

But the person with the biggest
motive would be your new girlfriend.

Oh, she propositioned me last night.

Oh, I didn't do anything.

But it's doing my head in.

Well, she's unlikely to be the murderess

since she put us on to her mum's compulsive

"lighting up on the phone" habit.

But perhaps Lucy discovered something

about the death of the Lamberts,

and that's why she disappeared.

I don't actually think there's anything more

to find out about Lucy, sir.

What I overheard Dominic saying on the phone

doesn't mean they killed her.

They're worried other people will blame them.

Doesn't mean there's a body.

Oh, my God!

I think perhaps you should stay,

at least until I've had this identified.

Hi. How you doing?

A bit hurt, to be honest.

A bit wounded in the pride department.

But I had really good dreams last night though.

- Did you have good dreams?
- Yeah.

And you know, the fact that you
asked us to wait last night,

well, it just makes me all
the more sure about you.

I won't take no for an answer tonight though.

I think you've pulled.

Hi, Blaze. You in a good place, today?

Oh, yeah, uber. Uber good.

It's basically a forum, an opportunity
for people to feed back

their experience in a week.

Just in time for roll call.

You'll have to take it yourself.

Why? What's happened?

- I'll join you in a minute.
- Freddie?

We'll be unmasking an imposter.

Of course we all like to make
the most of ourselves,

the well-cut suit that flatters
the figure of a gentleman,

and ladies who enjoy the benefits

that a good lift-and-separate bra has to offer.

But for me I've finally decided

I'm more Bruce Willis than Arthur Scargill.

I'm finally being my own me.

Being my own tree.

Be your own tree. Be your own tree.

Be your own tree.

Be your own tree.

Now, not everyone here is being as honest

about who they are.

We have an imposter in our midst. Oh, yes.

Yeah, Freddie has been in London,

trying to persuade a certain tabloid newspaper

not to put out

a very negative story about us.

And she has discovered that one of you

is not who you say you are.

But before Freddie returns

to reveal which one of you
is the tabloid journalist,

you have a brief opportunity

to be honest with us.

What?

Blaze?

Are you researching this story
for a national newspaper?

I've been trying to discover the truth

about what happened to Lucy Oliver.

Do you have a problem with that?

- Traitor!
- Yeah?

Yeah yeah, well I'm not the only imposter here,

because there's a private
detective in our midst,

investigating a disappearance as well.

Yeah and he is right here.

Yeah, because the Olivers told me.

- Traitor!
- Say it's not true.

Wait, wait wait wait wait.

- Lucy?
- Freddie's dead.

It's okay. It's okay.

- Traitor, shame on you!
- Stay where you are.

Back off! I'm a police officer. Please!

Lucy, it's okay. Come on. Come with me.

It's okay. It's all right.

Dominic?

Is she dead?

She is.

I was staying at a friend's place in London,

getting my head together.

Freddie kept sending me these emails.

I didn't reply to any.

What were the emails about?

She wanted me to get in touch
with my mum and dad.

Talking about some tabloid story
that was going to be published,

about the Oblong Foundation,
suggesting I was dead

and how the Foundation
had something to do with it.

So why didn't you get in touch
with your parents, Lucy?

I don't know. It's just...

Lucy, you had a row with
Freddie the night before you left.

Is that right?

What was it that caused the row?

You know that Freddie and I were
having a physical relationship?

Go on.

One evening I let myself into
Freddie's room to surprise her,

and I found her

counting money on the bed,

loads of it.

With the safe open behind her.

- What's this?
- You should've knocked.

I thought you said it was
a non-profit-making organisation.

I thought any profits you
did make went to charity.

They do, some of them.

Obviously we have to consider
our own financial security.

This a bit more than "financial security."

That's thousands and thousands of pounds.

Don't be naive, Lucy, darling.

I couldn't believe it.

You mentioned a safe?

It was right there.

Sir.

I don't suppose you have any idea
who might know the combination?

Sorry.

Okay. I think your parents
would like to see you.

I'll take her down.

Good to see you, Lucy.

Thanks. And you.

Mind the tape, miss.

A possible financial motive do you think?

Any surprises?

Time of death, minutes before
the body was discovered.

Quarter of an hour max.

Which would give everyone in the barn an alibi.

What about Lucy?

Oh, she had nothing to do with it.

I'm 99% certain.

Do you still want me to analyze
the bones you found?

Did you happen to notice whether
they were human at all?

Spare rib of pork.

A picnic, barbecue I should think.

Don't you dare try to tell me
you were just doing your job.

Ben, can you leave this to me, please?

You had an undercover police officer
here. What was he doing?

I think you know we were concerned
about Lucy's disappearance.

And you were so right about that, weren't you?

I need to ask if either of you know

the combination to the safe
in Freddie's bedroom.

The safe? It was a robbery?

We don't know. Opening the safe could tell us.

Well, I have no idea.
Freddie dealt with all that.

I didn't even know the safe
existed until Freddie found it.

Well, Freddie definitely knew the combination,

because Lucy saw her with the safe open.

Oh, I know she worked it out.

She showed me what was inside.

Would you mind if I spoke to Ruth privately?

What was in the safe?

Quite a lot of money. And gold sovereigns.

- And documents.
- What documents?

I asked Freddie to deal with them.

I couldn't face it at the time.

And Freddie was good
at all that financial stuff.

It would have been useful
if you'd mentioned the safe

when we spoke about your parents before.

None of the contents were
included in the estate, so I...

I thought it best not to.

Did Freddie tell you how she managed to open it?

I gave her all our birth dates.

She thought they'd be worth trying,

because they'd used mine for the burglar alarm,

but she didn't crack it straight away.

She asked me about other
numbers they might have used.

It took her a couple of days.

Could you do something for me?

Could you write down the birth dates
of yourself and your parents

and any other numbers you
might have given to Freddie?

Any car registration numbers, phone numbers.

It was a while ago.

This may well help us
identify Freddie's murderer.

And if your parents were murdered as well,

which I think they were,

it'll be their murderer too.

One last thing: I understand you
received a registered letter recently.

Who was it from?

It was from Mr. Oliver.

He was asking if I knew anything
about Lucy, where she was. I didn't.

I'm sorry to interrupt, sir.

You were really good. You know that?

You totally took me in.

I don't think Detective Sergeant
Jones took advantage of you

as much as he might have done.

I know that because he told me how uncomfortable

he was with the situation.

- Can I go now please?
- You can go.

Mr. Oliver would like to take Lucy home now.

She needs a change of clothing.

Just keep us informed
if she wants to go anywhere.

Thank you.

What did Ruth say, sir?

She confirms Lucy's story.

The safe was full of money and gold coins,

all part of the inheritance tax avoidance.

But I also think it's possible
that the identity of our murderer

is in there as well.

How's that, sir?

I think the Lamberts lent money to somebody.

And avoiding paying them back

could have been the motive for their murders.

If the IOU was in the safe and Freddie found it,

it could be why she was murdered too.

The question is whether it has now been removed.

Do we know what the loan was for?

No. Just that it was kept very secret

for some reason.

Lucy...

Trust the real you.

We could try them all backwards.

What I don't understand is
why didn't Ruth know anything

about the safe and the combination.

You think she's lying?

No, I don't. But could there have
been a clue in the will perhaps?

I wonder if Ruth would have a copy.

We could ask her.

All right. Give it a try.

Me?

If you're worried, I could have a go.

No, no, no, it's fine.

I'm sure it's here somewhere.

I'm sorry about Freddie.

We had no idea it was going to happen.

It's sad that we met the way we did.

For a while there, I thought it
might have been the real thing.

I suppose once I've given you this,

you'll have got all you need from me.

And we'll be able to go our separate ways.

Ruth, Ruth, I'm sorry we met
the way we did as well.

Broken. Can't be mended.

Shame, but there we are.

Sir, sir, I think we've got something.

Freddie asked to see the will as well.

- And it looks like there is a clue in it.
- Tell me.

My parents weren't at all religious

but they included a line in the will

which I thought was odd when I first read it.

"Although we leave our daughter
wealthy in material terms,

"we want to remind her that
she'll be safe with the gift

she received when she first entered the church."

Baptism. Do you remember the date?

And that was a question Freddie asked her.

My parents always made a point of telling me

that I was baptised one month
to the day after I was born.

The fifth of the sixth...

'81.

Apparently Lucy's not a suspect,

despite being covered in the poor woman's blood.

Putting her parents through hell like that.

Two months, was it?

I think it's got something
to do with their not being able

to come to terms with her sexuality.

Punishing them.

Or because they were right about the Obbies.

A parent can do almost nothing worse

than be right in circumstances like that.

A template for some kind
of confidentiality agreement.

And a tenancy agreement for Malham Hall

but no promissory note.

If someone managed to get into the safe,

would they have just take the promissory note

and not the cash and the gold sovereigns?

It does seem unlikely.

In which case, if there's
no promissory note here,

there's no evidence there ever was one.

So we're back to square one.

"Legalcontractsforyoudot.com."

Standard form.

Downloaded.

Just as you might download

a standard template for a promissory note

if you didn't want to involve your solicitor.

Did your parents have a computer?

So you think someone murdered my parents

to get out of paying a loan back?

I'm wondering whether Freddie
found the paperwork in the safe.

Perhaps she didn't mention it to you

because she decided that she could
use it in some way herself.

But Freddie would've told me

if she'd found evidence that somebody
had murdered my parents.

At the time, 18 months ago,

everyone thought your parents'
death had been an accident.

But that all changed when
it became public knowledge

that I was re-examining the case.

Then the person with the forgotten debt

would no longer just look lucky.

They'd suddenly have a big
motive for killing your parents.

And Freddie would have been
the only one who knew about it.

Okay. Try searching for "promissory" or "IOU."

Two files.

Try the more recent.

Would an unsigned computer
document be valid in court, sir?

The witness's name is there for a reason.

Try his number.

If he confirms the veracity
of the document, it'll be admissible.

Thank you, Ruth. We'll be in touch.

Detective Sergeant, Jones Causton CID.

I'd like to speak to Mr. Max Fuller, please.

I see. Can you tell me
what the circumstances were?

The date. Get the date.

Do you know what date this
was when this happened?

Okay. Thank you. I'll call you back.

He was stabbed to death at his flat.
Sounds like an aggravated burglary.

It was the night of the boating accident.

And the killer was never apprehended.

- No.
- I think it's time they were.

I don't see what Claire's old invoices
have got to do with anything.

A catering job that Claire did for the Lamberts

three and a bit years ago on their boat.

She could have learned
everything she needed to know

about the gas system to make an explosion.

Don't be ridiculous. Claire?

And she was probably told where
they kept the keys in the cockpit,

so she could get onboard to start cooking
some time before they arrived.

Which was how, 18 months later,

she got into the boat so easily
to access the gas system.

You weren't entirely truthful when you told
me you were financially secure.

You you had no money to speak
of when you met Claire, did you?

It was she who produced
the money for the pub lease,

borrowed from the Lamberts.

And when you barred the Lamberts from the pub,

they wanted their money back.

No, no, no, you're totally wrong.

That was her savings. No, you're totally wrong.

She'll tell you. She's probably
in the garden right now.

I'll go get her.

Claire? Claire?

She would've told me. Why wouldn't she tell me?

Sir.

Claire?!

Stay where you are.

- What are you doing?
- Paddy, I really mean it.

Paddy, stay still.

There's enough gas in here
to cause quite a bang.

So you killed the Lamberts?

And Freddie and a man called Max Fuller.

You know about Max. I'm impressed.

His name was on the promissory note.

How many copies of that thing were there?

It was on the Lamberts' laptop.

Max Fuller was the witness to the contract,

and once the Lamberts were dead,

the last person left who knew about the loan.

One thing I don't understand is why the Lamberts

were so willing to bankroll the pub.

After the mess the last
lot of tenants made of it,

it looked like it was going to close.

They auditioned you on the boat.

They had a couple of friends down from London.

The Lamberts had already tasted
my cooking at another local event,

and decided they wanted me to take over the pub.

They lent me the 85 grand
on the condition that no-one,

not even my own husband, was to know about it.

Because the money came from the secret hoard

they were stashing away
to avoid inheritance tax.

It was all going so fine

until you barred them.

And then they demanded their money back.

Couldn't you have borrowed
the money from somewhere else

to pay the Lamberts back?

No, I did.

I found a bank to lend me the whole amount.

I was going to meet them on the boat,

exchange a bankers draft
for the promissory note,

when the bank changed their mind.

Don't move!

Please don't move!

I phoned the Lamberts
and I asked them for more time,

but they refused, and they said
they'd be taking me to court.

So you killed them.

Well, I hadn't intended to initially.

I went onto the boat that
evening when they were out,

to see if they'd left
the promissory note onboard.

It was only after I'd found it

that I thought about disconnecting the gas pipe.

- Night.
- Good night.

- Yes?
- About our agreement.

- I wondered if you might consider...
- Oh, wait a minute can you?

I'll wait, Carolyn.

What's that smell?

And that meant the witness,
Max Fuller, had to die.

They used a London business
acquaintance of Jerry's

because they didn't want any risk

of whoever it was mentioning it to locals.

But his address was on the document.

I had to do it straight away,

before he heard about the accident

and could mention the loan to anyone.

Yes?

I'm really sorry to bother you.
I don't know if you remember me.

My name's Claire Powell.
I'm a friend of the Lamberts'.

Yes, of course. This is a surprise.

Well, my car has been stolen.

- How awful.
- I'm so sorry to bother you.

Not at all. Come on up.

It's the third floor.

You could probably do with a drink.

Who are you?

I don't understand.

I know.

You always wanted to be in charge, in control.

But you never really were, were you, Bubs?

You never really did anything except talk.

You always talked well. I liked that.

But I had to fix things
so we could go on pretending.

And Freddie?

She said that she wouldn't mention the loan

to anyone if I helped her out.

But I had to get her copy of the IOU

and make sure there weren't any more.

I'd told her I had the identity of an imposter

and that I wanted the copy of
the IOU in exchange for the name.

She thought it was a journalist,

but the name I was actually going
to give her was Sergeant Jones.

I'd recognised him outside
the post office with Ruth.

The only copy.

May I?

Thank you.

So the imposter's name?

I knew everyone would be at roll call,

but in the event I was just seconds
away from being seen.

Lucy was coming up the front
stairs as I went down the back.

And I ran home through the woods.

Paddy hadn't even woken up.

It was perfect.

So what now, Claire?

Well, I'd really like to let you out,

but but if I open the doors again...

there's not gonna be enough
gas for this to work.

- At least let Paddy out.
- No, no.

What would I do?

Where would I go?

No, no, no, I'll stick with Claire.

Go out with a bang.

Actually I don't think there's enough
gas in the room to cause an explosion.

I don't think you changed
the gas bottle, Paddy, did you?

No, that's where you're wrong.

He did because he told me he did.

So thank God Paddy was a lazy,
good-for-nothing husband.

Everybody has their place in this world.

Come on.

Mr. Barnaby, Mrs. Barnaby.

Afternoon.

Just keeping my sister up to
speed on what happened today.

George is very good at keeping me up to date

with all the confidential stuff.

Yes, thank you, Millie.

I hear you and your sergeant
had a pretty close call.

I blame it all on George.

None of this would've come
to light without his intervention.

I hope Sykes didn't disgrace himself.

Oh, he did make some amorous
advances towards two of my bitches,

which wasn't the best of starts.

But I think from Sykes's point
of view it was top banana.

Consider him part of the pack.

Oh, fantastic news. Thank you.

Oh, we're going for a walk.

Come on, Tour. Come on, Fidget. George.

- Good job, by the way.
- Thanks.

And I don't think I thanked
you for putting in a word.

Oh, call it a parting gift.

I've decided I'm going to do some more fishing.

Like Torn. He suggested a holiday in Ireland.

Guinness and trout, sounds good.

Tom was a hard act to follow.

- You're getting there.
- Come on George.