Original subtitles

TOOKIE BAH WABA!

HAO!

IKI BAH BAH.

HA HA HA.

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

HA HA HA!

d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d

d IKI TOOKIE NEE HI! d

d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d

d AKA TIKI BAH BAH d

d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d

d GABBA IKA TASOOPA? d

OOOCHA! CHI-KA!

d MIKI MIKI COCONUT d

d I LAILA 'O KAUA'I LA d

d NO MALIHINI OHANA d

d WELCOME, COUSINS, A-COME ON BY d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

d ALOHA, E KOMO MAI d

PLEAKLEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SHH. IT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN--

THE MOST EXCITING, CLIMACTIC MOMENT

OF THE DAILY EARTH EXPERIENCE!

MAIL CALL!

AKATA!

OOH! OOH! EVIL GENIUSES FIRST.

0.9% A.P.R. FOR ME.

"YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER" FOR JUMBA.

ONCE-A-YEAR WHITE SALE

FOR RESIDENT.

I'M RESIDENT!

EVEN SOMETHING FOR THE LITTLE MONSTER.

[BLOWS]

OH. AGAPA?

HMM. IT'S FROM THE LADY AT THE ANIMAL SHELTER

WHERE WE ADOPTED YOU.

IT SAYS IT'S TIME FOR YOUR SHOTS.

OH. OK.

BYE-BYE!

OH, NO, YOU DON'T!

Stitch: GO AWAY!

COME BACK HERE!

ABATA IKI!

AAH!

ABBA-TOOKA!

LOOK! "MRS. P. LEAKLEY

"HAS BEEN SELECTED OUT OF MILLIONS OF EARTHLINGS

FOR THIS ONE-OF-A-KIND OFFER."

[GASPS]

ME, TOO!

[STITCH GROANS]

Lilo: HEY!

[PLUNGER POPS OFF]

[WHIMPERS]

STITCH, COME DOWN.

IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR SHOTS,

YOU COULD CATCH A MUTATING VIRUS!

NAGGA SHOTS.

OUCHIE!

OK.

HOW ABOUT THIS?

IF YOU COME DOWN AND GET YOUR SHOTS,

YOU CAN HAVE COCONUT CAKE

FOR BREAKFAST.

COCONUT CAKE

AND COFFEE?

DEAL.

LOOK AT THIS!

AN ALIENS CONVENTION.

I'VE GOT TO GO, JUMBA.

WHY?

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

IT'S A GATHERING OF OTHER ALIENS

LIVING HERE ON EARTH.

I AM NOT SO SURE IF FLIER

IS SO EXACTLY MEANING THAT.

OH, OF COURSE IT DOES!

WHY, I COULD RUN IN TO SOME OF MY OLD FRIENDS

FROM EARTH EXPERT SCHOOL.

OH, I'M ALL ATWITTER!

JUST THINK, WE ARE NOT ALONE.

I BET I OUTHIT YOU BY 50 YARDS.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN HIT IT 50 YARDS.

HUH. I COULD'VE SWORN--

AH, WELL.

[CAWS]

[MIMICS CAW]

[TWITTERS]

[CAWS]

[RIBBIT RIBBIT]

[RIBBIT]

[CAWS]

[RIBBIT RIBBIT]

[CAWS]

[RIBBIT RIBBIT]

[CAWS]

OH, MAN!

THAT NOISE IS MAKING ME CRAZY!

Man on tape: AND IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS,

YOU MUST NEVER ACCEPT FAILURE.

TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE A DOER!

I AM A DOER.

LOUDER! MAKE YOUR MAMA PROUD!

I AM A DOER!

HEY, DO BOY,

WOULD YOU KEEP IT DOWN?

I'M TRYING TO SAVOR A SALAMI SUB IN HERE.

Computer voice: WARNING.

EXPERIMENT 258 ACTIVATED.

PRIMARY FUNCTION: SONIC ANNOYANCE.

HMM. DRIVES PEOPLE MAD

BY SAMPLING SOUNDS AND REPEATING THEM

IN AN ENDLESS, GRATING RHYTHM.

625,

TODAY I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL.

I'M ORDERING YOU TO NOT LET ME BACK IN THE SHIP

UNLESS I HAVE CAPTURED THAT EXPERIMENT.

REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHAT I SAY,

NO MATTER HOW MUCH I IMPLORE YOU,

DO NOT LET ME BACK IN

UNLESS I'VE CAPTURED THE EXPERIMENT.

OH, YEAH. HA!

THAT'LL WORK.

I HEARD THAT!

[STITCH CHOMPING]

ALL DONE?

[BELCHES]

GOOD. NOW LET'S GO GET YOUR SHOTS.

IKATA! ZOMBIES!

WHERE? HEY!

WE MADE A DEAL.

COME ON. YOU PROMISED.

I'M IN THE SHOWER!

d LA LA d

d LA LA d

d LA LA LA LA... d

[FLUSHES TOILET]

AAH!

[JACKHAMMER DRILLING]

[SAMPLES JACKHAMMER]

[SHOUTING]

I AM A DOER.

I AM A DOER.

SUCCESS IS WITHIN MY GRASP.

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS SEIZE IT.

Man: OOH-WHEE! YOU ARE ONE UGLY DOG.

HEY, COME BACK HERE!

I AM A DOER!

HUH?

OH, BLITZNAK.

OH, DEAR.

NOT AGAIN.

HELLO. I HAVE SOMETHING HERE

THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN.

NO, I'M NOT CALLING FROM A DISTANT GALAXY.

WE'RE HERE TO SEE THE SOMETHING.

IF YOU GUYS ARE ALIEN HUNTERS,

WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE ALIENS?

WELL, WE'RE GOING TO AN ALIENS CONVENTION,

SO MY MOM MADE THESE COSTUMES

OUT OF HER OLD TRAILER AWN--

INFILTRATE AND ASSIMILATE, MA'AM.

THESE COSTUMES ALLOW US TO WALK

AMONG THE E.T.s UNDETECTED.

MERWIN, LOOK AT THAT.

YOU THINK THAT'S A REAL LIVE...

ALIEN?

I THINK SO.

DEAN, WE ARE GOING TO TOTALLY ROCK

THE ALIENS CONVENTION!

YOU MEAN, LIKE LAST YEAR?

FELLOW BELIEVERS,

I, MERWIN FINKLESTEIN,

PROFESSIONAL ALIEN HUNTER,

PRESENT A REAL LIVE ALIEN.

Man: DUDE, THAT'S AN OSTRICH.

[LAUGHTER]

NO, NOT LIKE LAST YEAR.

Lilo: UHH! STITCH!

WE MADE A DEAL.

UHH! IT'S JUST A COUPLE OF SHOTS.

UHH! NAGGA BOO-TOO.

MADAM, WE TAKE THIS CREATURE

IN THE NAME OF SPACE SCIENCE,

FOR THE BENEFIT AND ADVANCEMENT

OF ALL HUMANKIND.

IT'S A NICE, SAFE PLACE.

DON'T WORRY.

Merwin: LOOK! ANOTHER ALIEN!

GRAB HIM! PUT HIM IN CHAINS!

Lilo: HEY! AAH!

Dean: HE'S ON THE CEILING.

Merwin: GET HIM!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

LEAVE STITCH ALONE!

[SAMPLES STITCH, JACKHAMMER]

STITCH! LOOK, IT'S A...

COUSIN.

HA! GOTCHA!

AAH! OOH! UHH!

OUCH.

OH, UH, WE COME IN PEACE.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER.

AAH!

DEAN!

COME ON!

THAT ALIEN STOLE OUR ALIEN!

SHH. YOU GOT TO KEEP IT DOWN, LITTLE GUY.

THEY'LL FIND US.

BE QUIET.

[RIBBIT, CAW]

[SAMPLING LILO] QUIET...

OHH!

[TWITTERING, RIBBIT, JACKHAMMER]

STUPID, ROCKY EARTH MATERIAL!

EXPERIMENT!

I AM A DOER.

I AM A DOER.

[258 SAMPLING]

COME ON!

UHH UHH! IKKI TAKKA!

[SAMPLING]

[SAMPLING STOPS]

HEY, THESE TIKIS WOULD LOOK COOL

IN YOUR MOM'S BASEMENT.

RIGHT.

AND WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP

ALL MY COMIC BOOKS?

OH, YEAH.

COME ON!

[SAMPLING] COME ON!

BASEMENT. BASEMENT. B-B-B--

[GRR]

AAH! YIKES!

SO, THOUGHT YOU COULD HIDE, HUH?

SORRY, KIDS. THIS LITTLE ALIEN IS...

MINE!

ANOTHER ONE!

AND HE'S BIG,

OUTER SPACE BIG.

FORGET THESE LITTLE GUYS.

LET'S BAG HIM!

OOKIE TAKKA!

OUT OF MY WAY, EARTH FORMS!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, ALIEN.

A PLASMA CONVERTING PULSE CANNON 9000 SERIES!

THE MOST FEARED WEAPON IN THE GALAXY!

ONLY ONE KNOWN COUNTERMEASURE.

RUN!

THAT ALIEN TOTALLY THINKS

YOUR RAY GUN IS REAL.

WHAT'S IT MADE OF?

TOILET PAPER ROLLS AND ALUMINUM FOIL.

COOL.

625, OPEN THE DOOR!

EH, WHERE'S THE EXPERIMENT?

WHAT?!

SORRY, SQUIGGLY.

CAN'T LET YOU IN WITHOUT THE EXPERIMENT.

HEY, YOUR ORDERS.

BY THE FIRES OF THE PLANET KREMLOT,

I'LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR--

Merwin: I THINK HE WENT OVER THAT WAY.

[258 SAMPLING]

Jumba: HEY, IS EXPERIMENT 258.

DESIGNED TO COPY SOUNDS

AND PLAY THEM BACK

IN ANNOYING MUSICAL RHYTHM,

DRIVING ENTIRE POPULACE TO MADNESS

AND LEADING TO PLANET-WIDE MAYHEM.

HA HA!

BUT IS SNAPPY BEAT, NO?

HA HA HA.

SO IT SAMPLES WHATEVER IT HEARS.

I GUESS I COULD CALL HIM SAMPLE.

[SAMPLING LILO] SAMPLE. S-S-S-SAMPLE.

SAMPLE, SAMPLE, SAMPLE, SAMPLE...

WELL, I'M OFF TO THE CONVENTION.

WOW! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

YOU STILL HAD THAT OUTFIT.

BYE-BYE!

HOLDING RIGHT THERE.

YOU CANNOT GOING DRESSING LIKE THAT.

OH, DON'T TELL ME,

THE EPAULETS CLASH WITH MY SKIN TONE.

I KNOW, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT.

THEY'RE STANDARD ISSUE.

IS NOT THAT.

ALIEN HUNTERS AND SPIES

WILL BE DRAWN TO BIG MEETING OF ALIENS.

YOU COULD BE BLOWING OUR COVER BIG TIME.

OH, PISH POSH.

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY THE ALIEN SOCIAL EVENT OF THE SEASON,

AND I, FOR ONE, AM NOT GOING TO MISS OUT.

BESIDES, I'LL KEEP ONE BIG EYE OUT

FOR YOUR ALIEN HUNTERS.

AH, I'M COMING, TOO.

MAKING SURE NOT BLOWING COVER.

YOU MAYBE HAVE ONE BIG EYE,

BUT ALSO, ONE TINY BRAIN.

STITCH?

WHERE DID YOU PUT SAMPLE?

MMM. AWAY.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

PLEAKLEY MUST HAVE FORGOT HIS KEYS AGAIN.

HELP! YOU MUST HIDE ME. UHH!

WHY WOULD WE HELP YOU?

THE ALIEN HUNTERS. THEY'RE AFTER ME!

ALIEN HUNTERS?!

WHAT'D YOU LEAD THEM HERE FOR?

THEY'RE COMING!

PLEASE. I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK.

ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL HELP YOU HIDE

IF YOU PROMISE,

IF YOU REALLY PROMISE

TO BE GOOD

AND NOT TRY TO TAKE SAMPLE.

THE EXPERIMENT? BUT I--

Dean: LOOK, ITS TRACKS LEAD UP HERE.

OK, I PROMISE. I PROMISE.

JUST TELL ME WHERE TO HIDE!

QUICK! UNDER THE SOFA.

UH-HUH. NO GOOD.

HOW ABOUT UPSTAIRS?

Merwin: I BET IT WENT INSIDE.

Lilo: HURRY! HURRY!

THE HALL CLOSET! QUICK!

UHH!

UHH! UHH!

UHH!

[CRASH]

WHAT WAS THAT?

[CAW, RIBBIT]

NO! QUIET!

[SAMPLING] QUIET!

SOMETHING TELLS ME

WE JUST HIT THE ALIEN JACKPOT!

[SAMPLING]

Merwin: GIVE ME A BOOST, DEAN.

THE ALIENS ARE DEFINITELY INSIDE.

QUIET. QUI-QUI-QUIET...

ISN'T THERE ANY WAY

TO SHUT THAT ABOMINATION UP?

COME ON. BASEMENT, BASEMENT,

B-B-B-BASEMENT.

BASEMENT. B-B-B-B-BASEMENT...

SAMPLE.

SAMPLE, SAMPLE,

SAMPLE, SAMPLE, SAMPLE...

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY

TO GET IN THERE!

UHH! UHH! UHH!

THEY'RE COMING THROUGH THE WINDOW!

HUH?

[RIBBIT RIBBIT]

[GRR]

UH, I'M NOT HERE.

UHH! UHH!

MERWIN?

IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA HELP, THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!

[GRUNTING]

BUT...

THE DOOR'S UNLOCKED.

OH. I KNEW THAT.

[CRASH]

QUICK! EVERYONE THIS WAY!

UHH!

AHA! DIRTY SPACE BUGS!

IT'S POINTLESS TO HIDE.

IKKATA! IKKATA!

I'M COMING.

UHH!

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT THE BIG PRIZE.

WHAT-- WHAT HAPPENED TO GANTU?

Gantu: UHH!

UHH!

UHH! HUH?

[THUD]

OH, NO.

AKA BOO.

NO. WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM BEHIND.

WE PROMISED TO HELP HIM,

AND A DEAL'S A DEAL.

OK.

HEY, WHERE'D EVERYBODY GO?

AAH! UHH!

YOU SEE, GENTLEMEN,

I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE EASY.

Lilo: UHH!

Stitch: STUPID HEAD.

GANTU, YOU CAN'T LET THEM TAKE YOU

TO THE ALIENS CONVENTION.

THEY'LL TELL EVERYBODY

YOU'RE AN ALIEN.

CORRECTION.

THEY'LL TELL EVERYBODY YOU'RE ALIENS.

BUT WE MADE A DEAL.

AND I MADE A NEW DEAL.

I AFFECT YOUR CAPTURE,

YOU 2 APPEAR IN THE ALIEN DEMONSTRATION

AT THE CONVENTION,

AND THEN THEY HAND 258 OVER TO ME.

UHH! GABBA!

SHOOBIE CHEEBBA!

QUIET, TROG.

WE'LL TURN THAT PLASMA CANNON ON YOU.

[GRR]

IS MY HAIR ON STRAIGHT?

THAT'S BETTER.

BUT YOU DON'T NEED IT.

I FEEL COMPLETELY AT HOME HERE.

HA! YOU SAY.

I THINK YOU'RE STICKING OUT LIKE SORE THUMB.

GREETINGS, FELLOW ALIENS.

SHEE. THEN AGAIN, MAYBE IS MY THUMB

THAT IS STICKING AND SOREING.

SEE? DID I NOT TELL YOU.

I DID. I TOLD YOU.

EAT LASER, EARTHLING!

HA HA HA!

DEADLY LASER!

ADVANCED KRUZARKIAN TECHNOLOGY.

YOU BETTER TAKE OFF YOUR INGENIOUS EARTH DISGUISE.

WHAT? YOU MEAN HAIR?

Boy: HEY, COOL!

WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

I--I AM JUMBA JOOKIBA

OF QWENTA KWAN,

EVIL GENIUS SCIENTIST.

CREATOR OF ILLEGAL GENETIC MUTATIONS

CAPABLE OF DESTRUCTING ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

OH, AWESOME!

I'M TRON TREEPSORP,

WING COMMANDER OF THE REBEL ALLIANCE.

UH, GOT ANY PINS YOU WANT TO TRADE?

LOOK!

CLARGOZONIANS!

AND THEY'RE STILL INSIDE

THEIR POLYACETATE SLEEP PODS.

REAL ALIENS, HUH?

HA HA. LOOKS LIKE SOME KOALA.

COULDN'T FIND AN OSTRICH THIS YEAR?

NO. THIS YEAR,

THEY'RE REALLY REAL.

THEY ARE NOT REAL.

ONE OF THEM'S MY DOG,

AND THE OTHER ONE IS, UH...

MY OTHER DOG!

Gantu: DON'T BE ABSURD.

THEIR PHYSIOLOGY IS OBVIOUSLY TOO BIZARRE

TO BE TERRENE.

GREAT COSTUME, GUY.

I'M NOT WEARING ANY...

UM, UNDERWEAR.

A LITTLE TOO MUCH SUBSPACE INFORMATION

FOR THIS CADET.

OK, I'LL PUT YOU GUYS ON.

IT SHOULD BE WORTH A LAUGH, ANYWAY.

[BAND PLAYING]

Jumba: OH, BOY.

WHAT PLANET ARE THEY FROM?

NO RHYTHMIA II? HA HA HA!

THEY ARE JUST TERRIBLE!

IF I HAD EARS, I'D PLUG THEM.

ALANNIA!

ALANNIA, IS THAT YOU? IT'S PLEAKLEY.

WE WENT TO THE PROM TOGETHER.

YOU ALWAYS WERE A FRAGILE LITTLE THING.

Man over P.A.: GREETINGS, ALIENS AND SPACEMEN.

CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?

RIGHT ON THIS STAGE

FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW,

MERWIN AND DEAN

AND THEIR REAL LIVE ALIENS

FROM OUTER SPACE...SPACE... SPACE...SPACE...SPACE.

[SARCASTICALLY] WHOA, THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD.

WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT ALIENS?

WE'RE ALL REAL LIVE ALIENS HERE.

[COUGHS] WHAT A GEEK.

EVERY YEAR, WE COME TO THIS CONVENTION

PRETENDING AND HOPING

TO SEE REAL ALIENS,

INSTEAD OF JUST OUR FRIENDS IN COSTUMES.

COSTUMES?

IT'S SHOW TIME, TROGS. WHA--

IKKI TAKA!

COME BACK HERE, YOU!

NAGGA.

[CRASH]

IKKI TAKKA!

FELLOW BELIEVERS,

I, MERWIN FINKLESTEIN,

PROFESSIONAL ALIEN HUNTER,

AM PROUD TO PRESENT

A REAL LIVE ALIEN.

[CROWD GASPS]

HUH?

BUT WE HAD A DEAL!

YEAH, WE DID.

BUT YOU LET THOSE OTHER 2 GET AWAY!

SO YOU'RE GONNA TAKE THEIR PLACE.

OH, YOU THINK SO?

OK, OK.

JUST BE CAREFUL WITH THAT THING.

OH, NO. YOU WERE RIGHT.

THEY'RE BIG, NASTY ALIEN HUNTERS

WITH A BIG, NASTY PLASMA CONVERTOR PULSE CANNON,

AND YOU AND I ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!

BLAH! BIG HUNTERS ARE BIG PHONIES

AND SO IS GUN.

LOOKS LIKE PLASMA CONVERTOR 9000 SERIES,

BUT IS OBVIOUS FAKE.

SEE, STITCH?

NEVER BAIL OUT ON A DEAL,

BECAUSE WHAT GOES AROUND

COMES AROUND.

NOTE THAT ALIENS

ARE MUCH LESS INTELLIGENT

THAN WE MIGHT HAVE EXPECTED.

WHAT?! HEY, I--

[GRR]

ALSO, THEY'RE KIND OF UGLY.

BUT THEY'RE VERY OBEDIENT.

DO A LITTLE JIG FOR US, ALIEN.

HEE HEE! COME ON, STITCH.

THAT GAVE ME A GOOD IDEA

FOR SAMPLE'S ONE TRUE PLACE.

COME ON, COUSIN.

BUT ISN'T THIS BAD? OUR SECRET'S OUT.

THEY BELIEVE GANTU IS A REAL ALIEN.

WHAT A FAKE!

THAT'S TOTALLY A SAMOAN IN A WHALE SUIT.

CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW LAME THESE GUYS ARE?

YEAH. I MEAN, GET A LIFE.

YEAH. LET'S GO PLAY DUNGEONS & DOORKNOBS.

HEY, GUYS. LET'S GO DANCE

TO FUNK ROSWELL AND THE TALL GREYS.

BUT WHY?

THEY'RE TERRIBLE.

NOT ANYMORE.

THEY'VE GOT A NEW RHYTHM SECTION.

[BAND PLAYING]

[258 SAMPLING]

LOOK AT HIM GO.

I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST PROGRAMMED TO BE ANNOYING.

I GUESS FOR DISCO DANCING,

ANNOYING RHYTHMICAL BEAT IS GOOD THING.

COME ON, LET'S BOOGIE!

Stitch: OOH! SHAGEELA, BABY!