Original subtitles

TOOKIE BAH WABA!

HAO!

IKI BAH BAH.

HA HA HA.

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

MAKA MAKA!

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

HA HA HA!

AH, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d

d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d

d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d

d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d

d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d

d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d

OOOCHA! CHI-KA!

d MIKI MIKI COCONUT d

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

Lilo: NOW PAY ATTENTION, STITCH.

TO FIT IN ON EARTH,

YOU NEED TO BE OBSESSED WITH HOW YOU LOOK.

PEOPLE COME HERE FROM ALL OVER

TO SOAK IN THIS MUD.

THEY WANT TO BE LIKE PIGS.

GO AHEAD.

UGH! WAH! BLEH!

Stitch: AAH! HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

HA! DAKA CHIGA!

STOP RIGHT THERE!

OH, JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS!

YEAH. YOU REALLY NEED TO SWEEP UP ALL THAT HAIR.

UGH! NOT THE HAIR! THE MUD!

Stitch: AGAGA!

Woman: AND STAY OUT!

BOY, WHAT A GROUCH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE MADE US CLEAN UP ALL THAT MUD.

THAT IS THE FIFTH GROUCH THIS WEEK,

AND IT'S ONLY MONDAY.

Man: AAH! AAH! [CLIPPING]

MY HAIR! MY HAIR IS GONE!

SO? MINE'S BEEN GONE FOR 20 YEARS.

NO! THAT THING JUMPED ON MY HEAD

AND ATE ALL MY HAIR! THERE IT GOES!

HA HA! TA-DA!

COOL! A MUTANT HAIRBALL.

NAGA. COUSIN.

OH. THAT'S COOL, TOO.

Men and women: OHH! AAH! MY HAIR!

UHH! OHH! UHH!

AAH!

WHOO-WHOO! HEH HEH HEH!

Bellhops: OHH! OW!

Stitch: UNH! HUH?

Lilo: WHOA!

I HATE MONDAYS, BROTHER.

HMM.

YOU LOOK LIKE A HAIRY HAIRBALL.

AND YOU SEEM TO LIKE TO EAT HAIR,

AND YOU'RE MADE OF HAIR,

SO I'M GONNA CALL YOU--

HAIRY.

NO! CLIP.

HUH? THAT'S HER NAME.

CLIP.

YEAH, YEAH.

BLITSNAK! IT'S THE HUMAN JUVENILE AND THE ABOMINATION.

AND I WAS SO CLOSE!

HEH HEH! THOUGH IT IS CUTE HOW SHE ALWAYS

NAMES THE CREATURES. [COMMUNICATOR BEEPS]

Dr. Hamsterviel: GANTU!

DID I ACTUALLY HEAR YOU EXPRESS AMUSEMENT

AT LOSING ANOTHER EXPERIMENT?!

DR. HAMSTERVIEL!

UH, UH, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING?

OH, LONG ENOUGH

TO REGRET EVER LAYING MY RODENT RETINAS ON YOU,

YOU FECKLESS FISH FACE!

UH...

STOP WONDERING WHAT "FECKLESS" MEANS AND GET THAT EXPERIMENT!

NOW!

HUMPH! I'LL SHOW HIM WHO'S FECKLESS.

Jumba: AAH!

KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME.

CUTE LITTLE CLIP?

IS NOT CUTE! IS EXPERIMENT NUMBER 177

AND IS VERY DANGEROUS.

SHE DOESN'T LOOK DANGEROUS.

AH, BUT LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING.

YOU SEE, IT WAS MANY YEARS AGO,

WHEN MY HEAD WAS OVERFLOWING WITH EVIL IDEAS

AND HEALTHY, LUXURIANT HAIR FOLLICLES.

I HAD DEVISED EXPERIMENT 177--

THE UBURNIUM EATER.

UBURNIUM IS THE MOST POWERFUL

AND ECONOMICAL FUEL SOURCE IN ALL OF UNIVERSE.

MY UBURNIUM EATER WOULD SPARK

AN INSURMOUNTABLE FUEL CRISIS.

UNFORTUNATELY, IN THE LANGUAGE OF KWILTIKWAN,

WORD FOR "UBURNIUM" IS SAME AS WORD FOR "HAIR."

I DID NOT REALIZE MISTAKE UNTIL TOO LATE.

I HAD ACCIDENTALLY CREATED THE HAIR EATER.

HA HA HA!

[BURPS]

COOL! I MEAN, THAT'S AWFUL.

YES, AWFUL.

AND EVERY DAY, IT HAS MADE ME FULL OF ANGER!

AHA! I KNEW THERE HAD TO BE A REASON

WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS SUCH A GRUMPY GUS.

IF YOU WANT TO GROW LUXURIANT LOCKS

YOU NEED TO UNCLENCH YOUR HAIR FOLLICLES.

RELAX! ENJOY LIFE!

GOOD IDEA.

LET'S BEGIN BY DISASSEMBLING 177.

NO! YOU CAN'T!

IT'S NOT CLIP'S FAULT SHE EATS HAIR.

WE JUST NEED TO FIND THE ONE PLACE WHERE CLIP BELONGS.

RIGHT?

UH-HUH.

WE KNOW THIS PLACE HAS A REAL PROBLEM WITH HAIR.

THERE'S MORE HAIR HERE THAN ANY PLACE

I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

AND WITH YOUR HELP EATING IT ALL UP,

MAYBE THAT LADY

WON'T BE SUCH A GROUCH ANYMORE, TOO.

OHH! MYRTLE EDMONDS!

AND YUKI, TERESA, AND ELENA!

HEY, WEIRDLO.

I DIDN'T KNOWYOU GOT YOUR HAIR CUT HERE.

I DON'T.

OF COURSE YOU DON'T.

THEY'D NEVER EVEN LET YOU IN THE DOOR WITH THAT MESS.

I LIKE MY HAIR!

YOU WOULD.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY THIS.

YOU NEED IT MORE THAN I DO.

WOW! FOR ME?

"HAIR CONDITIONER--

FOR TAMING WILD, UNRULY HAIR?!"

HEY!

DON'T BE JEALOUS.

NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE PERFECT HAIR LIKE ME.

ESPECIALLY NOT YOU.

Girls: YEAH!

[LAUGHING]

MYRTLE NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED.

YEAH. ENH!

EEK-AH.

CHK! BLACK CAT TO MUTANT DOG.

BLACK CAT TO MUTANT DOG. CHK!

CHK! COME IN, MUTANT DOG! CHK!

STITCH! THAT'S YOU!

WHO, ME?

WHEN I SAY, "BLACK CAT,"

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER, "MUTANT DOG."

IT'S CAT BURGLAR CODE.

BLACK CAT TO...

MUTANT DOG.

Lilo: HOW'S IT LOOK? CHK!

Stitch: YAKA TAK.

COME ON! SAY IT RIGHT.

OK, OK.

CHK! ALL CLEAR. CHK!

PERFECT!

OH! UM, I MEAN...

CHK! COMMENCE CAT BURGLAR CREEP.

[WHISTLES] AND MYRTLE CALLS ME A WEIRDO?

Stitch: ACHI KABA!

WE'LL GET YOU TO YOUR NEW HOME

TOMORROW, CLIP. I PROMISE.

BUT TONIGHT,

ENJOY A GOURMET MEAL

ON ONE VERY EXPENSIVE HAIRDO.

THE LITTER BOX IS CLEAN. CHK!

OHH! EKATA! CHK! OOF!

HI, MRS. MYRTLE'S MOM.

IT'S ME--LILO.

WHOA, OH!

AND STITCH. HE'S MY DOG.

OH, YES. MYRTLE'S STRANGE LITTLE FRIEND FROM HULA SCHOOL.

OH, AND YOUR MUTANT PET FROM OUTER SPACE!

OHH! OH, I'M JUST KIDDING!

HEH! I KNOW A DOG WHEN I SEE ONE.

HEH HEH! I SUPPOSE I SHOULD ASK

WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN MY DAUGHTER'S ROOM.

OH, UH, I WAS JUST DROPPING OFF A, UH...

BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR MYRTLE.

OHH! WHAT?! OH, MY GOSH, IS THAT TODAY?

NO, NO. I MEAN,

SHE HAS ONE COMING UP SOMETIME THIS YEAR, RIGHT?

OHH! OH, WHOO!

YES, YES, SOMETIME THIS YEAR. THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR.

OH, HOW LUCKY MYRTLE IS

TO HAVE SUCH A DEAR, SWEET FRIEND.

WELL, WE HAVE TO BE LEAVING NOW.

COME ON, STITCH...PUPPY.

BARKY BARK!

Lilo: "THAT NIGHT,

"THE BEAUTIFUL QUEEN LOLI

AND HER CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD TITCH--"

THAT'S YOU. OH!

"COULD HEAR THE MYRTLE BEAST'S SCREAMS OF TERROR

AS ITS RUSTY RED HAIRDO WAS EATEN AWAY."

"EVEN THOUGH THEY COULDNOT HEAR

"THE MYRTLE BEAST BEING PUNISHED,

"THEY KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING.

"IT WAS THE BEST PLAN

"ANYONE HAD EVER COME UP WITH,

AND NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG."

Stitch: NAGA.

HA HA HA!

[COUGHS]

EW!

NOW, NOW, LET'S NOT MAKE THIS DIFFICULT.

HEY, WATCH IT! CALM DOWN.

WHAT IN THE DICKENS IS GOING ON--AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH!

OH!

Clip: HEH HEH HEH!

AAH! OHH...

YOU'RE FAST FOR A FUR BALL, BUT I'M FASTER.

AHH! COME HERE!

HMM!

[CLIP CLIPPING]

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! HA HEH HEH HA HA!

GRR!

HAIRBALL, I AM GANTU, CAPTAIN--

AHEM--FORMER-- OF THE GALACTIC ALLIANCE.

CONQUEROR OF THE PESKIMERMISH MILITIA,

AND VANGUARD COMMANDER OF BLACK HOLE OPS.

YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME!

UH, I MEAN, I, UH, AHEM,

MISSED MY BUS.

AAH! AAH!

OH, BLITSNAK.

HURRY UP, STITCH. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MYRTLE

WITH HER NEW NONHAIRDO.

HUH? YOU HAVE HAIR?!

YEAH, BUT HER MOM DOESN'T.

YOUR MOM?

YEAH. I HAD A SLEEPOVER AT TERESA'S LAST NIGHT,

AND WHILE I WAS GONE, SOMETHING SCARED MOM SO BAD,

ALL HER HAIR FELL OUT.

SHE SAYS A BIG FISH FACE GUY

TRIED TO BREAK IN THROUGH MY WINDOW.

GANTU.

AND THEN SHE SAYS A FLYING YELLOW FUR BALL ATTACKED HER.

CLIP.

OH, NO.

THIS IS BAD POI.

Pleakley: THIS SPECTRAL DIFFRACTION STYLE

IS VERY POPULAR ON EARTH.

PARTICULARLY AMONG AVID FOLLOWERS OF TEAM SPORTS.

THERE! WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I LOOK LIKE LARGE FURRY LOLLIPOP.

Lilo: JUMBA! PLEAKLEY!

I PUT CLIP IN MYRTLE'S HOUSE

BECAUSE SHE NEEDED TO BE PUNISHED,

BUT INSTEAD, CLIP GOT HER MOM,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

YOU GOING TO A FOOTBALL GAME?

I AM TRYING FOR NEW LOOK.

YOU LIKE?

PYUH! IKKA PATOOKA!

NO MORE WITH WIG!

OK, THEN. I READ ON THE INTERGALACTIC NET

THAT HAIR GROWTH CAN BE STIMULATED BY VIGOROUS MASSAGE.

OW! ACK! NOT FOOT MASSAGE!

WHAT GOOD IS GROWING NEW HAIR

IF CLIP IS OUT THERE JUST WAITING TO MAKE YOU BALD AGAIN?

I AM NOT BALD!

I HAVE 3 BEAUTIFUL, LUXURIANT HAIRS.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA!

ALL RIGHT! I WILL HELP CAPTURE 177.

Lilo: THIS IS WHERE WE LEFT CLIP.

IS BEST IF WE SURPRISE 177.

I WILL TAKE THE FRONT WAY. YOU TAKE THE BACK.

HA! GOT YOU, YOU LITTLE HAIRBALL.

AAH! AAH! AAH!

SO YOU'RE NOT MAD AT US FOR SCARING YOU LIKE THAT?

OH, NO. ACTUALLY, IT WAS QUITE EXHILARATING

IN A FRIGHTENING,

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON" SORT OF WAY.

I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR.

DON'T BE SORRY. I LOVE IT.

IF YOU EVER FIND THAT LITTLE FUR BALL YOU'RE LOOKING FOR,

I'D LIKE TO THANK IT.

YOU MEAN... OHH! OH.

YOU'RE NOT UPSET ABOUT ALL YOUR HAIR GETTING EATEN AWAY?

OH, NOT AT ALL.

IT ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE THE REAL ME.

AREN'T YOU AFRAID YOU'LL GET TEASED?

OH, NO.

REMEMBER, A HAIRCUT DOESN'T MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE.

YOU MAKE A HAIRCUT WHAT IT IS.

I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY BEFORE.

WELL, IF YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF,

THAT'S ALL THAT COUNTS.

I WISH I COULD BE HAPPIER WITH MYSELF'S NEARLY BALD HEAD.

WHY? YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFULLY SHAPED HEAD.

OH! YOU THINK SO?

OH, YES.

THOSE 3 HAIRS SUIT YOU PERFECTLY.

THEY MAKE YOU QUITE HANDSOME.

JUMBA JOOKIBA, EVIL GENIUS, HANDSOME?

HO HO! AHH!

THAT MAKES ME HAPPY.

OHH! I--I'M HAPPY!

MY HEAD IS NO LONGER FEELING CLENCHED.

I FEEL--

WHOA! THAT'S WHAT I CALL

A SPONTANEOUS... SOMETHING OR OTHER.

MY HAIR! IT HAS RETURNED!

I...HAVE...

HAIR!

INSIDE VOICE, UNCLE JUMBA.

ACCORDING TO MY READINGS,

EXPERIMENT 177 HAS BEEN THROUGH HERE.

WE ARE HOT ON TRIAL.

DOES THAT MEAN CLIP'S NEARBY?

NO. MEANS IS TIME FOR HAIR REGIMEN.

BRUSHING TO KEEP IT HEALTHY,

EXTRA U.V. PROTECTOR TO PREVENT SUN DAMAGE,

LOTION FOR SCALP AND ROOTS,

YUMECTIN TO KEEP CURLS BOUNCY.

[CHITTERING]

IKITA!

COOL! NAKED SQUIRREL!

NO HAIR?! SOMETHING IS TELLING ME THAT 177

IS VERY, VERY CLOSE.

YARGH!

NAGA!

ARGH! RUN! RUN, RUN, RUN!

OH, NO! HAKA TAGA!

WOW! CLIP GOT BIG!

REAL BIG.

YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY HAIR,

YOU... EATER OF HAIR.

OOF!

MY HAIR? IS ALL RIGHT?

AH, AH, OH! IS ALL RIGHT.

WOW, STITCH! THANKS.

YOU SAVED US FROM A BUZZ CUT.

OH. SORRY ABOUT YOUR BUTT, THOUGH.

HAKA TABA!

YOU CAN WEAR THIS UNTIL IT GROWS BACK.

JUKABA.

HA! NOW WHO IS THE IKKA PATOOKA?

HA HA HA--OUCH!

OOF! UNH!

AND NOW IS THE TIME WE TEACH YOU

HOW TO DANCE THE TRADITIONAL HAWAIIAN HULA.

ANY VOLUNTEERS? DON'T BE SHY.

AAH! OOF!

WE HAVE A VOLUNTEER!

HEY! IT'S THAT GUY

WHO MISSED THE BUS.

MAKE HIM DO THE FIRE DANCE, TOO!

BUT I NEED TO--

OH, BLITSNAK.

[HULA MUSIC PLAYING]

NAGA HUGATA.

I DON'T SEE HER ANYWHERE.

OHH!

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

WHO KNEW LIFE WOULD BE FULL OF SUCH HARD LESSONS?

LIKE NEVER USE A HAIR-EATING MONSTER ON SOMEONE

WHEN YOU'RE UNHAPPY WITH YOURSELF.

EH! ALL THIS STRESS IS NOT GOOD FOR HAIR.

IS GETTING SPLIT ENDS, GROWING WILD AND UNRULY.

HERE! TRY THIS.

"FOR TAMING WILD AND UNRULY HAIR."

TAMING WILD AND UNRULY HAIR!

THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO USE ON CLIP.

SHE'S NOTHING BUT WILD AND UNRULY HAIR.

EH!

BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WENT.

LET US ACT LOGICAL.

IF I WERE A HAIR-EATING BEAST,

I WOULD TRY TO FIND SOMEPLACE WITH MORE HAIR

THAN EVER HAVING SEEN IN WHOLE LIFE.

BUT WHERE COULD SUCH PLACE BE?

Guests: AAH!

HELLO, POLICE?

NO, IT'S NOT A BURGLARY.

NO, IT'S NOT A FIRE, EITHER. IT'S--

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT!

IT'S A BAD HAIR DAY? HELLO? HELLO?!

HELP!

SOMEONE IS CALLING FOR HELP?

QUICK! TO THE HAIR CARE PRODUCTS.

ROCK THE HULA, STITCH!

TOOKIE BAH WABA!

HA HA HA HA HA!

[TRILLS]

CLIP, YOU'VE BEEN A BAD GIRL.

BUT I THINK I'M MORE TO BLAME THAN YOU.

I SHOULD'VE NEVER TRIED TO USE YOU AGAINST MYRTLE.

[COOS]

IS IT SAFE?

NO MORE WITH THE HAIR DESTRUCTION?

NOPE. THE CONDITIONER TAMED HER.

NOW SHE JUST NEEDS A HOME.

HEY, YO! I NEED A NEW DO,

SOMETHING THAT, LIKE, CAPTURES THE REAL ME, YOU KNOW?

Lilo: CLIP, NO!

HA HA!

AWESOME! NOW, THIS IS THE REAL ME.

THANKS, LITTLE BRO.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

CLIP HAS A SPECIAL TALENT.

RIGHT ON!

CLIP HAS A KNACK

FOR FINDING YOUR ONE PERFECT HAIRDO.

IS MY TURN NEXT.

YOU WANT TO GIVE UP YOUR BIG AFRO?

EH, HAIRDO IS NOT REAL ME.

IT SCREAMS SEVENTIES FUNK REVIEW,

NOT EVIL GENIUS SCIENTIST.

177, COME HERE. DO YOUR STUFF.

All: OHH!

HA HA HA HA!

AH! I AM FEELING LIKE ME AGAIN.

THANK YOU, 177.

MM-HMM! HEH HEH!

YOU MAY HAVE BEEN A GROUCH BEFORE,

BUT YOU'RE THE PERFECT OHANA FOR CLIP.

AND BUSINESS HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER.

CAN I OFFER YOU A FREE DO?

OHH!

NO, THANKS.

I LIKE MY HAIR JUST THE WAY IT IS.

[HULA MUSIC PLAYING]

[COMMUNICATOR BEEPS]

Dr. Hamsterviel: GANTU! WHAT IS GOING ON?

GANTU! WHAT'S THAT MUSIC?

[CROWD APPLAUDS] GANTU!